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life is running smoothly - do i need alanon
(Preview)
A year has gone by since my husband had his left kidney out due to cancer. He's busy at work, attending union meetings, told his drinking buddy he needs a few months by himself since he's busy w/work. Our son turned 14 and doesnt want his mother to fill up all his free time (Hey I was lucky to have his compani...
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Barbara
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10
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703
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In remembrance
(Preview)
A day shall come when shall not hold these hands,
nor "see" these dear familiar faces,
Therefore, let us cheerish our Loved ones NOW,
...while there is time,
and hold them close
and treat them with all great tenderness.
For soon, ... so soon we must part,
...and we shall not "find" them a...
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Karilynn
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6
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517
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Things that finally needed to be said
(Preview)
I have a long history with my son's father an A. 18 years, we have had alot of problems lately in reguards to our son. I haven't really talked to him since I joined recovery. But my son had made a decission I had to respect his thoughts and opinions as he is growing in being a teenager. He wanted to go stay with...
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DoN4me
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1
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417
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Keeping the Focus on Me!
(Preview)
Learning to keep the focus on me has been the hardest thing for me to accomplish. Being a mother of five, the sister of 6, the daughter of Daniel and Barbara and the wife of George.... I was totally lost at who I was, who I was suppose to be and what it was that I truly wanted for myself....
My father w...
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WolfSong
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2
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594
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Thanks for all your support
(Preview)
I just want to thank everyone for their support, especially Jerry F for reminding me that I choose my consequences. I put a collect call block on the phone and haven't heard from him again. I wonder here and there about what's going on. He helped me move in so he could theoretically s...
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carolinagirl
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1
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368
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guilt, anxiety....help?
(Preview)
I really need some help. I am feeling a lot of guilt and anxiety and so unclear which direction to go. I am engaged but wondering should I marry my A? He doesn't drink but just had a relapse. We were stuck in a terrible obessive cycle just before the relapse. We've broken that cy...
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twinkie
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6
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549
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Update
(Preview)
Hi (((Everyone))),
Just wanted to say hi and let you know what's up with me. This summer has been a whirlwind as I have been making 3 or 4 ftf meetings a week even in the TX heat with no a/c in my car! I have been proud of myself that I (gasp - are you sititng down for this one) - I ASKED FOR HELP.&n...
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cedarpines
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6
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404
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should I marry this guy?
(Preview)
Hi,
I'm SO grateful for the Al-Anon program, it has helped me SO much in the 8 months I've been coming to meetings! I've started working the steps and have a sponsor, and I love love LOVE this program!
My question is about making major life decisions -- in particular, whether to marry my boyfr...
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AllyNon
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16
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681
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to hmrnrnmm & Agoraphobia
(Preview)
This is the Hero of the dysfunctional family/alcoholic family. I read another post hmrnrnmm had and wanted to share why those who experience this in the adult years.
People who develop panic attacks were often denied their childhoods. Yes, they were children. But often, they were require...
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kissers
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0
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495
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44 going on 13
(Preview)
HI all,
Feeling kinda weird... nervous. Anxious. Sometimes, I feel like I do/say things and then I look back at them and think, "Oh gosh, I didn't handle that very well." "I should've worded that better" (to avoid offending someone or hurting his feelings) "Why was I afraid to be clear?" (ins...
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itsgot2bgd
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6
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631
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Coming to some tough realizations.
(Preview)
(((Hello Family)))
Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I myself have been coming to some tough resolutions. I had counseling with the A on Thursday and told him and the counselor that I'm tired of being a victim and have realized how unhealthy I've become. Whether the A is wi...
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twinmom2
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4
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506
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Humble ....
(Preview)
(((((Good morning friends)))))
I am truly humble on a day like today. So many died and so many families have suffered a loss. I hope that somewhere in this is the reason my son is in combat overseas. I spent a day with my AHsober. It never goes very well. But even in that I can find things to put on my gratit...
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nmike
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2
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526
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Thinking about racing thoughts
(Preview)
In one of my meetings, someone mentioned their racing thoughts. A lot of people seemed to relate, me included.
In my effort to deal with my racing thoughts, I wonder why we even have them. Are these thoughts generally about what needs to get done? Are we always trying to solve our problems,...
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BeBlessed
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4
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546
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was this control? part 2 is this my illness?
(Preview)
Thank you all, so much, for responding to my last post. Reading your responses has helped me to feel more secure about my action to not stop for him. Today, he stayed in bed all day. Its been 30 hours that he's been in bed. I have gone about my day... offering to talk if he wanted t...
