Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

babysteps · babysteps

My sis-in-law (AH's sister) went in to outpatient rehab 2-months ago and recently relapsed. Her husband has called us displaying the classic signs of co-dependency and a person in desperate need of some help himself. I have tried to encourage him to look into al anon, explaining that it is about taki...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone))))))) How bad is your desire to hoard up guilt? Do you have a special fire proof safe for it? Maybe some of you ladies have a velvet lined box with a dainty little key. Do you make sure that nobody else has any.... selfishly taking the guilt from everyone you touch like you were curing...

ally · ally

((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) My life has been a mery-go-round, for the last eight months (more than usual)..lol Anyway, I have constantly "Let" myself be manipulated, used, etc, by the recovering A in my life. I didn't see it at the time, didnt want to. I know all my family and frien...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I'm doing my 4th step with my sponsor and it is NOT fun. Okay - I knew that it wouldn't be - but this has really gotten to me. Since starting this step I've typed 7 pages on FEAR and 7 pages on Anger and I have really bad dreams every night so I wake up in a 'bad way' ~ Gratefully I am living with a recovering alcoh...

wp · wp

Could we have some guidance on when and where to post FAQ's that we want to suggest for the new project? When you get a chance, would like to hear. Thanks much, mspw

kissers · kissers

A fellow member and I have been friends for a couple years. He had told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him I was not interested in anything other than friendship. He moved away 8 months ago to another state and I hadn't heard anything from him. Recently he e-mailed me and told me he was comi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate. -- William Arthur Ward Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what the...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I haven't posted here much but am always reading and have went to some f/t/f meetings, read all kinds of books and am getting much better after almost 2 years apart and 2 years of living together. My axbf is coming by my house today to pay me some money he owes me. i told him to mail it or just drop it off. yes I...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi al-pals, I'm on vacation at the beach in a lovely condo that has HBO! Wow -- what a treat! Last night, we watched "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." It was such a nice chick flick... about some young women (aged 17yrs?) who deal with various issues with the help of this pair of pan...

souljoy · souljoy

What do you do when your AH starts badgering you or telling you how much you suck? For the last 24 hours I have been told I don't appreciate him or the place we live, been ignored when I say food's ready, and kicked out of my own house for a few hours.I'm so exhusted and raw emotionally from all of it. I don't d...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I missed most of work and sat in court for three hours today. It wasn't particularly scary because I knew the A probably wouldn't be there as he is in jail. I didn't have to talk to anyone, never said a word and was awarded a $413 per month order. It starts in September. Like I said tho, he's in jail b...

mom1973 · mom1973

I am not sure if I am handling things in a positve manner as far as family gatherings go. I have three adult children. In the past most holidays were sucessfully held at my home. When one of the other children had a party everyone gathered at their home. Since my A daughter's behavior has gotten worse she...

meagain · meagain

Does anyone else feel "afraid" when leaving home---away from the phone?? Just waiting for the next "scary" phone call. My "A" son (age 32) usually calls me at least every other day. Well last week he called-and I told him Bill collectors were calling here (don't kn...

missyd1111 · missyd1111

Hi my name is melissa and im 23 years old with 2 of the most beautiful kids in the whole world..I'm a stay home mother,and i wouldn't have it any other way...me and my fiance of 8 years purchased our first house almost 2years ago.. i would say my life is complete accept for one thing ,my fiance is an full tim...

Rora · Rora

I get myself confused sometimes, because my husband often makes me feel like if I were different, things between us would be better. Understanding that there are always two sides to a story and two perspectives to it as well, sometimes I feel stubborn and confident that I am not looking at this wrong,...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello MIP Family, I had some free time today to get online and vent a bit. The weekend started out great. Picked up dinner for everyone last night and a friend from work came by to get her hair colored and cut. My AH had the kids in the bedroom watching a movie and then after the movie was over he comes out a...

mom1973 · mom1973

Hello again. I am glad I started coming here to write my feelings. I mention before that my family seems to have abandonded me. Now my Partner of 4 years joins that group. I noticed he was pulling back and becoming very verbally rude. The little things like taking me out for groceries and occassional din...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today's thought from Hazelden is: In the long run, it's easier to carry out our Higher Power's will than our own. The good news of the Twelve Step program is that we don't have to continue trying to make self-will work. Attempting to make the rest of the world conform to what we think we want is a little lik...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My ah hasn't seen the kids since May right so he was on his way tonight. I get a call that the clutch in his truck is broken. I believe him but the kids are devastated. He had them all worked up to go to the water park as a family. The next time he can come is in a month from now because we won't have the money again t...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi (((((family))))), A lot of you know that I kicked my 19 yr old daughter out in early June for her nasty attitude and blatant disrespect towards me. I have had peaceful days since then... I found out she has been living with her b/f and his dad (b/f's mom is out of the picture). I've not said anything, s...

