Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

phoebemoonpie · phoebemoonpie

Hi, everyone. I really need some help. And a big pity party, sorry. Back in August I posted about my husband's abuse of Robitussin (after being clean and sober, at least I "think" so, for several years). Since then my life has been in a horrible downward spiral. I'd asked h...

Kim · Kim

This weekend has been busy. Went out with friends Friday night, yesterday I got up and started cleaning/decorating for Christmas. It was hard and I knew it would be....going through our Christmas stuff, stockings with everyone's names on it (my A, my stepdaughter, my dog who passed in...

Powerless · Powerless

I have been reasing the book SELF MATTERS by Dr. Phil. I have been doing the book work along with the step work. I have been having a very difficult time reliving things best forgotten. I am running through all of the feelings of abandonment. doubt, fear, confusion, hopelessness a...

alanon_2002 · alanon_2002

Hi, I am living with an alcholic...I do not drink or smoke...I am in pain at least once or more times a week when he drinks...tonight I said the wrong thing...i am accused of everything. I cannot cry. It gets worse...it is all my fault, everything is...I am told...I am crying so deep and silently now...i...

seashell · seashell

I was trying to get online for a meeting. I am not that clear on java, is there some way just to log online? Thanks

Powerless · Powerless

I decided today to go back to school. I want to start next month by taking one or two classes at the local community college. I have two years of courses, but think I would like to get into psychiatric nursing. In fact, i have thought long and hard about this and know this is what I want t...

nycbt · nycbt

In a month I have gotten real strong. I have learned that it is ok to say no. To stick to my guns and not give him back the key that I took from him. For not giving in an letting him drive the car by himself. I took the key because he is not in recovery and I am afaird that he is going to get a DWI and my car will be taken...

Jersey · Jersey

Well, I did it. I've wanted to for a long time but was too afraid of what might really happen. I told my A either you clean up or I'm leaving. I didn't mean it as a threat and I didn't mean to force him to do anything. The thing is, I just can't hang on anymore. If he isn't willing to get help, then he isn't, but a...

Michele · Michele

I found a picture that my eight year old son drew yesterday. It was very violent. It showed a boy being stabbed by swords and axes. I asked him about it and he said he was just bored. When I showed it to my husband, my A, he thought it was funny and it was just a "boy" thing. I didn't think so and showed it to my p...

TLC2 · TLC2

Has anyone heard from Debilyn? Debilyn, if you see this, sure would like to know if you're ok!! Love and lotsa TLC

bobump · bobump

I had an interesting thought that while maybe not original, really meant something to me tonday in my f2f. Two people shared about going back and forth on something. I've constantly found myself doing this and many times I'm comforted w/ esh that says not to be hard on myself, prog...

sandie123 · sandie123

I was talking to someone today about drugs and alcohol use and how it affects both the user and the people around them. I was talking about how when one is in a drug/alcohol induced state they do not think about purposely hurting someone else but the fact is they don’t think at all. Their brain is like a fau...

seashell · seashell

I just found this site and registered. I had been quite active at local meetings for over 7 years. Then I stopped the meetings, I moved, but still read my books daily. I think it is time to bring it back into my life more and focus on me. I just keep doing too much for others ...

Powerless · Powerless

I feel terrible, yet relieved. I was really missing my big kids today. they are still with their dad and do not want to return home as long as I live with my husband. He kept bothering me and asking me what was wrong. I told him that it's his fault the kids and I left to begin with an...

pixel04 · pixel04

Last night my sponsor reminded me admitting powerlessness means letting go of self will so there is room for God's will to come in. I hear all the time in Alanon that you can't fill a cup that's already full. That Alanon helps us let go of a lot of the crap we bring in with us so that there's room for somethi...

flumpy · flumpy

Hiya Pico, Only me flumpy, just wondering how you are. I hope you are doing ok, and staying strong for yourself. Hope you come back to the room soon, coz I would really love to chat with you again. Stay strong for you and only you and be true to yourself.. All the flumpy love in the world, flump...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

hello all.... Hmmm I want to make this short and sweet.I went to a ftf yesterday,and one of the members there said something to me that stuck.She said that she is glad I go to the meetings because I add a kick to them.I haven't been going too often because I was sick.Anyways this member also said that she...

hopeful · hopeful

Hallo it has been along time since i visiteed this site.I have been in the programme for about 3 years and during this period i have felt alot of warmth and support from the members of the local groups that i regularly attended.At this very moment i feel very sad,frustrated lonely,and broken hea...

bluecrow · bluecrow

It was just seven days ago that my A was under the influance of Meth., once again, It was hell living with the anger that gets triggered by the drug. He calls me terrible names and looks at me as if he would like me dead. His uncommunicative and all efforts to com...

