Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Barbara · Barbara

OMG! This lady does not make sense! I understand she has alot on her plate right now with my younger brother being in jail and facing rehab, etc. She's telling me 1/2 stories, starts on 1 thing and changes to another, etc, etc. I want to listen to her but she's not making sense. How much am I suppose to get in...

Barbara · Barbara

Is it actually step 10 that we do step 4 continuously? There are certain things I think of that can be considered Step 4. These arent thought of all at once.

Anttay · Anttay

I have been in denial for a long time, pretending all the bad things haven't happened and praying each day that things will get better. Yesterday my daughter asked my A if he still loved me, he said I do but mommy is being mean to him. This broke my heart, I have been reading a wonderful b...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I am going to my second alanon meeting tonight. I can't believe I have let so much time lapse. But it was my birthday and then I got the stomach flu, so I wasn't really able to leave the house much. I am trying a step meeting tonight. I don't know that I am on any step yet, maybe just...

kissers · kissers

I was accepted to go through a women's entrepreneur training program. After I was accepted I had my family if they would watch my daughter 3 evenings per week until the end of March when I would graduate. They said they would do it, no problem. Then the put downs and nasty phonecalls started about how I wa...

marmare · marmare

I drove to work this morning after the tough week I had. My A relapsed and I let him know how unacceptable this is right now in my life. That my plate is so full stuff is dripping off the edges and he needs to pull himself together. My mom had breast cancer 10 years ago and now they have fou...

Powerless · Powerless

Yesterday I sold my husband's dog for him. The dog had begun snapping at our two year old and I was afraid to have it around. My husband said he wanted to buy some shoes and a few other things with the money. Usually I would take the money and go buy what he needs so he doesn't have any cash...

Barbara · Barbara

Its starting to make more sense. Not only take care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically but to start feeling my emotions. Instead of thinking "Hes just so aggravating" its time to own those feelings "He make me feel bad" when he --- What is this AlAnon journey? a series of revelations...

Barbara · Barbara

Its been that way for a while now. Its at the point when I have something to say to him I go down in the basement where he "lives", take one look at him and turn around. I see in his eyes that he's been drinking and I know that the next morning he wont remember a word I say so I may as well forget it! Just came home...

Barbara · Barbara

Its a step meeting. I go to a Sat meeting where we break into 3 groups - begineer, discussion and step. I had sat in on Steps 2 and 3 in the past at that meeting. Tonights meeting happened to be on Step 4. Geesch guess Im meant to listen in on the steps!

Christy · Christy

Hi (((friends)))) First I want to to thank everyone for their prayers and phone calls. You all ar so important to me at this time. My hubby is still in ICU. As of yesterday he still did not know me, still climbing the walls and hallucinating. I'm also very grateful for my kids. They have truly ralli...

flintfeet · flintfeet

my parents are divorced (for 6yrs now). my mom left b/c she asked my dad to choose her or drinking. he chose drinking. my mom has no respect for my dad and just has a negative attitude about him. my dad and i have always been close. but now, i do not have any contact with him b/c of his actions and how h...

amy123 · amy123

I just wanted to give you a way to get in touch with me outside the chat room since we seem to have so much on common. I hope you are doing well.

Take care!! amy

Barbara · Barbara

What exactly is scapegoating? The Church I attend just sent a flyer asking parishioners to attend a Sun 2hr meeting. What does scapegoating mean to you? Im considering going. Thank you

doxie · doxie

Just wanted to give a quick update and get this down and out of my head. A/sons lawyer called me this morning. I have to be a character witness. Court is the 23rd of Feb. He told me that the max sentence for what son is charged with is 10 years in the state pen. The State's Attorney is asking for 4 years, an...

captcodee · captcodee

Three years ago (wow, already) my Grandfather passed away on Feb 17. He was the most special person in my life! The last time I talked to him, he called the day after Valentine's to wish me a happy valentine's day. I was seperated from the alcoholic in my life at the time. When I corrected him...

