Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...

maresie2 · maresie2

Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...

Belladay · Belladay

I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...

Miranda · Miranda

How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a *positive* update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...

marmare · marmare

My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, My student has decided to go elsewhere for supervision and only for this board, I think I would be in deep trouble right now as in the last year, I feel I have grown and developed through this forum. I dealt with it in a very professional way and I did my best, acting as objectively as possible. I wi...

steadfast · steadfast

Hi everyone! I am new here and need advice from those who have walked in my shoes. I realized about 15 years ago that my DH is an A. His drinking goes in cycles and is currently on the rise again. I want to better understand what it means to be an enabler. There are some obvious ones, like buyting their be...

david62 · david62

Howdy ((((Family)))) I am going to be a speaker at a AA/Al-Anon Christmas party next month. The last time I did this I started my talk with a few jokes which had their origins in a post that was on this board some time back about humor. Some one had taken Jeff Foxworthy's "Ya may be a Redneck" co...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Wow I haven't been in here for awhile...sooo I thought I would catch up with some of you :] I am doing well. I am in school trying to keep busy. Being busy is a good thing for me. My mom(bitch) came to live with us,so that had been very tough on me,but what can I do??? I hate her!!! Maybe she will straighten up....

Belladay · Belladay

OK gang, now I get to tell you about some of my unhealthy behavior. It happened last night. I really don't know what to do about this and it upsets me terribly when it happens. I came home from work and made a salad for my husband and I and even brought it upstairs because we were going to eat in bed. Just a fun...

QOD · QOD

Hey everyone - I haven't posted in a while. But was just thinking how I only really post when I am down on myself and mad at the world - mainly my AH. Right now I am doing pretty good and thought - Hmm, why not post that today?! My AH is doing really well right now. He has been clean since mid July, working a go...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm still laughing at the irony here. I went to the grocery store last night at the urging (I should say pestering) of my teen daughter. We went together and left the other two at home. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with going down every isle (I guess that's a girl thing) and the phone beeps I got a msg. The...

Jill · Jill

he has all the hallmarks but he is so bad at manipulating me. i even tell him do you think that behavior is motivating? it rarely is. either the veil has lifted from me or - he's bad in that one alcoholic area. has the others down pat. just wondering --- Jill

maresie2 · maresie2

when I was totally fused to the A I used to wonder what people were talking about when they made the suggestion get busy. I was so busy obsessing about him, fretting, grieving, raging I did not have much space for anything else. lately I have been letting go of him, not thinking about him, deliberately...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just sending a pm to another member and recounting some old stories of times that I have suffered and come through it and was realizing that those times don't seem so bad now, they actually make for a good story. It always seems so bad when you're in it but you always come out with some revelation or l...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I just posted a response to ((((Carolinagirl's)))) Suffering and suddenly felt so full of gratitiude for this family sharing that I just had to tell you all. After posting on carolinagirl's Suffering post it made me rethink about the beauty of my daughter. Thinking of the times that she and her brot...

justmeagain · justmeagain

Well my fiance attempted suicide yesterday. Slit himself up then called his daughter to tell her he loved her. Left me 7 voice mails. Went to the hospital to see him, he had the typical alcoholic attitude. I stood my ground, did not take any crap from him at all, although he was not at all nasty with me. He...

afglin · afglin

I've been using java for chat here for a few years. Lately it caused me some pproblems. I had to download java again andnow the problems are worse. IF I try to enter the room does not fully load and I have to try agai. By that time I have a clone in the room. SO i looked into mirc. I saw one site that said free to tr...

NCC1701 · NCC1701

Just to say hello to everyone. Some of you know already that I attend a weekly study group. For the past two weeks we have been looking at forgiveness, with Lewis Smedes - the same video two weeks running! He outlines four stages of forgiveness, which I wanted to share with folks. 1 Acknowlegement th...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Hope In Hardship Anything Can Be Overcome The journey that each human being makes through earthly existence can have hardship as often as it is touched by joy. When we encounter adversity, the stress we feel can erode our optimism, eventually convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome....

