Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses compassion, enabling and motives. The writer thought it was defined by making excuses for the alcoholic or covering for them when bad choices were made. We learn that this is enabling instead of compassion and that when we clean up the consequences of alcoholic behavio...

Twinkies · Twinkies

Just got a message from our cell provider that my AH is tracking my phone! What in the actual heck?! Iâm totally thrown by this. First, he has zero reason to suspect me of cheating. ZERO. Iâm an all-in kind of woman. When I made my commitment to him, that was it. Unless divorce or death divides us, there wil...

Buff · Buff

Hi everyone I'm new here. I'm very much at the start of trying to get some help and support as I feel we are getting to be in crises. My oldest son is alcohol dependant, he is 21, I would say this has been the case for 3 years. He has a good job and to most functions very well. He drinks every day, whatever he can g...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

My AH has been back in the house now almost two months. But I have no idea who this man is anymore. For a brief time when he first came back he made an honest effort to try to and stay sober ( a lot like a child after grounding them for a messy room and they attempt to keep it clean!) Of course it didn't last long. A...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Going to start with the daily reminder --- Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life. The quote for the day --- from T...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, We've had a lady on our property a couple years. She moved here to get away from her environment and get help. She was found unresponsive before she decided to get away from the area she was in. The conditions for her living here were to make recovery meetings of whatever she chose. (This was part...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This has now become an inside joke with some friends and I. It's now my new catch phrase. Something that made me laugh is talking to my gentleman fellow coffee groupie is exchanging stories at the moment about kids. Hearing the phrase "I got this" seems to have a similar effect on those of us with kids...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi, a while ago I asked my AH to leave and stay with his parents as me and my children didn't feel comfortable with him being there. Not only is he an alcoholic but also a cocaine addict. Things had become abusive and I didn't want my children in that atmosphere. AH has been to rehab and has been supposedly c...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP, and Happy Wednesday! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about making little change each and every day. The author shares that they are writing their life story every single today, and asks "Am I moving in a positive direction?" The author knows that there is nothing we can do to chang...

CarlyH · CarlyH

After months of hardly any contact and then avoiding me, living with someone else it looks like I might finally get some closure. Iâve looked at my own behaviour a lot whilst Iâve been away from them. Iâve held back on my love a lot when theyâve started drinking. Pushed them away. Thereâs been too ma...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband is in rehab now... I can't contact him. Feeling strangely numb. Feeling sad. But also relieved. I feel safer and more comfortable in my home now.

Twinkies · Twinkies

6 days is such a short amount of time, but itâs the longest I can remember AH not drinking. Way too soon to even consider that it might be the start of a new normal. Heâs still acting oddly - thereâs a wall between us, but this time itâs a wall he put up, not one of my own making, not one I put up to try to shield mys...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! With the New Year, I am beginning to post a Step a month for this year. So in light of this Step one and has been posted...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

We're doing out best to try to stay present now that things are winding down after Christmas. At least this year we didn't hear any bombshell news on the holiday. Every year seems to be pretty much the same. A visit from his kids and then limited communication, getting together until Father's day. They...

Twinkies · Twinkies

The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...

Lyne · Lyne

Recovery is a process: The reading today speaks about how there are so many instant things in our society that we might expect recovery to be "instant" as well. However that is not so. It takes time & patience to heal, change , and trust. We need to stop expecting instant relief, and accept that...

Scared1993 · Scared1993

My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She t...

im-just-tired · im-just-tired

what do i do when my dad comes home drunk? I'm never sure anymore. I've tried ignoring it, avoiding it, confronting it, and pretending I don't notice it. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens frequently enough and sometimes it can be really bad. He drives home a lot. I can't always be sure how much...

Scared1993 · Scared1993

My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be to be, And oh, to lose. A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing, a holy thing to love. For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me. To remember this brings painful joy. Tis a h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is something I haven't openly shared a lot and I'm not sure how to, I have tried some support groups and let me tell you how that worked out .. LOL .. it's not Alanon. My daughter has informed me that she's choosing to transition into a man, and I'm trying to swallow a gay trans man .. let me explain. I h...

