Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband asked me to tell him when to call me from rehab. I gave him two times. It is possible the wires got crossed because he doesnât have his own phone and I had to pass on a message. Either way, he missed both times without a word to me. I feel heartbroken. I have been feeling very positively toward...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I know that alcoholism is a disease and even with attempts at sobriety with meetings and counselors, there can be relapses. My AH drinks every few months and this has been the way it has been for years. When that happens, I feel angry. He lies and then confesses. I am tired of it. I share my feelings wh...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So my STBXRAH was finally served with his divorce papers this past weekend! Whew! One more thing off my plate... for now. That whole thing was a lesson in patience, that's for sure! At times it was hard for me to let it go, b/c I had the company that is helping with the divorce prodding me about getting him s...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

I have learned something being with my mum. When something goes wrong, she becomes anxious, swoops in and doesn't let me cope with it and learn myself. My car broke down, we plugged it into the battery charger and then I went for a walk. When she came back it wasn't working and she called an organised a re...

Gemini31 · Gemini31

I'm 42 and in love with a functional alcoholic that I have been living with for 2 years. Since he has made changes to the frequency of the drinking he thinks he is fixed,but he's still hiding, lying, and drinking..I need help with making sure that this don't effect me anymore. I want to stop counting, que...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP and happy Friday! Today's reading talks about one of our great tools - CAL or Conference Approved Literature. The writer suggests that the literature taught her to replace a long-established, negative way of thinking with a new, healthier, more positive approach to life and lo...

blueskies18 · blueskies18

I just started attending alanon meetings after a 19 year hiatus from alanon. I go there and act like I'm an oldie. I know the steps, I know the slogans etc, and I have stories about how I overcame stuff thirty years ago. But I'm a newbie. The truth is I'm afraid to be vulnerable. I don't trust. I act li...

Jerry F · Jerry F

A person I have made up my mind to contact and make an amends to for something I selfishly did years ago which might have been very dangerous answered a FB request from me this morning. I had time to think my plan over and was in the process of taking control and at the keyboard of my computer when my wife w...

Elabella · Elabella

Hi everyone, Iâm really struggling right now mentally trying to deal with my AH. His denial runs very, very deep which exhausts me to no end. Now to add to the matter, he is under a ton of stress in regards to life, finances, our marriage, his broken ties with his family. Heâs been snapping out of nowhere...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to be positive today * stay out of self-pity I also want to stay out of my head.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Oh my! My mother is starting something again. Over & over. I am beginning to think that she doesn't live me or is capable of loving me anymore. I have taken so many emotional beatings in the last few years. I know she is sick but do I have to be dragged along w her? Some ESH us needed. I am desperate.

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about knowledge and how what we know might change as we embrace recovery. Knowledge is helpful to look at the past for information about ourselves. We can learn a ton from inventories, memories, and reasoning things out with others. Yet - waiting for insight...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 3 has been posted to the Step Work Board here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64420142/alano...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is an attachment and continuation to a post from days ago regarding my 4th stepping. I got reminded that often times when I think I am done my Higher Power has issues and evidences I need to take a closer look at and I was cued at my morning meeting that this was again the case. While others were sha...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about the third step, turning our wills and lives over to the care of a higher power. The author shares that at first, they turned over only the really big problems, things about which the author had no choice and clearly no ability to control or impro...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

God has such a wry sense of humor. The word I pulled from my god box today was Action. I had planned to attend my home group(different fellowship) tonight because it's a birthday meeting. So, I figured I'd listen to the speaker tonight and see how he or she takes action in his or her program. Just before th...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

The word God gave me today is Expectations. In my experience, they are premeditated resentments. I place expectations on the people around me to act a certain way or do a certain thing and of course I don't tell them. I just expect them to know their role. They, being human, do not live up to my expectatio...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading February 27 speaks about attaining a new point of view. The reading suggests that if we listen attentively enough at meetings, read Al-Anon literature with concentration, we will absorb a new point of view. It points out that when we enter program we are always asking "why does he...

