Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DavidG · DavidG

Steps 10,11,12... The sun is streaming through my window, as I write. Gratitude is a great asset... and it does start with baby steps- we fake it til we make it. Our national programme radio playing in the background... wallpaper. 5 or 6 years ago I still thought and believed that I was 'god's gift to...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I grew up in a family where anything could happen any minute. Violence was common, alcohol, gamblimg, projection were all.ways they managed their turmoil. I have no idea how I survived that. Somehow I did. So you.would think growimg up like that that I would be able to live quite normally in these t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's Courage to Change is about courage. The page discusses hesitating at times, hoping for a miracle, instead of trusting Higher Power. We often forget that the miracle is already here. With Al-Anon recovery, we each have a Higher Power who is always here for us, helping us to cope with fea...

Freetime · Freetime

Unable to be true to oneself, letting people take advantage in order to please them -- and then feeling either depressed or guilty -- the author was walking this tightrope. As a result of working the Al-Anon program, the author discovered their rights as a person: the right to speak without being int...

DavidG · DavidG

Would I walk into someone's home- without knocking? Without an invitation? Here, in this group I do do a certain amount of personal messaging. It is a really good practise in boundaries. We too have white board messaging as well- which anyone can see. In another group there was a discussion about l...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who sohopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.--Samuel SmilesIt is better to live one day wisely and reflectively than to live ahundred years in ignorance and indulgence."--BuddhaWithout forgiveness life is governed...by an e...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on resentments. Prior to Al-Anon, resentments occupied and poisoned most of the author's waking moments. The author could think about resentments for days, weeks, months, or years, constantly justifying why they felt the way they did a...

DavidG · DavidG

8.b. Made a list of those who had harmed us and vowed to get even. I can picture an old timer i knew- with hands on her hips- and saying:- "now what have we got here? !!!" In the USA people might have a sponsor- and do the steps away from the group. Larger groups seem to be a place where people come to show-ca...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Dear All, I would appreciate your support please as I am feeling emotionally very low. I have been living with my active AH while we have been saving some money for us to separate. Unfortunately his behaviour has become more and more unacceptable and I have asked him to leave this week on Tuesday (to ...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Anyone have stories to share about divorcing an alcoholic mentally abusive spouse who refuse to work and children were involved? Im at the point of wanting out or maybe I could just say reality. Ive watched many out patient and inpatient attempts end the same way. I feel like Ive been kidding myself t...

mamalioness · mamalioness

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Vulnerability I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am. --Anonymous Melodie Beattie talks about how many of us can only be strong...stiff upper lip...always confident, we believe t...

cestlavie · cestlavie

Hi! Pretty new to this end of the forum. I'm on the ACOA side moreso. Recently my sister has relapsed after 25 years sober. It's a long story, but hard drugs also involved in this relapse, which lasted for about a year. At the time I was focused on being there for her as I could and tried hard not to enable. Be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

We may feel they are justified, we may feel we have the right to hold them, but today's reading reminds us that it is from our expectations of others that much of our unhappiness, frustration, and anger may spring.Reminder: Expecting others to follow our determination of what 'should' be done interf...

DavidG · DavidG

My growing years were fraught. If anything was said:- it seemed to be said through clinched teeth. Moves were like that too- Clint Eastwood spittoon out the end of a cheroot... ...but most movies and books had happy endings- or were meant to. My nearest group- is having a Sunday get together towar...

lookingup · lookingup

been along time away from here, been missing everyone,,life gets super busy. im doing fine,still working my program always will. i have a question to ask ,hoping it can be done. ive got alot of messages here ,private messages between myself and ms betty from way back 2015 up to 2019. im wanting to save t...

mamalioness · mamalioness

been TRYING without much success to SLOW down and PAY attention as I self sabotage big time....I think I had to disassociate from my body too long and now I don't know how to be in it....so not online very much......trying to just teach me to STOP and BREATH....break this down in chunks....then when I ca...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a day to practice easy does it! I spent my entire weekend stressing. Now I want to start anew. I can't count totally depend on counseling to make my decisions but I can try to figure it out on my own. I will stand back & do the footwork when I can. I am hoping today I can share things other than what...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 8/3, discusses when it is time to make a self-appraisal. This happens when our own thoughts create turmoil. We are reminded that our first obligation is to work out our own thinking patterns. The reminder says we can change nothing but ourselves, and the principal source o...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

A boundary I have set for myself,quite awhile ago,is I refuse to be around AH when he's drinking. It's so different when he drinks compared to other substances and I just simply don't want to be around him when he does. With this pandemic, there's not a lot of options. Oh,and with this extreme heat on to...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all ... My ultimate gurus are Lois and Bill. They have pop star and film star status for me. I have their photo on the wall. But for a long time I wanted to be a guru and leader too! Not surprising since I used Bill's saying a lot. One that appears in the AA Big Book. "Half measures avail us nothing....

