Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

browneyes92563 · browneyes92563

Hi everyone, Today is the first day I have visited this site and was referred to it through a book I have been reading. I am glad to be here and have all hopes that I have found a place to learn, grow and have an outlet. I have a 21 year old son who is an alcoholic. He lives with my fiance and I along with my fiance...

libddy · libddy

First time here, am wondering how you get a f2f group to do either one of these. I have been going to my f2f for 3 yrs and have done neither. The group is not doing so well, I chaired a meeting on the topic of group conscience and found that only 2 out of the 8 people there new what is was or what it looked like, I w...

Rita G · Rita G

Continuing my share from last week, my granddaughter was having a much better day on Saturday. She got to wear her favorite outfit & she was also able to go to ReeRee's Saturday meeting Ok - I'm going to try to attach the pictures - hopefully it will work. I had a good weekend visiting with several...

roygbiv · roygbiv

Blehhh... My sister came over to the house to go through our late mom's things and we started talking. I've avoided saying anything to her about her son for a couple years even though I can see I'll be going to his memorial one of these days. The last time I spoke to her about him was years ago and I didn'...

Kim65 · Kim65

This has been a mental theme lately, I think I'm just beginning to 'get it', what it means to love myself, be kind to myself, look out for myself. Before now it never occurred to me to do the things for myself that I automatically do for others to create comfort or safety. Somehow (I did grow up in an alcohol...

twinkie · twinkie

I have some huge life changing decisions to make and my tendency in the past is to get so overwhelmed and indecisive. I know my HP will guide me and I've been praying for that though sometimes I miss the signs....I want to see the big neon that says, "You Should Do X" I know he's much more subt...

Kim65 · Kim65

Last week I got a summons for the A from another county for an arraignment (he was pulled over and busted for having meth on him). I told the deputy sheriff I had this item, and asked what I should do with it. The ex parte (restraining order) prevents either of us from contacting the other. The sheriff sa...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Well he didn't come over or call. I worried all day and got sidetrack at work and obsessed all for nothing. Now I just wonder when I will hear from him again. I'm tired of calling and asking for my money. I've told him I don't like calling him and reminding him every month. But it has also made me realize t...

Fifi · Fifi

So since my A boyfriend moved out, I am struggling so much with the emotions and thoughts around our relationship. I find myself feeling so angry at all the hurt he caused me and I can often fall into the victim role....he took advantage of me and my home and my kids and my money and my kindness and my patien...

Becky1 · Becky1

We have been getting along well for the past week and a half, since I came back from my week away at my Mom's for vacation. Last night, we were talking about dinner, decided what to have. I started the potatoes in the oven, and we both went out on the deck to string fresh green beans his mom had brought over....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have found the best thing for me in this program is my new ability to stand back and do nothing. I never thought I could do it but here it has been almost a year since I moved out and I find the more I stand back and observe, the more interesting it gets. I would never have thought that all of the things that h...

mandalynn38 · mandalynn38

Hi Everyone, I am glad to be back reading the boards, also working on the steps. I have gotten thru steps 1 thru almost 3...... going to f2f meeting once a week. My AB is in rehab for 3 months. I have came a long way and I pray that god is with the A to give him the strength he needs to live a sober life One Day At A Ti...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My mother has done a ton of things that would make you shake your heads in total disbelief. So here's the last epidsode of her craziness. My brother who is a heroin addict (pain killers as well) was living with her. She let him stay for the money he was giving her $1000's a month. Her mortgage is only $400 an...

rita m · rita m

Hello, I am so happy that someone in my homegroup suggested this site to me. I missed my favorite meeting tonight because I had to work late. I have enjoyed reading the posts on here! Yesterday was a difficult day with my A. What a difference a day makes! We went to his company picnic, he was totally stress...

Chetch · Chetch

My husband has been sober for over a week now. He's gotten over the "shakes" and is seeming to be a bit like his old self. I can see glimmers of the man I fell in love with. He even worked all day yesterday and we had a nice peaceful evening at home last night. I know it won't last and am quitely sa...

nursedebbiepink · nursedebbiepink

hi folks, my dh started drinking again last night. do i say anything or just go about my business like everything is alright?

