Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nycbt · nycbt

I found out that my husband was using herion again. I found out the other day that he was using when we went to the emergency room. He has been going to the meeting yesterday is when he started. I am hanging in there. I going to try and go to my meeting for face to face tonight. He is now taking a drug to help him...

elikapika · elikapika

Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a young mother of 2 little girls, and married to an alcoholic, drug user. My husband started AA in 2001, he did very well for his first year, he still has not had a drink since. He is also a drug user and has been for many years. He is not a constant user but has been caugh...

shimo · shimo

Please check for a private message. Thank you.

verenda · verenda

Hi everyone If you have read my topics you know that I have let my AH come back home. Now I am starting to regret my decision. Here is why and please tell me if I am being unreasonable or if he is reverting back to old abusive behaviors. It feels like the latter to me. Some background, my Ah was very emotionall...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH opened a letter, his face fell and he quietly walked to where (he thought) I couldn't see him. "What is it?" I say, being nosy "oh, it's nothing" he says, with his back to me. "I got a ticket a while ago, and now I have to go to court" "What kind of a ticket?" I c...

LocoMotions · LocoMotions

I know AA has helped countless people, BUT has anyone else here seen an A use it as an excuse to drink? My AH attributes his "mess ups" to the fact that he can't control himself and that it's a disease, which he says comes from AA. He has made a profession out of being an alcoholic. He started dr...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Good morning everyone, It's me again. Trying to work on a self preservation recipe. Why? Well further to my inventory of myself, as required when one reaches Step 4 - "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of self." - it all seems to be too late for me. I needed to do this twenty yea...

anahera · anahera

My husband is an alcoholic and I am a non-drinking non-alcoholic. Our experience of alcoholism seems to differ markedly in a couple of respects from all the stories we've come across (both online and in AA / Al-Anon meetings and literature). After 5 years of married hell I put myself through a recov...

New member-trying to figure this all out · Tree

I just joined and Thank you for the FAQ's they were helpful. I stumbled apon this website tonight in hopes of finding a chat for al anon. I have not really became a member of any al anon meetings in my town yet, but I did sit in on one but I was late so no one knew I was a newcomer. My husband is an alcoholic, we...

marmare · marmare

I am on my way to take my daughter in-law to hospital ER. She is the one with Cysic Fibrosis. Please say a prayer for her and the family. Last March she was given just 1 year. Hugs Mary

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I am beside myself. I am so full of anger right now. I got screwed over at work and did not receive my bonus. Everyone received their bonus, but me. I am also the only female. I'm starting to notice how oppressive the work environment is and I want to run away screaming. I am praying for HP to hel...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi everyone.... there has been a lot of discussion recently about the posting of religious statements/sentiments on this board, and what is appropriate, etc. Like many things, the answer isn't totally black & white, but I really think the summary below, which I posted (as a reprint) a few day...

canadianguy · canadianguy

It's often easy to fall into that "pity party" about how life isn't fair to us, particularly regarding our circumstances around addictions, etc... I laughed today at this quote, and thought it might bring a few smiles to you as well. Tom Expecting the world to treat you fairlyBecause y...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((Everyone)))) My A has had some kind of awakening. He is so remorseful ..... about everything. Only he wants to forget everything that has happened over the last three yrs since he's left us. I'm about to lose my mind. He's here constantly, pushing, wanting me to say that everything is going to be...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Family))))) This Sunday is our monthly business/group conscious meeting. The meeting will be at 8pm cst As of this time we dont have much on the agenda, if anyone has an item they would like to have considered for discussion, please send me a pm by tomorrow (Saturday) evening. Thanks! and Se...

babysteps · babysteps

I finally blew up at my AH last Friday. He had 34 days of sobriety that ended on 9/23, followed by about 34 days of chronic drinking. He was pulled over a week ago Wednesday and almost got a dui. If freaked him out but he came home drunk on Thursday. On Friday my check was rejected at Wal Mart because he kept ta...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today is going by REALLY REALLY slow! I just want it to be over. I'd like to sleep for the next week and not feel this! My lungs feel tight and I know if I had a cigarette they would open up, how ironic is that? I have been totally tired and antsy alternating all day. I know the coughing will start tomorro...

david62 · david62

Al-anon is a program which is supposed to be spread through attraction rather than promotion. How do we do this? We live our lives in a manner that might cause another person to look at us and wonder how do they live their life with so much peace, serenity, joy, happiness, kindness, tolerance, consid...

