Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jtpickle · jtpickle

Hi Everyone - Are there any other ideas or suggestions you can give me of how I can mentally separate my AH from this disease? Here's the scenario that plays each night: AH comes home from work, drinks a beer that we can "see" but has already had his vodka or other alcohol of choice by now. He then goes t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in courage to change is about step two - a return to sanity. The author shares that if someone had been observing their actions prior to AlAnon, they would have seemed like the one who was insane. Living with an active alcoholic and trying to control alcoholic behavior resulted in all...

Twinkies · Twinkies

AH and I have been up and down the last few days. Part of it was me, part of it was him. Iâm new to this way of life too and heâs not the only one struggling with his choice to stop drinking. Iâm grateful heâs come to this point - finally, after years of praying, of hoping, of dreaming - weâve finally taken the fi...

Tude · Tude

Hi everyone. My AF who lives on our property has been going to AA a few weeks now. She has a court date over DUI coming up the 24th. When she stopped over to get her mail I asked her what the court date was (i had forgotten it) and if her sponsor was going with her to court.......no. I guess my concerns are if sh...

LuvMySun · LuvMySun

without making this too long- I am scared and worried for my adult son... his dad (my ex husband) was/is alcoholic and my son has been in a downward spiral for months now. I am remarried (since my son was 11- he is now 28) but his Dad has painted my husband as the "bad guy" and my son always craved time and atte...

MizzB · MizzB

Last night A EX-BF came round without announcement and wanted to dry out here. I asked my parents to come over because I dind't want my first weekend alone to be alone, so there was nowhere for him to sleep. He was lost and scared and breaking and I had to turn him round to send him back to his hotel. I know tha...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi friends I just want to drop this here. I would love some help seeing this with program eyes. We are packing up our apartment. I only have a few more days before I leave. I need to get all the stuff out. That includes my AH's stuff. I still can't talk to him so I have to make judgement calls on everything - ev...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for January 16 points out that we react instantly to situations and forget to THINK and pray before we RESPOND. /It suggest that this is a personality flaw and indicates that many of our irrational reactions are automatic and if we take the time to THINK we will respond in a ore const...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I had a good laugh at myself over the weekend .. at the moment it looks like there will be more court. I know shocking right?? LOL. Oi. I'm going to see what he has going on I'm not the one jumping to file, I have no intension .. it plays to my favor. I know I'm horrible however after doing this for 7 year...

joker · joker

I have been working hard on my recovery. I have been doing a lot of processing and its been so hard. I had a break down yesterday. I had not had been grocery shopping for awhile as it reminds me of the alcoholic. Well, yesterday I finally faced my fear and got groceries. Well, that was a trigger big time. I go...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been missing my mom lately. I haven't talked to her in sometime. It is going to get cold here & I may feel the coldness the most. My mom is safe in a hospital & has not contacted me at all. I had to find out from a friend where she is. I am suffering from a bit of guilt getting rid of her stuff & b...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

Ok so I have talked to some other people in 1:1 meetings and it seems like there is that opinion that by me not sharing my feelings with AH that I am codependent and just allowing the situation to go on to a certain extent. Because the drinking has become more frequent and he is definitely trying to hide it...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Call my mom or not? Might be toxic & a mistake. I want to know for sure. She may be angry. Do I take a risk? Boundaries in place.

MizzB · MizzB

I finally told ABF we were over after a bad week last week and then another MIA event last night. And he has found somewhere else to stay for a week and then he's moving out. I am heartbroken that it had to come to this. I did everything I could. I know he's not a bad person, but the decision to drink is done whil...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the importance of setting boundaries for ourselves in relationship to others. Many of us have felt we must avoid setting boundaries our of fear that we may upset someone else. I think of this as always my discomfort before yours. What I have noticed s...

Lyne · Lyne

Stay in the day you have: The writer discusses learning about a crisis involving an alcoholic he/she loves. She began worrying, projecting, dreading the outcome, and could not even focus at work. She remembered the slogan, ODAT. She realized that the worrying could not protect her, yet it was r...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My morning meeting (AA) started off normally and I was prepared to leave early to attend the Saturday Al-Anon group with my spouse until a heavily tattooed male broke into the meeting speaking loudly and rapidly and because of my marginal hearing I didn't get much other something about a cell phone...

