Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

QOD · QOD

Now that I am back from my vacation, I am having to work on my boundries BIG TIME. My AH is trying to work his way back in. I refuse to let it happen though. For example: He came over Saturday afternoon when we got home to visit with the kids. I was bustling around the house trying to get it clean and put va...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I have shared before about the guilt tripping and manipulation my grandmother pulls. Well, she tried again and I used the tools of the program. She came knocking on my door this evening. She knew she was wrong and there was no need for me to point it out to her. I am not her HP. It was so nice not t...

Leetle · Leetle

I am trying to deal with how my decisions are affecting my daughter. I recently started going to counseling with my qualifier (her father). Once we decided this, he moved back in. That lasted about a week before I felt my boundaries were being stepped all over and I told him that I didn't think we shou...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I was reading, for about the hundredth time here, another derogatory comment towards "cookie cutter" responses. I get tired of the insinuation that somehow those who feel they have the strength and/or knowledge to tell others what they should or should not be doing are better than th...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

sometimes I get stuck in a time warp. I forget that what others say, think, or do doesn't HAVE to affect me unless I let it. I have control over my mood, my circumstances, how I let people treat me, the actions I take to assume responsibility for my life, whereas I didn't have that control when I was a child....

serendipity · serendipity

My "cousin" ( my parent's goddaughter who is my age and I grew up with as the only family) told me via email today that she has intentionally cut ties with me and my kids because she feels that I was not there for her while she had been having problems with her 16 yr. old daughter. I was shocked, h...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I've spoke with ah a few times today and he never said Happy Anniversary. Even though it really means nothing to me at this point I just wondered if he'd even make that a priority. Nope. Seven years today. Is it wierd to not feel married? The distance between us (four hours) and him not showing up for three...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) Today AH has 90 days sobriety. We have had 90 days before, but I will say this 90 days looks different than the other's. We are both working recovery programs today; which is much different than before. I feel like I have grown alot in these past 3 months. I've had to process through...

mstrixe2 · mstrixe2

I find myself in the situation where my husband is fast approaching his year anniversery of sobriety. Me, on the other hand have spent the past year having a affair,smoking alot of weed, being angry at him and just not knowing what to do with myself. Where do I even start to recover? and where can I find th...

gaelle · gaelle

It was agreed the kids would sleep to their father (now, next door neighbour) for the weekend and I thought it was the right time to repaint their bedroom. The kids helped me all day and after dinner time, they went to their father all happy of spending the night there and excited about their 'new' bedroo...

canadianguy · canadianguy

In a reflective mood today..... sitting here, some five years after ending my marriage to my A-wife after ten years..... She has recently received her 5-year sobriety cake, and life carries on.... We certainly aren't friendly, as our relationship is best described as "strained", as...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

We survived Saturday's dinner with my Brother-in-law. It was --geeze I'm not sure what it was. Sat. my Ah was suppose to stop by to help with the weedeating around the house, he'd been saying that he was going to stop by for a month so I wasn't really banking on it only the odds were better since he knew hi...

lmt123 · lmt123

I found this on an AA website, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to mention other sites here, so I won't. If anyone knows if I'm allowed to, please drop me a line and I'll post the website. I really found this to be applicable to anyone, whether or not in AA or Alanon. If a dog was your teacher, you would learn:...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I know for alot of our members--at least the new ones--boundries are a confusing concept. My buddist sponsor called'em "psycho babble with bubbles for substance." But one thing she & I agreed on is that saying no, then keeping with it is a powerful action. It's choosing what to keep...

Rora · Rora

I am very early in my journey.....Still...LOL My Ah and I have been living apart for nearly one month. We've been married 5 years. We've had many seperations in the past as well. We've been having regular contact, being as we have a 3yr old awesome boy together! That's complicated. I would very much...

lilms · lilms

(((((Mip Family))))) Got this in my in-box and had to send it on. I can just picture this happening. Hope it brings a smile lilms The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is th...

