Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Diva · Diva

"I will not allow you to be here if you yell and scare the dog. That is a big one for me. Any "any" animal abuse and out the frigging door he goes. And I will help if he won't go." Debilyn, I love this quote from your post below. I feel exactly the same way. I am a big girl, and I have a choice, but don't dare sta...

nachoqtpie · nachoqtpie

Well, things have been going kind of rough as of late, and I'm really feeling a bit down. I haven't been praying as much as I need too, and that really takes a toll on me. This morning, I sat down and prayed about everything that is going on. I sat down and prayed about the A and T's relationship,...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi Roomies, Thanks for all the hugs, prayers, and support. It helps soooooooooo mcuh to have a safe place to vent. Well He came home right before 9, I was shocked to see him.Said the car overheated on his way to his function so he stopped at his buddies house. He tinkered with that car, and it ha...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi ala-pals, I've been gone a while on vacation and had a week of getting back to normal life (that means laundry, grocery shopping, unpacking, etc, etc.). I have missed you and your posts so much. I have been thinking of your wisdom, shared here and in online meetings, as well...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

the past couple of weeks have been such a rollercoaster. i was totally focused on just me and living my life and was really enjoying it. so one night i went out with my friends and met someone. my a and i have been separated for about a month and a half now but we are still speaking and he is focused on getting m...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi evreyone, I hope you are all well. Summer is always hectic here. The kids are all home and this year the older ones have jobs. The little guys keep me busy, either with the pool or baseball and everything else that goes with summer. With summer winding down, I am looking forward to fall and sad th...

Hope · Hope

Hi, guys! Last night, me and my A (abstinent 3 years) had a talk about my feelings of not being included in his life anymore, since he is so intent on his recovery and considers it "his", a very personal fight, one he must do himself. Don't get me wrong, I completely support his efforts in every wa...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Mayonnaise Jar & Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee… A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class b...

signseeker · signseeker

My "A" is constantly battling just like everyone else! I hate it when he looks at me and says "That's it!" - "No more!" Because I know that means he'll be drunk by the tie he comes home form work! The worst part is trating me like I'm stupid. I can't help that I'm mad when he comes home. I smell it as soon as he wa...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Anyone located even close to Northeastern Kansas?

nycbt · nycbt

Today I got marriage 2 yrs ago. When I got married I didn't realize how bad my life was, he was on his best behavior when we were planning the wedding. 2 yrs a go lets look back to that day..........I was very happy on that day, we went to disney world for our honeymoon, had a great time, and then a littl...

serendipity · serendipity

i was chairing a meeting tonight and one person brought up a topic. then i asked someone to start. and another person said "ok i'll start" and the he asked what the topic was and the person who brought up the topic started to explain and then went deeper into what the problem really was and she was going on f...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hi Everyone, Due to several confused friends, I am changing my nickname from jonibaloni21 from Texas, with only furbabies and an Ex-bf A , to Texasjoni21 to differentiate from the "other" jonibaloni as everyone is getting confused. I have been here a year now and have had lots of help thru many tr...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Mostly this is just a vent but I'm sure lots of other people experience this frequently if not everyday. I'm so tired of being scapegoated and blamed for things that go wrong in my A's life. He's been late for work twice this week and says, its my responsibility to wake him up. Well, I...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So I've been keeping you updated about how I've been doing and what's been going on with me. And it occured to me about what was really at the core about alot of my feelings. (And you newcomers are entitled to laugh, make comments or whatever you feel, because, yes, this is a commupance of some kind...

BeBlessed · BeBlessed

I heard someone say that "Being a people-pleaser can negatively affect you in many ways. I used to let other people tell me who I was. I played the role assigned to me by my current family and my family of origin. And living and going to school in a small communit...

maresie2 · maresie2

Its funny when you get to that point of not having anymore, I can finally set lots of limits with the A. After all I am not going to entertain it anymore. I can finally say I have had enough. I think it must be my huge martyr complex that made me feel I had to endure. I could never say to him this is n...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

This has been a full day, and it's only 12:30~I went to an al anon meeting, and we had a new comer. Which was good, I suppose. I guess what soured my desire to go back is that there was this one lady who when she's nice, she's fantastic. But when she's mean or whatever....

