Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ginnyc · ginnyc

Hello question for everyone. I am fairly new to practicing the alanon program. My story is adult child of a alcoholic, very abusive, all that goes with it. I am a adult now. Rather get into all the details basically I have been looking for recovery all my life and alanon is truly the way for me. I have adult...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today the folks in the next department had a b'day party for one of their coworkers. I've only been at the company a very short time but this gal has gotten pretty friendly with me. She was friendly with the gal who filled my job before me and tried to help her with my nutty supervisor. If you've been follow...

lookingup · lookingup

The CTC reading For July 7 speaks about how conflicts can surface in every interaction because there is a possibility of confrontation. The reading goes on to say that prior to program we thought it was important to assign blame over issues. This attitude can instill anger and make us defensi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

While search the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses...we have discussed these before and I thought it might be helpful to have them all in one place! That's interesting. Let me think about that. Thank you for the information. Thank you for supporting...

andromeda · andromeda

SO, my bf decided to tell his kids about us breaking up tonight. They are in Portland staying downtown and he had planned a fun night of watching fireworks and hanging out downtown. It sounded fun. Instead he texted me earlier and told me, "Not sure how to tel the girls." I told him I'm sorry and that I...

JerryF · JerryF

I have a strong memory character and much rather have that triggered gently than to find myself in the middle of the sights and sounds and smells and emotions of when I first learned how to inventory the what the when the where and who what was my part in it. I don't have much of a defense against relivin...

Freetime · Freetime

When we come into Al-Anon, we may feel that life has been treating us unfairly and that we deserve better because of what we have been through. This page in Courage to Change suggests that Instead of being angry about what life has given us, it might be better for us to ask what we can give. By reaching out t...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hello MIP family! I hope everyone who celebrates, had an amazing holiday! I have been sitting with some feelings of resentment, and something just triggered them again. My sponsor told me to write about it, so that I could "release it." So I thought I would write here... I may not be able to release thes...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses detachment. Detachment is suggested as the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. This freedom allows us to keep our own identity and still love, care about and identify with the feelings of others. The writer suggests that our degree of huma...

JerryF · JerryF

This text emoticon is/was real for me yesterday as We went on the hunt for my youngest son's elderly, deaf, lame pet Beagle named "Poke". My son asked if I could care for her while he and my daughter in law and granddaughters were in Guatemala doing mission work for/with their church. Poke is a jungle d...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I know for some this may be a challenge, but using program tools, we ALL CAN have a great 4th by remembering and practicing the slogan "keep the focus on us" My brother is back on shore, missing, undoubtedly drinking, but you know what?? I will lift him in prayer, do my thing..Today I will play basketball...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hello everyone, It's been a while since I've posted on this forum. But I've come back to try to find some positive words. I'm extremely depressed, my AH boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. The 1st 2 years of our relationship was a complete sham I found out a few weeks into the relationship he was a b...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I have a problem. Rentals around here are getting expensive. While I make decent money, I don't make that much. Turns out, a lot of places want me to make 3x the rent in salary and that's proving to be hard on one income. I want to get out of here by next Saturday. I just keep praying that I find a way o...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! To those who celebrate American Independence, Happy 4th! I've forgotten my C2C at work, so today's reading is from Today's Hope. The author reflects on step eight and stresses that step 8 is not meant to punish us, but rather to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord. The author share...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

I just noticed yesterday (because I am not focusing on my AH) that he isn't wearing his wedding ring band. I asked him and he told me that he lost it working almost 6 months ago and was surprised that I just now noticed. I think i was more upset that he didn't bother to tell me when it first happened. Not so muc...