Heaven · Heaven

I read all of the posts and it all scares me so much. It seems as if I'm headed towards a divorce. I've always been concerned about my husband's drinking but this past year it has gotten worse. He'll get drunk and I'll do nothing to provoke him and he'll turn on me. So much anger. He takes it out on me and...

Belladay · Belladay

OK gang, today is my big test day at work. I have studied for 2 months for this and today is the day I take it. I came home last night from work and my SAH had two beautiful, supportive cards for me and then he took me out for steak. I got fil-a-minyon (sp?) mind you. Heck, that was worth the effort right there. I...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Just found a post on the Step Work board - ACOA Common Behaviour Characteristics I have been desparately trying to find the Step Work programme so that I could join in, but I don't seem to be able to find that; however in the process I found the above post and it has blown my mind. Of the twelve characterist...

serendipity · serendipity

The other night a very kind woman who had been living with a nasty alcoholic for 20 years told him to come home now. He said he was on his way. She knew he wasn't and decided to do what she had done many times in the past, go to where he was and bitch and drag him home. She got in her car and was headed down the road....

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

I went to my weekly alanon meeting yesterday. The topic was "grieving" ~ we discussed the various losses that we face in our lives - especially the ones that we don't necessarily realize. The loss of our childhood innocense. The loss of the dreams we may have had in our younger years ("...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Apparently I have created concerns with some people here in regards to things I have posted from outside resources, which I've always quoted the resource at the end of my post. I never meant to offend anyone, and am sorry it wasn't Alanon approved literature. I was posting things that had helped me in m...

Toni · Toni

A couple of months ago, I came here as a mother in crisis. I needed to vent and I needed feedback and some tools. My recovering meth addict daughter and I had reached the end of our rope and possibly our relationship. I read and soaked up as quickly as I could your responses to me and to each other and well, I...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Hi. I am an easy going person who always tries to find the fun and learn things. I am learning how to something that is very important to me. Something that I thought I would never be able to do because I had some sort of mental deficit. But then I found a teacher who believed in me and it wasn't as bad as I tho...

Unsure · Unsure

Well, I guess you could say that the sideswipe is starting to stop spinning me around as fast as it was, and I get to really start the 5 steps of the grief for my mom, even if it is off time. I had to wait to throw a house together, and deal with some of her issues before I could really start to accept and miss her...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I've been going through a difficult period of recovery since splitting from my A. We've been apart for months now and there is no contact....not even drunken calls, which does concern me sometimes! Anyway, its now nearly two years since I got into this programme (I did try before, years a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...

maresie2 · maresie2

Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...

Belladay · Belladay

I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...

Miranda · Miranda

How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a *positive* update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...

marmare · marmare

My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, My student has decided to go elsewhere for supervision and only for this board, I think I would be in deep trouble right now as in the last year, I feel I have grown and developed through this forum. I dealt with it in a very professional way and I did my best, acting as objectively as possible. I wi...

steadfast · steadfast

Hi everyone! I am new here and need advice from those who have walked in my shoes. I realized about 15 years ago that my DH is an A. His drinking goes in cycles and is currently on the rise again. I want to better understand what it means to be an enabler. There are some obvious ones, like buyting their be...

david62 · david62

Howdy ((((Family)))) I am going to be a speaker at a AA/Al-Anon Christmas party next month. The last time I did this I started my talk with a few jokes which had their origins in a post that was on this board some time back about humor. Some one had taken Jeff Foxworthy's "Ya may be a Redneck" co...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Wow I haven't been in here for awhile...sooo I thought I would catch up with some of you :] I am doing well. I am in school trying to keep busy. Being busy is a good thing for me. My mom(bitch) came to live with us,so that had been very tough on me,but what can I do??? I hate her!!! Maybe she will straighten up....

