Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Twinkies · Twinkies

The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...

Lyne · Lyne

Recovery is a process: The reading today speaks about how there are so many instant things in our society that we might expect recovery to be "instant" as well. However that is not so. It takes time & patience to heal, change , and trust. We need to stop expecting instant relief, and accept that...

Scared1993 · Scared1993

My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She t...

im-just-tired · im-just-tired

what do i do when my dad comes home drunk? I'm never sure anymore. I've tried ignoring it, avoiding it, confronting it, and pretending I don't notice it. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens frequently enough and sometimes it can be really bad. He drives home a lot. I can't always be sure how much...

Scared1993 · Scared1993

My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be to be, And oh, to lose. A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing, a holy thing to love. For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me. To remember this brings painful joy. Tis a h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is something I haven't openly shared a lot and I'm not sure how to, I have tried some support groups and let me tell you how that worked out .. LOL .. it's not Alanon. My daughter has informed me that she's choosing to transition into a man, and I'm trying to swallow a gay trans man .. let me explain. I h...

Aline · Aline

Thanks for being part - one of the best - of my year! I'm grateful for all your ESH, support and acceptance. May the next year bring more healing and hope to all!

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the great relief many of us felt immediately when coming into the program. Some have described it like being washed up on the shore, or being lifted up after exhaustion , or like the writer- having a thirst quenched. For me, having the methodical side th...

Overcome · Overcome

An impromptu meeting is now going on in the chat room. Anyone wishing to join, the topic is "A spiritual experience brought on by nature. (or any other al-anon topic that you wish to share on)" the topic is taken from the CAL book" Having had a spiritual awakening".

Tigger · Tigger

Hi Friends, It is a while since I posted anything, but I feel the need to share this significant event. The sudden and unexpected death of my primary A, my father. We just had his funeral, so this is a tough Christmas for my family. There is a lot of sadness in me and I'm taking each hour at a time during this t...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a peaceful Christmas and I wish you all a happy new year. For anyone who's been reading my post, you will know that I split up with my alcoholic partner about 5 months ago and he died 3 months later. Christmas was hard as I was expecting, I kept it as simple as possible for mysel...

Shane · Shane

I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...

nyan23 · nyan23

I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...

CarlyH · CarlyH

Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...

Chels · Chels

Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....

Steph79 · Steph79

So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...

Elabella · Elabella

I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...

Mokka · Mokka

In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...

el-cee · el-cee

Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...

Grace R · Grace R

Hi all and holiday blessings. I always have trouble finding it here. If any service members see this message please tell me how to find it so i can participate. Thanks v much

Support for a New Member?.. · FckdByKarma

So... Iâve come to realize that Iâm dating an alcoholic. The main problem? He doesnât think he has a problem so no changes are being made.. like someone else mentioned, itâs exactly like dating Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I think the worst part about it is that he doesnât even see it.. just treats me like a dic...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

My spouse's nephew has hosted Xmas Eve for the last 5 years since this side of the family couldn't bear to get together on Xmas Day (since his mother died on Christmas Day). It is a wonderful get together... great food & watching the young kids open presents is so fun! However, with all that was going...

joker · joker

Here it is Christmas eve, and I woke up, to quite. Blessed quite. No craziness! I am feeling so blessed! The alcoholic is god knows where. I assume with his ex-wife he said over and over again he is getting back with. She can have your drunkenness and insanity! She can handle it, she must be supper woman, I...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

Recently,at a meeting,I didn't finish my share and I decided to continue it here,and I hope that's ok.I think what I need is ESH to help myself work through this rather than just "tyfs" anyway. I have been struggling with forgiveness lately.Since my AH overdosed last month I have been holding a grudg...