RLC · RLC

It's the first thing I heard the first night I walked into the rooms of Al-Anon. At the time I didn't have a clue. My focus was all on the alcoholic in my life. The thought of it seemed selfish at the time because I felt it was my responsibily to take care of others, always putting my needs on the back burne...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Our Alanon topics for the morning meeting are Choices and Serenity. TT

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for July3 speaks about the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones. The reading points out that the real differences in how we use them. It is a comforting thought that nobody can put stumbling blocks in our way simply because we are learning how to use them to step...

jamom · jamom

hi everyone, i'm new here but have been dealing with an AH for years now. We have 2 young kids who are in therapy and AH has just returned from his second treatment centre. we've been to 3 marriage counselors and he maintains that he owes me nothing in terms of building trust back or treating me with respe...

ling · ling

AH thinks it's not his fault it's a compulsion and he can't stop. Hes in bed drinking vodka as if there's not going to be a tomorrow. He's says hes not trying to hurt me or him. He doesn't says he cant stop its too difficult. He wont or cant stop? Which is it? A merry go round. He says he cant stop it's a compulsi...

BBDoll · BBDoll

Hello, I am a new member here at this message board. My name is BBDoll and my husband (Scott - not his real name) is an alcoholic. He is currently in rehab for the disease. Today is the 25th day and he is planned to be there for 90 days. I have yet to go to an Al-Anon meeting, but I do have plans to start on Tuesday...

sakina · sakina

It's hard not to take it personal. My AH said some things today that really hurt. The overall message was I'm the reason he uses, he would be clean except for me. I caused his relapse. He told his counselor and she agrees. And my program Al Anon/Nar Anon isn't working for me because AH doesn't see me changi...

andromeda · andromeda

Yesterday my bf caught me in a lie. I told him I was out shopping but I was really at a restaurant having a glass of wine, journaling, and eating a bowl of soup ALONE. I had been pulling away from the relationship all week because I was hurt by a condescending remark he made to me earlier in the week. I had l...

Lyne · Lyne

Changing self-destructive behavior: The writer discusses the way Alanon helps us to identify and change self-destructive behavior, by learning to pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. He recognized that procrastinating was a bad habit which caused him anxiety, and by doing things rig...

mamalioness · mamalioness

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- i apologize that I am without my Hope for Today book, so I am writing about the last paragraph from Just for Today: Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. for...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Distressing situation.....like talking on the phone with your qualifier who is under the influence! Obviously, ending the call is an option. But what I am asking for is help when I do want to talk. I find I can do great when the conversation is in a text. I can stay calm and in control, I can pause before...

lgnutah · lgnutah

We all have to decide what is enabling, what is helping, what matters most to us and how to restore our serenity. I put an Uber app with my credit card # on my qualifiers phone. I pay the bill, no questions asked. I might be saving my qualifiers life, the life of some innocent person, but bottom line it give...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading June 30 Speaks about spirituality and explains that prayer is for us, not for God as God knows what is going on with us The reading suggests that when we pray, we think" I'm going to be helped". The meaning behind our prayers comes from our hearts and not our words The reading points out t...

Lyne · Lyne

I'm really having a struggle and I guess I have slid back a bit. I'm holding onto anger and disappointment towards my A since Monday. I know better and have the tools, but I can't always cope as well as I can or should or could. In our therapy with an addiction counselor we discussed exactly what would h...

Overcome · Overcome

June 30, 2018SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM (starting late today)Topics: Compassion and being stuck in our program.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat clien...

RachelsMom · RachelsMom

Is Al-Anon something that would help me? My daughter is 28 and is homeless. I mean, no friends, no change of clothes, no money, begging for the necessities manipulating people homeless. It KILLS me but is nothing new as she has never had a job for long, jobs are not legit, has a criminal record in 3 states...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I haven't been on here for a long time. I guess it is because most everything is the same as it was the last time I posted.The one exception is that my marriage is improving. I guess we have both been mellowing out as my husband says. He is definitely an alcoholic so he is my qualifier. I know there are people...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The funny thing about natural consequences is I don't have to dictate how this will roll out. Boy is feeling the discomfort of his choices which pretty much sucks to be him at the moment. He burned his nose on the inside from all of the vomiting so he had that smell stay with him .. he also came to the real...

JerryF · JerryF

I had an opportunity to remember tools in my program which really helps still and for which I feel deep gratitude. The one I remembered and reused this afternoon was "What was your part in it"? The first time I was given that it ticked me off because it diffused the blame I was using and then brought it...