Belladay · Belladay

OK gang, now I get to tell you about some of my unhealthy behavior. It happened last night. I really don't know what to do about this and it upsets me terribly when it happens. I came home from work and made a salad for my husband and I and even brought it upstairs because we were going to eat in bed. Just a fun...

QOD · QOD

Hey everyone - I haven't posted in a while. But was just thinking how I only really post when I am down on myself and mad at the world - mainly my AH. Right now I am doing pretty good and thought - Hmm, why not post that today?! My AH is doing really well right now. He has been clean since mid July, working a go...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm still laughing at the irony here. I went to the grocery store last night at the urging (I should say pestering) of my teen daughter. We went together and left the other two at home. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with going down every isle (I guess that's a girl thing) and the phone beeps I got a msg. The...

Jill · Jill

he has all the hallmarks but he is so bad at manipulating me. i even tell him do you think that behavior is motivating? it rarely is. either the veil has lifted from me or - he's bad in that one alcoholic area. has the others down pat. just wondering --- Jill

maresie2 · maresie2

when I was totally fused to the A I used to wonder what people were talking about when they made the suggestion get busy. I was so busy obsessing about him, fretting, grieving, raging I did not have much space for anything else. lately I have been letting go of him, not thinking about him, deliberately...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just sending a pm to another member and recounting some old stories of times that I have suffered and come through it and was realizing that those times don't seem so bad now, they actually make for a good story. It always seems so bad when you're in it but you always come out with some revelation or l...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I just posted a response to ((((Carolinagirl's)))) Suffering and suddenly felt so full of gratitiude for this family sharing that I just had to tell you all. After posting on carolinagirl's Suffering post it made me rethink about the beauty of my daughter. Thinking of the times that she and her brot...

justmeagain · justmeagain

Well my fiance attempted suicide yesterday. Slit himself up then called his daughter to tell her he loved her. Left me 7 voice mails. Went to the hospital to see him, he had the typical alcoholic attitude. I stood my ground, did not take any crap from him at all, although he was not at all nasty with me. He...

afglin · afglin

I've been using java for chat here for a few years. Lately it caused me some pproblems. I had to download java again andnow the problems are worse. IF I try to enter the room does not fully load and I have to try agai. By that time I have a clone in the room. SO i looked into mirc. I saw one site that said free to tr...

NCC1701 · NCC1701

Just to say hello to everyone. Some of you know already that I attend a weekly study group. For the past two weeks we have been looking at forgiveness, with Lewis Smedes - the same video two weeks running! He outlines four stages of forgiveness, which I wanted to share with folks. 1 Acknowlegement th...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Hope In Hardship Anything Can Be Overcome The journey that each human being makes through earthly existence can have hardship as often as it is touched by joy. When we encounter adversity, the stress we feel can erode our optimism, eventually convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome....

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...it is funny how things work out. I have tried now for days to get into the chat room for support and listening and talking and observing but no matter what I still cannot get into the chat room. However my cousin, who lives in Texas and works the Al-anon 12 step programme too, has sent me a package contai...

Becky1 · Becky1

OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...

Heaven · Heaven

Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?

Belladay · Belladay

Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...

omajoy · omajoy

With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...

cstwwt · cstwwt

And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...