Nettie · Nettie

So, I'm really starting to feel this now. This is the second day this week where all I want to do is cry. Sleep and cry, sounds like a plan. The A calls all mad today because he has to pick the kids up from school, an hour early on top of it because school is done early today. He had to...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I listen to my heart I listen to the wind howling Blowing away my hair I know it is you Telling me that you care I feel your touch I hear your voice When all I have to do is make that one choice Just to listen to my heart I am throwing the dart ...

sandie123 · sandie123

I am working of giving things up to my HP. Trust has always been an issue with me and I am struggling with it here. I was wondering for those of you who fully trust your HP (and I know that is a whole lot of you) or even partially trust your HP, do you beleive that everything that is done i...

captcodee · captcodee

I just want to post an update on my situation. This is how the power of the program works... I posted yesterday about asking my husband not to come home (on Valentine's day) I received so much support on my feelings, that I actually started to think clearly again. He came home anyways.&nbs...

sandie123 · sandie123

The strong and solitary tree Stood high upon the hill It showed its strength and beauty Its shadows oh so still The people came and overtook That pretty tree one night It only had its sun burnt limbs To fight with all its might The tree did loose The axes won The tr...

kitty · kitty

I was told something that hurt me in chat last night and it is very important for me to talk about. Someone that doesn't knw me, made some accusations about my personal relationship with mother. My mother has always been the alove of my life. She has idealized me when I did what she...

doxie · doxie

As all/most of you know, I am having a rough time right now while waiting for the court sentencing of my A/son. To try to help myself and to try to gain some control over me..... Just for today..... I will be unfraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe as...

Amanda · Amanda

Well it's now officially been a month my A has been clean, after having returned from a very intensive rehab program that not only included antibuse, extreme aversion therapy, electroshock and more! He has been slow in getting off the couch though, attributing the lack of energy to his meds, weight l...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I had such a crappy day yesterday obsessing over my "a" and this person he's with. So I made the choice to go to a therapy session with our counselor last night. I just let it all out even letting her know that he is not sober and I'm still living with active alcoholism and denial. She sa...

Lindy · Lindy

My last post was the calm before the storm. Well, it didn't last long and the storm hit full force on Friday. Here's the story: I was going to take my husband and son out for supper Friday evening. My husband is laid off so he has no money. I was going to pay. I told him that I would pick my son up and meet him at ou...

Barbara · Barbara

The emotions are all over the place tonight. Son brought home a paper today saying he'll be in honors classes next year when he enters the high school! Yup Im proud/happy However, husband is in the basement getting drunk. At least Im doing good with one of them.

Lindy · Lindy

Okay, so my A has not been drunk in at least four days!! Of course, he's still drinking, but just hasn't been sloppy drunk. Anyway, now he is moping around the house, probably resenting me because I told him I would leave him if he keeps drinking. He HATES not being drunk. He's not totally sober either, bu...

Christy · Christy

My life has been turned upside down and I won't be able to chair this Thursday for the morning meeting. My husband is in the hospital in intensive care and I have thrown my back out with constant spasms. Beyond that, we both have bronchitis. I'm trying to take care of me and be there for him too, it's...

odaat · odaat

I am sitting here feeling so let down by my "A." He is so smart he is actually dumb. We are in the middle of doing some minor fix ups on our house, and he is doing nothing but drinking more and more. Yesterday I explained to him if the drinking continues we are wasting our time fixing up a ho...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hi Friends, I had an incredibly emotional weekend with myself and my children. I was able to post on Saturday evening and received some good support. Thank you. My "a" has moved on and living with another woman, driving her car with out a license and endangering himself and her a...

bobump · bobump

Yesterday my A tells me, if someone comes to the door tomorrow answer it. Hmmm.... am I getting a gift or divorce papers? Personally I'm not sure which would be worse. The papers because then I didn't file myself (weird thought huh?) or receiving a gift. I don't know if it's a codie thing or experien...

Lindy · Lindy

I know I've been on here a lot and I know all my posts are so long. I'm starting to come to a realization about my situation and my alcoholic husband. When I first met him two and a half years ago, I thought he was wonderful. He told me what a witch his ex-wife was and how he's had so many psycho girlfriends in th...

nycbt · nycbt

When I thought my boyfriend now husband was going to go to jail for ten years and I wasn’t over my ex boyfriend I sleep with ex boyfriend him a couple of times. My boyfriend now husband told me that he wasn’t mad because he knew this guy was taking advantage of me. He told me to let it go. I was angry with myself...

bcanuck · bcanuck

Well, my *a* has been away in Mexico for a week with a coworker, and I think I got more relaxation out of this week than he did