Like the old saying, if...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Husband moved back home yesterday after being seperated for 6 1/2 weeks. We have talked to each other every day since he moved out - some conversations more pleasant than others but we have seen each other only 4 times since the incident that caused our seperation. After doing my usual ru...

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

Thank you for your responses to my problem. I wanted to let you know that my husband walked out of his outpatient assessment. He said he was telling them what he thought of them when they asked him to leave. I don’t know where this man came from. In the 12 years I have known him he...

BeBlessed · BeBlessed

…haven’t really been able to participate in MIP online meetings lately (couple months anway)…able to say welcome and thank you, but not able to share. Have always struggled with living in a shell, feelings of rejections, and I can spot someone who doesn’t like a mile away – even o...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Ok I worked till 8pm on Monday8/7. My A picked me up after work. she slid over to let me drive before I came outside. I was suspicious but wanted to go home. It seems she took my new friend ( the one whose A father ran out of gas and I took him to her house). This new frie...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

14 Hello Dear Friends, I would just like to make a few comments on some of the posts I have been reading.... I have noticed alot of people feeling alone lately....well, in my opinion we are not alone we have the wonderful support of this terriffic program and the lovely people in...

debilyn · debilyn

A's sister called me and told me where he is. He is staying at this old scrum womans apt. I was not concerned he was cheating. On the way there I talked to hp. I thought well maybe his sis was lying. Maybe he won't be there. I was not anxious or mad or anything. No expectations. I did not know an apt. number...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I just wanted to keep y'all posted. I am loathe to admit it, but yes...you were right. God showed up on time. In style. And every detail was attended too. I went to the Woman's Center today and talked to them some more about the situation. The conversation consisted of the followi...

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

New, blue, confused, that's me. My husband is a hardcore drinker and has been for many years. He can't stay off the sauce for more than 90 days or so. He went to treatment on the 19th of July because his long time friend and I confronted him with his out of control behavior. He wa...

krise · krise

I went to bed last night and as I was sinking down in the covers I was thinking about my present situation. My AH, whom I have been separated from the last 6 months, just sent me divorce paperwork last week. The agreement is completely one-sided (his side) and I've had to contact lawyers, et...

cher · cher

I need to express my graditude Wed. nite my hubby (an A)dissappease. Once again I think he is on a binge (and I was wrong) Couldn't bare the pain again and found this web site. You pulled me through a very hard time, gave me information to help myself, and it worked.Was what u were doing before worked c...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

i really want to talk in the chat room tonight but i can't get in. i try the link and it's the right one the page came up but the place the room should come up is just and empty black box. can anyone help

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi roomies, Last night was an odd night. Kids and I got home and as soon as I walked in I knew my "A" was high like meth high. Why is that odd? He wasn't even home. I just felt it. I have learned to trust certain instincts of mine, because over the years I have learned to know the difference between my sickn...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Goes hand in hand. Its a dance that seems to get old after a while and I find myself wishing to get off the dance floor sometimes. Coming to Alanon is like getting off the dance floor for me. Getting real with myself and my wants and desires. It feels weird to let the A dance by him...

omajoy · omajoy

I have read posts here for weeks and have posted a few myself. To be honest, I don't think anyone of you out there, regardless of your experiences, can really help anyone else. Oh, we can give our hugs and our support, but when the chips are truly down, you just have to go it alone. That is me. Alone. Most of y...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, We had a weekend round-up here in the northeast corner of Arizona. Many people come from afar every year. My AHsober was around because we had taken our son to the airport to fly back to start his second year of college. I asked my H to go with me to the roundup. The main reason is that there i...

Jill · Jill

We went to my brother’s wedding last weekend. My new sister in law’s stepmother was the pariah of the whole group – so controlling, didn’t “let” her ancient husband do what he wanted, etc. You guessed it – her husband is a very active alcoholic and she’s his keeper. I thank this program and you all for hel...

debilyn · debilyn

Is anyone near cape cod massachusets? spelled wrong I am sure. I don't need much. I am attempting to help someone who's mom died now she is homeless. thanks debilyn

whittibo · whittibo

I just found your site last night and have been reading some posts. I have shared my problems with friends on another board (pet board) and the advice was to go to Al-Anon. It's not feasible in my life to attend meetings. I am not good in groups, I don't want to go, and don't have the tim...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi group.... I get nervous, really nervous, when I see so many posts about alternative ways for people to gain sobriety... Yes, there are other ways, and yes, there are small percentages of people who are living testaments to those other ways.... Here is something I cut and paste...

doxie · doxie

I woke up EARLY this morning and couldn't get this stuff outta my head, so here I am! Let me start by saying that I need to get this down, I know this is a safe place. So I choose to do it here. These are my opinions only and this is what is working in my life. Doxie's therapy 101 to herself I guess.

