Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tude · Tude

Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......

stillgoing · stillgoing

dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...

Lyne · Lyne

Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...

JerryF · JerryF

I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...

JerryF · JerryF

tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...

joker · joker

On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

(Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...

NorthernGal88 · NorthernGal88

Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...

joker · joker

I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...

ginnyc · ginnyc

It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...

lookingup · lookingup

Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...

Freetime · Freetime

This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...

Aloha · Aloha

It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...

serenity47 · serenity47

I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...

andromeda · andromeda

After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting.

The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...

ling · ling

AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!

hopefulmom1 · hopefulmom1

Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...

alis · alis

HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...

Bogie18 · Bogie18

Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...

New Member Hello · amsorann

Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...

Lyne · Lyne

Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...

mamalioness · mamalioness

TODAY, I am grateful for: I am living in more faith (in me and HP within) and less fear, thanks to program and step 3 My younger daughters toe is healing and she may not lose the entire nail As far as I know, older daughter is still sober I got another vintage piece of furniture at my favorite thrift shop for...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step 8, when we make a list of people we have harmed and are willing to make amends. The writer shares that at a sponsors suggestion, he/she made this list in column form, with the 3rd column describing the harmful act. As is described, being specif...

lookingup · lookingup

The C2C reading for July 14 speaks about the burden of guilt and how making amends offers-a great release from it. The reading suggests that we often do not like facing the harm that we have done in the past and so, without knowing it.,we carry the goats with us. By having the courage to look at the past, o...

Pol · Pol

A few years ago I decided that I was going to love on with my life and my little family. I stopped contact with my family I grew up with because my parents are alcoholics and in turn my siblings turned into alcoholics(i went the other way and got depression). The damaged that this has caused means everyone...

Freetime · Freetime

Happy Friday the 13th everyone! Some believe this is an unlucky day, but to me it is a lucky day because... well, I only have to live this one day today, and I feel very blessed. In today's ODAAT page, the writer expresses gratitude for being led to Al-Anon and receiving the sharing and comfort of others...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM

JerryF · JerryF

The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...

Want to Bloom · Want to Bloom

So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...

a4l · a4l

I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...

Happymoggy · Happymoggy

Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...

Hesees · Hesees

I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?

sadtimes · sadtimes

Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...

Almosthip · Almosthip

I have been married for 18 years. My husband is a drinker and a cocaine addict. I finally had courage to make him leave 3 weeks ago. He did have a safe place to stay, but he doesn't anymore. Hes begging me to come home, stating I am making him sleep in the streets. I have 3 teenagers, 2 of which still live...

uhohcheerio · uhohcheerio

Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone has insight. My boyfriend has agreed to not drink around me or on the days he sees me. Sometimes he drinks before seeing me and tries to hide it. I realize that asking him to not drink was kind of ridiculous and never going to work, and now it's causing more insanity than doi...

Jayla · Jayla

This past weekend was my ex AHs turn to have our children for the weekend. He also had his older son (10 years). So once the weekend was over and the older son returned to his mother, she contacted me (we have a good relationship) to let me know what her son had told her about his weekend with his dad. He said d...

joker · joker

Last Wednesday, without notice, the ex alcoholic bf send me a text to say he is on his way to my home. I have joint title on the house with him. I was shocked that he drove 14 hours to surprise me without notice that he was coming to the house. I was stunned. I thought he would be her to do the renovations on the h...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 10 speaks about being angry and not appreciating the efforts of a cheerful optimist. We are suffering and feel that we are not properly understood, and that people can't even begin to appreciate what a martyr we are.The reading suggests that we should pick up the Just for...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

As an FYI there are multiple resources to pull from when in crisis .. not only coming here .. there are many support websites where information can be found. YouTube has a show called The Recovery Show and they offer a whole lot of good speakers from Mary Pearl to Eileen C, Larcene, Father Tom, .. so many...

