|
|
scared to be sad
(Preview)
i am so scared to feel sad.i can do anger really well. i can do happy. but as soon as i start to think that i might be feeling sad i do anything to not feel it. shop, pick a fight, be a bit**, whatever to not feel sad. and it is difficult right now because my dad died and my marriage ended and i've lost my home that m...
|
serendipity
|
3
|
319
|
|
|
|
kaliedoscope of feelings
(Preview)
I fought with my husband today over his drinking and problems we are having with our marriage. I finally told him that I didnt feel like I could handle watching him drink his life away and that I no longer felt like we were a couple. Our marriage has been going steadily downhill. Firs...
|
unsure24
|
3
|
345
|
|
|
|
Newbie...looking for Advice/Guidance...
(Preview)
Hello... I was searching the net when I stumbled upon your board, it really seems like a great group, very helpful, etc...and now I'm hoping you can help me.
For the last couple of years I have been involved with a man. Yes, I knew he drank, yes on occassion to excess (okay, lots of occassi...
|
FirstTimeAround
|
6
|
342
|
|
|
|
Need a starting point
(Preview)
I am new to this recovery thing. I want to feel happiness in my life, but to be honest, I don't know how or where to start. Doing things for myself is very hard. I have been doing for everyone else for so long that it has become a habit.
I like to keep as much peace as possible, and it really both...
|
bluebjade
|
6
|
397
|
|
|
|
Don't know what to do
(Preview)
I worked last night from 2pm to 12am. the entire time I was at work I watched this man go through one of the worst days of his like at my store. His car broke down his friends were on there way to get him when they got into a car accident leaving 2 people dead and 2 people hospitalized in critical care. Hi...
|
pennylove
|
10
|
439
|
|
|
|
Just a short note....
(Preview)
Hi to everyone...thanks so much for the PM's that I have received during this hard time. I don't think I would have gotten through all (so far) had it not been for the skills I have learned though counseling and Al-anon.....I left my job June 10th and am still at mom's house. Since I am the ho...
|
marmare
|
6
|
314
|
|
|
|
My vacation & my cousin
(Preview)
I wrote more details of my vacation on my post " blessed ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed"
It did not go as I expected but I had fun anyway. I am letting go of my friend I had know since 1977 & her son & daughter. I will always feel they are a part o...
|
hmrnrnmm
|
0
|
354
|
|
|
|
Filling the void
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Family)))))))))),
We often talk about "filling the void" when our A's are active. We are told to work on our recovery, be extra good to ourselves, find a new hobby, etc.
So it now begs the question what do you do when your A is in recovery? The first year is the most diffic...
|
Karilynn
|
3
|
355
|
|
|
|
He chose the beer
(Preview)
Boyfriend of 6+ years on yet another bender for 10 days now. On the phone this afternoon he told me he can't try to be sober anymore; that he has to drink and will probably die with a beer in his hand. He said that beer makes him happier than I have made him in a long time.
Wow. Huge state...
|
moonstorm
|
8
|
490
|
|
|
|
sad
(Preview)
had a conversation with my ex this morning. he didn't call yesterday so i assumed he was "out there". he was. he was still sounding drunk when i was talking to him. now, i have assumed all this time he's been living with his mother that he's been using. i don't ask it's not my business. he shows up here with a...
|
serendipity
|
2
|
287
|
|
|
|
Thanks....
(Preview)
Thanks for the advice and pointers everyone. I know that I'm not one who can change his addiction/disease...that is something only he can do for himself. (I have a brother who is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict, so I've somewhat been down this road before.) I do believe that w...
|
FirstTimeAround
|
4
|
277
|
|
|
|
House payments, etc.
(Preview)
Hi everyone:
Does anyone have any experience with getting behind on bills because of As? I'm sure someone does.
This is the situation. AH is working part-time, odd jobs (he decided he didn't want to print anymore - his career for 25 years or more - and has taken odd jobs here and...
|
hersh
|
11
|
480
|
|
|
|
Newbie - many questions
(Preview)
Hi,
I am finally beginning to see that my husband is an alcoholic. His problem started very subtly and is still sometimes hard to detect. Without going into ten years of history, I'll try to give you a short run-down.
