Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Shane · Shane

I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...

nyan23 · nyan23

I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...

CarlyH · CarlyH

Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...

Chels · Chels

Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....

Steph79 · Steph79

So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...

Elabella · Elabella

I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...

Mokka · Mokka

In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...

el-cee · el-cee

Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...

Grace R · Grace R

Hi all and holiday blessings. I always have trouble finding it here. If any service members see this message please tell me how to find it so i can participate. Thanks v much

Support for a New Member?.. · FckdByKarma

So... Iâve come to realize that Iâm dating an alcoholic. The main problem? He doesnât think he has a problem so no changes are being made.. like someone else mentioned, itâs exactly like dating Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I think the worst part about it is that he doesnât even see it.. just treats me like a dic...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

My spouse's nephew has hosted Xmas Eve for the last 5 years since this side of the family couldn't bear to get together on Xmas Day (since his mother died on Christmas Day). It is a wonderful get together... great food & watching the young kids open presents is so fun! However, with all that was going...

joker · joker

Here it is Christmas eve, and I woke up, to quite. Blessed quite. No craziness! I am feeling so blessed! The alcoholic is god knows where. I assume with his ex-wife he said over and over again he is getting back with. She can have your drunkenness and insanity! She can handle it, she must be supper woman, I...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

Recently,at a meeting,I didn't finish my share and I decided to continue it here,and I hope that's ok.I think what I need is ESH to help myself work through this rather than just "tyfs" anyway. I have been struggling with forgiveness lately.Since my AH overdosed last month I have been holding a grudg...

MizzB · MizzB

He's come home drunk. Having been in a fight. He's pretty beaten up - should probably go to hospital but he's aggressive with me and has gone to bed so not my problem. I've messaged him saying we need to break up. I feel bad having to message but in the last week I haven't seen him sober so it's my only way of co...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Yesterday was a great day for me...Talked on phone w/my kids and other loved ones including my A brother Apparently his bad arthritis is not so bad, originally he tells me docs want him on a rowing machine to help make him better, which was odd to me, and I also know that when he thinks he is in "deep doo doo"...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yup. My phone rang tonight around 5:30, but I didn't recognize the number, and I was in the middle of Christmas dinner with my family, so I did not pick up. Later when it was quiet, I listened to the voicemail. RAH sounded good, but oddly wished me and my son a "Merry Christmas." What part of this Christmas...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for December 26 speaks about the slogan, " let go and let God". It points out that many people think the slogan suggests that we do not take any action but simply sit back and let God do the work .Actually the true meaning of the slogan indicates that we must use our own good sense pray on...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Merry Christmas Family...didn't see an earlier greeting so here is one from the Big Island of Hawaii. It is cool and not cold...Mahalo Akua (Thank You HP) for that cause I don't do cold and there is no alcoholism wandering around bumping into my life like there use to be. Now it is doves outside the w...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this is kind of late in posting b/c I hadn't planned on sharing this... but the more I thought about it and read posts here on the MIP board, I thought that this ESH could help someone else... I had shared earlier about a letter from my spouse's rehab facility inviting family members to come visit their...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I will start by saying since leaving my exAH I have done the work and am no longer enabling addicts. I am happy and life is good. Every Christmas I cycle and just find myself sobbing at some point thinking about all the miserable years of my childhood and 15 years with my exAH. I come back out of it and feel ok...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

We spent the weekend apart, I went to visit some friends in a town where we used to live. While I was away I missed him. I thought that there would be quiet and peace and I would be so relieved to be finally away from him, but I missed him, and when I came back I felt so warm towards him. I still want him to enter tr...

luv123 · luv123

This disease is cunning and baffling & "too much for most of us without such spiritual help". I am ever grateful to the long time members who have shared many tools (spiritual help) with me that they find handy during family gatherings where there has been a history of stressful or difficult situa...

Lyne · Lyne

Silence: The reading points out that alanon teaches us to hold our tongue and and wait to react, yet it says that we can also use silence as a weapon. It can be used to punish and can actually be more harsh than cruel words. And if you are hurting someone else, you are essentially hurting yourself. Our...

