Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Loupiness · Loupiness

Just thought I'd share a funny family moment we had tonight. My AH sober called this evening to see what we had planned. I told him we were going to go swimming at a friend's house and he decided to meet us there and join us. We had a great time and he came back to the house for some blackberry crisp. The older k...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Everyone, I have gone to great lengths to keep our family struggles private for a miriad of reasons - to protect my children, my AH's professional reputation, our privately owned business in this oh so small town (thus our livlihood), and as much as I hate to admit it, my pride. For these reasons, I...

tryingtoheal · tryingtoheal

My AH (we are seperated and I'm starting on divorce papers) was sober for 20 years but started drinking again 2 years ago. I found signs that he was cheating , I know he lied to me and our boys told me that he had to leave for the sake of our family . I found out last week that he has girlfriend, which was so hard....

boo · boo

My older A child is in jail. I've been in a lot of pain since I found out and this is an awakening time for me. My A child is going thru a messy divorce and it was domestic violence and still is that way and there is a small child involved. My A has been drinking and using RX as I know for years and not using t...

bob6502 · bob6502

I have discovered that I have some angels in my life. The last couple weeks I was in a panic. I discovered that I wasn't going to recieve any or very little financial aid for the summer term of college. I was worried about paying bills and buying food, and it was bringing up issues from the past. I ended up d...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. As Maria said I pop in from time to time to keep grounded. Im not as faithful about a daily or even weekly gratitude list as I would like to be, but, this past month leading up to and through my birthday has definitely given me the chance to do so. I have been riding the...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I had a thought today, while I was working out (something I recently started doing again and it feels good)! The thought was more of a realization and a question... Why is it so hard to take care of me? My glasses have been "broken" for almost two weeks now (one of the nose pads broke off) and I ke...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello Friends! I wanted first to check in and let you all know I am still here, and I am basically "OK", if you wanted to know. I am sure my friends have been wondering if I dropped off the face of the earth---NOT YET. I am still living alone, my A still in the same dingy motel, apparently has begun...

QOD · QOD

Hey everyone - We are back from the beach. We had a great time. I have attached a pic of me and the kids at the aquarium. There are a boat load more.....but I figured I'd only atttach one. Our first night got off to a rocky start. Our room we checked into was NASTY!!! There was sand in our sheets, a pillow...

Rora · Rora

I've read on here a few times that just seeing their A-spouse makes them "want to throw up" so to speak. I'm so glad to read this in a way, because I've been dwelling on "what the hell is wrong with me?" for quite some time now. I am currently seperated from my AH of 5 years. We have an a...

nmike · nmike

Hi Friends, When I come here I know that you will understand. As an ACA I always felt different, never felt a part of my family, and never felt loved particularly by my mother. This summer has been spent going thru surgery with my 84 year old mother. She lives two hours away. So I have been going back and for...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

ally · ally

(((((((Guys))))))))))))) Want a laugh...maybe it's just me, but I thought some of these were awesome....Have more that I couldn't put on...lol Love Ally girl

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))), Good morning. I was reading from my daily meditations book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg. 1991 Hazelden The theme of today reading is about attitude. Here's part of that reading Attutudes give birth to themselves. Fresh ideas foster fres...

gardengal · gardengal

Living with an alcoholic we tend to lose ourselves in the tangled web of alcoholism. We are consumed daily by the whereabouts, the actions, the non actions of someone we love, our alcoholic. We obsess , we worry, we fear, we get angry. 24/7 our minds are focussed on the A, and our whole life seems to revol...

Lexie · Lexie

My best friend of 51 years lost her battle with cancer last night. I am so sad and my heart hurts for "me", but I am so happy she is no longer suffering. It's times like this that make me realize that we really can only and should live each day to it's fullest and take "one day at a time&quo...