We've been married 22 years; two children - ages 16 and 10....
|
mimi
|
15
|
627
|
|
|
|
Forgiveness
(Preview)
''A little meditation on the word forgive can throw some rather surprising light on our understanding of the word. We are asked to forgive those who have injured us. Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Rather we would have to f...
|
greta
|
3
|
749
|
|
|
|
Just a note of gratitude
(Preview)
Hi (((all))),
Just wanted to write a quick note of gratitude, for a couple of things.
1) Thank you (((((Dolphin))))) for stepping up and taking over the meeting when I had an emergency and had to RUN out.
2) Thank you to everyone who had given me support, especially today when I was gratefu...
|
memeself
|
3
|
252
|
|
|
|
another layer of the onion falls away
(Preview)
Hello friends.
I had a revelation today about myself.I was having a conversation with my AH.I was talking about how I need to get closer to my HP ( God),and he was talking about his feelings and thoughts in that area as well.At one point he mentioned the online 'friend' and said " she helps me".I felt a k...
|
drucilla06
|
3
|
475
|
|
|
|
Sharing the alanon experience
(Preview)
I have done my best to explain how the program works for me.
Last night I had a horrible, horrible nightmare about my A husband. Woke up in tears, sore throat, no energy, Just yuck.
A friend called me becuz she was taking me to do my errands. I don't feel well enough to drive.
Just miserable becuz I do...
|
debilyn
|
6
|
520
|
|
|
|
Holding the Alcoholic Parent Accountable
(Preview)
Finding I am a bit resentful for *still cleaning up after a functioning A in my life, my child's father who I am divorced from. There was much abuse involved. He uses the child and money as a weapon…
Because it is now going on 11 months since he has seen the child he has forfeited his right to the visitatio...
|
tea2
|
11
|
1079
|
|
|
|
A Million Little Pieces
(Preview)
Anyone read the book 'A Million Little Pieces?' I finished reading it recently and the thing with this guy, James Frey, he acts like because he could make it without AA that anyone can. What I think is he isn't truly an addict, with the addict gene. He began drinking and drugging whe...
|
sdisnie
|
12
|
563
|
|
|
|
OH CRAP...what's going ON!!!????
(Preview)
...my "non-A" husband of 2 years just made a confession.
Last night, he called from work saying that they had a semi roll over on the turnpike whivh is not out of the ordinary...
He just came home at 9am which is not out of the ordinary....
He started throwing up which is not out of the ordinary........
|
jonibaloni
|
9
|
389
|
|
|
|
Sign from God?
(Preview)
Things are up and down in my life. No surprise there. But what is happening again is I am getting burned out on school--and the last time I got burned out on school, it was the culmination of 6 months of disasters, and I landed in a hospital psych unit.
So I've called the school financial ai...
|
Tiger2006
|
10
|
483
|
|
|
|
Any info on DUI's?
(Preview)
Hi, so my AH who has been really trying the sober route relapsed, but of course, he relapsed 3 times, he couldn't get it together after the first relapse, nor the second, he two chances to stop his cycle, and instead, he had to wait until things go worse, hit a parked car and got a DUI before he could start on...
|
sdisnie
|
8
|
377
|
|
|
|
Newbie in Crisis
(Preview)
I have been in and out of al-anon so many times, it is not funny. Of course I only come around when I have a crisis. I can feel myself definitely going in a different direction than what I am accustomed to regarding my husband and his relapses. I really feel that he doesn't want to get be...
|
Theresa
|
8
|
861
|
|
|
|
Life on Life's Terms
(Preview)
Lifes terms are hitting me pretty brutally right now. All mostly minor BS but a lot of it all at once. One major issue came up concerning my husband. I found out yesterday afternoon quite by accident that he lied about seeing a Dr for what was potentially a major medica...
|
AlaMom
|
4
|
305
|
|
|
|
checking in; a question
(Preview)
hi, i've been absent and not able to read and reply like i was hoping to! 2 busy, overwhelming weeks ... i got sole custody of my daughter last Friday! with the ex getting only supervised visitation. that was a huge relief. then, he just got fired from his job, and i just found out 3 days ago that he's gettin...
|
purpleraven
|
4
|
442
|
|
|
|
Just an observation...