Nedsaid · Nedsaid

I'm new and feeling alone. Married to a functional alcoholic. I've recognized the fact for years but haven't acted on it. I truly love my husband but only his co-workers see his wonderful sober side. I'm tired of being by myself all the time because the drunkman is busy with his true love. I work pa...

nycbt · nycbt

I haven't been posting in a while here what is happen with me. I am doing awsome. I have changed my meds and my concernation much better. I am doing good. I have been able to see how long I come. I have talked to be able to talk to both my sponsor and sponsee. My sponsor is very proud of me on my progress. Just wan...

Rita G · Rita G

Good Morning MIP Family - It's Friday the 13th - So tonight every cable station will be airing all those horror flicks, and from a previous post about movies - I began to think lets do something fun today on our board - It's Friday and I could use something fun and relaxing - So what are your top 5 movies? ...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of the hardest things I have had to do in recent years was confront the fantasy. A few years ago I wen t to visit my dysfunctional family who I had not seen for decades. They were incredibly dysfunctional and really enmeshed. Nevertheless I had fantasies of some wonderful reunion and reconciliatio...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I am in alanon but I attend an OPEN AA meeting once a week with my husband and I've been going to this meeting for a few months now. My sponsor belongs to AA and also attends this meeting. We all go out afterwards for fellowship ~ The other day I asked my sponsor if she thought it was appropriate or inapprop...

babysteps · babysteps

My sis-in-law (AH's sister) went in to outpatient rehab 2-months ago and recently relapsed. Her husband has called us displaying the classic signs of co-dependency and a person in desperate need of some help himself. I have tried to encourage him to look into al anon, explaining that it is about taki...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone))))))) How bad is your desire to hoard up guilt? Do you have a special fire proof safe for it? Maybe some of you ladies have a velvet lined box with a dainty little key. Do you make sure that nobody else has any.... selfishly taking the guilt from everyone you touch like you were curing...

ally · ally

((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) My life has been a mery-go-round, for the last eight months (more than usual)..lol Anyway, I have constantly "Let" myself be manipulated, used, etc, by the recovering A in my life. I didn't see it at the time, didnt want to. I know all my family and frien...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I'm doing my 4th step with my sponsor and it is NOT fun. Okay - I knew that it wouldn't be - but this has really gotten to me. Since starting this step I've typed 7 pages on FEAR and 7 pages on Anger and I have really bad dreams every night so I wake up in a 'bad way' ~ Gratefully I am living with a recovering alcoh...

wp · wp

Could we have some guidance on when and where to post FAQ's that we want to suggest for the new project? When you get a chance, would like to hear. Thanks much, mspw

kissers · kissers

A fellow member and I have been friends for a couple years. He had told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him I was not interested in anything other than friendship. He moved away 8 months ago to another state and I hadn't heard anything from him. Recently he e-mailed me and told me he was comi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate. -- William Arthur Ward Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what the...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I haven't posted here much but am always reading and have went to some f/t/f meetings, read all kinds of books and am getting much better after almost 2 years apart and 2 years of living together. My axbf is coming by my house today to pay me some money he owes me. i told him to mail it or just drop it off. yes I...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi al-pals, I'm on vacation at the beach in a lovely condo that has HBO! Wow -- what a treat! Last night, we watched "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." It was such a nice chick flick... about some young women (aged 17yrs?) who deal with various issues with the help of this pair of pan...

souljoy · souljoy

What do you do when your AH starts badgering you or telling you how much you suck? For the last 24 hours I have been told I don't appreciate him or the place we live, been ignored when I say food's ready, and kicked out of my own house for a few hours.I'm so exhusted and raw emotionally from all of it. I don't d...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I missed most of work and sat in court for three hours today. It wasn't particularly scary because I knew the A probably wouldn't be there as he is in jail. I didn't have to talk to anyone, never said a word and was awarded a $413 per month order. It starts in September. Like I said tho, he's in jail b...

mom1973 · mom1973

I am not sure if I am handling things in a positve manner as far as family gatherings go. I have three adult children. In the past most holidays were sucessfully held at my home. When one of the other children had a party everyone gathered at their home. Since my A daughter's behavior has gotten worse she...

meagain · meagain

Does anyone else feel "afraid" when leaving home---away from the phone?? Just waiting for the next "scary" phone call. My "A" son (age 32) usually calls me at least every other day. Well last week he called-and I told him Bill collectors were calling here (don't kn...

missyd1111 · missyd1111

Hi my name is melissa and im 23 years old with 2 of the most beautiful kids in the whole world..I'm a stay home mother,and i wouldn't have it any other way...me and my fiance of 8 years purchased our first house almost 2years ago.. i would say my life is complete accept for one thing ,my fiance is an full tim...