Aline · Aline

Thanks for being part - one of the best - of my year! I'm grateful for all your ESH, support and acceptance. May the next year bring more healing and hope to all!

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the great relief many of us felt immediately when coming into the program. Some have described it like being washed up on the shore, or being lifted up after exhaustion , or like the writer- having a thirst quenched. For me, having the methodical side th...

Overcome · Overcome

An impromptu meeting is now going on in the chat room. Anyone wishing to join, the topic is "A spiritual experience brought on by nature. (or any other al-anon topic that you wish to share on)" the topic is taken from the CAL book" Having had a spiritual awakening".

Tigger · Tigger

Hi Friends, It is a while since I posted anything, but I feel the need to share this significant event. The sudden and unexpected death of my primary A, my father. We just had his funeral, so this is a tough Christmas for my family. There is a lot of sadness in me and I'm taking each hour at a time during this t...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a peaceful Christmas and I wish you all a happy new year. For anyone who's been reading my post, you will know that I split up with my alcoholic partner about 5 months ago and he died 3 months later. Christmas was hard as I was expecting, I kept it as simple as possible for mysel...

Shane · Shane

I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...

nyan23 · nyan23

I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...

CarlyH · CarlyH

Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...

Chels · Chels

Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....

Steph79 · Steph79

So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...

Elabella · Elabella

I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...

Mokka · Mokka

In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...

el-cee · el-cee

Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...

Grace R · Grace R

Hi all and holiday blessings. I always have trouble finding it here. If any service members see this message please tell me how to find it so i can participate. Thanks v much

Support for a New Member?.. · FckdByKarma

So... Iâve come to realize that Iâm dating an alcoholic. The main problem? He doesnât think he has a problem so no changes are being made.. like someone else mentioned, itâs exactly like dating Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I think the worst part about it is that he doesnât even see it.. just treats me like a dic...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

My spouse's nephew has hosted Xmas Eve for the last 5 years since this side of the family couldn't bear to get together on Xmas Day (since his mother died on Christmas Day). It is a wonderful get together... great food & watching the young kids open presents is so fun! However, with all that was going...

joker · joker

Here it is Christmas eve, and I woke up, to quite. Blessed quite. No craziness! I am feeling so blessed! The alcoholic is god knows where. I assume with his ex-wife he said over and over again he is getting back with. She can have your drunkenness and insanity! She can handle it, she must be supper woman, I...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

Recently,at a meeting,I didn't finish my share and I decided to continue it here,and I hope that's ok.I think what I need is ESH to help myself work through this rather than just "tyfs" anyway. I have been struggling with forgiveness lately.Since my AH overdosed last month I have been holding a grudg...

MizzB · MizzB

He's come home drunk. Having been in a fight. He's pretty beaten up - should probably go to hospital but he's aggressive with me and has gone to bed so not my problem. I've messaged him saying we need to break up. I feel bad having to message but in the last week I haven't seen him sober so it's my only way of co...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Yesterday was a great day for me...Talked on phone w/my kids and other loved ones including my A brother Apparently his bad arthritis is not so bad, originally he tells me docs want him on a rowing machine to help make him better, which was odd to me, and I also know that when he thinks he is in "deep doo doo"...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yup. My phone rang tonight around 5:30, but I didn't recognize the number, and I was in the middle of Christmas dinner with my family, so I did not pick up. Later when it was quiet, I listened to the voicemail. RAH sounded good, but oddly wished me and my son a "Merry Christmas." What part of this Christmas...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for December 26 speaks about the slogan, " let go and let God". It points out that many people think the slogan suggests that we do not take any action but simply sit back and let God do the work .Actually the true meaning of the slogan indicates that we must use our own good sense pray on...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Merry Christmas Family...didn't see an earlier greeting so here is one from the Big Island of Hawaii. It is cool and not cold...Mahalo Akua (Thank You HP) for that cause I don't do cold and there is no alcoholism wandering around bumping into my life like there use to be. Now it is doves outside the w...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this is kind of late in posting b/c I hadn't planned on sharing this... but the more I thought about it and read posts here on the MIP board, I thought that this ESH could help someone else... I had shared earlier about a letter from my spouse's rehab facility inviting family members to come visit their...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I will start by saying since leaving my exAH I have done the work and am no longer enabling addicts. I am happy and life is good. Every Christmas I cycle and just find myself sobbing at some point thinking about all the miserable years of my childhood and 15 years with my exAH. I come back out of it and feel ok...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