tats · tats

Hello everyone, im brand new to alanon and i am finally reaching out out of desperation. My husband is an active alcoholic, after 9 yrs being sober he started again at a party and never stopped, that was a little over 2 yrs ago now....2 agonizing years. i feel like im living in groundhog day where each day...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I havent posted in so long. Overall life since splitting with AH has been such a blessing. I feel joy and lightness where I hadnt in so long. My struggles with AH are in his manipulation- he does not want this marriage to end and he is throwing everything at me, trying to shame me into trying ag...

lookingup · lookingup

today;s reading is about our joining alanon and finding the personal spiritual freedom to choose the HP of or own understanding. It suggests the because we are free to do this we can embrace a HP that we trust and can turn our life over to.The reading suggests that as we practice program our unders...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Some days back there was a post on this board which I can no longer locate. It was about a window that now appears on the entrance of the MIP Alanon Chatroom which requires that you check it off in order to get into the chatroom for a meeting. When you check off this box and hit Connect, you get a Green Line loa...

jtpickle · jtpickle

Hi Everyone - I'm wondering if someone could clarify or explain the don't from the sticky: "Don't resent the method of recovery". I'm not sure exactly how to understand this. Does this mean how they choose to recover - by themselves or via a 12 step program? It's confusing to me but probably only be...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

LOL .. there is a story here and it made me LOL to myself today. Way back in early, early pre alanon, right at the beginning of my journey with alanon. My XAH and I lived on a farm. It wasn't ours .. we were renting. Landlords lived next door .. they were fun .. NOT. My XAH decided he was going to build a wi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't know if any MIP Family member shared this survey questionnaire before however it was just shared with me and I felt it might be helpful here. Takes about 20 minutes to fill out and is very supportive and informative. If you don't want to ...not and issue... just for those who are supportive w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am seriously struggling to keep my big fat mouth shut and it is a challenge in ways that would boggle the mind at this point. I am frustrated with the people in my life, ALL of them .. LOL .. I have hormones screaming and honestly it is surprising I haven't acted out worse than I have at the moment. Mostly...

ling · ling

Hi not sure if I'm posting this right as I'm a bit technophobic. To put in picture briefly I'm in dilemma as I can't sit and watch him drink (he doesnt want siezures - hes had three) and i can't stand it and don't want to be controlled when to go out. Where to on tap? We have no children (he has) and I have no fami...

allywoo · allywoo

Hi all, my AH and I are separated he lives with his parents. We have 2 dogs and he comes to visit them and walk them frequently, I have been very reasonable in allowing him to do this considering how badly he has treated myself and the kids. However on every visit I never know what mood he is going to be in, we h...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP - happy Thursday. Today's Quote from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism --- "For me, alcoholism has proven to be a bittersweet legacy - bitter, because of the pain I suffered, and sweet, because if it weren't for that pain, I wouldn't have searched for and found a better way of living." Today'...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, Where is the line that goes from compulsive liar to addiction based lies? I have tried to post this a few times today and have been embarrassed to ask. The AF in my life has a horrific lying issue. It totally blows my mind andnnnn sets me on edge more than when she relapses. No honesty=no relations...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It's been awhile since I've posted here, but I do still read this board every now and then (usually right around my Al-Anon anniversary, which will be 9 years in February). Just wanted to share that life is good, and certainly that is an understatement compared to 9 years ago when I walked into my first A...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to give y'all an update on my mom. She is getting guardianship from the state. I will not be responsible for her. It is now out of my hands. I thank HP for looking out for her. Some might think it isharsh including family members. I just need to know that I am doing the right thing. She us very ill. ...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Hi I have a friend whose husband's alcoholism is progressing, but they are both in denial about it. I am watching the illness worsen, as it always does, with his behavior growing more and more destructive. I am familiar with alcoholism as both my parents and various family members are alcoholics. I'm...

CarlyH · CarlyH

hi, ive posted some grim depressive stuff on here since October. my Relationship with Ex came to An abrupt end and it wasnt my choice and I found it hard. Massively hard. I had self doubt no confidence and I was broken the fact they wouldnt speak or acknowledgw or show any remorse was probably the most...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi all, I just have something I really want to share and I hope that by letting it go here, I can start to move on. I am flooded with self-doubt and self hate at the moment. I posted in an earlier post about deciding to go to my home country to be with my family during the time when my husband is in his 8 month r...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about breaking the cycle of worry and fear. The author shares that when they focus on worry and fear, their thoughts can become obsessive, they can become relentlessly critical of themselves, and lose the ability to accomplish anything useful. F...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I have been working through the "Blueprint for Progress" booklet and I am not sure if it's because of that or what, but I woke up this morning with this thought... I have been having a hard time with blaming my spouse for the end of our 29 year marriage. While it is true that the alcoholism and addictive beh...