Lyne · Lyne

With all my program tools and other helpers, I can SEE now what happened to me. In a way it's hard for me to accept that I got caught in the former merry-go-round called: I know what's best for my A (to go to AA), and because she won't do it, I gave up my serenity. I have learned that I can practice acceptanc...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I keep crying....on and off. Not really depressed but just letting it out. My bf's ex wife texted me today to thank me for being so good to her girls. She told me how much the kids enjoyed me and she said I deserved better than him. She said I was a sweet person and she hoped that I would find a great guy...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP! I've been thinking of checking in for a while and here I finally am doing that. Lately I've been more focused on doing the steps (I'm on Step 6) and also f2f meetings. I was at a wonderful ACA summer camp that went for a couple of days, and something opened up in me, I felt and feel it, but I don't know w...

Lyne · Lyne

Finding Reality: The author says if we don't face the whole picture, if we ignore parts of the truth, and/or if we pretend, we set ourselves up for disappointment and devastation. Living with alcoholics, our sense of reality was always shifting. Our lives stayed unmanageable. By sharing with o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just because "it" is back, I don't want to be back with it. (Preview) Hi all, As I've shared before regarding my AF, she's been doing great. I'm thankful for this. She's going to meetings, nightwatch etc. BUT. Big but.......the past few days her attitude is in relapse mode. The old trying to control and resentments where she works and here are back...........and.......	Tude	6	1258	Jul 24, 2018 by Tude
	So many emotions...lost dont know what to do (Preview) dont know how to sort through all these feelings. After 26 years he wants a divorce. Im insulted mad in disbelief hurt sad. It has been a long windy difficult road so i also feel relief and hope. Part of me wants to just say yes lets just divorce and the other part says to not give up. I told myself that if he ev...	stillgoing	6	958	Jul 24, 2018 by Bo
	C2C, 7/23 (Preview) Humor: The writer described her ability to have a sense of humor nothing short of miraculous. In early recovery she couldn't smile and had resentment towards anyone who did. Over time though, she surprised herself by being able to laugh at something she earlier found rather traumatic. Finding...	Lyne	7	2457	Jul 23, 2018 by Aline
	Inventoring very profitable for me. (Preview) I am always very open to the practice of inventorying myself; asking the necessary questions and listening to the responses. Solutions and more are in the responses. I have the need to inventory because of some of the things that have happened in the near past. I am inventorying my expectations i...	JerryF	6	2400	Jul 22, 2018 by JerryF
	CTC. July 21 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 21 speaks about learning to focus on ourselves and taking care of ourselves instead of others The reading suggests that letting go of our compulsion to give others advise that we keep it simple, detach an let go and let god . We also need to remind ourselves that there is a n...	lookingup	8	736	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Place me where you want me (Preview) tell me what to do. I have mentioned before that this is the short form of the 3rd step prayer from me. Short form because HP knows how long winded I can and do get and he/she gets to make decisions also. I just got thru saying that prayer...asking for guidance because part of our family just took a direct...	JerryF	13	518	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	Hope for Today July 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of being gentle with ourselves in our recovery. Specifically the writer mentions that although meetings are an important part of recovery, we attend them as part of our support and strength, not simply because we should be there. The...	yanksfan51	6	734	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Anger directed toward me (Preview) On July 4, 2018, an active alcoholic friend(woman) I had met about 6 months ago, asked me to babysit her cat she had for 8 years. She said she is leaving on a holiday for 2 weeks and I could take the cat to my home and babysit the cat. She told me, the cat can go outside and will come back. She placed the cat in a ca...	joker	6	986	Jul 22, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hard Lessons (Preview) (Please forgive me, this was entered on the wrong page previously) Many years ago growing up, I remember parents telling their kids "just wait until you have kids, then you'll understand!" I even think my Mom said that same thing to me a couple of times. When my kids were young it seemed deceptively eas...	Paloma Negra	5	747	Jul 22, 2018 by Aline