Sure gives you some space to think and clear your head when your *a* is out of the picture for a while....the question is what do you do with your newly cleared head...

findingmyway · findingmyway

Whoops...I don't know what happened. I just posted a note, but it never hit the board. I hope it doesn't post twice. I was saying that it's just after 7 pm here and I can't wait for this day to be over. It's been almost a month since my A husband moved out. It's been harder and more lonely than I ever imagine...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

hi guys happy LOVE DAY to all!!! well the worst work in my house re-decor is over and i feel like rigormortis is setting in my tired body!!! i checked my pulse this am to see if i was still alive!!! the place (floors) looks great!!! i'll tell ya, i was...

captcodee · captcodee

I am wavering so bad with the alanon principles. I asked my husband not to come home today. I don't want to see him today. I am so angry that all the things I do to try to make our marraige, home, and family better are useless. Because of alanon I stopped trying to change his alcohol use.&n...

Nettie · Nettie

So, we go through this program to make ourselves better whether or not we stay with our A. I'm chosing to stay with my A right now, so how does that work with disciplining the children? I tend to think he's hard and unreasonable. However, I can be just the oposite, letting things just...

captcodee · captcodee

Working with an alcoholic is hopeless. I tried to come up with a comprimize, tried to change my behavior, tried to let his behaviour go, nothing works! It is valentine's day, and I asked him not to come home today. Tomorrow, I will make a new decision. I need to figure out if this is worth doing.&...

sdisnie · sdisnie

My dad made me go and file for a restraining order today, in case my AH was to come back to this state to try to get in contact with the kids. I didn't want to do this, and the reason is because if for some reason he comes back to defend himself at the next court date which is in 14 days, I will have...

debilyn · debilyn

I am trying to remember if anyone else has ever talked about this. My A is staying at his friends mom's house with his friend. They are out in the garage. He calls this friend his, "budi" his "partner." Makes me ill. I mean they are in trouble together and everything else together. Where one go...

Lynn · Lynn

Well, I am new here, I see all of you and the stories sound all too familiar. I can say that I have gotten strength from knowing I'm not alone. Although I am alone in my life a lot of the time. My A chooses to go out drinking, and not stay home, he currently has a court date for the last drink...

megan · megan

This was the topic in my Friday night face to face meeting. The leader of the meeting had an eloquent share and then we all shared This weekend I watched my 3 nephews while my brother and his wife spent a romantic weekend in Florida. They are teenagers, 12, 14, and 16. ...

AlaMom · AlaMom

we get the messages - just so long as we get the message. Tonight I was putting youngest to bed and he did not want to sleep in his room because of nightmares last night. To take his mind of the nightmares and ease the fear I read him a story (something I admit to not doing enough of). As I am rea...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i have been keeping myself busy the past few days, and it feels great! i have not thought about my dad and worrying about him. but today something changed. i know it probably sounds corney, but i feel for him today. it's valentine's day, and everyone should have someone that loves them. i have my sister,...

kitty · kitty

Willingness to surrender, a willingness give up & into the process of life & the Program. It is so irritating the way other ppl chime in with their two cents & tell you how you should be living your life or what u should be doing, when their lives are in no state of 'model perfection.' ...

Emafer · Emafer

So, I've now had my most recent "A" boyfriend out of my life, for the most part, for 6 weeks. I've had no contact with him and things have been going really well. However, last week a financial matter came up that we were both responsible for. We thought that it was taken care of up as it turns out, we owe mone...

Cyn · Cyn

Happy Valentines Day to everyone - thanks for the love and support you have all given me!! Cynthia

rtexas · rtexas

I have been doing a lot of reading and thanks for all the feedback you have provided. I have a question.... For those living with an active A who does not think treatment for them is an option... Following the guidelines to make you better. Keeping in mind the 3Cs, detatching from...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i have been trying to stay positive. sometimes it just seems like it is more work to smile than to just sit here and complain. so i have been trying to find motivational things that cheer me up... ONE THING YOU CAN LEARN BY WATCHING THE CLOCK IS THAT IT PASSES TIME BY KEEPING ITS HANDS BUSY.--i find that i...

Barbara · Barbara

Before we go putting ourselves down even more, thinking we really arent worthy of life, can someone please explain "defect of character"?

