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step two.....came to believe/ what you would not believe
(Preview)
you would not believe what is going on here today.
i am glad i don't have kids around to see the idiocity of this behavior.
the other night i told my husband , "i am not going to act dumb anymore so you can feel smart."
well, today we were watching a true life program on TV about a plane crash. I sa...
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jewely
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9
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401
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frustrated and REALLY feeling angry
(Preview)
Hello
This anger has been building for several days.
My soon-to-be ex A/cocaine-addicted husband was fired from his job back in September, around the same time I filed for divorce. He's still not working. Apparently, he fought his former employer and was able to get unemployment benefits just...
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artygirl
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11
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407
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How can I help my 12 year old son?
(Preview)
Hey there guys!
As many of you know, I am pretty new to alanon ... I'm really liking what I'm reading, learning and gaining from all of you - thank you. However, I am not new to alcoholism - in fact I was born into it. Now, I'm married into it. This experience is all new to my 12 year old s...
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Spiritually Calm
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4
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358
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So this is how my day has went ...
(Preview)
I was thinking I would write in my journal right about now ... but then I thought I would post what I would've written ... it may even prove to be much more therapeutic. It is my AH's 41st birthday today. I picked him up from work at 8am, as usual (I'm off for the holiday week - yahoo!)&nb...
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Spiritually Calm
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4
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418
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God sure speaks in mysterious ways.....
(Preview)
Just now, tonight, at 11:46 p.m., I looked at the inspirational reading for December 29. Here is what it says, and if anyone has been keeping up with my posts, this is an eye-opener:
I will be having his sister pick him and his stuff up in the morning. And as my heart is breaking, here...
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hippietrippiechick
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3
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300
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To ALL: please help----needing a sponsor real bad--MAJOR LIFE CHANGE OCCURING AS I SPEAK
(Preview)
Hello and happy Saturday morning (early--6:30am) to all
I have put things into action and my A's sister is due to come here and come pick him and his stuff up. I will push it. I am calling her as early as possible to give her a heads up that my A and I have talked about i...
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hippietrippiechick
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4
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385
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Breakthrorugh! (at the art museam, no less!)
(Preview)
Today I finally ponied up and rode down town to the local art museam, where various pieces of Rembrant are on loan. Seeing that the museam will be open tomorrow, I realized, "Hey, I have to work today--why not come back tomorrow when I can take all the time I want in the exibits and not have to worry about it...
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Tiger2006
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6
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308
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Thats it...Im out. (HELP)
(Preview)
Okay. im new here. It seems like a lot of people come her when they are out of options and just need a little help. well, add me to the list of those people cause im building a bridge an im over this crap. yeah, im a little pissed off. I feel totaly cheated. okay stop...rewi...
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Klutz
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4
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411
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I want to start
(Preview)
I haven't done any steps or anything, I just feel so isolated I don't know what to do. My husband has been drinking for about a year now, but before that he hasn't drank in about 20 years, being an active member of AA/NA. I guess we wanted to be normal and drink a glass of wine like everyone else, but it soon be...
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RainyJamie
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10
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528
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Taking Meds is one of my issues!
(Preview)
Dare I bring up this heat filled subject again?
The discussions on this in the past have put my mind to unrest. I realized this morning I have an "issue" with this subject. My insanity starts in the morning. Bright and early. Depending on how quick I get to my HP and an alanon...
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greta
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5
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387
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Drunk envy
(Preview)
Something that I have seen a lot in myself, and can tell that others do it too, from posts here, is to envy the drunk.
"He gets to sit in the bar, while I have to blah blah" we say. He's out drinking, or passed out in front of the TV, while we raise the kids, keep the house, earn the living, be the adult. The l...
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lin0606
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21
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703
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Are the Games Beginning Again?
(Preview)
I determined in September I could no longer live with my AH, active or not. When he returned from detox/rehab, I took the kids (7-1/2, nearly 6 and nearly 4 now) and left. I just can't trust him, and can't live with the insanity any longer. I filed for divorce, and we've put our...
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lmw
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4
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394
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Divorce party
(Preview)
I'm simply looking for your opinions on this one.
A friend of mine in the program is getting a divorce from her husband the A after 20 years of marriage. They are both known well in the local programs.
Yesterday I received an email from her announcing a divorce party when she gets her final pap...
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Mobirdie
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2
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268
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Just too FUNNNY!!!
(Preview)
I'm witnessing my 70 lb German Shephard play with a 1 1/2 lb Ferret!!!! I can't describe it but it is one of the most funny things I've ever seen... my shep is so gentle... but doesn't keep her from puttin her big paw on the ferrets tail and keeping her in one place... aww jeez
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CJ
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4
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359
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Celebrating New Year's Eve
(Preview)
Just wanted to briefly talk about New Year's Eve - if any of your lives are like mine - before recovery I spent many a New Year's Eve miserable. Usually at a family party I didn't want to go to, watching people drink, play cards, etc. - just nothing enjoyable for me.
