Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mollyann · mollyann

I hate secrets. I don't like lying. When I was growing up I was told by my mother to lie. I lied to my teachers, I lied to my grandmother. I learned to lie a lot. It was very easy. Little kids are not emotionally mature enough to know about lying. There is a difference betweem lying about a surprise b...

gardengal · gardengal

I thought that if I stopped enabling the alcoholic in my life, the drinking would stop. When the drinking seemed to get worse instead of better, once again I thought I had done something wrong. I was still trying to control alcoholism and its symptoms, Alanon helped me to learn that I am powerless, I can...

Barbara · Barbara

On the way to Bridgewater brother complained of chest pains. They brought him to Lemuel Shattuck. He spoke w/my mother. She says he sounds broken. They had him in leg irons & cuffs. He is up on assault & battery charges, not domestic abuse charges (which is the same, right?) He wants my mother t...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I attended my first F2F meeting last night. It was a little strange. I liked it though. I didn't talk. I was feeling shy. The thing that surprised me was that everyone was talking about themselves. No one mentioned their A. Not once. So that got me...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hi Ya'll , Ya know we had the discussion in chat about TX and carwashes? Well , here's the picture I was talking about . Thought I might share it with ya'll. LOL!!!!

Love each and everyone of ya, thought ya might get a laugh outta this! Jonibaloni21 -- Edited by jonibal...

7713Elizabeth · 7713Elizabeth

How do you begin to talk to your best friend about his problem when you know he is an alcoholic and he doesn’t know that you know? I live in the USA and he lives in Scotland, but we do spend a lot of time together. We work together via the internet, and have traveled extensively. We went to New Zealand last y...

confused · confused

OMG I acted like such an idiot today. My A seemed to push just the right buttons and everything that I have been keeping in just came flying out of my mouth. Looking at actions and not listening to words, I have been keeping it all in. All the stuff that he says he is going to do, but not doing, well I let is all o...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Good Morning Everyone, Just wanted to say thanks again to those who posted some ESH on my last Friday post. I did take the kids to my mom's. Funny that his house guests did not show up. Of course he was angry with me when I arrived home and started packing; which I don't get because he...

ashraven · ashraven

My A is taking Campral now. It is completely new to me...something I've never heard of before. But it is supposed to help alcoholics overcome their dependency. Anyone else had any experience with it?

jcon · jcon

Hey all, Jcon here, need some help. I am looking for a sponsor and the meetings that i can attend I am the only guy there. Need some suggestions or help in maybe finding an online sponsor temporarily until i can get one where i live or something. Any and a...

jmath31 · jmath31

Hi all! I am a little scaird to write this down becuase I am not very good with words. Here goes. I am in a relationship with a man that has been clean and sober for over 6 years. He is a miracle! I also have A father who also uses drugs. My dilemma lately has been that I have been obe...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

My husband is now home for rehab. I am having such mixed emotions. Just can't even look at him and, not sure how I feel. I realize the road ahead is a very delicate one. Many changes have taken place within me. Trying to focus what is best for me has become cloudy. Trying to put the needs and wants of my childr...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful caring and sharing your own personal stories. I look forward to reading them daily. Okay, remember, he's the one who told me over the phone that he wanted a divorce, he didn't want to come back home, he didn't want me to fly out to see him, he told me...

sandie123 · sandie123

I go to 3 different F2F meetings and each one has a different effect on me. One I feel like I can say anything. The second one I have trouble saying anything at all... so I ususally remain quiet. The third one is sort of in-between. I have have phone lists for all of them.&...

jmath31 · jmath31

Can anyone recommend a step book that i could buy. I would really like to start writing and getting a sponsor. thanks

Kim2 · Kim2

I was wondering if I should try taking a doctor prescribed anti-depressant until I have some more of the program to build on. I try to stay away from prescribed drugs when possible but I'm feeling really down and it's starting to affect me physically and spiritually. Any experience anyo...

Cyn · Cyn

I went to Florida this weekend to visit my new friend who I met in Chicago. I had a blast - he took me to Sanibel Island for the weekend which was gorgeous, bought me two dozen roses, treated me to a terrific trip. We crammed alot in two days - went to the beach both days to watch the sunset, sunri...

red hook · red hook

Hi, Been in Alanon for 15 years, & have often wondered about closing with the "Our Father". Finally, a member pointed out that from his position as a non-Christian, this prayer could not be said. I am a Christian , but it disturbs me to see the group, holding hands & saying the "Our Father", &...