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

just wanted to update you all. it's been a little over two weeks since my a has went to stay at his mother's. he did slip, which i knew, drank and did coke again, and we had a long talk today. i told him i really hope for his sake whether we have a future or not that he can get back on the aa track and if he does to cal...

Cyn · Cyn

Even though I broke up with my ex 3 months ago - doesnt mean I am truly over him. I thought I was so much further along than I really am. I am so busy doing my three jobs and living my life that I thought he was a distant memory. But not so much. Seems that I put him on the backburner eve...

tea2 · tea2

Hello all- I have a question.. Anyone know how I may tie in Tradition 2 with Concept 4 ??? I am drawing a blank with this.

Or what does Tradition2 and Concept 4 mean to you?

Phil Devoid · Phil Devoid

Hello everyone, I've been attending weekly Al-anon meetings since May. I need to find a sponcer now but my options are limited. I live in a remote area and the meeting I go to is 35 miles away. There is only one other male that attends reguarly. So I asked myself, why not look for an online sponcer? Is that e...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello all, I never get to post on the weekends because I don't have a computer, but I'm hiding out at my brother's and felt I needed to vent. Yesterday was an extremely emotional day. My "a" has moved out but the kicker is he's hooked up with an unsuspecting female at work and has obviously...

buzzfree · buzzfree

Isn't it funny how those new opportunities or directions in your life just seem to appear out of thin air? I am grateful that I have been able to grow through my participation in this program, or I would be completely lost in a maze of emotions right now. Not to say that what I am facing will be easy by any mea...

Powerless · Powerless

I am so furious that my hands are shaking as I type this. I had set a little bit of money aside and planned on going grocery shopping today. I just went into my purse to get the money and $100.00 was gone. Of course he had no idea were it went. He hadn't seen it. He was the only...

doxie · doxie

Just wanted to thank all who post here. This site has been a tremendous help to me in my recovery. Such experience, warmth and non-judgemental people. I am glad I found you all. Thanks for your service. In Recovery, Doxie