Lisa gold · Lisa gold

Hi everyone! I am knew here. I have a brother who is an alcoholic. He is 26 around the age of 18 he started drinking and smoking weed. For as long as I could remember my parents sole focus is on him. I don't remember the last conversation I had with my parents that didn't involve his drinking. He has been to 9 r...

hotrod · hotrod

Posting for Looking up who is experiencing computer problems The ODAT reading for December 23 focuses on the need for "" perfectionism".. The reading points out that clinging to our unrealistic ideas of what life. should be prevents us from grasping the important concepts of acceptance and deta...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about the Steps -their strength and importance in our recovery. This reading is particularly resonant with me for two reasons. I recently decided, with my sponsors support and guidance, to work the steps again. I am a musician and in some ways working the s...

andromeda · andromeda

Hello everyone! Hope you all are well. I've been unemployed now for a month and I have finally gotten a chance to slow down, read, journal more, get back into my steps, and work on some self reflection. I've come to realize that I was doing a lot of projecting in my relationship. I got very good at poin...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I came into these MIP groups six years ago... I used the steps board to cover the Alanon Steps and one other. I learned carefully how and why this MIP board was set up and met the creator John F. For me these message boards and chat rooms are full of hope. I was so hungry for hope. I woul...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

Short version Active alcoholic manipulated a situation to get his way and make me look like a b if I said anything. I'm having a really hard time letting this go. Looking for some words of wisdom. Long version Went out for my (a) husbands birthday with his parents. I left the table for a minute and whe...

serenity47 · serenity47

Christmas has always been very important to me and I used to love the season. Not so much anymore. Until addiction entered my life I don't think I was really grateful for the moments of peace that I am able to have on occasion. I used to take it all for granted. I have no plans this year, I have changed my...

2HP · 2HP

In one of my groups, we held a group conscience to discuss interrupting members (gently of course) if their share was becoming too focused on the alcoholic. They wished to include in our opening remarks that "In Al-anon, we share our own ESH while keeping the focus on ourselves and how the program is h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have finally started to feel semi normal in terms of health. The last 3 weeks have been pretty brutal. I still am having a bout of something however nothing that the original antibiotics has not taken care of, the coughing was the worst and now it seems I have some weird intestinal thing going on and o...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

As soon as I woke up this morning I started thinking "Let it begin with me". I don't know why though because I wasn't consciously thinking it.And that thought has been repeating over and over in my mind since then.I even felt the urge(nudge?) to search online and do some reading on it.I also felt an urge...

Cjm42 · Cjm42

My AH is coming up on (maybe) 3 months sober, but he came home tonight and I suspect heâs been drinking. I think I smell it, under a lot of minty gum. Heâs acting just a little off. I hate this feeling of distrust, worry, anger (for maybe being lied to), guilt (for maybe being wrong in my suspicion). I have a b...

Lyne · Lyne

Sometimes I just shake my head at myself because there are days and activities I just find hard to do and/or don't want to do. Today I will be taking care of my sick granddaughter knowing full well I may get sick too. Earlier this week I went to the dentist and had another medical check up the very next day...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about Steps Eight and Nine and the top person who should be on our list for amends. That person is self - have I harmed myself? The writer suggests that putting herself first had not occurred to her and that somewhere in her past, she got the message that to think of self first was w...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP, happy Wednesday! Today's reading is about the 5th tradition: "Each Al-Anon family group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics." The author goes on to consider how it is that Al-Anon helps families of alcoholics and explains that we must first learn to love ourselves, the...

Carla61 · Carla61

Not sure how to deal with this. Hes crying and says he doesn't want to live anymore and hes so sorry that i didnt deserve this. What can i say or do for him?

