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New - looking for how others handled kids in a situation
(Preview)
Hi all, I hope this post is ok -I am brand new to the forum and to al-anon, if this violates any rules please remove it. I have a brother who is spiraling (fourth DUI, fired, about to be homeless) who has three young children that live with him (all under 10). His wife is sober, but enables him (my opinion) sh...
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mary_n30
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12
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522
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...my week...
(Preview)
Had a full week this week... half down on the coast, an half here at home. Stayed at my cousin's in a shipping container- with bed and accoutrements. My cousin doesn't have great boundaries. Her daughter and Sil... are staying over lock-down and beyond in the loft. It was lovely to meet da. for the f...
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DavidG
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6
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648
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Self care inventory-Saturday night
(Preview)
Well the countdown begins: roommate will be leaving by June 3 which is when her rent expires. I do want us to part in peace and goodwill and I think we will so what did I do today to take care of me? food wise I resisted all the junk foods that I normally get into one stressed out and I was tempted every time I go...
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mamalioness
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2
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989
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Daily Saturday 05/23/20
(Preview)
Sorry about the late post, folks! Today's topic is about Enjoyment and is taken from The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beattie. She mentions, "Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced." She goes on to say that many of us were raised with the belief that we 'square our shoulders and...
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PosiesandPuppies
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2
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401
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Stressors
(Preview)
I think it is important at this time to talk about the stressors
Mine were: work (always pressure to work more), health (my.health deteriorared badly); displacement (being away from my home); support (i found some new sources of support but I.really need a therapist soon.
That is quite a list. Bef...
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Maresie888
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9
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1519
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I am here just sick with my back
(Preview)
Had another back spasm on Wednesday and it was pretty bad. Yesterday it felt like a little bit better and today seems the same. So I will be laid up with this for a while I guess. I hope I dont have to get a shot. So thats where I have been, eating my muscle relaxers and lying on my heating pad and stretching. Pa...
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mamalioness
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11
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567
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AH doesn't want to be "branded" an alcoholic. umm....
(Preview)
During our latest disagreement about life (which started after AH ruined the end of son's birthday, oh joy), it came out that I consider our relationship broken and am considering divorce. AH got all hysterical and long story short, agreed to consider counseling with me. I don't have much hope that t...
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Fedora
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19
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2383
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Reminder *Just for Today*
(Preview)
Just for today: I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today: I will be happy. This assume to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, *Most folks are as happy a...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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720
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Boundaries
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I am relatively new to Alanon and have been focusing on boundaries with my ABF. I am wondering if some of you can share your boundaries that you have implemented? Thanks!
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funandsun
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45
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2120
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question for 'old timers'
(Preview)
I know there are some 'old timers' here so I have a question for you.Please tell me what life looks like after a long time in the program when you are still living with your alcoholic (drinking or not). Does it feel like a life of your own? Do you really feel fulfilled? Are you living separate lives but in th...
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iris52
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12
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1453
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Courage to Change 5/22
(Preview)
Today's reading is about reaching self-love through trusting in a higher power. The author started out fearful, thinking that a self-inventory would show that they were hopelessly flawed and unworthy. Working on Steps One, Two, and Three they realized that, although powerless over the effects...
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Freetime
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5
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530
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News by text - support appreciated.
(Preview)
Hi dear Family, This morning I received a text message from my cousin that my uncle passed. He was my Dad's brother. I ran outside to the mailbox to retrieve my uncle's birthday card before the mailman picked it up. His birthday is in a few days. I grew up on the same block with my cousins and we were over eac...
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bud
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17
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1255
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Hope for Today May 17
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about denial. The writer describes becoming more aware of the magnitude of denial and how many areas of our lives it affects. For those of us who grew up in alcoholic homes, using denial was a way to block pain; unfortunately this also included the unintende...
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yanksfan51
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5
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1100
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Courage to Change May 20
(Preview)
In today's reading, the author shares their experience with obsessive thinking. Like alcoholism, obsessive thinking can be too much to handle. For the author, not starting is the best defense against obsessive thinking because, once started, it gains steam and is hard to interrupt. The author no...
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Skorpi
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3
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1241
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maybe this is a good thing
(Preview)
I'm sure some of you roll your eyes when you see my post.What's wrong now?When is she going to finally get it?Well,I feel the same.I am tired of struggling with myself,my problems,my feelings.I'm just plain tired.I keep posting because I think maybe someone is following my struggles and not respond...
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iris52
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13
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1878
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Just wanted support from people who get it
(Preview)
My Ex just texted me that he "Just wanted me to know how angry he was for me leaving him. I thought it was for better or worse." This after he has ghosted me since February. Not that I minded, as we are divorced and I was trying to move on, but trying to be kind and respectful of him. Also, he was paying for our so...