...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

Hi all. I have been trying to log onto the online chats but for some reason it won't work for me. So I figured I would try this. I have been with my boyfriend (an A) for 5 1/2 years now. We met at college and He has drank all of our relationship. I don't know really where to start. My A is very mean when he drinks. H...

maresie2 · maresie2

On the weekend the A crashed my truck again. The whole side is all dented. He has no remorse nothing. He is like a psychopath. All he can say is "Me Me Me Me and some more me's". I know I can no longer live this life of his crazy chaos, lies and psychoapathism. I have been working on plan B for...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I woke up this morning almost relieved and refreshed. Start of day two living my life for my HP and me!

I realized some more about myself. I know I love myself enough now. So I have started making future plans for myself personal goals that I want to ...

shadow1 · shadow1

I just wanted to clairfy something. We seem to have 2 shadow's now. I have been getting alot of private messages in chat room, on the message board and email asking me, if the other shadow's posts are mine. They are not. Shadow1 on the message bo...

lmt123 · lmt123

I don't know which Alanon tool I used last nite, but I'm sure I used one, LOL! My 18 year old daughter (eaten up by anger towards her dad, my ex) did her usual nightly routine last nite. Bear with me now...

We live in this old house that we are remodeling, and the upstairs is se...

bluebjade · bluebjade

Hello All, first of all I want to say that finding MIP, is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. All of the post, have brought to light, so many things that I have been sweeping under the rug for so long now. Yesterday, my A, who for once was not drinking, so I took this opportuni...

marmare · marmare

Wow, how quickly we can slip back into our old ways...it happens in a matter of seconds. I then question why am I doing this.....I am sure with all the focus on my mother and caring for her in her final days I haven't worked my program. I am finding myself an emotional mess and listening to my A...

serendipity · serendipity

the only thing i'm not is hungry. not in the food sense anyway. almost all my life i have had a sleep disorder. the only times i haven't have been when i was content in a relationship or feeling secure in my grandparents home. so more often than not i just can't sleep. i have tried it all. massage worked but m...

Patches · Patches

I have to go home tonight to visit my mom, bro and A-dad. It was my b-day on Sunday and my bro is having surgery today, so I really have to go. I never know what to expect when I go home and I get physically ill before I go home. I guess my A-dad is on anti-depresents now, which is good, but I h...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Well, I slipped big time. I was feeling so sure of myself and calm and everything seemed to be okay. AH called around 9:30, said he would be home soon. I have learned not to expect much, so I didn't really. I fell asleep. I wake up and look outside, worried...

gardengal · gardengal

I find myself daily worrying about things I have no control over. I find myself time to time dwelling in the past with feelings of guilt. Guilt for what? Guilt because I didnt do everything I could, or the I should have's , when the A was still here. Or guilt for things I did when the A was here?. My reactions...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

Hi all Thought I have bent your collective ears so much the last couple of weeks with my "woe is me" attitude that I would post a more upbeat message to the forums. It has been a good week. To put it in context, ten years ago I would have said that it has been a pretty nondescript week. Today though that is...

debilyn · debilyn

I woke this morn. thinking that I had done enough. Then I had an email from a great alanon sis, TT who basically thru me a rope to grab as I was falling into the pit. I have done all the footwork I am willing to do. The rest is out of my hands. I feel ok about if he is found, they know to contact me. If he is ok,...

CoffeeBean3 · CoffeeBean3

Hello, All........ I am very much confused by myself today; hoping you guys could help me decipher my feelings a bit. This weekend has completely thrown me into a tailspin. My A has been active for at least eight years. In the last two years, I slowly began to notice that I wasn't feeli...