Freetime · Freetime

Working on Step 4, the writer was frustrated about being asked to recognize their own positive qualities. Positive qualities had not made their life unmanageable, so why bother with them? A sponsor helped the writer see that refusing to look at positive qualities is damaging to self-esteem; it all...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for tomorrow in Courage to Change discusses how we learn in Al-Anon that our well-being cannot depend upon whether or not an alcoholic drinks or gets sober. The alcoholic's behavior is not a reflection of us, it's a reflection of their disease. What is a reflection of us is our own behavio...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hi everyone!!! Its been a while, with house cleaning, deep cleaning, painting, fixing up, vintage furniture finds to make my place look more like what I want.... AND its been hectic in the work place....I have been doing a LOT of steps 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 with my higher power...yes, I said Higher power...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about sponsorship. The author shares that when they were first asked to sponsor someone, they were not sure they had anything to give. But then, they remembered that sponsoring isn't about saving anyone else, it is about being a helper, showing through action...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a while. The question I want to ask is not about an alcoholic though I know now that I'm coming at it from someone who has been affected by the disease and actually so has the other person been more than likely. Also, as some of you will know the al...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 7 has been posted to the Step Work Board The link is below Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts . Here is link to the...

Connection · Connection

I would like to hear from others who are or were married to an alcoholic. What did you find the most challenging? What helped you decide to stay or go?

mamalioness · mamalioness

the 12 step prayer book goes into expectations often times I would have unrealistic expectations and end up disappointed and bitter now I ask me. Is this expectation realistic?? Doable under my capabilities?? If it is reasonable, my HP will give me the power and resources to do it the serenity pray...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 26 refers to the spiritual awakening which is discussed in step 12. This spiritual awakening is a realization that we are not alone and helpless. We have accepted and learned certain truths that we are now able to carry to others. The reading suggests that we keep ourselves o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

UGH ... so I am going into work late today as my youngest is drunk as a skunk and stinks just as bad ... thankfully the puking is left at his friends house and not mine. His friend is more than welcome to come here ... we will be having a discussion with both boys about boundaries, drinking and drugs .. they a...

JerryF · JerryF

Been trying to get on the board for a week and so but have been told my time here has expired and I need to reregister but no allowed to reregister. Guess I will stand out in the hallway and just listen and pray. I've done that before also. I am not computer perfect...Bleah!!

joker · joker

After a lot of agonizing thinking I have decided to sell the house that my ex-alcoholic Bf and I own. He has moved 14 hours away to start a new life and I am here still at the house. I thought of everything and I am done with him and the house and I am ready to move forward with my life. I told him of my decision and...

WestMan · WestMan

I haven't posted on here for some time. For one thing just too busy with kids out of school new job, and trying to sell the house and moving. This seems to be a really low point among those points for me. I don't know if it's just been too much stress or what. But I find myself just being so thin-skinned and raw...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I thought if I separated myself from the alcoholics and drug addicts in my life, my "issues" would be in the past...I didn't realize that there was more to this disease then the yea, I dont' have to call in sick and make up excuses for a hung over ExAH, and no more cleaning up messy bathrooms because he dra...

Jayla · Jayla

If so, how do I send a private message to ask? I am on a mobile device but could get on a computer if that is required. P.S. Iâm not asking my local group bc the people currently running it have not done the steps and they ran off all of the experienced leaders with their gossip and backstabbing. So the local g...

JerryF · JerryF

I wondered if that would work....LOL

Lyne · Lyne

Character Defects: The writer speaks of becoming entirely ready for God to remove her defects of character, Step 6. She talks about the hours of wasted time focusing on self-pity. She could not grow or move forward stuck in this thinking. She says her HP removes her defects by helping her see them...

a4l · a4l

Today I am grateful for an able body and able mind. I am grateful for the coffee in my hand and the solid as a boulder coffee machine I insisted on bringing here lol. I am truly grateful for my sobriety. It's not always easy but I can say at the least I'm facing life honestly. Honesty might not count for m...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on the part of tradition five that states: ...encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives. The writer and I reacted the same way when hearing this for the first time-why would I be spending my time trying to help an alcoholic? For me this r...

exiled · exiled

Like everyone, I have a long story, but I'll try to stick to what is immediately relevant. Separated from my husband 10 months ago, and came back a week ago for a "trial", a chance to practice and see if all that he has said over the last 10 months about changing is true. He is a very successful, functional...

hotrod · hotrod

he C2C reading June 23 speaks about the Al-Anon principle of learning to be honest with ourselves. The reading suggests that we do this to cultivate our spiritual growth . The reading also suggests that such honesty allows us to really look at ourselves, share these discoveries with other...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am learning that nothing changes if nothing changes the hard way. AH was sober for maybe a week... we went to our second marriage counseling today and he was definitely intoxicated. Of course I am hurt and disappointed. I tried to express my hurt in a calm way, but there is no calm way to communicate...

