Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- I hope you are all are warm and comfortable... the temp in my corner of the world is currently a balmy -7 Fahrenheit:) Todays reading is a focus on our saying about the three Cs: I didnt cause it, I cant control it, and I cant cure it. I have always appreciated the message of this sayi...

Lyne · Lyne

Let go and let God: Today's reading talks about the empowerment we can truly feel, when we accept that we are powerless over the alcoholic and all her problems. The writer understood that his alcoholic had her own Higher Power, and that HP and the A could work out her life circumstances. The writer...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Very long 72 hours, there have been lots of arguments, crying, and tantrums (oddly enough not from me!!). I sure did pull from my tool box and really tried to focus on the fact we didn't know anything until Thursday. At the moment my kid has lost adult status. I do not believe that just because someone...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is a truism that keeps coming back to me in cycles throughout my recovery. I get so caught up in what is going on around me in my job, personal life and other areas (mostly job these days), that I forget none of my hardships are really things being done "to" me so that I can suffer. None of my challenge...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hi!! and belated Happy New Year!!! Well I began the new year with the flu...congestion/infected sinuses and chest...I was thrashed.....Feeling a bit better each day, but its slow... I could complain, feel like the victim, feel like "oh another bad year" but EVERYONE I know has either gotten it or...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi friends, I wanted to ask your ESH about making decisions early on in recovery. I know that it is advised not to make major decisions during the first 6 months of recovery. Unfortunately, I don't think I am going to get that choice. I am going to have to make some decisions, because my husband has bee...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Sitting with something that happened. I thought I would share, see what I get back... So last Friday evening, my spouse called me at work from rehab. I did not answer as I can't while I am at work. The message was that he got some official kind of document and he had all these questions about what it was. He a...

nyan23 · nyan23

Hi guys, I've been reading the step one to al anon. I fully agree that alcoholism is a disease, has affected me and my family in many ways which are negative and that I cannot control or change my A. However, I'm struggling with the higher power bit. When I was young I went extremely spiritual and after...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 6.reminds us that attending Al-Anon meetings helps us to see that we are not alone and that others have problems that are equally as difficult. When we begin to realize that others have problems more difficult than our own, and are facing them with courage and confiden...

kayS · kayS

My husband is an addict (alcohol and opiates). He's yet to truly go into recovery. He's trying - has some white knuckle periods - but nothing too much more than that. I've been in regular individual therapy regarding this for approx. 3 years now. We've discussed couple's therapy - he and I. I k...

Twinkies · Twinkies

Hello everyone - been reading lots of posts from lots of people on lots of forums lately. You all seem like such a warm and welcoming group that I thought Iâd jump in and introduce myself. Iâm still pretty new to practicing the mindset that Alanon prescribes but I can already tell a difference in my life....

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Hoot Nanny ~*Service Worker*~ Status: OfflinePosts: 1425Date: 2h agoIP: 199.253.26.6she's in jail again plus 32 years in al anonPermalink Reply Quote More I am again posting that my mom is in jail. Maybe I didn't post this before it has been a...

Lindajean · Lindajean

I have not posted in awhile but need to vent. I am very familiar with the Alanon program and try my best to work it. However, My anger and resentment are taking a major hold on me. My 54 year old alcoholic sister is living with my 80 year old mother. I live next door to my mother and witness so much enabling and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses compassion, enabling and motives. The writer thought it was defined by making excuses for the alcoholic or covering for them when bad choices were made. We learn that this is enabling instead of compassion and that when we clean up the consequences of alcoholic behavio...

Twinkies · Twinkies

Just got a message from our cell provider that my AH is tracking my phone! What in the actual heck?! Iâm totally thrown by this. First, he has zero reason to suspect me of cheating. ZERO. Iâm an all-in kind of woman. When I made my commitment to him, that was it. Unless divorce or death divides us, there wil...

Buff · Buff

Hi everyone I'm new here. I'm very much at the start of trying to get some help and support as I feel we are getting to be in crises. My oldest son is alcohol dependant, he is 21, I would say this has been the case for 3 years. He has a good job and to most functions very well. He drinks every day, whatever he can g...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