Chetch · Chetch

I really lost it with my AH on Friday. I had had a same day surgery procedure, which he took me to, and I slept all day on the couch recovering. When I woke up I went to the fridge to get some iced tea and what do I find but a bottle of vodka. He had promised me two weeks ago that he was quitting and would never br...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

It must be almost 2 months since I've had time to read the posts on this board, let alone update you all on my situation with my ex A b/f My relationship with my ex has been (this may sound corny) SPECTACULAR!! As you may remember, I decided to set some rules in our relationship and those "rules"...

janey225 · janey225

I haven't been on here in a while. But I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. My AH went into an inpatient alcohol rehab place on thursday. He will be there for a minimum of21 days. He made the decision to go. He called and got the insurance information to see if they would pay. Then he cal...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I haven't been thinking too much about alanonfor a few weeks or more. I guess I just got tired of things not changing, me not changing. Another member of my AH's family died from alcohol, this one was younger then him. Her story was so paralell to his, I thought he had to think about it a little bit. but no, h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Just thought I'd share a funny family moment we had tonight. My AH sober called this evening to see what we had planned. I told him we were going to go swimming at a friend's house and he decided to meet us there and join us. We had a great time and he came back to the house for some blackberry crisp. The older k...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Everyone, I have gone to great lengths to keep our family struggles private for a miriad of reasons - to protect my children, my AH's professional reputation, our privately owned business in this oh so small town (thus our livlihood), and as much as I hate to admit it, my pride. For these reasons, I...

tryingtoheal · tryingtoheal

My AH (we are seperated and I'm starting on divorce papers) was sober for 20 years but started drinking again 2 years ago. I found signs that he was cheating , I know he lied to me and our boys told me that he had to leave for the sake of our family . I found out last week that he has girlfriend, which was so hard....

boo · boo

My older A child is in jail. I've been in a lot of pain since I found out and this is an awakening time for me. My A child is going thru a messy divorce and it was domestic violence and still is that way and there is a small child involved. My A has been drinking and using RX as I know for years and not using t...

bob6502 · bob6502

I have discovered that I have some angels in my life. The last couple weeks I was in a panic. I discovered that I wasn't going to recieve any or very little financial aid for the summer term of college. I was worried about paying bills and buying food, and it was bringing up issues from the past. I ended up d...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. As Maria said I pop in from time to time to keep grounded. Im not as faithful about a daily or even weekly gratitude list as I would like to be, but, this past month leading up to and through my birthday has definitely given me the chance to do so. I have been riding the...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I had a thought today, while I was working out (something I recently started doing again and it feels good)! The thought was more of a realization and a question... Why is it so hard to take care of me? My glasses have been "broken" for almost two weeks now (one of the nose pads broke off) and I ke...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello Friends! I wanted first to check in and let you all know I am still here, and I am basically "OK", if you wanted to know. I am sure my friends have been wondering if I dropped off the face of the earth---NOT YET. I am still living alone, my A still in the same dingy motel, apparently has begun...

QOD · QOD

Hey everyone - We are back from the beach. We had a great time. I have attached a pic of me and the kids at the aquarium. There are a boat load more.....but I figured I'd only atttach one. Our first night got off to a rocky start. Our room we checked into was NASTY!!! There was sand in our sheets, a pillow...

Rora · Rora

I've read on here a few times that just seeing their A-spouse makes them "want to throw up" so to speak. I'm so glad to read this in a way, because I've been dwelling on "what the hell is wrong with me?" for quite some time now. I am currently seperated from my AH of 5 years. We have an a...

nmike · nmike

Hi Friends, When I come here I know that you will understand. As an ACA I always felt different, never felt a part of my family, and never felt loved particularly by my mother. This summer has been spent going thru surgery with my 84 year old mother. She lives two hours away. So I have been going back and for...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

ally · ally

(((((((Guys))))))))))))) Want a laugh...maybe it's just me, but I thought some of these were awesome....Have more that I couldn't put on...lol Love Ally girl

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))), Good morning. I was reading from my daily meditations book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg. 1991 Hazelden The theme of today reading is about attitude. Here's part of that reading Attutudes give birth to themselves. Fresh ideas foster fres...

gardengal · gardengal

Living with an alcoholic we tend to lose ourselves in the tangled web of alcoholism. We are consumed daily by the whereabouts, the actions, the non actions of someone we love, our alcoholic. We obsess , we worry, we fear, we get angry. 24/7 our minds are focussed on the A, and our whole life seems to revol...

Lexie · Lexie

My best friend of 51 years lost her battle with cancer last night. I am so sad and my heart hurts for "me", but I am so happy she is no longer suffering. It's times like this that make me realize that we really can only and should live each day to it's fullest and take "one day at a time&quo...