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PosiesandPuppies
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20
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1817
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C2C, 5/18-adversity
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 5/18, speaks about a time when the writer would avoid an argument rather than deal with an unpleasant situation. The results were not goodthey would become irritable and unreasonable as resentment grew. With program, the author has learned to deal with their problems and...
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Lyne
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4
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487
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In Desperate Need of a Sponsor
(Preview)
I am in crisis. I'm New to ALANON. I need a sponsor. I'm in a horrible situation and my partner is a mess. Can someone help me please? I'm stuck during COVID in a large city. I am overwhelmed with ALANON and don't know where to start. I don't know what to do. Could someone help me? I feel so alone.
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seekingdesphelp
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7
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837
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Self care checklist
(Preview)
Self care checklist Somebody really awesome and bright posted a post like this and I thought I would steal some of it its kind of like a quickie step four so Im going to do my end of the checklist Foodate clean today, no junk food Drink plenty of water I did good today ExerciseI got on my cardio total body w...
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mamalioness
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0
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1463
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The self saboteur strikes again
(Preview)
im unpacking my lovely new futon with which I am very happy and I am using a serrated knife and I am cutting the plastic off and I sliced off the top corner of my index finger like on the very top right of my left index finger I took a piece of flesh along with putting the nail. And it just gushed blood all over th...
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mamalioness
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7
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1487
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Courage to Change 5/14
(Preview)
Good morning MIP! Today's reading is about 'Keep Coming Back' and what that can mean for one's recovery! It opens with the thought that Al-Anon is a discipline that requires diligence, patience, and consistency for the best results. All tools - meetings, Steps and practicing the principles to e...
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Iamhere
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10
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1345
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Not feeling heard
(Preview)
Hi all! Just looking for a venting board. My husband has been sober for almost 6 weeks. (I dont keep track, he just tells me). I know thats brand new in the life of a recovering alcoholic. I am struggling as i feel that not only was he selfish in alcoholism, hes now selfish in recovery. Im not referring to th...
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Crmans
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16
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608
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Today's Hope 5/16/20
(Preview)
The daily is taken from Today's Hope. Daily Quote: "The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world." - Marianne Williamson The author of the reading shares that we are creatures of habit. One piece of evidence they say, is the fact that many of us can get st...
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PosiesandPuppies
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4
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475
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One step forward, two steps back...
(Preview)
Hi all! Havent been here in a while. Two weeks ago my AH decided to get help and go to medically supervised detox and help from our specialty hospital for addiction and mental health. I didnt push or suggest anything. This was his decision. I (after going through this route last time very unsuccessfull...
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Elabella
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11
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602
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_FRIDAY
(Preview)
well today , I went out for a drive...stopped in this sorta discount, warehouse place near me and found the cutest full sized futon you can use as a couch or a bed...its got legs so I can use risers under the legs and raise it up.....burgundy mattress....4" thick at least.....soooo sweet and it will go gr...
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mamalioness
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1
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720
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C2C, May 15 - Hugs
(Preview)
Today's author in Courage to Change dislikes being hugged, and at the end of a meeting would scurry away to avoid it. Growing up, the only kinds of touch they experienced were negative. The Al-Anon members respected that boundary and continued to be warm, welcoming, and nonjudgmental. They sat wi...
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Freetime
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5
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1258
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KERRY starts cancer meds TODAY
(Preview)
I am SO happy to say that Kerry is FINALLY starting her cancer killing pills TODAY!!!! they will monitor her during this process and so today I'll find out more details on how many and whatnot she is taking, but TODAY she begins her road to recovery.....Ohhhh I can't wait for her to begin to feel better...
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mamalioness
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12
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1209
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_THURSDAY
(Preview)
Lovely day, and roommate was out all day, seeking her new home.... I feel a sense of sadness for her that she cannot seem to find sustainable living arrangements and yet relief and peace that for me it will soon be over....yea, I needed the $$$ but HP is providing for me just fine I will be ok..... today was...
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mamalioness
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0
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412
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_WEDNESDAY
(Preview)
Well, today, i stood to the original eviction notice and she, of course, pleaded and promised change and I just gently said, "no, I am sorry, but I am not doing this merry go round anymore...I wish you the best, honestly I do, but you must leave by Jun 3rd as per original eviction notice given to you 2 week...
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mamalioness
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4
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1708
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Courage to Change, May 13
(Preview)
In today's reading, the author shares about how much easier they find it to make decisions with the AlAnon program. Prior to program, the author struggled to make decisions because of obsessive thinking about "suffering the consequences". Now, the author instead considers "enjoying the consequ...
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Skorpi
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2
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1072
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_TUESDAY
(Preview)
Well, this am, roommate decides to do DISHES at 2am , and of COURSE it is on a worknight, wakes me up so i had a bad nights sleep and go to work tired again...Seems that every "night b4 work" she pulls something so today, to take care of me, I told her that this is not working...and I am considering cutting off...