PeacefulLove · PeacefulLove

Hello Everyone! I am struggling a bit today. After spending a WONDERFUL weekend with my RAH on a mini vacation, we really had some time to connect. My Hubby is no doubt got a LOT on his plate these days with work stress, family drama (mainly his side of the family), and I know he is very concerned with try...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So much has gotten me upset lately & I held some of it in an exploded! I am working my program to climb out of it. I don't need to lose it like I never walked into the doors of alanon. I don't remember the last time I got this upset so I think that might be a good thing! Bless you all for putting up w my ranting...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Uh-oh. I can access this site with my phone. I could become addicted to miracles in progress. Little play on words. I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to.

Lyne · Lyne

Mistakes and shame: The reading talks about the fact that we all make mistakes, and we can learn from those we've made. We can make amends, and change our behavior and attitudes. The writer further says that the biggest obstacle about learning this process is shame. Shame prevents us from knowin...

aabbcc1 · aabbcc1

I'm 24 years old and I would love for someone who has left a rough relationship with an alcoholic to private message me. I feel absolutely lost and I really need to talk to someone. Please

Katy F · Katy F

Does Al-Anon take a stance on co-sponsorship? I have 20 years in program and do not feel I need guidance to do step work. I do need a trusted friend to share my recovery and process some step 10 work from time to time. I would like someone to share experiences with step 11 and 12.

lilkbbk · lilkbbk

I have been going through this in my head for months now and finally did it last night...I told my husband that he was going to have to move out if the drinking did not stop. I have never actually said those words before and it was the hardest thing I have had to do. The only problem is that he told me I am being a...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Yesterday morning, right after I read the reading from ODAAT, I reached into my god-box and pulled out the word Gratitude. I remember reading somewhere, in one of the fellowships I am in, that gratitude is not about having everything I want, but wanting everything I have. Coincidentally, my wife and...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi there, I am grateful to say that after how ever many months of feeling like whenever I shared I was updating on the next installment in some kind of protracted soap opera, I don't have much to update practically speaking. I am still living with my mother. It has all kinds of unique challenges. I miss...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Hi. How are ya? I stopped by the conference on the way to work this morning. There were several meetings going on at once. I chose one on Alanon slogans. It was pretty good. I didn't share. I chose to Listen, but one that kept coming up was How Important Is It. I like that one. Be interested to hear any though...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Let It Begin With Me. The writer interprets it as the message of al-anon we may carry to others in need, and that if asked we might share our experience in the program but that does not include an expectation of a response or how it may be received...

lookingup · lookingup

Today's reading suggests that we focus our attention on looking inward to search out the negative defects that exist and harm our decision making process. It points out that a 4th Step inventory need not be painful but a brief look within to see why we do what we do and say what we say. It is important t...

Finding grace · Finding grace

Hi everyone, so happy to have found this board, Hopefully the 3rd time will be the charm with trying to post my introduction! So here is my story, as brief as possible. My husband and I married young, basically right out of high-school, (hindsight, not a great idea) shortly after my husband started dri...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I fooled myself. Celebrated my 39th year in recovery and got my chip (XXXIX) and must have unconsciously celebrated the false assumption that It was done now...gone away...never to be seen or heard of....LOL .NOT!! I got fooled after taking an inventory of what it was like then and doing the rela...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today was tax day. Appointment was made a year ago b/c they get so booked. At first I tried to do things through my STBXRAH's sister, as I was not strong enough to constantly talk with him about what was needed for this appointment. Then last week he called and said that he needed to start to manage things o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok, I don't have an easy relationship with my mother. She just had her very best friend like her person pass suddenly and I know this is devastating. UGH .. I don't want to think about it this was a woman who knew my mother since the 70's. It was highly unexpected. I am beside myself though in terms of I h...

kath · kath

Today I am going to rest without the guilt. There is so much work to be done around my home. I always beat myself up because I think I am a lousy housekeeper. I have told myself many times that I should be doing more. I compare myself to this imaginary supermom that can do all things. I am replacing that with a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about care-taking and enabling. The writer suggests that even as a child, she had grown-up responsibilities. This taught her to give to others first and to dive into any crisis without any thoughts of self. In recovery, she learned that this was a form of self-destructiven...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is bringing an umbrella!