We spent the weekend apart, I went to visit some friends in a town where we used to live. While I was away I missed him. I thought that there would be quiet and peace and I would be so relieved to be finally away from him, but I missed him, and when I came back I felt so warm towards him. I still want him to enter tr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 1/5/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses compassion, enabling and motives. The writer thought it was defined by making excuses for the alcoholic or covering for them when bad choices were made. We learn that this is enabling instead of compassion and that when we clean up the consequences of alcoholic behavio...	Iamhere	4	466	Jan 5, 2018 by hotrod
	Not sure what to make of this (Preview) Just got a message from our cell provider that my AH is tracking my phone! What in the actual heck?! Iâm totally thrown by this. First, he has zero reason to suspect me of cheating. ZERO. Iâm an all-in kind of woman. When I made my commitment to him, that was it. Unless divorce or death divides us, there wil...	Twinkies	7	500	Jan 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hi, in new (Preview) Hi everyone I'm new here. I'm very much at the start of trying to get some help and support as I feel we are getting to be in crises. My oldest son is alcohol dependant, he is 21, I would say this has been the case for 3 years. He has a good job and to most functions very well. He drinks every day, whatever he can g...	Buff	7	745	Jan 4, 2018 by Tigger
	and again.......... (Preview) My AH has been back in the house now almost two months. But I have no idea who this man is anymore. For a brief time when he first came back he made an honest effort to try to and stay sober ( a lot like a child after grounding them for a messy room and they attempt to keep it clean!) Of course it didn't last long. A...	Curlyblu	3	1656	Jan 4, 2018 by Takotsubo
	Courage to Change 1/4/18 (Preview) Going to start with the daily reminder --- Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life. The quote for the day --- from T...	Iamhere	4	496	Jan 4, 2018 by Lyne
	Boundary help? (Preview) Hi all, We've had a lady on our property a couple years. She moved here to get away from her environment and get help. She was found unresponsive before she decided to get away from the area she was in. The conditions for her living here were to make recovery meetings of whatever she chose. (This was part...	Tude	4	517	Jan 4, 2018 by Tude
	I got this .. (Preview) This has now become an inside joke with some friends and I. It's now my new catch phrase. Something that made me laugh is talking to my gentleman fellow coffee groupie is exchanging stories at the moment about kids. Hearing the phrase "I got this" seems to have a similar effect on those of us with kids...	SerenityRUS	6	536	Jan 3, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Am I in the wrong? (Preview) Hi, a while ago I asked my AH to leave and stay with his parents as me and my children didn't feel comfortable with him being there. Not only is he an alcoholic but also a cocaine addict. Things had become abusive and I didn't want my children in that atmosphere. AH has been to rehab and has been supposedly c...	allywoo	7	515	Jan 3, 2018 by Tude
	Courage to Change January 3 (Preview) Hello MIP, and Happy Wednesday! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about making little change each and every day. The author shares that they are writing their life story every single today, and asks "Am I moving in a positive direction?" The author knows that there is nothing we can do to chang...	Skorpi	7	903	Jan 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	End of relationship - closure (Preview) After months of hardly any contact and then avoiding me, living with someone else it looks like I might finally get some closure. Iâve looked at my own behaviour a lot whilst Iâve been away from them. Iâve held back on my love a lot when theyâve started drinking. Pushed them away. Thereâs been too ma...	CarlyH	3	470	Jan 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	husband checked into rehab today (Preview) My husband is in rehab now... I can't contact him. Feeling strangely numb. Feeling sad. But also relieved. I feel safer and more comfortable in my home now.	AnnieFenk321	5	492	Jan 3, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	6 days, no alcohol (Preview) 6 days is such a short amount of time, but itâs the longest I can remember AH not drinking. Way too soon to even consider that it might be the start of a new normal. Heâs still acting oddly - thereâs a wall between us, but this time itâs a wall he put up, not one of my own making, not one I put up to try to shield mys...	Twinkies	2	463	Jan 3, 2018 by KT2015