Maria123 · Maria123

Today is Alamom's Birthday . She still posts and visits the room here and there so wish her a Happy Birthday if you see here. Happy, happy birthday Karen. Eat a lot of Love ya Girl, You aren't getting older (denial ); you are definitely getting better. Maria

maresie2 · maresie2

another member here has very compasssionately challenged me to come up with another plan b. My story is that in March this year I broke off with the A and I separated after a relationship of 7 years. I was incredibly miserable because (a) I feared for him and (b) he had our pets dogs. I did not move to a good s...

cytagirl · cytagirl

When i first learnt to drive , i was terrified , nervous , and after my first lesson i vowed never to sit in the drivers seat again ... i cried my eyes out cause i was useless , and it took a while for it to click .. and when it did , i was fine .. passed my test first time ... and that's how i felt when i found this site...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I am, I really am. It's funny, I was sharing with my daugter today how her father once was telling a friend of his what kind of car I needed, and that I didn't need a stick/straight drive ...so what did I do? I went out and bought a car I couldn't even drive - a stick. God knows I'm hard headed. That was ma...

maresie2 · maresie2

Well I had a good lesson in detachment this week. To recap as you all know I have had a really tumultous relationship with one of my housemates. When I moved in she was very nice to me but at the same time pretty push. She lives with her son who had a terrible accident years ago. He had a major brain injury and i...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Sometimes I feel bad for posting my "woes" because I am very fortunate to not be living with an active alcoholic ~ having said that ~ here is my woe for the moment. I went to my GRE class where they zipped through geometry equations and the like. UGH ~ I nearly got whiplash for as fast as they went...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Since just completing my fear inventory - I wanted to share with the group some of my 'ah-has' - My entire life is motivated by fear. Mostly it is fear of rejection - or more precisely abandonment. Right now - this is my reality = I am very happily married (1 year) to a recovering alcoholic (12 years) I am t...

Heather72 · Heather72

Hi, I am a new member to this group. There are no local meetings in which I can attend, apparently I live in the middle of nowhere. I am so very glad to have found this place. My H has been struggling with alocholism and drug addiction for over 18 years, we have been married for only 6. He was recentl...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I have come to a conclusion. When I have a problem with something or someone it is really a problem within myself. I'm too needy, I'm not patient enough, I'm not persuasive enough, I'm not something....and it may not even be something that someone else really needs rather something that I THINK someo...

kissers · kissers

Our internet connection was down at work for almost 2 days. I had a lot of work to do, so on the 2nd day I drove home to use my internet connection. Meanwhile, I have not been happy with my job or the way I am being treated. There are a lot of games being played and I am getting caught in the middle. Anyway, I was a...

serendipity · serendipity

I wish I could just become an alanon nun. I got a call from an old friend, went on vacation and wouldn't ya know he wants to move in with me. Yes, he's a drunk. Like slurring after 5 pm drunk. I know this is just another lesson to learn. More of what I do, say, expect. How I am attracted to these really screwed u...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Okay, I was feeling pretty serene tonight. Then my hubby and I were doing a Yahoo Messenger IM with a friend that lives in another state - He didn't feel like typing so we agreed that I would type (I type much faster than he does) and I would type what he wanted to say and what I wanted to say. The problem was th...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

This really made sense when I read it in this book and thought it might hit a cord with a few of us: To the degree we know that we have something to do with what happens to us. we gain authority, influence, and control over our lives. We see that by changing our attitudes and actions, we can change what happen...

babysteps · babysteps

I walk three miles every morning. I get up at 6am, drink some coffee and read the paper, then hit the road with my i-pod. It is my time. This morning I couldn't stop crying for most of the way. Two years ago this month my AH went to rehab. He left the day after our daughter's 5th birthday. He relapsed 5 days aft...

Anakasha · Anakasha

Not sure if I am at the right place, But I am maybe just needing some advice. I am hoping there is something I can do to help. I have been married for almost 20 years. We were married when I was 18 and he was 21. About a year ago he started drinking alot more then ususal. Before it was a six pack on the weeke...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference And - God - Grant me the courage and the strength to have full faith in your power and your plan. Help me to hear see and feel your message so that I may better serve your will...

Fifi · Fifi

So an odd moment last night or rather this morning I thank my higher power for. At 2:45 am my phone rings...I startle awake. I see in caller ID it is my exA...out of the house 2 weeks...I have no idea where he is...we have spoken briefly and nicely a few times about practical matters. I have been suff...