Rora · Rora

I get myself confused sometimes, because my husband often makes me feel like if I were different, things between us would be better. Understanding that there are always two sides to a story and two perspectives to it as well, sometimes I feel stubborn and confident that I am not looking at this wrong,...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello MIP Family, I had some free time today to get online and vent a bit. The weekend started out great. Picked up dinner for everyone last night and a friend from work came by to get her hair colored and cut. My AH had the kids in the bedroom watching a movie and then after the movie was over he comes out a...

mom1973 · mom1973

Hello again. I am glad I started coming here to write my feelings. I mention before that my family seems to have abandonded me. Now my Partner of 4 years joins that group. I noticed he was pulling back and becoming very verbally rude. The little things like taking me out for groceries and occassional din...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today's thought from Hazelden is: In the long run, it's easier to carry out our Higher Power's will than our own. The good news of the Twelve Step program is that we don't have to continue trying to make self-will work. Attempting to make the rest of the world conform to what we think we want is a little lik...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My ah hasn't seen the kids since May right so he was on his way tonight. I get a call that the clutch in his truck is broken. I believe him but the kids are devastated. He had them all worked up to go to the water park as a family. The next time he can come is in a month from now because we won't have the money again t...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi (((((family))))), A lot of you know that I kicked my 19 yr old daughter out in early June for her nasty attitude and blatant disrespect towards me. I have had peaceful days since then... I found out she has been living with her b/f and his dad (b/f's mom is out of the picture). I've not said anything, s...

gimmpy · gimmpy

How can I get myself to the point where I say enough is enough. The thought of my daughter on the streets is so painful, it's like nothing I have ever felt. I have given her so many chances, and still she shows no signs of getting her life back on track. There is always something that alows me to convince my...

danz123 · danz123

Miracles in Progress July 8,2007 Group Conscience Meeting Minutes The chairperson opened the meeting w/The Serenity Prayer. OLD BUSINESS The current meeting chair list was posted, as well as the following op requirements. The position of Room Operator or Monitor is one of responsibility for the...

jewely · jewely

lately i have been having some insightfull thoughts concerning the "wisdom to know the difference". i have been in the program for many years now, but, until recently have not heard the voice of higher power clearly. today, i was going to go to a round up. it is HOt where i live, sickenin...

pepodwyer · pepodwyer

How do you know if a person is an alcoholic? I read the page that described the behavior. I see some of it in my husband. I grew up around abundant alcohol use, but it still took me a long time to realize that my father was an alcoholic. He drank every day, not getting falling down drunk. Alc...

Fifi · Fifi

It has been one week since my addict BF has moved out of mine and my little girls home and life. Just like his sobriety and other changes....it went fast and furious. Cold turkey. Like he was never here. It is hard for me to process all the emotions alone. How can someone just evaporate?! Like he never sh...

QOD · QOD

My AH's grandma called me and said that his mom and stepdad woke him up and talked to him a little while ago. My stepdad had said that he was going to tell him he couldn't stay there unless he got treatment. WELL - he agreed and they immediately took him to a hospital/institute.....I don't know what you c...

jewely · jewely

i have been getting these moments of enlightenment lately. thoughts that come to my mind that are as real as the setting sun or a full moon night. recently i said to self, '' i like my privacy. i don't want to give it up.'' i have been dealing with the defect of isolation, and, as quick as i had that thought to...

Rita G · Rita G

Hey my MIP family, I have tried to post this message a few times - written a long explanation - then deleted it. I can't make it to a meeting today (Oh, do I need one badly) hopefully I'll make it tomorrow night. Basically, please just remind me that I have the right to do what is best to take care of myself...

gardengal · gardengal

Alcoholic's drink because they think they have to. They use the alcohol as a crutch and an escape. They are in emotional pain, and use the alcohol to kill that pain, and eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they cant live without it. Hope for recovery lies in their abili...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Am I doing something wrong? I can not get onto chat. I've looked at my "settings" and I don't see anything for that :( Help me if you can. Thanx.

maresie2 · maresie2

I am living in a house right now with a woman and her son which is really bringing up a lot for me. I've written before about seeing her codepenence in myself. She really puts out for her son who really just does what he feels like. Talk about a mirror of many situaitons for me. Lately she h...

rita m · rita m

i am so glad someone in my al anon homegroup suggested this message board. i have been going to meetings again for about 3 months. went for over ten years and took about 2 yrs off. it is nice to be back. i am focusing more on me and not my a. my issue is i am a great enabler to all, not just my husband. i have a wonde...