	Step one (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! With the New Year, I am beginning to post a Step a month for this year. So in light of this Step one and has been posted...	hotrod	4	582	Jan 3, 2018 by Freetime
	Post Holiday Blues (Preview) We're doing out best to try to stay present now that things are winding down after Christmas. At least this year we didn't hear any bombshell news on the holiday. Every year seems to be pretty much the same. A visit from his kids and then limited communication, getting together until Father's day. They...	tiredtonite	8	592	Jan 3, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Sober can be scary too (Preview) The last two days have been hard. He hasnât had a drop to drink in 4 days. The first two of that though were simply because he was recovering from a massive hangover + guilt. Weâve done that dance before. It was familiar and we both knew it was just a temporary reprieve. The last 2 though - starting when I tal...	Twinkies	4	793	Jan 3, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Discuss with me 'Jeckyl and Hyde" (Preview) My partner and I got into a relatively big fight tonight. IMHO, we both were out of line, but I already know he won't own up to his part. Too many topics were covered but basically I was feeling neglected and like a third wheel because he has a friend visiting from out of town all week and I was ticked off al...	andromeda	14	2868	Jan 2, 2018 by LinSC
	Al ANON HELP FOR SEVERE ANXIETY (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am reaching out to anyone who suffers with severe anxiety. In the past 1.5 years I have had EXTREME anxiety but it is based on triggered memories from my alcoholic father (he passed away Feb of this year but it is was NOT a resolved situation= I have worked on forgiveness and letting go) a...	Charlotte22	16	4103	Jan 2, 2018 by SoggySlippers
	ODAT Reading 1-2-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we ...	hotrod	5	2147	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	About Guilt (Preview) I found this on another forum... it was taken from Mars & Venus; Starting Over by John Gray, Ph.D. The highlighted areas are points I found important. "Sometimes even when we are the ones who are the victims, we feel guilty for leaving. We may mistakenly feel sorry for our partners, when really the...	PosiesandPuppies	12	3098	Jan 2, 2018 by Aline
	Lost my alcoholic husband this past spring. (Preview) Hey friends. I haven't posted in a while. In fact, I haven't gone to an al-anon meeting in a long time. I found that it wasn't for me, but I still reach this board when I need to remember that I am not the only one who has been through this. I hope it's ok that I still post. I am truly practicing the "Keep wh...	Bloodshotbetty	11	2372	Jan 1, 2018 by Bloodshotbetty
	C2C, 1/1 (Preview) Recovery is a process: The reading today speaks about how there are so many instant things in our society that we might expect recovery to be "instant" as well. However that is not so. It takes time & patience to heal, change , and trust. We need to stop expecting instant relief, and accept that...	Lyne	5	1913	Jan 1, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	My daughter (Preview) My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...	Scared1993	2	1529	Jan 1, 2018 by Lyne
	update on our situation (Preview) Hi friends I am just so exhausted. My mum is here visiting. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around and not have to be working so closely with my AH in order to get stuff done or look after our son. On the other hand, my mum has been reminding me of a lot of things from my childhood that I don't like. She t...	AnnieFenk321	4	2030	Jan 1, 2018 by Freetime
	Drunk Dads who come home Drunk father dad drunk driving unacceptable behaviour consequences help (Preview) what do i do when my dad comes home drunk? I'm never sure anymore. I've tried ignoring it, avoiding it, confronting it, and pretending I don't notice it. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens frequently enough and sometimes it can be really bad. He drives home a lot. I can't always be sure how much...	im-just-tired	4	3942	Jan 1, 2018 by nyan23
	My daughter (Preview) My daughter has a heroin problem,she went to rehab in the spring but because of private insurance she only stayed 12 days she was arrested in October for dui and possession of drugs and parifinala sorry can't spell it the next month arrested again went to her first court hearing the other day and found o...	Scared1993	1	1813	Jan 1, 2018 by AnnieFenk321