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	mother is not making sense - I want to support her (Preview) OMG! This lady does not make sense! I understand she has alot on her plate right now with my younger brother being in jail and facing rehab, etc. She's telling me 1/2 stories, starts on 1 thing and changes to another, etc, etc. I want to listen to her but she's not making sense. How much am I suppose to get in...	Barbara	0	437	Feb 16, 2006 by Barbara
	Is 4th step discovery/work continuous or is it all at once? (Preview) Is it actually step 10 that we do step 4 continuously? There are certain things I think of that can be considered Step 4. These arent thought of all at once.	Barbara	1	451	Feb 16, 2006 by abbyal
	Lies (Preview) I have been in denial for a long time, pretending all the bad things haven't happened and praying each day that things will get better. Yesterday my daughter asked my A if he still loved me, he said I do but mommy is being mean to him. This broke my heart, I have been reading a wonderful b...	Anttay	3	755	Feb 16, 2006 by Anttay
	Going back tonight (Preview) I am going to my second alanon meeting tonight. I can't believe I have let so much time lapse. But it was my birthday and then I got the stomach flu, so I wasn't really able to leave the house much. I am trying a step meeting tonight. I don't know that I am on any step yet, maybe just...	paintthinnr	2	513	Feb 16, 2006 by just me
	The rug is being pulled out from under me (Preview) I was accepted to go through a women's entrepreneur training program. After I was accepted I had my family if they would watch my daughter 3 evenings per week until the end of March when I would graduate. They said they would do it, no problem. Then the put downs and nasty phonecalls started about how I wa...	kissers	7	576	Feb 16, 2006 by Diva
	Accepting Support (Preview) I drove to work this morning after the tough week I had. My A relapsed and I let him know how unacceptable this is right now in my life. That my plate is so full stuff is dripping off the edges and he needs to pull himself together. My mom had breast cancer 10 years ago and now they have fou...	marmare	2	480	Feb 16, 2006 by leo
	I made progress...I think (Preview) Yesterday I sold my husband's dog for him. The dog had begun snapping at our two year old and I was afraid to have it around. My husband said he wanted to buy some shoes and a few other things with the money. Usually I would take the money and go buy what he needs so he doesn't have any cash...	Powerless	1	481	Feb 16, 2006 by jrtjosey
	"Focus on yourself instead of your A" (Preview) Its starting to make more sense. Not only take care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically but to start feeling my emotions. Instead of thinking "Hes just so aggravating" its time to own those feelings "He make me feel bad" when he --- What is this AlAnon journey? a series of revelations...	Barbara	1	741	Feb 16, 2006 by CAM0914
	ever just look at your A husband and just know not to even bother talking? (Preview) Its been that way for a while now. Its at the point when I have something to say to him I go down in the basement where he "lives", take one look at him and turn around. I see in his eyes that he's been drinking and I know that the next morning he wont remember a word I say so I may as well forget it! Just came home...	Barbara	5	631	Feb 16, 2006 by Powerless
	I went back to a meeting that I attended back in Oct (Preview) Its a step meeting. I go to a Sat meeting where we break into 3 groups - begineer, discussion and step. I had sat in on Steps 2 and 3 in the past at that meeting. Tonights meeting happened to be on Step 4. Geesch guess Im meant to listen in on the steps!	Barbara	3	519	Feb 16, 2006 by abbyal
	Update (Preview) Hi (((friends)))) First I want to to thank everyone for their prayers and phone calls. You all ar so important to me at this time. My hubby is still in ICU. As of yesterday he still did not know me, still climbing the walls and hallucinating. I'm also very grateful for my kids. They have truly ralli...	Christy	2	688	Feb 15, 2006 by bobump
	dying alone... (Preview) *my parents are divorced (for 6yrs now). my mom left b/c she asked my dad to choose her or drinking. he chose drinking. my mom has no respect for my dad and just has a negative attitude about him.* *my dad and i have always been close. but now, i do not have any contact with him b/c of his actions and how h...*	flintfeet	1	508	Feb 15, 2006 by Jayda
	Pofu stop here (Preview) I just wanted to give you a way to get in touch with me outside the chat room since we seem to have so much on common. I hope you are doing well. Take care!! amy	amy123	2	553	Feb 15, 2006 by amy123
	Scapegoating - define it please (Preview) What exactly is scapegoating? The Church I attend just sent a flyer asking parishioners to attend a Sun 2hr meeting. What does scapegoating mean to you? Im considering going. Thank you	Barbara	1	692	Feb 15, 2006 by flintfeet
	A/son jail update (Preview) Just wanted to give a quick update and get this down and out of my head. A/sons lawyer called me this morning. I have to be a character witness. Court is the 23rd of Feb. He told me that the max sentence for what son is charged with is 10 years in the state pen. The State's Attorney is asking for 4 years, an...	doxie	9	563	Feb 15, 2006 by mamasan