Cyn · Cyn

Dear H I am thankful for being able to share the time I did with you. It was the most wonderful time of my life - always is. 8 years we have been "dancing" around what it would be to truly commit to a relationship to each other - and we finally got to experience it. It was beautiful, spec...

Cyn · Cyn

I am walking out the door with no expectations - going to meet up with some old friends and meet some new friends while watching a club hockey game. Once again I will repeat it to myself - I wasnt the problem - drugs were the problem and I ended the relationship for my own health and sanity. This is goo...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

uncle lou, i hope your ok, havent seen you post in a while. hope you do soon.

teddybear · teddybear

Thank you to each one of you, for responding to my post. You all helped me to feel a sense of belonging. Within the last few days, I have been going through a difficult time. It is difficult sometimes, and almost impossible for me to have a lot of self-disclosure, becau...

hudsond · hudsond

Hi everybody. I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, but I have gone to a couple of f2f meetings. I've been feeling and doing pretty well. My a has been doing well. I think I was scared last time I posted because he was suppose to come by with his check and didn't show up -so I just k...

alanon_2002 · alanon_2002

Holidays are here. They are the toughest...i am usually alone, but for the past few yrs, I have been with Him...all of his family drinks....I am going out of town the Christmas week...we will be with his realtives..they ALL drink ...last yr. there was one person that did not. and of course the kids dont...

Jeannie · Jeannie

I read this wonderful book last night. It is by Jeanet Geringer Woititz, author of Adult Children of Alcoholics. The name of the book is "Marriage on the Rocks, Learning to Live with yourslef and an Alcoholic." The book is amazing. I felt like the author was sitting in the room talking one on one wit...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanon Friends, I said goodbye yesterday to my oldest son who is in the military. He is going into combat for the third time and he is only 22 years old. He knows exactly what he is getting into and it was hard to watch him prepare to go. We helped him clear out his apartment. I brought his Christmas st...

pixel04 · pixel04

I called my father yesterday, trying to get hold of my mother. She and I had been playing phone tag for several days. So yesterday I tried at 11 am - she wasn't answering at work. 2 pm - she wasn't at home, my father said. 6 pm (9pm their time), he tells me she never came home, she hasn't been home for 3 days, s...

gknee · gknee

Hi Boarders- I am pasting in a wonderful comment by a member of a different board I post on. She so eloquently describes a good alanon attitude(and she is not talking about A!!). It really spoke to me. My A (currently inactive) and I were talking last nite and he was discussing possibly using ag... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Powerless · Powerless

When I was gone, I felt such freedom, relief and hope. I also felt fear, lonely, alone, scared, angry, resentful, confused and befuddled. I relished the feeling of freedom and the suspense of not knowing what tomorrow would bring. I could ahve turned my life into anything I wanted to. I k...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, Okay, my husband has been doing his IOP program. I am trying to stay out of his program, but I have some concerns about the family. He is so much worse instead of better. I realize this is normal. He has justified himslef that everything is my fault. But what else is new. He has justified that he sho...

cabma · cabma

My a is a crack addict. He has a good job but I believe he blew it this week when he left monday night (it's thursday night) and hasn't been back since and never called into work. He's out doing drugs. he's found a new place where they sell the stuff right downstairs so he doesn't ever ha...

Kim · Kim

This morning I awoke somewhat anxious. I had a busy day and had to interview about 5 people, but still my mind was buzzing again about my A. My first instinct was to call and lash out at him, but I set my sights on work and before I knew it I was in the throws of my day and my mind was off of it. He called this evenin...