My AH has been back in the house now almost two months. But I have no idea who this man is anymore. For a brief time when he first came back he made an honest effort to try to and stay sober ( a lot like a child after grounding them for a messy room and they attempt to keep it clean!) Of course it didn't last long. A...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Going to start with the daily reminder --- Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life. The quote for the day --- from T...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, We've had a lady on our property a couple years. She moved here to get away from her environment and get help. She was found unresponsive before she decided to get away from the area she was in. The conditions for her living here were to make recovery meetings of whatever she chose. (This was part...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This has now become an inside joke with some friends and I. It's now my new catch phrase. Something that made me laugh is talking to my gentleman fellow coffee groupie is exchanging stories at the moment about kids. Hearing the phrase "I got this" seems to have a similar effect on those of us with kids...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi, a while ago I asked my AH to leave and stay with his parents as me and my children didn't feel comfortable with him being there. Not only is he an alcoholic but also a cocaine addict. Things had become abusive and I didn't want my children in that atmosphere. AH has been to rehab and has been supposedly c...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP, and Happy Wednesday! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about making little change each and every day. The author shares that they are writing their life story every single today, and asks "Am I moving in a positive direction?" The author knows that there is nothing we can do to chang...

CarlyH · CarlyH

After months of hardly any contact and then avoiding me, living with someone else it looks like I might finally get some closure. Iâve looked at my own behaviour a lot whilst Iâve been away from them. Iâve held back on my love a lot when theyâve started drinking. Pushed them away. Thereâs been too ma...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband is in rehab now... I can't contact him. Feeling strangely numb. Feeling sad. But also relieved. I feel safer and more comfortable in my home now.

Twinkies · Twinkies

6 days is such a short amount of time, but itâs the longest I can remember AH not drinking. Way too soon to even consider that it might be the start of a new normal. Heâs still acting oddly - thereâs a wall between us, but this time itâs a wall he put up, not one of my own making, not one I put up to try to shield mys...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! With the New Year, I am beginning to post a Step a month for this year. So in light of this Step one and has been posted...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

We're doing out best to try to stay present now that things are winding down after Christmas. At least this year we didn't hear any bombshell news on the holiday. Every year seems to be pretty much the same. A visit from his kids and then limited communication, getting together until Father's day. They...

Twinkies · Twinkies

The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...

Lyne · Lyne

Recovery is a process: The reading today speaks about how there are so many instant things in our society that we might expect recovery to be "instant" as well. However that is not so. It takes time & patience to heal, change , and trust. We need to stop expecting instant relief, and accept that...

Scared1993 · Scared1993

My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She t...

im-just-tired · im-just-tired

what do i do when my dad comes home drunk? I'm never sure anymore. I've tried ignoring it, avoiding it, confronting it, and pretending I don't notice it. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens frequently enough and sometimes it can be really bad. He drives home a lot. I can't always be sure how much...

Scared1993 · Scared1993

My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be to be, And oh, to lose. A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing, a holy thing to love. For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me. To remember this brings painful joy. Tis a h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is something I haven't openly shared a lot and I'm not sure how to, I have tried some support groups and let me tell you how that worked out .. LOL .. it's not Alanon. My daughter has informed me that she's choosing to transition into a man, and I'm trying to swallow a gay trans man .. let me explain. I h...

Aline · Aline

Thanks for being part - one of the best - of my year! I'm grateful for all your ESH, support and acceptance. May the next year bring more healing and hope to all!

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the great relief many of us felt immediately when coming into the program. Some have described it like being washed up on the shore, or being lifted up after exhaustion , or like the writer- having a thirst quenched. For me, having the methodical side th...

Overcome · Overcome

An impromptu meeting is now going on in the chat room. Anyone wishing to join, the topic is "A spiritual experience brought on by nature. (or any other al-anon topic that you wish to share on)" the topic is taken from the CAL book" Having had a spiritual awakening".

Tigger · Tigger

Hi Friends, It is a while since I posted anything, but I feel the need to share this significant event. The sudden and unexpected death of my primary A, my father. We just had his funeral, so this is a tough Christmas for my family. There is a lot of sadness in me and I'm taking each hour at a time during this t...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a peaceful Christmas and I wish you all a happy new year. For anyone who's been reading my post, you will know that I split up with my alcoholic partner about 5 months ago and he died 3 months later. Christmas was hard as I was expecting, I kept it as simple as possible for mysel...

Shane · Shane

I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...

nyan23 · nyan23

I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...

CarlyH · CarlyH

Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...

Chels · Chels

Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....

Steph79 · Steph79

So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...

Elabella · Elabella

I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...