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...it is funny how things work out. I have tried now for days to get into the chat room for support and listening and talking and observing but no matter what I still cannot get into the chat room. However my cousin, who lives in Texas and works the Al-anon 12 step programme too, has sent me a package contai...

Becky1 · Becky1

OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...

Heaven · Heaven

Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?

Belladay · Belladay

Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...

omajoy · omajoy

With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...

cstwwt · cstwwt

And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...

Belladay · Belladay

God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...

shellymcknight · shellymcknight

I recently ended my engagement b/c my SO is an alcoholic. In the past year the drinking has become completely out of control. He no longer bathes, changes his clothing or takes care of day to day living. The drinking starts at 9 AM and goes until he passes out. Generally after 10 PM. My problems in de...

corin · corin

My boyfriend was in jail for nine months, because of his drinking. The entire time he was locked up he would talk about how excited he is to begin his life again, sober. He would talk about how drinking had ruined his life. I was really excited that he finally realized his drinking was a problem (look w...

Christy · Christy

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Those who sent their warm wishes and prayers thank you so much. It helped just to know others cared. My brother will be flying home on Monday. They had her funeral yesturday. Debilyn, please let me know things to say or do because I don't understand what its like to lose a spouse...only bestfriends. My b...

serendipity · serendipity

I walk into my meeting this morning and sitting right across from me is ex's mother and his first ex wife. GAG! She has pulled this stunt before (his mother). A couple years ago. Made this big production as to how she was BACK! And NOTHING and NOBODY was going to keep her away. She came to like 3 meetings, ke...

debilyn · debilyn

geez, I need some special thoughts to hp please...... Today I was hooking up a lead to my llama Campbell, we are in an tiny corner, the neighbors three silly baby steers ran up. They scared llama who twisted around, rope went around my right leg, pulled me down, llama pushed me I landed on my tail bone on a s...

maresie2 · maresie2

One good thing about this weekend is that I finally feel like I am moving on from the A's chaos. I am not being pulled into my housemates chaos and craziness. I refuse to go into that kind of over involvment again. I keep my stuff firmly focused on my needs, what I need to do and where I am going. I don't go any f...

Belladay · Belladay

I have woken up early and couldn't wait to get online to see what has happened next in your lives. I think you guys are awesome and I hope you have the most wonderful day. I have posted responses to people so right now I don't have any epiphany to share. Just give me time, it will come. :) Talk to you soon, dear...

ddub · ddub

Spent the day with one of my kids away at college (who had called late last nite needing support), returned home to sons not getting along (taking things that bother them about our family out on each other perhaps), another son feeling no one understood or supported his interests and sons reported th...

beaulahg · beaulahg

just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked awa...

meagain · meagain

And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember th...

tenacious · tenacious

Hello everyone, First of all, let me tell you how glad I am to have found this site. This is all very new for me and was recommended to me by a good friend who has been to Al-Anon herself (her husband went through AA) and found it very helpful. They are still together and happy. Alcohol has been an increasi...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, My student contacted me late this week. I had given her an extension on work due as she cited difficulties. I made an appointment to see her the week after next and the times are difficult for her. However to see her asap, I chose to choose the times. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me and I decided to c...

ddub · ddub

My AH is a jerk tonight and we did try to talk off and on the last couple days until he became smug, belligerant and immature. I told him I had several things to talk with him during this quiet weekend. We've had a about 15 minute conversation 3 times over the last 2 days. Taking it slow, concise without t...

barisax · barisax

As some of you know, I backed into this program - I was born qualified for Alanon, but had to qualify fully for Alcoholics Anonymous first, and get sober, before finally showing up for Alanon to begin dealing with my own codependency issues... although I have never been married to an alcoholic, I've ha...

Belladay · Belladay

I am such a procrastinator! I have a test (self study 2 months) next Friday and I need to really study all day but I can't seem to focus. I feel like I need to just relax today and take some time off but I know I need to reread the book which is 600 pages. Yikes! But I do have a friend coming over to study with me. Sh...

dm0141 · dm0141

I posted last week when my husband took some medicine that belonged to my son for ADD. I try to keep it put up when he is home (out of respect for his addiction), but he came home early (usually gone for 2 weeks and home for 1 week from working offshore). I put the medicine up, but not in time. I knew he had ta...

verenda · verenda

I need to know something. Because we have alcoholics in our lives, does this mean that we are supposed to arrange our lives according to their disease, and base our decisions on whether or not they could influence the A to drink? It seems that this is being done among some of the members of my Alanon grou...