Belladay · Belladay

God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	USING AGAIN (Preview) I found out that my husband was using herion again. I found out the other day that he was using when we went to the emergency room. He has been going to the meeting yesterday is when he started. I am hanging in there. I going to try and go to my meeting for face to face tonight. He is now taking a drug to help him...	nycbt	7	476	Nov 11, 2007 by aunitedway
	Confused and feeling alone (Preview) Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a young mother of 2 little girls, and married to an alcoholic, drug user. My husband started AA in 2001, he did very well for his first year, he still has not had a drink since. He is also a drug user and has been for many years. He is not a constant user but has been caugh...	elikapika	3	667	Nov 11, 2007 by Heather72
	Peggy7 (Preview) Please check for a private message. Thank you.	shimo	0	548	Nov 11, 2007 by shimo
	Am I being Unreasonable (Preview) Hi everyone If you have read my topics you know that I have let my AH come back home. Now I am starting to regret my decision. Here is why and please tell me if I am being unreasonable or if he is reverting back to old abusive behaviors. It feels like the latter to me. Some background, my Ah was very emotionall...	verenda	13	795	Nov 11, 2007 by LocoMotions
	To know or know not? (Preview) AH opened a letter, his face fell and he quietly walked to where (he thought) I couldn't see him. "What is it?" I say, being nosy "oh, it's nothing" he says, with his back to me. "I got a ticket a while ago, and now I have to go to court" "What kind of a ticket?" I c...	RainyJamie	10	700	Nov 10, 2007 by RainyJamie
	(new here) Is it possible for AA to backfire?... (Preview) I know AA has helped countless people, BUT has anyone else here seen an A use it as an excuse to drink? My AH attributes his "mess ups" to the fact that he can't control himself and that it's a disease, which he says comes from AA. He has made a profession out of being an alcoholic. He started dr...	LocoMotions	10	741	Nov 10, 2007 by abbyal
	Self preservation recipe... working STEP 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone, It's me again. Trying to work on a self preservation recipe. Why? Well further to my inventory of myself, as required when one reaches Step 4 - "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of self." - it all seems to be too late for me. I needed to do this twenty yea...	Heartbroken	6	647	Nov 10, 2007 by Jen
	Marital Sex During Rehab (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic and I am a non-drinking non-alcoholic. Our experience of alcoholism seems to differ markedly in a couple of respects from all the stories we've come across (both online and in AA / Al-Anon meetings and literature). After 5 years of married hell I put myself through a recov...	anahera	3	723	Nov 10, 2007 by Diva
	New member-trying to figure this all out (Preview) I just joined and Thank you for the FAQ's they were helpful. I stumbled apon this website tonight in hopes of finding a chat for al anon. I have not really became a member of any al anon meetings in my town yet, but I did sit in on one but I was late so no one knew I was a newcomer. My husband is an alcoholic, we...	Tree	3	640	Nov 10, 2007 by david62
	Prayer Request (Preview) I am on my way to take my daughter in-law to hospital ER. She is the one with Cysic Fibrosis. Please say a prayer for her and the family. Last March she was given just 1 year. Hugs Mary	marmare	6	437	Nov 10, 2007 by carosie
	Seething with anger (Preview) Hi everyone, I am beside myself. I am so full of anger right now. I got screwed over at work and did not receive my bonus. Everyone received their bonus, but me. I am also the only female. I'm starting to notice how oppressive the work environment is and I want to run away screaming. I am praying for HP to hel...	kissers	5	704	Nov 10, 2007 by leo
	Religion in posts, Without Labels, etc (Preview) Hi everyone.... there has been a lot of discussion recently about the posting of religious statements/sentiments on this board, and what is appropriate, etc. Like many things, the answer isn't totally black & white, but I really think the summary below, which I posted (as a reprint) a few day...	canadianguy	2	731	Nov 10, 2007 by wp
	Quote that made me smile today (Preview) It's often easy to fall into that "pity party" about how life isn't fair to us, particularly regarding our circumstances around addictions, etc... I laughed today at this quote, and thought it might bring a few smiles to you as well. Tom Expecting the world to treat you fairlyBecause y...	canadianguy	7	694	Nov 10, 2007 by cookie1971