2D1S · 2D1S

I want to be able to just say that my husband is a drunk and then just pretend like he doesn't exist. But how do I do that and go on about my days when my daughter can't even have a sleepover with her friends at our house because I never know if or what kind of shape my A will come home in. I can't take the risk that I...

Barbara · Barbara

She filed the report. There was enough from talking with my brother to have him arrested for elderly abuse charges without her having to testify. I called the courthouse to see "what happened" yesterday as my mother called me today to call me a liar, say I knew what was going on when I have no idea, etc....

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

im really struggling with the whole thing of my a and i separating. i didnt want this, i just wanted peace for the night and for us to stop reacting on eachother. why couldnt i just stop and think before i reacted. right now i feel more miserable then i ever was when the a did relapse. i told him to leave becau...

sdisnie · sdisnie

If they finally obtain sobriety when no longer with you?!?!?!? If he finally does it after trying for so many years, I would definately feel, for the rest of my life that it really was me, that only him leaving me meant he could finally be healthy. That would be very hard to live with, especi...

2D1S · 2D1S

I am new here and really glad to have found this site. I have been trying to attend meetings but due to lack of assistance/support and a child with medical problems...I often don't have anyone to stay with my child. I have purchased a bunch of the materials and have read them all. I have been...

marmare · marmare

Just a quick update on the new job. We found a compromise at our last meeting over the weekend. I will work a few Saturdays to learn the business, their products, pricing etc. Then if the fit is comfortable I will give notice at my present job. So see, it does all work out. ...

captcodee · captcodee

I am a woman therefore, I am emotional I got home from work today, and the dog got out of her kennel, and had destroyed the house. My husband was not home I almost left my marraige over this. I could go on for pages and pages... would you read it? I wouldn't.

I yelled at God f...

marmare · marmare

I think yesterday had to be one of the nicest days since my A got clean and sober. We woke up and my A made us breakfast, we watched a movie, just laying in bed. Then when I wrote the grocery list, he volunteered to go shopping with me. It's been years since we went grocery shopping toget...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Today my husband will be home from rehab. Not sure how to feel about it, he has been gone about two months...took him awhile to go to detox after I threw him out. Kids really want him to come home. I am not sure at all how to react to the situation. I am still angry, hurt, disappointed and just down right p'd. R...

Phil · Phil

SELF ESTEEM, SELF LOVE and SELF CENTEREDNESS by Nancy Poitou, M.A., M.F.T. I have been asked often about what is self-esteem, self-love and self-centeredness. These are very good questions and it is a fine line that separates these concepts. Self esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, fe...

ditto · ditto

What does "ESH" mean? Thank you for your help.

UncleLou · UncleLou

Need some help sorting this out. As my ex wife and I are trying to figure out whether we can work things out, we are still living in the same house with our 2 kids. She has moved back to our bedroom a few months ago. A strange living arrangement, I know. (The buyers of our house backed out on the deal, so we st...

sparkette · sparkette

I am walking around the house - like a nut - of course everyone else is sitting on their butts not doing a dang thing. And I have to ask myself - "What am I so pissed about - exactly??" OK it isn't that they aren't doing anything cause I could get them involved one way or another if I really wanted too. I am ticke...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I will be heading out next week for some time alone to make my final decision, although I think I it is pretty much being made for me every day in his actions. Please pray that I won't be selfish and that I will think of all envolved in this decision to stay or go. It h...

Gailey · Gailey

If my A (who is my son), is living with me in a separate guesthouse, goes out and doesn't come home all night sometimes, and I am not ready to make him leave yet, should I just ignore it and not ask any questions? I know he will lie so how do I just let it go so I am not worrying all the time. Most of the time I have be...

maresie · maresie

I have been looking closely at the issue of boundaries with the A as he is able to blur the boundaries and crash over mine so well. We have been 5 years into a relationship that has been one that has been essentialy boundaryless for me most of the time. I have bought a my own storyline about h...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i enjoy doing 5k run/walk with friends. so far i have ran for abused wives, cancer, AIDS, children's hospital,...ect. i feel they are a good pick me up and nice time away from the kids, while still helping a good cause. does anyone know of some sort of 5k run/walk that benefits alcoholic families, fam...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