Cyn · Cyn

I know my ex is in denial - but so am I. Its been almost 2 weeks since I last spoke to him - and 2 weeks since I bottomed out wanting to end my life because the person I love couldnt handle being the nice person he always was to me - because he is an ADDICT. I took it personally - and in some ways still d...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

You are reading from the book Touchstones </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=212>. In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. --Albert Camus Sometimes we suddenly see or sense opposite emotions within ourselves. The cold of win...

kitty · kitty

Sometimes being the bearer of the truth is just so hard -- they always shoot the messenger. Everyone asks for the truth but then they rip you to pieces over it... yes, the sword... I feel like I drag it around. I would never want to hurt anyone, I would hurt myself first. It is amaz...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys, i came home from work today and was informed by my mom that my "a" (ex-boyfriend) had left his rehab after only 6 weeks...out of a 12 week programme i knew deep down he wouldnt last. when i saw him sunday he seemed detached like he knew what he was gonna do. hes in a homeless shelter now tonight i...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - December 1 I've struggled long and hard in Al-Anon to understand the idea of detachment with love. At first, it sounded like an oxymoron. Detachment was the opposite of love, I thought. It seemed like abandoning the people I loved because of their alcoholism. Was I supposed to just s...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I had a bad morning today... My one son gets up in the middle of the night continuously. He was the good sleeper, now it's the other one that doesn't give me trouble at night. The kids are not listening to me at all lately. Yes, they're two and tantrums and selective hearing is e...

Evilynn · Evilynn

And it felt real good. I even went before I went to work. They told me not to make any big decisions (like kicking him out) for a while, unless of course it's dangerous for me. They said leaving when he drinks is okay for me since it allows me to step away from the situation and I am less likely to try to control...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Wisdom for Today There are two kinds of fear in this world, healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Healthy fear tells you not to do something that will harm yourself, like grabbing onto live electrical wires. Unhealthy fear, on the other hand, distorts reason and distorts beliefs. Unhealthy fear can co...

Barbara · Barbara

and been having trouble for a long time. He's 42 but still lives at home, sometimes temporarily employed (seems to be when he feels like it). He wouldnt come to my house for Christmas last year so she drove herself and my mentally handicapped older brother 1.5hrs each way. They ended up getting lost. Th...

bobump · bobump

Well, I if you were in chat you know I kinda went off on my A this morning. I tried to make amends....well ya know what I didn't try. I did make amends. I said I was sorry, I explained that I my concern but that I shouldn't have acted like I did. Making sure I understood my lesson f...

kat4u · kat4u

Hi, everyone, I am not new to alanon. I came here 2 yrs ago, trying to cope with my substance and alcohol abusing brother. He at the time, was kicked out of his house, and was living in a homeless shelter, while the city cleaned up his home, that he had trashed to the point of it not being safe for a human to liv...

Powerless · Powerless

In more way than one. My husband took my two year old after I had left and after believing his lies once again and missing my baby terribly, I returned to him. I am back home. He is worse off than ever. Apparently he used my leaving as his excuse to really be out there. In th...

gardengal · gardengal

Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointments. Living with alcoholics many of us coped with an ever shifting situation in which our se...

kitty · kitty

Love is unconditional. It is free. There is no logic to it, it is a gift from God (or OF God). I did learn one thing... cuz I used to be real desperate for what I would get in return... I would give so much of myself, I would give all of myself & then look around, waiting &...

Barbara · Barbara

Who has read it and what did you think? Guess he doesnt believe in the 12 steps? And he thinks addiction is a choice not a disease? Have read that its a very emotional book.

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi roomies, I'm here decorating the tree and thinking how nice it will be to have my A sober and home for Chirstmas, he calls. His daughter whom he hasn't seen in a year called. He called back, and talked to the ex (who use to beat him) and she invited him for Christmas. I know how bad he wants to see the ki...

tea2 · tea2

Many here share on their past experiences - This is an ugly one, it would mean a lot to get off my chest. This was long before I was in any recovery. When I was younger I reconciled w/ my ex husband I was maybe 25-26, he had a temper he would like to party w/ the boys- a lot. Well one night I...

Evilynn · Evilynn

and I need to stick with it. He didn't have his part of the rent, he is only working two days a week at a bar, he was on a drinking binge (I went to my parents when he did that) and he is continually trying to make me feel guilty for having a car and an apartment. I let him borrow my car and broke my own rules again. I...

