Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Becky1 · Becky1

OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...

Heaven · Heaven

Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?

Belladay · Belladay

Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...

omajoy · omajoy

With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...

cstwwt · cstwwt

And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...

Belladay · Belladay

God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...

shellymcknight · shellymcknight

I recently ended my engagement b/c my SO is an alcoholic. In the past year the drinking has become completely out of control. He no longer bathes, changes his clothing or takes care of day to day living. The drinking starts at 9 AM and goes until he passes out. Generally after 10 PM. My problems in de...

corin · corin

My boyfriend was in jail for nine months, because of his drinking. The entire time he was locked up he would talk about how excited he is to begin his life again, sober. He would talk about how drinking had ruined his life. I was really excited that he finally realized his drinking was a problem (look w...

Christy · Christy

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Those who sent their warm wishes and prayers thank you so much. It helped just to know others cared. My brother will be flying home on Monday. They had her funeral yesturday. Debilyn, please let me know things to say or do because I don't understand what its like to lose a spouse...only bestfriends. My b...

serendipity · serendipity

I walk into my meeting this morning and sitting right across from me is ex's mother and his first ex wife. GAG! She has pulled this stunt before (his mother). A couple years ago. Made this big production as to how she was BACK! And NOTHING and NOBODY was going to keep her away. She came to like 3 meetings, ke...

debilyn · debilyn

geez, I need some special thoughts to hp please...... Today I was hooking up a lead to my llama Campbell, we are in an tiny corner, the neighbors three silly baby steers ran up. They scared llama who twisted around, rope went around my right leg, pulled me down, llama pushed me I landed on my tail bone on a s...

maresie2 · maresie2

One good thing about this weekend is that I finally feel like I am moving on from the A's chaos. I am not being pulled into my housemates chaos and craziness. I refuse to go into that kind of over involvment again. I keep my stuff firmly focused on my needs, what I need to do and where I am going. I don't go any f...

Belladay · Belladay

I have woken up early and couldn't wait to get online to see what has happened next in your lives. I think you guys are awesome and I hope you have the most wonderful day. I have posted responses to people so right now I don't have any epiphany to share. Just give me time, it will come. :) Talk to you soon, dear...

ddub · ddub

Spent the day with one of my kids away at college (who had called late last nite needing support), returned home to sons not getting along (taking things that bother them about our family out on each other perhaps), another son feeling no one understood or supported his interests and sons reported th...

beaulahg · beaulahg

just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked awa...

meagain · meagain

And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember th...

tenacious · tenacious

Hello everyone, First of all, let me tell you how glad I am to have found this site. This is all very new for me and was recommended to me by a good friend who has been to Al-Anon herself (her husband went through AA) and found it very helpful. They are still together and happy. Alcohol has been an increasi...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, My student contacted me late this week. I had given her an extension on work due as she cited difficulties. I made an appointment to see her the week after next and the times are difficult for her. However to see her asap, I chose to choose the times. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me and I decided to c...

ddub · ddub

My AH is a jerk tonight and we did try to talk off and on the last couple days until he became smug, belligerant and immature. I told him I had several things to talk with him during this quiet weekend. We've had a about 15 minute conversation 3 times over the last 2 days. Taking it slow, concise without t...

barisax · barisax

As some of you know, I backed into this program - I was born qualified for Alanon, but had to qualify fully for Alcoholics Anonymous first, and get sober, before finally showing up for Alanon to begin dealing with my own codependency issues... although I have never been married to an alcoholic, I've ha...

Belladay · Belladay

I am such a procrastinator! I have a test (self study 2 months) next Friday and I need to really study all day but I can't seem to focus. I feel like I need to just relax today and take some time off but I know I need to reread the book which is 600 pages. Yikes! But I do have a friend coming over to study with me. Sh...

dm0141 · dm0141

I posted last week when my husband took some medicine that belonged to my son for ADD. I try to keep it put up when he is home (out of respect for his addiction), but he came home early (usually gone for 2 weeks and home for 1 week from working offshore). I put the medicine up, but not in time. I knew he had ta...

verenda · verenda

I need to know something. Because we have alcoholics in our lives, does this mean that we are supposed to arrange our lives according to their disease, and base our decisions on whether or not they could influence the A to drink? It seems that this is being done among some of the members of my Alanon grou...