Maria123 · Maria123

Today is Alamom's Birthday . She still posts and visits the room here and there so wish her a Happy Birthday if you see here. Happy, happy birthday Karen. Eat a lot of Love ya Girl, You aren't getting older (denial ); you are definitely getting better. Maria

maresie2 · maresie2

another member here has very compasssionately challenged me to come up with another plan b. My story is that in March this year I broke off with the A and I separated after a relationship of 7 years. I was incredibly miserable because (a) I feared for him and (b) he had our pets dogs. I did not move to a good s...

cytagirl · cytagirl

When i first learnt to drive , i was terrified , nervous , and after my first lesson i vowed never to sit in the drivers seat again ... i cried my eyes out cause i was useless , and it took a while for it to click .. and when it did , i was fine .. passed my test first time ... and that's how i felt when i found this site...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I am, I really am. It's funny, I was sharing with my daugter today how her father once was telling a friend of his what kind of car I needed, and that I didn't need a stick/straight drive ...so what did I do? I went out and bought a car I couldn't even drive - a stick. God knows I'm hard headed. That was ma...

maresie2 · maresie2

Well I had a good lesson in detachment this week. To recap as you all know I have had a really tumultous relationship with one of my housemates. When I moved in she was very nice to me but at the same time pretty push. She lives with her son who had a terrible accident years ago. He had a major brain injury and i...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Sometimes I feel bad for posting my "woes" because I am very fortunate to not be living with an active alcoholic ~ having said that ~ here is my woe for the moment. I went to my GRE class where they zipped through geometry equations and the like. UGH ~ I nearly got whiplash for as fast as they went...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Since just completing my fear inventory - I wanted to share with the group some of my 'ah-has' - My entire life is motivated by fear. Mostly it is fear of rejection - or more precisely abandonment. Right now - this is my reality = I am very happily married (1 year) to a recovering alcoholic (12 years) I am t...

Heather72 · Heather72

Hi, I am a new member to this group. There are no local meetings in which I can attend, apparently I live in the middle of nowhere. I am so very glad to have found this place. My H has been struggling with alocholism and drug addiction for over 18 years, we have been married for only 6. He was recentl...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I have come to a conclusion. When I have a problem with something or someone it is really a problem within myself. I'm too needy, I'm not patient enough, I'm not persuasive enough, I'm not something....and it may not even be something that someone else really needs rather something that I THINK someo...

kissers · kissers

Our internet connection was down at work for almost 2 days. I had a lot of work to do, so on the 2nd day I drove home to use my internet connection. Meanwhile, I have not been happy with my job or the way I am being treated. There are a lot of games being played and I am getting caught in the middle. Anyway, I was a...

serendipity · serendipity

I wish I could just become an alanon nun. I got a call from an old friend, went on vacation and wouldn't ya know he wants to move in with me. Yes, he's a drunk. Like slurring after 5 pm drunk. I know this is just another lesson to learn. More of what I do, say, expect. How I am attracted to these really screwed u...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Okay, I was feeling pretty serene tonight. Then my hubby and I were doing a Yahoo Messenger IM with a friend that lives in another state - He didn't feel like typing so we agreed that I would type (I type much faster than he does) and I would type what he wanted to say and what I wanted to say. The problem was th...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

This really made sense when I read it in this book and thought it might hit a cord with a few of us: To the degree we know that we have something to do with what happens to us. we gain authority, influence, and control over our lives. We see that by changing our attitudes and actions, we can change what happen...

babysteps · babysteps

I walk three miles every morning. I get up at 6am, drink some coffee and read the paper, then hit the road with my i-pod. It is my time. This morning I couldn't stop crying for most of the way. Two years ago this month my AH went to rehab. He left the day after our daughter's 5th birthday. He relapsed 5 days aft...

Anakasha · Anakasha

Not sure if I am at the right place, But I am maybe just needing some advice. I am hoping there is something I can do to help. I have been married for almost 20 years. We were married when I was 18 and he was 21. About a year ago he started drinking alot more then ususal. Before it was a six pack on the weeke...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference And - God - Grant me the courage and the strength to have full faith in your power and your plan. Help me to hear see and feel your message so that I may better serve your will...

Fifi · Fifi

So an odd moment last night or rather this morning I thank my higher power for. At 2:45 am my phone rings...I startle awake. I see in caller ID it is my exA...out of the house 2 weeks...I have no idea where he is...we have spoken briefly and nicely a few times about practical matters. I have been suff...

Kim65 · Kim65

Yesterday the restraining order was finally processed and accepted by the judge. It is for one year (!!) and in the paperwork the A can come out ONCE with a law officer to get the rest of his belongings. His lawyer also filed that lawsuit about splitting the property assets yesterday. In it the A deman...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Writing (journaling and writing poetry) saved my life (and continues to do so)... I thought I'd share these two poems on the subject of fear and letting go Living In Fear It's like being at the top of the very highest roller coaster and you're about to drop... Heart racing Breath quickened Every muscle...

mistyk · mistyk

my fiance left today for rehab. he went to a facility in fl for 30 days. he made the choice on his own and arranged everything. i just miss him really bad. this is the first time we have ever been apart. however i know its the best thing for him and for us. just heart broken and i know he is struggling too....