	Poem about grief and loss (Tis a fearful thing) (Preview) Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be to be, And oh, to lose. A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing, a holy thing to love. For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me. To remember this brings painful joy. Tis a h...	SerenityRUS	8	2288	Dec 31, 2017 by tiredtonite
	News, news and news .. (Preview) This is something I haven't openly shared a lot and I'm not sure how to, I have tried some support groups and let me tell you how that worked out .. LOL .. it's not Alanon. My daughter has informed me that she's choosing to transition into a man, and I'm trying to swallow a gay trans man .. let me explain. I h...	SerenityRUS	14	2158	Dec 31, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Thank you! (Preview) Thanks for being part - one of the best - of my year! I'm grateful for all your ESH, support and acceptance. May the next year bring more healing and hope to all!	Aline	5	511	Dec 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Dec 31 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the great relief many of us felt immediately when coming into the program. Some have described it like being washed up on the shore, or being lifted up after exhaustion , or like the writer- having a thirst quenched. For me, having the methodical side th...	yanksfan51	5	504	Dec 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sunday Morning Meeting (Preview) An impromptu meeting is now going on in the chat room. Anyone wishing to join, the topic is "A spiritual experience brought on by nature. (or any other al-anon topic that you wish to share on)" the topic is taken from the CAL book" Having had a spiritual awakening".	Overcome	3	2007	Dec 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Grieving the loss of my A this Christmas (Preview) Hi Friends, It is a while since I posted anything, but I feel the need to share this significant event. The sudden and unexpected death of my primary A, my father. We just had his funeral, so this is a tough Christmas for my family. There is a lot of sadness in me and I'm taking each hour at a time during this t...	Tigger	24	2074	Dec 30, 2017 by Tigger
	Anyone else struggle with peace and quiet when the alcoholic is gone? (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you all had a peaceful Christmas and I wish you all a happy new year. For anyone who's been reading my post, you will know that I split up with my alcoholic partner about 5 months ago and he died 3 months later. Christmas was hard as I was expecting, I kept it as simple as possible for mysel...	Sorcha	4	826	Dec 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	New and lost (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and have been driven to seek outside support. My wife of 5 years has turned what once appeared to be just a party and enjoy life kind of behavior into something much beyond that. We have a son together, he turned 2 today and I work to support the family while she stays with him. I have ask...	Shane	15	1598	Dec 30, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Frustrated (Preview) I'm frustrated. I left home young, I was afraid I'd kill my mum, my dad was pretty absent, I said I'd probably hurt her if it didn't stop and it didn't so I left. A lot happens when you're young and you don't have anywhere stable to live. I'm living with my mum again now as an adult. I feel guilty even writin...	nyan23	4	517	Dec 30, 2017 by Maresie
	When They Blame You (Preview) After a holiday get together,some family members told me they will not be over to my house anymore because of my AH and AS.They are just too afraid of everything that could go wrong or happen while over.I respected their decision and honestly,I do understand why they feel that way,this house can be so c...	SoggySlippers	15	2275	Dec 30, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C Reading for 12-30-2017 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 30 reminds us that the unpleasant things that people do have no power to destroy us or to ruin our day, unless we agree to permit it. The reading asks the question- do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth?It suggests that s...	hotrod	4	2373	Dec 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Feeling sad... was I a trigger (Preview) Iâve struggled over Christmas. I kept saying to myself leading up to it I was going to be fine but it didnât quite work out that way. Iâve seen my ex Ah at work a couple of times Christmas week briefly. Sheâs happy - looks it and has kept our conversation very brief. I hugged her when I finished Wednesday and...	