Valhalla · Valhalla

Let judging, criticizing, trying to figure out, manipulating events, 'circling the wagons' with my fellow alanons in the face of my own selfish desires of what I want for my alcoholic? Looking at other alcoholics who are not even a direct portion of my life and allowing them to rent space in my head a...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Everyone))) It has been a while since I have posted anything. Just working my program and staying extremely busy with work and family. Things were sailing along just fine with my A until Friday night. He went out to a bar with some friends to listen to a band and when he came hom...

allygirl · allygirl

I have trouble opening up with people. I have a sponsor who I talk to on a regular basis, as well as good friends and even family.

But I just don't know how to talk about how I'm doing. I always end up talking about superficial things, or what my husband is doing or how my kids are....

dwell · dwell

My A husband recently decided to quit drinking and go to AA meetings. He went to a doctor and got Lirium to help him. He started taking that on Friday night (last drink was Thursday night), and has been to two AA meetings a day since. I was so happy that he'd come to this decision by himself (he ran int...

lovescoping · lovescoping

Hi, Does this sound familar to anyone? It seems to be a pattern that I have seen since my AH started drinking again. So many times I am the one he is mad at the next day. He gives me the cold shoulder because I might have said something about his drinking that offended him. Well...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

So we lost power last nite till around 6am. I could not sleep & was burning up. It was in the 80's here. I opened a window & it did not help not a breeze one. My A slept like a snoring baby. I took my new sleep pills & I think it has the opposite effect on me. I could not shut my bra...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok here is the next step in my footwork. If my A is not found, and I am well enough, I am packing up my horse, Chief, and we are heading to town. Actually I will have someone trailor him over there. We are going to hit the streets and cause attention so maybe people will really take me seriou...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