Belladay · Belladay

I had the oddest experience today. I was at work and I am studying with 3 other women I work with for this big test we will have next week. It is a 2 month self-study and it is by choice so we are taking this on ourselves. We have all been working hard to get this done and I am sure some of it was stress but one of the...

newday · newday

My ex-A and I have been broken up for about a year, after 7 years of dating/co-habitating. I am realistic about the relationship and the fact it will never work as long as he is sick. I am 42 with a great career, 2 awesome kids and a pretty happy life. My ex-A is not so lucky, but his choice.The thing is I sti...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

what do you guys say when people ask how your alcoholic is? He and I no longer live together but we may reconcile. I have come to a point where I will no longer go into it when friends/family ask about our relationship and how I am doing. In the past I would SIGH and say something like..."its OK or its...

PURRCEY · PURRCEY

I just asked told the Love of my life to get out - I know he needs help but I can not take his drinking anymore. He keeps justifing his drinking by telling me he never hurt me and he is a good provider. He is right on one count - He is an excelent provider and he has never hit me when he drinks but I can not make h...

leo · leo

Note to my husband, You are making a choice about our marriage by choosing to drink bourbon again. I then have the right to choose whether I endure another round of the consequences and effect on me. Please do not try to talk to me I am too upset this is a boundary to protect myself. Leo

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

I've learned a gret deal lurking in this forum and reading the collective wisdom found here, thank-you. Here's another question I have: How do you handle the lying aspects of someone who is an A? Relationships are built on trust and of course A destroys that trust when the A is in relapse or freshly out o...

Belladay · Belladay

Leo, I am sorry you are going through this again. I know how you feel. I finally left my AH but he had gotten alot worse and acted out in really bad ways before I left. It is so hard to deal with it. I stayed 5 years after he relapsed. I was in literal hell before I left. I am so glad I got the courage up to do it. He wa...

Chetch · Chetch

Here I am again. My husband is still sober, but was in an automobile accident a few weeks ago and told me that a truck had run a stop sign and hit him. He went to the hospital with neck and shoulder injuries that seemed to heal remarkably fast. Last night he presents me with the police report showing that...

shellymcknight · shellymcknight

I got a call yesterday from my A. I do still love him and someone said it sounded like I wasn't done with him. They were so right. He told me how much he loves me and that he doesn't want to be without me but isn't ready to give up alcohol. He said he needed to do it for himself and that it had to be his decision...

Kim65 · Kim65

I hit rock bottom (and then some) in my checking account. It's all gone, the farm money, whatever it was, it's gone now, sort of the end of an era, I guess. Thankfully I just got my retirement fund check from my previous job, only 1500 bucks, but it looks like a lot to me right now. My plan was to deposit so...

ddub · ddub

First I was going to start a new topic related to Carolina's post about thinking and our kids. Like when one of mine told me not to blame it all on my AH when I answered questions from the younger siblings because I was sick first. I said what?!? Sort of a chicken and egg story - yes I was undiagnosed for...

Belladay · Belladay

Hi everyone, I just wanted you to know that I have found since I have been on this site that I have started thinking about you all, your words, your suffering and your comfort. It has made me want to come back and read up on how each of you are doing. You are becoming so interesting to me. I also feel part of you...

Heaven · Heaven

I'm just beginning with this but I'm pretty sure my husband has been an alcoholic for the entire 20 years we've been married. He started having serious temper tantrums about two months ago and he started drinking more often about two weeks ago. I can't go to meetings yet. This website has gotten me t...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Keep The Fork....... There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was in the car on my way to work and I was thinking about myself and realized some things. Firstly I realized that I have not been being the best mom I could be. I was always better than the A (which isn't saying much) but is that really enough? No, I decided, it's not. I can do better with this teenage da...