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Such a great page today in Courage, sums up how so many of us got here but more importantly: how to get to a better place. I came here to change others, but found out I needed to change myself...practice the 12 Steps of AA in my own life, develop a higher power, and accept that I am responsible for the serenit...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the power of prayer, and the idea that we have the ability to pray in many different ways, in different places, and at any time. The writer begins with a description of how sleeping patterns have changed for him/her. The writer describes the inability...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Happy August! Today I will be pulling directly from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. "Say thank you, until you mean it. Thank God, life, and the universe for everyone and everything sent your way. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns...

DavidG · DavidG

I say this more times than often. Even as i grow older- much older... Through my 20's my girls friends got rougher and tougher. In my steps 8 and 9 I took account of these people. Being a country lad- I was much slower on the uptake than my urban counterparts- and I could name each one of them. Doing Step...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a good day just to send out my random thoughts. I realized after reading some of my story that I have an idea. It seems like I can truly say that I can name naming, then I blame blaming & then shame shaming. Now I am claim claiming the fact that I came up w/these thoughts. Maybe this isn't exactly...

DavidG · DavidG

My home relationship has improved markedly over the last 18 to 24 months. Not quite where I want it- but getting fairly close... I am working part time. SO came home from work and found an element on on the stove. It had been like that since breakfast- so it must have been on very low. She put some toasti...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Every day at work I sign s statement that I am feeling well and can work. This oricess is repea4ed when I get to work. So it is twice.once when I check in. Once when I get screened Yesterday I called off. I have been working a lot.lately. my fatigue kevel was high Todsy I get a mote saying ny absence was un...

Freetime · Freetime

The author remembered reading a magazine article stating that the correct use of the mind leads to wisdom and the incorrect use of the mind mind leads to insanity. When coming into Al-Anon, the author realized that the core of the program was based on the right use of the mind as well as the heart. The au...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about decisions and choices we can make to be happy. We have all heard that happiness is an inside job, and that we can be as happy as we choose to me. While we all recognize it's unrealistic to be happy all the time, we can be happy most of the time if we make a commi...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author reflects on the spiritual nature of the Al-Anon program. Al-Anon is not based on any particular religion, and no religious belief is required. There is not a specific dogma or philosophy. The important part is believing in a power greater than ourselves. We need this h...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I have been working briefly with a coworker who compulsively lies. His lies are not anything that can affect my.job I spent years with the qualifier who lied comoulsively. He lied about crashing the car repeatedly (which I paid for). He lied about working, where he was, virtually anything he was res...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 7/27, asks the question: If alcoholism/addictions did not exist, would marriages and all other relationships be perfect? And of course the answer is no: sobriety does not end all problems. It is true that alcoholism does wreck marriages that might have otherwise been s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really hope this doesn't get old. I am writing my life story as I speak. It has been over a year since I started in early July last year. It is very detailed & I hope it doesn't get too boring! I feel very exited about my memories! I really have a good story to tell--the whole truth! I feel like maybe I sh...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Good morning MIP family! Today's reading talks about Courage. The author talks about after years and years of letting people take advantage of them, they had come to Al-Anon with quite a store of anger, resentment and guilt. So many times they wanted to "bite off their tongue" for saying "Yes," when w...

pinkchip · pinkchip

11 plus years sober. Was very sad to hear of Betty's passing. Working daily still as rehab is "essential" healthcare. It is crazy cuz I have plenty of exposure to barely recovering or relapsing people but now limited AA (and Alanon). BUT...on the flip side....still have a job and income and more likel...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

AlAnon is a spiritual recovery program that yields miracles after persistent, consistent thought and effort. This can be compared to the work of a stone cutter who may strike a stone 99 times with no apparent effect before the rewarding break on the 100th. Acceptance of Alcoholism as a disease, acce...

Toronto · Toronto

Good Afternoon All. Earlier I waded in on a post without properly introducing myself. My intent was not to offend, but share how applying Alanon priciples have enriched my life. I entered AA recovery 25 years ago when my then hubby kicked me to the curb. Smart man. He cut his losses quickly. I was in...

