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Screwed,and fed up...I am done with trying.I give up
(Preview)
I have sooo many mixed feelings about everything.My life,my mom,my dad,my granparents,my aunts. I just sit and think of all of them,and I get overwhelmed.I cannot determine when I will think of them,it is just random.
I have trouble with people telling me what to do.I am not saying I am a stuck up bra...
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Lauren ashley
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16
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660
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can't sleep now, more ESH please
(Preview)
I got a little sleep but was restless, obviously. Got up and read the replies to my post. Thank you so much to those of you who replied, it gives a bit of clarity. So this is what I am wondering, can I call the hospital that just discharged him and speak to the Dr. I spoke to him while he was there, they started t...
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confused
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5
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675
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chatroom again blocked "server messages??"for John
(Preview)
Hello John,
Hmmm Seems to be a hit and miss deal. Only pattern i see is that I can get into chatroom for morning meeting, then mysterious page, "server messages " appears and no chatroom.
new: sometimes a big coffee cup appears first with java on it, then i know I will get mysterious pag...
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toto12
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1
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442
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December 31st
(Preview)
Now that the year is at its end, I'll take a few minutes to comtemplate the progress I have made and to thank my HP for my growth. What did I do to contribute to my success this year? Perhaps it was as simple and as profound as daring to come to my first meeting or to keep coming even when it was difficult.
How...
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gardengal
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2
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439
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ESH needed ASAP
(Preview)
I am drowning here. My husband stopped by to talk, even though I told him that I was exhausted. He told me that he just does not think he can do it without the boys and I. I have not asked that, just that he not be in the house. He said that when he went through his first divorce he contemplated suicide, knew how...
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confused
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9
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763
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Letting go of the old
(Preview)
Hi Everyone! It's been a long time since I last posted here because I made a home for myself over on the ACOA board! It takes time to get to know people on these boards, and now I feel I do know several people there because of the sharing over these past few months. It feels strange for me...
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seachange
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4
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471
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~* One Step *~a poem~*
(Preview)
not many things in this world that i know like what fortunes await me or what the future may hold, but was told it is alright because it's the present i only need in which to succeed i don't need to see all my tomorrows i can only take one step at a time even if i run this pace will be just fine all i nee...
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ae``
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2
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406
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checking in
(Preview)
Hi everyone!! I hope that everyones hollidays were good!! I see alot of new names here on the board and want to say hello to all of the newcommers and welcome.
It has been quite some time since I have posted or even looked at the board and yes I have reverted into old patterns. I would...
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jj
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4
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445
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Need some ESH and to vent
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
My A has been home from rehab for exactly one week. He went in a week after he physically attacked me and wouldn't give me our 7 month old when I was getting the heck out of there, so I called the police. Although I didn't ask to arrest him or press charges, he was a drunken...
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Magpie
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4
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578
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new, scared and desperately needing advice
(Preview)
I have just recently discovered that my husband is an alcoholic. It is something that I have always worried about because it runs rampant in his family. Over the years there have been little clues. He's never been able to admit when he's had too much to drink, even in situati...
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ab23
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8
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568
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Going Through A Lot
(Preview)
My husband has been out of the home for a month now due to violent behavior which resulted in a protective order. I have had a difficult time with this. I know I can't live with the drinking rages, but why am I struggling so? I feel peace, but sadness and lonliness too. It seems l...
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meowzmusic
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3
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478
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how will you be on New Years Eve/Day?
(Preview)
Not looking forward to New Years Eve/Day. A husband will be having his A friend come spend the night. For the most part they'll be in the basement. They're both so excited that its New Years Eve - what are we having for dinner/snacks/drinks?
I just want to spend that night here on the computer and early...
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Barbara
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6
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432
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Sponsorship
(Preview)
This was a topic @ a meeting earlier this week. It was said that this message board was a good place to go to find a sponsor. I have a sponsor @ my f2f meetings, she is great, but I feel I need someone more similar to me. Her A is deceased. Mine is still alive. Living with an active alcoholic in den...
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horselover58
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2
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400
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Left feeling sad and depressed
(Preview)
I posted last week about my husband wanting to remain a big part of my life even though we are seperated and at first I thought this might work. When my husband first proposed this to me we were talking about divorce and he even said that if I wanted to find myself a boyfriend that it would be ok...
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JulieLynn
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3
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500
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my christmas
(Preview)
hi everyone hope you had a wonderful christmas. amanda always goes to her dad on christmas eve & i am always shopping to stay busy wraping gifts she usally comes home late christmas eve, but i was letting her sleep over so she could be there when her brother opened his presents. but i wanted her to com...