Thankfully today, I have a prog...
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Rita G
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6
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310
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Don't know if I can do this after all...
(Preview)
Hi there everyone.
Some of you may remember my story from about 6 months ago, for those that don't it is the usual one. My partner started going to AA about 8 months ago after she was arrested in our own home and finally admitted to having a problem.
Being a guy I did the usual guy stuff....I stood by her...
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Mike5056
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13
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549
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Feeling my rage today...
(Preview)
Where does this stuff come from? I've been fine all week and then this afternoon - wham! I met my A at the health club and we were talking about his son, he made a very innocent comment which made me stand my ground and stand up for myself. That wasn't bad. What was bad was t...
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twinkie
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2
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335
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I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! WHATEVER!
(Preview)
OH....OK....I guess I put a gun to your mother's head and FORCED her to go sign papers with me to get help for YOU...because you don't have a drinking problem! I guess I put a gun to your brother's head and FORCED him to stay on the phone ALL DAY looking for someway to get you help...because YOU don't have a d...
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afmom03
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3
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422
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Fifth Step
(Preview)
I have havered at my fifth step for too long. I need someone to do my fifth step with now - as in, as soon as possible. If you are in the USA, and can be reached by phone or have an e-mail address or instant messenger I could communicate with you by, and would volunteer to hear my brief story, I des...
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LoriaR
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1
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272
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Another date night ...
(Preview)
I went to my counselor the other day and he told me to be patient, live in the moment and not to be so hard on myself. To give my husband the time he wants to figure this out on his own.. Then I spoke to my husband that agreed that he needed "space" time to be alone to "fix" himself. Although it was hard to hear b...
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Tammy
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6
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384
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Thanks
(Preview)
I really appreciate the replies I rec'd re: grandkids and DIL -. I have read over and over my books on communication etc---and I am soooooooo afraid to "say anything" to her--like I don't want to "rock the boat" But I already suffer with very high BP and I know this does not help. So I a...
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meagain
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0
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213
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Ashamed to be like a newcomer again..
(Preview)
im posting here again lately and feel ashamed and angry at mysef for doing so. even though posting here is probably keeping me sane.
i allowed myself to fall into the same pattern of being the doormat where my ex "A" was concerned. after swearing to myself that i wuld not allow any other man to treat me t...
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Rebecca
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7
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367
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restless mind
(Preview)
so i can't sleep either while my A boyfriend is away at rehab...i get up with my mind racing on negative codependant thoughts.....am i visiting too much(each weekend)?does he reallywant me to visit?i want time with him,not all his new addict friends?what about me?would he be driving 2 hours to see me...
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Fifi
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5
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239
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Addiction, adultry, and abuse-- an impediment to a functional marriage
(Preview)
Dr. Laura Schlessinger talks about the three A's, any of which is an impediment to a functional marriage -- and those are adultery, addiction, and abuse. Well, guess what boys and girls-- I got to endure all 3 of them by my A husband. What a guy!!! How did I get so lucky? I firmly believe that...
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snoopy
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12
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621
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What do I do?
(Preview)
How do I deal with my hubby? He's gone back to drinking again. I don't know what to do.
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mookie
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7
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347
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Can anyone give me a little info
(Preview)
I have a friend here in England who has never mastered the English language. Her first language is Cantonese. Second language Manderin.
She's really struggling here. As you will all know living with active alcoholism is isolating at the best of times but with a language barrier this is compounded...
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mon123
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4
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447
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a very gross story
(Preview)
i grew up in an alcoholic home. denile was what our family was based on. my uncle was the drunk, died of the disease. he would be stinking drunk, falling down the stairs and my mother would look me right in the eye and say he wasn't drunk. so, when i grew up and married an alcoholic/crack addict and he said he...
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serendipity
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9
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490
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be careful what you ask for
(Preview)
Be careful what you ask for, because when you find out you might just have to do something about it. I just wanted to know for sure and now I do.
A quick update... my AH and I reconciled 6 months ago after he had been clean and sober and working a program. Sometime this past fall that nagging feeling bega...
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confused
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6
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360
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Today I am a newcomer - humility...
(Preview)
If I had to get a 24 hour coin for every time I relapsed, what a collection I would have. What a great reminder to me that sobriety is one day at a time, for me and my alcoholic husband. As I slip in my own recovery, why am I so obsessed with whether or not he is slipping in his? Why am I focusing on him and not on mys...
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confused
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6
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375
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IM TAKING TIME OUT OF CHATROOM
(Preview)
((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))
I'm finding It really hard just now with things In my life. I think I have hit a rock bottom the last few days. I am crying all the time, feeling sorry for Ally. So I think the best think I can do Is spend some time with just me. Try to work through some of...