MizzB · MizzB

He's come home drunk. Having been in a fight. He's pretty beaten up - should probably go to hospital but he's aggressive with me and has gone to bed so not my problem. I've messaged him saying we need to break up. I feel bad having to message but in the last week I haven't seen him sober so it's my only way of co...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Yesterday was a great day for me...Talked on phone w/my kids and other loved ones including my A brother Apparently his bad arthritis is not so bad, originally he tells me docs want him on a rowing machine to help make him better, which was odd to me, and I also know that when he thinks he is in "deep doo doo"...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yup. My phone rang tonight around 5:30, but I didn't recognize the number, and I was in the middle of Christmas dinner with my family, so I did not pick up. Later when it was quiet, I listened to the voicemail. RAH sounded good, but oddly wished me and my son a "Merry Christmas." What part of this Christmas...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for December 26 speaks about the slogan, " let go and let God". It points out that many people think the slogan suggests that we do not take any action but simply sit back and let God do the work .Actually the true meaning of the slogan indicates that we must use our own good sense pray on...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Merry Christmas Family...didn't see an earlier greeting so here is one from the Big Island of Hawaii. It is cool and not cold...Mahalo Akua (Thank You HP) for that cause I don't do cold and there is no alcoholism wandering around bumping into my life like there use to be. Now it is doves outside the w...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this is kind of late in posting b/c I hadn't planned on sharing this... but the more I thought about it and read posts here on the MIP board, I thought that this ESH could help someone else... I had shared earlier about a letter from my spouse's rehab facility inviting family members to come visit their...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I will start by saying since leaving my exAH I have done the work and am no longer enabling addicts. I am happy and life is good. Every Christmas I cycle and just find myself sobbing at some point thinking about all the miserable years of my childhood and 15 years with my exAH. I come back out of it and feel ok...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

We spent the weekend apart, I went to visit some friends in a town where we used to live. While I was away I missed him. I thought that there would be quiet and peace and I would be so relieved to be finally away from him, but I missed him, and when I came back I felt so warm towards him. I still want him to enter tr...

luv123 · luv123

This disease is cunning and baffling & "too much for most of us without such spiritual help". I am ever grateful to the long time members who have shared many tools (spiritual help) with me that they find handy during family gatherings where there has been a history of stressful or difficult situa...

Lyne · Lyne

Silence: The reading points out that alanon teaches us to hold our tongue and and wait to react, yet it says that we can also use silence as a weapon. It can be used to punish and can actually be more harsh than cruel words. And if you are hurting someone else, you are essentially hurting yourself. Our...

Lisa gold · Lisa gold

Hi everyone! I am knew here. I have a brother who is an alcoholic. He is 26 around the age of 18 he started drinking and smoking weed. For as long as I could remember my parents sole focus is on him. I don't remember the last conversation I had with my parents that didn't involve his drinking. He has been to 9 r...

hotrod · hotrod

Posting for Looking up who is experiencing computer problems The ODAT reading for December 23 focuses on the need for "" perfectionism".. The reading points out that clinging to our unrealistic ideas of what life. should be prevents us from grasping the important concepts of acceptance and deta...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about the Steps -their strength and importance in our recovery. This reading is particularly resonant with me for two reasons. I recently decided, with my sponsors support and guidance, to work the steps again. I am a musician and in some ways working the s...

andromeda · andromeda

Hello everyone! Hope you all are well. I've been unemployed now for a month and I have finally gotten a chance to slow down, read, journal more, get back into my steps, and work on some self reflection. I've come to realize that I was doing a lot of projecting in my relationship. I got very good at poin...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I came into these MIP groups six years ago... I used the steps board to cover the Alanon Steps and one other. I learned carefully how and why this MIP board was set up and met the creator John F. For me these message boards and chat rooms are full of hope. I was so hungry for hope. I woul...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

Short version Active alcoholic manipulated a situation to get his way and make me look like a b if I said anything. I'm having a really hard time letting this go. Looking for some words of wisdom. Long version Went out for my (a) husbands birthday with his parents. I left the table for a minute and whe...

serenity47 · serenity47

Christmas has always been very important to me and I used to love the season. Not so much anymore. Until addiction entered my life I don't think I was really grateful for the moments of peace that I am able to have on occasion. I used to take it all for granted. I have no plans this year, I have changed my...