Belladay · Belladay

Hi everyone. I went out with my neighbors last night and it was fun to give out candy, block style. But does everyone drink? I have been away from it for so long I think I forgot. I just don't associate with people who drink much anymore and seeing these people, who I don't really spend that much time with, w...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

become a veteran member, I have only been with you a few short weeks. How scarey is THAT! Heartbroken

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

It's a simple formula; do your best and somebody might like it. --Dorothy Baker We're never guaranteed success by others' standards. However, if we do our best according to the standards we think God has in mind, we'll be successful. And from God we'll always receive unconditional love and acceptan...

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know I am deeply in debt after living with the A for 7 years. I left him with practically nothing and he destroyed the only thing I had of value which was my truck which I was never able to recvoer despite my best efforts in getting a restraining order. . I have been working solidly for 6 months now b...

Loupiness · Loupiness

... that "when you get busy you get better", my ah should be on the fast track to recovery. HA! So, with the diversion program he must attend 90 AA meetings in 90 days (over the holidays,should be interesting), a professionals group twice per wk, have a psych eval, weekly counseling by a re...

babysteps · babysteps

AH was supposed to be running to the corner store about a 1/4 mile from home last night. He comes home almost an hour later shaking. He got pulled over and he had been drinking. The cop asked if he had been drinking, he said no, but cop said he smelled alcohol. Didn't have his license with him of course. Cop r...

verenda · verenda

Well I decided to let AH come home. He has been home 2 days now. How am I feeling? I really do not know. I thought I would be ecstatically happy, like just getting married, or something, but I just feel sort of numb. I love him, and when we were seeing eadh other and he was at the halfway house we were ecstatic,...

maresie2 · maresie2

After an incredibly difficult year full of lows, new lows, frustration, struggles and more, I find it hard to be at a place of acceptance. I konw this is for me the core of my program. When I was struggling with how to cope with the A acceptance was far from my grasp. I raged, grieved, raged, grieved and rag...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Family))) As the new chairperson for the group, it is my pleasure to chair our business meetings for the next 6 months. This Sunday is the first Sunday of the month so we should have had our business meeting for November. However!!!!!! This weekend I am going to be traveling to Houston to atte...

Belladay · Belladay

I just wanted to tell you that this has been a good day. I feel aware and pretty balanced. I have come home and cooked for two nights, something that I really like to do because it is such a form of love to give my family. In recovery I found nuggets of balance and I love it when I have it. Like starting somethin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))), Just got some bad news that my cousin (who is my sister's age) died today. He was a deep sea diver working on pipes, etc. Apparently something went wrong with his equipment and he never surfaced. He was working out west, so I have no idea when the funeral will be. He died doing w...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to take the time to wish you all a Happy Halloween. I hope tomorrow will be filled with love, laughter and fun. Enjoy all the ghosts and goblins and creatures running amok. Hubby and Pipers Kitty will be handing out treats, while I go for my walk in my neighbor...

Belladay · Belladay

Hi guys, all is well. My dad did call finally today and I am ok. He seemed really insecure. I think I feel stronger because of you all. I just thought I am not going to worry, I will put up some boundaries like you said and remember who I am and how far I have come. He seemed so nervous. Here he is 2000 miles away a...

Aslan · Aslan

I'm not sure where to begin this so I'll start at the beginning of the end. Hope it all makes sense....... My father is an alcoholic. The drinking worsened when I left for college, and by the time I had graduated from school and begun planning my wedding he was at the point where he was comatose for days on e...