	New here... Need some advice, can't reach out to friends or family (Preview) Hi there! I'm recently registered... looking for some advice from people that may have been in similar situations. I don't want to ask any close friends or family, hoping I might get some feedback here. A quick history... back in 2014 my husband went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. He had...	NorthernGal88	8	1004	Jul 22, 2018 by Fedora
	Critical comments (Preview) I have been feeling very defensive toward comments this new man I met has made. He has said, your house is garbage, the basement in your house is dirty and smells, you need to deal with getting a home for your daughter (I am looking after her due to her mental illness), I love my house (he lives in huge 3 stor...	joker	8	605	Jul 21, 2018 by Mattie
	what now? (Preview) It seems to me from my own experience and reading these posts, meetings, etc. that most of us spend so much time focused on the alcoholic or the isms in our lives that we are at a loss as to what to do when those things are no longer working for us. When we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our l...	ginnyc	12	588	Jul 21, 2018 by Aloha
	Apartment (Preview) Hi everyone,here I am back,I know I don't come here and share often enough,I want to be able to share something that might be of help to someone else that may be going through the same,as I'm been looking into moving to a duplex from living in a house for 18 yrs now,I think it's time to go,I'm been checking i...	lookingup	13	587	Jul 21, 2018 by hotrod
	One day at a time... (Preview) Hi y'all... kia ora... ... Saturday morning- unsettled spring winds on the way... change. I used to be locked up in the past- strung out between the what-ifs and the if-only's. A tough place to be. No sense of self. I wore away at the rock here- by going to meetings... I actually love going to meetings....	DavidG	6	459	Jul 21, 2018 by ginnyc
	Hi (Preview) I'm new here and just looking for some peace. I live with an AH and have lived around alcoholism my whole life. Well apparently this has finally taken its toll. I have found that in the last 7 months I'm depressed and lethargic. I have just lost my zest for life. Now I can't say that this is solely because of...	Surfergirl	18	685	Jul 20, 2018 by Surfergirl
	ODAAT 7/20 (Preview) This page speaks about how unimportant and useless it is to try to figure out why an alcoholic drinks, or why they do whatever they do. What is important is to learn what we are doing that makes our life unmanageable. When we figure that out and begin to change it, many of our troubles will vanish. Today'...	Freetime	4	474	Jul 20, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/19/18 (Preview) Good evening MIP - tomorrow's reading from Courage to Change discusses the difference between boundaries and walls. Walls are suggested to be solid and rigid and boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable. We get to decide how open or closed we will be at any given time. Boundaries allow us...	Iamhere	5	686	Jul 20, 2018 by sakina
	Still here! (Preview) It's been a few years now, I think, since I last posted on this board! I just wanted to drop in and say "hello!" I had some major life-changes occur over the last few years - big one was a move back to the mainland. But I'm still attending Al-Anon meetings - rebuilding my Al-Anon family and support group loc...	Aloha	10	526	Jul 20, 2018 by Aloha
	Baby steps/being ok even whn others are not/progress (Preview) I think it is going on three to four years since I joined this forum. I remember clearly the big deep dark hole I was in when I crawled in here desperate to save my daughter. Its been a rough ride and things are far from perfect. However, what I have noticed is the changes in me. I no longer over react and r...	serenity47	6	488	Jul 20, 2018 by Bo
	He was going to PROPOSE?? (Preview) After I told my bf NO to his ridiculous request from my other thread.... His next text was, "You still have to let me know how we broke up in one week sometime in the near future. I'm still shocked.....I was planning on proposing this week and maybe that's why I'm shocked." Ummm, proposing? From the m...	andromeda	20	1020	Jul 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Enventory of ourselves (Preview) I'm still learning how to enventory myself , ive read diff. Formats of working it on paper,and heard others do their enventory by mind. i can see the importance of doing an enventory each n everyday, i have tried writing it out on paper had no success . i would love to hear how others here can perhaps expla...	lookingup	6	534	Jul 19, 2018 by lookingup
	Courage to Change July 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! I'm running a bit late this morning, thanks to some car issues, which makes today's reading in Courage to Change especially fitting. The author shares that they and many others often come to AlAnon with the philosophy that if something works, it will work even better if we try harder....	Skorpi	7	783	Jul 18, 2018 by JerryF