Becky1 · Becky1

I went to my Mom's in Kansas from Ohio for a week, and returned Sat. July 7. It was a planned visit, to help her do some things she needed done (she's 86 and lives alone.) Before I left, my AH and I had not been getting along at all. He was so cold, distant, etc. I ended up leaving an 8 page typewritten letter...

Rita G · Rita G

"The day is just ruined, ReeRee" This is what my granddaughter, Lexi said to me this morning as I was bringing her and her sister, Bella to daycare. She is about 4 1/2 yrs old - I asked her how could her day be ruined at 6:30 in the morning. She said "I wanted to wear my sparkly orange outfit...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My ah will be here tomorrow night. We have not seen him since early May, since before the miscarriage when he said some very hurtful things to me. We speak on the phone sometimes hateful, sometimes decent, most times like nothing has happend. I let him know even though it may sound cruel to you that my hea...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have a great friend here on campus. Her name is Kristen. Kristen has moderate CP. She needs alot of help--opening doors, opening pasta jars, opening things. She needs help getting her dinner plate made, making sure she's got a plate made up for her and set for dinner, and things like this. Things you...

Chetch · Chetch

I am a 57 year old woman married to an alcholic. He is extremely intelligent and is in private practice as an attorney. The drinking didn't get really bad until about 2 years ago, coinciding with my being diagnosed with lung cancer. In the past 2 years I have had 2 lung cancer surgeries, breast cancer...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), Anyone know where I can address medical issues without rocking the boat too much? Once again, the residents screwed up on writing out the correct pain meds for hubby. I am getting frustrated to say the least. While we want to get off the pain meds as soon as possible, accordin...

shadow1 · shadow1

Peggy7 I have looked for you on the board and can't seem to locate you can you please pm me so i can contact you. Thanks Shadow/aka shad