2HP · 2HP

In one of my groups, we held a group conscience to discuss interrupting members (gently of course) if their share was becoming too focused on the alcoholic. They wished to include in our opening remarks that "In Al-anon, we share our own ESH while keeping the focus on ourselves and how the program is h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have finally started to feel semi normal in terms of health. The last 3 weeks have been pretty brutal. I still am having a bout of something however nothing that the original antibiotics has not taken care of, the coughing was the worst and now it seems I have some weird intestinal thing going on and o...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

As soon as I woke up this morning I started thinking "Let it begin with me". I don't know why though because I wasn't consciously thinking it.And that thought has been repeating over and over in my mind since then.I even felt the urge(nudge?) to search online and do some reading on it.I also felt an urge...

Cjm42 · Cjm42

My AH is coming up on (maybe) 3 months sober, but he came home tonight and I suspect heâs been drinking. I think I smell it, under a lot of minty gum. Heâs acting just a little off. I hate this feeling of distrust, worry, anger (for maybe being lied to), guilt (for maybe being wrong in my suspicion). I have a b...

Lyne · Lyne

Sometimes I just shake my head at myself because there are days and activities I just find hard to do and/or don't want to do. Today I will be taking care of my sick granddaughter knowing full well I may get sick too. Earlier this week I went to the dentist and had another medical check up the very next day...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sober can be scary too (Preview) The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...	Twinkies	4	971	Jan 3, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Discuss with me 'Jeckyl and Hyde" (Preview) My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...	andromeda	14	3583	Jan 2, 2018 by LinSC
	Al ANON HELP FOR SEVERE ANXIETY (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...	Charlotte22	16	5025	Jan 2, 2018 by SoggySlippers
	ODAT Reading 1-2-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...	hotrod	5	2771	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	About Guilt (Preview) I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...	PosiesandPuppies	12	4057	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	Lost my alcoholic husband this past spring. (Preview) Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...	Bloodshotbetty	11	2994	Jan 1, 2018 by Bloodshotbetty
	C2C, 1/1 (Preview) Recovery is a process: The reading today speaks about how there are so many instant things in our society that we might expect recovery to be "instant" as well. However that is not so. It takes time & patience to heal, change , and trust. We need to stop expecting instant relief, and accept that...	Lyne	5	2508	Jan 1, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	My daughter (Preview) My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...	Scared1993	2	2051	Jan 1, 2018 by Lyne
	update on our situation (Preview) Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She t...	AnnieFenk321	4	2685	Jan 1, 2018 by Freetime
	Drunk Dads who come home Drunk father dad drunk driving unacceptable behaviour consequences help (Preview) what do i do when my dad comes home drunk? I'm never sure anymore. I've tried ignoring it, avoiding it, confronting it, and pretending I don't notice it. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens frequently enough and sometimes it can be really bad. He drives home a lot. I can't always be sure how much...	im-just-tired	4	4868	Jan 1, 2018 by nyan23
	My daughter (Preview) My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...	Scared1993	1	2462	Jan 1, 2018 by AnnieFenk321
	Poem about grief and loss (Tis a fearful thing) (Preview) Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be to be, And oh, to lose. A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing, a holy thing to love. For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me. To remember this brings painful joy. Tis a h...	SerenityRUS	8	2742	Dec 31, 2017 by tiredtonite