jessiefred86 · jessiefred86

My... boyfriend (?) and I met a little over a year ago at the beginning of a relapse for him. Of course, the depth of his addiction were not known to me until we were too far gone, so to speak. 2 rehabs and a heat layer and here we are. Heâs been sober for a longer period of time than Iâve ever known him to be, and I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am just posting to update now & then. I am not in any crisis I have to tell myself. If only my mom wasn't. From what I am getting, she is now AWOL. I have yet to hear from her. She hasn't called or I haven't gotten a call. I guess this affects me in 3 ways: I am grateful I am not her, I am saddened of she being mi...

Carmine · Carmine

I have been working for four years with a group of people on publishing a book. The book launch is next month. I would very much love to be there. Last month my AH said I should go. Today, just out of the blue, he says I have no business going to that event, no one needs me there. I said nothing. Did not ask for an...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 9 speaks about how confusing and disturbing,living with the disease of alcoholism can be. It suggests that often we reject God and the help we can receive . Without the God of our understanding going it alone only makes matters worse. When we finally see that going it ...

Twinkies · Twinkies

11 days sober for AH and I feel like Iâm the one about to crack. Thereâs been very little communication between us aside from general pleasantries until Friday, when we did have a real conversation - nothing alcohol related. Then back to nothing much yesterday. Thereâs a huge wall between us and even t...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

For about the last 6 months, I have been attending 5 or 6 alanon meetings a week. I go to the meetings, but didn't get a sponsor and rarely share. I just listen. The weather where I live has gotten really icy and snowy, with temperatures well below zero. About a month ago, I started using the weather as an ex...

lookingup · lookingup

ive been searching all over for me an apartment,I live in a house I rent right now been looking for a change , and im so excited to say I've finally found where I want to go,for some here remember me downsizing for a long time now, pits finally happening ,the way it came about was strange is why I know without...

Tude · Tude

It's been so long since I worked the 12 Steps, I had forgotten the hidden things they can bring up. I was of course, focusing on all the things that were driving me crazy when I came back into Al-anon. Those things that are buried, bring up pain, embarrassment,anxiety and all sorts of just yuk surfaced!...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

I just want to share and leave this here that I have a lot of fear surrounding the coming transition. I have to speak to our land lord today. I am ready to pay the lease as long as it takes to find a new tennant and I want to uphold my contractual obligations but I am fearful about him being angry at me and I stil...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am very sorry about trying something new that I didn't know I did & appreciate Betty for drawing attention to it. It was so nice of her to mention in a post. I am so grateful that pencil have erasers. Much more to post about my mom. She is out the hands of the county we live in & probably won't be seen...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I havnt seen my XAH in 2 years. Yet I use Alanon principles everyday. I love and live with a wonderful guy who happens to be a hoarder and has his share of anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. It is a challenging relationship and we have the usual misunderstandings. However, at the beginning we set rules o...

Lee51 · Lee51

I haven't posted in awhile, but have been attending meetings when I can, though do not yet have a sponsor. For awhile I thought I was gaining some ground, but am starting to wonder if I was just kidding myself. The holiday was a bad one for me with family scattered across the country, the anniversary of my...

larust93 · larust93

Hello, Recently my mom moved back to the state she is from. She is now with her sisters and brothers and parents. I recently got married and I live in the same state too, just trying to finish my last semester of university. I am struggling because my mom causes me a lot of stress. She has always had an issue...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- I hope you are all are warm and comfortable... the temp in my corner of the world is currently a balmy -7 Fahrenheit:) Todays reading is a focus on our saying about the three Cs: I didnt cause it, I cant control it, and I cant cure it. I have always appreciated the message of this sayi...