Freetime · Freetime

This page talks about blaming others for our feelings, and how the words we use are important. Talking about our feelings in a healthier way, we can express ourselves without blaming. When we can do this, we are no longer a victim. Quote: "We learn in time that it is not subjects which are controversial...

Jan2018 · Jan2018

Now I know what a trigger is. For me: an ambulance with sirens and lights flashing stopped 4-way traffic so it could make it through the intersection. And I wondered: who was inside? Whose life was hanging in the balance; who may be clinging to life; what mother (father) would be given a jolt to their...

kakr444 · kakr444

My husband has been "sober" for 12 weeks after an in-patient rehab stay. We have a vacation home that has open bottles of liquor and he was adamant about leaving it there for other people (his counselor said it was up to him). However, I have twice seen the alcohol level decreasing in the bottle and of cou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	detachment (Preview) Hello question for everyone. I am fairly new to practicing the alanon program. My story is adult child of a alcoholic, very abusive, all that goes with it. I am a adult now. Rather get into all the details basically I have been looking for recovery all my life and alanon is truly the way for me. I have adult...	ginnyc	14	817	Jul 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	The Program is Paying Off at Work (closed) (Preview) Today the folks in the next department had a b'day party for one of their coworkers. I've only been at the company a very short time but this gal has gotten pretty friendly with me. She was friendly with the gal who filled my job before me and tried to help her with my nutty supervisor. If you've been follow...	tiredtonite	19	675	Jul 7, 2018 by tiredtonite
	CTC July 7 (Preview) The CTC reading For July 7 speaks about how conflicts can surface in every interaction because there is a possibility of confrontation. The reading goes on to say that prior to program we thought it was important to assign blame over issues. This attitude can instill anger and make us defensi...	lookingup	3	480	Jul 7, 2018 by Lyne
	FYI - Might Be Helpful.....Neutral Responses for Detaching (Preview) While search the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses...we have discussed these before and I thought it might be helpful to have them all in one place! That's interesting. Let me think about that. Thank you for the information. Thank you for supporting...	Iamhere	8	3912	Jul 7, 2018 by Iamhere
	OMG....he told the kids tonight??? WTF (Preview) SO, my bf decided to tell his kids about us breaking up tonight. They are in Portland staying downtown and he had planned a fun night of watching fireworks and hanging out downtown. It sounded fun. Instead he texted me earlier and told me, "Not sure how to tel the girls." I told him I'm sorry and that I...	andromeda	18	846	Jul 6, 2018 by andromeda
	Now look what you all have done!! Grateful (Preview) I have a strong memory character and much rather have that triggered gently than to find myself in the middle of the sights and sounds and smells and emotions of when I first learned how to inventory the what the when the where and who what was my part in it. I don't have much of a defense against relivin...	JerryF	8	729	Jul 6, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C 7/6 (Preview) When we come into Al-Anon, we may feel that life has been treating us unfairly and that we deserve better because of what we have been through. This page in Courage to Change suggests that Instead of being angry about what life has given us, it might be better for us to ask what we can give. By reaching out t...	Freetime	5	587	Jul 6, 2018 by hotrod
	New Resentments (Preview) Hello MIP family! I hope everyone who celebrates, had an amazing holiday! I have been sitting with some feelings of resentment, and something just triggered them again. My sponsor told me to write about it, so that I could "release it." So I thought I would write here... I may not be able to release thes...	PosiesandPuppies	5	648	Jul 6, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/5/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses detachment. Detachment is suggested as the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. This freedom allows us to keep our own identity and still love, care about and identify with the feelings of others. The writer suggests that our degree of huma...	Iamhere	3	540	Jul 5, 2018 by Pol