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My Child (Preview) Hi everyone, Today is the first day I have visited this site and was referred to it through a book I have been reading. I am glad to be here and have all hopes that I have found a place to learn, grow and have an outlet. I have a 21 year old son who is an alcoholic. He lives with my fiance and I along with my fiance...	browneyes92563	4	657	Jul 19, 2007 by carolena
	group conscience/ group inventory (Preview) First time here, am wondering how you get a f2f group to do either one of these. I have been going to my f2f for 3 yrs and have done neither. The group is not doing so well, I chaired a meeting on the topic of group conscience and found that only 2 out of the 8 people there new what is was or what it looked like, I w...	libddy	5	8491	Jul 19, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	It's a good day, ReeRee (Preview) Continuing my share from last week, my granddaughter was having a much better day on Saturday. She got to wear her favorite outfit & she was also able to go to ReeRee's Saturday meeting Ok - I'm going to try to attach the pictures - hopefully it will work. I had a good weekend visiting with several...	Rita G	4	402	Jul 19, 2007 by twinmom2
	I've done it now (Preview) Blehhh... My sister came over to the house to go through our late mom's things and we started talking. I've avoided saying anything to her about her son for a couple years even though I can see I'll be going to his memorial one of these days. The last time I spoke to her about him was years ago and I didn'...	roygbiv	4	587	Jul 19, 2007 by roygbiv
	Kindness to one's self (Preview) This has been a mental theme lately, I think I'm just beginning to 'get it', what it means to love myself, be kind to myself, look out for myself. Before now it never occurred to me to do the things for myself that I automatically do for others to create comfort or safety. Somehow (I did grow up in an alcohol...	Kim65	5	665	Jul 18, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Indecisiveness - Need guidance (Preview) I have some huge life changing decisions to make and my tendency in the past is to get so overwhelmed and indecisive. I know my HP will guide me and I've been praying for that though sometimes I miss the signs....I want to see the big neon that says, "You Should Do X" I know he's much more subt...	twinkie	4	640	Jul 18, 2007 by Rita G
	Reality check please! (Preview) Last week I got a summons for the A from another county for an arraignment (he was pulled over and busted for having meth on him). I told the deputy sheriff I had this item, and asked what I should do with it. The ex parte (restraining order) prevents either of us from contacting the other. The sheriff sa...	Kim65	16	739	Jul 18, 2007 by maresie2
	Well He Was A No Show! (Preview) Well he didn't come over or call. I worried all day and got sidetrack at work and obsessed all for nothing. Now I just wonder when I will hear from him again. I'm tired of calling and asking for my money. I've told him I don't like calling him and reminding him every month. But it has also made me realize t...	sisdragonfly1957	2	348	Jul 18, 2007 by maresie2
	not a victim (Preview) So since my A boyfriend moved out, I am struggling so much with the emotions and thoughts around our relationship. I find myself feeling so angry at all the hurt he caused me and I can often fall into the victim role....he took advantage of me and my home and my kids and my money and my kindness and my patien...	Fifi	5	970	Jul 18, 2007 by ally
	Latest Letter from my AH (Preview) We have been getting along well for the past week and a half, since I came back from my week away at my Mom's for vacation. Last night, we were talking about dinner, decided what to have. I started the potatoes in the oven, and we both went out on the deck to string fresh green beans his mom had brought over....	Becky1	9	604	Jul 18, 2007 by ally
	Isn't it interesting when you just stand back and do nothing? (Preview) I have found the best thing for me in this program is my new ability to stand back and do nothing. I never thought I could do it but here it has been almost a year since I moved out and I find the more I stand back and observe, the more interesting it gets. I would never have thought that all of the things that h...	carolinagirl	7	527	Jul 18, 2007 by Rita G
	Changes (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am glad to be back reading the boards, also working on the steps. I have gotten thru steps 1 thru almost 3...... going to f2f meeting once a week. My AB is in rehab for 3 months. I have came a long way and I pray that god is with the A to give him the strength he needs to live a sober life One Day At A Ti...	mandalynn38	1	478	Jul 18, 2007 by SLS
	My mother has hit an all time low in my eyes. (Preview) My mother has done a ton of things that would make you shake your heads in total disbelief. So here's the last epidsode of her craziness. My brother who is a heroin addict (pain killers as well) was living with her. She let him stay for the money he was giving her $1000's a month. Her mortgage is only $400 an...	Friendofyours	9	535	Jul 17, 2007 by Diva
	glad I found this board. (Preview) Hello, I am so happy that someone in my homegroup suggested this site to me. I missed my favorite meeting tonight because I had to work late. I have enjoyed reading the posts on here! Yesterday was a difficult day with my A. What a difference a day makes! We went to his company picnic, he was totally stress...	rita m	4	491	Jul 17, 2007 by maresie2
