Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello group, Thank you to all who answered my post on Friday. I do feel like I'm making progress in learning to accept that this disease is only part of the problem. The other part of the problem is me, and my desire to control everything in my life. Some days I am so angry at my...

Barbara · Barbara

just spoke with my mother who isnt making sense to me right now either. She said there may be another trial when brother gets finished with Bridgewater Feb 28th. Guess he's up on 2 charges. If guilty there may be more jailtime. He's talking about a 1/2way house. They want to send him for Anger Management...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

i can see a little bit how me and my a's separation is a good thing. before i asked him to leave, he was slacking on going to meetings. because i atended alanon meetings at the same time and place as his meetings, i too was slacking on my meetings. if he wasn't going i didnt go. the past week i can truely see how...

nycbt · nycbt

I am growing so much lately. I am on step three. I have become an op and been able to help alot of people out. It is a great feeling. My husband and I are getting along. I am having a good life at this moment. My job is going good. -- Edited by nycbt at 13:07, 2006-02-06

jkl · jkl

Just posting to say this is the first time I've been on this site and I REALLY need advice, I love my dad sooo much and I miss him being the dad and me being the kid! I don't know what to do to help him!!!! He's trying so many things, the bible, rehab, and AA. Am I just selfish wanting him to grow up?? HELP Reply if...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I play a computer game, Shanghai, it is a match the tiles game and when you clear the board a little saying pops up. Today, the saying was "Your realism will avoid unpleasant surprises." Sometimes I often think the timing of these sayings is pretty funny. Last night as I was tryin...

Barbara · Barbara

Ive often thought of journaling (again). Im so afraid of ppl finding what Im writing though. Do you journal? do you find it helpful? When/how did you start? When you read Daily Meditation books do you find yourself highlighting certain parts?

allison · allison

My A Rarely calls. Called tonight to see what was going on. told him I was having friends over for superbowl(I live in Detroit area so very big this year)Called 3 times to ask me if I had a guy over...told him yes,I had 3 guys over but they had wives with them...each time he hung up he said he loved me...hasn`...

Barbara · Barbara

and son notices Dad says 1 thing 1 minute and completely opposite the next! The words coming from his mouth are twisted! But at least Im not the only one hearing them! Im not going nuts! (well not more so - lol)

jkl · jkl

Hi My dad is an alcoholic, trying so hard to recover, but His life sucks so bad, I can't help thinking that I would just want to get drunk if I were in his shoes. He's 54 or 55, got divorced from his wife of almost 30 years, got 2 DD's doesn't have a license or a job, bouncing checks left and right, owes everyone...

ditto · ditto

He is drinking very heavily constantly now. He has become delusional. He is accusing me of cheating on him (which I am not) but if he doesn't knock this stuff off, I may start just to give him something real to complain about. Is this a normal progress of the addiction that their brain cel...

Barbara · Barbara

but beyond that how do we know their backgrounds? How do we know who will be best for us? This meeting has ppl raise their hands before we break into groups. Im looking for a female with an active drinking husband and maybe another family member. Someone who knows the jail and rehab systems. How do I find t...

penny · penny

Hi I have been to 3 meetings, although I do visit this site daily. This might seem ignorant but what exactly does a sponser do, when do you get one and how will I benefit etc. as yet no one has mentioned sponser's at the meetings. Also at meeting...

sdisnie · sdisnie

GO STEELERS!!!

Barbara · Barbara

Since Im bad at words is there a poem/song lyrics I can print out to enclosed in a card to my brother who just entered rehab/jail? What about lyrics for a mother who just had to commit their child? Id like to send them both a little comfort - thank you

DeAnna · DeAnna

Am I enabling? I don't buy liquor, look for it, nor spill it out. I refuse to wash his liquor cups, or messes. If he breaks something accidently, he cleans it up. If he passes out in an awkward position or on the floor, I leave him there. I never wake him for work, no do his c...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay, sometimes when I sit here and read posts, my mind starts turning with all kinds of questions. I want to see what kinds of answers I get from this one: Why is it that we are supposed to completely step back from addicts and let them do what they want, chose their own paths, make their own decis...