	My very special Day after Valentine's memory (Preview) Three years ago (wow, already) my Grandfather passed away on Feb 17. He was the most special person in my life! The last time I talked to him, he called the day after Valentine's to wish me a happy valentine's day. I was seperated from the alcoholic in my life at the time. When I corrected him...	captcodee	1	523	Feb 15, 2006 by marmare
	Hurtful (Preview) So, I'm really starting to feel this now. This is the second day this week where all I want to do is cry. Sleep and cry, sounds like a plan. The A calls all mad today because he has to pick the kids up from school, an hour early on top of it because school is done early today. He had to...	Nettie	5	688	Feb 15, 2006 by bcanuck
	A new poem of mine... (Preview) I listen to my heart I listen to the wind howling Blowing away my hair I know it is you Telling me that you care I feel your touch I hear your voice When all I have to do is make that one choice Just to listen to my heart I am throwing the dart ...	Lauren ashley	7	692	Feb 15, 2006 by Flora123
	HP take me away... HELP PLEASE! (Preview) I am working of giving things up to my HP. Trust has always been an issue with me and I am struggling with it here. I was wondering for those of you who fully trust your HP (and I know that is a whole lot of you) or even partially trust your HP, do you beleive that everything that is done i...	sandie123	9	869	Feb 15, 2006 by paintthinnr
	Thank you all for your ESH yesterday (Preview) I just want to post an update on my situation. This is how the power of the program works... I posted yesterday about asking my husband not to come home (on Valentine's day) I received so much support on my feelings, that I actually started to think clearly again. He came home anyways.&nbs...	captcodee	1	434	Feb 15, 2006 by hudsond
	Sadness... a poem i wrote (Preview) The strong and solitary tree Stood high upon the hill It showed its strength and beauty Its shadows oh so still The people came and overtook That pretty tree one night It only had its sun burnt limbs To fight with all its might The tree did loose The axes won The tr...	sandie123	3	771	Feb 15, 2006 by Lauren ashley
	the love of my life (Preview) I was told something that hurt me in chat last night and it is very important for me to talk about. Someone that doesn't knw me, made some accusations about my personal relationship with mother. My mother has always been the alove of my life. She has idealized me when I did what she...	kitty	9	664	Feb 15, 2006 by kitty
	Just For Today (Preview) As all/most of you know, I am having a rough time right now while waiting for the court sentencing of my A/son. To try to help myself and to try to gain some control over me..... Just for today..... I will be unfraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe as...	doxie	3	497	Feb 15, 2006 by kismetstrand
	One Month (Preview) Well it's now officially been a month my A has been clean, after having returned from a very intensive rehab program that not only included antibuse, extreme aversion therapy, electroshock and more! He has been slow in getting off the couch though, attributing the lack of energy to his meds, weight l...	Amanda	3	548	Feb 15, 2006 by captcodee
	A little ray of hope and me today (Preview) I had such a crappy day yesterday obsessing over my "a" and this person he's with. So I made the choice to go to a therapy session with our counselor last night. I just let it all out even letting her know that he is not sober and I'm still living with active alcoholism and denial. She sa...	twinmom2	2	546	Feb 15, 2006 by captcodee
	The Friday night disaster (Preview) My last post was the calm before the storm. Well, it didn't last long and the storm hit full force on Friday. Here's the story: I was going to take my husband and son out for supper Friday evening. My husband is laid off so he has no money. I was going to pay. I told him that I would pick my son up and meet him at ou...	Lindy	2	591	Feb 15, 2006 by paintthinnr
	son assigned to high school honors - husband getting drunk (Preview) The emotions are all over the place tonight. Son brought home a paper today saying he'll be in honors classes next year when he enters the high school! Yup Im proud/happy However, husband is in the basement getting drunk. At least Im doing good with one of them.	Barbara	7	553	Feb 15, 2006 by Barbara
	My A-either depressed or drunk (Preview) Okay, so my A has not been drunk in at least four days!! Of course, he's still drinking, but just hasn't been sloppy drunk. Anyway, now he is moping around the house, probably resenting me because I told him I would leave him if he keeps drinking. He HATES not being drunk. He's not totally sober either, bu...	Lindy	2	598	Feb 15, 2006 by megan
	Need Chairperson Thursday A.M. & Prayers (Preview) My life has been turned upside down and I won't be able to chair this Thursday for the morning meeting. My husband is in the hospital in intensive care and I have thrown my back out with constant spasms. Beyond that, we both have bronchitis. I'm trying to take care of me and be there for him too, it's...	Christy	7	713	Feb 15, 2006 by Christy
	Feeling Let Down (Preview) I am sitting here feeling so let down by my "A." He is so smart he is actually dumb. We are in the middle of doing some minor fix ups on our house, and he is doing nothing but drinking more and more. Yesterday I explained to him if the drinking continues we are wasting our time fixing up a ho...	odaat	8	739	Feb 15, 2006 by Lindy