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello MIP Friends))) These last three days have been exhausting for us. One of my aunt's passed away on Saturday night. I was taking some time out from my AH and had been visiting with my mother and Sunday morning we got the call that she had died. We all had expected it as she had sufferred for a long...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, What better place to find ESH. I have been so overwhelmed this summer with my mom's surgery and my son's undiagnosed illness. Well, to make a long story short, I have spent alot of time with my family of origin. Many things have come up but mom is doing better. My sister from out of town impli...

petal · petal

Hi Everyone, I am new here and firstly I am just so delighted to have come across your board. Tonight my heart is heavy almost breaking. Whilst My husband of 30 years lies snoring in a drunken stupor on the settee downstairs... I can remember a week ago when he promised me he would stop, and he did until t...

dollface · dollface

I'm not sure how this is going to come out. My husband is an alcoholic and has been sober for 5 days. He is an extremely determined person, whose fault is to give 110% at everything he does. That included his drinking. What started as a way for us to add some fun to already fun activities spiraled out of...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

We usu. call this "martyrdom," "self-victimization," or "manipulative deviance" "He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me." Those who think such things will not be free from hate. -Buddha

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

When I first came into the program it was hard enough realizing that I had to make amends. Huh? You mean, I grew up in an alcholic family, was abused and so on and so forth.... I think to myself, yeah, I'll make amends as soon as I get MINE!! :::holding hand out:: ::tapping foot:: ::hand on hip::: ME? make am...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Well we talked the next day. He had to work late, wanted to know if I would come to his job site to pick up check after I got off work, Well when I got there rain had sent him home, he needed to talk to me any how.would I come out there. I wasn't real thrilled but knew if I didn't I wouldn't get the check. So I went....

browneyes92563 · browneyes92563

Hi everyone, Today is the first day I have visited this site and was referred to it through a book I have been reading. I am glad to be here and have all hopes that I have found a place to learn, grow and have an outlet. I have a 21 year old son who is an alcoholic. He lives with my fiance and I along with my fiance...

libddy · libddy

First time here, am wondering how you get a f2f group to do either one of these. I have been going to my f2f for 3 yrs and have done neither. The group is not doing so well, I chaired a meeting on the topic of group conscience and found that only 2 out of the 8 people there new what is was or what it looked like, I w...

Rita G · Rita G

Continuing my share from last week, my granddaughter was having a much better day on Saturday. She got to wear her favorite outfit & she was also able to go to ReeRee's Saturday meeting Ok - I'm going to try to attach the pictures - hopefully it will work. I had a good weekend visiting with several...

roygbiv · roygbiv

Blehhh... My sister came over to the house to go through our late mom's things and we started talking. I've avoided saying anything to her about her son for a couple years even though I can see I'll be going to his memorial one of these days. The last time I spoke to her about him was years ago and I didn'...

Kim65 · Kim65

This has been a mental theme lately, I think I'm just beginning to 'get it', what it means to love myself, be kind to myself, look out for myself. Before now it never occurred to me to do the things for myself that I automatically do for others to create comfort or safety. Somehow (I did grow up in an alcohol...

twinkie · twinkie

I have some huge life changing decisions to make and my tendency in the past is to get so overwhelmed and indecisive. I know my HP will guide me and I've been praying for that though sometimes I miss the signs....I want to see the big neon that says, "You Should Do X" I know he's much more subt...

Kim65 · Kim65

Last week I got a summons for the A from another county for an arraignment (he was pulled over and busted for having meth on him). I told the deputy sheriff I had this item, and asked what I should do with it. The ex parte (restraining order) prevents either of us from contacting the other. The sheriff sa...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Well he didn't come over or call. I worried all day and got sidetrack at work and obsessed all for nothing. Now I just wonder when I will hear from him again. I'm tired of calling and asking for my money. I've told him I don't like calling him and reminding him every month. But it has also made me realize t...

Fifi · Fifi

So since my A boyfriend moved out, I am struggling so much with the emotions and thoughts around our relationship. I find myself feeling so angry at all the hurt he caused me and I can often fall into the victim role....he took advantage of me and my home and my kids and my money and my kindness and my patien...