Barbara · Barbara

Went to 4pm Mass yesterday. Priest has alot of 12step background which is why I left my church and joined his back in Oct. Definately identified myself w/him yesterday. He was speaking of rehab, Letting Go and that we can still have Hope. I have just never identified myself at Church in the past as much a...

maresie · maresie

This is an article on another kind of addiction. For some reason the idea of being able to spend years cleaning up a mess appeals to me. It means redemption for me. maresie Going to the dogs Having a bet in Britain has never been easier or more alluring. Online gambling is the new internet success story....

DeAnna · DeAnna

I'm married 17 yr. to a good person who happens to be an alcoholic. He comes home, bring $; cooks; cleans, isn't abusive mentally or physically. The bad, he goes into his little world alone & starts drinking till he passes out nightly. He has recently started see...

Barbara · Barbara

This was asked today in a f2f. Where can I find a link to AlAnon speaker tapes for the car? Thank you

mebjk · mebjk

Dear all, Thank you for being here. Until two months ago, I thought my life was in one of its most peaceful places. And it really was. In the past couple of months, though, lots of change has come into my life. My life has been riddled with alcoholic relationships, through the years. Thankfully, I am not l...

lilleah · lilleah

I think I am on the verge of an anxiety attack. My A went to pittsburgh to his friends house and a whole bunch of them are going out. Not to any "clubs" he said, just local. Anyway, this friend of his is a pig. He cheats on every woman he is with, including his ex wife. that is what started my anxiety. I have all t...

allison · allison

My A husband has been gone atleast 6 weeks and hasn`t given me any money.Has seen the kids 3 times for ten minutes.One day he will call me and say he loves me,the next I`m a b***c and he wants a divorce.Then I wont hear from him for days.when he comes over he picks fights with me and makes me miserable.He call...

DeAnna · DeAnna

I've left an addition to my earlier post of: Please I need your thougts.

koala · koala

Hi everybody, Thanks to everybody who replied to my posting. This is the first time I meet people who understand my situation. My friends don't. They want me to throw my A out so I would be happy and peaceful and get on with my own life. They don't understand that he is a real nice guy when he is sober (that...

ditto · ditto

I get closer and closer to the door. But, it seems to be taking forever before I can go through it. I am impatient... but, I have always been impatient. In order to divorce him I must first sell the business that we own jointly. It is on the market. It is listed with a realt...

Barbara · Barbara

Just wondering what type of treatment my a brother (charged with assault & battery) may be going through. Daily/hourly(?) AAmeetings? would there be anger management classes? What do they do with ppl in rehab? When do these ppl finally get through the anger and decide to listen?

Barbara · Barbara

one of the the tooth sockets where 2 teeth were removed at 3pm Fri (its now 5am Sat) wont stop throwing bloodclots! I havent slept more than 1/2hr at a time (if that). I keep watching the time go by on the clock. I need some physical and mental rest! This has been a very very difficult week. Now it looks lik...

Barbara · Barbara

I attended a M & a W f2f back in Oct. But due to the excuse of "Its to late in the day" never returned. Was hiding the fact that I attend AlAnon from husband. I did find a Sat morn and do attend every week. (Yesterday I got out of bed, didnt shower/brush teeth put on a baseball hat and off I went - ya I wasnt fee...

Kim · Kim

My A has been home from rehab for 5 days. He has been doing the right thing by me, taking care of things around the house, had his taxes done and paid off some bills, applied for some jobs....today he went to a meeting and was a half hour late. He called but after the half hour. When he cam...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello Group, I got up the nerve last night to have a discussion with my "a" about our relationship and where things are headed. He has been very distant but not cold, just not affectionate. He said calmly to me that he meant what he said last Friday night about wanting to pay his half of the...

lilleah · lilleah

thanks to everyone who responded to my nervous breakdown post. It helped me a lot. anyway, my A called me 8 TIMES last night! I either didn't hear the phone b/c I was sleeping, or it didn't ring b/c we were having MAJOR phone problems last night, where if I was able to call out, no one could really hear me. I d...

Jayda · Jayda

When my brother attended detox and they started talking about God and a higher power he was totally turned off by it. He says that the AA steps are just some sort of a cult where they push religion on a person. Is there any alternative to this part? I know they say that your higher power doesn't necessarily...

Feather · Feather

My appologies for being off topic on this board but..... I would like to ask you all to keep my 72yo Mum in your prayers. Twelve months ago we went through a horrible time, when she was diagnosed with cancer in both kidneys and the Bile Duct. She surprised her surgeons by getting through a huge...