HI all. I wrote my first post yesterday and I REALLY appreciate the responses. I can't believe how much a few responses helps and gets me thinking. My question tonight is what are face to face meetings like? For some reason I am so nervous about attending one. Can I get...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Debilyn... (Preview) "I will not allow you to be here if you yell and scare the dog. That is a big one for me. Any "any" animal abuse and out the frigging door he goes. And I will help if he won't go." Debilyn, I love this quote from your post below. I feel exactly the same way. I am a big girl, and I have a choice, but don't dare sta...	Diva	2	531	Aug 13, 2006 by debilyn
	Finding Peace (Preview) Well, things have been going kind of rough as of late, and I'm really feeling a bit down. I haven't been praying as much as I need too, and that really takes a toll on me. This morning, I sat down and prayed about everything that is going on. I sat down and prayed about the A and T's relationship,...	nachoqtpie	1	421	Aug 13, 2006 by doxie
	Letting God do his job (Preview) Hi Roomies, Thanks for all the hugs, prayers, and support. It helps soooooooooo mcuh to have a safe place to vent. Well He came home right before 9, I was shocked to see him.Said the car overheated on his way to his function so he stopped at his buddies house. He tinkered with that car, and it ha...	Dolphin123	3	599	Aug 13, 2006 by Karilynn
	I feel like I'm growing (Preview) Hi ala-pals, I've been gone a while on vacation and had a week of getting back to normal life (that means laundry, grocery shopping, unpacking, etc, etc.). I have missed you and your posts so much. I have been thinking of your wisdom, shared here and in online meetings, as well...	itsgot2bgd	1	589	Aug 13, 2006 by lin0606
	new man in my life....... (Preview) the past couple of weeks have been such a rollercoaster. i was totally focused on just me and living my life and was really enjoying it. so one night i went out with my friends and met someone. my a and i have been separated for about a month and a half now but we are still speaking and he is focused on getting m...	notsonew1111	8	805	Aug 12, 2006 by itsgot2bgd
	Update (Preview) Hi evreyone, I hope you are all well. Summer is always hectic here. The kids are all home and this year the older ones have jobs. The little guys keep me busy, either with the pool or baseball and everything else that goes with summer. With summer winding down, I am looking forward to fall and sad th...	Jeannie	5	454	Aug 12, 2006 by leo
	Feeling selfish... (Preview) Hi, guys! Last night, me and my A (abstinent 3 years) had a talk about my feelings of not being included in his life anymore, since he is so intent on his recovery and considers it "his", a very personal fight, one he must do himself. Don't get me wrong, I completely support his efforts in every wa...	Hope	4	502	Aug 12, 2006 by maresie2
	Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee (Preview) Mayonnaise Jar & Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee… A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class b...	Mobirdie	6	606	Aug 12, 2006 by Jeannie
	Do they really think we're Stupid?? (Preview) My "A" is constantly battling just like everyone else! I hate it when he looks at me and says "That's it!" - "No more!" Because I know that means he'll be drunk by the tie he comes home form work! The worst part is trating me like I'm stupid. I can't help that I'm mad when he comes home. I smell it as soon as he wa...	signseeker	8	657	Aug 12, 2006 by signseeker
	Location...Location...Location? (Preview) Anyone located even close to Northeastern Kansas?	tishrijo	2	455	Aug 12, 2006 by confused
	2 yrs anniversary marriage (Preview) Today I got marriage 2 yrs ago. When I got married I didn't realize how bad my life was, he was on his best behavior when we were planning the wedding. 2 yrs a go lets look back to that day..........I was very happy on that day, we went to disney world for our honeymoon, had a great time, and then a littl...	nycbt	8	582	Aug 12, 2006 by aunitedway
	a little drama (Preview) i was chairing a meeting tonight and one person brought up a topic. then i asked someone to start. and another person said "ok i'll start" and the he asked what the topic was and the person who brought up the topic started to explain and then went deeper into what the problem really was and she was going on f...	serendipity	2	606	Aug 12, 2006 by SLS
	New Nick I Picked! (Preview) Hi Everyone, Due to several confused friends, I am changing my nickname from jonibaloni21 from Texas, with only furbabies and an Ex-bf A , to Texasjoni21 to differentiate from the "other" jonibaloni as everyone is getting confused. I have been here a year now and have had lots of help thru many tr...	jonibaloni21	0	431	Aug 11, 2006 by jonibaloni21