	News, news and news .. (Preview) This is something I haven't openly shared a lot and I'm not sure how to, I have tried some support groups and let me tell you how that worked out .. LOL .. it's not Alanon. My daughter has informed me that she's choosing to transition into a man, and I'm trying to swallow a gay trans man .. let me explain. I h...	SerenityRUS	14	2822	Dec 31, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Thank you! (Preview) Thanks for being part - one of the best - of my year! I'm grateful for all your ESH, support and acceptance. May the next year bring more healing and hope to all!	Aline	5	668	Dec 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Dec 31 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the great relief many of us felt immediately when coming into the program. Some have described it like being washed up on the shore, or being lifted up after exhaustion , or like the writer- having a thirst quenched. For me, having the methodical side th...	yanksfan51	5	676	Dec 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sunday Morning Meeting (Preview) An impromptu meeting is now going on in the chat room. Anyone wishing to join, the topic is "A spiritual experience brought on by nature. (or any other al-anon topic that you wish to share on)" the topic is taken from the CAL book" Having had a spiritual awakening".	Overcome	3	2632	Dec 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Grieving the loss of my A this Christmas (Preview) Hi Friends, It is a while since I posted anything, but I feel the need to share this significant event. The sudden and unexpected death of my primary A, my father. We just had his funeral, so this is a tough Christmas for my family. There is a lot of sadness in me and I'm taking each hour at a time during this t...	Tigger	24	2239	Dec 30, 2017 by Tigger
	Anyone else struggle with peace and quiet when the alcoholic is gone? (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you all had a peaceful Christmas and I wish you all a happy new year. For anyone who's been reading my post, you will know that I split up with my alcoholic partner about 5 months ago and he died 3 months later. Christmas was hard as I was expecting, I kept it as simple as possible for mysel...	Sorcha	4	1003	Dec 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	New and lost (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...	Shane	15	1775	Dec 30, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Frustrated (Preview) I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...	nyan23	4	669	Dec 30, 2017 by Maresie
	When They Blame You (Preview) After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...	SoggySlippers	15	2919	Dec 30, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C Reading for 12-30-2017 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...	hotrod	4	3065	Dec 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Feeling sad... was I a trigger (Preview) Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...	CarlyH	9	3846	Dec 29, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/29/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...	Iamhere	7	2456	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/28/17 (Preview) The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...	Iamhere	15	3157	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	When an addict pretends to be clean (Preview) Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...	allywoo	11	2695	Dec 29, 2017 by newnoz
	New and Overwhelmed (Preview) Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....	Chels	8	4995	Dec 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	What's best for the kid? (Preview) So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...	Steph79	10	2846	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm losing my mind and turning into a monster... (Preview) I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...	Elabella	17	6824	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm full .. (Preview) I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...	SerenityRUS	12	2615	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Tired of it all (Preview) In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...	Mokka	8	2607	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Confusion and crisis (Preview) Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...	el-cee	12	4221	Dec 28, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Courage to Change December 27 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...	Skorpi	6	1030	Dec 28, 2017 by DavidG
	Help please, I cant find "step of the week" ?! (Preview) Hi all and holiday blessings. I always have trouble finding it here. If any service members see this message please tell me how to find it so i can participate. Thanks v much	Grace R	1	1192	Dec 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Support for a New Member?.. (Preview) So... Iâve come to realize that Iâm dating an alcoholic. The main problem? He doesnât think he has a problem so no changes are being made.. like someone else mentioned, itâs exactly like dating Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I think the worst part about it is that he doesnât even see it.. just treats me like a dic...	FckdByKarma	13	1001	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Surprise! A Good Christmas Eve (Preview) My spouse's nephew has hosted Xmas Eve for the last 5 years since this side of the family couldn't bear to get together on Xmas Day (since his mother died on Christmas Day). It is a wonderful get together... great food & watching the young kids open presents is so fun! However, with all that was going...	