Jayda · Jayda

Here's the story: my brother got a rebate check from the government for $400. He took off for the day yesterday, came back with $280. He said he paid $100 at the storage facility where he has been keeping some of his furniture (he had until yesterday to pay his bill or it would be auctioned off because he ha...

marmare · marmare

Okay, my A called said he had to tell me something. So I waited, of course if you keep the same playmates and play on the same playground you are bound to play the same games. He said....."I've been drinking and I just wanted to tell you, I'm very sorry, I don't want to fight. I calmly re...

WakingUp · WakingUp

I went to the dr today for a minor thing (follow up to quitting some meds) and she told me I have to quit stressing and take care of myself. I had a complete melt down and cried through the entire time I was there (I'm not a cryer, normally.) She's echoing Al-Anon, and I guess I just don't feel up...

gardengal · gardengal

We know something is very wrong but we cant figure out what it si or we think we have identified the problem but can never seem to solve it. We may suspect that drinkign has something to do with our situaiton, but we dont rea want to think about it: afterall alcoholism can be embarrassing. Or we may be acute...

marmare · marmare

Thank you all! My A did show up, we didn't talk about his drinking very much. He was intoxicated as I thought he would be. He had drank, but I think my brain pictured a stumbling drunk man. We did however talk about feelings, about nothing changing if nothing changes. That b...

lmt123 · lmt123

I just want to thank you all for your encouraging words. It helps to know I'm not alone, although at times of "war" with my daughter I feel helpless and alone. She has not moved out yet...I asked her if she was moving out, and she said no. I said, you have bags pac...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

today was a very difficult day.i had to go grocery shopping for the first time on my own. after proscastinating all day i decided to go. i actually did my makeup and hair too and looked and felt great. so i went and got my shopping done with a few hurdles. i couldnt reach some stuff off the top shelves but man...

maresie · maresie

Last year at this time my A came down with a debiliating illness. He developed a muscle disorder that left him in a great deal of pain and virtually bed ridden. I over identified with his illness because I have had my own illness. I did not wait to be asked to help. I jumped right in drew money out...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Wow! Today was great! The hubby is moving out. He has been packing all day. I have been doing a lot of thumb twittling and not sure what to do. I offered to lend a hand....not to get him out faster, but just to help. He didn't want any. That is fine. He s...

seachange · seachange

I was born in the UK in 1940, in Liverpool. My family was already in great disarray—my mother suffering from mental illness, and my dad an active alcoholic. They were very poor, and moved a lot. Six of their eight children had already died of infantile diseases such as diphtheria a...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i think i am dreaming. who do i think/hope he will be? my father is an A and i no longer am having contact with him. his behavior sickens me...anyway--he is on permenant social security disability (do to his drinking problem). i hold a bit of resentment for this b/c i have epilepsy(seizure disorder) a...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Well, do what you have to do. Get the travel channel on, or checkout a travel video, while on your treadmill, ha, ha. Close your eyes, or actually purchase a bus ticket, or an overnight stay w/a jacuzzi, but add this music for meditation! &...

Taryn · Taryn

I spent a lot of time, composing my thoughts, finding my words, trying to be as coherent as possible while feeling that my sanity was hanging by a thread. Satisfied with my efforts, I clicked the submit button -- but at the same moment, my internet service was interrupted. So it d...

hudsond · hudsond

Well, it has been one hell of a month!!! I knew something had been up, but I couldn't put my finger on it, finally last Tuesday he came home totally high--so much so he was paranoid--if I wasn't so upset about it I would have been laughing. (He was hearing noises.) I just kept thinking--you actually pay so...

Phil · Phil

What is a boundary?A boundary is the: Emotional and physical space between you and another person.Demarcation of where you end and another begins and where you begin and another ends.Limit or line over which you will not allow anyone to cross because of the negative impact of its being crossed in the...

seachange · seachange

Hi Everyone! Just want to share with you that I survived my Al-Anon lead! It was a leap, for sure, because I hadn't done one in about twenty years, and haven't heard any specifically Al-Anon leads--only AA and NA. It felt like doing all the steps at once! Admitting all the unm...

cdb · cdb

I am so sorry to hear about your doggy that was shot. (((((((((doggy))))))) Do you mind sharing anything about the situation or information. I will say prayers for his recovery and if possible, can you update us on him. That is so touching what your A said. It just shows how much they want to quit drinkin...