First of all, may I just say an enormous thank you to everyone on the boards. I really did not expect the understanding and support that I have received here. I haven't been to a F2F meeting yet, but I plan to go today or tomorrow. (Wednesday is my birthday so I want to go at least once be...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Those of you that have kept up with my crazy insane story, and helped me out with your comments. Thank you, I love you all. Yesterday my husband told me from 1000 miles away he wanted a divorce, yadayadayada, you know the story. I had called my parents because I really have no one el...

sas · sas

Today is one of those days when I think I just hate my A husband. Well, hate is a strong word....let's say really, really, really don't like right now. He is sticking his nose into where it doesn't belong. He has almost a year of recover...

DeAnna · DeAnna

I figure there are 3 roads that I could take. 1) What if I choose to be on that negative road of despair & hopeless thought, ya know that "you" road, it's "your fault", "you should have"? And what if he too stays on this negative road? Well, I guess then there are tw...

tea2 · tea2

This was sent to me from my aunt, I hope it's not too preachy (will leave some of it out) I happen to love the story. Since she knows my on going goal (ok quest) of “letting go” and “detachment” I believe that my HP (God for me) was working when she told me of this and then sent the e-mail

**...

kitty · kitty

"You can't control the wind but you can set your sails."

allison · allison

My A who moved out 5 weeks ago is mad at me because I went out with my friends from work last night.we went to the Eagles which really isn`t a bar..it`s a club and even families go there.I had fun had a few drinks and left my car there and got a ride from a sober friend.He has went out with friends on a monthly bas...

Barbara · Barbara

Ever notice when things are going well its easier to take care of yourself physically (diet, exercise, water) and the focus is less on spiritually? But when there's an issue youre more focused emotionally and taking care of yourself physically tends to slide? Ive noticed that taking care of mys...

iona54 · iona54

(from typo queen iona54!!) The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rasercreeh at Cmagbirde Utivernisy, it deson't mttear in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taot...

bob6502 · bob6502

General Business Group Conscience Meeting February 1, 2006 Chair: SenoraBob Co-Chair: Cabecka Agenda Items General Opening of Meeting followed by: OLD BUSINESS 1. Approval of Minutes from January meeting 2. Meeting Schedule and Request for Volunteers - SenoraBo...

John_R · John_R

I'm finally ready (after a mixture of procrastination and trouble with letting go) to work my fourth step. As a lot of you already know I'm a double winner and also ACoA, so this is going to get a little complicated for me. I don't have any illusions about never having to do this again, but I also w...

david62 · david62

Hi Everyone, I attended a district AA workshop yesterday on sponsorship. Got to hear 5 different speakers talking about different issues regarding being or needing a sponsor. It was quite good and I learned many things which I can certainly apply to my own Al-Anon program. (And just for the reco...

gardengal · gardengal

Dont wait to seek help. Anyone who has suffered from the effects of someone elses drinking faces constant emotional strains and pressures, and needs help in releiving these. You will find relief, understanding, support, and warmhearted help in an alanon family group. There you will, as one member...

maresie · maresie

I am working really hard on not collecting any more resentments with the A. It is very difficult because he is always acting out in some way. Lately he has been on a dope binge. The financial aspect of that is bad enough (because he is hopelessly mired in debt) but there is a health aspect of i...

cabma · cabma

My A went out after work yesterday and hasn't come home yet. Today I found him in a sleazy hotel and confronted him (again). He said he wasn't ready and I should just leave him alone. Then I came home and read some of the posts here. (I read mostly, only posted a few times). ...

kissers · kissers

SHIFTING GEARS: THE ADULT CHILD AND SUCCESSFUL THERAPY By: Tarpley M. Long, LCSW Over the ten years I have worked with ACOAs and other codependents, my clients have presented me with an almost bewildering array of problems. Despite their diversity, however, a number of unifying them...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

I went to a f2f the other day. It was a pretty small meeting. So, I shared my dirty laundry. Not to often I do that. I had a real need to get things out though. I have a male sponsor and he is from AA. At first he was just going to help me until we found a woman to help me. ...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hi Friends, About a week and a half ago, my ex-boyfriend, whom I was letting walk my dog and just being friends with, got drunk and walked to a friend of his in these apts. The friend called ME and wanted me to come get him as he was almost passing out. I told the friend that I couldn't get him or carry him to m...

flintfeet · flintfeet

ok, this is going to be long. it was really a disaster yesturday, and i need to talk to someone. some backround info: my sister and dad (A) live in the same apt complex (NOT same apt, though). her and i are NOT talking with my dad b/c we don't approve of his life situation. Anyway.....