	Custody Question! (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hammering out will hopefully be the final draft of my separation agreement with my ex. I have primary custody - he will have access and no overnights. My question is around vacation and access - I have major concerns that he will try and control my life/make my life difficult if I try an...	VickiR	3	485	Jul 18, 2018 by oceanpine
	would u have him back? (Preview) AH on bail and staying at his dads for a couple of weeks til court case. Would u give him another chance? A suggestion for our getting my 'trust' back talk - what action could we take? Help!	ling	11	758	Jul 18, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Here (Preview) Thanks for adding me. I am glad to be here. Right now I am trying to start working the steps and working on ME. I have finally admitted that this has taken over my life. I thought my husband hit his rock bottom on St. Patricks Day when the police had to be called, but after 2 months (I think) of sobriety he...	hopefulmom1	7	840	Jul 18, 2018 by hopefulmom1
	Angry and Afraid (Preview) So I came home from work yesterday after having the best day in a long time, to find something amiss. Couldn't put my finger on it... air conditioning was on, TV was on, Kid's bed looked slept in, dog was waiting by door, Kid's phone on floor near mattress. "Hi, I'm home!" No answer. Hmmmm. Maybe he is up at...	PosiesandPuppies	19	849	Jul 17, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C 7-17-2018 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 17 speaks about learning to live life by focusing on ourselves,as well as allowing others to do the same. The reading suggests that we keep in mind that we have our own life to live and this life is separate from others. We must take actions and make decisions which might affe...	hotrod	8	579	Jul 17, 2018 by Tude
	Need some ESH and virtual hugs please (Preview) Sorry I haven't posted here in awhile - although I do check in and attend regular f2f alanon meetings in my area. To cut a long story short, AH left for 6 months and came back and all was Ok for awhile, but he is back on the slippery slope downwards. Things are deteriorating day by day and I am really struggl...	Bettertomorrow	13	742	Jul 17, 2018 by joker
	Breaking up (Preview) HI I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and have been trying to break up with him for around a year of that time. Before Christmas last year I made it very clear that I would not be seeing him again and that this would not change. Previously during our 'breakups', he would promise to be reliable, then...	alis	13	659	Jul 17, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Struggling with the guilt of needing time away - feedback requested - any POV (Preview) Hi all, I'm been with my husband 9+ years now. When we first met, a self confident, ambitious, happy man. We married at 40 - both realizing we really had been waiting for each others. All those frogs? I found him (obviously not perfect, who is) but I've never been happier. Over the years,though, his job...	Bogie18	10	608	Jul 17, 2018 by milkwood
	enjoying my summer! (Preview) These days I am just enjoying my summer & relaxing a lot. I am so grateful that the sun has been shining every day lately. I am so glad I can come on here & express more positive thoughts. I have been doing the best I can to follow this program. Especially one day at a time. I am so blessed that I can say...	Hoot Nanny	4	432	Jul 16, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	New Member Hello (Preview) Hello All! I've been a silent lurker of your message board for quite some time now, finally conjuring up the courage to say Hi! I'm Angela. I've been an "active" member of Al-Anon for about 3 years now. I say "active" because I've been off and on since I started the program - at times, thinking I could...	amsorann	9	590	Jul 16, 2018 by Jen61
	C2C, 7/16 (Preview) Importance of non-busy time: The reading today discusses how many people stay so busy as to avoid and deny their feelings. A constant frenzy of activity keeps us focused outward. Abusing activities is different than just plain hard work. And sometimes it becomes difficult to relax at all. In A...	Lyne	7	632	Jul 16, 2018 by Iamhere
	what am I grateful for today?? (Preview) TODAY, I am grateful for: I am living in more faith (in me and HP within) and less fear, thanks to program and step 3 My younger daughters toe is healing and she may not lose the entire nail As far as I know, older daughter is still sober I got another vintage piece of furniture at my favorite thrift shop for...	mamalioness	10	707	Jul 16, 2018 by RachelsMom
	Hope for Today July 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on step 8, when we make a list of people we have harmed and are willing to make amends. The writer shares that at a sponsors suggestion, he/she made this list in column form, with the 3rd column describing the harmful act. As is described, being specif...	yanksfan51	3	551	Jul 15, 2018 by DavidG