koala · koala

Hi everybody, I have recently joined and have attended 2 meetings so far. Alcoholism has affected my whole life. I grew up with an alcoholic father who was very abusive ( Sexually. verbally and emotionally) to us 4 children and my mother. I learned at an early age how to walk on eggshells and what...

bobump · bobump

Small example of not taking care of ourselves. I REALLY need a shower today. LOL. I hate taking them at night cause of the wonderful effects in the morning on the hair. LOL So this morning, I drive the A to work (sharing one car, and I have my f2f today). Get home, my one daughter hasn't gotten up. She ha...

nmike · nmike

Well, the last time I posted I had an appointment with a lawyer just to find out what my rights are married or divorced. I had to turn back because of the icey roads. Maybe this is prophetic because I probably could of made it but I was scared to death of driving on the roads. And I am scared to death to face rea...

ris · ris

Thanks for giving me an outlet! I appreciate your responses and respect your opinions and advise. I will try to make this long story short... My son is almost 25 and has been involved with drugs and alcohol since the age of 17. He has been married to a wonderful girl for almost 4 years...

flintfeet · flintfeet

why do i have to worry about my dad's problems? i feel like it's not fair to have to worry about something i didn't cause, can't control, but i can't accept it. for lack of a better word...this sucks!

findingmyway · findingmyway

Just wanted to say thanks for the chat last night. It was the first time I participated. I was having a bad night and really needed a meeting. It was so comforting to have one available. Thanks to everyone who was there!

sdisnie · sdisnie

I can't believe that it's almost been 2 months since I've seen my AH!!! And now it's been 9 days since I've spoken to him. He's still calling every morning at the same time leaving messages. I really believe he has done some major brain damage to his brain this time. He really s...