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chrissy
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7
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444
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being true to me
(Preview)
Hope for Today - December 28
One of the most beneficial things I have learned from my Al-Anon experience is to be consistent in my thoughts, words, and actions. In my alcoholic home, I learned to mask uncomfortable situations with words and actions I thought would promote harm...
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rosie light shines
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4
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514
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the chat room???????
(Preview)
HI EVERYONE/ANYONE,
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE CHAT ROOM? CAN'T GET IN AT ALL???
ANY ADVICE OR HELP??
FLUMPY 
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flumpy
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3
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436
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A light bulb moment for me at my meeting today...
(Preview)
 
It's amazing what I can take away from a step for a step that's so far ahead of where I am.
We were reading P2R as is our norm for our Wed Step Meeting, first 1/2 of Step 9. And I don't remember exactly what was shared and how I got to the realization but something hit me.
Someo...
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bobump
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2
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442
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Codependent & Mom
(Preview)
So my mother tells me, not to be co-dependent anymore and I start going through changes... now she is acting very snippy & short with me. It is ridiculous, our family is so screwed up. She tells me she is not even compassionate to herself. On Christmas Eve I told her she hu...
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kitty
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5
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548
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help John again "server messages"
(Preview)
oh grrrr
again it's doing it
The mysterious "server messages" page and it doesn't open the chatroom.
Help again, John/Oz, it's Weds. 9:00p.m. my time (Germany)
toto
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toto12
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2
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639
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how do they think of these things?
(Preview)
My husband has tried every possible manipution to stay at our house. From suicide threats, to divorce, to you don't care about me, to why are you making me do this, to flushing the joint that was hidden in our cellar,to I'll call a real estate agent and sell the house, the latest.... Mr. Nice Guy. I have no...
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confused
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2
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471
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irresponsible
(Preview)
Hi all,
I wanted to say I am sorry for not fullfilling my responsibility in regards to my op status. I have not been here as much as I should be, due to family probs. But I have not done the right thing by letting everyone know I would not be available for meetings and finding someone to replace me for the me...
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recoverkhristy
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2
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420
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Irrational Fears need some ES&H
(Preview)
Hi - I need some support, I am getting weird about these neighbors.
I looked again and read the deed restrictions, it says no building can extend beyond the building setback lines drawn on the platt. There are no building setback lines on the platt, I have looked and looked and looked at it, p...
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Robinks
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6
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1314
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Serenity Prayer LONG Version
(Preview)
~ The Serenity Prayer ~ GOD,grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change ~ COURAGE to change the things I can~ and the WISDOM to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking this sinful world as it IS, not as I w...
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lildee
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3
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4416
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another day
(Preview)
Happy Holidays all~
I made it through my visit with my cousin and his family. I still have a lot of feelings about it and him but it is over now. I am glad I went and saw some of my cousins.
I am having a lot of trouble being me right now. I so badly want to run and hide from me... I have even tried doing tha...
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sandie123
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2
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392
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Finally letting go????
(Preview)
I hit a wall today that I am trying to decide to break through it or not. I know that once I break it - its finally gone - 8 years of being in love with one person will be gone.
The only way I can make my head feel better is to write - its therapy for me.
The new year is coming on Sunday and so...
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Cyn
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3
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467
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My God Box
(Preview)
Hello all, My Christmas was nice, the usual with my son, it was great to see him so happy. Today I received a surprise gift, it was left on my back doorstep -maybe there for a few days. It happened to be a gift from a dear Al-Anon friend. Now being older it's not about the gifts for me but this is the only...
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tea2
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5
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628
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Looking at my life.....
(Preview)
When i was younger all i ever wanted when i grew up was a "normal" family life!
i grew up with my mother and my grandmother and had a very safe happy upbringing.
i remember reading enid blytons books and dreaming about all the imaginary lives in those fairytales.. the mom and dad, 2 kids and family dog...
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Rebecca
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5
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466
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boundaries
(Preview)
well here is my latest success although i feel kind of lousy. a came over to talk for a little bit. i asked what he was planning on doing and he didnt really have an answer. that hurt to see that he has still not hit his bottom. he told me his counsellor really believed that a wanted sobriety and was able to sti...
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notsonew1111
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5
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476
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boundaries with family
(Preview)
My family is mostly gone now, and my husband and I have no children. The family we really have left is my sister, who is one of my qualifiers. After many, many years I have finally accepted that the relationship she and i have is going to be the one we have forever, as sad as that makes me. For most of my life I f...