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mamalioness
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5
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1128
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And even MORE Progress, in VERY small steps, and small victories . . . .
(Preview)
Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms ! I wanted to share a bit of the continuing saga of my journey - not as a "pat on the back" for myself, and not as any kind of "I've finally figured it all out" milestone, and MOST CERTAINLY NOT because I have any long-term confidence that I'll be on a different, better pat...
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texas yankee
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10
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1516
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C2C, 5/11, befriending ourself
(Preview)
The author for Monday, 5/11, suggests making the relationship with ourself the best it can be. You spend more time with yourself than anyone else, you can value your own company, and be a worthwhile companion! The writer says people affected by alcoholism believe only someone else can fulfill the...
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Lyne
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5
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517
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Hope for Today May 10
(Preview)
Sorry all! I thought I had posted this at 7am! Good morning everyone and Happy Mother?s Day to all who are celebrating! Today?s reading is about how a willingness to change our perspective about a situation may make all the difference in how it feels to us. The writer describes moving to a new place a...
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yanksfan51
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5
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641
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Reflections on being a mom
(Preview)
As today is Mothers Day, and I have a grown son, I am thinking of the challenge it was raising him. I was married to an A and had my son when I was 21. I had NO recovery whatsoever, and as you can imagine, many mistakes were made. There are two blessings however. The first is that a wonderful therapist in r...
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Lyne
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9
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1752
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Recovering Ex...
(Preview)
My ex, whom I have a 4 month old baby with, is starting to recover from being an alcoholic (this is the second time). The first time I had to leave is when I was pregnant, and I went back too soon, because right after our son was born, he started drinking again. Well, I have left for the second time, and now he i...
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Teslou523
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19
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2047
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_MONDAY
(Preview)
Beautiful crisp, sunny day, but I chose to work out on my cardio machine that gives me a total body workout...every muscle gets a good workout....so thats what I did delivered some canned kitty food to my GF up the street as my kitty prefers dry, thank goodness, because that canned stuff smells horribl...
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mamalioness
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1
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1233
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_SUNDAY
(Preview)
Well my daughter dissed me again and THIS year, it was OK...It didn't matter to me, I , with love, detached from her finally ..... I had a wonderful day!!! sunny, bright, played with my pets, then went up to my elderly friend's house of the street who has adopted me as her little sister....I got her a cho...
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mamalioness
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2
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476
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HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY AL-ANON MOTHERS OF MIP
(Preview)
It was the ladies of Al-Anon that gave my Mom the son she always wanted. Though my life with my Mom wasn't the best I could hope for and because of that I grew resentments larger than life, finding and getting into Al-Anon by the love of my Higher Power and the energies of the addicted women I use to try t...
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JerryF
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8
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520
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_SATURDAY
(Preview)
well today will be short... I did NOTHING but rest and eat.....absolutely ZERO activity, save for feeding myself and my pets, resting and watching some good movies and docus and you know what??? I felt zero guilt....I am OK being a human being and not a human "have to be doing" all the time.........its...
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mamalioness
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1
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409
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The Daily 05/09/20
(Preview)
Sorry for the late start. Today's reading is taken from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie - a Hazelden Meditation Series book. "Sometimes we'll take a few steps backward. That's OK too. Sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes it is part of going forward." - Codependent No More The reading goe...
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PosiesandPuppies
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3
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1201
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5/7 C2C Do I See Alcohol as a Disease?
(Preview)
Thoughts and prayers with IAH as she is still away tending to family; here are a few thoughts about today's Courage to Change...Today's page challenges my acceptance of alcoholism as a disease over which the alcoholic, nor I, have control. Would I blame a cancer or tuberculosis patient for their sy...
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Enigmatic
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7
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667
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I don't think alanon is the answer for me
(Preview)
Maybe there is no answer.But there must be.It's not meetings or readings or steps.It's not faith or the Bible or church.Tried all of those.It was bad before the pandemic.Now it's really bad.I do not have murderous or suicidal urges.I do not want to hurt anyone.I just want ,,,,,,something.And yet it...
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iris52
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12
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2433
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Rediscovering Relationships H.O.W. Honesty, Openness, Willingness
(Preview)
First let me say that I'm not a person who uses social media to connect with others. During this time when many are under stay at home restrictions, I've been receiving texts, emails and calls from people who I haven't been in touch with for some time including some estranged family members. Expectati...
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tiredtonite
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3
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746
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Metaphors
(Preview)
Just left the Boob Tube which I was watching with my spouse for a while and after doing the daily readings of our literature. We were watching one of our favorites which is the National Geographic series about the Artic, people; singles, doubles, family living a strict frontier like life in the cold...