Belladay · Belladay

I had the oddest experience today. I was at work and I am studying with 3 other women I work with for this big test we will have next week. It is a 2 month self-study and it is by choice so we are taking this on ourselves. We have all been working hard to get this done and I am sure some of it was stress but one of the...

newday · newday

My ex-A and I have been broken up for about a year, after 7 years of dating/co-habitating. I am realistic about the relationship and the fact it will never work as long as he is sick. I am 42 with a great career, 2 awesome kids and a pretty happy life. My ex-A is not so lucky, but his choice.The thing is I sti...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

what do you guys say when people ask how your alcoholic is? He and I no longer live together but we may reconcile. I have come to a point where I will no longer go into it when friends/family ask about our relationship and how I am doing. In the past I would SIGH and say something like..."its OK or its...

PURRCEY · PURRCEY

I just asked told the Love of my life to get out - I know he needs help but I can not take his drinking anymore. He keeps justifing his drinking by telling me he never hurt me and he is a good provider. He is right on one count - He is an excelent provider and he has never hit me when he drinks but I can not make h...

leo · leo

Note to my husband, You are making a choice about our marriage by choosing to drink bourbon again. I then have the right to choose whether I endure another round of the consequences and effect on me. Please do not try to talk to me I am too upset this is a boundary to protect myself. Leo

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

I've learned a gret deal lurking in this forum and reading the collective wisdom found here, thank-you. Here's another question I have: How do you handle the lying aspects of someone who is an A? Relationships are built on trust and of course A destroys that trust when the A is in relapse or freshly out o...

Belladay · Belladay

Leo, I am sorry you are going through this again. I know how you feel. I finally left my AH but he had gotten alot worse and acted out in really bad ways before I left. It is so hard to deal with it. I stayed 5 years after he relapsed. I was in literal hell before I left. I am so glad I got the courage up to do it. He wa...

Chetch · Chetch

Here I am again. My husband is still sober, but was in an automobile accident a few weeks ago and told me that a truck had run a stop sign and hit him. He went to the hospital with neck and shoulder injuries that seemed to heal remarkably fast. Last night he presents me with the police report showing that...

shellymcknight · shellymcknight

I got a call yesterday from my A. I do still love him and someone said it sounded like I wasn't done with him. They were so right. He told me how much he loves me and that he doesn't want to be without me but isn't ready to give up alcohol. He said he needed to do it for himself and that it had to be his decision...