Becky1 · Becky1

We have been getting along well for the past week and a half, since I came back from my week away at my Mom's for vacation. Last night, we were talking about dinner, decided what to have. I started the potatoes in the oven, and we both went out on the deck to string fresh green beans his mom had brought over....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have found the best thing for me in this program is my new ability to stand back and do nothing. I never thought I could do it but here it has been almost a year since I moved out and I find the more I stand back and observe, the more interesting it gets. I would never have thought that all of the things that h...

mandalynn38 · mandalynn38

Hi Everyone, I am glad to be back reading the boards, also working on the steps. I have gotten thru steps 1 thru almost 3...... going to f2f meeting once a week. My AB is in rehab for 3 months. I have came a long way and I pray that god is with the A to give him the strength he needs to live a sober life One Day At A Ti...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My mother has done a ton of things that would make you shake your heads in total disbelief. So here's the last epidsode of her craziness. My brother who is a heroin addict (pain killers as well) was living with her. She let him stay for the money he was giving her $1000's a month. Her mortgage is only $400 an...

rita m · rita m

Hello, I am so happy that someone in my homegroup suggested this site to me. I missed my favorite meeting tonight because I had to work late. I have enjoyed reading the posts on here! Yesterday was a difficult day with my A. What a difference a day makes! We went to his company picnic, he was totally stress...

Chetch · Chetch

My husband has been sober for over a week now. He's gotten over the "shakes" and is seeming to be a bit like his old self. I can see glimmers of the man I fell in love with. He even worked all day yesterday and we had a nice peaceful evening at home last night. I know it won't last and am quitely sa...

nursedebbiepink · nursedebbiepink

hi folks, my dh started drinking again last night. do i say anything or just go about my business like everything is alright?