	He's been sober for over a week. (Preview) My husband has been sober for over a week now. He's gotten over the "shakes" and is seeming to be a bit like his old self. I can see glimmers of the man I fell in love with. He even worked all day yesterday and we had a nice peaceful evening at home last night. I know it won't last and am quitely sa...	Chetch	6	577	Jul 17, 2007 by maresie2
	he started drinking again. do i say anything? (Preview) hi folks, my dh started drinking again last night. do i say anything or just go about my business like everything is alright?	nursedebbiepink	6	811	Jul 17, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I'm here (Preview) I'm new and feeling alone. Married to a functional alcoholic. I've recognized the fact for years but haven't acted on it. I truly love my husband but only his co-workers see his wonderful sober side. I'm tired of being by myself all the time because the drunkman is busy with his true love. I work pa...	Nedsaid	6	435	Jul 17, 2007 by Nedsaid
	i doing good (Preview) I haven't been posting in a while here what is happen with me. I am doing awsome. I have changed my meds and my concernation much better. I am doing good. I have been able to see how long I come. I have talked to be able to talk to both my sponsor and sponsee. My sponsor is very proud of me on my progress. Just wan...	nycbt	7	351	Jul 17, 2007 by gardengal
	Movies, Movies, Movies (Preview) Good Morning MIP Family - It's Friday the 13th - So tonight every cable station will be airing all those horror flicks, and from a previous post about movies - I began to think lets do something fun today on our board - It's Friday and I could use something fun and relaxing - So what are your top 5 movies? ...	Rita G	9	522	Jul 17, 2007 by canadianguy
	confronting the fantasy (Preview) One of the hardest things I have had to do in recent years was confront the fantasy. A few years ago I wen t to visit my dysfunctional family who I had not seen for decades. They were incredibly dysfunctional and really enmeshed. Nevertheless I had fantasies of some wonderful reunion and reconciliatio...	maresie2	6	895	Jul 17, 2007 by canadianguy
	Alanon share at AA? (Preview) I am in alanon but I attend an OPEN AA meeting once a week with my husband and I've been going to this meeting for a few months now. My sponsor belongs to AA and also attends this meeting. We all go out afterwards for fellowship ~ The other day I asked my sponsor if she thought it was appropriate or inapprop...	Positivelydee	12	1403	Jul 17, 2007 by canadianguy
	How to describe Al anon? (Preview) My sis-in-law (AH's sister) went in to outpatient rehab 2-months ago and recently relapsed. Her husband has called us displaying the classic signs of co-dependency and a person in desperate need of some help himself. I have tried to encourage him to look into al anon, explaining that it is about taki...	babysteps	7	774	Jul 17, 2007 by canadianguy
	Lets hear from the guilt monger out there... (Preview) ((((((Everyone))))))) How bad is your desire to hoard up guilt? Do you have a special fire proof safe for it? Maybe some of you ladies have a velvet lined box with a dainty little key. Do you make sure that nobody else has any.... selfishly taking the guilt from everyone you touch like you were curing...	rtexas	7	1655	Jul 17, 2007 by gardengal
	CHANGING FOR ME.... (Preview) ((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) My life has been a mery-go-round, for the last eight months (more than usual)..lol Anyway, I have constantly "Let" myself be manipulated, used, etc, by the recovering A in my life. I didn't see it at the time, didnt want to. I know all my family and frien...	ally	2	417	Jul 17, 2007 by Barbs45
	STEP 4 ~ UGH Step 4 is a dooozy (Preview) I'm doing my 4th step with my sponsor and it is NOT fun. Okay - I knew that it wouldn't be - but this has really gotten to me. Since starting this step I've typed 7 pages on FEAR and 7 pages on Anger and I have really bad dreams every night so I wake up in a 'bad way' ~ Gratefully I am living with a recovering alcoh...	Positivelydee	10	620	Jul 16, 2007 by Positivelydee
	Danz and FAQ's ? (Preview) Could we have some guidance on when and where to post FAQ's that we want to suggest for the new project? When you get a chance, would like to hear. Thanks much, mspw	wp	4	409	Jul 16, 2007 by tea2
	Boundaries (Preview) A fellow member and I have been friends for a couple years. He had told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I told him I was not interested in anything other than friendship. He moved away 8 months ago to another state and I hadn't heard anything from him. Recently he e-mailed me and told me he was comi...	kissers	8	517	Jul 16, 2007 by ally
	Manipulation (Preview) Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate. -- William Arthur Ward Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what the...	Tiger2006	1	361	Jul 16, 2007 by ally
	Needing Some ESH! (Preview) I haven't posted here much but am always reading and have went to some f/t/f meetings, read all kinds of books and am getting much better after almost 2 years apart and 2 years of living together. My axbf is coming by my house today to pay me some money he owes me. i told him to mail it or just drop it off. yes I...	sisdragonfly1957	5	333	Jul 16, 2007 by twinkie
	movie therapy?! (Preview) Hi al-pals, I'm on vacation at the beach in a lovely condo that has HBO! Wow -- what a treat! Last night, we watched "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." It was such a nice chick flick... about some young women (aged 17yrs?) who deal with various issues with the help of this pair of pan...	itsgot2bgd	5	491	Jul 16, 2007 by twinkie