WakingUp · WakingUp

I'm having a really hard time going to meetings the past few weeks. I feel very isolated and am not really making friends except for one couple. I'm trying to hang in there and see if this is just a mood that will pass, but it's discouraging that I've felt like this three weeks in a row now.&nb...

Barbara · Barbara

Spoke w/my mother today. Told her after she cancelled court Fri morn I called the lady at the courthouse. She got mad! Told me I went behind her back (which I did). Does not see that Ive been hearing soooo much about the abuse for over a year now that its time I finally do something! Told her I can file the rep...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, Does anyone know of any new evidence or studies on the past usage of meth/drugs/alcohol in the male or female and birth defects or future developmental problems? With all the different drugs that addicts may have used that have such toxic chemicals in them, I ca...

marmare · marmare

Good Morning! So I have an opportunity to have this new job. My job satisfaction has been low since last September. This job is for a company that does erosion control, the pay is the same but after 90 days there is pay review and full family benefits, so why am I having problems sealing th...

Barbara · Barbara

We're having one at my F2F next Sat

cdb · cdb

Hello debilyn, I was channel surfing today and saw part of the Miss Americal Pageant. One of the contestants had a pet pig and it did tricks for her. I thought fondly of you and of all the care and support you have given me. I am glad you have been a part of my life in alanon. cdb :)