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Hi, friends. Busy busy, but I thought I'd pop by and say hello. You know, I pulled a word out of my god box just the other day. Insanity. You know how that one goes. We define insanity as continuing to do the same thing, expecting different results. Last month I got a call from that transition house I used to...

Dynamite · Dynamite

Hello everyone I had not heard anything about Alanon until today. You see my husband of 20 years is an alcoholic and has been since before we were married. He was not as bad (well really not bad at all) with his drinking as it is now. The incidents that occured from him last night validated my fears about t...

Lil99 · Lil99

Help! My functiong alcoholic partner has been on one today and I'm left feeling hurt and confused. My partner phoned me in work today. To cut a long story short, he got in a huff about something I said over th3 phone that I thought was perfectly reasonable. He hung up the phone on me. Later on when I got h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I have been thinking about letting go and letting god. I have been thinking about this and it sounds simple. I am struggling with it. Could it mean that faced with sharp and painful disillusionment, I must surrender my grasp on my possession, desires and everything else I have known. maybe letting...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP! Today's reading is about decision-making. I really like the quote: "When I used to make specific requests (of God), I was so busy waiting for them to be granted that I didn't realize the answers were staring me in the face." The reminder is: With the help of a Higher Power, decision...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

I am new to Al-Anon and have been reading One Day At A Time with Al-Anon. It talks a lot about focusing on me and the things that I can do to make myself healthy. But at what point does that include giving up on an AH? I hear people say that it is the disease that makes him so mean. He never hits, but his words...

WestMan · WestMan

2017 was a year of bad alcohol for my family and I. There were too many drunken tirades which finally culminated in a near tragic incident that forced my ExAW out of the home and into rehab. I caught the brunt of the fallout and it left me reeling. I'm still dealing with it in some ways. One thing that's com...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about sponsorship and Tradition 10. Tradition Ten states that "The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy." The author shares that the spirit of tradition 10 allows A...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yea, I do. I guess because it's all hyped to be all about love/commitment/etc. I have learned over the years to try and treat it like it's any other normal day... but it is hard when it is splattered as advertisement everywhere! In the past I have tried to do things for myself, and also to get my kid involve...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am really struggling today and I am learning which is all good however WOW WOW WOW .. this has been a week of lessons .. not all of which I have been thrilled with. My oldest in college is still struggling with some health issues that I am finding out are brought on by themselves not taking care of themselv...

MrsBear · MrsBear

When I met him I fell in love hard and fast. I am 7 years older than him and that scared me and still scares me. He's 25 and still a little immature and can be selfish. Very infrequently but it can happen. He's also a very high functioning alcoholic. His father was an alcoholic who passed away from liver canc...

hotrod · hotrod

he ODAT reading for February 20th speaks about the importance of the tool of" detachment". The reading suggests that whether we are living with someone who is still drinking or not, the situation calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. It suggests that we can acquire these qualities by det...

WestMan · WestMan

My AW and I are moving towards divorce. I believe it is the best thing I can do for myself now. Last week's incident ( some of you saw my other post) was an extreme display of the constant badness that runs in our relationship. My wife is truly a wonderful person but also disturbed in many ways. She also suff...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi Y'all... The feature recovery centre in my country has been closed down for over 20 years. 20 or thirty years ago many people from my town went through the centre. 12 or 15 of us. All were going to AA or Alanon when they went and most did well afterwards. My father's step-dad was a doctor and an alcoholi...

Lyne · Lyne

5th Step-The writer reflects upon writing her 4th Step, and reaching the 5th. She saw that many of her behaviors paralleled the alcoholic, except she did them sober: blaming others, took everything personally, insanity, and many responses were fear based. She didn't see change right away, but...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP - Happy Friday. Today's reminder -- The times I most want to hide out with my secrets are probably the times I most need to reach out and share them with others. When facing a difficult situation, let me remember that my Higher Power speaks through other people. I don't have to face it...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how making an 8th are list, of people we have harmed, may include ourselves. I know over the course of time, when I became in a situation that was not healthy for me, or made a decision that was not good for me I did not see it as harming myself. After having b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay this post is a reaction to the previous post using the theme "There but for the grace of God". When and where I got into program I found myself attending meetings on the grounds of a religious sect and I balked because religion was one of the addictions in my life which tore up family relationships...

lookingup · lookingup

C2C reading for today talks about FAITH. It suggests that fears loom large and that Faith takes a great deal of practice. Faith becomes real when we are in a situation and can see no way out that is when we can stop and ask for guidance That is when I see that a miracle can happen and that unexpected help a...