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
Had an interesting mini-vacation the last couple of days. Due to schedules we ended up going to a lake house for the last few nights. I didn't anticipate there being any "bonding" with my active AW since she out of the blue earlier in the week asked "... So if I went to re...
|
rtexas
|
5
|
368
|
|
|
|
Stepping on dangerous ground...
(Preview)
Anyone have any opinions on this Mel Gibson fiasco? He is coming very close to proving a point I touched on. He said his DWI, "just happened." As if HE had nothing to do with it. It was the alcohol that took him to the bar, (or wherever he was) made him drink, got the keys out of his pocket, started his car, and...
|
Diva
|
14
|
651
|
|
|
|
Me and my GONE WITH THE WIND crap....
(Preview)
I just want to thank my HP that I have this board to help keep my stuff down to the right size. I get a real sense of perspective as I read and ponder just what each and every one of you fine men and women are going through, have gone through, and how you use the tools to cope and grow.
I do a lot of reading here. I...
|
jonibaloni
|
4
|
414
|
|
|
|
Received Book!
(Preview)
I got so excited, I just recieved my copy of Courage to Change.
I began reading from the beginning. After I finished the month of January,
I thought to myself, I better slow down and take it "one day at a time" But what a wonderful bo...
|
sld488
|
3
|
261
|
|
|
|
What are your plans this weekend?
(Preview)
(((Hi everyone)))
Thought we could start a self-care thread. What are your plans for this weekend to take care of you?
I am:
Cleaning the house tonite and listening to my new cds (Funky Brian Jonestown Massacre, Rolling Stones and Sarah McLachlan);
Tomorrow going hiking with my two w...
|
hersh
|
8
|
385
|
|
|
|
"Blessed is ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed"
(Preview)
I think I will adopt this as my new slogan, I actually found a plaque with this on it.
"Blessed is ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed"
I went on my vacation. I had expected my niece to have called or stop by like she said she would when and if I came up some 300 to 400 miles. We...
|
hmrnrnmm
|
0
|
315
|
|
|
|
Update on surgeries
(Preview)
Hi (((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))
As most of you had asked me for an update on my surgeries.
I’m going to disillusion you about our great Canadian health care system.
As far as my back surgery goes, it looks like I have to wait the 6 months to get in to see the surgeon for another consultat...
|
shadow1
|
4
|
467
|
|
|
|
can someone explain 13th stepping
(Preview)
I've heard this and read it here, but don't really know what it means.
Thanks,
evey
|
evey
|
6
|
426
|
|
|
|
How to not respond tp button pushers
(Preview)
I try so to let my buttons not be pushed by my Mom and older brother. I've tried simply staying away.They put me on a guilt trip and I stupidly allow it to happen. I had to take her to an MD appt. today and she just kept bringing up my brother this and that. I stayed cool as long as I could. My...
|
Hopefloats
|
7
|
462
|
|
|
|
nothing new update
(Preview)
Nope have not heard a word. Got on med that is tearing the H out of my gut..
But today I dragged myself out and dug out the mudhole bigger. Thinking how strange I am. Out there in a gauze dress and leather flipflops slopping out the pigs waller! I did this for me.
Funny, doing things for us. How what we mig...
|
debilyn
|
5
|
373
|
|
|
|
Divorce ESH anyone
(Preview)
Hello friends old and new
I am getting a divorce from my active A. I filed August 2005 and went to court in April. Now we are coming down to the final settlement and my nerves are shot.
My lawyer goes to court tomorrow and he tells me this today at 11:15 and that is when he shows me the revised s...
|
megan
|
16
|
471
|
|
|
|
Reality is biting....
(Preview)
Hi everyone:
Just had to get some things out. I am sad. The other day I was angry, now I'm just sad...