2D1S · 2D1S

Does verbal and emotional abuse and Alcholism always go together? I can't seem to separate them and I wonder if the Alcohol is causing the abuse or if this is a separate issue?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Acceptance (Preview) Hello group, Thank you to all who answered my post on Friday. I do feel like I'm making progress in learning to accept that this disease is only part of the problem. The other part of the problem is me, and my desire to control everything in my life. Some days I am so angry at my...	twinmom2	3	518	Feb 6, 2006 by Jill
	there may be another trial (Preview) just spoke with my mother who isnt making sense to me right now either. She said there may be another trial when brother gets finished with Bridgewater Feb 28th. Guess he's up on 2 charges. If guilty there may be more jailtime. He's talking about a 1/2way house. They want to send him for Anger Management...	Barbara	5	440	Feb 6, 2006 by abbyal
	a little bit of positivity (Preview) i can see a little bit how me and my a's separation is a good thing. before i asked him to leave, he was slacking on going to meetings. because i atended alanon meetings at the same time and place as his meetings, i too was slacking on my meetings. if he wasn't going i didnt go. the past week i can truely see how...	notsonew1111	3	384	Feb 6, 2006 by confused
	Growing (Preview) I am growing so much lately. I am on step three. I have become an op and been able to help alot of people out. It is a great feeling. My husband and I are getting along. I am having a good life at this moment. My job is going good. -- Edited by nycbt at 13:07, 2006-02-06	nycbt	3	424	Feb 6, 2006 by twinmom2
	Please.. I really need advice! (Preview) Just posting to say this is the first time I've been on this site and I REALLY need advice, I love my dad sooo much and I miss him being the dad and me being the kid! I don't know what to do to help him!!!! He's trying so many things, the bible, rehab, and AA. Am I just selfish wanting him to grow up?? HELP Reply if...	jkl	6	438	Feb 6, 2006 by kitty
	Realism (Preview) I play a computer game, Shanghai, it is a match the tiles game and when you clear the board a little saying pops up. Today, the saying was "Your realism will avoid unpleasant surprises." Sometimes I often think the timing of these sayings is pretty funny. Last night as I was tryin...	kismetstrand	7	435	Feb 6, 2006 by kitty
	do you journal? and when did you start? (Preview) Ive often thought of journaling (again). Im so afraid of ppl finding what Im writing though. Do you journal? do you find it helpful? When/how did you start? When you read Daily Meditation books do you find yourself highlighting certain parts?	Barbara	5	620	Feb 6, 2006 by dogscribe
	he`s so weird! (Preview) My A Rarely calls. Called tonight to see what was going on. told him I was having friends over for superbowl(I live in Detroit area so very big this year)Called 3 times to ask me if I had a guy over...told him yes,I had 3 guys over but they had wives with them...each time he hung up he said he loved me...hasn`...	allison	3	399	Feb 6, 2006 by allison
	Revelation! Im not crazy! Even our son is picking up on what husband says (Preview) and son notices Dad says 1 thing 1 minute and completely opposite the next! The words coming from his mouth are twisted! But at least Im not the only one hearing them! Im not going nuts! (well not more so - lol)	Barbara	2	460	Feb 6, 2006 by megan
	taking care of dad? (Preview) Hi My dad is an alcoholic, trying so hard to recover, but His life sucks so bad, I can't help thinking that I would just want to get drunk if I were in his shoes. He's 54 or 55, got divorced from his wife of almost 30 years, got 2 DD's doesn't have a license or a job, bouncing checks left and right, owes everyone...	jkl	2	431	Feb 6, 2006 by flintfeet
	Delusional (Preview) He is drinking very heavily constantly now. He has become delusional. He is accusing me of cheating on him (which I am not) but if he doesn't knock this stuff off, I may start just to give him something real to complain about. Is this a normal progress of the addiction that their brain cel...	ditto	6	443	Feb 6, 2006 by KathyS
	ok so they have those willing to be sponsors raise their hands at the meetings (Preview) but beyond that how do we know their backgrounds? How do we know who will be best for us? This meeting has ppl raise their hands before we break into groups. Im looking for a female with an active drinking husband and maybe another family member. Someone who knows the jail and rehab systems. How do I find t...	Barbara	7	506	Feb 6, 2006 by KathyS
	What exactly is a sponser (Preview) Hi I have been to 3 meetings, although I do visit this site daily. This might seem ignorant but what exactly does a sponser do, when do you get one and how will I benefit etc. as yet no one has mentioned sponser's at the meetings. Also at meeting...	penny	4	579	Feb 6, 2006 by penny
	GO STEELERS! (Preview) GO STEELERS!!!	sdisnie	4	354	Feb 6, 2006 by jkl
	poem/song lyrics to comfort someone just admitted to rehab/jail (Preview) Since Im bad at words is there a poem/song lyrics I can print out to enclosed in a card to my brother who just entered rehab/jail? What about lyrics for a mother who just had to commit their child? Id like to send them both a little comfort - thank you	Barbara	1	1787	Feb 6, 2006 by GammyRose