PosiesandPuppies	10	1247	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Just thinking (Preview) Here it is Christmas eve, and I woke up, to quite. Blessed quite. No craziness! I am feeling so blessed! The alcoholic is god knows where. I assume with his ex-wife he said over and over again he is getting back with. She can have your drunkenness and insanity! She can handle it, she must be supper woman, I...	joker	9	1148	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Forgiveness (Preview) Recently,at a meeting,I didn't finish my share and I decided to continue it here,and I hope that's ok.I think what I need is ESH to help myself work through this rather than just "tyfs" anyway. I have been struggling with forgiveness lately.Since my AH overdosed last month I have been holding a grudg...	SoggySlippers	10	5011	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	The final Straw (Preview) He's come home drunk. Having been in a fight. He's pretty beaten up - should probably go to hospital but he's aggressive with me and has gone to bed so not my problem. I've messaged him saying we need to break up. I feel bad having to message but in the last week I haven't seen him sober so it's my only way of co...	MizzB	14	851	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	A brother is now rationing himself on the drinking---appeasement to me?? (Preview) Yesterday was a great day for me...Talked on phone w/my kids and other loved ones including my A brother Apparently his bad arthritis is not so bad, originally he tells me docs want him on a rowing machine to help make him better, which was odd to me, and I also know that when he thinks he is in "deep doo doo"...	mamalioness	3	2813	Dec 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	He called from rehab (Preview) Yup. My phone rang tonight around 5:30, but I didn't recognize the number, and I was in the middle of Christmas dinner with my family, so I did not pick up. Later when it was quiet, I listened to the voicemail. RAH sounded good, but oddly wished me and my son a "Merry Christmas." What part of this Christmas...	PosiesandPuppies	7	679	Dec 26, 2017 by maryjane
	ODAT reading 12--26-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for December 26 speaks about the slogan, " let go and let God". It points out that many people think the slogan suggests that we do not take any action but simply sit back and let God do the work .Actually the true meaning of the slogan indicates that we must use our own good sense pray on...	hotrod	4	660	Dec 26, 2017 by maryjane
	Mele Kalikimaka... (Preview) Merry Christmas Family...didn't see an earlier greeting so here is one from the Big Island of Hawaii. It is cool and not cold...Mahalo Akua (Thank You HP) for that cause I don't do cold and there is no alcoholism wandering around bumping into my life like there use to be. Now it is doves outside the w...	Jerry F	11	848	Dec 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Update on visiting spouse in rehab (Preview) So this is kind of late in posting b/c I hadn't planned on sharing this... but the more I thought about it and read posts here on the MIP board, I thought that this ESH could help someone else... I had shared earlier about a letter from my spouse's rehab facility inviting family members to come visit their...	PosiesandPuppies	5	901	Dec 25, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	It’s been awhile (Preview) I will start by saying since leaving my exAH I have done the work and am no longer enabling addicts. I am happy and life is good. Every Christmas I cycle and just find myself sobbing at some point thinking about all the miserable years of my childhood and 15 years with my exAH. I come back out of it and feel ok...	Breakingfree	5	632	Dec 25, 2017 by Breakingfree
	Have I changed my mind? (Preview) We spent the weekend apart, I went to visit some friends in a town where we used to live. While I was away I missed him. I thought that there would be quiet and peace and I would be so relieved to be finally away from him, but I missed him, and when I came back I felt so warm towards him. I still want him to enter tr...	AnnieFenk321	6	703	Dec 25, 2017 by Maresie
	TOOLS I can CHOOSE to use for the holidays (Preview) This disease is cunning and baffling & "too much for most of us without such spiritual help". I am ever grateful to the long time members who have shared many tools (spiritual help) with me that they find handy during family gatherings where there has been a history of stressful or difficult situa...	luv123	10	897	Dec 25, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C, 12/25 (Preview) Silence: The reading points out that alanon teaches us to hold our tongue and and wait to react, yet it says that we can also use silence as a weapon. It can be used to punish and can actually be more harsh than cruel words. And if you are hurting someone else, you are essentially hurting yourself. Our...	Lyne	3	613	Dec 25, 2017 by mamalioness
