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dealing with marty
(Preview)
this is the hard one is dealing with my self,trying to make other love me and i have no luck at it,i know i need to love my self before i can love other how do you love your self and selfesteem and self worth all come in to play do you think i be better off going to f2f meeting than on line do we have on line sponcer s...
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marty
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6
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431
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Am I losing it??!
(Preview)
Other post called 'He won't leave me alone' has the background details to this: I'm going out of my mind right now -I called the police on my ex and they didn't believe me and called me paranoid. My ex has been saying he wants a relationship with me still and said he had stopped and...
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mama_nz
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9
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480
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Al-Anon Wiggle
(Preview)
Okay, I tried to get this to work properly on the message board and it just rawled my nerves, so I'm going to provide a link to it, which is on our site... Turn your speakers on and enjoy my table dance for you fine folks. John (aka OP_Present) http://www.12stepforums.net/misc/babydance.html
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John
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5
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545
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Small update
(Preview)
Although I'm here almost everyday reading the post, responding to some, I haven't posted in a while and thought I should update you a bit. I am doing great, I can't tell people enough how much my counseling I had to go through and my posting here, reading here, and focusing on me has helped....
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marmare
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3
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323
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Escaping Addiction
(Preview)
I watched a Dr Phil special last night called 'Escaping Addiction' about an alcoholic husband & wife who had 3 kids, one of whom has to be on a ventilator due to muscular disability. I was shocked and disgusted by the sheer lack of consideration for their children, and selfishness. The...
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mama_nz
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3
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363
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ENCOURAGEMENT NEEDED FOR NEW MEMBERS
(Preview)
((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))) I love the atmosphere in the chatroom, I love the way everyone is like a big family. It has been a lifesaver for me, and loads of other members. Over the last few weeks I have noticed we are receiving a lot of new members. Which is brilliant. But one thing has been bothering...
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ally
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7
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590
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Detachment Examples?
(Preview)
Since we seem to have a lot of new members I thought some ideas about detachment might be helpful.
One of the most difficult things for me to comprehend when I came to Alanon was detachment. Detachment is not just not speaking to the A about what they do or ignoring them.. It is more to do with getting i...
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Christy
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11
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4174
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i am pleasantly surprised......i feel good today
(Preview)
i am pleasantly surprised. i feel good today. physically, i think i may have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get checked from the impact of hitting the deer.[ something doesn't feel right in my back and neck.....ouch] but, emotionally, i am well. clear headed and greatful. thanks to all of you who...
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jewely
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2
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262
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Can I just talk. New here.
(Preview)
Ive been reading your site since December. I lost the last person I loved to Alcohol ,my sister, my nephew was murdered one month before, this all happened this winter. Im not here as someone who is living with an A, she is gone now to be with God. Im criticly ill with progressive Brain illness and spinal i...
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my sister
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11
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639
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Is the food in the county jail really that good?
(Preview)
Hi all, This has been an extremely long week for me. There are so many changes at work do to the feds changing how we do business at my work. I work for an agency that has contracts with DSHS (Department of Social and Health Services) and to help TANF (Temporary Assistacne to Needy Families) participants...
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Dolphin123
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8
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552
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Cheering an ending and a beginning
(Preview)
This morning I picked my Awife up from the rehab center and put her on the plane for Florida, and her recovery community.
I cannot describe the joy I felt driving home. No more worrying about her relapsing, no more fear of how badly my kids are being neglected, no more lies, no more fighting no more HER....
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wbfox58
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5
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520
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is it possible to ever get the love back again?
(Preview)
As you all know, my A left me 7 months ago and is proceeding with a divorce. I do not want this, but there is nothing I can do about it. I just have one question. I have been reading about people who have stopped loving their spouse, and I'm wondering if you can ever get that love back once it is gone? Y...
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snoopy
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6
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469
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not doing SOMETHING right
(Preview)
(sigh) My AH is a binge drinker, and this week, I figured that it was about that time again. I was right. He makes it look like its all business-related and "necessary"....it's such a challenge to watch the denial....and stay in my happy place. I was proud that I had gotten myself to t...
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DeeDee
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7
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420
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Plan B
(Preview)
Someone asked in another post "what is this Plan B I keep hearing about?" and I thought that might be a good thing to talk about. For me, my Plan B's were always pretty low key and practical - if he doesn't show up to give me a ride to the dentist's office, how will I get there? - that...
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lin0606
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4
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608
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update and miss you guys
(Preview)
dearest family, first I will get this off my chest, that and the hay that went down there when I fed the horses... gads I want to volunteer here very badly, but for some reason I am being forgotten. Done my best to give it to hp, I know I cannot control anyone but me. I love the powers that be ,here. It is not ju...
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debilyn
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6
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464
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Give me Courage God!