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

I just wanted to check in. We are planning to separate at the end of the month. It is taking us that long to get other arrangements in place for childcare and living. He is going to check out a treatment center today and will most likely move in there. It's like a rehab and sober living facility rolled int...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the ODAT is an inspiring reminder of how little time practicing program takes in comparison to the number of hours we have in a week.The reading goes on to explain that we spend many disturbing hours filled with painful experiences and unfulfilled needs and that there are ways to o...

joker · joker

I have been working hard on recovery! face to face al-anon meetings, journaling, therapy. Its been so hard work. I have been drained so much. I have been reading about alcoholism on line and read that alcoholics can go into psychosis. Its called alcohol indused psychosis and it stops once the alcohol...

NCJo · NCJo

My AB has been sober for 6 months. He completed rehab and had been going to meetings regularly. He has been doing so well and takes his sobriety very seriously. Last night we went to a dinner party and he ate about 3 bites of his tiramisu and sensed there was some alcohol in it. He immediately stopped eati...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

In the mirror today...I saw my Mom.How did I become her? As a child I swore to myself I would never go through or put up with all the things she did.I swore I would never act like she did too,so obsessed with my Dad and his drinking that nothing else mattered and nobody else existed.She was always so misera...

Lyne · Lyne

Interesting Concepts: The reading for today talks about doing our part in Alanon, and not expecting HP to do what we can do for ourselves . It goes on to say that The Twelve Steps define what are our responsibilities and those we can turn over to God. It is suggested that we start each day with confiden...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hi MIP family! I have been pretty quiet here for some time, as I am having a hard time keeping up with all the responsibilities of running a single-parent household - you all know the drill! However, I read every night before I go to sleep (to keep me grounded), and I appreciate everyone's shares. Just la...

mamalioness · mamalioness

All my life I have had to be tough..the tough gal who wouldn't let the rager and the pervert destroy her...If I fell down, I would grit my teeth, wipe the blood off and get back up on my bike or my horse, whatever the vehicle it was that tossed me.... It wasn't and isn't the way I want to be..Yea, tough when nec...

nycwriter · nycwriter

Good evening....I hope I can get some insight from this group. Three months ago, I met a woman and fell very hard for her and she felt the same way. She is a recovering alcoholic and she's been sober for 18 years. I completely supported and so admired the things she had gone through, the strength she had to...

misterpiko · misterpiko

Hi all, so I am living with my 24 year old alcoholic birthdaughter and found drug parepheniia in her room, including a scale. She had open pill casings and was clearly snorting something else too. I looked in her pill bottle (my Mom says she's a walking pharmacy) and found hard drugs. Huge trigger for me...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about a survival tool many of us used before coming to the program- stifling feelings. The writer describes a respectful family who never argues , instead swallowing feelings and becoming emotionally frozen. This page resonated with me as I can recall ma...

hotrod · hotrod

Posting for Looking UP The C2C reading for today is extremely helpful and I love how it reinforces the fact that we are free to take care of ourselves in many situations .The reading points out that we have many responsibilities, but many things that we do not have to do in our lives. These are: We do...

LostButterfly · LostButterfly

Im new here. My therapist has suggested I find a meeting for support but Ive been putting it off. I guess, until recently, I wasnt ready to face the truth. What Im reading on here is very scary. It seems like there is no hope. Little about me: I met my husband at 16 and married him at 18. Im 32 now and have two sm...