gimmpy · gimmpy

How can I get myself to the point where I say enough is enough. The thought of my daughter on the streets is so painful, it's like nothing I have ever felt. I have given her so many chances, and still she shows no signs of getting her life back on track. There is always something that alows me to convince my...

danz123 · danz123

Miracles in Progress July 8,2007 Group Conscience Meeting Minutes The chairperson opened the meeting w/The Serenity Prayer. OLD BUSINESS The current meeting chair list was posted, as well as the following op requirements. The position of Room Operator or Monitor is one of responsibility for the...

jewely · jewely

lately i have been having some insightfull thoughts concerning the "wisdom to know the difference". i have been in the program for many years now, but, until recently have not heard the voice of higher power clearly. today, i was going to go to a round up. it is HOt where i live, sickenin...

pepodwyer · pepodwyer

How do you know if a person is an alcoholic? I read the page that described the behavior. I see some of it in my husband. I grew up around abundant alcohol use, but it still took me a long time to realize that my father was an alcoholic. He drank every day, not getting falling down drunk. Alc...

Fifi · Fifi

It has been one week since my addict BF has moved out of mine and my little girls home and life. Just like his sobriety and other changes....it went fast and furious. Cold turkey. Like he was never here. It is hard for me to process all the emotions alone. How can someone just evaporate?! Like he never sh...

QOD · QOD

My AH's grandma called me and said that his mom and stepdad woke him up and talked to him a little while ago. My stepdad had said that he was going to tell him he couldn't stay there unless he got treatment. WELL - he agreed and they immediately took him to a hospital/institute.....I don't know what you c...

jewely · jewely

i have been getting these moments of enlightenment lately. thoughts that come to my mind that are as real as the setting sun or a full moon night. recently i said to self, '' i like my privacy. i don't want to give it up.'' i have been dealing with the defect of isolation, and, as quick as i had that thought to...

Rita G · Rita G

Hey my MIP family, I have tried to post this message a few times - written a long explanation - then deleted it. I can't make it to a meeting today (Oh, do I need one badly) hopefully I'll make it tomorrow night. Basically, please just remind me that I have the right to do what is best to take care of myself...

gardengal · gardengal

Alcoholic's drink because they think they have to. They use the alcohol as a crutch and an escape. They are in emotional pain, and use the alcohol to kill that pain, and eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they cant live without it. Hope for recovery lies in their abili...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Am I doing something wrong? I can not get onto chat. I've looked at my "settings" and I don't see anything for that :( Help me if you can. Thanx.

maresie2 · maresie2

I am living in a house right now with a woman and her son which is really bringing up a lot for me. I've written before about seeing her codepenence in myself. She really puts out for her son who really just does what he feels like. Talk about a mirror of many situaitons for me. Lately she h...

rita m · rita m

i am so glad someone in my al anon homegroup suggested this message board. i have been going to meetings again for about 3 months. went for over ten years and took about 2 yrs off. it is nice to be back. i am focusing more on me and not my a. my issue is i am a great enabler to all, not just my husband. i have a wonde...

Becky1 · Becky1

I went to my Mom's in Kansas from Ohio for a week, and returned Sat. July 7. It was a planned visit, to help her do some things she needed done (she's 86 and lives alone.) Before I left, my AH and I had not been getting along at all. He was so cold, distant, etc. I ended up leaving an 8 page typewritten letter...

Rita G · Rita G

"The day is just ruined, ReeRee" This is what my granddaughter, Lexi said to me this morning as I was bringing her and her sister, Bella to daycare. She is about 4 1/2 yrs old - I asked her how could her day be ruined at 6:30 in the morning. She said "I wanted to wear my sparkly orange outfit...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My ah will be here tomorrow night. We have not seen him since early May, since before the miscarriage when he said some very hurtful things to me. We speak on the phone sometimes hateful, sometimes decent, most times like nothing has happend. I let him know even though it may sound cruel to you that my hea...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have a great friend here on campus. Her name is Kristen. Kristen has moderate CP. She needs alot of help--opening doors, opening pasta jars, opening things. She needs help getting her dinner plate made, making sure she's got a plate made up for her and set for dinner, and things like this. Things you...