Lyne · Lyne

Let go and let God: Today's reading talks about the empowerment we can truly feel, when we accept that we are powerless over the alcoholic and all her problems. The writer understood that his alcoholic had her own Higher Power, and that HP and the A could work out her life circumstances. The writer...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Very long 72 hours, there have been lots of arguments, crying, and tantrums (oddly enough not from me!!). I sure did pull from my tool box and really tried to focus on the fact we didn't know anything until Thursday. At the moment my kid has lost adult status. I do not believe that just because someone...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is a truism that keeps coming back to me in cycles throughout my recovery. I get so caught up in what is going on around me in my job, personal life and other areas (mostly job these days), that I forget none of my hardships are really things being done "to" me so that I can suffer. None of my challenge...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hi!! and belated Happy New Year!!! Well I began the new year with the flu...congestion/infected sinuses and chest...I was thrashed.....Feeling a bit better each day, but its slow... I could complain, feel like the victim, feel like "oh another bad year" but EVERYONE I know has either gotten it or...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi friends, I wanted to ask your ESH about making decisions early on in recovery. I know that it is advised not to make major decisions during the first 6 months of recovery. Unfortunately, I don't think I am going to get that choice. I am going to have to make some decisions, because my husband has bee...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Sitting with something that happened. I thought I would share, see what I get back... So last Friday evening, my spouse called me at work from rehab. I did not answer as I can't while I am at work. The message was that he got some official kind of document and he had all these questions about what it was. He a...

nyan23 · nyan23

Hi guys, I've been reading the step one to al anon. I fully agree that alcoholism is a disease, has affected me and my family in many ways which are negative and that I cannot control or change my A. However, I'm struggling with the higher power bit. When I was young I went extremely spiritual and after...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for January 6.reminds us that attending Al-Anon meetings helps us to see that we are not alone and that others have problems that are equally as difficult. When we begin to realize that others have problems more difficult than our own, and are facing them with courage and confiden...

kayS · kayS

My husband is an addict (alcohol and opiates). He's yet to truly go into recovery. He's trying - has some white knuckle periods - but nothing too much more than that. I've been in regular individual therapy regarding this for approx. 3 years now. We've discussed couple's therapy - he and I. I k...