Kim · Kim

So, today was a better day. I got through it without many thoughts of my past week, my past 5 yrs...etc...no phone calls. Went to therapy. Came home prepared to relax. The anxiety had lifted somewhat. A called....he paid the electric bill today, just wanted to let me know. I said thank you...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Loving someone you don’t know anymore When Life gets tough, I tell myself this is definitely enough I am in pain; my world around me is spinning insane Love hurts as much as getting your finger slammed by the door, and so does loving someone you hardly know anymore &...

nycbt · nycbt

Yesterday was the first time since Aug I have been inmate with my husband. I thought that when I became inmate I wouldn't be strong any more. I have made alot of progress in the past month and I thought that being inmate might bring that down. It didn't I still feel strong.

WakingUp · WakingUp

That was the topic last night at my f2f meeting. It was a great topic and we all had a story to tell. As for me? Where's that roll of duct tape? My mouth just wants to give advice all the time.

abbyal · abbyal

Well that was great I thought about that today because I was talking with a person f2f and she was as confused as I was when someone said that to me. The first time I heard it I thought she meant " Sobriety " She said no dear thats HIS miracle Yours is fi...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

so my a had his second meeting with the addictions counsellor, who he will see again dec.20. huh? isnt that a little far away? forgive me but i dont see how this program will help. its an aadac relapse prevention program. but how is reading about it gonna stop another binge? i guess if my a wants to s...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Last night was our first night back to counseling. I thought our therapist was going to come out of her chair when listening for 45minutes about what we both want out of therapy. She said this is the same stuff you guys said three years ago!! So what is going to be the payoff in applying the sk...

bobump · bobump

Well the usuall. 14 yo sleeps thru her 2nd day in a row of school. 13 can't get up but by some HP makes the bus. The kicker is my 9 yo grunted and thrashed upon trying to get him up, when I finally made any progress. This is usually a sign of something bothering him. The last two times he acted like this some...