CJC · CJC

So last night the AH decided to come home, I was cleaning the kitchen after the mess the kids made and went to put the trash in the garage. Well, apparently somewhere in the middle of this I had supposedly said something that set AH off, because he came into the garage, closed the door, and proceeded to sta...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Last night was hell night. I got home from work, picked up the little ones from daycare and then went to pick up the oldest at her school dance. We got home after grocery shopping and I told her to fold clothes and do the rest of her chores. That's where it all started... She started complaining and I to...

justmeagain · justmeagain

Just two weeks ago I had what I thought was a somewhat normal life, just what I thought I suppose. I am so hurt, scared, confused and so many mixed feelings right now I don't even know what to do. My fiance and I split, two weeks tomorrow. He has been seen by me with another woman, called his mother to tell he...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Yesterday evening I was at the funeral of a 29 year old man from the community I grew up in. He crashed his jeep on saturday night while intoxicated and died at the scene. It was his seventh vehicle. A taxi had been organised by his brother but he just couldn't wait as he had things to do in the morni...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

((((Family))))), I have my friends pc up and running until my boss has my tower up :). Just wanted to let you all know. Yours in recovery, Mandy

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Keith Urban (Preview) OMG! I went to my first Keith Urban concert last night....we were about 10 feet from him at the end of a little stage in the center of the floor area! I held up my sign that said "Nicole said to Kiss ME!!", and he pointed, cocked his head, laughed, winked, and blew me a kiss! OMG I am floating toda...	Becky1	5	336	Nov 6, 2007 by Becky1
	kinda funny, I think... (Preview) As you may all well know, my ah is having an affair with a fellow married alcoholic. This is someone who worked for us. We share the same friends (who I am certain do not know), and our daughters are a year apart in school thus are often connected. We see her at most functions and our kids are in all sporting e...	Loupiness	16	765	Nov 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	cheating (Preview) Just found out that he is cheating too. Should I leave?	Heaven	3	400	Nov 6, 2007 by Heaven
	Veteran (Preview) Hi Gang, I just found out I am a veteran member. My how time and posts do fly. I only have a moment but I do hope people will post to this because I can check from work and get encouragement. I am really nervous because I have a big test on Friday. It is a 2 month self study test for a certificate in my field of work...	Belladay	4	392	Nov 6, 2007 by abbyal
	family holidays with exes (Preview) With the holidays upon us, I am already in a sweat of anxiety. Up until now my son, his ex, and the grandbaby have spent time together with us on all holidays. Recently their relationship has become increasingly nasty . Nothing has been planned for this year, but I am desperately trying to think of a wa...	omajoy	7	563	Nov 6, 2007 by shellymcknight
	The Secret (Preview) I got this movie from Netflix last weekend and it was great. I highly recommend it to everyone on this board. Another member had told me about the book so when I saw the movie I got it and it is very much in line with Alanon thinking and literature. It's about changing the way we think and feel about thing...	carolinagirl	8	588	Nov 6, 2007 by Christy
	needing to vent (Preview) And I know you guys will understand, thanks for that!! AH was gone for 2.5 weeks.....away on business. Life at home was good, tough being a single parent, but ok. When he returned this weekend, tension filled the air, he was not nice to me and it was difficult for me to be nice back. He intended to go to...	cstwwt	5	427	Nov 6, 2007 by Kim65
	Just a Normal old day (Preview) God, what an awesome day! These are the days I always wanted in my life after I found out that doing the things to prepare for the week would not be so darn boring. I think it is called being responsible but I just get completely into it sometimes. My husband and I woke up and I made pancakes, then we just went...	Belladay	2	332	Nov 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Help me understand (Preview) I recently ended my engagement b/c my SO is an alcoholic. In the past year the drinking has become completely out of control. He no longer bathes, changes his clothing or takes care of day to day living. The drinking starts at 9 AM and goes until he passes out. Generally after 10 PM. My problems in de...	shellymcknight	9	422	Nov 6, 2007 by chef