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pearlygirrl
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2
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561
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Trying to Breathe "Sane" Air
(Preview)
((MIP Family)) - I have missed all of you - it has been over a week since I have been able to get on line - and what a week it has been - just a brief summary of the chaos - medical issues for me, death of a dear Aunt, a 26 yr old niece in ICU because of her addiction - with only a 10 % chance of survival, our daughter re...
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Rita G
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6
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1180
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New Here
(Preview)
Hello all I am new here... I joined tonight after laying in my bed attempting to feel sorry for myself.. I have been in the program for about 3 years now and feel for the first time in about a year that I am loosing my grip on my serenity....
It has been hard for me to attend f2f meetings as my work hours are sp...
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WolfSong
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6
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456
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Stepping out of the Darkness
(Preview)
Hello Dear Friends,
Well, started my new job this week, have been in training all week.....omg.....it is a biatch...lol. I am sure once I actually start the job...instead of looking at everything on paper form I am going to like it.....wow...I have forgotten how wonderful it is to have a piece of...
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Andrea12
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5
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520
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Guilt Trip
(Preview)
Hello
Another update on my situation. I had my A/cocaine-addicted husband served with divorce papers on Tuesday. He's still living here in our house with me. He claims to have no place to go.
As you can imagine, things are rather uncomfortable around here. He's been doing everything he can t...
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artygirl
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5
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408
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Wanted to Share
(Preview)
Hello my fellow friends.
It has been a week since I wrote my first post and so many of you have shared great words of wisdom that I was able to apply into my life. I wanted to share where I am today, a week later. Last night I went to an open meeting with my A. It was in...
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WifeinDespair
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3
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481
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Update;What do I do?
(Preview)
Hello Friends,
Well, I did go over to my grandaughter's cross country meet ... she did very well btw. 
After it was over we went on into town. On the way in we called my daughters house and got no answer, so we went on by anyway. As I suspected, there was no answer. So we went o...
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irish54
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4
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675
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making obstacles smaller
(Preview)
I have many significant obstacles in front of me in my task to get out from under the A. Finances alway seem to have been part of the issue in my dealing with the A. Another is my depression. I overate to compensate for that. In the last few weeks I have joined o.a. and lost 13 lbs I am on my way to m...
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maresie2
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2
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621
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doubting myself
(Preview)
Hi all, I had a hard weekend visit with my mom this last week. My parents are splitting up after 30 yrs and I find myself stuck somewhere in the middle. I think what it boils down to is that mom wants me to pick sides, and since i dont want to, she assumes i'm on dad's side. I feel like i'm a k...
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mastiff
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8
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563
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Good days
(Preview)
Hi all, since i quit my job (still have 3 weeks left) i'm in a great form, so here is another joke
have a nice day
Love Daisy
His and Her Road Trip
HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit. opens window asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer Arrives at destination presently. HIS: Pulls off at wron...
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daisy2
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0
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345
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DRINKING AND DRIVING AGAIN!!
(Preview)
 My A continues to Drink and drive, even after his last dui distroyed us and has still not been settled, I just can't believe he keeps doing it. I came home from work and he went to work out drunk again and took my car. What kind of mental defective works out drunk. We had a boundry of n...
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kingston
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19
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760
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mark is coming home
(Preview)
He will be in home sometime today. THe doctor says he is doing good enough to come home. Seems he was in detox not rehab. I can't wait to see him this afternoon. course Ima little nervous to. I just keep telling myself to take one day at a time.
barb
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marks girl
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6
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422
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I'm not supposed to figure him out....
(Preview)
I know I'm not supposed to try and figure out what is going on in the A's head, but it's so hard at times. I think my A has given up drinking, but has not said a word to me. His last attempt was last November and it lasted until the first weekend of February. After the conversation this pas...
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marmare
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3
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596
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in a week an a half his mother goes
(Preview)
In a week and a half his mother goes to live in another state and will be gone out of my life for probably ever that is physically although I have not physically seen her for years, her presence around the A is ever present.... And like my anger at the A a lot of anger is swirling at her. She was incredib...
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maresie2
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3
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449
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JUST FEELING SAD TODAY
(Preview)
Next month it will be one year since my son and dil separated. Everyone seems to be going forward in their lives except me. I am trying but some days when I think about each of them dating someone else and maybe starting new lives, saddness just overwhelms me. I have 2 granddaughters that we all love dearl...
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Gailey
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6
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421
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Coincidence, I think not
(Preview)
If you look at my last posting about trying to figure stuff out you will see that a prayer will help so much. My HP is giving me just what I need when I am ready for it. I have to smile at this one....I picked up my "Learning to Let Go" for my reading this morning, Sept. 9th, and today's reading i...