Elabella · Elabella

I honestly feel so unsure about my methods of detaching. Tonight things were going well- I cooked a lovely dinner and AH was in a pretty good mood. Then, like has been becoming the norm as of late, he totally changed his demeanour. He had asked earlier in the evening if I would go buy beer for him, and I said...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I was talking with my daughter this past week and we had a very interesting chat...She is in AA, NA and also Al-anon, I am in Al-anon and ACA and both of us work our programs sincerely I have 2 younger brothers: 1 is AA/NA qualifer (real bad--street person) and the other is AA (getting worse drunk, sleeps...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New and lost (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...	Shane	15	1536	Dec 30, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Frustrated (Preview) I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...	nyan23	4	459	Dec 30, 2017 by Maresie
	When They Blame You (Preview) After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...	SoggySlippers	15	1975	Dec 30, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C Reading for 12-30-2017 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...	hotrod	4	2051	Dec 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Feeling sad... was I a trigger (Preview) Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...	CarlyH	9	2594	Dec 29, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/29/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...	Iamhere	7	1610	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/28/17 (Preview) The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...	Iamhere	15	2280	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	When an addict pretends to be clean (Preview) Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...	allywoo	11	1871	Dec 29, 2017 by newnoz
	New and Overwhelmed (Preview) Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....	Chels	8	3542	Dec 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	What's best for the kid? (Preview) So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...	Steph79	10	1932	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm losing my mind and turning into a monster... (Preview) I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...	Elabella	17	4797	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm full .. (Preview) I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...	SerenityRUS	12	1648	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Tired of it all (Preview) In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...	Mokka	8	1793	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Confusion and crisis (Preview) Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...	el-cee	12	3008	Dec 28, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Courage to Change December 27 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...	Skorpi	6	836	Dec 28, 2017 by DavidG
	Help please, I cant find "step of the week" ?! (Preview) Hi all and holiday blessings. I always have trouble finding it here. If any service members see this message please tell me how to find it so i can participate. Thanks v much	Grace R	1	796	Dec 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Support for a New Member?.. (Preview) So... Iâve come to realize that Iâm dating an alcoholic. The main problem? He doesnât think he has a problem so no changes are being made.. like someone else mentioned, itâs exactly like dating Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I think the worst part about it is that he doesnât even see it.. just treats me like a dic...	FckdByKarma	13	759	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Surprise! A Good Christmas Eve (Preview) My spouse's nephew has hosted Xmas Eve for the last 5 years since this side of the family couldn't bear to get together on Xmas Day (since his mother died on Christmas Day). It is a wonderful get together... great food & watching the young kids open presents is so fun! However, with all that was going...	PosiesandPuppies	10	1008	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Just thinking (Preview) Here it is Christmas eve, and I woke up, to quite. Blessed quite. No craziness! I am feeling so blessed! The alcoholic is god knows where. I assume with his ex-wife he said over and over again he is getting back with. She can have your drunkenness and insanity! She can handle it, she must be supper woman, I...	joker	9	924	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Forgiveness (Preview) Recently,at a meeting,I didn't finish my share and I decided to continue it here,and I hope that's ok.I think what I need is ESH to help myself work through this rather than just "tyfs" anyway. I have been struggling with forgiveness lately.Since my AH overdosed last month I have been holding a grudg...	SoggySlippers	10	3603	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	The final Straw (Preview) He's come home drunk. Having been in a fight. He's pretty beaten up - should probably go to hospital but he's aggressive with me and has gone to bed so not my problem. I've messaged him saying we need to break up. I feel bad having to message but in the last week I haven't seen him sober so it's my only way of co...	