Kim65 · Kim65

I hit rock bottom (and then some) in my checking account. It's all gone, the farm money, whatever it was, it's gone now, sort of the end of an era, I guess. Thankfully I just got my retirement fund check from my previous job, only 1500 bucks, but it looks like a lot to me right now. My plan was to deposit so...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Today is the day. (Preview) I decided I am quitting smoking today. Ok so this is about the 10th time I have "quit" in the past six months ever since picking those nasty things up again after 1 1/2 years of being smoke free. So today and for the rest of this long weekend (I am off till Wed. after today) I am praying for stren...	carolinagirl	10	557	Nov 8, 2007 by Jen
	Detaching in process rather than stuck (Preview) Last night I spoke to the A who was in his normal blame everyone else mode for his life. He immediately started in on all the stuff I did not allow him to do in the past. I brought it up to the present and told him firmly that I was in no way shape or form preventing him from doing anything at all in the present sin...	maresie2	2	507	Nov 8, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: Stable (Preview) I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. I just love posting here and reading and responding to what people are saying. I am starting to recognize user names now and get excited to read what has happened next. I was in a bad space today from my last post and you all were so supportive th...	Belladay	3	364	Nov 8, 2007 by carosie
	Grumpy (Preview) I just talked to my MIL and found out that my A's po is requiring him to inform potential employers that he is a felon. He has never had this requirement before and has always had a really easy time getting good jobs. She said if he doesn't that will be a violation of his parole. In addition to that he has t...	carolinagirl	6	447	Nov 8, 2007 by carolinagirl
	The Boundaries Of Experience-Expanding Your Comfort Zone (Preview) The Boundaries Of Experience Expanding Your Comfort Zone None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of h...	Tenderheartsks	3	526	Nov 8, 2007 by ddub
	It's Been A LONG Time (Preview) How is everyone?! I haven't been on in here FOREVER...things are still a tad crazy ;) but that's how I like it right? Haha I just wanted to give everyone a positive update!!! We'll start with the kiddies: Arianna (6)-Started 2nd grade and is KICKIN BUTT. Haha got her report card Friday...STRAIGHT A'...	Miranda	4	588	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	Acceptance (Preview) My son and his family (total of 5) have been staying with us since August. They are awaiting their furniture to get here, they have found a rental and even with the big adjustment for us we have done okay but last night there was blow up and I realized that my son has been gone for 4 years and doesn't know the...	marmare	4	322	Nov 8, 2007 by leo
	My Addiction (Preview) Hello Friends, I have a few things I would like to share with you....I have been coming a couple of years now, except for the past few months. Well, it's time to let you know a few things or reasons I wasn't around. I feel I must be honest in order for me to continue my jorney with you wonderful people. When...	Andrea12	10	511	Nov 7, 2007 by nmike
	re: progressing (Preview) Dear All, My student has decided to go elsewhere for supervision and only for this board, I think I would be in deep trouble right now as in the last year, I feel I have grown and developed through this forum. I dealt with it in a very professional way and I did my best, acting as objectively as possible. I wi...	maire rua	2	431	Nov 7, 2007 by nmike
	I'm new. I need help understanding Enabling (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new here and need advice from those who have walked in my shoes. I realized about 15 years ago that my DH is an A. His drinking goes in cycles and is currently on the rise again. I want to better understand what it means to be an enabler. There are some obvious ones, like buyting their be...	steadfast	10	730	Nov 7, 2007 by lin0606
	Ya May be an Alanonic! (Preview) Howdy ((((Family)))) I am going to be a speaker at a AA/Al-Anon Christmas party next month. The last time I did this I started my talk with a few jokes which had their origins in a post that was on this board some time back about humor. Some one had taken Jeff Foxworthy's "Ya may be a Redneck" co...	david62	12	2462	Nov 7, 2007 by cookie1971
	Hi all :] (Preview) Wow I haven't been in here for awhile...sooo I thought I would catch up with some of you :] I am doing well. I am in school trying to keep busy. Being busy is a good thing for me. My mom(bitch) came to live with us,so that had been very tough on me,but what can I do??? I hate her!!! Maybe she will straighten up....	Lauren ashley	4	523	Nov 7, 2007 by Andrea12
	RE: Confession (Preview) OK gang, now I get to tell you about some of my unhealthy behavior. It happened last night. I really don't know what to do about this and it upsets me terribly when it happens. I came home from work and made a salad for my husband and I and even brought it upstairs because we were going to eat in bed. Just a fun...	Belladay	10	1056	Nov 7, 2007 by Belladay