Engaged2Drugs · Engaged2Drugs

My addicted fiance is working on his recovery. I have been going to AlAnon meetings for my own sanity. But I still feel like his mother when we are home. I make sure the bills get paid (with little or no contribution from him, building resentment), I clean the house daily, wash dishes, do laundry, and put...

CarlyH · CarlyH

I havent had any contact with them for 2 months. During that time theyâve not had a drink and now this week Iâve been drunk dialled. Telling me all about their problems and that they need me In their life they miss me. I said ring me sober and out the phone down. What do I make of this? Do you think their bein...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a new day & I am over the valentines day sadness. I celebrated my dads birthday w joy & sadness. Tears & smiles. Even laughter! He was born on a saints day. Does that make him a saint?

MovieGal · MovieGal

Once again, I have blown up at an unsuspecting good person that just happened to be there when I got very irritable. I immediately regretted it and tried to apologize but I could tell she was very hurt. We are volunteers at a charitable agency and work side by side every Friday afternoon. It is not the f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just sad. (Preview) My husband asked me to tell him when to call me from rehab. I gave him two times. It is possible the wires got crossed because he doesnât have his own phone and I had to pass on a message. Either way, he missed both times without a word to me. I feel heartbroken. I have been feeling very positively toward...	AnnieFenk321	8	3089	Mar 3, 2018 by AnnieFenk321
	Detaching with Love (Preview) I know that alcoholism is a disease and even with attempts at sobriety with meetings and counselors, there can be relapses. My AH drinks every few months and this has been the way it has been for years. When that happens, I feel angry. He lies and then confesses. I am tired of it. I share my feelings wh...	wifeofalcoholic	2	543	Mar 2, 2018 by Jerry F
	Finally! (Preview) So my STBXRAH was finally served with his divorce papers this past weekend! Whew! One more thing off my plate... for now. That whole thing was a lesson in patience, that's for sure! At times it was hard for me to let it go, b/c I had the company that is helping with the divorce prodding me about getting him s...	PosiesandPuppies	13	872	Mar 2, 2018 by Maresie
	Character flaws (Preview) I have learned something being with my mum. When something goes wrong, she becomes anxious, swoops in and doesn't let me cope with it and learn myself. My car broke down, we plugged it into the battery charger and then I went for a walk. When she came back it wasn't working and she called an organised a re...	AnnieFenk321	8	607	Mar 2, 2018 by Maresie
	New at this (Preview) I'm 42 and in love with a functional alcoholic that I have been living with for 2 years. Since he has made changes to the frequency of the drinking he thinks he is fixed,but he's still hiding, lying, and drinking..I need help with making sure that this don't effect me anymore. I want to stop counting, que...	Gemini31	15	1550	Mar 2, 2018 by Maresie
	Courage to Change 3/2/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP and happy Friday! Today's reading talks about one of our great tools - CAL or Conference Approved Literature. The writer suggests that the literature taught her to replace a long-established, negative way of thinking with a new, healthier, more positive approach to life and lo...	Iamhere	3	495	Mar 2, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	HALT (Preview) I just started attending alanon meetings after a 19 year hiatus from alanon. I go there and act like I'm an oldie. I know the steps, I know the slogans etc, and I have stories about how I overcame stuff thirty years ago. But I'm a newbie. The truth is I'm afraid to be vulnerable. I don't trust. I act li...	blueskies18	9	1103	Mar 2, 2018 by Tude
	Higher Power at Work.... (Preview) A person I have made up my mind to contact and make an amends to for something I selfishly did years ago which might have been very dangerous answered a FB request from me this morning. I had time to think my plan over and was in the process of taking control and at the keyboard of my computer when my wife w...	Jerry F	6	528	Mar 2, 2018 by Iamhere
	Lost and lonely.. (Preview) Hi everyone, Iâm really struggling right now mentally trying to deal with my AH. His denial runs very, very deep which exhausts me to no end. Now to add to the matter, he is under a ton of stress in regards to life, finances, our marriage, his broken ties with his family. Heâs been snapping out of nowhere...	Elabella	28	758	Mar 1, 2018 by Elabella