(Preview)
I called this morning and found two face to face AL-Anon meetings not to far from me and in the daytime. I live in a huge crime filled city in Florida and I am scared to drive around here at night and I can't depend on my AH to drive me to them for many reasons. Anyway, if I'm going to do this, I'm g...
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Wilted
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6
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498
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Learning to trust?
(Preview)
I'm new here. I've read many posts, but finally today, I decided to register. I've been realizing I need help, but mostly too angry to get it. This past Christmas, I broke off an engagement with my A. He is also the father of my 4-year-old daughter. The first couple of weeks were unbea...
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HowToSaveALife
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11
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555
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How are we suppose to work on us....
(Preview)
How are we suppose to work on us when our situations are not alanon related? I have health issues and family issues way different from others. They seem to not fit into the talk that is normally going on during open chat. What is the proper way to start up the conversation that is unrelated to the alcoholi...
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Serenity
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7
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499
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Life kinda sucks right now
(Preview)
I haven't been able to post or check in because my A is not working and sits at the computer all day. Things have not been going well. Our car needs work that isn't even going to start untill monday. It will be expensive and take at least another week. My husband drives the thing for a living, so he...
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RainyJamie
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7
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2013
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Breaking it Off
(Preview)
Hi Group~
I'm so upset right now. After 2 years, I broke things off with my A. He's been spiraling and I finally had to put an end to this after getting an email at 4:15 yesterday morning telling me he was breaking up with me and he was depressed and suicidal. He text-messaged me to re...
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SerenityGirl
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5
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366
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i know now why i hit the deer.......
(Preview)
i know now why i hit the deer........., i am not blaming anyone, but, upon reflection, i can see that i was exhausted that night. canadian guy mentioned in one of his posts about keeping things bottled up, i do that. i come from a family where you ''don't tell, don't say anything ,and m...
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jewely
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7
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584
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when your husband sleeps with the town whore
(Preview)
Eureka!!! I think I may have finally hit rock bottom. Yipee Kai ee MF. Thank you God!!! I have been waiting for this day for 7 months and even tho it is so painful that I wanted to die, I now realize that my AH is nothing more than a narcissistic, selfish, self centered, son of a bitch. Whew!! That felt rea...
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snoopy
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8
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4067
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It's a beautiful day in SA
(Preview)
As always, I am thinking about friends here on MIP, and I wish all of you a beautiful day today. Now, got to get back to planting my new rose bushes. Roses are such joyous flowers. They have given me pleasure all of my life. Got a Queen Elizabeth and two climbing Peace. Love to all, ..· ´¨...
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Diva
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7
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533
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He'll be dead within a few months. I've seen it before.
(Preview)
My ah's face is red and swollen. So it's only a matter of time. This is what happend to my best friend a few months before she passed away. :( There is nothing I can do from over here. It's so hard to sit and wait for someone to die. There is no other end to this story then his death. He will not come...
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Friendofyours
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7
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577
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help
(Preview)
I need a meeting. I have a three year old and no childcare, so I am at home. She is bouncing off the walls and I am in pain. Her dad is locked up. Has been there since July. It isn't the first time. I have wasted thousands of dollars on an attorney. Pay for collect calls that I can hardly afford and a...
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Leetle
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9
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585
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Hubby's journey..
(Preview)
I spent a whole lot of time complaining about my A so now that his first year of sobriety is approaching I think he deserves some Kudos. Firstly, making it for a year is huge. That in itself makes me beam with pride. That good looking sober guy is my husband! *beams* He's accomplished so much this year, mor...
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Christy
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18
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606
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After five months of rehab now what will happen?
(Preview)
Hello all My partner will be coming home after five months of rehab and I have no idea how things will be for us. I have so many questions and don't know where to begin. Does anyone have any advice to offer please? We have known each other 17 years but only been trying to have a relationship for two ye...
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Marianne
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9
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587
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Kindness (a poem I am reminded of by my contact here)
(Preview)
I was given a copy of this by a dear friend and felt so reminded of these words by my contact on this site. Thank you all for your kindness. Kindness Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, wh...
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Marianne
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1
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354
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wild geese
(Preview)
Here is a poem I just responded to a post with , and as I typed it, I felt I wanted to send it everyone.Not sure if it will align properly as I type it, but here goes. Wild Geese by Mary Oliver You do not have to be good...You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting...
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Fifi
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3
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375
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Went on a date with an A in AA
(Preview)
I posted about being asked to dinner by an A...and thanks to all for wonderful insight. I did have dinner with him last night. I kept my program close in my pocket. He brought his to dinner as well. We had a perfectly lovely evening, talking, comparing parenting notes, movies, etc. He talked at length...
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kicky
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2
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463
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Why do alcoholics keep choosing same kind of people?