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mebjk
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2
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457
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totally exhausted
(Preview)
I'm new here, I went to the 12 step forum and read step one, I get that I am powerless over my A's drinking but why am I powerless over the effect it has on me? If I could change how the things he does and says while drinking effects me then maybe my life wouldn't feell like it's spinning out of control.&...
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Alone
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6
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469
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it did not go so well
(Preview)
It is amazing how an alcoholic cannot understand that everything they are saying is working against the purpose for which they are saying it. The discahrge came through yesterday. I went ahead with lunch plans with a fried before going to pick up my husband. He had been indesicisive about when he woul...
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confused
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3
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578
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Wait 6 months!?!
(Preview)
I was reading over posts and noted that someone was told it is better to not make any changes in the first 6 months of being in Alanon. I heartily agree but find that I have no choice in the matter of changes in my own life. I wish that 6 months of recovery could have passed before these changes b...
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angelinme908
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6
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490
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Another alcoholic Christmas at my house
(Preview)
What a surprise; my husband was drinking himself stupid again over the Christmas weekend. At least there was no fighting or screaming. On Saturday night we went to a Christmas party. He can't just drink a little, have some good conversation, etc. He has to drink until he's obnoxious and he started pic...
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Lindy
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5
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561
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long share on "climbing the mountain"
(Preview)
TUESDAY , DECEMBER 27, 2005
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1271>.
Near the Top
I know you're tired. I know you feel overwhelmed. You may feel as though this crisis, this problem, this hard time will last forever.It won...
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rosie light shines
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1
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781
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John, interested to know about the cards??
(Preview)
I am interested in how the men in the treatment center reacted to recieving the cards?...........Thank you ,,,,,,,,,,,,gardengal
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gardengal
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0
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457
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Sad Sad christmas
(Preview)
well first of all my parents are both A's and divorced, this year I was with my mama for christmas, and this year, my dad didn't even call me, on christmas eve or christmas day. I am so totally hurt by that, I mean maybe he just forgot or maybe he took a turn for the worst I dont know what do... I dont know anythi...
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Joycie
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8
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776
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not working
(Preview)
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nycbt
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1
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400
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More Resentments
(Preview)
Hi I didn't share this in the meeting but I have another resentment. My step son's showed up yesterday with no gifts. They are 22 and 24 years old and have jobs and money and perfectly capable of bringing gifts. This year I bugged my husband until he bought and wrapped one gift for them. I won't do that next...
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Robinks
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10
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487
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Resolutions
(Preview)
I sincerely hope that everyone was able to find some peace during the stress of Christmas. Now that the new year is fast approaching (where did the last one go?) so many of us make annual resolutions.
I while trying to find a topic to chair on for my f2f tonight had a thought I wanted to shar...
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AlaMom
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3
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383
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How to start over--again?
(Preview)
So my A says he has stopped drinking (like where and when have I heard THAT before?!) And he expects everything to be just hunky-dory between us. I know from past experience that things will be okay, peaceful for a bit and then just as I start to relax--BAM--he'll be back drinking and all he...
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beans
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4
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453
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Not sure how I feel about it all
(Preview)
Ok - so I went back to my parents house last night and spent it with my family because I realized how important my niece is to me and that my parents were not going to control that relationship either by making my night miserable. It was an empowering feeling to know I could have gone home and just enj...
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Cyn
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4
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477
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what a day
(Preview)
today was just messed up. last night (well this morning) 2am or so a decided to stop buy while totally strung out on coke. he just wanted to use the phone. i was amazingly calm. i said you are on coke and he said yes. he said i just need the phone. so he used the phone to call balance on credit card, wanted more c...
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notsonew1111
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2
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427
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i want this day to be over
(Preview)
well my mom called and is not coming over tonight. said she wont get back into town till later. im sad about this. i thought id at least get to see someone today. she says she'll come over tomorrow. but i was really looking forward to seeing her. but now its another night of staying up all night then when i ca...
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notsonew1111
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5
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904
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Gratitude
(Preview)
I have an endless list of thing s i am grateful for. Firstly Iam gratefuul for my higher power for loving me unconditionally even when my life seemed doomed. I am grateful for this fellowshop for its many gifts it has brought my way such as the serenity prayer which seems very handy whenever fears...
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hopeful
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3
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478
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heading into dangerous territiory
(Preview)
I am not sure why I am so stubborned?