Mokka · Mokka

In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...

el-cee · el-cee

Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Jan 7 Hope for Today (Preview) Good morning everyone- I hope you are all are warm and comfortable... the temp in my corner of the world is currently a balmy -7 Fahrenheit:) Todays reading is a focus on our saying about the three Cs: I didnt cause it, I cant control it, and I cant cure it. I have always appreciated the message of this sayi...	yanksfan51	9	741	Jan 8, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 1/8 (Preview) Let go and let God: Today's reading talks about the empowerment we can truly feel, when we accept that we are powerless over the alcoholic and all her problems. The writer understood that his alcoholic had her own Higher Power, and that HP and the A could work out her life circumstances. The writer...	Lyne	6	548	Jan 8, 2018 by Aline
	Parenting 101 (Preview) Very long 72 hours, there have been lots of arguments, crying, and tantrums (oddly enough not from me!!). I sure did pull from my tool box and really tried to focus on the fact we didn't know anything until Thursday. At the moment my kid has lost adult status. I do not believe that just because someone...	SerenityRUS	11	594	Jan 8, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	It's not being done "to" me (Preview) This is a truism that keeps coming back to me in cycles throughout my recovery. I get so caught up in what is going on around me in my job, personal life and other areas (mostly job these days), that I forget none of my hardships are really things being done "to" me so that I can suffer. None of my challenge...	pinkchip	29	6562	Jan 8, 2018 by milkwood
	I'm here----been sick (Preview) Hi!! and belated Happy New Year!!! Well I began the new year with the flu...congestion/infected sinuses and chest...I was thrashed.....Feeling a bit better each day, but its slow... I could complain, feel like the victim, feel like "oh another bad year" but EVERYONE I know has either gotten it or...	mamalioness	3	515	Jan 7, 2018 by Jerry F
	Making decisions? (Preview) Hi friends, I wanted to ask your ESH about making decisions early on in recovery. I know that it is advised not to make major decisions during the first 6 months of recovery. Unfortunately, I don't think I am going to get that choice. I am going to have to make some decisions, because my husband has bee...	AnnieFenk321	7	765	Jan 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	1 step forward, 2 steps back (Preview) Sitting with something that happened. I thought I would share, see what I get back... So last Friday evening, my spouse called me at work from rehab. I did not answer as I can't while I am at work. The message was that he got some official kind of document and he had all these questions about what it was. He a...	PosiesandPuppies	11	634	Jan 7, 2018 by Maresie
	struggling with 'higher power' (Preview) Hi guys, I've been reading the step one to al anon. I fully agree that alcoholism is a disease, has affected me and my family in many ways which are negative and that I cannot control or change my A. However, I'm struggling with the higher power bit. When I was young I went extremely spiritual and after...	nyan23	26	3105	Jan 7, 2018 by Maresie
	ODAT Reading 1-6-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 6.reminds us that attending Al-Anon meetings helps us to see that we are not alone and that others have problems that are equally as difficult. When we begin to realize that others have problems more difficult than our own, and are facing them with courage and confiden...	hotrod	3	674	Jan 6, 2018 by Tigger
	when to try couples counseling (Preview) My husband is an addict (alcohol and opiates). He's yet to truly go into recovery. He's trying - has some white knuckle periods - but nothing too much more than that. I've been in regular individual therapy regarding this for approx. 3 years now. We've discussed couple's therapy - he and I. I k...	kayS	14	3006	Jan 6, 2018 by Lil99
	Newbie introduction (Preview) Hello everyone - been reading lots of posts from lots of people on lots of forums lately. You all seem like such a warm and welcoming group that I thought Iâd jump in and introduce myself. Iâm still pretty new to practicing the mindset that Alanon prescribes but I can already tell a difference in my life....	Twinkies	13	3097	Jan 5, 2018 by Jen61
	Post moved from the Business section Posting from Hoot Nanny (Preview) Page 1 of 1 sorted by Oldest FirstNewest First Hoot Nanny ~Service Worker~ Status: OfflinePosts: 1425Date: 2h agoIP: 199.253.26.6she's in jail again plus 32 years in al anonPermalink Reply Quote More I am again posting that my mom is in jail. Maybe I didn't post this before it has been a...	hotrod	3	495	Jan 5, 2018 by Jerry F
	Anger and resentment (Preview) I have not posted in awhile but need to vent. I am very familiar with the Alanon program and try my best to work it. However, My anger and resentment are taking a major hold on me. My 54 year old alcoholic sister is living with my 80 year old mother. I live next door to my mother and witness so much enabling and...	Lindajean	7	925	Jan 5, 2018 by Tude
	Courage to Change 1/5/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses compassion, enabling and motives. The writer thought it was defined by making excuses for the alcoholic or covering for them when bad choices were made. We learn that this is enabling instead of compassion and that when we clean up the consequences of alcoholic behavio...	Iamhere	4	495	Jan 5, 2018 by hotrod