	Sobriety?? maybe... (Preview) (((Everyone)))) My A has had some kind of awakening. He is so remorseful ..... about everything. Only he wants to forget everything that has happened over the last three yrs since he's left us. I'm about to lose my mind. He's here constantly, pushing, wanting me to say that everything is going to be...	Lunamoth	5	738	Nov 9, 2007 by abbyal
	November Business Meeting - This Sunday! (Preview) Hello ((((Family))))) This Sunday is our monthly business/group conscious meeting. The meeting will be at 8pm cst As of this time we dont have much on the agenda, if anyone has an item they would like to have considered for discussion, please send me a pm by tomorrow (Saturday) evening. Thanks! and Se...	david62	0	368	Nov 9, 2007 by david62
	The days after the storm (Preview) I finally blew up at my AH last Friday. He had 34 days of sobriety that ended on 9/23, followed by about 34 days of chronic drinking. He was pulled over a week ago Wednesday and almost got a dui. If freaked him out but he came home drunk on Thursday. On Friday my check was rejected at Wal Mart because he kept ta...	babysteps	4	660	Nov 9, 2007 by Jen
	I want to rip my lungs out! (Preview) Today is going by REALLY REALLY slow! I just want it to be over. I'd like to sleep for the next week and not feel this! My lungs feel tight and I know if I had a cigarette they would open up, how ironic is that? I have been totally tired and antsy alternating all day. I know the coughing will start tomorro...	carolinagirl	11	848	Nov 9, 2007 by Chetch
	My Al-Anon Religion (Preview) Al-anon is a program which is supposed to be spread through attraction rather than promotion. How do we do this? We live our lives in a manner that might cause another person to look at us and wonder how do they live their life with so much peace, serenity, joy, happiness, kindness, tolerance, consid...	david62	3	632	Nov 9, 2007 by bob6502
	I'm so afraid. (Preview) I read all of the posts and it all scares me so much. It seems as if I'm headed towards a divorce. I've always been concerned about my husband's drinking but this past year it has gotten worse. He'll get drunk and I'll do nothing to provoke him and he'll turn on me. So much anger. He takes it out on me and...	Heaven	12	619	Nov 9, 2007 by barisax
	Today Is The Day (Preview) OK gang, today is my big test day at work. I have studied for 2 months for this and today is the day I take it. I came home last night from work and my SAH had two beautiful, supportive cards for me and then he took me out for steak. I got fil-a-minyon (sp?) mind you. Heck, that was worth the effort right there. I...	Belladay	5	632	Nov 9, 2007 by Jen
	Dysfunctional recognition (Preview) Just found a post on the Step Work board - ACOA Common Behaviour Characteristics I have been desparately trying to find the Step Work programme so that I could join in, but I don't seem to be able to find that; however in the process I found the above post and it has blown my mind. Of the twelve characterist...	Heartbroken	3	655	Nov 9, 2007 by Jen
	This could have been me (or you) (Preview) The other night a very kind woman who had been living with a nasty alcoholic for 20 years told him to come home now. He said he was on his way. She knew he wasn't and decided to do what she had done many times in the past, go to where he was and bitch and drag him home. She got in her car and was headed down the road....	serendipity	5	786	Nov 9, 2007 by Diva
	Grieving (Preview) I went to my weekly alanon meeting yesterday. The topic was "grieving" ~ we discussed the various losses that we face in our lives - especially the ones that we don't necessarily realize. The loss of our childhood innocense. The loss of the dreams we may have had in our younger years ("...	Positivelydee	11	840	Nov 9, 2007 by carosie
	Sincere apologies to everyone here (Preview) Apparently I have created concerns with some people here in regards to things I have posted from outside resources, which I've always quoted the resource at the end of my post. I never meant to offend anyone, and am sorry it wasn't Alanon approved literature. I was posting things that had helped me in m...	Tenderheartsks	5	1684	Nov 9, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Recognition and Acceptance (Preview) A couple of months ago, I came here as a mother in crisis. I needed to vent and I needed feedback and some tools. My recovering meth addict daughter and I had reached the end of our rope and possibly our relationship. I read and soaked up as quickly as I could your responses to me and to each other and well, I...	Toni	5	742	Nov 9, 2007 by Toni