	Entire Story... (Preview) My boyfriend was in jail for nine months, because of his drinking. The entire time he was locked up he would talk about how excited he is to begin his life again, sober. He would talk about how drinking had ruined his life. I was really excited that he finally realized his drinking was a problem (look w...	corin	6	528	Nov 6, 2007 by cookie1971
	Free Hugs :) (Preview)	Christy	11	472	Nov 5, 2007 by Heartbroken
	My SIL passed away on Halloween :( (Preview) Those who sent their warm wishes and prayers thank you so much. It helped just to know others cared. My brother will be flying home on Monday. They had her funeral yesturday. Debilyn, please let me know things to say or do because I don't understand what its like to lose a spouse...only bestfriends. My b...	Friendofyours	11	771	Nov 5, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Better get this out now (Preview) I walk into my meeting this morning and sitting right across from me is ex's mother and his first ex wife. GAG! She has pulled this stunt before (his mother). A couple years ago. Made this big production as to how she was BACK! And NOTHING and NOBODY was going to keep her away. She came to like 3 meetings, ke...	serendipity	8	628	Nov 5, 2007 by Jean4444
	Toe prints and still blaming A (Preview) geez, I need some special thoughts to hp please...... Today I was hooking up a lead to my llama Campbell, we are in an tiny corner, the neighbors three silly baby steers ran up. They scared llama who twisted around, rope went around my right leg, pulled me down, llama pushed me I landed on my tail bone on a s...	debilyn	5	623	Nov 5, 2007 by Jean4444
	moving on with moving on (Preview) One good thing about this weekend is that I finally feel like I am moving on from the A's chaos. I am not being pulled into my housemates chaos and craziness. I refuse to go into that kind of over involvment again. I keep my stuff firmly focused on my needs, what I need to do and where I am going. I don't go any f...	maresie2	5	465	Nov 5, 2007 by maresie2
	My Dear Friends (Preview) I have woken up early and couldn't wait to get online to see what has happened next in your lives. I think you guys are awesome and I hope you have the most wonderful day. I have posted responses to people so right now I don't have any epiphany to share. Just give me time, it will come. :) Talk to you soon, dear...	Belladay	3	350	Nov 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	all our children (Preview) Spent the day with one of my kids away at college (who had called late last nite needing support), returned home to sons not getting along (taking things that bother them about our family out on each other perhaps), another son feeling no one understood or supported his interests and sons reported th...	ddub	2	317	Nov 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	AN 80's Woman (Preview) just for today, i would like to share something with you. last week something happened to me. this week i am on my way to hospital and doctor appointments for a multitude of tests. last week , before i realized i was ill, i wanted to share this poem with you. i love it, twenty years ago, i found it tucked awa...	beaulahg	11	628	Nov 5, 2007 by beaulahg
	It's my birthday (Preview) And I am feeling sorry for myself! I have rec'd many calls and cards from friends and hubby-but I have 3 sons and spouses-and 2 step-children and spouses, and 6 grandchildren---and no one called or sent a card-or emailed. this goes on year after year----------I don't want gifts--I always remember th...	meagain	7	515	Nov 5, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Hi, I'm new. I have a question. :) (Preview) Hello everyone, First of all, let me tell you how glad I am to have found this site. This is all very new for me and was recommended to me by a good friend who has been to Al-Anon herself (her husband went through AA) and found it very helpful. They are still together and happy. Alcohol has been an increasi...	tenacious	5	659	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	re: manipulative people (Preview) Hi All, My student contacted me late this week. I had given her an extension on work due as she cited difficulties. I made an appointment to see her the week after next and the times are difficult for her. However to see her asap, I chose to choose the times. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me and I decided to c...	maire rua	2	1408	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	Reality check - (Preview) My AH is a jerk tonight and we did try to talk off and on the last couple days until he became smug, belligerant and immature. I told him I had several things to talk with him during this quiet weekend. We've had a about 15 minute conversation 3 times over the last 2 days. Taking it slow, concise without t...	ddub	6	427	Nov 4, 2007 by nmike