	Doing pretty good! (Preview) Hey everyone - I haven't posted in a while. But was just thinking how I only really post when I am down on myself and mad at the world - mainly my AH. Right now I am doing pretty good and thought - Hmm, why not post that today?! My AH is doing really well right now. He has been clean since mid July, working a go...	QOD	3	364	Nov 7, 2007 by maresie2
	HP to the rescue again... (Preview) I'm still laughing at the irony here. I went to the grocery store last night at the urging (I should say pestering) of my teen daughter. We went together and left the other two at home. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with going down every isle (I guess that's a girl thing) and the phone beeps I got a msg. The...	carolinagirl	8	640	Nov 7, 2007 by Jen
	he's BAD at manipulating (Preview) he has all the hallmarks but he is so bad at manipulating me. i even tell him do you think that behavior is motivating? it rarely is. either the veil has lifted from me or - he's bad in that one alcoholic area. has the others down pat. just wondering --- Jill	Jill	4	574	Nov 7, 2007 by Denoraphy
	getting busy (Preview) when I was totally fused to the A I used to wonder what people were talking about when they made the suggestion get busy. I was so busy obsessing about him, fretting, grieving, raging I did not have much space for anything else. lately I have been letting go of him, not thinking about him, deliberately...	maresie2	4	278	Nov 7, 2007 by Jean4444
	Suffering (Preview) I was just sending a pm to another member and recounting some old stories of times that I have suffered and come through it and was realizing that those times don't seem so bad now, they actually make for a good story. It always seems so bad when you're in it but you always come out with some revelation or l...	carolinagirl	6	375	Nov 7, 2007 by carolinagirl
	So grateful... (Preview) I just posted a response to ((((Carolinagirl's)))) Suffering and suddenly felt so full of gratitiude for this family sharing that I just had to tell you all. After posting on carolinagirl's Suffering post it made me rethink about the beauty of my daughter. Thinking of the times that she and her brot...	Heartbroken	1	359	Nov 7, 2007 by carolinagirl
	update....attempted suicide (Preview) Well my fiance attempted suicide yesterday. Slit himself up then called his daughter to tell her he loved her. Left me 7 voice mails. Went to the hospital to see him, he had the typical alcoholic attitude. I stood my ground, did not take any crap from him at all, although he was not at all nasty with me. He...	justmeagain	10	757	Nov 7, 2007 by Heartbroken
	help with mirc? (Preview) I've been using java for chat here for a few years. Lately it caused me some pproblems. I had to download java again andnow the problems are worse. IF I try to enter the room does not fully load and I have to try agai. By that time I have a clone in the room. SO i looked into mirc. I saw one site that said free to tr...	afglin	3	377	Nov 7, 2007 by afglin
	Forgiveness (Preview) Just to say hello to everyone. Some of you know already that I attend a weekly study group. For the past two weeks we have been looking at forgiveness, with Lewis Smedes - the same video two weeks running! He outlines four stages of forgiveness, which I wanted to share with folks. 1 Acknowlegement th...	NCC1701	4	398	Nov 7, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Hope In Hardship (Preview) Hope In Hardship Anything Can Be Overcome The journey that each human being makes through earthly existence can have hardship as often as it is touched by joy. When we encounter adversity, the stress we feel can erode our optimism, eventually convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome....	Tenderheartsks	3	395	Nov 7, 2007 by cookie1971
	Lovable and likeable...WHO ME? No I don't think so! (Preview) ...it is funny how things work out. I have tried now for days to get into the chat room for support and listening and talking and observing but no matter what I still cannot get into the chat room. However my cousin, who lives in Texas and works the Al-anon 12 step programme too, has sent me a package contai...	Heartbroken	4	541	Nov 6, 2007 by Jen
	Keith Urban (Preview) OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...	Becky1	5	355	Nov 6, 2007 by Becky1
	kinda funny, I think... (Preview) As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...	Loupiness	16	784	Nov 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	cheating (Preview) Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?	Heaven	3	419	Nov 6, 2007 by Heaven
	Veteran (Preview) Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...	Belladay	4	411	Nov 6, 2007 by abbyal
	family holidays with exes (Preview) With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...	omajoy	7	590	Nov 6, 2007 by shellymcknight
	The Secret (Preview) I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...	carolinagirl	8	607	Nov 6, 2007 by Christy
	needing to vent (Preview) And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...	cstwwt	5	452	Nov 6, 2007 by Kim65