	projecting negativity (Preview) Hi. I am an easy going person who always tries to find the fun and learn things. I am learning how to something that is very important to me. Something that I thought I would never be able to do because I had some sort of mental deficit. But then I found a teacher who believed in me and it wasn't as bad as I tho...	RainyJamie	6	656	Nov 8, 2007 by getoverit
	Intervention (Preview) Well, I guess you could say that the sideswipe is starting to stop spinning me around as fast as it was, and I get to really start the 5 steps of the grief for my mom, even if it is off time. I had to wait to throw a house together, and deal with some of her issues before I could really start to accept and miss her...	Unsure	4	569	Nov 8, 2007 by getoverit
	shocking reflection (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been going through a difficult period of recovery since splitting from my A. We've been apart for months now and there is no contact....not even drunken calls, which does concern me sometimes! Anyway, its now nearly two years since I got into this programme (I did try before, years a...	annmarie	4	1698	Nov 8, 2007 by hersh
	Today is the day. (Preview) I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...	carolinagirl	10	632	Nov 8, 2007 by Jen
	Detaching in process rather than stuck (Preview) Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...	maresie2	2	581	Nov 8, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: Stable (Preview) I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...	Belladay	3	488	Nov 8, 2007 by carosie
	Grumpy (Preview) I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...	carolinagirl	6	569	Nov 8, 2007 by carolinagirl
	The Boundaries Of Experience-Expanding Your Comfort Zone (Preview) The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...	Tenderheartsks	3	606	Nov 8, 2007 by ddub
	It's Been A LONG Time (Preview) How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a positive update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...	Miranda	4	666	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	Acceptance (Preview) My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...	marmare	4	434	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	My Addiction (Preview) Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...	Andrea12	10	601	Nov 7, 2007 by nmike
	re: progressing (Preview) Dear All, My student has decided to go elsewhere for supervision and only for this board, I think I would be in deep trouble right now as in the last year, I feel I have grown and developed through this forum. I dealt with it in a very professional way and I did my best, acting as objectively as possible. I wi...	maire rua	2	552	Nov 7, 2007 by nmike
	I'm new. I need help understanding Enabling (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new here and need advice from those who have walked in my shoes. I realized about 15 years ago that my DH is an A. His drinking goes in cycles and is currently on the rise again. I want to better understand what it means to be an enabler. There are some obvious ones, like buyting their be...	steadfast	10	825	Nov 7, 2007 by lin0606
	Ya May be an Alanonic! (Preview) Howdy ((((Family)))) I am going to be a speaker at a AA/Al-Anon Christmas party next month. The last time I did this I started my talk with a few jokes which had their origins in a post that was on this board some time back about humor. Some one had taken Jeff Foxworthy's "Ya may be a Redneck" co...	david62	12	2726	Nov 7, 2007 by cookie1971
	Hi all :] (Preview) Wow I haven't been in here for awhile...sooo I thought I would catch up with some of you :] I am doing well. I am in school trying to keep busy. Being busy is a good thing for me. My mom(bitch) came to live with us,so that had been very tough on me,but what can I do??? I hate her!!! Maybe she will straighten up....	Lauren ashley	4	613	Nov 7, 2007 by Andrea12
	RE: Confession (Preview) OK gang, now I get to tell you about some of my unhealthy behavior. It happened last night. I really don't know what to do about this and it upsets me terribly when it happens. I came home from work and made a salad for my husband and I and even brought it upstairs because we were going to eat in bed. Just a fun...	Belladay	10	1168	Nov 7, 2007 by Belladay
	Doing pretty good! (Preview) Hey everyone - I haven't posted in a while. But was just thinking how I only really post when I am down on myself and mad at the world - mainly my AH. Right now I am doing pretty good and thought - Hmm, why not post that today?! My AH is doing really well right now. He has been clean since mid July, working a go...	QOD	3	441	Nov 7, 2007 by maresie2