	fighting negativity (Preview) I just want to be positive today * stay out of self-pity I also want to stay out of my head.	Hoot Nanny	2	1938	Mar 1, 2018 by Iamhere
	growl (Preview) Oh my! My mother is starting something again. Over & over. I am beginning to think that she doesn't live me or is capable of loving me anymore. I have taken so many emotional beatings in the last few years. I know she is sick but do I have to be dragged along w her? Some ESH us needed. I am desperate.	Hoot Nanny	4	1987	Mar 1, 2018 by _bunny_
	Courage to Change 3/1/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about knowledge and how what we know might change as we embrace recovery. Knowledge is helpful to look at the past for information about ourselves. We can learn a ton from inventories, memories, and reasoning things out with others. Yet - waiting for insight...	Iamhere	6	842	Mar 1, 2018 by Aline
	Step 3 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 3 has been posted to the Step Work Board here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64420142/alano...	hotrod	1	462	Mar 1, 2018 by Iamhere
	MORE searching fearless and moral... (Preview) This is an attachment and continuation to a post from days ago regarding my 4th stepping. I got reminded that often times when I think I am done my Higher Power has issues and evidences I need to take a closer look at and I was cued at my morning meeting that this was again the case. While others were sha...	Jerry F	8	821	Feb 28, 2018 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change February 28 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about the third step, turning our wills and lives over to the care of a higher power. The author shares that at first, they turned over only the really big problems, things about which the author had no choice and clearly no ability to control or impro...	Skorpi	6	502	Feb 28, 2018 by Aline
	God's Sense of Humor (Preview) God has such a wry sense of humor. The word I pulled from my god box today was Action. I had planned to attend my home group(different fellowship) tonight because it's a birthday meeting. So, I figured I'd listen to the speaker tonight and see how he or she takes action in his or her program. Just before th...	Wolfie55	1	936	Feb 28, 2018 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) The word God gave me today is Expectations. In my experience, they are premeditated resentments. I place expectations on the people around me to act a certain way or do a certain thing and of course I don't tell them. I just expect them to know their role. They, being human, do not live up to my expectatio...	Wolfie55	10	595	Feb 27, 2018 by Bo
	ODAT Reading 2-27-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading February 27 speaks about attaining a new point of view. The reading suggests that if we listen attentively enough at meetings, read Al-Anon literature with concentration, we will absorb a new point of view. It points out that when we enter program we are always asking "why does he...	hotrod	6	842	Feb 27, 2018 by Enigmatic
	Need some ESH-Wisdom... I know I am not perfect (Preview) Hello Everyone! I am struggling a bit today. After spending a WONDERFUL weekend with my RAH on a mini vacation, we really had some time to connect. My Hubby is no doubt got a LOT on his plate these days with work stress, family drama (mainly his side of the family), and I know he is very concerned with try...	PeacefulLove	4	738	Feb 27, 2018 by Lyne
	been upset but climbing out! (Preview) So much has gotten me upset lately & I held some of it in an exploded! I am working my program to climb out of it. I don't need to lose it like I never walked into the doors of alanon. I don't remember the last time I got this upset so I think that might be a good thing! Bless you all for putting up w my ranting...	Hoot Nanny	5	792	Feb 27, 2018 by Aline
	Mobile Maniac (Preview) Uh-oh. I can access this site with my phone. I could become addicted to miracles in progress. Little play on words. I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to.	Wolfie55	4	528	Feb 26, 2018 by Hoot Nanny
	C2C, 2/26 (Preview) Mistakes and shame: The reading talks about the fact that we all make mistakes, and we can learn from those we've made. We can make amends, and change our behavior and attitudes. The writer further says that the biggest obstacle about learning this process is shame. Shame prevents us from knowin...	Lyne	8	858	Feb 26, 2018 by Lil99
	Trying to escape an alcohlic, I really need some help (Preview) I'm 24 years old and I would love for someone who has left a rough relationship with an alcoholic to private message me. I feel absolutely lost and I really need to talk to someone. Please	aabbcc1	4	774	Feb 26, 2018 by Iamhere