Kim65 · Kim65

Yesterday the restraining order was finally processed and accepted by the judge. It is for one year (!!) and in the paperwork the A can come out ONCE with a law officer to get the rest of his belongings. His lawyer also filed that lawsuit about splitting the property assets yesterday. In it the A deman...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Writing (journaling and writing poetry) saved my life (and continues to do so)... I thought I'd share these two poems on the subject of fear and letting go Living In Fear It's like being at the top of the very highest roller coaster and you're about to drop... Heart racing Breath quickened Every muscle...

mistyk · mistyk

my fiance left today for rehab. he went to a facility in fl for 30 days. he made the choice on his own and arranged everything. i just miss him really bad. this is the first time we have ever been apart. however i know its the best thing for him and for us. just heart broken and i know he is struggling too....

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello MIP Friends))) These last three days have been exhausting for us. One of my aunt's passed away on Saturday night. I was taking some time out from my AH and had been visiting with my mother and Sunday morning we got the call that she had died. We all had expected it as she had sufferred for a long...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, What better place to find ESH. I have been so overwhelmed this summer with my mom's surgery and my son's undiagnosed illness. Well, to make a long story short, I have spent alot of time with my family of origin. Many things have come up but mom is doing better. My sister from out of town impli...

petal · petal

Hi Everyone, I am new here and firstly I am just so delighted to have come across your board. Tonight my heart is heavy almost breaking. Whilst My husband of 30 years lies snoring in a drunken stupor on the settee downstairs... I can remember a week ago when he promised me he would stop, and he did until t...