	Just a Normal old day (Preview) God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...	Belladay	2	352	Nov 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Help me understand (Preview) I recently ended my engagement b/c my SO is an alcoholic. In the past year the drinking has become completely out of control. He no longer bathes, changes his clothing or takes care of day to day living. The drinking starts at 9 AM and goes until he passes out. Generally after 10 PM. My problems in de...	shellymcknight	9	441	Nov 6, 2007 by chef
	Entire Story... (Preview) My boyfriend was in jail for nine months, because of his drinking. The entire time he was locked up he would talk about how excited he is to begin his life again, sober. He would talk about how drinking had ruined his life. I was really excited that he finally realized his drinking was a problem (look w...	corin	6	553	Nov 6, 2007 by cookie1971
	Free Hugs :) (Preview)	Christy	11	491	Nov 5, 2007 by Heartbroken
	My SIL passed away on Halloween :( (Preview) Those who sent their warm wishes and prayers thank you so much. It helped just to know others cared. My brother will be flying home on Monday. They had her funeral yesturday. Debilyn, please let me know things to say or do because I don't understand what its like to lose a spouse...only bestfriends. My b...	Friendofyours	11	796	Nov 5, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Better get this out now (Preview) I walk into my meeting this morning and sitting right across from me is ex's mother and his first ex wife. GAG! She has pulled this stunt before (his mother). A couple years ago. Made this big production as to how she was BACK! And NOTHING and NOBODY was going to keep her away. She came to like 3 meetings, ke...	serendipity	8	649	Nov 5, 2007 by Jean4444
	Toe prints and still blaming A (Preview) geez, I need some special thoughts to hp please...... Today I was hooking up a lead to my llama Campbell, we are in an tiny corner, the neighbors three silly baby steers ran up. They scared llama who twisted around, rope went around my right leg, pulled me down, llama pushed me I landed on my tail bone on a s...	debilyn	5	643	Nov 5, 2007 by Jean4444
	moving on with moving on (Preview) One good thing about this weekend is that I finally feel like I am moving on from the A's chaos. I am not being pulled into my housemates chaos and craziness. I refuse to go into that kind of over involvment again. I keep my stuff firmly focused on my needs, what I need to do and where I am going. I don't go any f...	maresie2	5	484	Nov 5, 2007 by maresie2
	My Dear Friends (Preview) I have woken up early and couldn't wait to get online to see what has happened next in your lives. I think you guys are awesome and I hope you have the most wonderful day. I have posted responses to people so right now I don't have any epiphany to share. Just give me time, it will come. :) Talk to you soon, dear...	Belladay	3	371	Nov 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	all our children (Preview) Spent the day with one of my kids away at college (who had called late last nite needing support), returned home to sons not getting along (taking things that bother them about our family out on each other perhaps), another son feeling no one understood or supported his interests and sons reported th...	ddub	2	339	Nov 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	AN 80's Woman (Preview) just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked awa...	beaulahg	11	654	Nov 5, 2007 by beaulahg
	It's my birthday (Preview) And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember th...	meagain	7	539	Nov 5, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Hi, I'm new. I have a question. :) (Preview) Hello everyone, First of all, let me tell you how glad I am to have found this site. This is all very new for me and was recommended to me by a good friend who has been to Al-Anon herself (her husband went through AA) and found it very helpful. They are still together and happy. Alcohol has been an increasi...	tenacious	5	679	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	re: manipulative people (Preview) Hi All, My student contacted me late this week. I had given her an extension on work due as she cited difficulties. I made an appointment to see her the week after next and the times are difficult for her. However to see her asap, I chose to choose the times. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me and I decided to c...	maire rua	2	1440	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	Reality check - (Preview) My AH is a jerk tonight and we did try to talk off and on the last couple days until he became smug, belligerant and immature. I told him I had several things to talk with him during this quiet weekend. We've had a about 15 minute conversation 3 times over the last 2 days. Taking it slow, concise without t...	ddub	6	451	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	Alanons Who Drink (Preview) As some of you know, I backed into this program - I was born qualified for Alanon, but had to qualify fully for Alcoholics Anonymous first, and get sober, before finally showing up for Alanon to begin dealing with my own codependency issues... although I have never been married to an alcoholic, I've ha...	barisax	5	693	Nov 4, 2007 by abbyal