	am I enabling? (Preview) Am I enabling? I don't buy liquor, look for it, nor spill it out. I refuse to wash his liquor cups, or messes. If he breaks something accidently, he cleans it up. If he passes out in an awkward position or on the floor, I leave him there. I never wake him for work, no do his c...	DeAnna	4	862	Feb 6, 2006 by jkl
	Why is it with A's We have to leave them alone, but in the real world...... (Preview) Okay, sometimes when I sit here and read posts, my mind starts turning with all kinds of questions. I want to see what kinds of answers I get from this one: Why is it that we are supposed to completely step back from addicts and let them do what they want, chose their own paths, make their own decis...	sdisnie	7	508	Feb 6, 2006 by Lunamoth
	ever attend a religious service and REALLY identify with the priest/etc? (Preview) Went to 4pm Mass yesterday. Priest has alot of 12step background which is why I left my church and joined his back in Oct. Definately identified myself w/him yesterday. He was speaking of rehab, Letting Go and that we can still have Hope. I have just never identified myself at Church in the past as much a...	Barbara	4	391	Feb 5, 2006 by mebjk
	Gambling (Preview) This is an article on another kind of addiction. For some reason the idea of being able to spend years cleaning up a mess appeals to me. It means redemption for me. maresie Going to the dogs Having a bet in Britain has never been easier or more alluring. Online gambling is the new internet success story....	maresie	0	1792	Feb 5, 2006 by maresie
	Please, I need your thoughts..... (Preview) I'm married 17 yr. to a good person who happens to be an alcoholic. He comes home, bring $; cooks; cleans, isn't abusive mentally or physically. The bad, he goes into his little world alone & starts drinking till he passes out nightly. He has recently started see...	DeAnna	8	427	Feb 5, 2006 by lin0606
	link to AlAnon speaker tapes for car (Preview) This was asked today in a f2f. Where can I find a link to AlAnon speaker tapes for the car? Thank you	Barbara	5	678	Feb 5, 2006 by lin0606
	Lot of changes going on... (Preview) Dear all, Thank you for being here. Until two months ago, I thought my life was in one of its most peaceful places. And it really was. In the past couple of months, though, lots of change has come into my life. My life has been riddled with alcoholic relationships, through the years. Thankfully, I am not l...	mebjk	2	443	Feb 5, 2006 by maresie
	verge of breakdown (Preview) I think I am on the verge of an anxiety attack. My A went to pittsburgh to his friends house and a whole bunch of them are going out. Not to any "clubs" he said, just local. Anyway, this friend of his is a pig. He cheats on every woman he is with, including his ex wife. that is what started my anxiety. I have all t...	lilleah	5	529	Feb 5, 2006 by maresie
	am I wrong? (Preview) My A husband has been gone atleast 6 weeks and hasn`t given me any money.Has seen the kids 3 times for ten minutes.One day he will call me and say he loves me,the next I`m a b***c and he wants a divorce.Then I wont hear from him for days.when he comes over he picks fights with me and makes me miserable.He call...	allison	5	401	Feb 5, 2006 by koala
	addition: Please I need your thoughts (Preview) I've left an addition to my earlier post of: Please I need your thougts.	DeAnna	0	339	Feb 5, 2006 by DeAnna
	thanks to everybody from Koala (Preview) Hi everybody, Thanks to everybody who replied to my posting. This is the first time I meet people who understand my situation. My friends don't. They want me to throw my A out so I would be happy and peaceful and get on with my own life. They don't understand that he is a real nice guy when he is sober (that...	koala	0	341	Feb 5, 2006 by koala
	Decision (Preview) I get closer and closer to the door. But, it seems to be taking forever before I can go through it. I am impatient... but, I have always been impatient. In order to divorce him I must first sell the business that we own jointly. It is on the market. It is listed with a realt...	ditto	4	486	Feb 5, 2006 by DeAnna
	what exactly happens in a 30day rehab w/a jail sentence? (Preview) Just wondering what type of treatment my a brother (charged with assault & battery) may be going through. Daily/hourly(?) AAmeetings? would there be anger management classes? What do they do with ppl in rehab? When do these ppl finally get through the anger and decide to listen?	Barbara	1	358	Feb 5, 2006 by Flora123
	Just when I think my nights this wk cant get any worse (Preview) one of the the tooth sockets where 2 teeth were removed at 3pm Fri (its now 5am Sat) wont stop throwing bloodclots! I havent slept more than 1/2hr at a time (if that). I keep watching the time go by on the clock. I need some physical and mental rest! This has been a very very difficult week. Now it looks lik...	Barbara	4	398	Feb 5, 2006 by bobump
	How many f2f do you attend? and when did you finally "up your program"? (Preview) I attended a M & a W f2f back in Oct. But due to the excuse of "Its to late in the day" never returned. Was hiding the fact that I attend AlAnon from husband. I did find a Sat morn and do attend every week. (Yesterday I got out of bed, didnt shower/brush teeth put on a baseball hat and off I went - ya I wasnt fee...	Barbara	2	416	Feb 5, 2006 by ednaxray