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ally
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18
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669
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Cannot Sleep
(Preview)
I took the chance to go see my orignal sponsor while my bf was here visiting at Xmas. My orignal sponsor was AA and went back to drinking. It was a sad sight to see him in such bad shape. This man who was my sponsor was once about a good 275 and now he is skin and bones. What w...
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ZiggyDoodles
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4
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259
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Feeling used
(Preview)
: i guess over the years-I have turned into a people pleaser. I think living with in the past and having a A brother and X husband-I was always trying to keep the peace. Well now as I am older and perhaps tired (lol) I no longer can do that. My DIL leaves her kids with me for 2 weeks during working...
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meagain
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4
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430
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Anger & letting go
(Preview)
I've been struggling with letting something go. When I first met my A I was 18 and in College working for a resturaunt. He came in to see an old girlfriend and there began my relationship w/ my A. Now what I'm struggling with is the anger I have about the lie... the lie that set me to beli...
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Lunamoth
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10
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1287
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So I blew a gasket earlier LOL
(Preview)
Okay, I should have offered you all some cheese to go with my last post as it was a very big whine LOL.
We've had the flu here and I've had tooooo much time to lay around and think -- stinking thinking. One thing I've always been asked is "Do you really think your A sits and thinks about you as much as y...
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Lunamoth
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7
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465
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WE HAD A BLOWOUT FIGHT HE IS PACKED UP... NOW WHAT?
(Preview)
I am going to explain the blow out my A and I had last night, but now all his shit is piled in bags all over my living room. He keeps blaming me. I can't lay down right at night like him. My mind is always open. I stay up until I am ready to sleep. Sometimes sleep doesn't come for a long time. H...
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hippietrippiechick
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2
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385
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Come on Happy Dance With Me
(Preview)
Ziggy is a very happy girl today!!!! I will be happy dancing all night long...getting my groove going!!!!!!!!!!
My BF who lives 500 miles away called this afternoon to ask if he could come stay a while with me......"Uh Hello? This is me you are talking to! Staying with me is a GIVE...
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ZiggyDoodles
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5
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381
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SLIVERS AND DAGGERS
(Preview)
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING FEELING LIKE I HAD SLIVERS IN MY BRAIN AND DAGGERS IN MY BACK.
christmas is over, and, it was so HARD. throughout the holiday, i justkept coming to my computer and typing whatever my brain told my fingers to do. i would look back on what i wrote and think..........,
"uh...
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jewely
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9
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380
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busy mac57
(Preview)
Hi all,
I have my friend working on my house in the mornings, with me as his helper/runner/employer; then I work at night. It's been a bit grueling, and this is a tired boy. My friend is dear, funny and kind, as well as a professional, and an active A. I couldn't have imagined how tiresome dealing with th...
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mac57
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11
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560
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Husband says his anger is my fault
(Preview)
My husband who is divorcing me told our family doctor that I am at fault for his raging, his anger, his abuse, his cheating and I guess all his other problems. He said that I make him crazy and that is why he broke his hand pounding on the chair. I made him rag...
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snoopy
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35
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1982
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When is enuf, enuf and ok for me to express my needs?
(Preview)
So this morning my AH needs money to buy alchohol. (He drinks at least 5 days/wk) Lately my concern has been the amount of money that he spends on it. I have told him that he can drink all he wants if he can afford it. We are married and consider the money "ours". However, I...
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Spiritually Calm
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5
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368
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weird and confusing
(Preview)
hey guys
its 12 o clock midnight here in Ireland, wind is howling and rain lashing off the window.. im sitting in my bedroom with C.S.I Miami on in the background and a steaming mug of hot chocolate...
im just after a phonecall with my ex "A"... he had rang earlier in the day saying he was visiti...
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Rebecca
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2
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265
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So what happens next ????
(Preview)
It has been a while since I have posted, why I am not sure.. I have read posts just havent posted myself.
It has been almost 4 months since my seperation from my husband. He is still living in the camper at a campground across town while the kids and I are in the house. While we are seperated we talk sever... >>
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Tammy
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7
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594
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Here it comes, I think
(Preview)
He was trying to draw me into a stupid game with the phone and it didn't work. The next day he called me and waited for the reaction from me that he hoped for - angry, yelling,etc. - so he could tell me I had a problem. Take things off him and put it on me....
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jaja
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4
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332
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Had to share
(Preview)
I found this quote a couple days ago and decided that I had to share....I will write more when time allows, work, home, and grandkids keeping this girl busy, but still read the posts here and am working my program! Love ya all!!!
Hugs Mary
“I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adj...
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marmare
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1
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254
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A love story
(Preview)
..Juliette leans longingly over the balcony. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Romeo tumbles into her balcony and staggers over to her, and breathily whispers to her in hot boozy breath "hey bebe, sorry I'm late, but you know how it is, mama. Howzz about a kuss.."...