	Sponsorship (Preview) Does Al-Anon take a stance on co-sponsorship? I have 20 years in program and do not feel I need guidance to do step work. I do need a trusted friend to share my recovery and process some step 10 work from time to time. I would like someone to share experiences with step 11 and 12.	Katy F	8	538	Feb 25, 2018 by Jerry F
	I actually did it (Preview) I have been going through this in my head for months now and finally did it last night...I told my husband that he was going to have to move out if the drinking did not stop. I have never actually said those words before and it was the hardest thing I have had to do. The only problem is that he told me I am being a...	lilkbbk	13	733	Feb 25, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Gratitude (Preview) Yesterday morning, right after I read the reading from ODAAT, I reached into my god-box and pulled out the word Gratitude. I remember reading somewhere, in one of the fellowships I am in, that gratitude is not about having everything I want, but wanting everything I have. Coincidentally, my wife and...	Wolfie55	8	2113	Feb 25, 2018 by bud
	update - husband in rehab getting on with life (Preview) Hi there, I am grateful to say that after how ever many months of feeling like whenever I shared I was updating on the next installment in some kind of protracted soap opera, I don't have much to update practically speaking. I am still living with my mother. It has all kinds of unique challenges. I miss...	AnnieFenk321	3	496	Feb 25, 2018 by bud
	Slogans (Preview) Hi. How are ya? I stopped by the conference on the way to work this morning. There were several meetings going on at once. I chose one on Alanon slogans. It was pretty good. I didn't share. I chose to Listen, but one that kept coming up was How Important Is It. I like that one. Be interested to hear any though...	Wolfie55	9	685	Feb 25, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Hope for Today Feb 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Let It Begin With Me. The writer interprets it as the message of al-anon we may carry to others in need, and that if asked we might share our experience in the program but that does not include an expectation of a response or how it may be received...	yanksfan51	3	450	Feb 25, 2018 by DavidG
	CTC 02/24/18 (Preview) Today's reading suggests that we focus our attention on looking inward to search out the negative defects that exist and harm our decision making process. It points out that a 4th Step inventory need not be painful but a brief look within to see why we do what we do and say what we say. It is important t...	lookingup	3	839	Feb 25, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hello...new here (Preview) Hi everyone, so happy to have found this board, Hopefully the 3rd time will be the charm with trying to post my introduction! So here is my story, as brief as possible. My husband and I married young, basically right out of high-school, (hindsight, not a great idea) shortly after my husband started dri...	Finding grace	12	555	Feb 25, 2018 by Finding grace
	Thoughts and Feelings relapse.... (Preview) I fooled myself. Celebrated my 39th year in recovery and got my chip (XXXIX) and must have unconsciously celebrated the false assumption that It was done now...gone away...never to be seen or heard of....LOL .NOT!! I got fooled after taking an inventory of what it was like then and doing the rela...	Jerry F	19	1155	Feb 24, 2018 by Aline
	First Meet Since Move-Out (Preview) Today was tax day. Appointment was made a year ago b/c they get so booked. At first I tried to do things through my STBXRAH's sister, as I was not strong enough to constantly talk with him about what was needed for this appointment. Then last week he called and said that he needed to start to manage things o...	PosiesandPuppies	7	1083	Feb 24, 2018 by Jen61
	OT - Response?? (Preview) Ok, I don't have an easy relationship with my mother. She just had her very best friend like her person pass suddenly and I know this is devastating. UGH .. I don't want to think about it this was a woman who knew my mother since the 70's. It was highly unexpected. I am beside myself though in terms of I h...	SerenityRUS	16	1211	Feb 23, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	dealing with shoulds (Preview) Today I am going to rest without the guilt. There is so much work to be done around my home. I always beat myself up because I think I am a lousy housekeeper. I have told myself many times that I should be doing more. I compare myself to this imaginary supermom that can do all things. I am replacing that with a...	kath	14	1092	Feb 23, 2018 by YARNCRAZY