kitty · kitty

I will continue to do what I need to... to be closer to fulfilling the Divine Plan, to becoming the person I know I am inside. It is nice not to be critisized, to have the space & time to pray & sleep... which is all I did today. I have to learn to put myself first, it is difficul...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ruined sobriety redux (Preview) Hi, everyone. I really need some help. And a big pity party, sorry. Back in August I posted about my husband's abuse of Robitussin (after being clean and sober, at least I "think" so, for several years). Since then my life has been in a horrible downward spiral. I'd asked h...	phoebemoonpie	8	442	Dec 5, 2005 by Diva
	manipulations and boundaries (Preview) This weekend has been busy. Went out with friends Friday night, yesterday I got up and started cleaning/decorating for Christmas. It was hard and I knew it would be....going through our Christmas stuff, stockings with everyone's names on it (my A, my stepdaughter, my dog who passed in...	Kim	8	434	Dec 5, 2005 by notsonew1111
	Self Matters (Preview) I have been reasing the book SELF MATTERS by Dr. Phil. I have been doing the book work along with the step work. I have been having a very difficult time reliving things best forgotten. I am running through all of the feelings of abandonment. doubt, fear, confusion, hopelessness a...	Powerless	0	295	Dec 4, 2005 by Powerless
	I cry silently (Preview) Hi, I am living with an alcholic...I do not drink or smoke...I am in pain at least once or more times a week when he drinks...tonight I said the wrong thing...i am accused of everything. I cannot cry. It gets worse...it is all my fault, everything is...I am told...I am crying so deep and silently now...i...	alanon_2002	13	774	Dec 4, 2005 by alanon_2002
	Having issues getting on for a meeting (Preview) I was trying to get online for a meeting. I am not that clear on java, is there some way just to log online? Thanks	seashell	5	352	Dec 4, 2005 by seashell
	Good idea or asking for trouble? (Preview) I decided today to go back to school. I want to start next month by taking one or two classes at the local community college. I have two years of courses, but think I would like to get into psychiatric nursing. In fact, i have thought long and hard about this and know this is what I want t...	Powerless	3	391	Dec 4, 2005 by Flora123
	Look back for the month (Preview) In a month I have gotten real strong. I have learned that it is ok to say no. To stick to my guns and not give him back the key that I took from him. For not giving in an letting him drive the car by himself. I took the key because he is not in recovery and I am afaird that he is going to get a DWI and my car will be taken...	nycbt	5	364	Dec 4, 2005 by liza
	What next? (Preview) Well, I did it. I've wanted to for a long time but was too afraid of what might really happen. I told my A either you clean up or I'm leaving. I didn't mean it as a threat and I didn't mean to force him to do anything. The thing is, I just can't hang on anymore. If he isn't willing to get help, then he isn't, but a...	Jersey	2	378	Dec 4, 2005 by Diva
	So sad (Preview) I found a picture that my eight year old son drew yesterday. It was very violent. It showed a boy being stabbed by swords and axes. I asked him about it and he said he was just bored. When I showed it to my husband, my A, he thought it was funny and it was just a "boy" thing. I didn't think so and showed it to my p...	Michele	5	375	Dec 4, 2005 by leo
	Debilyn? (Preview) Has anyone heard from Debilyn? Debilyn, if you see this, sure would like to know if you're ok!! Love and lotsa TLC	TLC2	3	409	Dec 4, 2005 by search41
	the pendulum of program (Preview) I had an interesting thought that while maybe not original, really meant something to me tonday in my f2f. Two people shared about going back and forth on something. I've constantly found myself doing this and many times I'm comforted w/ esh that says not to be hard on myself, prog...	bobump	5	520	Dec 4, 2005 by pixel04
	The need for Boundries... (Preview) I was talking to someone today about drugs and alcohol use and how it affects both the user and the people around them. I was talking about how when one is in a drug/alcohol induced state they do not think about purposely hurting someone else but the fact is they don’t think at all. Their brain is like a fau...	sandie123	5	388	Dec 4, 2005 by seashell
	Nice 2 meet u (Preview) I just found this site and registered. I had been quite active at local meetings for over 7 years. Then I stopped the meetings, I moved, but still read my books daily. I think it is time to bring it back into my life more and focus on me. I just keep doing too much for others ...	seashell	10	444	Dec 4, 2005 by seashell
	Huge amount of resentment (Preview) I feel terrible, yet relieved. I was really missing my big kids today. they are still with their dad and do not want to return home as long as I live with my husband. He kept bothering me and asking me what was wrong. I told him that it's his fault the kids and I left to begin with an...	Powerless	2	436	Dec 4, 2005 by jrtjosey
	self will vs God's will (Preview) Last night my sponsor reminded me admitting powerlessness means letting go of self will so there is room for God's will to come in. I hear all the time in Alanon that you can't fill a cup that's already full. That Alanon helps us let go of a lot of the crap we bring in with us so that there's room for somethi...	pixel04	4	1453	Dec 3, 2005 by tiredtonite