	Alanons Who Drink (Preview) As some of you know, I backed into this program - I was born qualified for Alanon, but had to qualify fully for Alcoholics Anonymous first, and get sober, before finally showing up for Alanon to begin dealing with my own codependency issues... although I have never been married to an alcoholic, I've ha...	barisax	5	673	Nov 4, 2007 by abbyal
	Procrastinate (Preview) I am such a procrastinator! I have a test (self study 2 months) next Friday and I need to really study all day but I can't seem to focus. I feel like I need to just relax today and take some time off but I know I need to reread the book which is 600 pages. Yikes! But I do have a friend coming over to study with me. Sh...	Belladay	2	321	Nov 3, 2007 by Belladay
	Finally some honesty from A...... (Preview) I posted last week when my husband took some medicine that belonged to my son for ADD. I try to keep it put up when he is home (out of respect for his addiction), but he came home early (usually gone for 2 weeks and home for 1 week from working offshore). I put the medicine up, but not in time. I knew he had ta...	dm0141	5	556	Nov 3, 2007 by lin0606
	How do I handle this... (Preview) I need to know something. Because we have alcoholics in our lives, does this mean that we are supposed to arrange our lives according to their disease, and base our decisions on whether or not they could influence the A to drink? It seems that this is being done among some of the members of my Alanon grou...	verenda	11	698	Nov 3, 2007 by getoverit
	Shaking My Head (Preview) I had the oddest experience today. I was at work and I am studying with 3 other women I work with for this big test we will have next week. It is a 2 month self-study and it is by choice so we are taking this on ourselves. We have all been working hard to get this done and I am sure some of it was stress but one of the...	Belladay	3	366	Nov 3, 2007 by Jen
	Relationship w/ A vs. Controlling Mom (Preview) My ex-A and I have been broken up for about a year, after 7 years of dating/co-habitating. I am realistic about the relationship and the fact it will never work as long as he is sick. I am 42 with a great career, 2 awesome kids and a pretty happy life. My ex-A is not so lucky, but his choice.The thing is I sti...	newday	2	483	Nov 3, 2007 by Jen
	"...and how is A doing?" (Preview) what do you guys say when people ask how your alcoholic is? He and I no longer live together but we may reconcile. I have come to a point where I will no longer go into it when friends/family ask about our relationship and how I am doing. In the past I would SIGH and say something like..."its OK or its...	Jean4444	10	1329	Nov 2, 2007 by leo
	WHAT DO I DO NOW? (Preview) I just asked told the Love of my life to get out - I know he needs help but I can not take his drinking anymore. He keeps justifing his drinking by telling me he never hurt me and he is a good provider. He is right on one count - He is an excelent provider and he has never hit me when he drinks but I can not make h...	PURRCEY	17	732	Nov 2, 2007 by Sograteful
	strength within (Preview) Note to my husband, You are making a choice about our marriage by choosing to drink bourbon again. I then have the right to choose whether I endure another round of the consequences and effect on me. Please do not try to talk to me I am too upset this is a boundary to protect myself. Leo	leo	3	279	Nov 2, 2007 by Belladay
	Overcoming the Lingering Effects of Lies... (Preview) I've learned a gret deal lurking in this forum and reading the collective wisdom found here, thank-you. Here's another question I have: How do you handle the lying aspects of someone who is an A? Relationships are built on trust and of course A destroys that trust when the A is in relapse or freshly out o...	Jeff Reynolds	6	817	Nov 2, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	Understand (Preview) Leo, I am sorry you are going through this again. I know how you feel. I finally left my AH but he had gotten alot worse and acted out in really bad ways before I left. It is so hard to deal with it. I stayed 5 years after he relapsed. I was in literal hell before I left. I am so glad I got the courage up to do it. He wa...	Belladay	0	250	Nov 2, 2007 by Belladay
	Husband still sober, but confessed he had gotten a DUI (Preview) Here I am again. My husband is still sober, but was in an automobile accident a few weeks ago and told me that a truck had run a stop sign and hit him. He went to the hospital with neck and shoulder injuries that seemed to heal remarkably fast. Last night he presents me with the police report showing that...	Chetch	10	627	Nov 2, 2007 by Chetch