	CTC,,,,July 14 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 14 speaks about the burden of guilt and how making amends offers-a great release from it. The reading suggests that we often do not like facing the harm that we have done in the past and so, without knowing it.,we carry the goats with us. By having the courage to look at the past, o...	lookingup	4	532	Jul 14, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	constantly trying to keep in contact ðŸ˜¡ (Preview) A few years ago I decided that I was going to love on with my life and my little family. I stopped contact with my family I grew up with because my parents are alcoholics and in turn my siblings turned into alcoholics(i went the other way and got depression). The damaged that this has caused means everyone...	Pol	5	527	Jul 14, 2018 by Pol
	ODAAT - July 13 (Preview) Happy Friday the 13th everyone! Some believe this is an unlucky day, but to me it is a lucky day because... well, I only have to live this one day today, and I feel very blessed. In today's ODAAT page, the writer expresses gratitude for being led to Al-Anon and receiving the sharing and comfort of others...	Freetime	4	611	Jul 13, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 7/12/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses 'encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives' as part of Tradition Five. The writer was a bit confused as Al-Anon suggests that we focus on ourselves and this suggests we seek to understand and encourage others. The reading goes on to suggest that perhaps we t...	Iamhere	7	725	Jul 13, 2018 by Tude
	When it's ALL about the A .. (Preview) And this can be related to when it's all about the other person and their obliviousness to the fact of how much pain they have caused .. I swear God knew what He was doing when I moved out of State because I would so be in prison orange right now. My oldest has had a LOT on their plate over the past year .. a...	SerenityRUS	10	657	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	Alanon and etiquette (Preview) not alanon material... -- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 7th of July 2018 07:42:38 AM	mamalioness	11	770	Jul 13, 2018 by Finding grace
	In hindsight (Preview) The enabler, codependent in me is rattled. I don't like where it has found itself as a consequence of thinking I would be nice while not giving myself boundaries to stay within and now I need to follow the guidelines of the program especially those about being honest with myself and doing the next ri...	JerryF	10	623	Jul 13, 2018 by JerryF
	I'm New (Preview) So what to say...I had been dating an alcoholic for seven years (though he insists he was not an alcoholic when I met him). We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least. He went to rehab last year, was sober for 6 months and then fell off the wagon in April. In May I was admitted to hospital aft...	Want to Bloom	2	531	Jul 12, 2018 by starcatcher2
	can't think of a good subject line. (Preview) I was reading through some old posts of success stories, having watched a few more blooming. Success. What is it for those of us who qualify for this programme? Somewhere over the last six months, I had really drifted out to sea. Rowing back to shore now that I recall it's direction. I looked up some old p...	a4l	8	756	Jul 12, 2018 by DavidG
	New here (Preview) Hi, Iâm new here, I havent been to a alanon meeting yet, Iâm plsnning on going when I can get my kids babysat. In hindsight my husband has been a functioning alcoholic since we met as teenagers, he always had that extra drink, always finished the bottle of wine on the sly thinking no one had noticed anywa...	Happymoggy	10	937	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	It could be .. (Preview) I was wrong for what I just did, I am over it at this point. I wrote the email with the idea I can let go of whatever the outcome is, I am tired of this coming back on my oldest. And it needs to stop, you know light stops the darkness and the lying, secrets and so on .. so .. let there be light and sorry for ya if you...	SerenityRUS	4	649	Jul 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	We need op status for chair people (Preview) I've been chairing for about 2 months or so and would like op status myself, but if not me, we need somebody. We had an idler for at least 48 hrs and nobody online with the power to kick them. How can we keep the chat room safe with no ops?	Hesees	6	715	Jul 11, 2018 by hidden_in_plain_sight
	New member needing advice about my husband's drinking (Preview) Hi all I have joined this group because I am not sure what I should do right now. I'm sorry if this is a long story... I have been with my husband for a long time. We have had a lot of challenges in our lives but always got through them, we have always loved each other very much. Around 2 years ago he started dri...	sadtimes	12	800	Jul 11, 2018 by Aline