Chetch · Chetch

I am a 57 year old woman married to an alcholic. He is extremely intelligent and is in private practice as an attorney. The drinking didn't get really bad until about 2 years ago, coinciding with my being diagnosed with lung cancer. In the past 2 years I have had 2 lung cancer surgeries, breast cancer...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), Anyone know where I can address medical issues without rocking the boat too much? Once again, the residents screwed up on writing out the correct pain meds for hubby. I am getting frustrated to say the least. While we want to get off the pain meds as soon as possible, accordin...

shadow1 · shadow1

Peggy7 I have looked for you on the board and can't seem to locate you can you please pm me so i can contact you. Thanks Shadow/aka shad

Fifi · Fifi

So one of my hardest struggles right now is trying to move through/get over the fact that my ex cheated and lied so much. He moved out thank god almost a week ago and is already involved with someone else....but our entire relationship he maintained secretive inappropriate female relationships and v...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi family, I hope it's okay to call you all that... I am struggling a little with detaching from my AH today. It's hard to get off his back when he is acting so self-absorbed that he doesn't do right by the kids. As a mother, I feel it's my duty to defend them to the hilt... even against their father....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, things are moving along smoothly. I think this is the longest run of nothing exciting happening in years and years, maybe ever. I guess I don't have much to say and seems like that's a good thing considering all the other surrounding posts and the chaos. Gosh, I'm glad I don't have much to say. I h...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Does anyone have any good recovery jokes they want to share? I post my fave about making eggs for the alcoholic once in awhile, but it's getting dated. Here's one I found online, and maybe we can have a few new or good ones thrown around here. Keep smiling! Tom A guy decides to take off work early from w...

serendipity · serendipity

I shared last night with my home group what has been helping me. I have felt so heavy with the weight of life I just wanted to lighten up. But I was sick of lightening up by judging others or myself and trying to laugh at my own misery. I have 3 kids involved and dysfunction is just not funny. So, I have taken t...

Jill · Jill

Oh I lost it! Imagine a call center worker on the other side of the world, Shes working through the night, and then she has to take a crowded bus home in the morning to a crowded house and have her family take her wages. She was a star student, learned English and even an American accent for this work. Then s...

QOD · QOD

Oh what to do what to do. My mother-in-law just called and said that my AH has turned up. His stepdad just got home from work and my AH was sacked out in his recliner in the living room. His stepdad had stupidly given my AH a key to his house months ago b/c he was staying there when I wouldn't let him come hom...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

Hello again everyone. Thanks to those that responded to my last post. Basically my husband is still not talking to me and I have found it within myself to ignore this, and yes enjoy the silence. When he has spoken to me it is to tell me that he pays this and that in the house and insinuates that I don't pa...

Liza · Liza

I have been married for four years. My husband has always been a big drinker, and I was, too, when we met. But then I unexpectantly became pregnant, and all my priorities shifted from being a partying kid to a mom, and I became a person who hates to get drunk so I just don't do it. However, my husband didn't c...

Kim65 · Kim65

Today is the court hearing for the restraining order. It has been rescheduled three times. The first hearing (if you remember) the A and I came in without counsel and the judge cancelled and rescheduled, insisting we both GET counsel first. I didn't understand why at first, thought it was pretty c...

gligirl · gligirl

my bf has been clean for 2.5 years, and started steroids 6 months ago? what is everyones opinion on this!!! to me its an old habit,(needles) which im afraid may bring back his old behavior!!!

kissers · kissers

I don't like asking for anything; however, I could use some prayers at this time. I haven't seen the A in 7 years. He has no contact with our daughter and does nothing for her. I have been struggling lately because daycare for the summer is more than I can afford-$600 per month. I have asked my boss for a rai...

babysteps · babysteps

This may get convoluted, so I will try to keep it brief. Yesterday evening I was upstairs folding clothes and my 7-year old daughter and a friend of hers were downstairs with AH. My daughter found a t-shirt online that she wanted to order, but her friend said, "your dad won't let you get that."...