	picowitch (Preview) Hiya Pico, Only me flumpy, just wondering how you are. I hope you are doing ok, and staying strong for yourself. Hope you come back to the room soon, coz I would really love to chat with you again. Stay strong for you and only you and be true to yourself.. All the flumpy love in the world, flump...	flumpy	2	381	Dec 3, 2005 by Flora123
	Sharing from the heart (Preview) hello all.... Hmmm I want to make this short and sweet.I went to a ftf yesterday,and one of the members there said something to me that stuck.She said that she is glad I go to the meetings because I add a kick to them.I haven't been going too often because I was sick.Anyways this member also said that she...	Lauren ashley	4	404	Dec 3, 2005 by Flora123
	Please someone help iam worn out (Preview) Hallo it has been along time since i visiteed this site.I have been in the programme for about 3 years and during this period i have felt alot of warmth and support from the members of the local groups that i regularly attended.At this very moment i feel very sad,frustrated lonely,and broken hea...	hopeful	7	568	Dec 3, 2005 by gardengal
	One A Parent's Love (Preview) It was just seven days ago that my A was under the influance of Meth., once again, It was hell living with the anger that gets triggered by the drug. He calls me terrible names and looks at me as if he would like me dead. His uncommunicative and all efforts to com...	bluecrow	5	404	Dec 3, 2005 by Maria123
	My letter to my A (Preview) Dear H I am thankful for being able to share the time I did with you. It was the most wonderful time of my life - always is. 8 years we have been "dancing" around what it would be to truly commit to a relationship to each other - and we finally got to experience it. It was beautiful, spec...	Cyn	9	455	Dec 3, 2005 by Karilynn
	Doing something for me tonight (Preview) I am walking out the door with no expectations - going to meet up with some old friends and meet some new friends while watching a club hockey game. Once again I will repeat it to myself - I wasnt the problem - drugs were the problem and I ended the relationship for my own health and sanity. This is goo...	Cyn	4	418	Dec 3, 2005 by notsonew1111
	uncle lou, where are you? (Preview) uncle lou, i hope your ok, havent seen you post in a while. hope you do soon.	notsonew1111	2	362	Dec 3, 2005 by UncleLou
	Thank you leo, DanaAngel, Dolphin123 (Preview) Thank you to each one of you, for responding to my post. You all helped me to feel a sense of belonging. Within the last few days, I have been going through a difficult time. It is difficult sometimes, and almost impossible for me to have a lot of self-disclosure, becau...	teddybear	3	353	Dec 2, 2005 by leo
	afraid I showed too much (Preview) Hi everybody. I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, but I have gone to a couple of f2f meetings. I've been feeling and doing pretty well. My a has been doing well. I think I was scared last time I posted because he was suppose to come by with his check and didn't show up -so I just k...	hudsond	6	607	Dec 2, 2005 by lin0606
	Holidays (Preview) Holidays are here. They are the toughest...i am usually alone, but for the past few yrs, I have been with Him...all of his family drinks....I am going out of town the Christmas week...we will be with his realtives..they ALL drink ...last yr. there was one person that did not. and of course the kids dont...	alanon_2002	3	345	Dec 2, 2005 by alanon_2002
	To parents - a good read (Preview) I read this wonderful book last night. It is by Jeanet Geringer Woititz, author of Adult Children of Alcoholics. The name of the book is "Marriage on the Rocks, Learning to Live with yourslef and an Alcoholic." The book is amazing. I felt like the author was sitting in the room talking one on one wit...	Jeannie	3	366	Dec 2, 2005 by txmom
	my son went to war (Preview) Hi Alanon Friends, I said goodbye yesterday to my oldest son who is in the military. He is going into combat for the third time and he is only 22 years old. He knows exactly what he is getting into and it was hard to watch him prepare to go. We helped him clear out his apartment. I brought his Christmas st...	nmike	12	683	Dec 2, 2005 by Karilynn
	then and now (Preview) I called my father yesterday, trying to get hold of my mother. She and I had been playing phone tag for several days. So yesterday I tried at 11 am - she wasn't answering at work. 2 pm - she wasn't at home, my father said. 6 pm (9pm their time), he tells me she never came home, she hasn't been home for 3 days, s...	pixel04	4	488	Dec 2, 2005 by Flora123
	said it better than I could ever (Preview) Hi Boarders- I am pasting in a wonderful comment by a member of a different board I post on. She so eloquently describes a good alanon attitude(and she is not talking about A!!). It really spoke to me. My A (currently inactive) and I were talking last nite and he was discussing possibly using ag... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>	gknee	2	479	Dec 2, 2005 by Emmie11
	I felt such freedom and hope (Preview) When I was gone, I felt such freedom, relief and hope. I also felt fear, lonely, alone, scared, angry, resentful, confused and befuddled. I relished the feeling of freedom and the suspense of not knowing what tomorrow would bring. I could ahve turned my life into anything I wanted to. I k...	Powerless	2	469	Dec 2, 2005 by TLC2