	In the emotional soup trying to dig out.. (Preview) Hi Friends, I had an incredibly emotional weekend with myself and my children. I was able to post on Saturday evening and received some good support. Thank you. My "a" has moved on and living with another woman, driving her car with out a license and endangering himself and her a...	twinmom2	3	678	Feb 15, 2006 by Lindy
	well I have an oppostie problem of most Alanon's this Vday. (Preview) Yesterday my A tells me, if someone comes to the door tomorrow answer it. Hmmm.... am I getting a gift or divorce papers? Personally I'm not sure which would be worse. The papers because then I didn't file myself (weird thought huh?) or receiving a gift. I don't know if it's a codie thing or experien...	bobump	8	647	Feb 15, 2006 by paintthinnr
	The pattern is becoming clear (Preview) I know I've been on here a lot and I know all my posts are so long. I'm starting to come to a realization about my situation and my alcoholic husband. When I first met him two and a half years ago, I thought he was wonderful. He told me what a witch his ex-wife was and how he's had so many psycho girlfriends in th...	Lindy	3	625	Feb 15, 2006 by maresie
	painfully (Preview) When I thought my boyfriend now husband was going to go to jail for ten years and I wasn’t over my ex boyfriend I sleep with ex boyfriend him a couple of times. My boyfriend now husband told me that he wasn’t mad because he knew this guy was taking advantage of me. He told me to let it go. I was angry with myself...	nycbt	5	579	Feb 15, 2006 by maresie
	Vacation nearly over (Preview) Well, my a has been away in Mexico for a week with a coworker, and I think I got more relaxation out of this week than he did Sure gives you some space to think and clear your head when your a is out of the picture for a while....the question is what do you do with your newly cleared head...	bcanuck	4	494	Feb 15, 2006 by Maria123
	Is this day over yet? (Preview) Whoops...I don't know what happened. I just posted a note, but it never hit the board. I hope it doesn't post twice. I was saying that it's just after 7 pm here and I can't wait for this day to be over. It's been almost a month since my A husband moved out. It's been harder and more lonely than I ever imagine...	findingmyway	3	529	Feb 15, 2006 by Maria123
	HAPPY LOVE DAY!!!! (Preview) hi guys happy LOVE DAY to all!!! well the worst work in my house re-decor is over and i feel like rigormortis is setting in my tired body!!! i checked my pulse this am to see if i was still alive!!! the place (floors) looks great!!! i'll tell ya, i was...	rosie light shines	4	534	Feb 15, 2006 by bobump
	If you are solid in the program, I could sure use your help. (Preview) I am wavering so bad with the alanon principles. I asked my husband not to come home today. I don't want to see him today. I am so angry that all the things I do to try to make our marraige, home, and family better are useless. Because of alanon I stopped trying to change his alcohol use.&n...	captcodee	8	716	Feb 15, 2006 by cdb
	Question stemming from confusion (Preview) So, we go through this program to make ourselves better whether or not we stay with our A. I'm chosing to stay with my A right now, so how does that work with disciplining the children? I tend to think he's hard and unreasonable. However, I can be just the oposite, letting things just...	Nettie	3	524	Feb 15, 2006 by Jeannie
	Split again??? (Preview) Working with an alcoholic is hopeless. I tried to come up with a comprimize, tried to change my behavior, tried to let his behaviour go, nothing works! It is valentine's day, and I asked him not to come home today. Tomorrow, I will make a new decision. I need to figure out if this is worth doing.&...	captcodee	4	631	Feb 14, 2006 by Jeannie
	Restraining order (Preview) My dad made me go and file for a restraining order today, in case my AH was to come back to this state to try to get in contact with the kids. I didn't want to do this, and the reason is because if for some reason he comes back to defend himself at the next court date which is in 14 days, I will have...	sdisnie	6	681	Feb 14, 2006 by Jeannie
	he's in love (Preview) I am trying to remember if anyone else has ever talked about this. My A is staying at his friends mom's house with his friend. They are out in the garage. He calls this friend his, "budi" his "partner." Makes me ill. I mean they are in trouble together and everything else together. Where one go...	debilyn	9	657	Feb 14, 2006 by debilyn
	At a loss (Preview) Well, I am new here, I see all of you and the stories sound all too familiar. I can say that I have gotten strength from knowing I'm not alone. Although I am alone in my life a lot of the time. My A chooses to go out drinking, and not stay home, he currently has a court date for the last drink...	Lynn	9	649	Feb 14, 2006 by Powerless
	Freedom (Preview) This was the topic in my Friday night face to face meeting. The leader of the meeting had an eloquent share and then we all shared This weekend I watched my 3 nephews while my brother and his wife spent a romantic weekend in Florida. They are teenagers, 12, 14, and 16. ...	megan	7	615	Feb 14, 2006 by kitty