QOD · QOD

I was typing a response to someone a minute ago and realized I should probably start my own topic b/c my brain is just rolling right now. My AH has been gone for 1 week and 1 day now. No one has heard a word from him. He has no access to money that I know of. There is $47 left in the joint acct that I thought he wo...

maresie2 · maresie2

i see msyelf so much in this woman I have to deal with that lives in my house. Either she's assailing me to eat food she's cooked in some huge gesture of making food for everyone as soon as I get in the door or she's accusing me of something. Last night I got home and I was busting to go to the bathroo...

kissers · kissers

I had found this a long time ago and came across it again, so I thought I would share... Learn How To Let Go Letting go is the key to flowing with life and the key to having life work. At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that t...

maire rua · maire rua

at present I am going through a very difficult financial time and have a number of important decisions to make. I am dealing with people who are not particularly bothered that I have no money to pay my bills though I have worked my tail off for the last three months. I am really tired of that but have manage...

gligirl · gligirl

I HAVE BEEN DATING A RECOVERING A FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS, ALTHOUGH THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ADDICT, I HAVE 2 COUSINS WHO WERE VERY BIG A'S FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, WHO ALSO JUST FOUND SOBERITY. I HAVE HAD MANY CRAZY AND INSANE RELATIONSHIPS, THOUGH NON...

gknee · gknee

My newly sober AH has been out of state for the past week visiting his family. I have been talking to him every day or two and it sounds like he has had a nice time. He attended 2 AA meetings while out there and told his sisters all about his addiction and recovery work. This was huge! Here's the thing-- I...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me their perspective on my situation. I'm driving myself mad at at the moment. As I get better and pull away from the disease of Aism,I can see the codependancy of my family members more clearly. There is a lot of control trying to go on. But this is commonplace in m...