Twinkies · Twinkies

Hello everyone - been reading lots of posts from lots of people on lots of forums lately. You all seem like such a warm and welcoming group that I thought Iâd jump in and introduce myself. Iâm still pretty new to practicing the mindset that Alanon prescribes but I can already tell a difference in my life....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ideas needed to mentally separate AH from the disease (Preview) Hi Everyone - Are there any other ideas or suggestions you can give me of how I can mentally separate my AH from this disease? Here's the scenario that plays each night: AH comes home from work, drinks a beer that we can "see" but has already had his vodka or other alcohol of choice by now. He then goes t...	jtpickle	5	548	Jan 18, 2018 by jtpickle
	Courage to Change January 17 (Preview) Today's reading in courage to change is about step two - a return to sanity. The author shares that if someone had been observing their actions prior to AlAnon, they would have seemed like the one who was insane. Living with an active alcoholic and trying to control alcoholic behavior resulted in all...	Skorpi	6	628	Jan 18, 2018 by Aline
	Letting it all go (Preview) AH and I have been up and down the last few days. Part of it was me, part of it was him. Iâm new to this way of life too and heâs not the only one struggling with his choice to stop drinking. Iâm grateful heâs come to this point - finally, after years of praying, of hoping, of dreaming - weâve finally taken the fi...	Twinkies	11	642	Jan 17, 2018 by MaggieRuth
	AA and court... (Preview) Hi everyone. My AF who lives on our property has been going to AA a few weeks now. She has a court date over DUI coming up the 24th. When she stopped over to get her mail I asked her what the court date was (i had forgotten it) and if her sponsor was going with her to court.......no. I guess my concerns are if sh...	Tude	6	541	Jan 17, 2018 by Maresie
	scared and worried for my son adult son downward spirla (Preview) without making this too long- I am scared and worried for my adult son... his dad (my ex husband) was/is alcoholic and my son has been in a downward spiral for months now. I am remarried (since my son was 11- he is now 28) but his Dad has painted my husband as the "bad guy" and my son always craved time and atte...	LuvMySun	15	715	Jan 17, 2018 by hotrod
	THe guilt, the fear, the sadness (Preview) Last night A EX-BF came round without announcement and wanted to dry out here. I asked my parents to come over because I dind't want my first weekend alone to be alone, so there was nowhere for him to sleep. He was lost and scared and breaking and I had to turn him round to send him back to his hotel. I know tha...	MizzB	4	586	Jan 17, 2018 by Maresie
	freaking out (Preview) Hi friends I just want to drop this here. I would love some help seeing this with program eyes. We are packing up our apartment. I only have a few more days before I leave. I need to get all the stuff out. That includes my AH's stuff. I still can't talk to him so I have to make judgement calls on everything - ev...	AnnieFenk321	6	536	Jan 17, 2018 by Tude
	C2C reading 1-16-2018 (Preview) The C2C reading for January 16 points out that we react instantly to situations and forget to THINK and pray before we RESPOND. /It suggest that this is a personality flaw and indicates that many of our irrational reactions are automatic and if we take the time to THINK we will respond in a ore const...	hotrod	7	545	Jan 16, 2018 by Hoot Nanny
	More revealed .. (Preview) So I had a good laugh at myself over the weekend .. at the moment it looks like there will be more court. I know shocking right?? LOL. Oi. I'm going to see what he has going on I'm not the one jumping to file, I have no intension .. it plays to my favor. I know I'm horrible however after doing this for 7 year...	SerenityRUS	9	549	Jan 16, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Progress forward (Preview) I have been working hard on my recovery. I have been doing a lot of processing and its been so hard. I had a break down yesterday. I had not had been grocery shopping for awhile as it reminds me of the alcoholic. Well, yesterday I finally faced my fear and got groceries. Well, that was a trigger big time. I go...	joker	9	560	Jan 16, 2018 by Tude
	missing her (Preview) I have been missing my mom lately. I haven't talked to her in sometime. It is going to get cold here & I may feel the coldness the most. My mom is safe in a hospital & has not contacted me at all. I had to find out from a friend where she is. I am suffering from a bit of guilt getting rid of her stuff & b...	Hoot Nanny	5	606	Jan 16, 2018 by Tude
	Need advice on neigh open to AH (Preview) Ok so I have talked to some other people in 1:1 meetings and it seems like there is that opinion that by me not sharing my feelings with AH that I am codependent and just allowing the situation to go on to a certain extent. Because the drinking has become more frequent and he is definitely trying to hide it...	Dancer66	21	997	Jan 16, 2018 by Maresie
	should I or shouldn't I? (Preview) Call my mom or not? Might be toxic & a mistake. I want to know for sure. She may be angry. Do I take a risk? Boundaries in place.	Hoot Nanny	3	477	Jan 15, 2018 by Iamhere
	The End (Preview) I finally told ABF we were over after a bad week last week and then another MIA event last night. And he has found somewhere else to stay for a week and then he's moving out. I am heartbroken that it had to come to this. I did everything I could. I know he's not a bad person, but the decision to drink is done whil...	MizzB	15	794	Jan 15, 2018 by Maresie
	Hope for Today Jan 14 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the importance of setting boundaries for ourselves in relationship to others. Many of us have felt we must avoid setting boundaries our of fear that we may upset someone else. I think of this as always my discomfort before yours. What I have noticed s...	yanksfan51	9	552	Jan 15, 2018 by Tude