My Christmas went surprisingly well but today I am going to possibly mess that up. I am going to my aunt’s house and my cousin, who abused me for many years, will be there. I want to go to see some of my cousins however I know from my child within there is a lot of fear abo...
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sandie123
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4
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485
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you BET i am worthy!!!!!
(Preview)
A.A. Thought for the Day
I need the A.A. principles for the development of the buried life within me, that good life, which I had misplaced, but which I found again in this fellowship. This life within me is developing slowly but surely, with many setbacks, many mistakes, many failures, but still...
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rosie light shines
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1
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386
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it will always control me
(Preview)
Not doing so great right now and I cannot get in to the chat. My husband will probaby be discharged today. He asked if I would pick him up. I had told myself that if he was not going into treatment, I would not do this. I did not tell him that in advance and now don't know what to do. He is not coming home, except t...
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confused
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7
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480
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New to loving an A....
(Preview)
I was dating my A for almost 2 years. It took me probably 8 months or more to begin to even allow myself to think that he had a problem. I guess I was in total denial...he seemed to be the perfect guy for me at first and I fell fast and hard....I'm in my 30s, so falling for someone like that doesn't...
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WorriedOne
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8
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672
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This xmas was the worst by far!!
(Preview)
where do i start.....
..... trying to get throu this xmas was the worst ever! trying to pretend i was happy and carefree when my mind was going round in circles. all i kept thinking was how different last xmas was.
..when my then boyf. arrived on xmas night at 8 after telling me he was staying at...
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Rebecca
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7
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708
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Never knew how messed up I was
(Preview)
I am bawling in my office on Christmas Day because I am realizing how incredibly emotionally screwed up my entire life has been. I am only recently realizing I have been emotionally abused my entire life - and my heart hurts so much. I know I am strong enough to be ok with myself - getting str...
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Cyn
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3
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550
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what a christmas
(Preview)
Hi all
wow when you have no expectations it is amazing what can happen. The past few days have been really great for me and my children. Im blessed to be an active member of Alanon. with the tools that I have been learning, they have helped me to achieve the peace that I was looking fo...
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sunny1
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2
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402
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Where I am today
(Preview)
My A came home after my long weekend I wanted alone and I can honestly say I was not as happy to see him as I thought I would be, I am not unhappy he is here ... just a strange numbness. It's a new feeling. I am praying to my HP to keep me standing and to give me the strength needed to let myself and him live in peace....
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Jennifer
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1
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442
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direction
(Preview)
Hi hope you guys can help I need some direction. Because I don't have al-anon here I am winging it a bit sometimes. I do still see the d/a counsellor for me once a month and I have a lady now writing to me from al-anon in another state but need help with the day to day things. My A hus...
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leo
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11
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494
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Ricksgirl
(Preview)
Sorry I missed your leaving. Send me a private message and I will give you my email address so we can stay in touch.
Take Care
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Robinks
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0
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364
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Christmas past and present
(Preview)
For 14 years I celebrated Christmas the same way.
My husband and I would share our gifts, I would prepare a turkey dinner and bake cookies and we shared the day together, isolated from our family and friends.
And by 4pm Christmas day my alcoholic husband would be passed out drunk...
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megan
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7
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436
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Realizations during Christmas
(Preview)
Now that I have been involved with Alanon for the past month - my eyes are opening up SOOOO widely its amazing. I am sitting at my parents house for Christmas - been here since yesterday making cookies for my coworkers (they have an enormous kitchen) and watching the interaction between my fight...
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Cyn
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3
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619
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help i cant get in chat room
(Preview)
chat room wont let me in,just getting a blank page,i dont know whats going on.
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pattyann1963
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1
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409
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need to follow through for me
(Preview)
Christmas day was not as bad as I had thougth it would be. We got up and went to sunrise service and then came home and opened some gifts. My sister in law made a special trip to come up to give me a gift even though I would be seeing her later and we do secret santa with my in-laws, she had bought the gift just to b...
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confused
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2
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432
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DEPRESSION
(Preview)
HIYA ALL .
SORRY TO SOUND SO 'ME ME ME' BUT I JUST WONDERD IF ANY OF YOU HAD ANY GOOD ADVICE FOR SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION, TIP'S ON WHAT TO DO ECT, AS I HAVE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT I AM INFACT SUFFERING WITH 'DEPRESSION'! AND NOT TOO KEEN ON TAKING MEDICATION FOR IT IF I CAN AVOID IT.
ANY HELP/...
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flumpy
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19
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833
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