kiddo · kiddo

So, Matt got out of rehab today. He called me, and we were talking, and every time he starts talking about things he had to do or still has to do I start crying. I just can't handle it anymore. He has to live with his grandparents because they feel if he just goes home he'll relapse, which I would expect of mos...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to describe Al anon? (Preview) My sis-in-law (AH's sister) went in to outpatient rehab 2-months ago and recently relapsed. Her husband has called us displaying the classic signs of co-dependency and a person in desperate need of some help himself. I have tried to encourage him to look into al anon, explaining that it is about taki...	babysteps	7	787	Jul 17, 2007 by canadianguy
	Lets hear from the guilt monger out there... (Preview) ((((((Everyone))))))) How bad is your desire to hoard up guilt? Do you have a special fire proof safe for it? Maybe some of you ladies have a velvet lined box with a dainty little key. Do you make sure that nobody else has any.... selfishly taking the guilt from everyone you touch like you were curing...	rtexas	7	1678	Jul 17, 2007 by gardengal
	CHANGING FOR ME.... (Preview) ((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) My life has been a mery-go-round, for the last eight months (more than usual)..lol Anyway, I have constantly "Let" myself be manipulated, used, etc, by the recovering A in my life. I didn't see it at the time, didnt want to. I know all my family and frien...	ally	2	425	Jul 17, 2007 by Barbs45
	STEP 4 ~ UGH Step 4 is a dooozy (Preview) I'm doing my 4th step with my sponsor and it is NOT fun. Okay - I knew that it wouldn't be - but this has really gotten to me. Since starting this step I've typed 7 pages on FEAR and 7 pages on Anger and I have really bad dreams every night so I wake up in a 'bad way' ~ Gratefully I am living with a recovering alcoh...	Positivelydee	10	645	Jul 16, 2007 by Positivelydee
	Danz and FAQ's ? (Preview) Could we have some guidance on when and where to post FAQ's that we want to suggest for the new project? When you get a chance, would like to hear. Thanks much, mspw	wp	4	423	Jul 16, 2007 by tea2
	Boundaries (Preview) A fellow member and I have been friends for a couple years. He had told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him I was not interested in anything other than friendship. He moved away 8 months ago to another state and I hadn't heard anything from him. Recently he e-mailed me and told me he was comi...	kissers	8	528	Jul 16, 2007 by ally
	Manipulation (Preview) Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate. -- William Arthur Ward Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what the...	Tiger2006	1	367	Jul 16, 2007 by ally
	Needing Some ESH! (Preview) I haven't posted here much but am always reading and have went to some f/t/f meetings, read all kinds of books and am getting much better after almost 2 years apart and 2 years of living together. My axbf is coming by my house today to pay me some money he owes me. i told him to mail it or just drop it off. yes I...	sisdragonfly1957	5	343	Jul 16, 2007 by twinkie
	movie therapy?! (Preview) Hi al-pals, I'm on vacation at the beach in a lovely condo that has HBO! Wow -- what a treat! Last night, we watched "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." It was such a nice chick flick... about some young women (aged 17yrs?) who deal with various issues with the help of this pair of pan...	itsgot2bgd	5	508	Jul 16, 2007 by twinkie
	What Do You Do? (Preview) What do you do when your AH starts badgering you or telling you how much you suck? For the last 24 hours I have been told I don't appreciate him or the place we live, been ignored when I say food's ready, and kicked out of my own house for a few hours.I'm so exhusted and raw emotionally from all of it. I don't d...	souljoy	3	415	Jul 16, 2007 by Mobirdie
	Went to Court!!!! UPDATE>>> (Preview) Well I missed most of work and sat in court for three hours today. It wasn't particularly scary because I knew the A probably wouldn't be there as he is in jail. I didn't have to talk to anyone, never said a word and was awarded a $413 per month order. It starts in September. Like I said tho, he's in jail b...	carolinagirl	5	381	Jul 16, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Family Gatherings have become a nightmare (Preview) I am not sure if I am handling things in a positve manner as far as family gatherings go. I have three adult children. In the past most holidays were sucessfully held at my home. When one of the other children had a party everyone gathered at their home. Since my A daughter's behavior has gotten worse she...	mom1973	5	991	Jul 16, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Going on Holidays~ (Preview) Does anyone else feel "afraid" when leaving home---away from the phone?? Just waiting for the next "scary" phone call. My "A" son (age 32) usually calls me at least every other day. Well last week he called-and I told him Bill collectors were calling here (don't kn...	meagain	1	348	Jul 16, 2007 by carolena
	We dont deserve this (Preview) Hi my name is melissa and im 23 years old with 2 of the most beautiful kids in the whole world..I'm a stay home mother,and i wouldn't have it any other way...me and my fiance of 8 years purchased our first house almost 2years ago.. i would say my life is complete accept for one thing ,my fiance is an full tim...	missyd1111	9	402	Jul 16, 2007 by missyd1111
	How do you know it's NOT you? (Preview) I get myself confused sometimes, because my husband often makes me feel like if I were different, things between us would be better. Understanding that there are always two sides to a story and two perspectives to it as well, sometimes I feel stubborn and confident that I am not looking at this wrong,...	Rora	12	1051	Jul 16, 2007 by Katy