(Preview)
I am the mother of a recoverying drugaddict/alcoholic who keeps choosing the same kind of boyfriends. She is involved in AA and is getting counseling and trying so hard to change. Yet, she keeps choosing to date the same kind of guys that hurt her and were very bad for her. Sure some say her "picker...
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Serenity
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7
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801
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Anyone ever date an A who is working a program?
(Preview)
First and foremost, my A and I split up 4 months ago after 7 years and the decision he made NOT to go to rehab. So the other day I was shopping at Target with my kids, and I ran into this guy I knew from my 20's (20 years ago)....funny and cool, and then on the party scene in our city. He was at Target with his 2...
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kicky
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9
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567
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Crack??? what are the signs??
(Preview)
(((Everyone)))
Recently my A has thrown the word "crack" into conversation in a joking manner. It's happened serveral times over the past couple of months, and each time I thought how weird. So I resolved to ask him about it the next time it came up. Well he called last night -- which for the past 4 mo...
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Lunamoth
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13
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565
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Will I ever feel ready to move on?
(Preview)
This is the question that has been lingering lately. When I first started out on this journey of aloneness I was DESPERATE to find someone ANYONE to fill that void of lonliness!!! Still now almost six months later I still feel guilty when I think about seeing other people. #1 I guess I'm not totally done...
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carolinagirl
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6
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581
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20/20
(Preview)
Last night I watched 20/20. It was about the poorest town in America, Camden NJ. The show featured several families of children, their hopes, their dreams, their differences.
One little guy tugged at my heartstrings, a 4 yr. old named Ivan. Homeless, with his Mother and little brother, he looked f...
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Christy
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4
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442
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Staying Peaceful and Serene
(Preview)
(((Hello MIP Friends))) As I posted earlier this week my AH has been home all week with the kids because there has been no work with his company. He works on contract stuff now and its really dried up. So he's been doing as much as he can with them, trying to keep them busy, but still feeling depresse...
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twinmom2
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4
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596
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He won't leave me alone
(Preview)
My ex (A) keeps calling me and asking me what the state of affairs is in our 'relationship' (we have been separated a year now). Just before New Years Eve he said he wanted to stop drinking. He said that last New Years Eve, it never happened. Nothing has changed, only the story is getting a li...
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mama_nz
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11
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522
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What choices can YOU make today that will help YOU feel serene?
(Preview)
As it is morning for me I think I will start by reading the daily reader C2C. Give myself enough time to get ready for work, so I am not in the harried rush that I usually am. As in every employment there are those who are miserable and not pleasant to be around, always negative etc. So today I will not get enme...
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gardengal
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4
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411
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He's breaking my childrens hearts
(Preview)
Ah has been gone for three months and has only seen his children once. He even had to leave Christmas because he was sick and he had the shakes. My poor babies do not deserve this. Weekend after weekend he lets them down. They are 6,5,5. I am so sick of seeing the disappointments on their faces. I have ran ou...
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Friendofyours
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7
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588
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LEARNING TO LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))))))))) I have been struggling lately in my life. Things have been getting to me, emotions have been on overdrive. A big question I ask myself all the time is, "What is Love", I am unsure of the answer to this. I Love my family unconditionally, that...
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ally
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3
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610
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Honey I'm Home!!
(Preview)
ok - well i've been at home - today i'm back at work, so then i'm back at mip. glad to be here - surgery went well & recovery is going fine - still limited to use of 1 hand so - typing is slowwww & time consuming -but only 2 more wks then i should be able to use the other arm. wow - i've b...
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Rita G
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10
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517
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Today was great
(Preview)
I hope I am not jinxing myself, but I had a great day today!! As you all know, my AW is my qualifier Anyway, My AW, my 3 daughters were all together with me. Today has been fantastic, no drama, no resentment, no mood swings, nothing but love. I did not obsess or overthink anything today. Marriage Counselin...
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Cucamonga
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3
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305
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MaggiG state
(Preview)
Hello Family, I have been greiving....... and in doing so I find the good , the bad and the ugly. I do not often post, I guess it is because I can at any time go to a meeting attend an onlie meeting or just chose to sit quietly and maintain a little space for my HP to chat . The weather here had been very un...
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MaggiG
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5
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345
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HOW DO I STOP IT HURTING ME
(Preview)
((((((((((((roomies))))))))))))))))))) I don't know whats happening to me this week but their is a new side to Ally showing in here. The real Lynn is showing through. Ally is fun, etc. Lynn is struggling big time in her life right now. I have a situation in my life that has been going on for a few mon...
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ally
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11
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619
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my dilemma
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My exA is very mad at me. His sister just let it slip to him that she knows hes drinking again. Admittidly, I did tell her......well, she asked me...and I couldn't lie to her. All the signs were there and she is not stupid. (She didn't say I told her) He was sober for a short time last ye...