	What Do You Do? (Preview) What do you do when your AH starts badgering you or telling you how much you suck? For the last 24 hours I have been told I don't appreciate him or the place we live, been ignored when I say food's ready, and kicked out of my own house for a few hours.I'm so exhusted and raw emotionally from all of it. I don't d...	souljoy	3	401	Jul 16, 2007 by Mobirdie
	Went to Court!!!! UPDATE>>> (Preview) Well I missed most of work and sat in court for three hours today. It wasn't particularly scary because I knew the A probably wouldn't be there as he is in jail. I didn't have to talk to anyone, never said a word and was awarded a $413 per month order. It starts in September. Like I said tho, he's in jail b...	carolinagirl	5	368	Jul 16, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Family Gatherings have become a nightmare (Preview) I am not sure if I am handling things in a positve manner as far as family gatherings go. I have three adult children. In the past most holidays were sucessfully held at my home. When one of the other children had a party everyone gathered at their home. Since my A daughter's behavior has gotten worse she...	mom1973	5	976	Jul 16, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Going on Holidays~ (Preview) Does anyone else feel "afraid" when leaving home---away from the phone?? Just waiting for the next "scary" phone call. My "A" son (age 32) usually calls me at least every other day. Well last week he called-and I told him Bill collectors were calling here (don't kn...	meagain	1	334	Jul 16, 2007 by carolena
	We dont deserve this (Preview) Hi my name is melissa and im 23 years old with 2 of the most beautiful kids in the whole world..I'm a stay home mother,and i wouldn't have it any other way...me and my fiance of 8 years purchased our first house almost 2years ago.. i would say my life is complete accept for one thing ,my fiance is an full tim...	missyd1111	9	392	Jul 16, 2007 by missyd1111
	How do you know it's NOT you? (Preview) I get myself confused sometimes, because my husband often makes me feel like if I were different, things between us would be better. Understanding that there are always two sides to a story and two perspectives to it as well, sometimes I feel stubborn and confident that I am not looking at this wrong,...	Rora	12	1041	Jul 16, 2007 by Katy
	Taking a break from the selfishness today (Preview) Hello MIP Family, I had some free time today to get online and vent a bit. The weekend started out great. Picked up dinner for everyone last night and a friend from work came by to get her hair colored and cut. My AH had the kids in the bedroom watching a movie and then after the movie was over he comes out a...	twinmom2	4	415	Jul 15, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Another one bites the dust (Preview) Hello again. I am glad I started coming here to write my feelings. I mention before that my family seems to have abandonded me. Now my Partner of 4 years joins that group. I noticed he was pulling back and becoming very verbally rude. The little things like taking me out for groceries and occassional din...	mom1973	8	557	Jul 15, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	God's Will (Preview) Today's thought from Hazelden is: In the long run, it's easier to carry out our Higher Power's will than our own. The good news of the Twelve Step program is that we don't have to continue trying to make self-will work. Attempting to make the rest of the world conform to what we think we want is a little lik...	Tiger2006	0	212	Jul 15, 2007 by Tiger2006
	My poor sweet kids (Preview) My ah hasn't seen the kids since May right so he was on his way tonight. I get a call that the clutch in his truck is broken. I believe him but the kids are devastated. He had them all worked up to go to the water park as a family. The next time he can come is in a month from now because we won't have the money again t...	Friendofyours	4	1268	Jul 15, 2007 by lmt123
	hugged my daughter yesterday...:) (Preview) Hi (((((family))))), A lot of you know that I kicked my 19 yr old daughter out in early June for her nasty attitude and blatant disrespect towards me. I have had peaceful days since then... I found out she has been living with her b/f and his dad (b/f's mom is out of the picture). I've not said anything, s...	lmt123	6	475	Jul 15, 2007 by greta
	where does one find the courage? (Preview) How can I get myself to the point where I say enough is enough. The thought of my daughter on the streets is so painful, it's like nothing I have ever felt. I have given her so many chances, and still she shows no signs of getting her life back on track. There is always something that alows me to convince my...	gimmpy	8	559	Jul 15, 2007 by greta
	July 8 Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Miracles in Progress July 8,2007 Group Conscience Meeting Minutes The chairperson opened the meeting w/The Serenity Prayer. OLD BUSINESS The current meeting chair list was posted, as well as the following op requirements. The position of Room Operator or Monitor is one of responsibility for the...	danz123	3	646	Jul 15, 2007 by Karilynn
	wisdom to know the difference (Preview) lately i have been having some insightfull thoughts concerning the "wisdom to know the difference". i have been in the program for many years now, but, until recently have not heard the voice of higher power clearly. today, i was going to go to a round up. it is HOt where i live, sickenin...	jewely	3	527	Jul 15, 2007 by jewely
	How do you know a person is an Alcoholic? (Preview) How do you know if a person is an alcoholic? I read the page that described the behavior. I see some of it in my husband. I grew up around abundant alcohol use, but it still took me a long time to realize that my father was an alcoholic. He drank every day, not getting falling down drunk. Alc...	pepodwyer	7	641	Jul 14, 2007 by pepodwyer
