Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Just found a post on the Step Work board - ACOA Common Behaviour Characteristics I have been desparately trying to find the Step Work programme so that I could join in, but I don't seem to be able to find that; however in the process I found the above post and it has blown my mind. Of the twelve characterist...

serendipity · serendipity

The other night a very kind woman who had been living with a nasty alcoholic for 20 years told him to come home now. He said he was on his way. She knew he wasn't and decided to do what she had done many times in the past, go to where he was and bitch and drag him home. She got in her car and was headed down the road....

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I went to my weekly alanon meeting yesterday. The topic was "grieving" ~ we discussed the various losses that we face in our lives - especially the ones that we don't necessarily realize. The loss of our childhood innocense. The loss of the dreams we may have had in our younger years ("...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Apparently I have created concerns with some people here in regards to things I have posted from outside resources, which I've always quoted the resource at the end of my post. I never meant to offend anyone, and am sorry it wasn't Alanon approved literature. I was posting things that had helped me in m...

Toni · Toni

A couple of months ago, I came here as a mother in crisis. I needed to vent and I needed feedback and some tools. My recovering meth addict daughter and I had reached the end of our rope and possibly our relationship. I read and soaked up as quickly as I could your responses to me and to each other and well, I...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Hi. I am an easy going person who always tries to find the fun and learn things. I am learning how to something that is very important to me. Something that I thought I would never be able to do because I had some sort of mental deficit. But then I found a teacher who believed in me and it wasn't as bad as I tho...

Unsure · Unsure

Well, I guess you could say that the sideswipe is starting to stop spinning me around as fast as it was, and I get to really start the 5 steps of the grief for my mom, even if it is off time. I had to wait to throw a house together, and deal with some of her issues before I could really start to accept and miss her...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I've been going through a difficult period of recovery since splitting from my A. We've been apart for months now and there is no contact....not even drunken calls, which does concern me sometimes! Anyway, its now nearly two years since I got into this programme (I did try before, years a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...

maresie2 · maresie2

Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...

Belladay · Belladay

I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...

Miranda · Miranda

How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a *positive* update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...

marmare · marmare

My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, My student has decided to go elsewhere for supervision and only for this board, I think I would be in deep trouble right now as in the last year, I feel I have grown and developed through this forum. I dealt with it in a very professional way and I did my best, acting as objectively as possible. I wi...

steadfast · steadfast

Hi everyone! I am new here and need advice from those who have walked in my shoes. I realized about 15 years ago that my DH is an A. His drinking goes in cycles and is currently on the rise again. I want to better understand what it means to be an enabler. There are some obvious ones, like buyting their be...

david62 · david62

Howdy ((((Family)))) I am going to be a speaker at a AA/Al-Anon Christmas party next month. The last time I did this I started my talk with a few jokes which had their origins in a post that was on this board some time back about humor. Some one had taken Jeff Foxworthy's "Ya may be a Redneck" co...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Wow I haven't been in here for awhile...sooo I thought I would catch up with some of you :] I am doing well. I am in school trying to keep busy. Being busy is a good thing for me. My mom(bitch) came to live with us,so that had been very tough on me,but what can I do??? I hate her!!! Maybe she will straighten up....

Belladay · Belladay

OK gang, now I get to tell you about some of my unhealthy behavior. It happened last night. I really don't know what to do about this and it upsets me terribly when it happens. I came home from work and made a salad for my husband and I and even brought it upstairs because we were going to eat in bed. Just a fun...

QOD · QOD

Hey everyone - I haven't posted in a while. But was just thinking how I only really post when I am down on myself and mad at the world - mainly my AH. Right now I am doing pretty good and thought - Hmm, why not post that today?! My AH is doing really well right now. He has been clean since mid July, working a go...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm still laughing at the irony here. I went to the grocery store last night at the urging (I should say pestering) of my teen daughter. We went together and left the other two at home. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with going down every isle (I guess that's a girl thing) and the phone beeps I got a msg. The...