A and I are not connecting, drifting further and further apart. He is working sometimes, gone "running errands" most nights. He calls me on my cel phone and doesn't leave...
|
hersh
|
5
|
357
|
|
|
|
I am off the Crazy Train
(Preview)
Just an update on what I have decided what is BEST for me.
I found this site 6 months ago or so. I have been here off and on for the past few months I have sat in many meetings online and have only went to one f2f meeting. I had an A/BF and his ex wife was there at the meeting. They had been divorced for over 10 yea...
|
mandalynn38
|
6
|
505
|
|
|
|
my patience ran out...
(Preview)
I've noticed that I can sometimes get quite nasty with my Aboyfriend, and this is really starting to bother me. I am not a nasty person at all, but sometimes he just won't stop bickering and finding fault....and i suppose I just get really irate.
Normally, I walk away, tune out etc, but if we're on a c...
|
annmarie
|
4
|
424
|
|
|
|
lost newbe
(Preview)
Hi, I have been looking all night for a al-anon meeting to attend in mississippi. I come from a very long history of drug addicts and alcholics and it was not until recently that I have discovered that I have a major problem with enabling the addicts in my life I love them very much but it's th...
|
pennylove
|
7
|
329
|
|
|
|
cook book update 7/31/06
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
This is to update you on the progress of the Miracles In Progress Cook Book. It is still be put together. I am getting 365 inspirations and motivational thoughts to put with all the recipes. I am having to be very careful for copywrites. This has become a bi...
|
John
|
2
|
283
|
|
|
|
Is Something Missing?
(Preview)
Hi all,
I just went into a post that I posted and noticed that I had a typo typed mush instead of much lol big difference there. I can't edit my post that option is gone, but it was there earlier because earlier today I edited a reply on another post.
Does anyone else see this or not see it?:...
|
Dolphin123
|
4
|
332
|
|
|
|
Regular meetings
(Preview)
I was looking for dates of meetings and found this
Regular Al-Anon Meeting - Regular meeting, not an Alateen, Newcomers, Adult Child Focus, etc.
Closed Discussion (CD) - Limited to members and prospective member. These are persons who feel their lives have been or are being deeply affec...
|
Kyann
|
5
|
295
|
|
|
|
Can someone explain please?
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Hi roomies)))))))))))),
Alot of times when we are in meetings we are reminded that certain terms such as ACOA, or taking from a book (such as More on the Language of Letting Go) is not an Alanon term, or is not conference approved liturature. What is "approved lit" or "accepted...
|
Karilynn
|
9
|
1144
|
|
|
|
HUMONGOUS PERSONAL-GOALS BLESSING
(Preview)
I received a letter today stating that I am being CONSIDERED for an accelerated nursing program that I applied for...
Just one last interview, and home-free August 19th.
I have fought hard as a double-winner to grow in as many ways as I possibly can, and this would be the icing on the cake!!...
|
jonibaloni
|
8
|
306
|
|
|
|
Humour as a weapon
(Preview)
Do any of the rest of you experience this???
My other half often uses humour as a weapon. I am finding more and more that something not quite inappropriate but not appropriate either will come out of her mouth. If I mention it I hear "you just don't have a sense of humour"
It is starting t...
|
lilms
|
3
|
337
|
|
|
|
what i learn staying up late
(Preview)
i had just read and replyed to diva's post last night and thought i'd go read then sleep. but as i was turning off the tv the host and the guest were discussing the mel gibson thing and the disease. so i sat and watched the segment. the host apparently is a recovering(?) alcholic and spoke from that point of...
|
serendipity
|
5
|
434
|
|
|
|
Tired of the vicioius circle
(Preview)
Hello, everyone. My AH was off work Fri. thru Mon. Of course it was a four day drunk. He spent half a day with me and the rest with his drinking buddy. It may sound weird, but I was kinda glad he was gone, because I haven't been feeling well.