	HP to the rescue again... (Preview) I'm still laughing at the irony here. I went to the grocery store last night at the urging (I should say pestering) of my teen daughter. We went together and left the other two at home. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with going down every isle (I guess that's a girl thing) and the phone beeps I got a msg. The...	carolinagirl	8	720	Nov 7, 2007 by Jen
	he's BAD at manipulating (Preview) he has all the hallmarks but he is so bad at manipulating me. i even tell him do you think that behavior is motivating? it rarely is. either the veil has lifted from me or - he's bad in that one alcoholic area. has the others down pat. just wondering --- Jill	Jill	4	668	Nov 7, 2007 by Denoraphy
	getting busy (Preview) when I was totally fused to the A I used to wonder what people were talking about when they made the suggestion get busy. I was so busy obsessing about him, fretting, grieving, raging I did not have much space for anything else. lately I have been letting go of him, not thinking about him, deliberately...	maresie2	4	359	Nov 7, 2007 by Jean4444
	Suffering (Preview) I was just sending a pm to another member and recounting some old stories of times that I have suffered and come through it and was realizing that those times don't seem so bad now, they actually make for a good story. It always seems so bad when you're in it but you always come out with some revelation or l...	carolinagirl	6	490	Nov 7, 2007 by carolinagirl
	So grateful... (Preview) I just posted a response to ((((Carolinagirl's)))) Suffering and suddenly felt so full of gratitiude for this family sharing that I just had to tell you all. After posting on carolinagirl's Suffering post it made me rethink about the beauty of my daughter. Thinking of the times that she and her brot...	Heartbroken	1	447	Nov 7, 2007 by carolinagirl
	update....attempted suicide (Preview) Well my fiance attempted suicide yesterday. Slit himself up then called his daughter to tell her he loved her. Left me 7 voice mails. Went to the hospital to see him, he had the typical alcoholic attitude. I stood my ground, did not take any crap from him at all, although he was not at all nasty with me. He...	justmeagain	10	846	Nov 7, 2007 by Heartbroken
	help with mirc? (Preview) I've been using java for chat here for a few years. Lately it caused me some pproblems. I had to download java again andnow the problems are worse. IF I try to enter the room does not fully load and I have to try agai. By that time I have a clone in the room. SO i looked into mirc. I saw one site that said free to tr...	afglin	3	454	Nov 7, 2007 by afglin
	Forgiveness (Preview) Just to say hello to everyone. Some of you know already that I attend a weekly study group. For the past two weeks we have been looking at forgiveness, with Lewis Smedes - the same video two weeks running! He outlines four stages of forgiveness, which I wanted to share with folks. 1 Acknowlegement th...	NCC1701	4	515	Nov 7, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Hope In Hardship (Preview) Hope In Hardship Anything Can Be Overcome The journey that each human being makes through earthly existence can have hardship as often as it is touched by joy. When we encounter adversity, the stress we feel can erode our optimism, eventually convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome....	Tenderheartsks	3	474	Nov 7, 2007 by cookie1971
	Lovable and likeable...WHO ME? No I don't think so! (Preview) ...it is funny how things work out. I have tried now for days to get into the chat room for support and listening and talking and observing but no matter what I still cannot get into the chat room. However my cousin, who lives in Texas and works the Al-anon 12 step programme too, has sent me a package contai...	Heartbroken	4	619	Nov 6, 2007 by Jen
	Keith Urban (Preview) OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...	Becky1	5	440	Nov 6, 2007 by Becky1
	kinda funny, I think... (Preview) As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...	Loupiness	16	861	Nov 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	cheating (Preview) Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?	Heaven	3	528	Nov 6, 2007 by Heaven
	Veteran (Preview) Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...	Belladay	4	524	Nov 6, 2007 by abbyal
	family holidays with exes (Preview) With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...	omajoy	7	678	Nov 6, 2007 by shellymcknight
	The Secret (Preview) I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...	carolinagirl	8	694	Nov 6, 2007 by Christy
	needing to vent (Preview) And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...	cstwwt	5	526	Nov 6, 2007 by Kim65
	Just a Normal old day (Preview) God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...	Belladay	2	433	Nov 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.