	Courage to Change 2/23/18 (Preview) Today's reading talks about care-taking and enabling. The writer suggests that even as a child, she had grown-up responsibilities. This taught her to give to others first and to dive into any crisis without any thoughts of self. In recovery, she learned that this was a form of self-destructiven...	Iamhere	1	450	Feb 23, 2018 by hotrod
	prayer & faith (Preview) Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is bringing an umbrella!	Hoot Nanny	6	574	Feb 23, 2018 by Tude
	Call Me the Breeze (Preview) Hi, friends. Busy busy, but I thought I'd pop by and say hello. You know, I pulled a word out of my god box just the other day. Insanity. You know how that one goes. We define insanity as continuing to do the same thing, expecting different results. Last month I got a call from that transition house I used to...	Wolfie55	4	646	Feb 22, 2018 by Iamhere
	New To Al-anon (Preview) Hello everyone I had not heard anything about Alanon until today. You see my husband of 20 years is an alcoholic and has been since before we were married. He was not as bad (well really not bad at all) with his drinking as it is now. The incidents that occured from him last night validated my fears about t...	Dynamite	10	841	Feb 22, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Emotional abuse or alcoholic behavior? (Preview) Help! My functiong alcoholic partner has been on one today and I'm left feeling hurt and confused. My partner phoned me in work today. To cut a long story short, he got in a huff about something I said over th3 phone that I thought was perfectly reasonable. He hung up the phone on me. Later on when I got h...	Lil99	12	726	Feb 22, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Let go let god...What does this mean??? (Preview) I have been thinking about letting go and letting god. I have been thinking about this and it sounds simple. I am struggling with it. Could it mean that faced with sharp and painful disillusionment, I must surrender my grasp on my possession, desires and everything else I have known. maybe letting...	fishinmama	15	10628	Feb 22, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change 2/22/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading is about decision-making. I really like the quote: "When I used to make specific requests (of God), I was so busy waiting for them to be granted that I didn't realize the answers were staring me in the face." The reminder is: With the help of a Higher Power, decision...	Iamhere	2	375	Feb 22, 2018 by Lyne
	Verbal Abuse (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and have been reading One Day At A Time with Al-Anon. It talks a lot about focusing on me and the things that I can do to make myself healthy. But at what point does that include giving up on an AH? I hear people say that it is the disease that makes him so mean. He never hits, but his words...	hicktownmom	6	501	Feb 22, 2018 by Bo
	Alcohol in Other Relationships (Preview) 2017 was a year of bad alcohol for my family and I. There were too many drunken tirades which finally culminated in a near tragic incident that forced my ExAW out of the home and into rehab. I caught the brunt of the fallout and it left me reeling. I'm still dealing with it in some ways. One thing that's com...	WestMan	8	713	Feb 21, 2018 by WestMan
	Courage to Change February 21 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about sponsorship and Tradition 10. Tradition Ten states that "The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy." The author shares that the spirit of tradition 10 allows A...	Skorpi	3	562	Feb 21, 2018 by Iamhere
	Actually hate this day (Preview) Yea, I do. I guess because it's all hyped to be all about love/commitment/etc. I have learned over the years to try and treat it like it's any other normal day... but it is hard when it is splattered as advertisement everywhere! In the past I have tried to do things for myself, and also to get my kid involve...	PosiesandPuppies	12	643	Feb 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The things I can't control .. (Preview) I am really struggling today and I am learning which is all good however WOW WOW WOW .. this has been a week of lessons .. not all of which I have been thrilled with. My oldest in college is still struggling with some health issues that I am finding out are brought on by themselves not taking care of themselv...	SerenityRUS	9	689	Feb 20, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Alcoholic love of my life (Preview) When I met him I fell in love hard and fast. I am 7 years older than him and that scared me and still scares me. He's 25 and still a little immature and can be selfish. Very infrequently but it can happen. He's also a very high functioning alcoholic. His father was an alcoholic who passed away from liver canc...	MrsBear	11	636	Feb 20, 2018 by Bo