Jill · Jill

he has all the hallmarks but he is so bad at manipulating me. i even tell him do you think that behavior is motivating? it rarely is. either the veil has lifted from me or - he's bad in that one alcoholic area. has the others down pat. just wondering --- Jill

maresie2 · maresie2

when I was totally fused to the A I used to wonder what people were talking about when they made the suggestion get busy. I was so busy obsessing about him, fretting, grieving, raging I did not have much space for anything else. lately I have been letting go of him, not thinking about him, deliberately...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just sending a pm to another member and recounting some old stories of times that I have suffered and come through it and was realizing that those times don't seem so bad now, they actually make for a good story. It always seems so bad when you're in it but you always come out with some revelation or l...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I just posted a response to ((((Carolinagirl's)))) Suffering and suddenly felt so full of gratitiude for this family sharing that I just had to tell you all. After posting on carolinagirl's Suffering post it made me rethink about the beauty of my daughter. Thinking of the times that she and her brot...

justmeagain · justmeagain

Well my fiance attempted suicide yesterday. Slit himself up then called his daughter to tell her he loved her. Left me 7 voice mails. Went to the hospital to see him, he had the typical alcoholic attitude. I stood my ground, did not take any crap from him at all, although he was not at all nasty with me. He...

afglin · afglin

I've been using java for chat here for a few years. Lately it caused me some pproblems. I had to download java again andnow the problems are worse. IF I try to enter the room does not fully load and I have to try agai. By that time I have a clone in the room. SO i looked into mirc. I saw one site that said free to tr...

NCC1701 · NCC1701

Just to say hello to everyone. Some of you know already that I attend a weekly study group. For the past two weeks we have been looking at forgiveness, with Lewis Smedes - the same video two weeks running! He outlines four stages of forgiveness, which I wanted to share with folks. 1 Acknowlegement th...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Hope In Hardship Anything Can Be Overcome The journey that each human being makes through earthly existence can have hardship as often as it is touched by joy. When we encounter adversity, the stress we feel can erode our optimism, eventually convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome....

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...it is funny how things work out. I have tried now for days to get into the chat room for support and listening and talking and observing but no matter what I still cannot get into the chat room. However my cousin, who lives in Texas and works the Al-anon 12 step programme too, has sent me a package contai...

Becky1 · Becky1

OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...

Heaven · Heaven

Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?

Belladay · Belladay

Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...

omajoy · omajoy

With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...

cstwwt · cstwwt

And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...

Belladay · Belladay

God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...

shellymcknight · shellymcknight

I recently ended my engagement b/c my SO is an alcoholic. In the past year the drinking has become completely out of control. He no longer bathes, changes his clothing or takes care of day to day living. The drinking starts at 9 AM and goes until he passes out. Generally after 10 PM. My problems in de...

corin · corin

My boyfriend was in jail for nine months, because of his drinking. The entire time he was locked up he would talk about how excited he is to begin his life again, sober. He would talk about how drinking had ruined his life. I was really excited that he finally realized his drinking was a problem (look w...

Christy · Christy

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Those who sent their warm wishes and prayers thank you so much. It helped just to know others cared. My brother will be flying home on Monday. They had her funeral yesturday. Debilyn, please let me know things to say or do because I don't understand what its like to lose a spouse...only bestfriends. My b...

serendipity · serendipity

I walk into my meeting this morning and sitting right across from me is ex's mother and his first ex wife. GAG! She has pulled this stunt before (his mother). A couple years ago. Made this big production as to how she was BACK! And NOTHING and NOBODY was going to keep her away. She came to like 3 meetings, ke...

debilyn · debilyn

geez, I need some special thoughts to hp please...... Today I was hooking up a lead to my llama Campbell, we are in an tiny corner, the neighbors three silly baby steers ran up. They scared llama who twisted around, rope went around my right leg, pulled me down, llama pushed me I landed on my tail bone on a s...

maresie2 · maresie2

One good thing about this weekend is that I finally feel like I am moving on from the A's chaos. I am not being pulled into my housemates chaos and craziness. I refuse to go into that kind of over involvment again. I keep my stuff firmly focused on my needs, what I need to do and where I am going. I don't go any f...

Belladay · Belladay

I have woken up early and couldn't wait to get online to see what has happened next in your lives. I think you guys are awesome and I hope you have the most wonderful day. I have posted responses to people so right now I don't have any epiphany to share. Just give me time, it will come. :) Talk to you soon, dear...

ddub · ddub

Spent the day with one of my kids away at college (who had called late last nite needing support), returned home to sons not getting along (taking things that bother them about our family out on each other perhaps), another son feeling no one understood or supported his interests and sons reported th...

beaulahg · beaulahg

just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked awa...

meagain · meagain

And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember th...