	Taking a break from the selfishness today (Preview) Hello MIP Family, I had some free time today to get online and vent a bit. The weekend started out great. Picked up dinner for everyone last night and a friend from work came by to get her hair colored and cut. My AH had the kids in the bedroom watching a movie and then after the movie was over he comes out a...	twinmom2	4	428	Jul 15, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Another one bites the dust (Preview) Hello again. I am glad I started coming here to write my feelings. I mention before that my family seems to have abandonded me. Now my Partner of 4 years joins that group. I noticed he was pulling back and becoming very verbally rude. The little things like taking me out for groceries and occassional din...	mom1973	8	568	Jul 15, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	God's Will (Preview) Today's thought from Hazelden is: In the long run, it's easier to carry out our Higher Power's will than our own. The good news of the Twelve Step program is that we don't have to continue trying to make self-will work. Attempting to make the rest of the world conform to what we think we want is a little lik...	Tiger2006	0	220	Jul 15, 2007 by Tiger2006
	My poor sweet kids (Preview) My ah hasn't seen the kids since May right so he was on his way tonight. I get a call that the clutch in his truck is broken. I believe him but the kids are devastated. He had them all worked up to go to the water park as a family. The next time he can come is in a month from now because we won't have the money again t...	Friendofyours	4	1278	Jul 15, 2007 by lmt123
	hugged my daughter yesterday...:) (Preview) Hi (((((family))))), A lot of you know that I kicked my 19 yr old daughter out in early June for her nasty attitude and blatant disrespect towards me. I have had peaceful days since then... I found out she has been living with her b/f and his dad (b/f's mom is out of the picture). I've not said anything, s...	lmt123	6	484	Jul 15, 2007 by greta
	where does one find the courage? (Preview) How can I get myself to the point where I say enough is enough. The thought of my daughter on the streets is so painful, it's like nothing I have ever felt. I have given her so many chances, and still she shows no signs of getting her life back on track. There is always something that alows me to convince my...	gimmpy	8	575	Jul 15, 2007 by greta
	July 8 Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Miracles in Progress July 8,2007 Group Conscience Meeting Minutes The chairperson opened the meeting w/The Serenity Prayer. OLD BUSINESS The current meeting chair list was posted, as well as the following op requirements. The position of Room Operator or Monitor is one of responsibility for the...	danz123	3	655	Jul 15, 2007 by Karilynn
	wisdom to know the difference (Preview) lately i have been having some insightfull thoughts concerning the "wisdom to know the difference". i have been in the program for many years now, but, until recently have not heard the voice of higher power clearly. today, i was going to go to a round up. it is HOt where i live, sickenin...	jewely	3	537	Jul 15, 2007 by jewely
	How do you know a person is an Alcoholic? (Preview) How do you know if a person is an alcoholic? I read the page that described the behavior. I see some of it in my husband. I grew up around abundant alcohol use, but it still took me a long time to realize that my father was an alcoholic. He drank every day, not getting falling down drunk. Alc...	pepodwyer	7	651	Jul 14, 2007 by pepodwyer
	one week (Preview) It has been one week since my addict BF has moved out of mine and my little girls home and life. Just like his sobriety and other changes....it went fast and furious. Cold turkey. Like he was never here. It is hard for me to process all the emotions alone. How can someone just evaporate?! Like he never sh...	Fifi	3	280	Jul 14, 2007 by Kim65
	UPDATE!!! (Preview) My AH's grandma called me and said that his mom and stepdad woke him up and talked to him a little while ago. My stepdad had said that he was going to tell him he couldn't stay there unless he got treatment. WELL - he agreed and they immediately took him to a hospital/institute.....I don't know what you c...	QOD	9	432	Jul 14, 2007 by CJ
	wisdom to know the difference (Preview) i have been getting these moments of enlightenment lately. thoughts that come to my mind that are as real as the setting sun or a full moon night. recently i said to self, '' i like my privacy. i don't want to give it up.'' i have been dealing with the defect of isolation, and, as quick as i had that thought to...	jewely	5	492	Jul 14, 2007 by Fifi
	Help (Preview) Hey my MIP family, I have tried to post this message a few times - written a long explanation - then deleted it. I can't make it to a meeting today (Oh, do I need one badly) hopefully I'll make it tomorrow night. Basically, please just remind me that I have the right to do what is best to take care of myself...	Rita G	11	629	Jul 14, 2007 by gardengal
	Alcoholics drink because....... (Preview) Alcoholic's drink because they think they have to. They use the alcohol as a crutch and an escape. They are in emotional pain, and use the alcohol to kill that pain, and eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they cant live without it. Hope for recovery lies in their abili...	gardengal	4	634	Jul 13, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Chat room help please (Preview) Am I doing something wrong? I can not get onto chat. I've looked at my "settings" and I don't see anything for that :( Help me if you can. Thanx.	Friendofyours	4	424	Jul 13, 2007 by Friendofyours