	ODAT Reading 2-20-2018 (Preview) he ODAT reading for February 20th speaks about the importance of the tool of" detachment". The reading suggests that whether we are living with someone who is still drinking or not, the situation calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. It suggests that we can acquire these qualities by det...	hotrod	3	463	Feb 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Flipped the Script ( 1 2 3 4 ) (Preview) My AW and I are moving towards divorce. I believe it is the best thing I can do for myself now. Last week's incident ( some of you saw my other post) was an extreme display of the constant badness that runs in our relationship. My wife is truly a wonderful person but also disturbed in many ways. She also suff...	WestMan	145	11002	Feb 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Reunion this weekend... (Preview) Hi Y'all... The feature recovery centre in my country has been closed down for over 20 years. 20 or thirty years ago many people from my town went through the centre. 12 or 15 of us. All were going to AA or Alanon when they went and most did well afterwards. My father's step-dad was a doctor and an alcoholi...	DavidG	10	769	Feb 19, 2018 by Tude
	C2C, 2/19 (Preview) 5th Step-The writer reflects upon writing her 4th Step, and reaching the 5th. She saw that many of her behaviors paralleled the alcoholic, except she did them sober: blaming others, took everything personally, insanity, and many responses were fear based. She didn't see change right away, but...	Lyne	6	507	Feb 19, 2018 by Skorpi
	Courage to Change 2/16/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP - Happy Friday. Today's reminder -- The times I most want to hide out with my secrets are probably the times I most need to reach out and share them with others. When facing a difficult situation, let me remember that my Higher Power speaks through other people. I don't have to face it...	Iamhere	5	528	Feb 18, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Hope for Today feb 18 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how making an 8th are list, of people we have harmed, may include ourselves. I know over the course of time, when I became in a situation that was not healthy for me, or made a decision that was not good for me I did not see it as harming myself. After having b...	yanksfan51	3	518	Feb 18, 2018 by bud
	We are not a religion... (Preview) Okay this post is a reaction to the previous post using the theme "There but for the grace of God". When and where I got into program I found myself attending meetings on the grounds of a religious sect and I balked because religion was one of the addictions in my life which tore up family relationships...	Jerry F	14	670	Feb 18, 2018 by MeTwo2
	CTC 02/17/18 (Preview) C2C reading for today talks about FAITH. It suggests that fears loom large and that Faith takes a great deal of practice. Faith becomes real when we are in a situation and can see no way out that is when we can stop and ask for guidance That is when I see that a miracle can happen and that unexpected help a...	lookingup	3	499	Feb 18, 2018 by lookingup
	Enabling? (Preview) My addicted fiance is working on his recovery. I have been going to AlAnon meetings for my own sanity. But I still feel like his mother when we are home. I make sure the bills get paid (with little or no contribution from him, building resentment), I clean the house daily, wash dishes, do laundry, and put...	Engaged2Drugs	3	701	Feb 17, 2018 by Iamhere
	Why is my ex ringing me because theyâ€™ve relapsed (Preview) I havent had any contact with them for 2 months. During that time theyâve not had a drink and now this week Iâve been drunk dialled. Telling me all about their problems and that they need me In their life they miss me. I said ring me sober and out the phone down. What do I make of this? Do you think their bein...	CarlyH	5	554	Feb 17, 2018 by Iamhere
	over the valentines day slump... (Preview) Today is a new day & I am over the valentines day sadness. I celebrated my dads birthday w joy & sadness. Tears & smiles. Even laughter! He was born on a saints day. Does that make him a saint?	Hoot Nanny	2	487	Feb 17, 2018 by Tude
	A Character Defect (Preview) Once again, I have blown up at an unsuspecting good person that just happened to be there when I got very irritable. I immediately regretted it and tried to apologize but I could tell she was very hurt. We are volunteers at a charitable agency and work side by side every Friday afternoon. It is not the f...	MovieGal	6	805	Feb 16, 2018 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.