Christiob · Christiob

Ive been dragged into my alcoholic siblings problem for the last several months. It started as helping her get to detox (more than once) and once to rehab (she was sober for maybe 30 days after the rehab). Two months ago she had a bad fall and broke her arm, so needed help at home for awhile and has been un...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'a'll... Having this group here, and the MIP groups generally has been a great boon for me. It has taken me beyond the possible... as it was... ...I needed 3 or 4 meetings a week at times- and had none. The bonus here is that we have some of the high motivation members- from different corn...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I know in "that other thread" I said I doubted I would ever be logging in again,yet here I am. I actually logged in because I was going to apologize for the things I said because I wasn't feeling good about myself for it. I felt like I was wrong in what I said and felt I didn't have the right to say what I thought...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the twelve concepts and general warranties of the program. I will admit I dont know a lot about this except when they have been referred to in a meeting. The writer connects the warranties with being able adjust attitudes in relation to making decision...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

I thought I posted this! So sorry everyone. It was sitting here waiting to go as I got ready to write today. What day is it again???? My apologies. Heres last weeks writing: Good morning Everyone: Today?s reading is about our growth toward self sufficiency. Many of us who grew up in alcoholism or h...

foriver · foriver

Hi friends, I've gotten to a point where I don't know if what I'm doing/feeling is considered detaching "with love" or just plain I don't care anymore. I've been with my A for 5.5 years and we have a 1.5 year old daughter together. He relapses every few weeks - months. Never sober longer than 11 months...

DavidG · DavidG

Was in the city last week. At a hearing over child care and protection. I had to flick back- and see if I was repeating myself- and I was just about to. Getting into the present moment has been really hard for me. I was so much caught up between the "if only's" and the what if's. And i had a really big d...

Freetime · Freetime

I am posting very early for Friday -- I have a busy couple of days coming up. Today's page in One Day At A Time in Al-Anon reminds us how it feels to be a newcomer, and how we can best support newcomers. The newcomer usually feels alone in a hostile world, drowning in a sea of troubles. We need to guard agai...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been 54 years since I came to this planet & I never had it so good! All the blessings & positive thoughts for me are far from evident. I really feel that I deserve them & the friends I have met over the years who have been w/ me almost a life time. I have been so blessed w/ all of you that take m...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

When I met the qualifier I had a lot of goals. I also had a lot of hope that my life would get better. I saw him as a good sign. There were a number of red flags there from the beginning. Then a series of catastrophe's Somewhere along the line my goaks evaporared. Despite the pandemic, despite various ob...

dragonfly04 · dragonfly04

Last night was a rough night. My A bf got fired from his job that he just recently got hired from. He started working overnight 8 pm to 6 am. He came home around 2 am last night he said he had gotten fired. He drank a 4 pack of those mini wine bottles during his lunch break and when he returned got into an argumen...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So life is crazy. My AH is up and down (and never the pass out kinds of drunk, just enough to be mean and annoying). He holds a job (works from home) and only drinks at night. But the changes that have come from his drinking in his attitude and his ability to interact with me and family (even when not drink...

DavidG · DavidG

... At our local supermarket there is a young woman of 22. My nephew's kid. 10 years ago our mother died- her grandmother... on the same night her dad died as well. They lived in the neighbourhood. After mum died I heard the news about D. and went around there. I stood with this kid- as she was then- a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading talks about finding our sense of humor. Most of us, when we arrived to the rooms rarely cracked a smile and resented others who did. For some, the laughter in the meetings was hard to understand, as our lives felt tragic and serious. While many changes in recovery are awesome and w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Now & then I really feel the presence of my Higher Power. He leads & guides me through all the good & bad. He listens to my rants & complaints every single day. And, when I fail, he forgives me. I am so blessed. Today I can truly sit here & say I never had it so good! I know some people have...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author quotes the Al-Anon suggested closing (a closing that my home group does not use): "though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you." The author reflects that every Al-Anon meeting is an opportunity to pr...

DavidG · DavidG

I am a leader, in the sense that I have done a lot of the work in Alanon. My goal-set was to be able to be a good example of Alanon recovery. If I don't like the way something is done, I just do it the way I think is most effective. I am liberated enough, and confident enough to do this. I try to be humble. But no l...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am respecting Marasie's original discussion by moving some unrelated dialogue here. I do welcome any member to offer ESH on this thread, if desired. My post: Bo - I can't control how you choose to interpret my warning. That's up to you. What I will say is you have been asked repeatedly via Private...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So .. LOL .. we have a dog who I thought had a lot of schnauzer in him however apparently has more chuchu in him. Being a responsible doggie mommy and it's been years since I have owned a dog and we were not the covid19 let's get a dog we were the pre covid19 of hey this looks fun let's do it .. I remind myself ove...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I'm at work for the good boss yesetrday and he said he wanted to give me as much work as he could, considering the covid, impacting HIS business, etc., and anyway, while we were chatting Liz, the off. mgr at the A-hole's place texted...."omg rosie, he is being so rude to me, I legit wanted to walk out" I c...

akdono · akdono

Hi, everyone I am a newcomer and this is my first post. Thank you for the time ro read my concerns and answer me truthfully. My husband is an alcoholic new to recovery like sober only for one month. He's been home for about two weeks. I have a gut feeling and strong intuition that he has relapsed and contin...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

A main concept of AlAnon is that our focus need be on our own thoughts, perceptions, and actions rather than those of the alcoholic or others. To the extent that we ignore this concept we experience loss of serenity.One excuse we may use to justify interference in the affairs of the alcoholic and other...