	C2C, 1/15 (Preview) Stay in the day you have: The writer discusses learning about a crisis involving an alcoholic he/she loves. She began worrying, projecting, dreading the outcome, and could not even focus at work. She remembered the slogan, ODAT. She realized that the worrying could not protect her, yet it was r...	Lyne	9	700	Jan 15, 2018 by Tude
	Everybit a meeting topic (Preview) My morning meeting (AA) started off normally and I was prepared to leave early to attend the Saturday Al-Anon group with my spouse until a heavily tattooed male broke into the meeting speaking loudly and rapidly and because of my marginal hearing I didn't get much other something about a cell phone...	Jerry F	9	502	Jan 14, 2018 by bud
	Brand newand scared (Preview) Hello everyone, im brand new to alanon and i am finally reaching out out of desperation. My husband is an active alcoholic, after 9 yrs being sober he started again at a party and never stopped, that was a little over 2 yrs ago now....2 agonizing years. i feel like im living in groundhog day where each day...	tats	13	663	Jan 14, 2018 by tats
	Drinking at a visit (Preview) Hi everyone, I havent posted in so long. Overall life since splitting with AH has been such a blessing. I feel joy and lightness where I hadnt in so long. My struggles with AH are in his manipulation- he does not want this marriage to end and he is throwing everything at me, trying to shame me into trying ag...	VickiR	16	1957	Jan 13, 2018 by Aline
	CTC,,,,01-13-2018 reading for today. (Preview) today;s reading is about our joining alanon and finding the personal spiritual freedom to choose the HP of or own understanding. It suggests the because we are free to do this we can embrace a HP that we trust and can turn our life over to.The reading suggests that as we practice program our unders...	lookingup	5	481	Jan 13, 2018 by lookingup
	Looking for an Update on Alanon Chatrrom Entrance (Preview) Some days back there was a post on this board which I can no longer locate. It was about a window that now appears on the entrance of the MIP Alanon Chatroom which requires that you check it off in order to get into the chatroom for a meeting. When you check off this box and hit Connect, you get a Green Line loa...	tiredtonite	2	543	Jan 13, 2018 by tiredtonite
	Clarification on a "Don't" from the Sticky (Preview) Hi Everyone - I'm wondering if someone could clarify or explain the don't from the sticky: "Don't resent the method of recovery". I'm not sure exactly how to understand this. Does this mean how they choose to recover - by themselves or via a 12 step program? It's confusing to me but probably only be...	jtpickle	2	811	Jan 13, 2018 by Iamhere
	Windmills (Preview) LOL .. there is a story here and it made me LOL to myself today. Way back in early, early pre alanon, right at the beginning of my journey with alanon. My XAH and I lived on a farm. It wasn't ours .. we were renting. Landlords lived next door .. they were fun .. NOT. My XAH decided he was going to build a wi...	SerenityRUS	4	553	Jan 13, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Al-Anon Survey (Preview) I don't know if any MIP Family member shared this survey questionnaire before however it was just shared with me and I felt it might be helpful here. Takes about 20 minutes to fill out and is very supportive and informative. If you don't want to ...not and issue... just for those who are supportive w...	Jerry F	6	1240	Jan 12, 2018 by lookingup
	Can't keep my mouth shut .. (Preview) I am seriously struggling to keep my big fat mouth shut and it is a challenge in ways that would boggle the mind at this point. I am frustrated with the people in my life, ALL of them .. LOL .. I have hormones screaming and honestly it is surprising I haven't acted out worse than I have at the moment. Mostly...	SerenityRUS	11	895	Jan 12, 2018 by serenity47
	new to this (Preview) Hi not sure if I'm posting this right as I'm a bit technophobic. To put in picture briefly I'm in dilemma as I can't sit and watch him drink (he doesnt want siezures - hes had three) and i can't stand it and don't want to be controlled when to go out. Where to on tap? We have no children (he has) and I have no fami...	ling	10	748	Jan 12, 2018 by ling
	There are no winners (Preview) Hi all, my AH and I are separated he lives with his parents. We have 2 dogs and he comes to visit them and walk them frequently, I have been very reasonable in allowing him to do this considering how badly he has treated myself and the kids. However on every visit I never know what mood he is going to be in, we h...	allywoo	7	634	Jan 12, 2018 by AnnieFenk321
	Courage to Change 1/11/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP - happy Thursday. Today's Quote from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism --- "For me, alcoholism has proven to be a bittersweet legacy - bitter, because of the pain I suffered, and sweet, because if it weren't for that pain, I wouldn't have searched for and found a better way of living." Today'...	Iamhere	5	554	Jan 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	Honesty....this may be naive or just plain ignorant! (Preview) Hi all, Where is the line that goes from compulsive liar to addiction based lies? I have tried to post this a few times today and have been embarrassed to ask. The AF in my life has a horrific lying issue. It totally blows my mind andnnnn sets me on edge more than when she relapses. No honesty=no relations...	Tude	7	729	Jan 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	Dropping By to Say Hi (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted here, but I do still read this board every now and then (usually right around my Al-Anon anniversary, which will be 9 years in February). Just wanted to share that life is good, and certainly that is an understatement compared to 9 years ago when I walked into my first A...	Green Eyes	5	585	Jan 11, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	real quick update (Preview) I just want to give y'all an update on my mom. She is getting guardianship from the state. I will not be responsible for her. It is now out of my hands. I thank HP for looking out for her. Some might think it isharsh including family members. I just need to know that I am doing the right thing. She us very ill. ...	Hoot Nanny	2	511	Jan 11, 2018 by Lyne