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	secrets and lying (Preview) I hate secrets. I don't like lying. When I was growing up I was told by my mother to lie. I lied to my teachers, I lied to my grandmother. I learned to lie a lot. It was very easy. Little kids are not emotionally mature enough to know about lying. There is a difference betweem lying about a surprise b...	mollyann	6	655	Feb 1, 2006 by maresie
	ITS HARD TO STOP ACTING AS i HAVE IN THE PAST (Preview) I thought that if I stopped enabling the alcoholic in my life, the drinking would stop. When the drinking seemed to get worse instead of better, once again I thought I had done something wrong. I was still trying to control alcoholism and its symptoms, Alanon helped me to learn that I am powerless, I can...	gardengal	2	291	Feb 1, 2006 by mebjk
	brother didnt make it to Bridgewater - chestpains went to Lemuel Shattuck Hosp (Preview) On the way to Bridgewater brother complained of chest pains. They brought him to Lemuel Shattuck. He spoke w/my mother. She says he sounds broken. They had him in leg irons & cuffs. He is up on assault & battery charges, not domestic abuse charges (which is the same, right?) He wants my mother t...	Barbara	7	414	Feb 1, 2006 by Barbara
	First Meeting (Preview) I attended my first F2F meeting last night. It was a little strange. I liked it though. I didn't talk. I was feeling shy. The thing that surprised me was that everyone was talking about themselves. No one mentioned their A. Not once. So that got me...	paintthinnr	7	331	Feb 1, 2006 by mebjk
	Cowboy Washes Cow in Carwash (Preview) Hi Ya'll , Ya know we had the discussion in chat about TX and carwashes? Well , here's the picture I was talking about . Thought I might share it with ya'll. LOL!!!! Love each and everyone of ya, thought ya might get a laugh outta this! Jonibaloni21 -- Edited by jonibal...	jonibaloni21	5	499	Feb 1, 2006 by Flora123
	How do you help a friend? (Preview) How do you begin to talk to your best friend about his problem when you know he is an alcoholic and he doesn’t know that you know? I live in the USA and he lives in Scotland, but we do spend a lot of time together. We work together via the internet, and have traveled extensively. We went to New Zealand last y...	7713Elizabeth	4	296	Feb 1, 2006 by notsonew1111
	how fast i spin out of control ESH please (Preview) OMG I acted like such an idiot today. My A seemed to push just the right buttons and everything that I have been keeping in just came flying out of my mouth. Looking at actions and not listening to words, I have been keeping it all in. All the stuff that he says he is going to do, but not doing, well I let is all o...	confused	5	363	Feb 1, 2006 by notsonew1111
	Made some big realizations this weekend... (Preview) Good Morning Everyone, Just wanted to say thanks again to those who posted some ESH on my last Friday post. I did take the kids to my mom's. Funny that his house guests did not show up. Of course he was angry with me when I arrived home and started packing; which I don't get because he...	twinmom2	3	286	Feb 1, 2006 by Rebecca
	Campral (Preview) My A is taking Campral now. It is completely new to me...something I've never heard of before. But it is supposed to help alcoholics overcome their dependency. Anyone else had any experience with it?	ashraven	3	367	Feb 1, 2006 by ashraven
	Sponsor (Preview) Hey all, Jcon here, need some help. I am looking for a sponsor and the meetings that i can attend I am the only guy there. Need some suggestions or help in maybe finding an online sponsor temporarily until i can get one where i live or something. Any and a...	jcon	3	335	Feb 1, 2006 by John_R
	Newbie (Preview) Hi all! I am a little scaird to write this down becuase I am not very good with words. Here goes. I am in a relationship with a man that has been clean and sober for over 6 years. He is a miracle! I also have A father who also uses drugs. My dilemma lately has been that I have been obe...	jmath31	7	459	Feb 1, 2006 by paintthinnr
	Trying Hard (Preview) My husband is now home for rehab. I am having such mixed emotions. Just can't even look at him and, not sure how I feel. I realize the road ahead is a very delicate one. Many changes have taken place within me. Trying to focus what is best for me has become cloudy. Trying to put the needs and wants of my childr...	Andrea12	2	284	Feb 1, 2006 by NottaClu
	What the heck is his deal now?! I just need to focus on me and my kids (Preview) Thanks to all of you for your wonderful caring and sharing your own personal stories. I look forward to reading them daily. Okay, remember, he's the one who told me over the phone that he wanted a divorce, he didn't want to come back home, he didn't want me to fly out to see him, he told me...	sdisnie	4	361	Feb 1, 2006 by Lindy
	I Could Use some ESH (Preview) I go to 3 different F2F meetings and each one has a different effect on me. One I feel like I can say anything. The second one I have trouble saying anything at all... so I ususally remain quiet. The third one is sort of in-between. I have have phone lists for all of them.&...	sandie123	5	441	Feb 1, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Step book (Preview) Can anyone recommend a step book that i could buy. I would really like to start writing and getting a sponsor. thanks	jmath31	2	381	Feb 1, 2006 by kitty