MizzB	14	628	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	A brother is now rationing himself on the drinking---appeasement to me?? (Preview) Yesterday was a great day for me...Talked on phone w/my kids and other loved ones including my A brother Apparently his bad arthritis is not so bad, originally he tells me docs want him on a rowing machine to help make him better, which was odd to me, and I also know that when he thinks he is in "deep doo doo"...	mamalioness	3	1894	Dec 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	He called from rehab (Preview) Yup. My phone rang tonight around 5:30, but I didn't recognize the number, and I was in the middle of Christmas dinner with my family, so I did not pick up. Later when it was quiet, I listened to the voicemail. RAH sounded good, but oddly wished me and my son a "Merry Christmas." What part of this Christmas...	PosiesandPuppies	7	432	Dec 26, 2017 by maryjane
	ODAT reading 12--26-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for December 26 speaks about the slogan, " let go and let God". It points out that many people think the slogan suggests that we do not take any action but simply sit back and let God do the work .Actually the true meaning of the slogan indicates that we must use our own good sense pray on...	hotrod	4	461	Dec 26, 2017 by maryjane
	Mele Kalikimaka... (Preview) Merry Christmas Family...didn't see an earlier greeting so here is one from the Big Island of Hawaii. It is cool and not cold...Mahalo Akua (Thank You HP) for that cause I don't do cold and there is no alcoholism wandering around bumping into my life like there use to be. Now it is doves outside the w...	Jerry F	11	654	Dec 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Update on visiting spouse in rehab (Preview) So this is kind of late in posting b/c I hadn't planned on sharing this... but the more I thought about it and read posts here on the MIP board, I thought that this ESH could help someone else... I had shared earlier about a letter from my spouse's rehab facility inviting family members to come visit their...	PosiesandPuppies	5	658	Dec 25, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	It’s been awhile (Preview) I will start by saying since leaving my exAH I have done the work and am no longer enabling addicts. I am happy and life is good. Every Christmas I cycle and just find myself sobbing at some point thinking about all the miserable years of my childhood and 15 years with my exAH. I come back out of it and feel ok...	Breakingfree	5	421	Dec 25, 2017 by Breakingfree
	Have I changed my mind? (Preview) We spent the weekend apart, I went to visit some friends in a town where we used to live. While I was away I missed him. I thought that there would be quiet and peace and I would be so relieved to be finally away from him, but I missed him, and when I came back I felt so warm towards him. I still want him to enter tr...	AnnieFenk321	6	442	Dec 25, 2017 by Maresie
	TOOLS I can CHOOSE to use for the holidays (Preview) This disease is cunning and baffling & "too much for most of us without such spiritual help". I am ever grateful to the long time members who have shared many tools (spiritual help) with me that they find handy during family gatherings where there has been a history of stressful or difficult situa...	luv123	10	532	Dec 25, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C, 12/25 (Preview) Silence: The reading points out that alanon teaches us to hold our tongue and and wait to react, yet it says that we can also use silence as a weapon. It can be used to punish and can actually be more harsh than cruel words. And if you are hurting someone else, you are essentially hurting yourself. Our...	Lyne	3	382	Dec 25, 2017 by mamalioness
	Alcoholic brother and now need to detach from him and parents advice appreciated. (Preview) Hi everyone! I am knew here. I have a brother who is an alcoholic. He is 26 around the age of 18 he started drinking and smoking weed. For as long as I could remember my parents sole focus is on him. I don't remember the last conversation I had with my parents that didn't involve his drinking. He has been to 9 r...	Lisa gold	4	448	Dec 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 12-23-2017 (Preview) Posting for Looking up who is experiencing computer problems The ODAT reading for December 23 focuses on the need for "" perfectionism".. The reading points out that clinging to our unrealistic ideas of what life. should be prevents us from grasping the important concepts of acceptance and deta...	hotrod	5	477	Dec 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today Dec 24 (Preview) Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about the Steps -their strength and importance in our recovery. This reading is particularly resonant with me for two reasons. I recently decided, with my sponsors support and guidance, to work the steps again. I am a musician and in some ways working the s...	yanksfan51	8	499	Dec 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	TIME to THINK (Preview) Hello everyone! Hope you all are well. I've been unemployed now for a month and I have finally gotten a chance to slow down, read, journal more, get back into my steps, and work on some self reflection. I've come to realize that I was doing a lot of projecting in my relationship. I got very good at poin...	andromeda	12	663	Dec 23, 2017 by Breakingfree