	How did I get scapegoated for all that goes wrong with the A? (Preview) Mostly this is just a vent but I'm sure lots of other people experience this frequently if not everyday. I'm so tired of being scapegoated and blamed for things that go wrong in my A's life. He's been late for work twice this week and says, its my responsibility to wake him up. Well, I...	twinmom2	2	660	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Living Easy Does It (Preview) So I've been keeping you updated about how I've been doing and what's been going on with me. And it occured to me about what was really at the core about alot of my feelings. (And you newcomers are entitled to laugh, make comments or whatever you feel, because, yes, this is a commupance of some kind...	Tiger2006	2	555	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Hope for the people-pleaser (Preview) I heard someone say that "Being a people-pleaser can negatively affect you in many ways. I used to let other people tell me who I was. I played the role assigned to me by my current family and my family of origin. And living and going to school in a small communit...	BeBlessed	3	625	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Being up against it. (Preview) Its funny when you get to that point of not having anymore, I can finally set lots of limits with the A. After all I am not going to entertain it anymore. I can finally say I have had enough. I think it must be my huge martyr complex that made me feel I had to endure. I could never say to him this is n...	maresie2	4	574	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Another day, another update (Preview) This has been a full day, and it's only 12:30~I went to an al anon meeting, and we had a new comer. Which was good, I suppose. I guess what soured my desire to go back is that there was this one lady who when she's nice, she's fantastic. But when she's mean or whatever.... Like the old saying, if...	Tiger2006	3	438	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Elephant in my living room... (Preview) Husband moved back home yesterday after being seperated for 6 1/2 weeks. We have talked to each other every day since he moved out - some conversations more pleasant than others but we have seen each other only 4 times since the incident that caused our seperation. After doing my usual ru...	AlaMom	6	562	Aug 11, 2006 by hummingbird
	Thanks-this is a great site with great folks (Preview) Thank you for your responses to my problem. I wanted to let you know that my husband walked out of his outpatient assessment. He said he was telling them what he thought of them when they asked him to leave. I don’t know where this man came from. In the 12 years I have known him he...	Gramma Pat	1	456	Aug 11, 2006 by abbyal
	Gotta Be... (Preview) …haven’t really been able to participate in MIP online meetings lately (couple months anway)…able to say welcome and thank you, but not able to share. Have always struggled with living in a shell, feelings of rejections, and I can spot someone who doesn’t like a mile away – even o...	BeBlessed	4	398	Aug 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	hmm, advice, questions or comments? I am at my witts end. (Preview) Ok I worked till 8pm on Monday8/7. My A picked me up after work. she slid over to let me drive before I came outside. I was suspicious but wanted to go home. It seems she took my new friend ( the one whose A father ran out of gas and I took him to her house). This new frie...	hmrnrnmm	4	675	Aug 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	We are not Alone, thanks for the Love (Preview) 14 Hello Dear Friends, I would just like to make a few comments on some of the posts I have been reading.... I have noticed alot of people feeling alone lately....well, in my opinion we are not alone we have the wonderful support of this terriffic program and the lovely people in...	Andrea12	7	523	Aug 11, 2006 by annmarie
	missed my chance (Preview) A's sister called me and told me where he is. He is staying at this old scrum womans apt. I was not concerned he was cheating. On the way there I talked to hp. I thought well maybe his sis was lying. Maybe he won't be there. I was not anxious or mad or anything. No expectations. I did not know an apt. number...	debilyn	13	623	Aug 10, 2006 by Jeannie
	Things are getting better (Preview) I just wanted to keep y'all posted. I am loathe to admit it, but yes...you were right. God showed up on time. In style. And every detail was attended too. I went to the Woman's Center today and talked to them some more about the situation. The conversation consisted of the followi...	Tiger2006	8	596	Aug 10, 2006 by debilyn
	New, Blue, Confused (Preview) New, blue, confused, that's me. My husband is a hardcore drinker and has been for many years. He can't stay off the sauce for more than 90 days or so. He went to treatment on the 19th of July because his long time friend and I confronted him with his out of control behavior. He wa...	Gramma Pat	3	469	Aug 10, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Moments of peace in the midst of turmoil (Preview) I went to bed last night and as I was sinking down in the covers I was thinking about my present situation. My AH, whom I have been separated from the last 6 months, just sent me divorce paperwork last week. The agreement is completely one-sided (his side) and I've had to contact lawyers, et...	krise	7	511	Aug 10, 2006 by Dolphin123
	u roomies r great (Preview) I need to express my graditude Wed. nite my hubby (an A)dissappease. Once again I think he is on a binge (and I was wrong) Couldn't bare the pain again and found this web site. You pulled me through a very hard time, gave me information to help myself, and it worked.Was what u were doing before worked c...	cher	3	432	Aug 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	chat room (Preview) i really want to talk in the chat room tonight but i can't get in. i try the link and it's the right one the page came up but the place the room should come up is just and empty black box. can anyone help	daisygrl4	2	432	Aug 10, 2006 by Becky1
	Gotta Love 2am phone calls. (Preview) Hi roomies, Last night was an odd night. Kids and I got home and as soon as I walked in I knew my "A" was high like meth high. Why is that odd? He wasn't even home. I just felt it. I have learned to trust certain instincts of mine, because over the years I have learned to know the difference between my sickn...	Dolphin123	9	638	Aug 10, 2006 by hersh