	Anti-Depressants (Preview) I was wondering if I should try taking a doctor prescribed anti-depressant until I have some more of the program to build on. I try to stay away from prescribed drugs when possible but I'm feeling really down and it's starting to affect me physically and spiritually. Any experience anyo...	Kim2	8	447	Jan 31, 2006 by notsonew1111
	A bit of reflecting (Preview) I went to Florida this weekend to visit my new friend who I met in Chicago. I had a blast - he took me to Sanibel Island for the weekend which was gorgeous, bought me two dozen roses, treated me to a terrific trip. We crammed alot in two days - went to the beach both days to watch the sunset, sunri...	Cyn	2	441	Jan 31, 2006 by cdb
	Spiritual, or Religious prayer. (Preview) Hi, Been in Alanon for 15 years, & have often wondered about closing with the "Our Father". Finally, a member pointed out that from his position as a non-Christian, this prayer could not be said. I am a Christian , but it disturbs me to see the group, holding hands & saying the "Our Father", &...	red hook	8	1079	Jan 31, 2006 by red hook
	How do I do it? (Preview) I want to be able to just say that my husband is a drunk and then just pretend like he doesn't exist. But how do I do that and go on about my days when my daughter can't even have a sleepover with her friends at our house because I never know if or what kind of shape my A will come home in. I can't take the risk that I...	2D1S	6	483	Jan 31, 2006 by 2D1S
	my mother filed - brother started his 30days at Bridgewater yesterday! (Preview) She filed the report. There was enough from talking with my brother to have him arrested for elderly abuse charges without her having to testify. I called the courthouse to see "what happened" yesterday as my mother called me today to call me a liar, say I knew what was going on when I have no idea, etc....	Barbara	2	287	Jan 31, 2006 by bobump
	my feelings (Preview) im really struggling with the whole thing of my a and i separating. i didnt want this, i just wanted peace for the night and for us to stop reacting on eachother. why couldnt i just stop and think before i reacted. right now i feel more miserable then i ever was when the a did relapse. i told him to leave becau...	notsonew1111	4	457	Jan 31, 2006 by hudsond
	Doesn't it make U feel like U really were to blame ......... (Preview) If they finally obtain sobriety when no longer with you?!?!?!? If he finally does it after trying for so many years, I would definately feel, for the rest of my life that it really was me, that only him leaving me meant he could finally be healthy. That would be very hard to live with, especi...	sdisnie	8	392	Jan 31, 2006 by jemco518
	divorce? (Preview) I am new here and really glad to have found this site. I have been trying to attend meetings but due to lack of assistance/support and a child with medical problems...I often don't have anyone to stay with my child. I have purchased a bunch of the materials and have read them all. I have been...	2D1S	4	538	Jan 31, 2006 by 2D1S
	Happy Compromise (Preview) Just a quick update on the new job. We found a compromise at our last meeting over the weekend. I will work a few Saturdays to learn the business, their products, pricing etc. Then if the fit is comfortable I will give notice at my present job. So see, it does all work out. ...	marmare	5	332	Jan 31, 2006 by notsonew1111
	My Melt down (but we like chocolate melted anyhow...) (Preview) I am a woman therefore, I am emotional I got home from work today, and the dog got out of her kennel, and had destroyed the house. My husband was not home I almost left my marraige over this. I could go on for pages and pages... would you read it? I wouldn't. I yelled at God f...	captcodee	3	338	Jan 31, 2006 by sas
	A Nice Day & Prayer Request (Preview) I think yesterday had to be one of the nicest days since my A got clean and sober. We woke up and my A made us breakfast, we watched a movie, just laying in bed. Then when I wrote the grocery list, he volunteered to go shopping with me. It's been years since we went grocery shopping toget...	marmare	4	454	Jan 31, 2006 by leo
	coming home from rehab (Preview) Today my husband will be home from rehab. Not sure how to feel about it, he has been gone about two months...took him awhile to go to detox after I threw him out. Kids really want him to come home. I am not sure at all how to react to the situation. I am still angry, hurt, disappointed and just down right p'd. R...	Andrea12	6	334	Jan 30, 2006 by lin0606
	An article about self.... (Preview) SELF ESTEEM, SELF LOVE and SELF CENTEREDNESS by Nancy Poitou, M.A., M.F.T. I have been asked often about what is self-esteem, self-love and self-centeredness. These are very good questions and it is a fine line that separates these concepts. Self esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, fe...	Phil	1	381	Jan 30, 2006 by captcodee
	ESH (Preview) What does "ESH" mean? Thank you for your help.	ditto	2	790	Jan 30, 2006 by captcodee
	'Ex' lover still in the picture? Am I being unreasonable? (Preview) Need some help sorting this out. As my ex wife and I are trying to figure out whether we can work things out, we are still living in the same house with our 2 kids. She has moved back to our bedroom a few months ago. A strange living arrangement, I know. (The buyers of our house backed out on the deal, so we st...	UncleLou	13	596	Jan 30, 2006 by ditto