	what would have helped you? (Preview) Hi I have a friend whose husband's alcoholism is progressing, but they are both in denial about it. I am watching the illness worsen, as it always does, with his behavior growing more and more destructive. I am familiar with alcoholism as both my parents and various family members are alcoholics. I'm...	hiraeth	7	662	Jan 11, 2018 by hiraeth
	Focusing on you for a change (Preview) hi, ive posted some grim depressive stuff on here since October. my Relationship with Ex came to An abrupt end and it wasnt my choice and I found it hard. Massively hard. I had self doubt no confidence and I was broken the fact they wouldnt speak or acknowledgw or show any remorse was probably the most...	CarlyH	5	551	Jan 10, 2018 by Jerry F
	I am having a really hard time! :( (Preview) Hi all, I just have something I really want to share and I hope that by letting it go here, I can start to move on. I am flooded with self-doubt and self hate at the moment. I posted in an earlier post about deciding to go to my home country to be with my family during the time when my husband is in his 8 month r...	AnnieFenk321	6	651	Jan 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change January 10 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about breaking the cycle of worry and fear. The author shares that when they focus on worry and fear, their thoughts can become obsessive, they can become relentlessly critical of themselves, and lose the ability to accomplish anything useful. F...	Skorpi	8	1053	Jan 10, 2018 by DavidG
	Insight on leaving my spouse (Preview) I have been working through the "Blueprint for Progress" booklet and I am not sure if it's because of that or what, but I woke up this morning with this thought... I have been having a hard time with blaming my spouse for the end of our 29 year marriage. While it is true that the alcoholism and addictive beh...	PosiesandPuppies	9	695	Jan 10, 2018 by Enigmatic
	Post-rehab relationship (Preview) My... boyfriend (?) and I met a little over a year ago at the beginning of a relapse for him. Of course, the depth of his addiction were not known to me until we were too far gone, so to speak. 2 rehabs and a heat layer and here we are. Heâs been sober for a longer period of time than Iâve ever known him to be, and I...	jessiefred86	4	545	Jan 10, 2018 by Tude
	just like to post (Preview) I am just posting to update now & then. I am not in any crisis I have to tell myself. If only my mom wasn't. From what I am getting, she is now AWOL. I have yet to hear from her. She hasn't called or I haven't gotten a call. I guess this affects me in 3 ways: I am grateful I am not her, I am saddened of she being mi...	Hoot Nanny	5	533	Jan 10, 2018 by Jerry F
	Not allowed to go to a book launch! (Preview) I have been working for four years with a group of people on publishing a book. The book launch is next month. I would very much love to be there. Last month my AH said I should go. Today, just out of the blue, he says I have no business going to that event, no one needs me there. I said nothing. Did not ask for an...	Carmine	6	590	Jan 10, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	ODAT Reading 1-9-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 9 speaks about how confusing and disturbing,living with the disease of alcoholism can be. It suggests that often we reject God and the help we can receive . Without the God of our understanding going it alone only makes matters worse. When we finally see that going it ...	hotrod	4	592	Jan 9, 2018 by mamalioness
	Walking on eggshells (Preview) 11 days sober for AH and I feel like Iâm the one about to crack. Thereâs been very little communication between us aside from general pleasantries until Friday, when we did have a real conversation - nothing alcohol related. Then back to nothing much yesterday. Thereâs a huge wall between us and even t...	Twinkies	9	763	Jan 9, 2018 by sad_dog_mommy
	Help! (Preview) For about the last 6 months, I have been attending 5 or 6 alanon meetings a week. I go to the meetings, but didn't get a sponsor and rarely share. I just listen. The weather where I live has gotten really icy and snowy, with temperatures well below zero. About a month ago, I started using the weather as an ex...	Buckeye Girl	5	533	Jan 9, 2018 by hotrod
	Great news (Preview) ive been searching all over for me an apartment,I live in a house I rent right now been looking for a change , and im so excited to say I've finally found where I want to go,for some here remember me downsizing for a long time now, pits finally happening ,the way it came about was strange is why I know without...	lookingup	10	535	Jan 9, 2018 by Tude
	Trusting the process (Preview) It's been so long since I worked the 12 Steps, I had forgotten the hidden things they can bring up. I was of course, focusing on all the things that were driving me crazy when I came back into Al-anon. Those things that are buried, bring up pain, embarrassment,anxiety and all sorts of just yuk surfaced!...	Tude	12	612	Jan 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	fears and dealing with my mother (Preview) I just want to share and leave this here that I have a lot of fear surrounding the coming transition. I have to speak to our land lord today. I am ready to pay the lease as long as it takes to find a new tennant and I want to uphold my contractual obligations but I am fearful about him being angry at me and I stil...	