	Getting worse (Preview) Hi, Okay, my husband has been doing his IOP program. I am trying to stay out of his program, but I have some concerns about the family. He is so much worse instead of better. I realize this is normal. He has justified himslef that everything is my fault. But what else is new. He has justified that he sho...	Jeannie	7	449	Dec 2, 2005 by gknee
	just beginning, help (Preview) My a is a crack addict. He has a good job but I believe he blew it this week when he left monday night (it's thursday night) and hasn't been back since and never called into work. He's out doing drugs. he's found a new place where they sell the stuff right downstairs so he doesn't ever ha...	cabma	5	468	Dec 2, 2005 by cabma
	each day requires strength (Preview) This morning I awoke somewhat anxious. I had a busy day and had to interview about 5 people, but still my mind was buzzing again about my A. My first instinct was to call and lash out at him, but I set my sights on work and before I knew it I was in the throws of my day and my mind was off of it. He called this evenin...	Kim	4	489	Dec 2, 2005 by chrissy
	Denial - on my part (Preview) I know my ex is in denial - but so am I. Its been almost 2 weeks since I last spoke to him - and 2 weeks since I bottomed out wanting to end my life because the person I love couldnt handle being the nice person he always was to me - because he is an ADDICT. I took it personally - and in some ways still d...	Cyn	5	375	Dec 2, 2005 by sandie123
	in the depths of despair, i found a light (Preview) **You are reading from the book Touchstones </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=212>. In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. --Albert Camus** Sometimes we suddenly see or sense opposite emotions within ourselves. The cold of win...	rosie light shines	1	516	Dec 2, 2005 by kitty
	shooting the messenger (Preview) Sometimes being the bearer of the truth is just so hard -- they always shoot the messenger. Everyone asks for the truth but then they rip you to pieces over it... yes, the sword... I feel like I drag it around. I would never want to hurt anyone, I would hurt myself first. It is amaz...	kitty	3	491	Dec 2, 2005 by canadianguy
	im not so weak anymore... (Preview) hi guys, i came home from work today and was informed by my mom that my "a" (ex-boyfriend) had left his rehab after only 6 weeks...out of a 12 week programme i knew deep down he wouldnt last. when i saw him sunday he seemed detached like he knew what he was gonna do. hes in a homeless shelter now tonight i...	Rebecca	4	432	Dec 2, 2005 by notsonew1111
	WAHOO!! big lesson on detachment (Preview) Hope for Today - December 1 I've struggled long and hard in Al-Anon to understand the idea of detachment with love. At first, it sounded like an oxymoron. Detachment was the opposite of love, I thought. It seemed like abandoning the people I loved because of their alcoholism. Was I supposed to just s...	rosie light shines	1	398	Dec 2, 2005 by nmike
	I have to move back to Step 1 (Preview) I had a bad morning today... My one son gets up in the middle of the night continuously. He was the good sleeper, now it's the other one that doesn't give me trouble at night. The kids are not listening to me at all lately. Yes, they're two and tantrums and selective hearing is e...	twinmom2	4	488	Dec 1, 2005 by Tiger2006
	I went to a f2f meeting (Preview) And it felt real good. I even went before I went to work. They told me not to make any big decisions (like kicking him out) for a while, unless of course it's dangerous for me. They said leaving when he drinks is okay for me since it allows me to step away from the situation and I am less likely to try to control...	Evilynn	5	397	Dec 1, 2005 by Jeannie
	good fear....bad fear (Preview) Wisdom for Today There are two kinds of fear in this world, healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Healthy fear tells you not to do something that will harm yourself, like grabbing onto live electrical wires. Unhealthy fear, on the other hand, distorts reason and distorts beliefs. Unhealthy fear can co...	rosie light shines	2	399	Dec 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	My mom's having trouble with my alcoholic brother too (Preview) and been having trouble for a long time. He's 42 but still lives at home, sometimes temporarily employed (seems to be when he feels like it). He wouldnt come to my house for Christmas last year so she drove herself and my mentally handicapped older brother 1.5hrs each way. They ended up getting lost. Th...	Barbara	2	364	Dec 1, 2005 by Karilynn
	You'd think I have a new orifice, LOL (Preview) Well, I if you were in chat you know I kinda went off on my A this morning. I tried to make amends....well ya know what I didn't try. I did make amends. I said I was sorry, I explained that I my concern but that I shouldn't have acted like I did. Making sure I understood my lesson f...	bobump	7	545	Dec 1, 2005 by Christy
	Lost my brother, Michael (Preview) Hi, everyone, I am not new to alanon. I came here 2 yrs ago, trying to cope with my substance and alcohol abusing brother. He at the time, was kicked out of his house, and was living in a homeless shelter, while the city cleaned up his home, that he had trashed to the point of it not being safe for a human to liv...	kat4u	13	584	Dec 1, 2005 by TLC2