	My Christmassy topic... (Preview) Hi y'all... I came into these MIP groups six years ago... I used the steps board to cover the Alanon Steps and one other. I learned carefully how and why this MIP board was set up and met the creator John F. For me these message boards and chat rooms are full of hope. I was so hungry for hope. I woul...	DavidG	5	615	Dec 23, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Manipulation (Preview) Short version Active alcoholic manipulated a situation to get his way and make me look like a b if I said anything. I'm having a really hard time letting this go. Looking for some words of wisdom. Long version Went out for my (a) husbands birthday with his parents. I left the table for a minute and whe...	Cmag3	3	615	Dec 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	Ok with things i never thought I would be ok with (Preview) Christmas has always been very important to me and I used to love the season. Not so much anymore. Until addiction entered my life I don't think I was really grateful for the moments of peace that I am able to have on occasion. I used to take it all for granted. I have no plans this year, I have changed my...	serenity47	6	586	Dec 23, 2017 by Maresie
	Group conscience (Preview) In one of my groups, we held a group conscience to discuss interrupting members (gently of course) if their share was becoming too focused on the alcoholic. They wished to include in our opening remarks that "In Al-anon, we share our own ESH while keeping the focus on ourselves and how the program is h...	2HP	21	838	Dec 22, 2017 by newnoz
	Feeling much more myself lately .. (Preview) I have finally started to feel semi normal in terms of health. The last 3 weeks have been pretty brutal. I still am having a bout of something however nothing that the original antibiotics has not taken care of, the coughing was the worst and now it seems I have some weird intestinal thing going on and o...	SerenityRUS	3	481	Dec 22, 2017 by _bunny_
	Let It Begin With Me (Preview) As soon as I woke up this morning I started thinking "Let it begin with me". I don't know why though because I wasn't consciously thinking it.And that thought has been repeating over and over in my mind since then.I even felt the urge(nudge?) to search online and do some reading on it.I also felt an urge...	SoggySlippers	13	1112	Dec 22, 2017 by WestMan
	Is he drinking? (Preview) My AH is coming up on (maybe) 3 months sober, but he came home tonight and I suspect heâs been drinking. I think I smell it, under a lot of minty gum. Heâs acting just a little off. I hate this feeling of distrust, worry, anger (for maybe being lied to), guilt (for maybe being wrong in my suspicion). I have a b...	Cjm42	2	392	Dec 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hard being a grown up (Preview) Sometimes I just shake my head at myself because there are days and activities I just find hard to do and/or don't want to do. Today I will be taking care of my sick granddaughter knowing full well I may get sick too. Earlier this week I went to the dentist and had another medical check up the very next day...	Lyne	4	785	Dec 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about Steps Eight and Nine and the top person who should be on our list for amends. That person is self - have I harmed myself? The writer suggests that putting herself first had not occurred to her and that somewhere in her past, she got the message that to think of self first was w...	Iamhere	2	439	Dec 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage to Change December 20 (Preview) Hello MIP, happy Wednesday! Today's reading is about the 5th tradition: "Each Al-Anon family group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics." The author goes on to consider how it is that Al-Anon helps families of alcoholics and explains that we must first learn to love ourselves, the...	Skorpi	5	651	Dec 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Husband is drunk and manic (Preview) Not sure how to deal with this. Hes crying and says he doesn't want to live anymore and hes so sorry that i didnt deserve this. What can i say or do for him?	Carla61	7	622	Dec 20, 2017 by Aline
	check-in: separating (Preview) I just wanted to check in. We are planning to separate at the end of the month. It is taking us that long to get other arrangements in place for childcare and living. He is going to check out a treatment center today and will most likely move in there. It's like a rehab and sober living facility rolled int...	AnnieFenk321	12	674	Dec 20, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	ODAT READING 12/19 (Preview) Today's reading in the ODAT is an inspiring reminder of how little time practicing program takes in comparison to the number of hours we have in a week.The reading goes on to explain that we spend many disturbing hours filled with painful experiences and unfulfilled needs and that there are ways to o...	hotrod	7	495	Dec 19, 2017 by hotrod