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mama_nz
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4
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350
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He made it to detox/rehab yesterday...
(Preview)
Well, he finally made it through the doors of the detox centre. He was scarred - yes most definately but before he went he tipped the last of his vodka bottle out.
It is just me and my son now for the next two weeks. I'm not silly in my expectation that when he gets out he will be cured and all wi...
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bear
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6
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346
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Feeling anger .. a vent
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
I've been having judgemental and uncharitable thoughts towards my As family lately. For years now they have held the belief that I kept him from being around them, participating in activities. i admit sometimes I did try to, for the most part though while my A was trying to stay s...
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Jennifer
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3
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398
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I took the high road, but it still hurts
(Preview)
Ok, I do need ESH here. I did take the high road regarding my A's EX at his family's Christmas morning breakfast and gift-giving. I have never spoken ill of her to his daughter, nor have I spoken cross to her in any way...always nice, always positive.
Christmas morning...I saw her when w...
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lmt123
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9
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557
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Be careful what you wish for
(Preview)
For the last 6 years or so the A has spent every Christmas with his mother. I used to be so filled with jealousy and abandonment about it. I had some kind of fantasy that if he were around he would be "there".
Well this year I got to experience a Christmas with the a. He had tantrums,...
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maresie2
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4
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409
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I think I took a step backwards
(Preview)
I told awhile ago of my plan to give my A son money and hold his car until he could buy it back. Well, it didn't happen right away but has finally about 2 weeks ago.
Anyway, he is at my home this week because his daughters are spending the week with us. He had a cyst under his arm which had become infected. H...
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Gailey
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8
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399
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Another tough learning experience. Help......
(Preview)
I am very ok now.
I woke up today and decided to get some pictures together for my adoptive mom. After three nights in a row of my loved ones dieing, the ones who are dead, Richard M Tyson/an actor falling in love with me and wow can he kiss. I was telling him I could not sleep with him until we wer...
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debilyn
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9
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584
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my first time here
(Preview)
Hello.
This is my first time reaching out on line or in any way. I fell in love with an alchoholic a year ago - just brought him to detox 2 weeks ago - pick him up tomorrow. I am scared,confused, don't know where to start over, don't know how to hold onto me, am afraid of doing the wrong thing, afraid of not be...
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Fifi
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13
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497
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Thought for Today
(Preview)
This is a reading from a little perpetual inspiration calendar my dear friend gave me before she died last year. She died December 29, 2005.
The Mountanins are God's thoughts piled up.
The ocean is God's thoughts spread out.
The flowers are God's thoughts in...
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hippietrippiechick
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0
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233
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oh God he came back. Why did I let him and his clan in?
(Preview)
I am feeling like I am losing my mind. I spoke to my A and he was supposed to be be on his way home, which he knew I was against, and brought his little twin clan of partyers with him. this is MY Apartment.
How do I put my foot down?
Now I am getting scared.
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hippietrippiechick
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24
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581
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detox days
(Preview)
hi
so any advice on how to handle the time away from a boyfriend who is in rehab for the next few weeks? i am trying to take care of me - but even that seems to revolve around handling my emotions about him - fielding heavy interactions from his extended family - etc. i am a single mom with two kids and them an...
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Fifi
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4
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237
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principles above personalities
(Preview)
Dear Family,
Since this is the twelfth month of the year, a lot of face to face groups focus on the twelfth step and twelfth tradition. When I first came into the program I was always kind of insulted when people addressed the traditions as something the newcomer cannot possibly understand...
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lovette
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4
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532
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an Artygirl update
(Preview)
Hello everyone
I've been around here, reading all your posts, just haven't posted much lately.
I had to go to court last week. My attorney had my AH appear before the judge. He violated a court order freezing all assets by cashing in his retirement account. It was the first time I've seen my AH sin...
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artygirl
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7
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364
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A Christmas Gift for Everyone!
(Preview)
For all members of Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums, I and Rose designed a small Christmas web page for you to view. It has music on it, so turn your speakers on or off, whichever you prefer as you view it.
http://www.12stepforums.net/christmas/index.html
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John
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2
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335
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I'm sad to say I'm back :(
(Preview)
I doubt you all remember me but I'll introduce myself again. I'm the mother to three children ages 6,5,5. My husband is our alcoholic. He went off the deep end about six months ago and almost died and decided to turn his life around. He went to church, got saved, moved home and things were great. Now........
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Friendofyours
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8
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525
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Grateful - this really works....
(Preview)
(((Hi Everyone)))
I wanted to let any newcomers know that this program really does work.
I came to this board this year in April. So shattered, so heartbroken, so obsessed. All I could think about was what my alcoholic husband was doing and when he would stop drinking. ...
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hersh
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2
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307
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