	HP and I on the hunt. (Preview) This text emoticon is/was real for me yesterday as We went on the hunt for my youngest son's elderly, deaf, lame pet Beagle named "Poke". My son asked if I could care for her while he and my daughter in law and granddaughters were in Guatemala doing mission work for/with their church. Poke is a jungle d...	JerryF	10	523	Jul 5, 2018 by mamalioness
	HAPPY 4th of JULY (Preview) I know for some this may be a challenge, but using program tools, we ALL CAN have a great 4th by remembering and practicing the slogan "keep the focus on us" My brother is back on shore, missing, undoubtedly drinking, but you know what?? I will lift him in prayer, do my thing..Today I will play basketball...	mamalioness	3	443	Jul 4, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The Ending Has Come (Preview) Hello everyone, It's been a while since I've posted on this forum. But I've come back to try to find some positive words. I'm extremely depressed, my AH boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. The 1st 2 years of our relationship was a complete sham I found out a few weeks into the relationship he was a b...	starcatcher2	20	685	Jul 4, 2018 by starcatcher2
	Please Pray: rental I want and God's will (Preview) So, I have a problem. Rentals around here are getting expensive. While I make decent money, I don't make that much. Turns out, a lot of places want me to make 3x the rent in salary and that's proving to be hard on one income. I want to get out of here by next Saturday. I just keep praying that I find a way o...	andromeda	19	649	Jul 4, 2018 by mamalioness
	Today's Hope July 4 (Preview) Hello MIP! To those who celebrate American Independence, Happy 4th! I've forgotten my C2C at work, so today's reading is from Today's Hope. The author reflects on step eight and stresses that step 8 is not meant to punish us, but rather to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord. The author share...	Skorpi	4	481	Jul 4, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	How important is a Ring? (Preview) I just noticed yesterday (because I am not focusing on my AH) that he isn't wearing his wedding ring band. I asked him and he told me that he lost it working almost 6 months ago and was surprised that I just now noticed. I think i was more upset that he didn't bother to tell me when it first happened. Not so muc...	Godsdaughter	7	500	Jul 4, 2018 by Iamhere
	Always Take Care Of Yourself First !! (Preview) It's the first thing I heard the first night I walked into the rooms of Al-Anon. At the time I didn't have a clue. My focus was all on the alcoholic in my life. The thought of it seemed selfish at the time because I felt it was my responsibily to take care of others, always putting my needs on the back burne...	RLC	14	6004	Jul 4, 2018 by KT2015
	July 4th MIP Morning Alanon Meeting - Please Join Us (Preview) Our Alanon topics for the morning meeting are Choices and Serenity. TT	tiredtonite	0	514	Jul 4, 2018 by tiredtonite
	ODAT READING 7-3 (Preview) The ODA T reading for July3 speaks about the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones. The reading points out that the real differences in how we use them. It is a comforting thought that nobody can put stumbling blocks in our way simply because we are learning how to use them to step...	hotrod	6	488	Jul 3, 2018 by Tude
	new here (Preview) hi everyone, i'm new here but have been dealing with an AH for years now. We have 2 young kids who are in therapy and AH has just returned from his second treatment centre. we've been to 3 marriage counselors and he maintains that he owes me nothing in terms of building trust back or treating me with respe...	jamom	9	519	Jul 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	he's just drunk a bottle of vodka in bed (Preview) AH thinks it's not his fault it's a compulsion and he can't stop. Hes in bed drinking vodka as if there's not going to be a tomorrow. He's says hes not trying to hurt me or him. He doesn't says he cant stop its too difficult. He wont or cant stop? Which is it? A merry go round. He says he cant stop it's a compulsi...	ling	11	623	Jul 3, 2018 by serenity47
	Loneliness While AH Is In Rehab (Preview) Hello, I am a new member here at this message board. My name is BBDoll and my husband (Scott - not his real name) is an alcoholic. He is currently in rehab for the disease. Today is the 25th day and he is planned to be there for 90 days. I have yet to go to an Al-Anon meeting, but I do have plans to start on Tuesday...	BBDoll	5	600	Jul 3, 2018 by canadianguy
	Not taking it personal (Preview) It's hard not to take it personal. My AH said some things today that really hurt. The overall message was I'm the reason he uses, he would be clean except for me. I caused his relapse. He told his counselor and she agrees. And my program Al Anon/Nar Anon isn't working for me because AH doesn't see me changi...	sakina	14	985	Jul 2, 2018 by Bo