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marmare
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3
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610
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Funny
(Preview)
Hi All,
time to time i browse in AA site and found this, i had to share
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ''House'' for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is masculi...
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daisy2
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2
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526
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was this control?
(Preview)
I'm so confused. There's no meeting available to me tonight, and I'm not good about using the phone list... so I come here. Thank you for being here. Background: My husband is an alcoholic. Has been in rehab, 3 weeks in June, and 2 weeks in August that was mandated by the law.&...
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pearlygirrl
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5
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590
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Death of a friend (long)
(Preview)
I met my friend Byron in 1994 when we went to music school together in Princeton, NJ. He was one of the most charismatic, charming people I had ever met. He charmed you into anything with his smile. He had been pretty sheltered till college and the first week of school he had his first alcoholic drink and t...
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tigerlilli44
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6
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616
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Jonibaloni where are you?
(Preview)
Has anyone heard from Jonibaloni? I happened to remember that today was her birthday and was shocked to find her status was deleted.
If you are still out there Jonibaloni, Happy Birthday.
Not to be confused with Texasjoni21 formally known as Jonibaloni21. (Come to think of it, haven't se...
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sld488
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0
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338
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I do not need people in my life anymore.
(Preview)
I am on the verge of shutting down again. I will continue to do my readings but I do not want to go into the public. I started going to meetings around Feb/ March of 2006. I suppose I pick the lunch bunch hour because it was bound to be small.
Thursday was my first time in awhile I have been able to get to a f2f m...
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hmrnrnmm
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6
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537
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Decision to divorce has been made
(Preview)
I finally succeeded in detaching myself completely from my AH. I probably didn't do this in the exact right way, but it is working. I met someone else who lives about 40 miles from me and I've been spending some time with him. I am not crying on his shoulder or using him as a crutch, but it is nice to spend tim...
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Lindy
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5
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679
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Blessed Be the Tie That Binds
(Preview)
Well, tomorrow (September 9) is my AH and my 6th wedding anniversary. After the crazy stuff he did the other night, he has calmed down. And I have remained calm throughout. This must surely be God (or HP'S) Blessing on me. Serenity! AHHHH...
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Becky1
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7
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526
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What does a sponsor do for you?
(Preview)
I have been reading the posts about sponsorship. Just thought this might be a good question to ask. If you never had one, how would a person know?
Do I need one or don't I? I sure didn't think I did at first. I had this wonderful place online...
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greta
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4
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903
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Trying to not take it personally
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
..."boring, workaholic who labels me an Alcoholic"
That was the sentiment of a conversation my AW and I had last night. I didn't address boring or workaholic at all... I went ahead and agreed on those. *patting himself on the back* But I didn't pass up the la...
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rtexas
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8
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605
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what do I do?
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I'm sorry I haven't posted on here for a long time, but I do visit often and read your ESH often. Thank you for that. You have helped me tremendously.
My situation is this; My Son in law was killed in a car accident June 1st. His daughter, my grandaughter's birthday w...
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irish54
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6
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649
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Let go and let God
(Preview)
Throughtout my life, I have always had trouble with insomnia, it seems to be getting worse.. I have been reading books on the subject, getting pills to help me,even tried drinking myself to oblivion, seemed to work for my A, lol.All THAT did was give me a miserable headache! Nothing seems to wor...
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TLC2
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6
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568
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Be Away for a while
(Preview)
My wonderful friends,
I am off now. I am going to Texas for the week and won't be back on the boards until Sunday the 17th or so. I am attending an International City Managers Conference in San Antonio which I am excited about and hope to meet up with some of you Texans.
Take good care of yo...
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Maria123
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7
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446
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Wisdom to know the difference
(Preview)
Two months ago, my bf's ex decided she wanted her daughter back. Her reason was because my bf/her ex was never home.(he does travel a lot) And she felt like it was not the gf's(me) job to raise their daughter. I have grown to love this little girl as my own. (I shouldn't say little, she...
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sld488
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4
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660
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martyrdom
(Preview)
When I am able to take a step back from my relationship with the A I can see I have really been forced into this martyr role. I think that by giving I am showing love. In fact with this specific A there is never enough for him. When he was ill, I was the 'only ' one there for him. All his "friends" sc...
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maresie
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1
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486
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My turn...Lone Member Services??prayers for my SS hearing needed
(Preview)
I read last nite Sept 6 Hope for Today about Lone Member Services? Does anyone know how I can find out more about this? I could go for this Lone Member Services. I would appreciate any more information.
I am like this Geographically challenged (30 to 45 miles one way), disabled ( I sometimes need help t...
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hmrnrnmm
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6
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1829
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No topic. Just rambling.