tenacious · tenacious

Hello everyone, First of all, let me tell you how glad I am to have found this site. This is all very new for me and was recommended to me by a good friend who has been to Al-Anon herself (her husband went through AA) and found it very helpful. They are still together and happy. Alcohol has been an increasi...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, My student contacted me late this week. I had given her an extension on work due as she cited difficulties. I made an appointment to see her the week after next and the times are difficult for her. However to see her asap, I chose to choose the times. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me and I decided to c...

ddub · ddub

My AH is a jerk tonight and we did try to talk off and on the last couple days until he became smug, belligerant and immature. I told him I had several things to talk with him during this quiet weekend. We've had a about 15 minute conversation 3 times over the last 2 days. Taking it slow, concise without t...

barisax · barisax

As some of you know, I backed into this program - I was born qualified for Alanon, but had to qualify fully for Alcoholics Anonymous first, and get sober, before finally showing up for Alanon to begin dealing with my own codependency issues... although I have never been married to an alcoholic, I've ha...

Belladay · Belladay

I am such a procrastinator! I have a test (self study 2 months) next Friday and I need to really study all day but I can't seem to focus. I feel like I need to just relax today and take some time off but I know I need to reread the book which is 600 pages. Yikes! But I do have a friend coming over to study with me. Sh...

dm0141 · dm0141

I posted last week when my husband took some medicine that belonged to my son for ADD. I try to keep it put up when he is home (out of respect for his addiction), but he came home early (usually gone for 2 weeks and home for 1 week from working offshore). I put the medicine up, but not in time. I knew he had ta...

verenda · verenda

I need to know something. Because we have alcoholics in our lives, does this mean that we are supposed to arrange our lives according to their disease, and base our decisions on whether or not they could influence the A to drink? It seems that this is being done among some of the members of my Alanon grou...

Belladay · Belladay

I had the oddest experience today. I was at work and I am studying with 3 other women I work with for this big test we will have next week. It is a 2 month self-study and it is by choice so we are taking this on ourselves. We have all been working hard to get this done and I am sure some of it was stress but one of the...