Nedsaid · Nedsaid

I'm new and feeling alone. Married to a functional alcoholic. I've recognized the fact for years but haven't acted on it. I truly love my husband but only his co-workers see his wonderful sober side. I'm tired of being by myself all the time because the drunkman is busy with his true love. I work pa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Everybody Must Get Stoned... (Preview) Just thought I'd share a funny family moment we had tonight. My AH sober called this evening to see what we had planned. I told him we were going to go swimming at a friend's house and he decided to meet us there and join us. We had a great time and he came back to the house for some blackberry crisp. The older k...	Loupiness	2	388	Jul 23, 2007 by QOD
	Anomynity (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have gone to great lengths to keep our family struggles private for a miriad of reasons - to protect my children, my AH's professional reputation, our privately owned business in this oh so small town (thus our livlihood), and as much as I hate to admit it, my pride. For these reasons, I...	Loupiness	4	473	Jul 23, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way... (Preview) My AH (we are seperated and I'm starting on divorce papers) was sober for 20 years but started drinking again 2 years ago. I found signs that he was cheating , I know he lied to me and our boys told me that he had to leave for the sake of our family . I found out last week that he has girlfriend, which was so hard....	tryingtoheal	10	696	Jul 23, 2007 by canadianguy
	Gaining Me Back (Preview) My older A child is in jail. I've been in a lot of pain since I found out and this is an awakening time for me. My A child is going thru a messy divorce and it was domestic violence and still is that way and there is a small child involved. My A has been drinking and using RX as I know for years and not using t...	boo	4	565	Jul 23, 2007 by boo
	Gratitude (Preview) I have discovered that I have some angels in my life. The last couple weeks I was in a panic. I discovered that I wasn't going to recieve any or very little financial aid for the summer term of college. I was worried about paying bills and buying food, and it was bringing up issues from the past. I ended up d...	bob6502	6	509	Jul 23, 2007 by gardengal
	Gratitude List... (Preview) Thank you all for the birthday wishes. As Maria said I pop in from time to time to keep grounded. Im not as faithful about a daily or even weekly gratitude list as I would like to be, but, this past month leading up to and through my birthday has definitely given me the chance to do so. I have been riding the...	AlaMom	2	300	Jul 23, 2007 by danz123
	Taking care of me? (Preview) I had a thought today, while I was working out (something I recently started doing again and it feels good)! The thought was more of a realization and a question... Why is it so hard to take care of me? My glasses have been "broken" for almost two weeks now (one of the nose pads broke off) and I ke...	Positivelydee	3	409	Jul 23, 2007 by annmarie
	Been away for some time--need prayers, ESH (Preview) Hello Friends! I wanted first to check in and let you all know I am still here, and I am basically "OK", if you wanted to know. I am sure my friends have been wondering if I dropped off the face of the earth---NOT YET. I am still living alone, my A still in the same dingy motel, apparently has begun...	hippietrippiechick	4	578	Jul 22, 2007 by Kim65
	Back from the Beach!! (Preview) Hey everyone - We are back from the beach. We had a great time. I have attached a pic of me and the kids at the aquarium. There are a boat load more.....but I figured I'd only atttach one. Our first night got off to a rocky start. Our room we checked into was NASTY!!! There was sand in our sheets, a pillow...	QOD	4	271	Jul 22, 2007 by Leetle
	When the sight of him makes a bad mood inevitable.... (Preview) I've read on here a few times that just seeing their A-spouse makes them "want to throw up" so to speak. I'm so glad to read this in a way, because I've been dwelling on "what the hell is wrong with me?" for quite some time now. I am currently seperated from my AH of 5 years. We have an a...	Rora	4	611	Jul 22, 2007 by Kim65
	Always feeling different (Preview) Hi Friends, When I come here I know that you will understand. As an ACA I always felt different, never felt a part of my family, and never felt loved particularly by my mother. This summer has been spent going thru surgery with my 84 year old mother. She lives two hours away. So I have been going back and for...	nmike	3	368	Jul 22, 2007 by Leetle
	Humbling prospective on comparing insides to outsides... (Preview)	Tiger2006	0	321	Jul 22, 2007 by Tiger2006
	THIS WILL MAKE YOU SMILE (Preview) (((((((Guys))))))))))))) Want a laugh...maybe it's just me, but I thought some of these were awesome....Have more that I couldn't put on...lol Love Ally girl	ally	6	468	Jul 22, 2007 by NCC1701
	Attitude (Preview) ((((((Family))))), Good morning. I was reading from my daily meditations book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg. 1991 Hazelden The theme of today reading is about attitude. Here's part of that reading Attutudes give birth to themselves. Fresh ideas foster fres...	Karilynn	1	316	Jul 22, 2007 by lin0606
	Are you as good to yourself as you would be for someone you care for? (Preview) Living with an alcoholic we tend to lose ourselves in the tangled web of alcoholism. We are consumed daily by the whereabouts, the actions, the non actions of someone we love, our alcoholic. We obsess , we worry, we fear, we get angry. 24/7 our minds are focussed on the A, and our whole life seems to revol...	gardengal	3	407	Jul 22, 2007 by weggie