CarlyH	9	2975	Dec 29, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/29/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about bringing the focus back to self - as needed, often and/or always. The writer talks about times when everything the alcoholic does/did was irritating. Even things like pouring cereal was wrong in her mind. The reading shares that while it's important that we learn to r...	Iamhere	7	1887	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/28/17 (Preview) The reading today talks about how many of us are reluctant to get close to people as a result of living with alcoholism. We have learned it is not safe to trust or reveal too much or even to care too deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. Al-Anon suggests a gen...	Iamhere	15	2555	Dec 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	When an addict pretends to be clean (Preview) Hi, I am new to this.. I have had no support and am now thinking I may need some. My AH who is also a cocaine addict came out of rehab 3 months ago, within a week he had relapsed. Since then he has been secretly drinking/taking drugs, well not that secretly because I am not blind or stupid. Everyone else he has...	allywoo	11	2113	Dec 29, 2017 by newnoz
	New and Overwhelmed (Preview) Hi everyone. I tried to skim the guidelines for posts and everything, but honestly, my brain is spaghetti right now. Hopefully, I don't break any rules here with this word vomit. I just feel like I need some support right now. I'm an adult daughter of an A, and I'm honestly not sure if my dad is an active A....	Chels	8	4023	Dec 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	What's best for the kid? (Preview) So, my daughter is 7 y/o, her father and I (friendly) divorced 2 -1/2 yrs ago. He had 50% custody, was generally a good man and good dad, but increased alcohol issues, and several times he passed out while he was watching her, and she couldn't wake him up. Then 1-1/2 yrs. ago he passed away suddenly fro...	Steph79	10	2198	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm losing my mind and turning into a monster... (Preview) I'm feeling so defeated. I haven't had the time for meetings. I'm still a newbie and am so confused, sad, angry, defeated. AH has been off of work for the last week and things have gone from bad to worse. And it's ME who is losing control. Today he went Christmas shopping on his own- which he absolutely hat...	Elabella	17	5414	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	I'm full .. (Preview) I'm in the throws of reminding myself how I am powerless over other people, places and things. The other thing that comes to mind is I don't have to eat an elephant all in one sitting. It's been a little over a year now and I am debating about the fact maybe my bf and I are not a good match. He has a lot of heal...	SerenityRUS	12	1982	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Tired of it all (Preview) In the last 12 months my alcoholic fiancÃ© has relapsed three times. One of these relapses involved him going missing without a trace in a foreign country for a week. It is always incredibly traumatic for me. Each time the same old woe is me excuses come out. He will always want to drink and remaining s...	Mokka	8	2044	Dec 28, 2017 by Steph79
	Confusion and crisis (Preview) Creating a crisis sounds like a deliberate premeditated act. An active drinker desperate to keep things ticking over to avoid any consequences may create crisis in an attempt to control the family and confuse the family. The drinkers in my life created a crisis after crisis sometimes a couple run...	el-cee	12	3380	Dec 28, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Courage to Change December 27 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about points of view. The author shares that they had struggled when someone else would express a point of view different from their own. The author used to take disagreements over different points of view personally, and felt that one point of view...	Skorpi	6	887	Dec 28, 2017 by DavidG