newday · newday

My ex-A and I have been broken up for about a year, after 7 years of dating/co-habitating. I am realistic about the relationship and the fact it will never work as long as he is sick. I am 42 with a great career, 2 awesome kids and a pretty happy life. My ex-A is not so lucky, but his choice.The thing is I sti...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Dysfunctional recognition (Preview) Just found a post on the Step Work board - ACOA Common Behaviour Characteristics I have been desparately trying to find the Step Work programme so that I could join in, but I don't seem to be able to find that; however in the process I found the above post and it has blown my mind. Of the twelve characterist...	Heartbroken	3	615	Nov 9, 2007 by Jen
	This could have been me (or you) (Preview) The other night a very kind woman who had been living with a nasty alcoholic for 20 years told him to come home now. He said he was on his way. She knew he wasn't and decided to do what she had done many times in the past, go to where he was and bitch and drag him home. She got in her car and was headed down the road....	serendipity	5	760	Nov 9, 2007 by Diva
	Grieving (Preview) I went to my weekly alanon meeting yesterday. The topic was "grieving" ~ we discussed the various losses that we face in our lives - especially the ones that we don't necessarily realize. The loss of our childhood innocense. The loss of the dreams we may have had in our younger years ("...	Positivelydee	11	793	Nov 9, 2007 by carosie
	Sincere apologies to everyone here (Preview) Apparently I have created concerns with some people here in regards to things I have posted from outside resources, which I've always quoted the resource at the end of my post. I never meant to offend anyone, and am sorry it wasn't Alanon approved literature. I was posting things that had helped me in m...	Tenderheartsks	5	1597	Nov 9, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Recognition and Acceptance (Preview) A couple of months ago, I came here as a mother in crisis. I needed to vent and I needed feedback and some tools. My recovering meth addict daughter and I had reached the end of our rope and possibly our relationship. I read and soaked up as quickly as I could your responses to me and to each other and well, I...	Toni	5	707	Nov 9, 2007 by Toni
	projecting negativity (Preview) Hi. I am an easy going person who always tries to find the fun and learn things. I am learning how to something that is very important to me. Something that I thought I would never be able to do because I had some sort of mental deficit. But then I found a teacher who believed in me and it wasn't as bad as I tho...	RainyJamie	6	622	Nov 8, 2007 by getoverit
	Intervention (Preview) Well, I guess you could say that the sideswipe is starting to stop spinning me around as fast as it was, and I get to really start the 5 steps of the grief for my mom, even if it is off time. I had to wait to throw a house together, and deal with some of her issues before I could really start to accept and miss her...	Unsure	4	529	Nov 8, 2007 by getoverit
	shocking reflection (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been going through a difficult period of recovery since splitting from my A. We've been apart for months now and there is no contact....not even drunken calls, which does concern me sometimes! Anyway, its now nearly two years since I got into this programme (I did try before, years a...	annmarie	4	1664	Nov 8, 2007 by hersh
	Today is the day. (Preview) I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...	carolinagirl	10	604	Nov 8, 2007 by Jen
	Detaching in process rather than stuck (Preview) Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...	maresie2	2	555	Nov 8, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: Stable (Preview) I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...	Belladay	3	438	Nov 8, 2007 by carosie
	Grumpy (Preview) I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...	carolinagirl	6	500	Nov 8, 2007 by carolinagirl
	The Boundaries Of Experience-Expanding Your Comfort Zone (Preview) The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...	Tenderheartsks	3	576	Nov 8, 2007 by ddub
	It's Been A LONG Time (Preview) How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a positive update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...	Miranda	4	636	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	Acceptance (Preview) My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...	marmare	4	375	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	My Addiction (Preview) Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...	Andrea12	10	564	Nov 7, 2007 by nmike
	re: progressing (Preview) Dear All, My student has decided to go elsewhere for supervision and only for this board, I think I would be in deep trouble right now as in the last year, I feel I have grown and developed through this forum. I dealt with it in a very professional way and I did my best, acting as objectively as possible. I wi...	maire rua	2	509	Nov 7, 2007 by nmike
	I'm new. I need help understanding Enabling (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new here and need advice from those who have walked in my shoes. I realized about 15 years ago that my DH is an A. His drinking goes in cycles and is currently on the rise again. I want to better understand what it means to be an enabler. There are some obvious ones, like buyting their be...	steadfast	10	787	Nov 7, 2007 by lin0606
	Ya May be an Alanonic! (Preview) Howdy ((((Family)))) I am going to be a speaker at a AA/Al-Anon Christmas party next month. The last time I did this I started my talk with a few jokes which had their origins in a post that was on this board some time back about humor. Some one had taken Jeff Foxworthy's "Ya may be a Redneck" co...	david62	12	2650	Nov 7, 2007 by cookie1971
	Hi all :] (Preview) Wow I haven't been in here for awhile...sooo I thought I would catch up with some of you :] I am doing well. I am in school trying to keep busy. Being busy is a good thing for me. My mom(bitch) came to live with us,so that had been very tough on me,but what can I do??? I hate her!!! Maybe she will straighten up....	Lauren ashley	4	574	Nov 7, 2007 by Andrea12