	a few days in and impatient (Preview) My A has been home from rehab for 5 days. He has been doing the right thing by me, taking care of things around the house, had his taxes done and paid off some bills, applied for some jobs....today he went to a meeting and was a half hour late. He called but after the half hour. When he cam...	Kim	5	453	Feb 5, 2006 by lin0606
	Allowing myself to heal (Preview) Hello Group, I got up the nerve last night to have a discussion with my "a" about our relationship and where things are headed. He has been very distant but not cold, just not affectionate. He said calmly to me that he meant what he said last Friday night about wanting to pay his half of the...	twinmom2	7	510	Feb 5, 2006 by notsonew1111
	advice needed. (Preview) thanks to everyone who responded to my nervous breakdown post. It helped me a lot. anyway, my A called me 8 TIMES last night! I either didn't hear the phone b/c I was sleeping, or it didn't ring b/c we were having MAJOR phone problems last night, where if I was able to call out, no one could really hear me. I d...	lilleah	3	383	Feb 5, 2006 by lin0606
	Higher Power (Preview) When my brother attended detox and they started talking about God and a higher power he was totally turned off by it. He says that the AA steps are just some sort of a cult where they push religion on a person. Is there any alternative to this part? I know they say that your higher power doesn't necessarily...	Jayda	3	434	Feb 5, 2006 by Barbara
	Off topic but.... (Preview) My appologies for being off topic on this board but..... I would like to ask you all to keep my 72yo Mum in your prayers. Twelve months ago we went through a horrible time, when she was diagnosed with cancer in both kidneys and the Bile Duct. She surprised her surgeons by getting through a huge...	Feather	9	606	Feb 5, 2006 by leo
	Enabling? (Preview) Here's the story: my brother got a rebate check from the government for $400. He took off for the day yesterday, came back with $280. He said he paid $100 at the storage facility where he has been keeping some of his furniture (he had until yesterday to pay his bill or it would be auctioned off because he ha...	Jayda	1	495	Feb 5, 2006 by leo
	Support Needed (Preview) Okay, my A called said he had to tell me something. So I waited, of course if you keep the same playmates and play on the same playground you are bound to play the same games. He said....."I've been drinking and I just wanted to tell you, I'm very sorry, I don't want to fight. I calmly re...	marmare	7	472	Feb 5, 2006 by Jayda
	Dr Tells Me to Take Care of Myself (Preview) I went to the dr today for a minor thing (follow up to quitting some meds) and she told me I have to quit stressing and take care of myself. I had a complete melt down and cried through the entire time I was there (I'm not a cryer, normally.) She's echoing Al-Anon, and I guess I just don't feel up...	WakingUp	6	441	Feb 4, 2006 by Jayda
	We know something is wrong, but-------- (Preview) We know something is very wrong but we cant figure out what it si or we think we have identified the problem but can never seem to solve it. We may suspect that drinkign has something to do with our situaiton, but we dont rea want to think about it: afterall alcoholism can be embarrassing. Or we may be acute...	gardengal	3	446	Feb 4, 2006 by bcanuck
	Last Night (Preview) Thank you all! My A did show up, we didn't talk about his drinking very much. He was intoxicated as I thought he would be. He had drank, but I think my brain pictured a stumbling drunk man. We did however talk about feelings, about nothing changing if nothing changes. That b...	marmare	4	440	Feb 4, 2006 by leo
	thanks for all the encouragement... (Preview) I just want to thank you all for your encouraging words. It helps to know I'm not alone, although at times of "war" with my daughter I feel helpless and alone. She has not moved out yet...I asked her if she was moving out, and she said no. I said, you have bags pac...	lmt123	9	538	Feb 4, 2006 by Maria123
	miss independent (Preview) today was a very difficult day.i had to go grocery shopping for the first time on my own. after proscastinating all day i decided to go. i actually did my makeup and hair too and looked and felt great. so i went and got my shopping done with a few hurdles. i couldnt reach some stuff off the top shelves but man...	notsonew1111	6	415	Feb 4, 2006 by Cyn
	overidentification (Preview) Last year at this time my A came down with a debiliating illness. He developed a muscle disorder that left him in a great deal of pain and virtually bed ridden. I over identified with his illness because I have had my own illness. I did not wait to be asked to help. I jumped right in drew money out...	maresie	5	423	Feb 4, 2006 by WakingUp
	What a great day! (Preview) Wow! Today was great! The hubby is moving out. He has been packing all day. I have been doing a lot of thumb twittling and not sure what to do. I offered to lend a hand....not to get him out faster, but just to help. He didn't want any. That is fine. He s...	ZiggyDoodles	3	446	Feb 4, 2006 by confused
	My abbreviated "Lead"--it's still fairly long! (Preview) I was born in the UK in 1940, in Liverpool. My family was already in great disarray—my mother suffering from mental illness, and my dad an active alcoholic. They were very poor, and moved a lot. Six of their eight children had already died of infantile diseases such as diphtheria a...	seachange	5	497	Feb 4, 2006 by seachange