	Help please, I cant find "step of the week" ?! (Preview) Hi all and holiday blessings. I always have trouble finding it here. If any service members see this message please tell me how to find it so i can participate. Thanks v much	Grace R	1	888	Dec 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Support for a New Member?.. (Preview) So... Iâve come to realize that Iâm dating an alcoholic. The main problem? He doesnât think he has a problem so no changes are being made.. like someone else mentioned, itâs exactly like dating Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I think the worst part about it is that he doesnât even see it.. just treats me like a dic...	FckdByKarma	13	832	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Surprise! A Good Christmas Eve (Preview) My spouse's nephew has hosted Xmas Eve for the last 5 years since this side of the family couldn't bear to get together on Xmas Day (since his mother died on Christmas Day). It is a wonderful get together... great food & watching the young kids open presents is so fun! However, with all that was going...	PosiesandPuppies	10	1099	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Just thinking (Preview) Here it is Christmas eve, and I woke up, to quite. Blessed quite. No craziness! I am feeling so blessed! The alcoholic is god knows where. I assume with his ex-wife he said over and over again he is getting back with. She can have your drunkenness and insanity! She can handle it, she must be supper woman, I...	joker	9	979	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	Forgiveness (Preview) Recently,at a meeting,I didn't finish my share and I decided to continue it here,and I hope that's ok.I think what I need is ESH to help myself work through this rather than just "tyfs" anyway. I have been struggling with forgiveness lately.Since my AH overdosed last month I have been holding a grudg...	SoggySlippers	10	4079	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	The final Straw (Preview) He's come home drunk. Having been in a fight. He's pretty beaten up - should probably go to hospital but he's aggressive with me and has gone to bed so not my problem. I've messaged him saying we need to break up. I feel bad having to message but in the last week I haven't seen him sober so it's my only way of co...	MizzB	14	698	Dec 27, 2017 by Steph79
	A brother is now rationing himself on the drinking---appeasement to me?? (Preview) Yesterday was a great day for me...Talked on phone w/my kids and other loved ones including my A brother Apparently his bad arthritis is not so bad, originally he tells me docs want him on a rowing machine to help make him better, which was odd to me, and I also know that when he thinks he is in "deep doo doo"...	mamalioness	3	2165	Dec 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	He called from rehab (Preview) Yup. My phone rang tonight around 5:30, but I didn't recognize the number, and I was in the middle of Christmas dinner with my family, so I did not pick up. Later when it was quiet, I listened to the voicemail. RAH sounded good, but oddly wished me and my son a "Merry Christmas." What part of this Christmas...	PosiesandPuppies	7	518	Dec 26, 2017 by maryjane
	ODAT reading 12--26-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for December 26 speaks about the slogan, " let go and let God". It points out that many people think the slogan suggests that we do not take any action but simply sit back and let God do the work .Actually the true meaning of the slogan indicates that we must use our own good sense pray on...	hotrod	4	509	Dec 26, 2017 by maryjane
	Mele Kalikimaka... (Preview) Merry Christmas Family...didn't see an earlier greeting so here is one from the Big Island of Hawaii. It is cool and not cold...Mahalo Akua (Thank You HP) for that cause I don't do cold and there is no alcoholism wandering around bumping into my life like there use to be. Now it is doves outside the w...	Jerry F	11	702	Dec 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Update on visiting spouse in rehab (Preview) So this is kind of late in posting b/c I hadn't planned on sharing this... but the more I thought about it and read posts here on the MIP board, I thought that this ESH could help someone else... I had shared earlier about a letter from my spouse's rehab facility inviting family members to come visit their...	PosiesandPuppies	5	728	Dec 25, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	It’s been awhile (Preview) I will start by saying since leaving my exAH I have done the work and am no longer enabling addicts. I am happy and life is good. Every Christmas I cycle and just find myself sobbing at some point thinking about all the miserable years of my childhood and 15 years with my exAH. I come back out of it and feel ok...	Breakingfree	5	474	Dec 25, 2017 by Breakingfree
	Have I changed my mind? (Preview) We spent the weekend apart, I went to visit some friends in a town where we used to live. While I was away I missed him. I thought that there would be quiet and peace and I would be so relieved to be finally away from him, but I missed him, and when I came back I felt so warm towards him. I still want him to enter tr...	AnnieFenk321	6	537	Dec 25, 2017 by Maresie
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