	Doesn't matter where... (Preview) we get the messages - just so long as we get the message. Tonight I was putting youngest to bed and he did not want to sleep in his room because of nightmares last night. To take his mind of the nightmares and ease the fear I read him a story (something I admit to not doing enough of). As I am rea...	AlaMom	5	604	Feb 14, 2006 by bd
	no one to love (Preview) i have been keeping myself busy the past few days, and it feels great! i have not thought about my dad and worrying about him. but today something changed. i know it probably sounds corney, but i feel for him today. it's valentine's day, and everyone should have someone that loves them. i have my sister,...	flintfeet	1	530	Feb 14, 2006 by bd
	willngness to surrender (Preview) Willingness to surrender, a willingness give up & into the process of life & the Program. It is so irritating the way other ppl chime in with their two cents & tell you how you should be living your life or what u should be doing, when their lives are in no state of 'model perfection.' ...	kitty	2	595	Feb 14, 2006 by maresie
	Deailing with your "A" (Preview) So, I've now had my most recent "A" boyfriend out of my life, for the most part, for 6 weeks. I've had no contact with him and things have been going really well. However, last week a financial matter came up that we were both responsible for. We thought that it was taken care of up as it turns out, we owe mone...	Emafer	5	705	Feb 14, 2006 by Emafer
	Happy Valentines Day (Preview) Happy Valentines Day to everyone - thanks for the love and support you have all given me!! Cynthia	Cyn	1	458	Feb 14, 2006 by Barbara
	Time for truth (Preview) I have been doing a lot of reading and thanks for all the feedback you have provided. I have a question.... For those living with an active A who does not think treatment for them is an option... Following the guidelines to make you better. Keeping in mind the 3Cs, detatching from...	rtexas	4	554	Feb 14, 2006 by rtexas
	this helps me (Preview) i have been trying to stay positive. sometimes it just seems like it is more work to smile than to just sit here and complain. so i have been trying to find motivational things that cheer me up... ONE THING YOU CAN LEARN BY WATCHING THE CLOCK IS THAT IT PASSES TIME BY KEEPING ITS HANDS BUSY.--i find that i...	flintfeet	2	485	Feb 14, 2006 by doxie
	what is a defect of character? (Preview) Before we go putting ourselves down even more, thinking we really arent worthy of life, can someone please explain "defect of character"?	Barbara	4	706	Feb 14, 2006 by jrtjosey
	progress again... (Preview) just wanted to update you all. it's been a little over two weeks since my a has went to stay at his mother's. he did slip, which i knew, drank and did coke again, and we had a long talk today. i told him i really hope for his sake whether we have a future or not that he can get back on the aa track and if he does to cal...	notsonew1111	4	554	Feb 14, 2006 by Diva
	This board is a good reminder for me (Preview) Even though I broke up with my ex 3 months ago - doesnt mean I am truly over him. I thought I was so much further along than I really am. I am so busy doing my three jobs and living my life that I thought he was a distant memory. But not so much. Seems that I put him on the backburner eve...	Cyn	1	473	Feb 13, 2006 by just me
	Tradition and Concept Question (Preview) Hello all- I have a question.. Anyone know how I may tie in Tradition 2 with Concept 4 ??? I am drawing a blank with this. Or what does Tradition2 and Concept 4 mean to *you*?	tea2	2	572	Feb 13, 2006 by Flora123
	olline sponcer? (Preview) Hello everyone, I've been attending weekly Al-anon meetings since May. I need to find a sponcer now but my options are limited. I live in a remote area and the meeting I go to is 35 miles away. There is only one other male that attends reguarly. So I asked myself, why not look for an online sponcer? Is that e...	Phil Devoid	5	592	Feb 13, 2006 by Barbara
	I think I'm finally grieving (Preview) Hello all, I never get to post on the weekends because I don't have a computer, but I'm hiding out at my brother's and felt I needed to vent. Yesterday was an extremely emotional day. My "a" has moved out but the kicker is he's hooked up with an unsuspecting female at work and has obviously...	twinmom2	4	543	Feb 13, 2006 by Lindy
	Another New Direction (Preview) Isn't it funny how those new opportunities or directions in your life just seem to appear out of thin air? I am grateful that I have been able to grow through my participation in this program, or I would be completely lost in a maze of emotions right now. Not to say that what I am facing will be easy by any mea...	buzzfree	8	659	Feb 13, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Furious (Preview) I am so furious that my hands are shaking as I type this. I had set a little bit of money aside and planned on going grocery shopping today. I just went into my purse to get the money and $100.00 was gone. Of course he had no idea were it went. He hadn't seen it. He was the only...	Powerless	6	614	Feb 13, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Thanks to all (Preview) Just wanted to thank all who post here. This site has been a tremendous help to me in my recovery. Such experience, warmth and non-judgemental people. I am glad I found you all. Thanks for your service. In Recovery, Doxie	doxie	1	466	Feb 13, 2006 by tea2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.