	More ont the mirror stuff (Preview) I am living in a house right now with a woman and her son which is really bringing up a lot for me. I've written before about seeing her codepenence in myself. She really puts out for her son who really just does what he feels like. Talk about a mirror of many situaitons for me. Lately she h...	maresie2	1	391	Jul 13, 2007 by lin0606
	learning to detach with love (Preview) i am so glad someone in my al anon homegroup suggested this message board. i have been going to meetings again for about 3 months. went for over ten years and took about 2 yrs off. it is nice to be back. i am focusing more on me and not my a. my issue is i am a great enabler to all, not just my husband. i have a wonde...	rita m	6	570	Jul 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	Good to Be Home (Preview) I went to my Mom's in Kansas from Ohio for a week, and returned Sat. July 7. It was a planned visit, to help her do some things she needed done (she's 86 and lives alone.) Before I left, my AH and I had not been getting along at all. He was so cold, distant, etc. I ended up leaving an 8 page typewritten letter...	Becky1	6	460	Jul 13, 2007 by Becky1
	"The Day is just Ruined, ReeRee" (Preview) "The day is just ruined, ReeRee" This is what my granddaughter, Lexi said to me this morning as I was bringing her and her sister, Bella to daycare. She is about 4 1/2 yrs old - I asked her how could her day be ruined at 6:30 in the morning. She said "I wanted to wear my sparkly orange outfit...	Rita G	13	883	Jul 13, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Anxiety comin on. (Preview) My ah will be here tomorrow night. We have not seen him since early May, since before the miscarriage when he said some very hurtful things to me. We speak on the phone sometimes hateful, sometimes decent, most times like nothing has happend. I let him know even though it may sound cruel to you that my hea...	Friendofyours	4	478	Jul 13, 2007 by maresie2
	Getting all my buttons pushed, and really need to be reassured right now (Preview) I have a great friend here on campus. Her name is Kristen. Kristen has moderate CP. She needs alot of help--opening doors, opening pasta jars, opening things. She needs help getting her dinner plate made, making sure she's got a plate made up for her and set for dinner, and things like this. Things you...	Tiger2006	10	541	Jul 13, 2007 by Lunamoth
	What would you do in my situation? (Preview) I am a 57 year old woman married to an alcholic. He is extremely intelligent and is in private practice as an attorney. The drinking didn't get really bad until about 2 years ago, coinciding with my being diagnosed with lung cancer. In the past 2 years I have had 2 lung cancer surgeries, breast cancer...	Chetch	9	750	Jul 13, 2007 by Chetch
	Off topic question? (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), Anyone know where I can address medical issues without rocking the boat too much? Once again, the residents screwed up on writing out the correct pain meds for hubby. I am getting frustrated to say the least. While we want to get off the pain meds as soon as possible, accordin...	Karilynn	8	517	Jul 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	Peggy7 ?????? (Preview) Peggy7 I have looked for you on the board and can't seem to locate you can you please pm me so i can contact you. Thanks Shadow/aka shad	shadow1	3	323	Jul 13, 2007 by shadow1
	how to get over the lies and cheating (Preview) So one of my hardest struggles right now is trying to move through/get over the fact that my ex cheated and lied so much. He moved out thank god almost a week ago and is already involved with someone else....but our entire relationship he maintained secretive inappropriate female relationships and v...	Fifi	11	2665	Jul 12, 2007 by lin0606
	Even thought he's clean/sober, it's still a challenge (Preview) Hi family, I hope it's okay to call you all that... I am struggling a little with detaching from my AH today. It's hard to get off his back when he is acting so self-absorbed that he doesn't do right by the kids. As a mother, I feel it's my duty to defend them to the hilt... even against their father....	itsgot2bgd	3	414	Jul 12, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Child support court on Friday (Preview) Well, things are moving along smoothly. I think this is the longest run of nothing exciting happening in years and years, maybe ever. I guess I don't have much to say and seems like that's a good thing considering all the other surrounding posts and the chaos. Gosh, I'm glad I don't have much to say. I h...	carolinagirl	8	438	Jul 12, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Humor and Laughter (Preview) Does anyone have any good recovery jokes they want to share? I post my fave about making eggs for the alcoholic once in awhile, but it's getting dated. Here's one I found online, and maybe we can have a few new or good ones thrown around here. Keep smiling! Tom A guy decides to take off work early from w...	canadianguy	8	2297	Jul 12, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	stress relief (Preview) I shared last night with my home group what has been helping me. I have felt so heavy with the weight of life I just wanted to lighten up. But I was sick of lightening up by judging others or myself and trying to laugh at my own misery. I have 3 kids involved and dysfunction is just not funny. So, I have taken t...	serendipity	3	358	Jul 12, 2007 by maresie2
	Setting Back International Relations (Preview) Oh I lost it! Imagine a call center worker on the other side of the world, Shes working through the night, and then she has to take a crowded bus home in the morning to a crowded house and have her family take her wages. She was a star student, learned English and even an American accent for this work. Then s...	Jill	8	572	Jul 12, 2007 by Karilynn