(Preview)
So I've been reading the posts the past few days, reminding myself that each person is in perfect process with their higher power. But I keep noticing a pattern.
I don't hear people talk about what their sponsor said. That they have a sponsor. That they're using their sponsor.
...
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Tiger2006
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8
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598
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ODAT is my friend today
(Preview)
Today I am carrying around my ODAT (One Day at a Time in Al-Anon book). I feel too weak to run errands by myself so "she" will be my friend for the day. Do you ever get that feeling like you are the only person in the world that understands your thoughts and feelings? And that you are isolated and completely a...
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Strong4myboys
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3
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461
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The frog experiment
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
Thanks for all the kind words yesterday, it really helped me out.
There is a story one of my old professors told in class about frogs. Something my sponsor sent me made me think of it and I thought you might want to hear it.
It was a biology experiment on cold blooded...
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rtexas
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6
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472
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Husband hit rock bottom
(Preview)
Well, something that i thought would never happen to me in amillion years, happened last night: Husband physically attacked me. He came home drunk and got upset with me b/c he blew into my face and I told him to stop. It started int he bedroom and it ended up throughout the house endi...
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desperate for help
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12
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552
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Canadianguy
(Preview)
If Isabela's posts suggest to you that she is "dangerously close" to rejecting AlAnon tenets, what must you think of mine? Yours is the attitude I feel is "dangerously close" to suggesting that no one is allowed to disagree with any teachings of AlAnon. I think for myself, and while I agree with AlAnon...
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Diva
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5
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672
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A truth awakening!
(Preview)
I had a rude truth awakening this weekend. This is the first weekend my husband actually couldn't drink cuz we went to a camp w/the cancer society. They didn't allow any alcohol. He actually went two nights w/o anything! But, of coarse, as soon as we get home, he had to go buy s...
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smpoli
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3
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428
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son's court date continued
(Preview)
Hello dear friends,
My son got to court this morning and the judge wasn't there. He was out on sick leave. No one had informed my son's attorney. There was another judge there, but attorney felt that it would be in son's best interest to get a continuance until the other judge came...
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Lexie
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5
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536
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Just moved out
(Preview)
Well I am new to this have been to a couple of alanon meetings but have difficulty getting there with 3 kids in tow who can't sit still for 5 mins. much less an hour. My alcoholic addict husband is stranded somewhere in Arizona and I get the collect calls begging for money. It's a very very lon...
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carolinagirl
|
7
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645
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Abandoment
(Preview)
(((((((((Family)))))))))),
I had been thinking about posting this since I read it. But Tiger's most recent post really convinced me to do it.  Thank you Tiger.
This is from: More on the Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Stand up to your fear of aband...
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Karilynn
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6
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563
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Isabala where are you??
(Preview)
Ok what is going on??? How are you and what are you up to??
love,debilyn
|
debilyn
|
1
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430
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Panic feelings...
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
Just need to vent, it feels better usually.
Don't know what to think, what to do. I go crazy thinking about things so I try to pray a lot. After confronting AH with the cell phone bill he claimed it was only a friend, that they did date while we were separated this year (I left...
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hersh
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5
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489
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the double bind
(Preview)
Essentially what the A puts me in all the time from morning to night and during my sleep is a double bind. He is always telling me that he does not have time for me or my needs. Yet at the same time, he demands and cajoles and manipulates to get all his needs met. The only thing that matters are hi...
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maresie
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4
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528
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Lonely
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I am new to this message board but not to Al Anon. Meetings are hard to get to as they conflict with my work schedule most of the time. I am thankful for this board. I've been reading some posts and I guess I should be lucky my AH does not go into any loud hysterics or become ph...
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Daisy
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7
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476
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I Live in A Crazy House
(Preview)
Last night, I went to the Dr. cos my right thumb has been hurting really bad for a couple of weeks. I do assembly work, and use tools, so it has been very hard at work. Anyway, went to Dr., got an x-ray, went to pharmacy.
Got home, kissed AH hello, he was fine. Couple of hours later, he i...
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Becky1
|
14
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503
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just as I predicted
(Preview)
Hello
Yesterday, while high on cocaine, my A husband was understanding about being served with divorce papers. Yesterday we agreed to be pleasant about this and maintain a friendly relationship. He was apologetic about how he has screwed us up financially and otherwise.
Today, the drugs ha...
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artygirl
|
5
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494
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Resentment again
(Preview)
Hey guys,
I am feeling resentment towards my ex bf A, whose been sober 4 months.....some of you know, he and I decided to take a break after his stint in rehab so he could focus on his recovery and me to do the same. He was literally at deaths door and both our sponsors thought it was best for our relation...
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beachbaby
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5
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424
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