	one week (Preview) It has been one week since my addict BF has moved out of mine and my little girls home and life. Just like his sobriety and other changes....it went fast and furious. Cold turkey. Like he was never here. It is hard for me to process all the emotions alone. How can someone just evaporate?! Like he never sh...	Fifi	3	268	Jul 14, 2007 by Kim65
	UPDATE!!! (Preview) My AH's grandma called me and said that his mom and stepdad woke him up and talked to him a little while ago. My stepdad had said that he was going to tell him he couldn't stay there unless he got treatment. WELL - he agreed and they immediately took him to a hospital/institute.....I don't know what you c...	QOD	9	418	Jul 14, 2007 by CJ
	wisdom to know the difference (Preview) i have been getting these moments of enlightenment lately. thoughts that come to my mind that are as real as the setting sun or a full moon night. recently i said to self, '' i like my privacy. i don't want to give it up.'' i have been dealing with the defect of isolation, and, as quick as i had that thought to...	jewely	5	483	Jul 14, 2007 by Fifi
	Help (Preview) Hey my MIP family, I have tried to post this message a few times - written a long explanation - then deleted it. I can't make it to a meeting today (Oh, do I need one badly) hopefully I'll make it tomorrow night. Basically, please just remind me that I have the right to do what is best to take care of myself...	Rita G	11	620	Jul 14, 2007 by gardengal
	Alcoholics drink because....... (Preview) Alcoholic's drink because they think they have to. They use the alcohol as a crutch and an escape. They are in emotional pain, and use the alcohol to kill that pain, and eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they cant live without it. Hope for recovery lies in their abili...	gardengal	4	618	Jul 13, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Chat room help please (Preview) Am I doing something wrong? I can not get onto chat. I've looked at my "settings" and I don't see anything for that :( Help me if you can. Thanx.	Friendofyours	4	412	Jul 13, 2007 by Friendofyours
	More ont the mirror stuff (Preview) I am living in a house right now with a woman and her son which is really bringing up a lot for me. I've written before about seeing her codepenence in myself. She really puts out for her son who really just does what he feels like. Talk about a mirror of many situaitons for me. Lately she h...	maresie2	1	381	Jul 13, 2007 by lin0606
	learning to detach with love (Preview) i am so glad someone in my al anon homegroup suggested this message board. i have been going to meetings again for about 3 months. went for over ten years and took about 2 yrs off. it is nice to be back. i am focusing more on me and not my a. my issue is i am a great enabler to all, not just my husband. i have a wonde...	rita m	6	560	Jul 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	Good to Be Home (Preview) I went to my Mom's in Kansas from Ohio for a week, and returned Sat. July 7. It was a planned visit, to help her do some things she needed done (she's 86 and lives alone.) Before I left, my AH and I had not been getting along at all. He was so cold, distant, etc. I ended up leaving an 8 page typewritten letter...	Becky1	6	451	Jul 13, 2007 by Becky1
	"The Day is just Ruined, ReeRee" (Preview) "The day is just ruined, ReeRee" This is what my granddaughter, Lexi said to me this morning as I was bringing her and her sister, Bella to daycare. She is about 4 1/2 yrs old - I asked her how could her day be ruined at 6:30 in the morning. She said "I wanted to wear my sparkly orange outfit...	Rita G	13	868	Jul 13, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Anxiety comin on. (Preview) My ah will be here tomorrow night. We have not seen him since early May, since before the miscarriage when he said some very hurtful things to me. We speak on the phone sometimes hateful, sometimes decent, most times like nothing has happend. I let him know even though it may sound cruel to you that my hea...	Friendofyours	4	465	Jul 13, 2007 by maresie2
	Getting all my buttons pushed, and really need to be reassured right now (Preview) I have a great friend here on campus. Her name is Kristen. Kristen has moderate CP. She needs alot of help--opening doors, opening pasta jars, opening things. She needs help getting her dinner plate made, making sure she's got a plate made up for her and set for dinner, and things like this. Things you...	Tiger2006	10	534	Jul 13, 2007 by Lunamoth
	What would you do in my situation? (Preview) I am a 57 year old woman married to an alcholic. He is extremely intelligent and is in private practice as an attorney. The drinking didn't get really bad until about 2 years ago, coinciding with my being diagnosed with lung cancer. In the past 2 years I have had 2 lung cancer surgeries, breast cancer...	Chetch	9	736	Jul 13, 2007 by Chetch
	Off topic question? (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), Anyone know where I can address medical issues without rocking the boat too much? Once again, the residents screwed up on writing out the correct pain meds for hubby. I am getting frustrated to say the least. While we want to get off the pain meds as soon as possible, accordin...	Karilynn	8	511	Jul 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	Peggy7 ?????? (Preview) Peggy7 I have looked for you on the board and can't seem to locate you can you please pm me so i can contact you. Thanks Shadow/aka shad	shadow1	3	315	Jul 13, 2007 by shadow1
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.