	Alcoholic brother and now need to detach from him and parents advice appreciated. (Preview) Hi everyone! I am knew here. I have a brother who is an alcoholic. He is 26 around the age of 18 he started drinking and smoking weed. For as long as I could remember my parents sole focus is on him. I don't remember the last conversation I had with my parents that didn't involve his drinking. He has been to 9 r...	Lisa gold	4	681	Dec 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 12-23-2017 (Preview) Posting for Looking up who is experiencing computer problems The ODAT reading for December 23 focuses on the need for "" perfectionism".. The reading points out that clinging to our unrealistic ideas of what life. should be prevents us from grasping the important concepts of acceptance and deta...	hotrod	5	683	Dec 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today Dec 24 (Preview) Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about the Steps -their strength and importance in our recovery. This reading is particularly resonant with me for two reasons. I recently decided, with my sponsors support and guidance, to work the steps again. I am a musician and in some ways working the s...	yanksfan51	8	785	Dec 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	TIME to THINK (Preview) Hello everyone! Hope you all are well. I've been unemployed now for a month and I have finally gotten a chance to slow down, read, journal more, get back into my steps, and work on some self reflection. I've come to realize that I was doing a lot of projecting in my relationship. I got very good at poin...	andromeda	12	895	Dec 23, 2017 by Breakingfree
	My Christmassy topic... (Preview) Hi y'all... I came into these MIP groups six years ago... I used the steps board to cover the Alanon Steps and one other. I learned carefully how and why this MIP board was set up and met the creator John F. For me these message boards and chat rooms are full of hope. I was so hungry for hope. I woul...	DavidG	5	865	Dec 23, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Manipulation (Preview) Short version Active alcoholic manipulated a situation to get his way and make me look like a b if I said anything. I'm having a really hard time letting this go. Looking for some words of wisdom. Long version Went out for my (a) husbands birthday with his parents. I left the table for a minute and whe...	Cmag3	3	874	Dec 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	Ok with things i never thought I would be ok with (Preview) Christmas has always been very important to me and I used to love the season. Not so much anymore. Until addiction entered my life I don't think I was really grateful for the moments of peace that I am able to have on occasion. I used to take it all for granted. I have no plans this year, I have changed my...	serenity47	6	838	Dec 23, 2017 by Maresie
	Group conscience (Preview) In one of my groups, we held a group conscience to discuss interrupting members (gently of course) if their share was becoming too focused on the alcoholic. They wished to include in our opening remarks that "In Al-anon, we share our own ESH while keeping the focus on ourselves and how the program is h...	2HP	21	1121	Dec 22, 2017 by newnoz
	Feeling much more myself lately .. (Preview) I have finally started to feel semi normal in terms of health. The last 3 weeks have been pretty brutal. I still am having a bout of something however nothing that the original antibiotics has not taken care of, the coughing was the worst and now it seems I have some weird intestinal thing going on and o...	SerenityRUS	3	738	Dec 22, 2017 by _bunny_
	Let It Begin With Me (Preview) As soon as I woke up this morning I started thinking "Let it begin with me". I don't know why though because I wasn't consciously thinking it.And that thought has been repeating over and over in my mind since then.I even felt the urge(nudge?) to search online and do some reading on it.I also felt an urge...	SoggySlippers	13	1438	Dec 22, 2017 by WestMan
	Is he drinking? (Preview) My AH is coming up on (maybe) 3 months sober, but he came home tonight and I suspect heâs been drinking. I think I smell it, under a lot of minty gum. Heâs acting just a little off. I hate this feeling of distrust, worry, anger (for maybe being lied to), guilt (for maybe being wrong in my suspicion). I have a b...	Cjm42	2	625	Dec 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hard being a grown up (Preview) Sometimes I just shake my head at myself because there are days and activities I just find hard to do and/or don't want to do. Today I will be taking care of my sick granddaughter knowing full well I may get sick too. Earlier this week I went to the dentist and had another medical check up the very next day...	Lyne	4	1013	Dec 21, 2017 by Iamhere
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