Him and his buddy came in about...
|
bluebjade
|
9
|
502
|
|
|
|
"ANGER", Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
(Preview)
"Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are angered are touched deeply by the events of their lives and feel strongly about them. As an emotion, it has limitations and it certainly has very bad press, but my experience with ill people suggests that there is something healthy about it...
|
jonibaloni
|
4
|
1269
|
|
|
|
Thank You for this program!!!
(Preview)
It's been a tough week! I've done a whole lot of digging and finding things I haven't liked or enjoyed. There have been a lot of memories resurfacing, a lot of feelings, a lot of pain and a lot of awareness’s. I began my week wanting to remove the entire program from my brain, then wanted to get away from me,...
|
sandie123
|
3
|
372
|
|
|
|
Feeling Blue
(Preview)
Hi all,
I haven't been on much since Saturday. We had a packed day at church on Sunday.
Monday I was putting the final touches on a going away party that I had planned for my co-worker, who is also my best friend. She and her family are moving to Michigan. I haven't posted about it because I haven't allo...
|
Dolphin123
|
9
|
488
|
|
|
|
It has occurred to me to wonder...
(Preview)
about some tenets of AlAnon. Most pointedly that we need to remember the
"alcohol is speaking." Is it really a teaching of Al Anon that we should dismiss any unkind, deceitful, hateful talk the "disease" talks, blaming it on the "disease", and excusing it for that reason? I don't quite get this prem...
|
Diva
|
11
|
514
|
|
|
|
When in doubt go to the Grand Canyon!
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners,
I was scheduled to attend a conference in Las Vegas last week. My burdens were heavy so I figured that I needed to do something different to get different results. The Grand Canyon is close to my home (as opposed to most visitors). I took the long way around and went through the Grand Cany...
|
nmike
|
8
|
648
|
|
|
|
Emotional Night
(Preview)
Hi all,
Last night was a weird night.
I had asked help from a funding source to help pay for part of the car repair, and that came through. They are going to pay some of it. I also got news that they thought my car was going to be ready yesterday (Tuesday), but when they test drove it, the tranny...
|
Dolphin123
|
8
|
388
|
|
|
|
Doormat situation
(Preview)
How can I stop certain people treating me like a door mat and acting with no consideration. Today I dropped my son off at the airport, had informed people I would be late for work,yet the minute I came in the door, they descended on me with last minute requests. It really irritates me that people can const...
|
maire rua
|
6
|
333
|
|
|
|
Da Board
(Preview)
I tried something different today when I came to the board. Instead of posting first and reading your wonderful shares second… I decided to listen to y’all first and then see how that felt. What occurs to me is that I need to remember that multiple perspectives and encouragement are another way of allo...
|
sparkette
|
4
|
317
|
|
|
|
I Hate Weekends
(Preview)
Sunday morning he had to go to work for a couple of hours. He got home, made us breakfast. I was just doing housework, and mentioned to him I'd like to paint the bedroom. He said really snappy "I don't care WHAT color you paint it" and I asked why he was being so mean, he said, well, he was...
|
Becky1
|
7
|
368
|
|
|
|
should be HALTS
(Preview)
Lets add sick to that. It hit me today, now i know what is making me not bounce back. I am sick. My tooth has hurt for weeks now. Have no dental insurance as medicare is all.
So I have a tooth infection, no wonder I keep having nightmares and waking up feeling crummy.duh.
Called around, I am on dis...
|
debilyn
|
9
|
378
|
|
|
|
Anger ceasing....
(Preview)
Hi everyone!
Thought I would let you know about some progress I have been making. Yesterday I was angry, so angry. Angry when I left AH in the morning - the last thing I told him was the smell of alcohol made me sick to my stomach and I was beginning to fall out of love with him because of his dr...
|
hersh
|
4
|
253
|
|
|
|
a few questions for HP
(Preview)
Sweet friend in my soul, my teacher, my liaison to myself, thank you for being in my life. I smile as I ponder this “spiritual urgency” as I am reminded that my spirit is not bound by the confines of time. And yet, I thank you for the help I am about to receive, and for which I eagerly await.
I am rem...
|
mac57
|
5
|
370
|
|