	I lied. My relationship is in jeopardy (Preview) Yesterday my bf caught me in a lie. I told him I was out shopping but I was really at a restaurant having a glass of wine, journaling, and eating a bowl of soup ALONE. I had been pulling away from the relationship all week because I was hurt by a condescending remark he made to me earlier in the week. I had l...	andromeda	32	921	Jul 2, 2018 by Mattie
	C2C, 7/2 (Preview) Changing self-destructive behavior: The writer discusses the way Alanon helps us to identify and change self-destructive behavior, by learning to pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. He recognized that procrastinating was a bad habit which caused him anxiety, and by doing things rig...	Lyne	5	447	Jul 2, 2018 by Freetime
	A new look at the Serenity prayer---I've had to pray this (Preview)	mamalioness	6	532	Jul 1, 2018 by Bo
	Hope for Today July 1 (Preview) Good morning everyone- i apologize that I am without my Hope for Today book, so I am writing about the last paragraph from Just for Today: Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. for...	yanksfan51	6	603	Jul 1, 2018 by Tude
	What tools do you use to help yourself keep calm in a distressing situation? (Preview) Distressing situation.....like talking on the phone with your qualifier who is under the influence! Obviously, ending the call is an option. But what I am asking for is help when I do want to talk. I find I can do great when the conversation is in a text. I can stay calm and in control, I can pause before...	lgnutah	7	585	Jul 1, 2018 by sakina
	Ways to help myself, my qualifier and maybe save someone else's life (Preview) We all have to decide what is enabling, what is helping, what matters most to us and how to restore our serenity. I put an Uber app with my credit card # on my qualifiers phone. I pay the bill, no questions asked. I might be saving my qualifiers life, the life of some innocent person, but bottom line it give...	lgnutah	3	3083	Jul 1, 2018 by Conflicted
	CTC June 30 (Preview) The C2C reading June 30 Speaks about spirituality and explains that prayer is for us, not for God as God knows what is going on with us The reading suggests that when we pray, we think" I'm going to be helped". The meaning behind our prayers comes from our hearts and not our words The reading points out t...	lookingup	5	460	Jun 30, 2018 by Pol
	Cant (or won't) let go (Preview) I'm really having a struggle and I guess I have slid back a bit. I'm holding onto anger and disappointment towards my A since Monday. I know better and have the tools, but I can't always cope as well as I can or should or could. In our therapy with an addiction counselor we discussed exactly what would h...	Lyne	11	705	Jun 30, 2018 by Bo
	Starting late this morning.... but we've got a meeting!! (Preview) June 30, 2018SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM (starting late today)Topics: Compassion and being stuck in our program.The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat clien...	Overcome	0	413	Jun 30, 2018 by Overcome
	Problem child ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Is Al-Anon something that would help me? My daughter is 28 and is homeless. I mean, no friends, no change of clothes, no money, begging for the necessities manipulating people homeless. It KILLS me but is nothing new as she has never had a job for long, jobs are not legit, has a criminal record in 3 states...	RachelsMom	67	1746	Jun 30, 2018 by RachelsMom
	it has been awhile (Preview) I haven't been on here for a long time. I guess it is because most everything is the same as it was the last time I posted.The one exception is that my marriage is improving. I guess we have both been mellowing out as my husband says. He is definitely an alcoholic so he is my qualifier. I know there are people...	Hoot Nanny	8	1910	Jun 29, 2018 by wp
	Funny thing about natural consequences .. (Preview) The funny thing about natural consequences is I don't have to dictate how this will roll out. Boy is feeling the discomfort of his choices which pretty much sucks to be him at the moment. He burned his nose on the inside from all of the vomiting so he had that smell stay with him .. he also came to the real...	SerenityRUS	9	596	Jun 29, 2018 by Tude
	Tools (Preview) I had an opportunity to remember tools in my program which really helps still and for which I feel deep gratitude. The one I remembered and reused this afternoon was "What was your part in it"? The first time I was given that it ticked me off because it diffused the blame I was using and then brought it...	JerryF	11	590	Jun 29, 2018 by Jozie