	Just checking in (Preview) Hi everyone, it has been a while since I have checked in. I just passed the one year anniversary since my STBXAH and I split. I am feeling amazing for the most part, but also pretty stressed as we reach the closing date on our home. I am happy to be free of all our ties, but his tension and behaviour have escal...	VickiR	6	581	Jul 11, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change July 11 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feeling our feelings and balancing them with appropriate action. The author shares that they used to deal with anger in appropriate ways - denial, fury, bottling or directing feelings outward. With the help of AlAnon, the author learned to acknowledg...	Skorpi	6	618	Jul 11, 2018 by Pol
	Courage to make him leave, how to make him stay away (Preview) I have been married for 18 years. My husband is a drinker and a cocaine addict. I finally had courage to make him leave 3 weeks ago. He did have a safe place to stay, but he doesn't anymore. Hes begging me to come home, stating I am making him sleep in the streets. I have 3 teenagers, 2 of which still live...	Almosthip	4	635	Jul 11, 2018 by mamalioness
	Tried to control my boyfriend's drinking, now want to back out? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone has insight. My boyfriend has agreed to not drink around me or on the days he sees me. Sometimes he drinks before seeing me and tries to hide it. I realize that asking him to not drink was kind of ridiculous and never going to work, and now it's causing more insanity than doi...	uhohcheerio	8	693	Jul 10, 2018 by Bo
	Custody issues with XAH (Preview) This past weekend was my ex AHs turn to have our children for the weekend. He also had his older son (10 years). So once the weekend was over and the older son returned to his mother, she contacted me (we have a good relationship) to let me know what her son had told her about his weekend with his dad. He said d...	Jayla	5	632	Jul 10, 2018 by Mattie
	The ex is ratteling to my core (Preview) Last Wednesday, without notice, the ex alcoholic bf send me a text to say he is on his way to my home. I have joint title on the house with him. I was shocked that he drove 14 hours to surprise me without notice that he was coming to the house. I was stunned. I thought he would be her to do the renovations on the h...	joker	6	695	Jul 10, 2018 by Mattie
	ODAT Reading 7-10-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 10 speaks about being angry and not appreciating the efforts of a cheerful optimist. We are suffering and feel that we are not properly understood, and that people can't even begin to appreciate what a martyr we are.The reading suggests that we should pick up the Just for...	hotrod	6	629	Jul 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	Podcasts and YouTube (Preview) As an FYI there are multiple resources to pull from when in crisis .. not only coming here .. there are many support websites where information can be found. YouTube has a show called The Recovery Show and they offer a whole lot of good speakers from Mary Pearl to Eileen C, Larcene, Father Tom, .. so many...	SerenityRUS	9	814	Jul 10, 2018 by Pol
	Lost my serenity (Preview) With all my program tools and other helpers, I can SEE now what happened to me. In a way it's hard for me to accept that I got caught in the former merry-go-round called: I know what's best for my A (to go to AA), and because she won't do it, I gave up my serenity. I have learned that I can practice acceptanc...	Lyne	17	706	Jul 10, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Crying but with gratitude! (Preview) So, I keep crying....on and off. Not really depressed but just letting it out. My bf's ex wife texted me today to thank me for being so good to her girls. She told me how much the kids enjoyed me and she said I deserved better than him. She said I was a sweet person and she hoped that I would find a great guy...	andromeda	19	1041	Jul 9, 2018 by andromeda
	Checking in (Preview) Hi, MIP! I've been thinking of checking in for a while and here I finally am doing that. Lately I've been more focused on doing the steps (I'm on Step 6) and also f2f meetings. I was at a wonderful ACA summer camp that went for a couple of days, and something opened up in me, I felt and feel it, but I don't know w...	Aline	5	752	Jul 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C, 7/9 (Preview) Finding Reality: The author says if we don't face the whole picture, if we ignore parts of the truth, and/or if we pretend, we set ourselves up for disappointment and devastation. Living with alcoholics, our sense of reality was always shifting. Our lives stayed unmanageable. By sharing with o...	Lyne	6	724	Jul 9, 2018 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.