	Procrastinate (Preview) I am such a procrastinator! I have a test (self study 2 months) next Friday and I need to really study all day but I can't seem to focus. I feel like I need to just relax today and take some time off but I know I need to reread the book which is 600 pages. Yikes! But I do have a friend coming over to study with me. Sh...	Belladay	2	342	Nov 3, 2007 by Belladay
	Finally some honesty from A...... (Preview) I posted last week when my husband took some medicine that belonged to my son for ADD. I try to keep it put up when he is home (out of respect for his addiction), but he came home early (usually gone for 2 weeks and home for 1 week from working offshore). I put the medicine up, but not in time. I knew he had ta...	dm0141	5	576	Nov 3, 2007 by lin0606
	How do I handle this... (Preview) I need to know something. Because we have alcoholics in our lives, does this mean that we are supposed to arrange our lives according to their disease, and base our decisions on whether or not they could influence the A to drink? It seems that this is being done among some of the members of my Alanon grou...	verenda	11	721	Nov 3, 2007 by getoverit
	Shaking My Head (Preview) I had the oddest experience today. I was at work and I am studying with 3 other women I work with for this big test we will have next week. It is a 2 month self-study and it is by choice so we are taking this on ourselves. We have all been working hard to get this done and I am sure some of it was stress but one of the...	Belladay	3	393	Nov 3, 2007 by Jen
	Relationship w/ A vs. Controlling Mom (Preview) My ex-A and I have been broken up for about a year, after 7 years of dating/co-habitating. I am realistic about the relationship and the fact it will never work as long as he is sick. I am 42 with a great career, 2 awesome kids and a pretty happy life. My ex-A is not so lucky, but his choice.The thing is I sti...	newday	2	503	Nov 3, 2007 by Jen
	"...and how is A doing?" (Preview) what do you guys say when people ask how your alcoholic is? He and I no longer live together but we may reconcile. I have come to a point where I will no longer go into it when friends/family ask about our relationship and how I am doing. In the past I would SIGH and say something like..."its OK or its...	Jean4444	10	1363	Nov 2, 2007 by leo
	WHAT DO I DO NOW? (Preview) I just asked told the Love of my life to get out - I know he needs help but I can not take his drinking anymore. He keeps justifing his drinking by telling me he never hurt me and he is a good provider. He is right on one count - He is an excelent provider and he has never hit me when he drinks but I can not make h...	PURRCEY	17	754	Nov 2, 2007 by Sograteful
	strength within (Preview) Note to my husband, You are making a choice about our marriage by choosing to drink bourbon again. I then have the right to choose whether I endure another round of the consequences and effect on me. Please do not try to talk to me I am too upset this is a boundary to protect myself. Leo	leo	3	300	Nov 2, 2007 by Belladay
	Overcoming the Lingering Effects of Lies... (Preview) I've learned a gret deal lurking in this forum and reading the collective wisdom found here, thank-you. Here's another question I have: How do you handle the lying aspects of someone who is an A? Relationships are built on trust and of course A destroys that trust when the A is in relapse or freshly out o...	Jeff Reynolds	6	840	Nov 2, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	Understand (Preview) Leo, I am sorry you are going through this again. I know how you feel. I finally left my AH but he had gotten alot worse and acted out in really bad ways before I left. It is so hard to deal with it. I stayed 5 years after he relapsed. I was in literal hell before I left. I am so glad I got the courage up to do it. He wa...	Belladay	0	271	Nov 2, 2007 by Belladay
	Husband still sober, but confessed he had gotten a DUI (Preview) Here I am again. My husband is still sober, but was in an automobile accident a few weeks ago and told me that a truck had run a stop sign and hit him. He went to the hospital with neck and shoulder injuries that seemed to heal remarkably fast. Last night he presents me with the police report showing that...	Chetch	10	647	Nov 2, 2007 by Chetch
	Back Again?!?! (Preview) I got a call yesterday from my A. I do still love him and someone said it sounded like I wasn't done with him. They were so right. He told me how much he loves me and that he doesn't want to be without me but isn't ready to give up alcohol. He said he needed to do it for himself and that it had to be his decision...	shellymcknight	3	340	Nov 2, 2007 by Christy
	Must share this . . . (Preview) I hit rock bottom (and then some) in my checking account. It's all gone, the farm money, whatever it was, it's gone now, sort of the end of an era, I guess. Thankfully I just got my retirement fund check from my previous job, only 1500 bucks, but it looks like a lot to me right now. My plan was to deposit so...	Kim65	11	611	Nov 2, 2007 by Jean4444
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.