dollface · dollface

I'm not sure how this is going to come out. My husband is an alcoholic and has been sober for 5 days. He is an extremely determined person, whose fault is to give 110% at everything he does. That included his drinking. What started as a way for us to add some fun to already fun activities spiraled out of...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Working on my boundries (Preview) Now that I am back from my vacation, I am having to work on my boundries BIG TIME. My AH is trying to work his way back in. I refuse to let it happen though. For example: He came over Saturday afternoon when we got home to visit with the kids. I was bustling around the house trying to get it clean and put va...	QOD	6	551	Jul 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Unconditional Love (Preview) Hi everyone, I have shared before about the guilt tripping and manipulation my grandmother pulls. Well, she tried again and I used the tools of the program. She came knocking on my door this evening. She knew she was wrong and there was no need for me to point it out to her. I am not her HP. It was so nice not t...	kissers	1	347	Jul 25, 2007 by annmarie
	How do you deal with how this is affecting your kids??? (Preview) I am trying to deal with how my decisions are affecting my daughter. I recently started going to counseling with my qualifier (her father). Once we decided this, he moved back in. That lasted about a week before I felt my boundaries were being stepped all over and I told him that I didn't think we shou...	Leetle	7	616	Jul 25, 2007 by nmike
	I am a proud "cookie cutter" (Preview) I was reading, for about the hundredth time here, another derogatory comment towards "cookie cutter" responses. I get tired of the insinuation that somehow those who feel they have the strength and/or knowledge to tell others what they should or should not be doing are better than th...	canadianguy	22	2136	Jul 24, 2007 by debilyn
	how old am I again? (Preview) sometimes I get stuck in a time warp. I forget that what others say, think, or do doesn't HAVE to affect me unless I let it. I have control over my mood, my circumstances, how I let people treat me, the actions I take to assume responsibility for my life, whereas I didn't have that control when I was a child....	seekingserenity	3	548	Jul 24, 2007 by lmt123
	It has to be me (Preview) My "cousin" ( my parent's goddaughter who is my age and I grew up with as the only family) told me via email today that she has intentionally cut ties with me and my kids because she feels that I was not there for her while she had been having problems with her 16 yr. old daughter. I was shocked, h...	serendipity	10	642	Jul 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	"Happy" Anniversary? (Preview) I've spoke with ah a few times today and he never said Happy Anniversary. Even though it really means nothing to me at this point I just wondered if he'd even make that a priority. Nope. Seven years today. Is it wierd to not feel married? The distance between us (four hours) and him not showing up for three...	Friendofyours	8	2225	Jul 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	90 days sober today (Preview) (((MIP Family))) Today AH has 90 days sobriety. We have had 90 days before, but I will say this 90 days looks different than the other's. We are both working recovery programs today; which is much different than before. I feel like I have grown alot in these past 3 months. I've had to process through...	twinmom2	6	759	Jul 24, 2007 by lin0606
	left behind (Preview) I find myself in the situation where my husband is fast approaching his year anniversery of sobriety. Me, on the other hand have spent the past year having a affair,smoking alot of weed, being angry at him and just not knowing what to do with myself. Where do I even start to recover? and where can I find th...	mstrixe2	5	650	Jul 24, 2007 by twinkie
	What do you tell your kids? (Preview) It was agreed the kids would sleep to their father (now, next door neighbour) for the weekend and I thought it was the right time to repaint their bedroom. The kids helped me all day and after dinner time, they went to their father all happy of spending the night there and excited about their 'new' bedroo...	gaelle	10	714	Jul 24, 2007 by gaelle
	Alcoholism has been my excuse.... (Preview) In a reflective mood today..... sitting here, some five years after ending my marriage to my A-wife after ten years..... She has recently received her 5-year sobriety cake, and life carries on.... We certainly aren't friendly, as our relationship is best described as "strained", as...	canadianguy	10	775	Jul 24, 2007 by kismetstrand
	My Saturday.... (Preview) We survived Saturday's dinner with my Brother-in-law. It was --geeze I'm not sure what it was. Sat. my Ah was suppose to stop by to help with the weedeating around the house, he'd been saying that he was going to stop by for a month so I wasn't really banking on it only the odds were better since he knew hi...	Lunamoth	2	474	Jul 24, 2007 by beaulahg
	Humor to lighten your day... (Preview) I found this on an AA website, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to mention other sites here, so I won't. If anyone knows if I'm allowed to, please drop me a line and I'll post the website. I really found this to be applicable to anyone, whether or not in AA or Alanon. If a dog was your teacher, you would learn:...	lmt123	8	757	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	Long term benefits (sorta) of boundries (Preview) I know for alot of our members--at least the new ones--boundries are a confusing concept. My buddist sponsor called'em "psycho babble with bubbles for substance." But one thing she & I agreed on is that saying no, then keeping with it is a powerful action. It's choosing what to keep...	Tiger2006	4	597	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	To detach with love... (Preview) I am very early in my journey.....Still...LOL My Ah and I have been living apart for nearly one month. We've been married 5 years. We've had many seperations in the past as well. We've been having regular contact, being as we have a 3yr old awesome boy together! That's complicated. I would very much...	Rora	6	667	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	Every now and then we have to laugh (Preview) (((((Mip Family))))) Got this in my in-box and had to send it on. I can just picture this happening. Hope it brings a smile lilms The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is th...	lilms	4	383	Jul 24, 2007 by carolena