	ticked at myself (Preview) I am walking around the house - like a nut - of course everyone else is sitting on their butts not doing a dang thing. And I have to ask myself - "What am I so pissed about - exactly??" OK it isn't that they aren't doing anything cause I could get them involved one way or another if I really wanted too. I am ticke...	sparkette	9	476	Jan 30, 2006 by maresie
	Prayers needed (Preview) I will be heading out next week for some time alone to make my final decision, although I think I it is pretty much being made for me every day in his actions. Please pray that I won't be selfish and that I will think of all envolved in this decision to stay or go. It h...	jrtjosey	11	467	Jan 30, 2006 by Andrea12
	What to do????? (Preview) If my A (who is my son), is living with me in a separate guesthouse, goes out and doesn't come home all night sometimes, and I am not ready to make him leave yet, should I just ignore it and not ask any questions? I know he will lie so how do I just let it go so I am not worrying all the time. Most of the time I have be...	Gailey	3	350	Jan 30, 2006 by maresie
	boundaries (Preview) I have been looking closely at the issue of boundaries with the A as he is able to blur the boundaries and crash over mine so well. We have been 5 years into a relationship that has been one that has been essentialy boundaryless for me most of the time. I have bought a my own storyline about h...	maresie	8	517	Jan 30, 2006 by maresie
	anyone know??? (Preview) i enjoy doing 5k run/walk with friends. so far i have ran for abused wives, cancer, AIDS, children's hospital,...ect. i feel they are a good pick me up and nice time away from the kids, while still helping a good cause. does anyone know of some sort of 5k run/walk that benefits alcoholic families, fam...	flintfeet	3	701	Jan 30, 2006 by sparkette
	just kidding (myself) (Preview) First of all, may I just say an enormous thank you to everyone on the boards. I really did not expect the understanding and support that I have received here. I haven't been to a F2F meeting yet, but I plan to go today or tomorrow. (Wednesday is my birthday so I want to go at least once be...	paintthinnr	2	297	Jan 30, 2006 by paintthinnr
	Me Today (Preview) Those of you that have kept up with my crazy insane story, and helped me out with your comments. Thank you, I love you all. Yesterday my husband told me from 1000 miles away he wanted a divorce, yadayadayada, you know the story. I had called my parents because I really have no one el...	sdisnie	4	307	Jan 30, 2006 by Jeannie
	STOP THE INTERFERENCE (Preview) Today is one of those days when I think I just hate my A husband. Well, hate is a strong word....let's say really, really, really don't like right now. He is sticking his nose into where it doesn't belong. He has almost a year of recover...	sas	4	423	Jan 30, 2006 by Christy
	The road we choose. (Preview) I figure there are 3 roads that I could take. 1) What if I choose to be on that negative road of despair & hopeless thought, ya know that "you" road, it's "your fault", "you should have"? And what if he too stays on this negative road? Well, I guess then there are tw...	DeAnna	2	413	Jan 30, 2006 by hudsond
	Two Monks - Letting Go (Preview) This was sent to me from my aunt, I hope it's not too preachy (will leave some of it out) I happen to love the story. Since she knows my on going goal (ok quest) of “letting go” and “detachment” I believe that my HP (God for me) was working when she told me of this and then sent the e-mail **...	tea2	6	484	Jan 30, 2006 by DeAnna
	choice/destiny (Preview) "You can't control the wind but you can set your sails."	kitty	9	400	Jan 30, 2006 by DeAnna
	double standard (Preview) My A who moved out 5 weeks ago is mad at me because I went out with my friends from work last night.we went to the Eagles which really isn`t a bar..it`s a club and even families go there.I had fun had a few drinks and left my car there and got a ride from a sober friend.He has went out with friends on a monthly bas...	allison	8	419	Jan 30, 2006 by DeAnna
	taking care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually - ever notice when (Preview) Ever notice when things are going well its easier to take care of yourself physically (diet, exercise, water) and the focus is less on spiritually? But when there's an issue youre more focused emotionally and taking care of yourself physically tends to slide? Ive noticed that taking care of mys...	Barbara	5	1599	Jan 30, 2006 by DeAnna
	for all of you who worry about typos :)) (Preview) (from typo queen iona54!!) The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rasercreeh at Cmagbirde Utivernisy, it deson't mttear in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taot...	iona54	9	449	Jan 30, 2006 by toto12
	Group Conscience Meeting (Preview) General Business Group Conscience Meeting February 1, 2006 Chair: SenoraBob Co-Chair: Cabecka Agenda Items General Opening of Meeting followed by: OLD BUSINESS 1. Approval of Minutes from January meeting 2. Meeting Schedule and Request for Volunteers - SenoraBo...	bob6502	0	438	Jan 30, 2006 by bob6502