	Not sure what to make of this (Preview) Just got a message from our cell provider that my AH is tracking my phone! What in the actual heck?! Iâm totally thrown by this. First, he has zero reason to suspect me of cheating. ZERO. Iâm an all-in kind of woman. When I made my commitment to him, that was it. Unless divorce or death divides us, there wil...	Twinkies	7	531	Jan 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hi, in new (Preview) Hi everyone I'm new here. I'm very much at the start of trying to get some help and support as I feel we are getting to be in crises. My oldest son is alcohol dependant, he is 21, I would say this has been the case for 3 years. He has a good job and to most functions very well. He drinks every day, whatever he can g...	Buff	7	776	Jan 4, 2018 by Tigger
	and again.......... (Preview) My AH has been back in the house now almost two months. But I have no idea who this man is anymore. For a brief time when he first came back he made an honest effort to try to and stay sober ( a lot like a child after grounding them for a messy room and they attempt to keep it clean!) Of course it didn't last long. A...	Curlyblu	3	1762	Jan 4, 2018 by Takotsubo
	Courage to Change 1/4/18 (Preview) Going to start with the daily reminder --- Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life. The quote for the day --- from T...	Iamhere	4	525	Jan 4, 2018 by Lyne
	Boundary help? (Preview) Hi all, We've had a lady on our property a couple years. She moved here to get away from her environment and get help. She was found unresponsive before she decided to get away from the area she was in. The conditions for her living here were to make recovery meetings of whatever she chose. (This was part...	Tude	4	551	Jan 4, 2018 by Tude
	I got this .. (Preview) This has now become an inside joke with some friends and I. It's now my new catch phrase. Something that made me laugh is talking to my gentleman fellow coffee groupie is exchanging stories at the moment about kids. Hearing the phrase "I got this" seems to have a similar effect on those of us with kids...	SerenityRUS	6	570	Jan 3, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Am I in the wrong? (Preview) Hi, a while ago I asked my AH to leave and stay with his parents as me and my children didn't feel comfortable with him being there. Not only is he an alcoholic but also a cocaine addict. Things had become abusive and I didn't want my children in that atmosphere. AH has been to rehab and has been supposedly c...	allywoo	7	549	Jan 3, 2018 by Tude
	Courage to Change January 3 (Preview) Hello MIP, and Happy Wednesday! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about making little change each and every day. The author shares that they are writing their life story every single today, and asks "Am I moving in a positive direction?" The author knows that there is nothing we can do to chang...	Skorpi	7	931	Jan 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	End of relationship - closure (Preview) After months of hardly any contact and then avoiding me, living with someone else it looks like I might finally get some closure. Iâve looked at my own behaviour a lot whilst Iâve been away from them. Iâve held back on my love a lot when theyâve started drinking. Pushed them away. Thereâs been too ma...	CarlyH	3	498	Jan 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	husband checked into rehab today (Preview) My husband is in rehab now... I can't contact him. Feeling strangely numb. Feeling sad. But also relieved. I feel safer and more comfortable in my home now.	AnnieFenk321	5	531	Jan 3, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	6 days, no alcohol (Preview) 6 days is such a short amount of time, but itâs the longest I can remember AH not drinking. Way too soon to even consider that it might be the start of a new normal. Heâs still acting oddly - thereâs a wall between us, but this time itâs a wall he put up, not one of my own making, not one I put up to try to shield mys...	Twinkies	2	503	Jan 3, 2018 by KT2015
	Step one (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! With the New Year, I am beginning to post a Step a month for this year. So in light of this Step one and has been posted...	hotrod	4	620	Jan 3, 2018 by Freetime
	Post Holiday Blues (Preview) We're doing out best to try to stay present now that things are winding down after Christmas. At least this year we didn't hear any bombshell news on the holiday. Every year seems to be pretty much the same. A visit from his kids and then limited communication, getting together until Father's day. They...	tiredtonite	8	622	Jan 3, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Sober can be scary too (Preview) The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...	Twinkies	4	827	Jan 3, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Discuss with me 'Jeckyl and Hyde" (Preview) My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...	andromeda	14	3009	Jan 2, 2018 by LinSC
	Al ANON HELP FOR SEVERE ANXIETY (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...	Charlotte22	16	4286	Jan 2, 2018 by SoggySlippers
	ODAT Reading 1-2-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...	hotrod	5	2282	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	About Guilt (Preview) I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...	PosiesandPuppies	12	3289	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	Lost my alcoholic husband this past spring. (Preview) Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...	Bloodshotbetty	11	2503	Jan 1, 2018 by Bloodshotbetty
	C2C, 1/1 (Preview) Recovery is a process: The reading today speaks about how there are so many instant things in our society that we might expect recovery to be "instant" as well. However that is not so. It takes time & patience to heal, change , and trust. We need to stop expecting instant relief, and accept that...	Lyne	5	2044	Jan 1, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	My daughter (Preview) My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...	Scared1993	2	1637	Jan 1, 2018 by Lyne