	just need to talk to my friends (Preview) My best friend of 51 years lost her battle with cancer last night. I am so sad and my heart hurts for "me", but I am so happy she is no longer suffering. It's times like this that make me realize that we really can only and should live each day to it's fullest and take "one day at a time&quo...	Lexie	10	574	Jul 22, 2007 by ally
	An Oletimer Is the Birthday Girl (Preview) Today is Alamom's Birthday . She still posts and visits the room here and there so wish her a Happy Birthday if you see here. Happy, happy birthday Karen. Eat a lot of Love ya Girl, You aren't getting older (denial ); you are definitely getting better. Maria	Maria123	16	580	Jul 21, 2007 by tea2
	comning up with another plan b (Preview) another member here has very compasssionately challenged me to come up with another plan b. My story is that in March this year I broke off with the A and I separated after a relationship of 7 years. I was incredibly miserable because (a) I feared for him and (b) he had our pets dogs. I did not move to a good s...	maresie2	10	625	Jul 21, 2007 by TLC2
	thankyou al-anon.. (Preview) When i first learnt to drive , i was terrified , nervous , and after my first lesson i vowed never to sit in the drivers seat again ... i cried my eyes out cause i was useless , and it took a while for it to click .. and when it did , i was fine .. passed my test first time ... and that's how i felt when i found this site...	cytagirl	3	304	Jul 21, 2007 by Friendofyours
	So hard headed..... (Preview) I am, I really am. It's funny, I was sharing with my daugter today how her father once was telling a friend of his what kind of car I needed, and that I didn't need a stick/straight drive ...so what did I do? I went out and bought a car I couldn't even drive - a stick. God knows I'm hard headed. That was ma...	Lunamoth	5	587	Jul 21, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Detachment (Preview) Well I had a good lesson in detachment this week. To recap as you all know I have had a really tumultous relationship with one of my housemates. When I moved in she was very nice to me but at the same time pretty push. She lives with her son who had a terrible accident years ago. He had a major brain injury and i...	maresie2	4	449	Jul 21, 2007 by TLC2
	Angst (Preview) Sometimes I feel bad for posting my "woes" because I am very fortunate to not be living with an active alcoholic ~ having said that ~ here is my woe for the moment. I went to my GRE class where they zipped through geometry equations and the like. UGH ~ I nearly got whiplash for as fast as they went...	Positivelydee	1	390	Jul 21, 2007 by Kim65
	Letting Go (Preview) Since just completing my fear inventory - I wanted to share with the group some of my 'ah-has' - My entire life is motivated by fear. Mostly it is fear of rejection - or more precisely abandonment. Right now - this is my reality = I am very happily married (1 year) to a recovering alcoholic (12 years) I am t...	Positivelydee	3	440	Jul 21, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Thirteen days thirteen hours in jail (Preview) Hi, I am a new member to this group. There are no local meetings in which I can attend, apparently I live in the middle of nowhere. I am so very glad to have found this place. My H has been struggling with alocholism and drug addiction for over 18 years, we have been married for only 6. He was recentl...	Heather72	7	500	Jul 21, 2007 by Heather72
	Acceptance (Preview) I have come to a conclusion. When I have a problem with something or someone it is really a problem within myself. I'm too needy, I'm not patient enough, I'm not persuasive enough, I'm not something....and it may not even be something that someone else really needs rather something that I THINK someo...	seekingserenity	5	542	Jul 21, 2007 by babysteps
	Anger slipping out (Preview) Our internet connection was down at work for almost 2 days. I had a lot of work to do, so on the 2nd day I drove home to use my internet connection. Meanwhile, I have not been happy with my job or the way I am being treated. There are a lot of games being played and I am getting caught in the middle. Anyway, I was a...	kissers	1	367	Jul 21, 2007 by nmike
	Alanon convent (Preview) I wish I could just become an alanon nun. I got a call from an old friend, went on vacation and wouldn't ya know he wants to move in with me. Yes, he's a drunk. Like slurring after 5 pm drunk. I know this is just another lesson to learn. More of what I do, say, expect. How I am attracted to these really screwed u...	serendipity	7	670	Jul 21, 2007 by Jamekaticy
	It happens just like that! (Preview) Okay, I was feeling pretty serene tonight. Then my hubby and I were doing a Yahoo Messenger IM with a friend that lives in another state - He didn't feel like typing so we agreed that I would type (I type much faster than he does) and I would type what he wanted to say and what I wanted to say. The problem was th...	Positivelydee	4	576	Jul 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	Accountability.....I learned from this (sharing) (Preview) This really made sense when I read it in this book and thought it might hit a cord with a few of us: To the degree we know that we have something to do with what happens to us. we gain authority, influence, and control over our lives. We see that by changing our attitudes and actions, we can change what happen...	Friendofyours	1	422	Jul 20, 2007 by Positivelydee
	Struggling to Let Go and Let God (Preview) I walk three miles every morning. I get up at 6am, drink some coffee and read the paper, then hit the road with my i-pod. It is my time. This morning I couldn't stop crying for most of the way. Two years ago this month my AH went to rehab. He left the day after our daughter's 5th birthday. He relapsed 5 days aft...	babysteps	5	570	Jul 20, 2007 by twinkie