AnnieFenk321	7	579	Jan 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	sorry about the business section mistake (Preview) I am very sorry about trying something new that I didn't know I did & appreciate Betty for drawing attention to it. It was so nice of her to mention in a post. I am so grateful that pencil have erasers. Much more to post about my mom. She is out the hands of the county we live in & probably won't be seen...	Hoot Nanny	2	433	Jan 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	New Year update (Preview) I havnt seen my XAH in 2 years. Yet I use Alanon principles everyday. I love and live with a wonderful guy who happens to be a hoarder and has his share of anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. It is a challenging relationship and we have the usual misunderstandings. However, at the beginning we set rules o...	YARNCRAZY	4	430	Jan 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Nowhere to go (Preview) I haven't posted in awhile, but have been attending meetings when I can, though do not yet have a sponsor. For awhile I thought I was gaining some ground, but am starting to wonder if I was just kidding myself. The holiday was a bad one for me with family scattered across the country, the anniversary of my...	Lee51	12	2722	Jan 8, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	How to deal with a alcoholic parent who has an untreated traumatic brain injury? (Preview) Hello, Recently my mom moved back to the state she is from. She is now with her sisters and brothers and parents. I recently got married and I live in the same state too, just trying to finish my last semester of university. I am struggling because my mom causes me a lot of stress. She has always had an issue...	larust93	10	650	Jan 8, 2018 by Jerry F
	Jan 7 Hope for Today (Preview) Good morning everyone- I hope you are all are warm and comfortable... the temp in my corner of the world is currently a balmy -7 Fahrenheit:) Todays reading is a focus on our saying about the three Cs: I didnt cause it, I cant control it, and I cant cure it. I have always appreciated the message of this sayi...	yanksfan51	9	720	Jan 8, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 1/8 (Preview) Let go and let God: Today's reading talks about the empowerment we can truly feel, when we accept that we are powerless over the alcoholic and all her problems. The writer understood that his alcoholic had her own Higher Power, and that HP and the A could work out her life circumstances. The writer...	Lyne	6	535	Jan 8, 2018 by Aline
	Parenting 101 (Preview) Very long 72 hours, there have been lots of arguments, crying, and tantrums (oddly enough not from me!!). I sure did pull from my tool box and really tried to focus on the fact we didn't know anything until Thursday. At the moment my kid has lost adult status. I do not believe that just because someone...	SerenityRUS	11	581	Jan 8, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	It's not being done "to" me (Preview) This is a truism that keeps coming back to me in cycles throughout my recovery. I get so caught up in what is going on around me in my job, personal life and other areas (mostly job these days), that I forget none of my hardships are really things being done "to" me so that I can suffer. None of my challenge...	pinkchip	29	6349	Jan 8, 2018 by milkwood
	I'm here----been sick (Preview) Hi!! and belated Happy New Year!!! Well I began the new year with the flu...congestion/infected sinuses and chest...I was thrashed.....Feeling a bit better each day, but its slow... I could complain, feel like the victim, feel like "oh another bad year" but EVERYONE I know has either gotten it or...	mamalioness	3	500	Jan 7, 2018 by Jerry F
	Making decisions? (Preview) Hi friends, I wanted to ask your ESH about making decisions early on in recovery. I know that it is advised not to make major decisions during the first 6 months of recovery. Unfortunately, I don't think I am going to get that choice. I am going to have to make some decisions, because my husband has bee...	AnnieFenk321	7	754	Jan 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	1 step forward, 2 steps back (Preview) Sitting with something that happened. I thought I would share, see what I get back... So last Friday evening, my spouse called me at work from rehab. I did not answer as I can't while I am at work. The message was that he got some official kind of document and he had all these questions about what it was. He a...	PosiesandPuppies	11	622	Jan 7, 2018 by Maresie
	struggling with 'higher power' (Preview) Hi guys, I've been reading the step one to al anon. I fully agree that alcoholism is a disease, has affected me and my family in many ways which are negative and that I cannot control or change my A. However, I'm struggling with the higher power bit. When I was young I went extremely spiritual and after...	nyan23	26	3042	Jan 7, 2018 by Maresie
	ODAT Reading 1-6-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for January 6.reminds us that attending Al-Anon meetings helps us to see that we are not alone and that others have problems that are equally as difficult. When we begin to realize that others have problems more difficult than our own, and are facing them with courage and confiden...	hotrod	3	650	Jan 6, 2018 by Tigger
	when to try couples counseling (Preview) My husband is an addict (alcohol and opiates). He's yet to truly go into recovery. He's trying - has some white knuckle periods - but nothing too much more than that. I've been in regular individual therapy regarding this for approx. 3 years now. We've discussed couple's therapy - he and I. I k...	kayS	14	2906	Jan 6, 2018 by Lil99
	Newbie introduction (Preview) Hello everyone - been reading lots of posts from lots of people on lots of forums lately. You all seem like such a warm and welcoming group that I thought Iâd jump in and introduce myself. Iâm still pretty new to practicing the mindset that Alanon prescribes but I can already tell a difference in my life....	Twinkies	13	2988	Jan 5, 2018 by Jen61
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.