	I'm back... (Preview) In more way than one. My husband took my two year old after I had left and after believing his lies once again and missing my baby terribly, I returned to him. I am back home. He is worse off than ever. Apparently he used my leaving as his excuse to really be out there. In th...	Powerless	5	354	Dec 1, 2005 by Karilynn
	FACING REALITY (Preview) Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointments. Living with alcoholics many of us coped with an ever shifting situation in which our se...	gardengal	4	865	Dec 1, 2005 by nycbt
	what I have learned about LOVE (Preview) Love is unconditional. It is free. There is no logic to it, it is a gift from God (or OF God). I did learn one thing... cuz I used to be real desperate for what I would get in return... I would give so much of myself, I would give all of myself & then look around, waiting &...	kitty	5	417	Dec 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	A Million Little Pieces - James Frey (Preview) Who has read it and what did you think? Guess he doesnt believe in the 12 steps? And he thinks addiction is a choice not a disease? Have read that its a very emotional book.	Barbara	3	393	Dec 1, 2005 by Sallen
	A going to see is family (Preview) Hi roomies, I'm here decorating the tree and thinking how nice it will be to have my A sober and home for Chirstmas, he calls. His daughter whom he hasn't seen in a year called. He called back, and talked to the ex (who use to beat him) and she invited him for Christmas. I know how bad he wants to see the ki...	Karilynn	3	467	Dec 1, 2005 by BlueCloud
	letting it all go (Preview) Many here share on their past experiences - This is an ugly one, it would mean a lot to get off my chest. This was long before I was in any recovery. When I was younger I reconciled w/ my ex husband I was maybe 25-26, he had a temper he would like to party w/ the boys- a lot. Well one night I...	tea2	10	769	Dec 1, 2005 by tea2
	I told him he needs to leave by january (Preview) and I need to stick with it. He didn't have his part of the rent, he is only working two days a week at a bar, he was on a drinking binge (I went to my parents when he did that) and he is continually trying to make me feel guilty for having a car and an apartment. I let him borrow my car and broke my own rules again. I...	Evilynn	4	367	Dec 1, 2005 by captcodee
	Better day (Preview) So, today was a better day. I got through it without many thoughts of my past week, my past 5 yrs...etc...no phone calls. Went to therapy. Came home prepared to relax. The anxiety had lifted somewhat. A called....he paid the electric bill today, just wanted to let me know. I said thank you...	Kim	5	399	Dec 1, 2005 by nycbt
	How do you love somebody you hardly know? (Preview) Loving someone you don’t know anymore When Life gets tough, I tell myself this is definitely enough I am in pain; my world around me is spinning insane Love hurts as much as getting your finger slammed by the door, and so does loving someone you hardly know anymore &...	Lauren ashley	6	396	Dec 1, 2005 by nycbt
	i am still strong (Preview) Yesterday was the first time since Aug I have been inmate with my husband. I thought that when I became inmate I wouldn't be strong any more. I have made alot of progress in the past month and I thought that being inmate might bring that down. It didn't I still feel strong.	nycbt	1	359	Dec 1, 2005 by marmare
	Minding Our Own Business (Preview) That was the topic last night at my f2f meeting. It was a great topic and we all had a story to tell. As for me? Where's that roll of duct tape? My mouth just wants to give advice all the time.	WakingUp	8	446	Dec 1, 2005 by leo
	yesssssssssss (Preview) Well that was great I thought about that today because I was talking with a person f2f and she was as confused as I was when someone said that to me. The first time I heard it I thought she meant " Sobriety " She said no dear thats HIS miracle Yours is fi...	abbyal	2	448	Dec 1, 2005 by cdb
	dont know what to think (Preview) so my a had his second meeting with the addictions counsellor, who he will see again dec.20. huh? isnt that a little far away? forgive me but i dont see how this program will help. its an aadac relapse prevention program. but how is reading about it gonna stop another binge? i guess if my a wants to s...	notsonew1111	4	388	Dec 1, 2005 by cdb
	Back in therapy (Preview) Last night was our first night back to counseling. I thought our therapist was going to come out of her chair when listening for 45minutes about what we both want out of therapy. She said this is the same stuff you guys said three years ago!! So what is going to be the payoff in applying the sk...	twinmom2	2	375	Dec 1, 2005 by cdb
	I was sooo not program this morning. :/ (Preview) Well the usuall. 14 yo sleeps thru her 2nd day in a row of school. 13 can't get up but by some HP makes the bus. The kicker is my 9 yo grunted and thrashed upon trying to get him up, when I finally made any progress. This is usually a sign of something bothering him. The last two times he acted like this some...	bobump	4	361	Dec 1, 2005 by cdb
	more forgiveness work - I need me! (Preview) I will continue to do what I need to... to be closer to fulfilling the Divine Plan, to becoming the person I know I am inside. It is nice not to be critisized, to have the space & time to pray & sleep... which is all I did today. I have to learn to put myself first, it is difficul...	kitty	4	369	Nov 30, 2005 by alanon_2002
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.