	He just turned up! (Preview) Oh what to do what to do. My mother-in-law just called and said that my AH has turned up. His stepdad just got home from work and my AH was sacked out in his recliner in the living room. His stepdad had stupidly given my AH a key to his house months ago b/c he was staying there when I wouldn't let him come hom...	QOD	10	522	Jul 11, 2007 by twinkie
	He doesn't appreciate anything I do (Preview) Hello again everyone. Thanks to those that responded to my last post. Basically my husband is still not talking to me and I have found it within myself to ignore this, and yes enjoy the silence. When he has spoken to me it is to tell me that he pays this and that in the house and insinuates that I don't pa...	JulieLynn	9	554	Jul 11, 2007 by gknee
	I really need advice (Preview) I have been married for four years. My husband has always been a big drinker, and I was, too, when we met. But then I unexpectantly became pregnant, and all my priorities shifted from being a partying kid to a mom, and I became a person who hates to get drunk so I just don't do it. However, my husband didn't c...	Liza	11	461	Jul 11, 2007 by Liza
	Today is the day (Preview) Today is the court hearing for the restraining order. It has been rescheduled three times. The first hearing (if you remember) the A and I came in without counsel and the judge cancelled and rescheduled, insisting we both GET counsel first. I didn't understand why at first, thought it was pretty c...	Kim65	11	623	Jul 11, 2007 by Kim65
	STEROIDS!!! (Preview) my bf has been clean for 2.5 years, and started steroids 6 months ago? what is everyones opinion on this!!! to me its an old habit,(needles) which im afraid may bring back his old behavior!!!	gligirl	9	642	Jul 11, 2007 by lin0606
	Please Say A Prayer (Preview) I don't like asking for anything; however, I could use some prayers at this time. I haven't seen the A in 7 years. He has no contact with our daughter and does nothing for her. I have been struggling lately because daycare for the summer is more than I can afford-$600 per month. I have asked my boss for a rai...	kissers	14	576	Jul 11, 2007 by mhgal
	Denial, Blame, etc. (Preview) This may get convoluted, so I will try to keep it brief. Yesterday evening I was upstairs folding clothes and my 7-year old daughter and a friend of hers were downstairs with AH. My daughter found a t-shirt online that she wanted to order, but her friend said, "your dad won't let you get that."...	babysteps	10	603	Jul 11, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Just doing a lot of thinking. (Preview) I was typing a response to someone a minute ago and realized I should probably start my own topic b/c my brain is just rolling right now. My AH has been gone for 1 week and 1 day now. No one has heard a word from him. He has no access to money that I know of. There is $47 left in the joint acct that I thought he wo...	QOD	2	425	Jul 11, 2007 by Fifi
	Over reacting to over reacting and the ever corrosive people pleasing. (Preview) i see msyelf so much in this woman I have to deal with that lives in my house. Either she's assailing me to eat food she's cooked in some huge gesture of making food for everyone as soon as I get in the door or she's accusing me of something. Last night I got home and I was busting to go to the bathroo...	maresie2	2	520	Jul 11, 2007 by jewely
	Letting Go (Preview) I had found this a long time ago and came across it again, so I thought I would share... *Learn How To Let Go* Letting go is the key to flowing with life and the key to having life work. At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that t...	kissers	3	571	Jul 11, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	trying not to over react (Preview) at present I am going through a very difficult financial time and have a number of important decisions to make. I am dealing with people who are not particularly bothered that I have no money to pay my bills though I have worked my tail off for the last three months. I am really tired of that but have manage...	maire rua	2	422	Jul 11, 2007 by maresie2
	FINSIHED WITH THIRD STEP? (Preview) I HAVE BEEN DATING A RECOVERING A FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS, ALTHOUGH THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ADDICT, I HAVE 2 COUSINS WHO WERE VERY BIG A'S FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, WHO ALSO JUST FOUND SOBERITY. I HAVE HAD MANY CRAZY AND INSANE RELATIONSHIPS, THOUGH NON...	gligirl	6	1557	Jul 11, 2007 by gligirl
	Uncomfortably Numb-- too detached?? (Preview) My newly sober AH has been out of state for the past week visiting his family. I have been talking to him every day or two and it sounds like he has had a nice time. He attended 2 AA meetings while out there and told his sisters all about his addiction and recovery work. This was huge! Here's the thing-- I...	gknee	5	548	Jul 11, 2007 by ShelBell
	detatchment from controlling people (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me their perspective on my situation. I'm driving myself mad at at the moment. As I get better and pull away from the disease of Aism,I can see the codependancy of my family members more clearly. There is a lot of control trying to go on. But this is commonplace in m...	annmarie	4	585	Jul 11, 2007 by maresie2
	feeling broken (Preview) So, Matt got out of rehab today. He called me, and we were talking, and every time he starts talking about things he had to do or still has to do I start crying. I just can't handle it anymore. He has to live with his grandparents because they feel if he just goes home he'll relapse, which I would expect of mos...	kiddo	7	573	Jul 11, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.