	The addict and the codependent (Preview) Goes hand in hand. Its a dance that seems to get old after a while and I find myself wishing to get off the dance floor sometimes. Coming to Alanon is like getting off the dance floor for me. Getting real with myself and my wants and desires. It feels weird to let the A dance by him...	twinmom2	5	825	Aug 10, 2006 by maire rua
	No heart or soul left (Preview) I have read posts here for weeks and have posted a few myself. To be honest, I don't think anyone of you out there, regardless of your experiences, can really help anyone else. Oh, we can give our hugs and our support, but when the chips are truly down, you just have to go it alone. That is me. Alone. Most of y...	omajoy	12	684	Aug 10, 2006 by omajoy
	Weekend roundup and AHsober went with... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, We had a weekend round-up here in the northeast corner of Arizona. Many people come from afar every year. My AHsober was around because we had taken our son to the airport to fly back to start his second year of college. I asked my H to go with me to the roundup. The main reason is that there i...	nmike	2	516	Aug 10, 2006 by athena12
	Depending on the Promise (Preview) We went to my brother’s wedding last weekend. My new sister in law’s stepmother was the pariah of the whole group – so controlling, didn’t “let” her ancient husband do what he wanted, etc. You guessed it – her husband is a very active alcoholic and she’s his keeper. I thank this program and you all for hel...	Jill	5	479	Aug 10, 2006 by annmarie
	Need help (Preview) Is anyone near cape cod massachusets? spelled wrong I am sure. I don't need much. I am attempting to help someone who's mom died now she is homeless. thanks debilyn	debilyn	5	504	Aug 9, 2006 by nikkilou
	New. Not sure where to start (Preview) I just found your site last night and have been reading some posts. I have shared my problems with friends on another board (pet board) and the advice was to go to Al-Anon. It's not feasible in my life to attend meetings. I am not good in groups, I don't want to go, and don't have the tim...	whittibo	11	621	Aug 9, 2006 by drucilla06
	Is AA the "only" way to sobriety? (Preview) Hi group.... I get nervous, really nervous, when I see so many posts about alternative ways for people to gain sobriety... Yes, there are other ways, and yes, there are small percentages of people who are living testaments to those other ways.... Here is something I cut and paste...	canadianguy	12	5022	Aug 9, 2006 by Jill
	I'm tired of being the victim, I want a life (Preview) I woke up EARLY this morning and couldn't get this stuff outta my head, so here I am! Let me start by saying that I need to get this down, I know this is a safe place. So I choose to do it here. These are my opinions only and this is what is working in my life. Doxie's therapy 101 to herself I guess. ...	doxie	9	649	Aug 9, 2006 by maresie2
	new and fed up (Preview) Hi all. I have been trying to log onto the online chats but for some reason it won't work for me. So I figured I would try this. I have been with my boyfriend (an A) for 5 1/2 years now. We met at college and He has drank all of our relationship. I don't know really where to start. My A is very mean when he drinks. H...	daisygrl4	14	585	Aug 9, 2006 by Katastrophe
	the A crashed my truck again ! (Preview) On the weekend the A crashed my truck again. The whole side is all dented. He has no remorse nothing. He is like a psychopath. All he can say is "Me Me Me Me and some more me's". I know I can no longer live this life of his crazy chaos, lies and psychoapathism. I have been working on plan B for...	maresie2	6	468	Aug 9, 2006 by maresie2
	New Beginning - ODAT (Preview) I woke up this morning almost relieved and refreshed. Start of day two living my life for my HP and me! I realized some more about myself. I know I love myself enough now. So I have started making future plans for myself personal goals that I want to ...	DoN4me	2	439	Aug 9, 2006 by MsgBo
	Just to clairfy things (Preview) I just wanted to clairfy something. We seem to have 2 shadow's now. I have been getting alot of private messages in chat room, on the message board and email asking me, if the other shadow's posts are mine. They are not. Shadow1 on the message bo...	shadow1	2	474	Aug 9, 2006 by Dolphin123
	I think I used my Alanon tools last nite...(kinda long) (Preview) I don't know which Alanon tool I used last nite, but I'm sure I used one, LOL! My 18 year old daughter (eaten up by anger towards her dad, my ex) did her usual nightly routine last nite. Bear with me now... We live in this old house that we are remodeling, and the upstairs is se...	lmt123	4	438	Aug 9, 2006 by lmt123
	Did I take a step? (Preview) Hello All, first of all I want to say that finding MIP, is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. All of the post, have brought to light, so many things that I have been sweeping under the rug for so long now. Yesterday, my A, who for once was not drinking, so I took this opportuni...	bluebjade	12	829	Aug 9, 2006 by RichardA
	So many excuses (Preview) Wow, how quickly we can slip back into our old ways...it happens in a matter of seconds. I then question why am I doing this.....I am sure with all the focus on my mother and caring for her in her final days I haven't worked my program. I am finding myself an emotional mess and listening to my A...	marmare	7	740	Aug 9, 2006 by Dolphin123