	I did everything wrong! (Preview) I really lost it with my AH on Friday. I had had a same day surgery procedure, which he took me to, and I slept all day on the couch recovering. When I woke up I went to the fridge to get some iced tea and what do I find but a bottle of vodka. He had promised me two weeks ago that he was quitting and would never br...	Chetch	7	543	Jul 24, 2007 by annmarie
	Long time away from this board (Preview) It must be almost 2 months since I've had time to read the posts on this board, let alone update you all on my situation with my ex A b/f My relationship with my ex has been (this may sound corny) SPECTACULAR!! As you may remember, I decided to set some rules in our relationship and those "rules"...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	1	483	Jul 24, 2007 by Barbs45
	Ah Went into Rehab (Preview) I haven't been on here in a while. But I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. My AH went into an inpatient alcohol rehab place on thursday. He will be there for a minimum of21 days. He made the decision to go. He called and got the insurance information to see if they would pay. Then he cal...	janey225	5	438	Jul 23, 2007 by canadianguy
	in a rut (Preview) I haven't been thinking too much about alanonfor a few weeks or more. I guess I just got tired of things not changing, me not changing. Another member of my AH's family died from alcohol, this one was younger then him. Her story was so paralell to his, I thought he had to think about it a little bit. but no, h...	RainyJamie	2	570	Jul 23, 2007 by QOD
	Everybody Must Get Stoned... (Preview) Just thought I'd share a funny family moment we had tonight. My AH sober called this evening to see what we had planned. I told him we were going to go swimming at a friend's house and he decided to meet us there and join us. We had a great time and he came back to the house for some blackberry crisp. The older k...	Loupiness	2	447	Jul 23, 2007 by QOD
	Anomynity (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have gone to great lengths to keep our family struggles private for a miriad of reasons - to protect my children, my AH's professional reputation, our privately owned business in this oh so small town (thus our livlihood), and as much as I hate to admit it, my pride. For these reasons, I...	Loupiness	4	533	Jul 23, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way... (Preview) My AH (we are seperated and I'm starting on divorce papers) was sober for 20 years but started drinking again 2 years ago. I found signs that he was cheating , I know he lied to me and our boys told me that he had to leave for the sake of our family . I found out last week that he has girlfriend, which was so hard....	tryingtoheal	10	750	Jul 23, 2007 by canadianguy
	Gaining Me Back (Preview) My older A child is in jail. I've been in a lot of pain since I found out and this is an awakening time for me. My A child is going thru a messy divorce and it was domestic violence and still is that way and there is a small child involved. My A has been drinking and using RX as I know for years and not using t...	boo	4	620	Jul 23, 2007 by boo
	Gratitude (Preview) I have discovered that I have some angels in my life. The last couple weeks I was in a panic. I discovered that I wasn't going to recieve any or very little financial aid for the summer term of college. I was worried about paying bills and buying food, and it was bringing up issues from the past. I ended up d...	bob6502	6	563	Jul 23, 2007 by gardengal
	Gratitude List... (Preview) Thank you all for the birthday wishes. As Maria said I pop in from time to time to keep grounded. Im not as faithful about a daily or even weekly gratitude list as I would like to be, but, this past month leading up to and through my birthday has definitely given me the chance to do so. I have been riding the...	AlaMom	2	356	Jul 23, 2007 by danz123
	Taking care of me? (Preview) I had a thought today, while I was working out (something I recently started doing again and it feels good)! The thought was more of a realization and a question... Why is it so hard to take care of me? My glasses have been "broken" for almost two weeks now (one of the nose pads broke off) and I ke...	Positivelydee	3	468	Jul 23, 2007 by annmarie
	Been away for some time--need prayers, ESH (Preview) Hello Friends! I wanted first to check in and let you all know I am still here, and I am basically "OK", if you wanted to know. I am sure my friends have been wondering if I dropped off the face of the earth---NOT YET. I am still living alone, my A still in the same dingy motel, apparently has begun...	hippietrippiechick	4	646	Jul 22, 2007 by Kim65
	Back from the Beach!! (Preview) Hey everyone - We are back from the beach. We had a great time. I have attached a pic of me and the kids at the aquarium. There are a boat load more.....but I figured I'd only atttach one. Our first night got off to a rocky start. Our room we checked into was NASTY!!! There was sand in our sheets, a pillow...	QOD	4	327	Jul 22, 2007 by Leetle