	i'm dreaming (Preview) i think i am dreaming. who do i think/hope he will be? my father is an A and i no longer am having contact with him. his behavior sickens me...anyway--he is on permenant social security disability (do to his drinking problem). i hold a bit of resentment for this b/c i have epilepsy(seizure disorder) a...	flintfeet	2	372	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	BREAKAWAY - (Sing-A-Long) (Preview) Well, do what you have to do. Get the travel channel on, or checkout a travel video, while on your treadmill, ha, ha. Close your eyes, or actually purchase a bus ticket, or an overnight stay w/a jacuzzi, but add this music for meditation! &...	wallsal55	0	400	Feb 4, 2006 by wallsal55
	Newbie Post (2nd attempt) (Preview) I spent a lot of time, composing my thoughts, finding my words, trying to be as coherent as possible while feeling that my sanity was hanging by a thread. Satisfied with my efforts, I clicked the submit button -- but at the same moment, my internet service was interrupted. So it d...	Taryn	7	521	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	strangely enough calm (Preview) Well, it has been one hell of a month!!! I knew something had been up, but I couldn't put my finger on it, finally last Tuesday he came home totally high--so much so he was paranoid--if I wasn't so upset about it I would have been laughing. (He was hearing noises.) I just kept thinking--you actually pay so...	hudsond	6	410	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	An Article On Boundaries (Preview) What is a boundary?A boundary is the: Emotional and physical space between you and another person.Demarcation of where you end and another begins and where you begin and another ends.Limit or line over which you will not allow anyone to cross because of the negative impact of its being crossed in the...	Phil	5	707	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	Al-Anon Lead (Preview) Hi Everyone! Just want to share with you that I survived my Al-Anon lead! It was a leap, for sure, because I hadn't done one in about twenty years, and haven't heard any specifically Al-Anon leads--only AA and NA. It felt like doing all the steps at once! Admitting all the unm...	seachange	6	1430	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	Hudsond/about your doggy? (Preview) I am so sorry to hear about your doggy that was shot. (((((((((doggy))))))) Do you mind sharing anything about the situation or information. I will say prayers for his recovery and if possible, can you update us on him. That is so touching what your A said. It just shows how much they want to quit drinkin...	cdb	3	400	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	newcomer difficulty with the idea of detachment (Preview) Hi everybody, I have recently joined and have attended 2 meetings so far. Alcoholism has affected my whole life. I grew up with an alcoholic father who was very abusive ( Sexually. verbally and emotionally) to us 4 children and my mother. I learned at an early age how to walk on eggshells and what...	koala	9	740	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	not taking care of ourselves...small example. (Preview) Small example of not taking care of ourselves. I REALLY need a shower today. LOL. I hate taking them at night cause of the wonderful effects in the morning on the hair. LOL So this morning, I drive the A to work (sharing one car, and I have my f2f today). Get home, my one daughter hasn't gotten up. She ha...	bobump	9	648	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	No progress ..... (Preview) Well, the last time I posted I had an appointment with a lawyer just to find out what my rights are married or divorced. I had to turn back because of the icey roads. Maybe this is prophetic because I probably could of made it but I was scared to death of driving on the roads. And I am scared to death to face rea...	nmike	4	415	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	Needing Advise (Preview) Thanks for giving me an outlet! I appreciate your responses and respect your opinions and advise. I will try to make this long story short... My son is almost 25 and has been involved with drugs and alcohol since the age of 17. He has been married to a wonderful girl for almost 4 years...	ris	5	487	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	why??? (Preview) why do i have to worry about my dad's problems? i feel like it's not fair to have to worry about something i didn't cause, can't control, but i can't accept it. for lack of a better word...this sucks!	flintfeet	4	498	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	Thank You (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks for the chat last night. It was the first time I participated. I was having a bad night and really needed a meeting. It was so comforting to have one available. Thanks to everyone who was there!	findingmyway	1	348	Feb 4, 2006 by maresie
	Still trying to let him go (Preview) I can't believe that it's almost been 2 months since I've seen my AH!!! And now it's been 9 days since I've spoken to him. He's still calling every morning at the same time leaving messages. I really believe he has done some major brain damage to his brain this time. He really s...	sdisnie	3	584	Feb 3, 2006 by Kim
	verbal and emotional abuse (Preview) Does verbal and emotional abuse and Alcholism always go together? I can't seem to separate them and I wonder if the Alcohol is causing the abuse or if this is a separate issue?	2D1S	9	934	Feb 3, 2006 by ashraven
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