	new learnings (Preview) I have been working hard on recovery! face to face al-anon meetings, journaling, therapy. Its been so hard work. I have been drained so much. I have been reading about alcoholism on line and read that alcoholics can go into psychosis. Its called alcohol indused psychosis and it stops once the alcohol...	joker	5	813	Dec 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Sobriety date (Preview) My AB has been sober for 6 months. He completed rehab and had been going to meetings regularly. He has been doing so well and takes his sobriety very seriously. Last night we went to a dinner party and he ate about 3 bites of his tiramisu and sensed there was some alcohol in it. He immediately stopped eati...	NCJo	6	538	Dec 18, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	I Saw My Mom (Preview) In the mirror today...I saw my Mom.How did I become her? As a child I swore to myself I would never go through or put up with all the things she did.I swore I would never act like she did too,so obsessed with my Dad and his drinking that nothing else mattered and nobody else existed.She was always so misera...	SoggySlippers	7	536	Dec 18, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C, 12/18 (Preview) Interesting Concepts: The reading for today talks about doing our part in Alanon, and not expecting HP to do what we can do for ourselves . It goes on to say that The Twelve Steps define what are our responsibilities and those we can turn over to God. It is suggested that we start each day with confiden...	Lyne	5	454	Dec 18, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Needing ESH on this topic (Preview) Hi MIP family! I have been pretty quiet here for some time, as I am having a hard time keeping up with all the responsibilities of running a single-parent household - you all know the drill! However, I read every night before I go to sleep (to keep me grounded), and I appreciate everyone's shares. Just la...	PosiesandPuppies	20	777	Dec 18, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	They sure know how to pull at your heartstrings (Preview) All my life I have had to be tough..the tough gal who wouldn't let the rager and the pervert destroy her...If I fell down, I would grit my teeth, wipe the blood off and get back up on my bike or my horse, whatever the vehicle it was that tossed me.... It wasn't and isn't the way I want to be..Yea, tough when nec...	mamalioness	13	535	Dec 18, 2017 by mamalioness
	Breakup with a recovering alcoholic--in need of advice (Preview) Good evening....I hope I can get some insight from this group. Three months ago, I met a woman and fell very hard for her and she felt the same way. She is a recovering alcoholic and she's been sober for 18 years. I completely supported and so admired the things she had gone through, the strength she had to...	nycwriter	14	5084	Dec 18, 2017 by Maresie
	I Need Your Help ASAP (Preview) Hi all, so I am living with my 24 year old alcoholic birthdaughter and found drug parepheniia in her room, including a scale. She had open pill casings and was clearly snorting something else too. I looked in her pill bottle (my Mom says she's a walking pharmacy) and found hard drugs. Huge trigger for me...	misterpiko	10	571	Dec 17, 2017 by misterpiko
	Hope for Today Dec 17 (Preview) Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about a survival tool many of us used before coming to the program- stifling feelings. The writer describes a respectful family who never argues , instead swallowing feelings and becoming emotionally frozen. This page resonated with me as I can recall ma...	yanksfan51	4	435	Dec 17, 2017 by DavidG
	C2C Reading 12-16 (Preview) Posting for Looking UP The C2C reading for today is extremely helpful and I love how it reinforces the fact that we are free to take care of ourselves in many situations .The reading points out that we have many responsibilities, but many things that we do not have to do in our lives. These are: We do...	hotrod	1	375	Dec 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Shifting addictions (Preview) Im new here. My therapist has suggested I find a meeting for support but Ive been putting it off. I guess, until recently, I wasnt ready to face the truth. What Im reading on here is very scary. It seems like there is no hope. Little about me: I met my husband at 16 and married him at 18. Im 32 now and have two sm...	LostButterfly	5	504	Dec 16, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Help with detaching...why can't I wrap my head around this??! (Preview) I honestly feel so unsure about my methods of detaching. Tonight things were going well- I cooked a lovely dinner and AH was in a pretty good mood. Then, like has been becoming the norm as of late, he totally changed his demeanour. He had asked earlier in the evening if I would go buy beer for him, and I said...	Elabella	28	722	Dec 16, 2017 by Maresie
	When is a relationship TOO high maintenance and therefore no longer worth it??? (Preview) I was talking with my daughter this past week and we had a very interesting chat...She is in AA, NA and also Al-anon, I am in Al-anon and ACA and both of us work our programs sincerely I have 2 younger brothers: 1 is AA/NA qualifer (real bad--street person) and the other is AA (getting worse drunk, sleeps...	mamalioness	3	539	Dec 16, 2017 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.