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annmarie
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7
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343
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New here
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to this site and want to give some background...I am 45 years old and married, I have no children (thank God) and a 12 pound, spoiled rotten pomeranian. My husband has a drinking problem. We have been married for a little over five years. He is an independant sales representative, mea...
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Elli
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9
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494
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AH went to a meeting
(Preview)
Still can't believe it but my AH has been attending AA meeting for the last week. Never thought he would ever admit he had a problem because he is highly fuctional and his drinking only really affected myself and my daughter. Kind of figured he would give us up rather than give up drinking. Fe...
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Elizabeth M
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5
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501
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Oldie but goody..... The egg story
(Preview)
Hi all... there seems to be a lot of newcomers lately, so I thought I would re-post my favourite joke about "trying to make an alcoholic happy", and how it is an exercise in futility. Enjoy! One morning, the nice wife wakes up early to make her alcoholic hubby breakfast, and makes him two egg...
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canadianguy
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7
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593
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Australia Day
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, Just wanted to wish any other Aussies like myself Happy Australia Day and for anyone else you can celebrate with us. Have a good one. Luv Leo xxx
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leo
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8
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561
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what the H_LL is going on here?
(Preview)
wow, it is just one thing after another lately. if i was superestitious........, i would think the grim reeper is out to get me. this summer i experienced a fire. i was sitting in my camper van, all packed up and ready to go, when i saw flames, i jumped from my vehicle ,the impact of the explosion pushed me a...
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jewely
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7
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619
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good
(Preview)
Yesterday my boss was talking to my mom and she told my mom how good I am doing. She is very happy with me. Speical the way I handled the whole situation and still came to work. I am so happy right now. Life is going good. I am doing good all around. Home with my husband, my job. So life is going good. This is beca...
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nycbt
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4
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366
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OH WOW!!!!!!!!!! A lucky escape!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((Alanuts))))))))))))))) Oh WOW!!! I just found out I had a really lucky escape. I met with some friends yesterday,who knew I was seeing Mr New Guy on his return from Belgium. They were really interested to know how things had gone,since they were so excited that I had finally plunge...
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chris52
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7
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460
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Another day, another 6 pack
(Preview)
I am a bit frustrated today. My A went over to do some yard work that needed to get done...he comes back and whines about wanting a beer. How good a beer would sound right now. I wish I had a few bucks. on and on...so I finally went out while I was running my errands and picked him up one. Of coarse he is "so grate...
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smpoli
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6
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476
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Big Thank You!
(Preview)
((((((Everyone)))))) Thanks to everyone who replied to me on the post and PM's about my frail constitution to say no and be ok with it. The answer is no, I don't agree that she has to come home to seek help. I did many of the suggestions, walk throughs, lists and what it boils down to is this. Th...
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rtexas
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6
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518
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Hills and Valleys
(Preview)
Hey (((((Friends,)))))Live has been full of hills and valleys these days...sometimes I get so tired of climbing them and other times I am as happy to be in the valley for awhile...enjoying lifeJob is going very well, kids well.....another story...they just don't give me the respect they gave t...
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Andrea12
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4
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544
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One year in Alanon, and some firsts...
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))
Is there something magical about your one year aniversary in the program? Yesterday marked 1 year to the day. So what all happened yesterday?
- Chaired my first F2F meeting. Not by choice, everyone else who showed up on that rainy miserable day was either new to the group...
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rtexas
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14
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579
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New here...my story
(Preview)
First of all I would like to say that I am so happy to have found this place. I have been reading the posts and doing a lot of research on alcoholism. Here is my story.... I met my husband when I was 12 or 13. Started our relationship when I was 15 and got married at 20. He treated me like a godess since day 1. We di...
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jackie
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7
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484
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Why does HE have such an affect on ME??
(Preview)
Why does HIS drinking make ME sad? Why is it when HE decides to drink MY day is ruined? Why am I upset by HIS choice? How can HIS decision have such a negative affect on ME? It is because I love HIM. HIM and my children are MY life. I love him so much that it hurts. I know how good we can be together and how good he ca...
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jackie
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7
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474
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when our little boy died
(Preview)
this is not easy for me to share.........., when our little boy died at eleven years of age, some fervent well meaning religous people told me, ''it was because of your husbands sin that god took your child away.'' i will never forgot how those words went straight to my heart. i alm...
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jewely
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14
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655
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Hi, I am NEW here...
(Preview)
Hello, I am married to a functioning alcoholic and I am about to go crazy, so I decided it's finally time to get some help. I met my husband when I was 16 and he was 21 and we married 3 years later and have now been married for over 4 years. I always knew he liked to drink beer, but I didn't realize there...
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gail16
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10
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454
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