	Back Again?!?! (Preview) I got a call yesterday from my A. I do still love him and someone said it sounded like I wasn't done with him. They were so right. He told me how much he loves me and that he doesn't want to be without me but isn't ready to give up alcohol. He said he needed to do it for himself and that it had to be his decision...	shellymcknight	3	321	Nov 2, 2007 by Christy
	Must share this . . . (Preview) I hit rock bottom (and then some) in my checking account. It's all gone, the farm money, whatever it was, it's gone now, sort of the end of an era, I guess. Thankfully I just got my retirement fund check from my previous job, only 1500 bucks, but it looks like a lot to me right now. My plan was to deposit so...	Kim65	11	591	Nov 2, 2007 by Jean4444
	doing it again...... (Preview) First I was going to start a new topic related to Carolina's post about thinking and our kids. Like when one of mine told me not to blame it all on my AH when I answered questions from the younger siblings because I was sick first. I said what?!? Sort of a chicken and egg story - yes I was undiagnosed for...	ddub	2	493	Nov 2, 2007 by david62
	Carry you with me (Preview) Hi everyone, I just wanted you to know that I have found since I have been on this site that I have started thinking about you all, your words, your suffering and your comfort. It has made me want to come back and read up on how each of you are doing. You are becoming so interesting to me. I also feel part of you...	Belladay	1	448	Nov 2, 2007 by rtexas
	Just realizing there is a problem... (Preview) I'm just beginning with this but I'm pretty sure my husband has been an alcoholic for the entire 20 years we've been married. He started having serious temper tantrums about two months ago and he started drinking more often about two weeks ago. I can't go to meetings yet. This website has gotten me t...	Heaven	1	456	Nov 2, 2007 by rtexas
	Keep The Fork..... (Preview) Keep The Fork....... There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him...	Peggy7	2	514	Nov 2, 2007 by Karilynn
	I was thinking this morning (shocker I know) LOL (Preview) I was in the car on my way to work and I was thinking about myself and realized some things. Firstly I realized that I have not been being the best mom I could be. I was always better than the A (which isn't saying much) but is that really enough? No, I decided, it's not. I can do better with this teenage da...	carolinagirl	10	628	Nov 2, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: A Drink or Candy (Preview) Hi everyone. I went out with my neighbors last night and it was fun to give out candy, block style. But does everyone drink? I have been away from it for so long I think I forgot. I just don't associate with people who drink much anymore and seeing these people, who I don't really spend that much time with, w...	Belladay	9	1296	Nov 1, 2007 by cookie1971
	How on earth have I suddenly... (Preview) become a veteran member, I have only been with you a few short weeks. How scarey is THAT! Heartbroken	Heartbroken	7	512	Nov 1, 2007 by Heartbroken
	"I get by with a little help from my friends..." (Preview) It's a simple formula; do your best and somebody might like it. --Dorothy Baker We're never guaranteed success by others' standards. However, if we do our best according to the standards we think God has in mind, we'll be successful. And from God we'll always receive unconditional love and acceptan...	Tiger2006	3	1105	Nov 1, 2007 by Peggy7
	moving through the financial molasses (Preview) As you all know I am deeply in debt after living with the A for 7 years. I left him with practically nothing and he destroyed the only thing I had of value which was my truck which I was never able to recvoer despite my best efforts in getting a restraining order. . I have been working solidly for 6 months now b...	maresie2	4	475	Nov 1, 2007 by maresie2
	So if it is true... (Preview) ... that "when you get busy you get better", my ah should be on the fast track to recovery. HA! So, with the diversion program he must attend 90 AA meetings in 90 days (over the holidays,should be interesting), a professionals group twice per wk, have a psych eval, weekly counseling by a re...	Loupiness	2	589	Nov 1, 2007 by Jen
	AH almost got a dui last night (Preview) AH was supposed to be running to the corner store about a 1/4 mile from home last night. He comes home almost an hour later shaking. He got pulled over and he had been drinking. The cop asked if he had been drinking, he said no, but cop said he smelled alcohol. Didn't have his license with him of course. Cop r...	babysteps	3	675	Nov 1, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	AH home now, Update (Preview) Well I decided to let AH come home. He has been home 2 days now. How am I feeling? I really do not know. I thought I would be ecstatically happy, like just getting married, or something, but I just feel sort of numb. I love him, and when we were seeing eadh other and he was at the halfway house we were ecstatic,...	verenda	6	584	Nov 1, 2007 by Karilynn