	Needing some advice - Help (Preview) Not sure if I am at the right place, But I am maybe just needing some advice. I am hoping there is something I can do to help. I have been married for almost 20 years. We were married when I was 18 and he was 21. About a year ago he started drinking alot more then ususal. Before it was a six pack on the weeke...	Anakasha	7	585	Jul 20, 2007 by shimo
	Serenity Prayer twist (Preview) Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference And - God - Grant me the courage and the strength to have full faith in your power and your plan. Help me to hear see and feel your message so that I may better serve your will...	Positivelydee	1	503	Jul 20, 2007 by shimo
	HP....painfull and freeing (Preview) So an odd moment last night or rather this morning I thank my higher power for. At 2:45 am my phone rings...I startle awake. I see in caller ID it is my exA...out of the house 2 weeks...I have no idea where he is...we have spoken briefly and nicely a few times about practical matters. I have been suff...	Fifi	7	614	Jul 20, 2007 by Fifi
	Finally! (Preview) Yesterday the restraining order was finally processed and accepted by the judge. It is for one year (!!) and in the paperwork the A can come out ONCE with a law officer to get the rest of his belongings. His lawyer also filed that lawsuit about splitting the property assets yesterday. In it the A deman...	Kim65	12	645	Jul 20, 2007 by Kim65
	Letting Go PART II (Preview) Writing (journaling and writing poetry) saved my life (and continues to do so)... I thought I'd share these two poems on the subject of fear and letting go Living In Fear It's like being at the top of the very highest roller coaster and you're about to drop... Heart racing Breath quickened Every muscle...	Positivelydee	1	334	Jul 20, 2007 by Baffled
	please give me words of encouragement (Preview) my fiance left today for rehab. he went to a facility in fl for 30 days. he made the choice on his own and arranged everything. i just miss him really bad. this is the first time we have ever been apart. however i know its the best thing for him and for us. just heart broken and i know he is struggling too....	mistyk	14	3961	Jul 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	Bitter sweet pains of grief/loss (Preview) (((Hello MIP Friends))) These last three days have been exhausting for us. One of my aunt's passed away on Saturday night. I was taking some time out from my AH and had been visiting with my mother and Sunday morning we got the call that she had died. We all had expected it as she had sufferred for a long...	twinmom2	10	580	Jul 20, 2007 by twinmom2
	Alanoners who drink? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, What better place to find ESH. I have been so overwhelmed this summer with my mom's surgery and my son's undiagnosed illness. Well, to make a long story short, I have spent alot of time with my family of origin. Many things have come up but mom is doing better. My sister from out of town impli...	nmike	18	1690	Jul 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	Broken Promises and Shattered Dreams (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new here and firstly I am just so delighted to have come across your board. Tonight my heart is heavy almost breaking. Whilst My husband of 30 years lies snoring in a drunken stupor on the settee downstairs... I can remember a week ago when he promised me he would stop, and he did until t...	petal	9	537	Jul 20, 2007 by petal
	Is Al-Anon for me? (Preview) I'm not sure how this is going to come out. My husband is an alcoholic and has been sober for 5 days. He is an extremely determined person, whose fault is to give 110% at everything he does. That included his drinking. What started as a way for us to add some fun to already fun activities spiraled out of...	dollface	11	639	Jul 20, 2007 by gaelle
	Buddist thought for the day (Preview) We usu. call this "martyrdom," "self-victimization," or "manipulative deviance" "He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me." Those who think such things will not be free from hate. -Buddha	Tiger2006	2	2337	Jul 19, 2007 by Ria
	Sorry to myself (Preview) When I first came into the program it was hard enough realizing that I had to make amends. Huh? You mean, I grew up in an alcholic family, was abused and so on and so forth.... I think to myself, yeah, I'll make amends as soon as I get MINE!! :::holding hand out:: ::tapping foot:: ::hand on hip::: ME? make am...	Positivelydee	8	788	Jul 19, 2007 by Ria
	Update on No Show! (Preview) Well we talked the next day. He had to work late, wanted to know if I would come to his job site to pick up check after I got off work, Well when I got there rain had sent him home, he needed to talk to me any how.would I come out there. I wasn't real thrilled but knew if I didn't I wouldn't get the check. So I went....	sisdragonfly1957	4	444	Jul 19, 2007 by Friendofyours
	My Child (Preview) Hi everyone, Today is the first day I have visited this site and was referred to it through a book I have been reading. I am glad to be here and have all hopes that I have found a place to learn, grow and have an outlet. I have a 21 year old son who is an alcoholic. He lives with my fiance and I along with my fiance...	browneyes92563	4	684	Jul 19, 2007 by carolena
	group conscience/ group inventory (Preview) First time here, am wondering how you get a f2f group to do either one of these. I have been going to my f2f for 3 yrs and have done neither. The group is not doing so well, I chaired a meeting on the topic of group conscience and found that only 2 out of the 8 people there new what is was or what it looked like, I w...	libddy	5	8810	Jul 19, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	It's a good day, ReeRee (Preview) Continuing my share from last week, my granddaughter was having a much better day on Saturday. She got to wear her favorite outfit & she was also able to go to ReeRee's Saturday meeting Ok - I'm going to try to attach the pictures - hopefully it will work. I had a good weekend visiting with several...	Rita G	4	418	Jul 19, 2007 by twinmom2