	update on our situation (Preview) Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She t...	AnnieFenk321	4	2161	Jan 1, 2018 by Freetime
	Drunk Dads who come home Drunk father dad drunk driving unacceptable behaviour consequences help (Preview) what do i do when my dad comes home drunk? I'm never sure anymore. I've tried ignoring it, avoiding it, confronting it, and pretending I don't notice it. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens frequently enough and sometimes it can be really bad. He drives home a lot. I can't always be sure how much...	im-just-tired	4	4133	Jan 1, 2018 by nyan23
	My daughter (Preview) My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...	Scared1993	1	1955	Jan 1, 2018 by AnnieFenk321
	Poem about grief and loss (Tis a fearful thing) (Preview) Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be to be, And oh, to lose. A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing, a holy thing to love. For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me. To remember this brings painful joy. Tis a h...	SerenityRUS	8	2381	Dec 31, 2017 by tiredtonite
	News, news and news .. (Preview) This is something I haven't openly shared a lot and I'm not sure how to, I have tried some support groups and let me tell you how that worked out .. LOL .. it's not Alanon. My daughter has informed me that she's choosing to transition into a man, and I'm trying to swallow a gay trans man .. let me explain. I h...	SerenityRUS	14	2296	Dec 31, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Thank you! (Preview) Thanks for being part - one of the best - of my year! I'm grateful for all your ESH, support and acceptance. May the next year bring more healing and hope to all!	Aline	5	542	Dec 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Dec 31 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the great relief many of us felt immediately when coming into the program. Some have described it like being washed up on the shore, or being lifted up after exhaustion , or like the writer- having a thirst quenched. For me, having the methodical side th...	yanksfan51	5	541	Dec 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sunday Morning Meeting (Preview) An impromptu meeting is now going on in the chat room. Anyone wishing to join, the topic is "A spiritual experience brought on by nature. (or any other al-anon topic that you wish to share on)" the topic is taken from the CAL book" Having had a spiritual awakening".	Overcome	3	2145	Dec 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Grieving the loss of my A this Christmas (Preview) Hi Friends, It is a while since I posted anything, but I feel the need to share this significant event. The sudden and unexpected death of my primary A, my father. We just had his funeral, so this is a tough Christmas for my family. There is a lot of sadness in me and I'm taking each hour at a time during this t...	Tigger	24	2108	Dec 30, 2017 by Tigger
	Anyone else struggle with peace and quiet when the alcoholic is gone? (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you all had a peaceful Christmas and I wish you all a happy new year. For anyone who's been reading my post, you will know that I split up with my alcoholic partner about 5 months ago and he died 3 months later. Christmas was hard as I was expecting, I kept it as simple as possible for mysel...	Sorcha	4	859	Dec 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	New and lost (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...	Shane	15	1630	Dec 30, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Frustrated (Preview) I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...	nyan23	4	549	Dec 30, 2017 by Maresie
	When They Blame You (Preview) After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...	SoggySlippers	15	2420	Dec 30, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C Reading for 12-30-2017 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...	hotrod	4	2519	Dec 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Feeling sad... was I a trigger (Preview) Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...	CarlyH	9	3152	Dec 29, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/29/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...	Iamhere	7	1999	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/28/17 (Preview) The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...	Iamhere	15	2676	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	When an addict pretends to be clean (Preview) Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...	allywoo	11	2240	Dec 29, 2017 by newnoz
	New and Overwhelmed (Preview) Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....	Chels	8	4218	Dec 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	What's best for the kid? (Preview) So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...	Steph79	10	2325	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm losing my mind and turning into a monster... (Preview) I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...	Elabella	17	5723	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm full .. (Preview) I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...	SerenityRUS	12	2126	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Tired of it all (Preview) In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...	Mokka	8	2166	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Confusion and crisis (Preview) Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...	el-cee	12	3553	Dec 28, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Courage to Change December 27 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...	Skorpi	6	916	Dec 28, 2017 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.