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JerryF
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4
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1441
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even the horses are VIRAL
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfYksIALj80
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mamalioness
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14
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636
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_FRIDAY
(Preview)
Lovely day today, but chilly...finished up this awful tax return, but its DONE....and I know I did a good job roommate now that she has her car goes out a lot...LOVE my peace and quiet, tho she is not noisy, there are times, (usually the nite b4 I have to work or get up early for another reason) she starts dr...
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mamalioness
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1
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470
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Hope for Today - May 8 - the Present Moment
(Preview)
The author of today's page in Hope for Today describes how they have changed from trying to plan their whole life, to focusing on one day at a time. Instead of dreaming about tomorrow, or a lifetime of accomplishments, they shape it with the choices they make today. Slogans like One Day At a Time, Keep I...
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Freetime
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7
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550
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_THURSDAY
(Preview)
After i did the yard I went "bike hunting" and didn't find anything that beats my little cruiser.....so I may just stay where i am at mowed the yard, then had FUN for the REST of the day, hanging out with my friends up the street roommate goes into one of her "issues" and I just politely and nicely told her I w...
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mamalioness
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3
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354
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_TUESDAY
(Preview)
Sinus infection coming on...so not working today... I am taking care of me....Yea, I was sorry to delay his books another week, but stuff happens and all this crazy weather and breathing in pollins while doing yard work got me good.....so I am resting today If he is going to get mad at me for needing to t...
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mamalioness
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8
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444
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One day at a time...
(Preview)
Poco a poco, paso a paso, día por día... Looking forwards. I was stuck, badly stuck, in a dark space. Lost. Not anger- rage! Not fear- terrified. And I had every reason to be. Our AF got to pass away in his own home 20 years ago. I had paid all the bills. He paid his own power bill, but that was all. He got sober...
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DavidG
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3
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1558
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Exercise in taking stock of my words before I say them and mulling over the alcoholics world view.
(Preview)
Recently I've had some rough times with AH in that I lost my "center" and engaged in useless fights with him. I know better, and I've been contemplating how not to keep going back to zero in my own evolutionary process. Today I was able to go to my office for most of the day and have a good day there. I also go...
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Fedora
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8
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1316
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Today's Hope May 6
(Preview)
Today's reflection speaks about making peace with losses. It begins with a quote from Justin Langley: "There is an end to grief if we have the courage to accept our personal goodness and our ongoing right to happiness." The author suggests that time and trust are needed to make peace with our losses....
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Skorpi
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1
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1206
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_MONDAY
(Preview)
well, today was a good day till I found one of my beautiful collectible "love" mugs outside where roommate just left it out there for the dogs to maybe bump into and break I am getting tired of trying to "train" this girl to treat my things with respect, so I told her she cannot use my mugs and cups again.......
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mamalioness
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6
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1203
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No Good Topic Title Comes to Mind
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
My mom has been admitted into the hospital with pneumonia, and presumptive Covid. My father took her, and had to leave her at the door. She's got heart issues, kidney issues and a few other minor issues... Only God knows if she will survive this, yet I am asking you all for prayers. For both of them. T...
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Iamhere
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60
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2627
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I got an "owie"
(Preview)
I've been biting my dry, tearing fingernails and I have no nails...well, today i pulled a part off my middle finger on left hand so can't type really well... I am in pain, rubbing lotion on it to help it start to grow back and no pain when I type I am here checking in....just can't type so well...when my I...
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mamalioness
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2
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2342
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SELF CARE INVENTORY_TUESDAY
(Preview)
today I went to work and thankfully the QB online crashed (yes, I am guilty of being glad) I was sooo tired from last nights drama, I hung out and taught the office mgr. who is a sweetheart some things and then left...went home and took a NAP...roommate was picking up her car and I just napped..........we...
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mamalioness
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1
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1147
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TID BITS OF WISDOM_TUESDAY
(Preview)
************************************************** *********"'I always remember the friendliness and kindness and closeness we allfelt. Later, I could go anyplace in the whole United States and find afriend in A.A.'"--Henrietta D."Gratitude is the heart's memory."--French ProverbFo...
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mamalioness
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3
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1733
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Relapse- gulp!
(Preview)
Not a bad one- just half an hour slip- was enough. I know a "cure" is not likely. But I am making progress, slowly. yesterday I decided that what was broken with me was going to be mended. I have a good chance of achieving this as a goal. I am grateful that I am not a drinker or doper. But I used to be a bing...
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DavidG
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7
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540
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The next stage in recovery
(Preview)
I think I have finally achieved compassion for my AH - after months of anger (in the beginning), frustration and then sadness, which morphed into indifference and now finally, compassion. It feels so fragile, but I am grateful to know that I can feel it, even if it might not be permanent just yet. What...
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Bettertomorrow
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12
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1700
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