	When the sight of him makes a bad mood inevitable.... (Preview) I've read on here a few times that just seeing their A-spouse makes them "want to throw up" so to speak. I'm so glad to read this in a way, because I've been dwelling on "what the hell is wrong with me?" for quite some time now. I am currently seperated from my AH of 5 years. We have an a...	Rora	4	673	Jul 22, 2007 by Kim65
	Always feeling different (Preview) Hi Friends, When I come here I know that you will understand. As an ACA I always felt different, never felt a part of my family, and never felt loved particularly by my mother. This summer has been spent going thru surgery with my 84 year old mother. She lives two hours away. So I have been going back and for...	nmike	3	422	Jul 22, 2007 by Leetle
	Humbling prospective on comparing insides to outsides... (Preview)	Tiger2006	0	390	Jul 22, 2007 by Tiger2006
	THIS WILL MAKE YOU SMILE (Preview) (((((((Guys))))))))))))) Want a laugh...maybe it's just me, but I thought some of these were awesome....Have more that I couldn't put on...lol Love Ally girl	ally	6	522	Jul 22, 2007 by NCC1701
	Attitude (Preview) ((((((Family))))), Good morning. I was reading from my daily meditations book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg. 1991 Hazelden The theme of today reading is about attitude. Here's part of that reading Attutudes give birth to themselves. Fresh ideas foster fres...	Karilynn	1	368	Jul 22, 2007 by lin0606
	Are you as good to yourself as you would be for someone you care for? (Preview) Living with an alcoholic we tend to lose ourselves in the tangled web of alcoholism. We are consumed daily by the whereabouts, the actions, the non actions of someone we love, our alcoholic. We obsess , we worry, we fear, we get angry. 24/7 our minds are focussed on the A, and our whole life seems to revol...	gardengal	3	463	Jul 22, 2007 by weggie
	just need to talk to my friends (Preview) My best friend of 51 years lost her battle with cancer last night. I am so sad and my heart hurts for "me", but I am so happy she is no longer suffering. It's times like this that make me realize that we really can only and should live each day to it's fullest and take "one day at a time&quo...	Lexie	10	629	Jul 22, 2007 by ally
	An Oletimer Is the Birthday Girl (Preview) Today is Alamom's Birthday . She still posts and visits the room here and there so wish her a Happy Birthday if you see here. Happy, happy birthday Karen. Eat a lot of Love ya Girl, You aren't getting older (denial ); you are definitely getting better. Maria	Maria123	16	638	Jul 21, 2007 by tea2
	comning up with another plan b (Preview) another member here has very compasssionately challenged me to come up with another plan b. My story is that in March this year I broke off with the A and I separated after a relationship of 7 years. I was incredibly miserable because (a) I feared for him and (b) he had our pets dogs. I did not move to a good s...	maresie2	10	690	Jul 21, 2007 by TLC2
	thankyou al-anon.. (Preview) When i first learnt to drive , i was terrified , nervous , and after my first lesson i vowed never to sit in the drivers seat again ... i cried my eyes out cause i was useless , and it took a while for it to click .. and when it did , i was fine .. passed my test first time ... and that's how i felt when i found this site...	cytagirl	3	355	Jul 21, 2007 by Friendofyours
	So hard headed..... (Preview) I am, I really am. It's funny, I was sharing with my daugter today how her father once was telling a friend of his what kind of car I needed, and that I didn't need a stick/straight drive ...so what did I do? I went out and bought a car I couldn't even drive - a stick. God knows I'm hard headed. That was ma...	Lunamoth	5	639	Jul 21, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Detachment (Preview) Well I had a good lesson in detachment this week. To recap as you all know I have had a really tumultous relationship with one of my housemates. When I moved in she was very nice to me but at the same time pretty push. She lives with her son who had a terrible accident years ago. He had a major brain injury and i...	maresie2	4	504	Jul 21, 2007 by TLC2
	Angst (Preview) Sometimes I feel bad for posting my "woes" because I am very fortunate to not be living with an active alcoholic ~ having said that ~ here is my woe for the moment. I went to my GRE class where they zipped through geometry equations and the like. UGH ~ I nearly got whiplash for as fast as they went...	Positivelydee	1	442	Jul 21, 2007 by Kim65
	Letting Go (Preview) Since just completing my fear inventory - I wanted to share with the group some of my 'ah-has' - My entire life is motivated by fear. Mostly it is fear of rejection - or more precisely abandonment. Right now - this is my reality = I am very happily married (1 year) to a recovering alcoholic (12 years) I am t...	Positivelydee	3	491	Jul 21, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Thirteen days thirteen hours in jail (Preview) Hi, I am a new member to this group. There are no local meetings in which I can attend, apparently I live in the middle of nowhere. I am so very glad to have found this place. My H has been struggling with alocholism and drug addiction for over 18 years, we have been married for only 6. He was recentl...	Heather72	7	551	Jul 21, 2007 by Heather72
	Acceptance (Preview) I have come to a conclusion. When I have a problem with something or someone it is really a problem within myself. I'm too needy, I'm not patient enough, I'm not persuasive enough, I'm not something....and it may not even be something that someone else really needs rather something that I THINK someo...	seekingserenity	5	595	Jul 21, 2007 by babysteps