	C2C - 6/29 (Preview) Working on Step 4, the writer was frustrated about being asked to recognize their own positive qualities. Positive qualities had not made their life unmanageable, so why bother with them? A sponsor helped the writer see that refusing to look at positive qualities is damaging to self-esteem; it all...	Freetime	3	460	Jun 29, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 6/28/18 (Preview) The reading for tomorrow in Courage to Change discusses how we learn in Al-Anon that our well-being cannot depend upon whether or not an alcoholic drinks or gets sober. The alcoholic's behavior is not a reflection of us, it's a reflection of their disease. What is a reflection of us is our own behavio...	Iamhere	6	561	Jun 28, 2018 by Iamhere
	can't do life w/out my HP so more changing within (Preview) Hi everyone!!! Its been a while, with house cleaning, deep cleaning, painting, fixing up, vintage furniture finds to make my place look more like what I want.... AND its been hectic in the work place....I have been doing a LOT of steps 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 with my higher power...yes, I said Higher power...	mamalioness	8	610	Jun 28, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change June 27 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about sponsorship. The author shares that when they were first asked to sponsor someone, they were not sure they had anything to give. But then, they remembered that sponsoring isn't about saving anyone else, it is about being a helper, showing through action...	Skorpi	5	526	Jun 28, 2018 by mamalioness
	How to handle resentment towards a friend (Preview) Hi everyone hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a while. The question I want to ask is not about an alcoholic though I know now that I'm coming at it from someone who has been affected by the disease and actually so has the other person been more than likely. Also, as some of you will know the al...	Sorcha	3	603	Jun 27, 2018 by sunmustshine
	Step 7 posted to the Step board (Preview) Step 7 has been posted to the Step Work Board The link is below Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts . Here is link to the...	hotrod	0	457	Jun 27, 2018 by hotrod
	Wanting to hear what it is like for you to be married to an alcoholic (Preview) I would like to hear from others who are or were married to an alcoholic. What did you find the most challenging? What helped you decide to stay or go?	Connection	19	3401	Jun 27, 2018 by JerryF
	The 12 step prayer book Jun 24 (Preview) the 12 step prayer book goes into expectations often times I would have unrealistic expectations and end up disappointed and bitter now I ask me. Is this expectation realistic?? Doable under my capabilities?? If it is reasonable, my HP will give me the power and resources to do it the serenity pray...	mamalioness	2	525	Jun 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	ODAT Reading 6-26-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 26 refers to the spiritual awakening which is discussed in step 12. This spiritual awakening is a realization that we are not alone and helpless. We have accepted and learned certain truths that we are now able to carry to others. The reading suggests that we keep ourselves o...	hotrod	6	493	Jun 26, 2018 by Freetime
	First teenage incident .. (Preview) UGH ... so I am going into work late today as my youngest is drunk as a skunk and stinks just as bad ... thankfully the puking is left at his friends house and not mine. His friend is more than welcome to come here ... we will be having a discussion with both boys about boundaries, drinking and drugs .. they a...	SerenityRUS	10	585	Jun 26, 2018 by Iamhere
	Need a program for the program (Preview) Been trying to get on the board for a week and so but have been told my time here has expired and I need to reregister but no allowed to reregister. Guess I will stand out in the hallway and just listen and pray. I've done that before also. I am not computer perfect...Bleah!!	JerryF	7	568	Jun 26, 2018 by JerryF
	Moving forward (Preview) After a lot of agonizing thinking I have decided to sell the house that my ex-alcoholic Bf and I own. He has moved 14 hours away to start a new life and I am here still at the house. I thought of everything and I am done with him and the house and I am ready to move forward with my life. I told him of my decision and...	joker	4	610	Jun 26, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Stuck in the mire (Preview) I haven't posted on here for some time. For one thing just too busy with kids out of school new job, and trying to sell the house and moving. This seems to be a really low point among those points for me. I don't know if it's just been too much stress or what. But I find myself just being so thin-skinned and raw...	WestMan	19	845	Jun 25, 2018 by WestMan