	H.A.L.T. (Preview) the only thing i'm not is hungry. not in the food sense anyway. almost all my life i have had a sleep disorder. the only times i haven't have been when i was content in a relationship or feeling secure in my grandparents home. so more often than not i just can't sleep. i have tried it all. massage worked but m...	serendipity	2	431	Aug 9, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Scared to go home tonight (Preview) I have to go home tonight to visit my mom, bro and A-dad. It was my b-day on Sunday and my bro is having surgery today, so I really have to go. I never know what to expect when I go home and I get physically ill before I go home. I guess my A-dad is on anti-depresents now, which is good, but I h...	Patches	3	486	Aug 9, 2006 by drucilla06
	Big Slip.... (Preview) Hi everyone: Well, I slipped big time. I was feeling so sure of myself and calm and everything seemed to be okay. AH called around 9:30, said he would be home soon. I have learned not to expect much, so I didn't really. I fell asleep. I wake up and look outside, worried...	hersh	9	560	Aug 9, 2006 by drucilla06
	Are you living just for today? Or are you living in the past worrying about the future? (Preview) I find myself daily worrying about things I have no control over. I find myself time to time dwelling in the past with feelings of guilt. Guilt for what? Guilt because I didnt do everything I could, or the I should have's , when the A was still here. Or guilt for things I did when the A was here?. My reactions...	gardengal	6	507	Aug 9, 2006 by Karilynn
	A good week (Preview) Hi all Thought I have bent your collective ears so much the last couple of weeks with my "woe is me" attitude that I would post a more upbeat message to the forums. It has been a good week. To put it in context, ten years ago I would have said that it has been a pretty nondescript week. Today though that is...	Mike5056	8	586	Aug 9, 2006 by Mike5056
	short thoughts (Preview) I woke this morn. thinking that I had done enough. Then I had an email from a great alanon sis, TT who basically thru me a rope to grab as I was falling into the pit. I have done all the footwork I am willing to do. The rest is out of my hands. I feel ok about if he is found, they know to contact me. If he is ok,...	debilyn	5	488	Aug 8, 2006 by Jeannie
	What Does This Mean? (Preview) Hello, All........ I am very much confused by myself today; hoping you guys could help me decipher my feelings a bit. This weekend has completely thrown me into a tailspin. My A has been active for at least eight years. In the last two years, I slowly began to notice that I wasn't feeli...	CoffeeBean3	7	687	Aug 8, 2006 by CoffeeBean3
	Let WHAT begin with me????? (Preview) Let judging, criticizing, trying to figure out, manipulating events, 'circling the wagons' with my fellow alanons in the face of my own selfish desires of what I want for my alcoholic? Looking at other alcoholics who are not even a direct portion of my life and allowing them to rent space in my head a...	Valhalla	5	622	Aug 8, 2006 by Valhalla
	My A has relapsed...I'm sad and scared (Preview) (((Everyone))) It has been a while since I have posted anything. Just working my program and staying extremely busy with work and family. Things were sailing along just fine with my A until Friday night. He went out to a bar with some friends to listen to a band and when he came hom...	twinmom2	6	541	Aug 8, 2006 by canadianguy
	How to open up? (Preview) I have trouble opening up with people. I have a sponsor who I talk to on a regular basis, as well as good friends and even family. But I just don't know how to talk about how I'm doing. I always end up talking about superficial things, or what my husband is doing or how my kids are....	allygirl	4	543	Aug 8, 2006 by canadianguy
	He's just quit - I should be happy - what's wrong with me? (Preview) My A husband recently decided to quit drinking and go to AA meetings. He went to a doctor and got Lirium to help him. He started taking that on Friday night (last drink was Thursday night), and has been to two AA meetings a day since. I was so happy that he'd come to this decision by himself (he ran int...	dwell	10	625	Aug 8, 2006 by Jerry F
	He's the one that drank, but I'm the one he's mad at??? (Preview) Hi, Does this sound familar to anyone? It seems to be a pattern that I have seen since my AH started drinking again. So many times I am the one he is mad at the next day. He gives me the cold shoulder because I might have said something about his drinking that offended him. Well...	lovescoping	5	541	Aug 8, 2006 by maresie2
	So anyway more on my soap opera of a life (long & somewhat boring) (Preview) So we lost power last nite till around 6am. I could not sleep & was burning up. It was in the 80's here. I opened a window & it did not help not a breeze one. My A slept like a snoring baby. I took my new sleep pills & I think it has the opposite effect on me. I could not shut my bra...	hmrnrnmm	4	590	Aug 8, 2006 by maresie2
	Your eccentric alanon sister (Preview) Ok here is the next step in my footwork. If my A is not found, and I am well enough, I am packing up my horse, Chief, and we are heading to town. Actually I will have someone trailor him over there. We are going to hit the streets and cause attention so maybe people will really take me seriou...	debilyn	6	580	Aug 8, 2006 by Jerry F
	face to face meetings??? (Preview) HI all. I wrote my first post yesterday and I REALLY appreciate the responses. I can't believe how much a few responses helps and gets me thinking. My question tonight is what are face to face meetings like? For some reason I am so nervous about attending one. Can I get...	daisygrl4	8	633	Aug 8, 2006 by Tiger2006
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.