	acceptance struggle to be there (Preview) After an incredibly difficult year full of lows, new lows, frustration, struggles and more, I find it hard to be at a place of acceptance. I konw this is for me the core of my program. When I was struggling with how to cope with the A acceptance was far from my grasp. I raged, grieved, raged, grieved and rag...	maresie2	1	425	Oct 31, 2007 by ddub
	November Business Meeting (Preview) Hello ((((Family))) As the new chairperson for the group, it is my pleasure to chair our business meetings for the next 6 months. This Sunday is the first Sunday of the month so we should have had our business meeting for November. However!!!!!! This weekend I am going to be traveling to Houston to atte...	david62	3	395	Oct 31, 2007 by david62
	RE: Sharing a Meal (Preview) I just wanted to tell you that this has been a good day. I feel aware and pretty balanced. I have come home and cooked for two nights, something that I really like to do because it is such a form of love to give my family. In recovery I found nuggets of balance and I love it when I have it. Like starting somethin...	Belladay	2	947	Oct 31, 2007 by cookie1971
	Prayers for my cousin's family please (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))), Just got some bad news that my cousin (who is my sister's age) died today. He was a deep sea diver working on pipes, etc. Apparently something went wrong with his equipment and he never surfaced. He was working out west, so I have no idea when the funeral will be. He died doing w...	Karilynn	11	619	Oct 31, 2007 by cookie1971
	Happy Halloween (Preview) (((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to take the time to wish you all a Happy Halloween. I hope tomorrow will be filled with love, laughter and fun. Enjoy all the ghosts and goblins and creatures running amok. Hubby and Pipers Kitty will be handing out treats, while I go for my walk in my neighbor...	Karilynn	6	415	Oct 31, 2007 by wp
	RE: Trick or Treat (Preview) Hi guys, all is well. My dad did call finally today and I am ok. He seemed really insecure. I think I feel stronger because of you all. I just thought I am not going to worry, I will put up some boundaries like you said and remember who I am and how far I have come. He seemed so nervous. Here he is 2000 miles away a...	Belladay	1	330	Oct 31, 2007 by Jean4444
	Rock Bottom, the Aftermath, and my Guilt (Preview) I'm not sure where to begin this so I'll start at the beginning of the end. Hope it all makes sense....... My father is an alcoholic. The drinking worsened when I left for college, and by the time I had graduated from school and begun planning my wedding he was at the point where he was comatose for days on e...	Aslan	4	587	Oct 31, 2007 by Belladay
	A little funny...but then again? (Preview) So last night the AH decided to come home, I was cleaning the kitchen after the mess the kids made and went to put the trash in the garage. Well, apparently somewhere in the middle of this I had supposedly said something that set AH off, because he came into the garage, closed the door, and proceeded to sta...	CJC	3	472	Oct 31, 2007 by CJC
	Hellish night with out of control teen..HELP! (Preview) Last night was hell night. I got home from work, picked up the little ones from daycare and then went to pick up the oldest at her school dance. We got home after grocery shopping and I told her to fold clothes and do the rest of her chores. That's where it all started... She started complaining and I to...	carolinagirl	19	755	Oct 31, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	from all to nothing in 2 weeks (Preview) Just two weeks ago I had what I thought was a somewhat normal life, just what I thought I suppose. I am so hurt, scared, confused and so many mixed feelings right now I don't even know what to do. My fiance and I split, two weeks tomorrow. He has been seen by me with another woman, called his mother to tell he...	justmeagain	4	585	Oct 31, 2007 by maresie2
	consequences of alcoholism (Preview) Dear All, Yesterday evening I was at the funeral of a 29 year old man from the community I grew up in. He crashed his jeep on saturday night while intoxicated and died at the scene. It was his seventh vehicle. A taxi had been organised by his brother but he just couldn't wait as he had things to do in the morni...	maire rua	2	573	Oct 31, 2007 by canadianguy
	Hehe guess who is online at home :) (Preview) ((((Family))))), I have my friends pc up and running until my boss has my tower up :). Just wanted to let you all know. Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	3	308	Oct 31, 2007 by carosie
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