	It doesn't just magically go away (Preview) I thought if I separated myself from the alcoholics and drug addicts in my life, my "issues" would be in the past...I didn't realize that there was more to this disease then the yea, I dont' have to call in sick and make up excuses for a hung over ExAH, and no more cleaning up messy bathrooms because he dra...	mamalioness	2	522	Jun 25, 2018 by mamalioness
	I can ask for a sponsor from this group right? (Preview) If so, how do I send a private message to ask? I am on a mobile device but could get on a computer if that is required. P.S. Iâm not asking my local group bc the people currently running it have not done the steps and they ran off all of the experienced leaders with their gossip and backstabbing. So the local g...	Jayla	4	543	Jun 25, 2018 by DavidG
	Hah!! (Preview) I wondered if that would work....LOL	JerryF	0	472	Jun 25, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C, 6/25 (Preview) Character Defects: The writer speaks of becoming entirely ready for God to remove her defects of character, Step 6. She talks about the hours of wasted time focusing on self-pity. She could not grow or move forward stuck in this thinking. She says her HP removes her defects by helping her see them...	Lyne	7	516	Jun 25, 2018 by Tude
	Gratitude list. (Preview) Today I am grateful for an able body and able mind. I am grateful for the coffee in my hand and the solid as a boulder coffee machine I insisted on bringing here lol. I am truly grateful for my sobriety. It's not always easy but I can say at the least I'm facing life honestly. Honesty might not count for m...	a4l	10	664	Jun 24, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 24 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone- Todays reading is a focus on the part of tradition five that states: ...encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives. The writer and I reacted the same way when hearing this for the first time-why would I be spending my time trying to help an alcoholic? For me this r...	yanksfan51	7	576	Jun 24, 2018 by Iamhere
	New to Al Anon-help me understand (Preview) Like everyone, I have a long story, but I'll try to stick to what is immediately relevant. Separated from my husband 10 months ago, and came back a week ago for a "trial", a chance to practice and see if all that he has said over the last 10 months about changing is true. He is a very successful, functional...	exiled	9	661	Jun 24, 2018 by Bo
	C2C reading 6-23 (Preview) he C2C reading June 23 speaks about the Al-Anon principle of learning to be honest with ourselves. The reading suggests that we do this to cultivate our spiritual growth . The reading also suggests that such honesty allows us to really look at ourselves, share these discoveries with other...	hotrod	6	605	Jun 23, 2018 by Iamhere
	just when you think you are getting it (Preview) I am learning that nothing changes if nothing changes the hard way. AH was sober for maybe a week... we went to our second marriage counseling today and he was definitely intoxicated. Of course I am hurt and disappointed. I tried to express my hurt in a calm way, but there is no calm way to communicate...	mamakat71	9	2807	Jun 23, 2018 by tiredtonite
	C2C - 6/22 (Preview) This page talks about blaming others for our feelings, and how the words we use are important. Talking about our feelings in a healthier way, we can express ourselves without blaming. When we can do this, we are no longer a victim. Quote: "We learn in time that it is not subjects which are controversial...	Freetime	4	640	Jun 22, 2018 by Iamhere
	Triggered- An ambulance through an intersection (Preview) Now I know what a trigger is. For me: an ambulance with sirens and lights flashing stopped 4-way traffic so it could make it through the intersection. And I wondered: who was inside? Whose life was hanging in the balance; who may be clinging to life; what mother (father) would be given a jolt to their...	Jan2018	3	2547	Jun 22, 2018 by Jan2018
	What to do if pretty sure "sober" husband is drinking (Preview) My husband has been "sober" for 12 weeks after an in-patient rehab stay. We have a vacation home that has open bottles of liquor and he was adamant about leaving it there for other people (his counselor said it was up to him). However, I have twice seen the alcohol level decreasing in the bottle and of cou...	kakr444	8	1190	Jun 21, 2018 by Mattie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.