	I've done it now (Preview) Blehhh... My sister came over to the house to go through our late mom's things and we started talking. I've avoided saying anything to her about her son for a couple years even though I can see I'll be going to his memorial one of these days. The last time I spoke to her about him was years ago and I didn'...	roygbiv	4	614	Jul 19, 2007 by roygbiv
	Kindness to one's self (Preview) This has been a mental theme lately, I think I'm just beginning to 'get it', what it means to love myself, be kind to myself, look out for myself. Before now it never occurred to me to do the things for myself that I automatically do for others to create comfort or safety. Somehow (I did grow up in an alcohol...	Kim65	5	692	Jul 18, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Indecisiveness - Need guidance (Preview) I have some huge life changing decisions to make and my tendency in the past is to get so overwhelmed and indecisive. I know my HP will guide me and I've been praying for that though sometimes I miss the signs....I want to see the big neon that says, "You Should Do X" I know he's much more subt...	twinkie	4	660	Jul 18, 2007 by Rita G
	Reality check please! (Preview) Last week I got a summons for the A from another county for an arraignment (he was pulled over and busted for having meth on him). I told the deputy sheriff I had this item, and asked what I should do with it. The ex parte (restraining order) prevents either of us from contacting the other. The sheriff sa...	Kim65	16	762	Jul 18, 2007 by maresie2
	Well He Was A No Show! (Preview) Well he didn't come over or call. I worried all day and got sidetrack at work and obsessed all for nothing. Now I just wonder when I will hear from him again. I'm tired of calling and asking for my money. I've told him I don't like calling him and reminding him every month. But it has also made me realize t...	sisdragonfly1957	2	372	Jul 18, 2007 by maresie2
	not a victim (Preview) So since my A boyfriend moved out, I am struggling so much with the emotions and thoughts around our relationship. I find myself feeling so angry at all the hurt he caused me and I can often fall into the victim role....he took advantage of me and my home and my kids and my money and my kindness and my patien...	Fifi	5	999	Jul 18, 2007 by ally
	Latest Letter from my AH (Preview) We have been getting along well for the past week and a half, since I came back from my week away at my Mom's for vacation. Last night, we were talking about dinner, decided what to have. I started the potatoes in the oven, and we both went out on the deck to string fresh green beans his mom had brought over....	Becky1	9	634	Jul 18, 2007 by ally
	Isn't it interesting when you just stand back and do nothing? (Preview) I have found the best thing for me in this program is my new ability to stand back and do nothing. I never thought I could do it but here it has been almost a year since I moved out and I find the more I stand back and observe, the more interesting it gets. I would never have thought that all of the things that h...	carolinagirl	7	547	Jul 18, 2007 by Rita G
	Changes (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am glad to be back reading the boards, also working on the steps. I have gotten thru steps 1 thru almost 3...... going to f2f meeting once a week. My AB is in rehab for 3 months. I have came a long way and I pray that god is with the A to give him the strength he needs to live a sober life One Day At A Ti...	mandalynn38	1	499	Jul 18, 2007 by SLS
	My mother has hit an all time low in my eyes. (Preview) My mother has done a ton of things that would make you shake your heads in total disbelief. So here's the last epidsode of her craziness. My brother who is a heroin addict (pain killers as well) was living with her. She let him stay for the money he was giving her $1000's a month. Her mortgage is only $400 an...	Friendofyours	9	565	Jul 17, 2007 by Diva
	glad I found this board. (Preview) Hello, I am so happy that someone in my homegroup suggested this site to me. I missed my favorite meeting tonight because I had to work late. I have enjoyed reading the posts on here! Yesterday was a difficult day with my A. What a difference a day makes! We went to his company picnic, he was totally stress...	rita m	4	509	Jul 17, 2007 by maresie2
	He's been sober for over a week. (Preview) My husband has been sober for over a week now. He's gotten over the "shakes" and is seeming to be a bit like his old self. I can see glimmers of the man I fell in love with. He even worked all day yesterday and we had a nice peaceful evening at home last night. I know it won't last and am quitely sa...	Chetch	6	599	Jul 17, 2007 by maresie2
	he started drinking again. do i say anything? (Preview) hi folks, my dh started drinking again last night. do i say anything or just go about my business like everything is alright?	nursedebbiepink	6	830	Jul 17, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I'm here (Preview) I'm new and feeling alone. Married to a functional alcoholic. I've recognized the fact for years but haven't acted on it. I truly love my husband but only his co-workers see his wonderful sober side. I'm tired of being by myself all the time because the drunkman is busy with his true love. I work pa...	Nedsaid	6	451	Jul 17, 2007 by Nedsaid
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.