	Anger slipping out (Preview) Our internet connection was down at work for almost 2 days. I had a lot of work to do, so on the 2nd day I drove home to use my internet connection. Meanwhile, I have not been happy with my job or the way I am being treated. There are a lot of games being played and I am getting caught in the middle. Anyway, I was a...	kissers	1	422	Jul 21, 2007 by nmike
	Alanon convent (Preview) I wish I could just become an alanon nun. I got a call from an old friend, went on vacation and wouldn't ya know he wants to move in with me. Yes, he's a drunk. Like slurring after 5 pm drunk. I know this is just another lesson to learn. More of what I do, say, expect. How I am attracted to these really screwed u...	serendipity	7	727	Jul 21, 2007 by Jamekaticy
	It happens just like that! (Preview) Okay, I was feeling pretty serene tonight. Then my hubby and I were doing a Yahoo Messenger IM with a friend that lives in another state - He didn't feel like typing so we agreed that I would type (I type much faster than he does) and I would type what he wanted to say and what I wanted to say. The problem was th...	Positivelydee	4	628	Jul 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	Accountability.....I learned from this (sharing) (Preview) This really made sense when I read it in this book and thought it might hit a cord with a few of us: To the degree we know that we have something to do with what happens to us. we gain authority, influence, and control over our lives. We see that by changing our attitudes and actions, we can change what happen...	Friendofyours	1	475	Jul 20, 2007 by Positivelydee
	Struggling to Let Go and Let God (Preview) I walk three miles every morning. I get up at 6am, drink some coffee and read the paper, then hit the road with my i-pod. It is my time. This morning I couldn't stop crying for most of the way. Two years ago this month my AH went to rehab. He left the day after our daughter's 5th birthday. He relapsed 5 days aft...	babysteps	5	625	Jul 20, 2007 by twinkie
	Needing some advice - Help (Preview) Not sure if I am at the right place, But I am maybe just needing some advice. I am hoping there is something I can do to help. I have been married for almost 20 years. We were married when I was 18 and he was 21. About a year ago he started drinking alot more then ususal. Before it was a six pack on the weeke...	Anakasha	7	637	Jul 20, 2007 by shimo
	Serenity Prayer twist (Preview) Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference And - God - Grant me the courage and the strength to have full faith in your power and your plan. Help me to hear see and feel your message so that I may better serve your will...	Positivelydee	1	575	Jul 20, 2007 by shimo
	HP....painfull and freeing (Preview) So an odd moment last night or rather this morning I thank my higher power for. At 2:45 am my phone rings...I startle awake. I see in caller ID it is my exA...out of the house 2 weeks...I have no idea where he is...we have spoken briefly and nicely a few times about practical matters. I have been suff...	Fifi	7	667	Jul 20, 2007 by Fifi
	Finally! (Preview) Yesterday the restraining order was finally processed and accepted by the judge. It is for one year (!!) and in the paperwork the A can come out ONCE with a law officer to get the rest of his belongings. His lawyer also filed that lawsuit about splitting the property assets yesterday. In it the A deman...	Kim65	12	703	Jul 20, 2007 by Kim65
	Letting Go PART II (Preview) Writing (journaling and writing poetry) saved my life (and continues to do so)... I thought I'd share these two poems on the subject of fear and letting go Living In Fear It's like being at the top of the very highest roller coaster and you're about to drop... Heart racing Breath quickened Every muscle...	Positivelydee	1	385	Jul 20, 2007 by Baffled
	please give me words of encouragement (Preview) my fiance left today for rehab. he went to a facility in fl for 30 days. he made the choice on his own and arranged everything. i just miss him really bad. this is the first time we have ever been apart. however i know its the best thing for him and for us. just heart broken and i know he is struggling too....	mistyk	14	4093	Jul 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	Bitter sweet pains of grief/loss (Preview) (((Hello MIP Friends))) These last three days have been exhausting for us. One of my aunt's passed away on Saturday night. I was taking some time out from my AH and had been visiting with my mother and Sunday morning we got the call that she had died. We all had expected it as she had sufferred for a long...	twinmom2	10	638	Jul 20, 2007 by twinmom2
	Alanoners who drink? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, What better place to find ESH. I have been so overwhelmed this summer with my mom's surgery and my son's undiagnosed illness. Well, to make a long story short, I have spent alot of time with my family of origin. Many things have come up but mom is doing better. My sister from out of town impli...	nmike	18	1751	Jul 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	Broken Promises and Shattered Dreams (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new here and firstly I am just so delighted to have come across your board. Tonight my heart is heavy almost breaking. Whilst My husband of 30 years lies snoring in a drunken stupor on the settee downstairs... I can remember a week ago when he promised me he would stop, and he did until t...	petal	9	589	Jul 20, 2007 by petal
	Is Al-Anon for me? (Preview) I'm not sure how this is going to come out. My husband is an alcoholic and has been sober for 5 days. He is an extremely determined person, whose fault is to give 110% at everything he does. That included his drinking. What started as a way for us to add some fun to already fun activities spiraled out of...	dollface	11	692	Jul 20, 2007 by gaelle
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.