	Working 4th Step (Preview) I'm finally ready (after a mixture of procrastination and trouble with letting go) to work my fourth step. As a lot of you already know I'm a double winner and also ACoA, so this is going to get a little complicated for me. I don't have any illusions about never having to do this again, but I also w...	John_R	8	424	Jan 30, 2006 by bob6502
	Assumptions (Preview) Hi Everyone, I attended a district AA workshop yesterday on sponsorship. Got to hear 5 different speakers talking about different issues regarding being or needing a sponsor. It was quite good and I learned many things which I can certainly apply to my own Al-Anon program. (And just for the reco...	david62	8	547	Jan 30, 2006 by bob6502
	HELP YOURSELF NOW (Preview) Dont wait to seek help. Anyone who has suffered from the effects of someone elses drinking faces constant emotional strains and pressures, and needs help in releiving these. You will find relief, understanding, support, and warmhearted help in an alanon family group. There you will, as one member...	gardengal	3	349	Jan 30, 2006 by doxie
	Resentments (Preview) I am working really hard on not collecting any more resentments with the A. It is very difficult because he is always acting out in some way. Lately he has been on a dope binge. The financial aspect of that is bad enough (because he is hopelessly mired in debt) but there is a health aspect of i...	maresie	3	371	Jan 29, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Trying to be strong (Preview) My A went out after work yesterday and hasn't come home yet. Today I found him in a sleazy hotel and confronted him (again). He said he wasn't ready and I should just leave him alone. Then I came home and read some of the posts here. (I read mostly, only posted a few times). ...	cabma	9	465	Jan 29, 2006 by rosie light shines
	An ACOA Article "Shifting Gears" (Preview) SHIFTING GEARS: THE ADULT CHILD AND SUCCESSFUL THERAPY By: Tarpley M. Long, LCSW Over the ten years I have worked with ACOAs and other codependents, my clients have presented me with an almost bewildering array of problems. Despite their diversity, however, a number of unifying them...	kissers	2	380	Jan 29, 2006 by kissers
	Progress not perfection (Preview) I went to a f2f the other day. It was a pretty small meeting. So, I shared my dirty laundry. Not to often I do that. I had a real need to get things out though. I have a male sponsor and he is from AA. At first he was just going to help me until we found a woman to help me. ...	ZiggyDoodles	3	1009	Jan 29, 2006 by Maria123
	How Can I Forgive This? Adult Content!!! (Preview) Hi Friends, About a week and a half ago, my ex-boyfriend, whom I was letting walk my dog and just being friends with, got drunk and walked to a friend of his in these apts. The friend called ME and wanted me to come get him as he was almost passing out. I told the friend that I couldn't get him or carry him to m...	jonibaloni21	11	520	Jan 29, 2006 by david62
	what a diaster, why? (Preview) ok, this is going to be long. it was really a disaster yesturday, and i need to talk to someone. *some backround info:* my sister and dad (A) live in the same apt complex (NOT same apt, though). her and i are NOT talking with my dad b/c we don't approve of his life situation. Anyway.....	flintfeet	5	488	Jan 29, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Feeling Isolate & Wanting to Quit My F2F (Preview) I'm having a really hard time going to meetings the past few weeks. I feel very isolated and am not really making friends except for one couple. I'm trying to hang in there and see if this is just a mood that will pass, but it's discouraging that I've felt like this three weeks in a row now.&nb...	WakingUp	10	891	Jan 29, 2006 by gardengal
	Mother is mad at ME! Is this where I Let Go/Let God? or push forward w/it? (Preview) Spoke w/my mother today. Told her after she cancelled court Fri morn I called the lady at the courthouse. She got mad! Told me I went behind her back (which I did). Does not see that Ive been hearing soooo much about the abuse for over a year now that its time I finally do something! Told her I can file the rep...	Barbara	3	342	Jan 29, 2006 by irish54
	The addict and birth defects? (Preview) Hello friends, Does anyone know of any new evidence or studies on the past usage of meth/drugs/alcohol in the male or female and birth defects or future developmental problems? With all the different drugs that addicts may have used that have such toxic chemicals in them, I ca...	cdb	4	841	Jan 29, 2006 by cdb
	so why am I second guessing (Preview) Good Morning! So I have an opportunity to have this new job. My job satisfaction has been low since last September. This job is for a company that does erosion control, the pay is the same but after 90 days there is pay review and full family benefits, so why am I having problems sealing th...	marmare	3	366	Jan 29, 2006 by leo
	what goes on at a Business Meeting? (Preview) We're having one at my F2F next Sat	Barbara	2	347	Jan 28, 2006 by lin0606
	debilyn :) (Preview) Hello debilyn, I was channel surfing today and saw part of the Miss Americal Pageant. One of the contestants had a pet pig and it did tricks for her. I thought fondly of you and of all the care and support you have given me. I am glad you have been a part of my life in alanon. cdb :)	cdb	2	304	Jan 28, 2006 by cdb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.