	RE: Confession (Preview) OK gang, now I get to tell you about some of my unhealthy behavior. It happened last night. I really don't know what to do about this and it upsets me terribly when it happens. I came home from work and made a salad for my husband and I and even brought it upstairs because we were going to eat in bed. Just a fun...	Belladay	10	1124	Nov 7, 2007 by Belladay
	Doing pretty good! (Preview) Hey everyone - I haven't posted in a while. But was just thinking how I only really post when I am down on myself and mad at the world - mainly my AH. Right now I am doing pretty good and thought - Hmm, why not post that today?! My AH is doing really well right now. He has been clean since mid July, working a go...	QOD	3	411	Nov 7, 2007 by maresie2
	HP to the rescue again... (Preview) I'm still laughing at the irony here. I went to the grocery store last night at the urging (I should say pestering) of my teen daughter. We went together and left the other two at home. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with going down every isle (I guess that's a girl thing) and the phone beeps I got a msg. The...	carolinagirl	8	688	Nov 7, 2007 by Jen
	he's BAD at manipulating (Preview) he has all the hallmarks but he is so bad at manipulating me. i even tell him do you think that behavior is motivating? it rarely is. either the veil has lifted from me or - he's bad in that one alcoholic area. has the others down pat. just wondering --- Jill	Jill	4	627	Nov 7, 2007 by Denoraphy
	getting busy (Preview) when I was totally fused to the A I used to wonder what people were talking about when they made the suggestion get busy. I was so busy obsessing about him, fretting, grieving, raging I did not have much space for anything else. lately I have been letting go of him, not thinking about him, deliberately...	maresie2	4	327	Nov 7, 2007 by Jean4444
	Suffering (Preview) I was just sending a pm to another member and recounting some old stories of times that I have suffered and come through it and was realizing that those times don't seem so bad now, they actually make for a good story. It always seems so bad when you're in it but you always come out with some revelation or l...	carolinagirl	6	422	Nov 7, 2007 by carolinagirl
	So grateful... (Preview) I just posted a response to ((((Carolinagirl's)))) Suffering and suddenly felt so full of gratitiude for this family sharing that I just had to tell you all. After posting on carolinagirl's Suffering post it made me rethink about the beauty of my daughter. Thinking of the times that she and her brot...	Heartbroken	1	407	Nov 7, 2007 by carolinagirl
	update....attempted suicide (Preview) Well my fiance attempted suicide yesterday. Slit himself up then called his daughter to tell her he loved her. Left me 7 voice mails. Went to the hospital to see him, he had the typical alcoholic attitude. I stood my ground, did not take any crap from him at all, although he was not at all nasty with me. He...	justmeagain	10	810	Nov 7, 2007 by Heartbroken
	help with mirc? (Preview) I've been using java for chat here for a few years. Lately it caused me some pproblems. I had to download java again andnow the problems are worse. IF I try to enter the room does not fully load and I have to try agai. By that time I have a clone in the room. SO i looked into mirc. I saw one site that said free to tr...	afglin	3	423	Nov 7, 2007 by afglin
	Forgiveness (Preview) Just to say hello to everyone. Some of you know already that I attend a weekly study group. For the past two weeks we have been looking at forgiveness, with Lewis Smedes - the same video two weeks running! He outlines four stages of forgiveness, which I wanted to share with folks. 1 Acknowlegement th...	NCC1701	4	447	Nov 7, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Hope In Hardship (Preview) Hope In Hardship Anything Can Be Overcome The journey that each human being makes through earthly existence can have hardship as often as it is touched by joy. When we encounter adversity, the stress we feel can erode our optimism, eventually convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome....	Tenderheartsks	3	443	Nov 7, 2007 by cookie1971
	Lovable and likeable...WHO ME? No I don't think so! (Preview) ...it is funny how things work out. I have tried now for days to get into the chat room for support and listening and talking and observing but no matter what I still cannot get into the chat room. However my cousin, who lives in Texas and works the Al-anon 12 step programme too, has sent me a package contai...	Heartbroken	4	587	Nov 6, 2007 by Jen
	Keith Urban (Preview) OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...	Becky1	5	400	Nov 6, 2007 by Becky1
	kinda funny, I think... (Preview) As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...	Loupiness	16	830	Nov 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	cheating (Preview) Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?	Heaven	3	466	Nov 6, 2007 by Heaven
	Veteran (Preview) Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...	Belladay	4	461	Nov 6, 2007 by abbyal
	family holidays with exes (Preview) With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...	omajoy	7	643	Nov 6, 2007 by shellymcknight
	The Secret (Preview) I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...	carolinagirl	8	655	Nov 6, 2007 by Christy
	needing to vent (Preview) And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...	cstwwt	5	498	Nov 6, 2007 by Kim65
	Just a Normal old day (Preview) God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...	Belladay	2	402	Nov 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Help me understand (Preview) I recently ended my engagement b/c my SO is an alcoholic. In the past year the drinking has become completely out of control. He no longer bathes, changes his clothing or takes care of day to day living. The drinking starts at 9 AM and goes until he passes out. Generally after 10 PM. My problems in de...	shellymcknight	9	489	Nov 6, 2007 by chef
	Entire Story... (Preview) My boyfriend was in jail for nine months, because of his drinking. The entire time he was locked up he would talk about how excited he is to begin his life again, sober. He would talk about how drinking had ruined his life. I was really excited that he finally realized his drinking was a problem (look w...	corin	6	600	Nov 6, 2007 by cookie1971
	Free Hugs :) (Preview)	Christy	11	539	Nov 5, 2007 by Heartbroken
	My SIL passed away on Halloween :( (Preview) Those who sent their warm wishes and prayers thank you so much. It helped just to know others cared. My brother will be flying home on Monday. They had her funeral yesturday. Debilyn, please let me know things to say or do because I don't understand what its like to lose a spouse...only bestfriends. My b...	Friendofyours	11	847	Nov 5, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Better get this out now (Preview) I walk into my meeting this morning and sitting right across from me is ex's mother and his first ex wife. GAG! She has pulled this stunt before (his mother). A couple years ago. Made this big production as to how she was BACK! And NOTHING and NOBODY was going to keep her away. She came to like 3 meetings, ke...	serendipity	8	699	Nov 5, 2007 by Jean4444
	Toe prints and still blaming A (Preview) geez, I need some special thoughts to hp please...... Today I was hooking up a lead to my llama Campbell, we are in an tiny corner, the neighbors three silly baby steers ran up. They scared llama who twisted around, rope went around my right leg, pulled me down, llama pushed me I landed on my tail bone on a s...	debilyn	5	689	Nov 5, 2007 by Jean4444
	moving on with moving on (Preview) One good thing about this weekend is that I finally feel like I am moving on from the A's chaos. I am not being pulled into my housemates chaos and craziness. I refuse to go into that kind of over involvment again. I keep my stuff firmly focused on my needs, what I need to do and where I am going. I don't go any f...	maresie2	5	531	Nov 5, 2007 by maresie2
	My Dear Friends (Preview) I have woken up early and couldn't wait to get online to see what has happened next in your lives. I think you guys are awesome and I hope you have the most wonderful day. I have posted responses to people so right now I don't have any epiphany to share. Just give me time, it will come. :) Talk to you soon, dear...	Belladay	3	418	Nov 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	all our children (Preview) Spent the day with one of my kids away at college (who had called late last nite needing support), returned home to sons not getting along (taking things that bother them about our family out on each other perhaps), another son feeling no one understood or supported his interests and sons reported th...	ddub	2	384	Nov 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	AN 80's Woman (Preview) just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked awa...	beaulahg	11	711	Nov 5, 2007 by beaulahg
	It's my birthday (Preview) And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember th...	meagain	7	589	Nov 5, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Hi, I'm new. I have a question. :) (Preview) Hello everyone, First of all, let me tell you how glad I am to have found this site. This is all very new for me and was recommended to me by a good friend who has been to Al-Anon herself (her husband went through AA) and found it very helpful. They are still together and happy. Alcohol has been an increasi...	tenacious	5	733	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	re: manipulative people (Preview) Hi All, My student contacted me late this week. I had given her an extension on work due as she cited difficulties. I made an appointment to see her the week after next and the times are difficult for her. However to see her asap, I chose to choose the times. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me and I decided to c...	maire rua	2	1517	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	Reality check - (Preview) My AH is a jerk tonight and we did try to talk off and on the last couple days until he became smug, belligerant and immature. I told him I had several things to talk with him during this quiet weekend. We've had a about 15 minute conversation 3 times over the last 2 days. Taking it slow, concise without t...	ddub	6	500	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	Alanons Who Drink (Preview) As some of you know, I backed into this program - I was born qualified for Alanon, but had to qualify fully for Alcoholics Anonymous first, and get sober, before finally showing up for Alanon to begin dealing with my own codependency issues... although I have never been married to an alcoholic, I've ha...	barisax	5	738	Nov 4, 2007 by abbyal
	Procrastinate (Preview) I am such a procrastinator! I have a test (self study 2 months) next Friday and I need to really study all day but I can't seem to focus. I feel like I need to just relax today and take some time off but I know I need to reread the book which is 600 pages. Yikes! But I do have a friend coming over to study with me. Sh...	Belladay	2	387	Nov 3, 2007 by Belladay
	Finally some honesty from A...... (Preview) I posted last week when my husband took some medicine that belonged to my son for ADD. I try to keep it put up when he is home (out of respect for his addiction), but he came home early (usually gone for 2 weeks and home for 1 week from working offshore). I put the medicine up, but not in time. I knew he had ta...	dm0141	5	624	Nov 3, 2007 by lin0606
	How do I handle this... (Preview) I need to know something. Because we have alcoholics in our lives, does this mean that we are supposed to arrange our lives according to their disease, and base our decisions on whether or not they could influence the A to drink? It seems that this is being done among some of the members of my Alanon grou...	verenda	11	772	Nov 3, 2007 by getoverit
	Shaking My Head (Preview) I had the oddest experience today. I was at work and I am studying with 3 other women I work with for this big test we will have next week. It is a 2 month self-study and it is by choice so we are taking this on ourselves. We have all been working hard to get this done and I am sure some of it was stress but one of the...	Belladay	3	438	Nov 3, 2007 by Jen
	Relationship w/ A vs. Controlling Mom (Preview) My ex-A and I have been broken up for about a year, after 7 years of dating/co-habitating. I am realistic about the relationship and the fact it will never work as long as he is sick. I am 42 with a great career, 2 awesome kids and a pretty happy life. My ex-A is not so lucky, but his choice.The thing is I sti...	newday	2	558	Nov 3, 2007 by Jen
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.