DavidG · DavidG

Time is a bit of an illusion for me. As a kid time seemed to take forever. Then I had strong memories of these times- that other people had forgotten. Today is 2020. I went to meditation this morning. There is an old friend there. We share heaps and heaps afterwards. Her oldest son had a garage business...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A Saturday share... (Preview) Steps 10,11,12... The sun is streaming through my window, as I write. Gratitude is a great asset... and it does start with baby steps- we fake it til we make it. Our national programme radio playing in the background... wallpaper. 5 or 6 years ago I still thought and believed that I was 'god's gift to...	DavidG	2	268	Aug 8, 2020 by DavidG
	Tevising expectations (Preview) I grew up in a family where anything could happen any minute. Violence was common, alcohol, gamblimg, projection were all.ways they managed their turmoil. I have no idea how I survived that. Somehow I did. So you.would think growimg up like that that I would be able to live quite normally in these t...	Maresie888	6	303	Aug 8, 2020 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 8/6 (Preview) Tomorrow's Courage to Change is about courage. The page discusses hesitating at times, hoping for a miracle, instead of trusting Higher Power. We often forget that the miracle is already here. With Al-Anon recovery, we each have a Higher Power who is always here for us, helping us to cope with fea...	Iamhere	4	300	Aug 7, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope For Today - August 7 (Preview) Unable to be true to oneself, letting people take advantage in order to please them -- and then feeling either depressed or guilty -- the author was walking this tightrope. As a result of working the Al-Anon program, the author discovered their rights as a person: the right to speak without being int...	Freetime	3	286	Aug 7, 2020 by Lyne
	Personal messaging here- does or don'ts? (Preview) Would I walk into someone's home- without knocking? Without an invitation? Here, in this group I do do a certain amount of personal messaging. It is a really good practise in boundaries. We too have white board messaging as well- which anyone can see. In another group there was a discussion about l...	DavidG	6	393	Aug 6, 2020 by DavidG
	TID BITS OF WISDOM_WEDNESDAY (Preview) Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who sohopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.--Samuel SmilesIt is better to live one day wisely and reflectively than to live ahundred years in ignorance and indulgence."--BuddhaWithout forgiveness life is governed...by an e...	mamalioness	1	243	Aug 6, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change August 5 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on resentments. Prior to Al-Anon, resentments occupied and poisoned most of the author's waking moments. The author could think about resentments for days, weeks, months, or years, constantly justifying why they felt the way they did a...	Skorpi	3	328	Aug 5, 2020 by DavidG
	Step 8, in reverse... tradition 4, too... (Preview) 8.b. Made a list of those who had harmed us and vowed to get even. I can picture an old timer i knew- with hands on her hips- and saying:- "now what have we got here? !!!" In the USA people might have a sponsor- and do the steps away from the group. Larger groups seem to be a place where people come to show-ca...	DavidG	0	291	Aug 5, 2020 by DavidG
	Support needed please (Preview) Dear All, I would appreciate your support please as I am feeling emotionally very low. I have been living with my active AH while we have been saving some money for us to separate. Unfortunately his behaviour has become more and more unacceptable and I have asked him to leave this week on Tuesday (to ...	Bettertomorrow	11	429	Aug 5, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Need ESH (Preview) Anyone have stories to share about divorcing an alcoholic mentally abusive spouse who refuse to work and children were involved? Im at the point of wanting out or maybe I could just say reality. Ive watched many out patient and inpatient attempts end the same way. I feel like Ive been kidding myself t...	sunmustshine	3	315	Aug 5, 2020 by Bettertomorrow
	Language of Letting go_Aug 4_ Vulnerability (Preview) You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Vulnerability I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more in control of myself I really am. --Anonymous Melodie Beattie talks about how many of us can only be strong...stiff upper lip...always confident, we believe t...	mamalioness	0	277	Aug 4, 2020 by mamalioness
	Boundaries (Preview) Hi! Pretty new to this end of the forum. I'm on the ACOA side moreso. Recently my sister has relapsed after 25 years sober. It's a long story, but hard drugs also involved in this relapse, which lasted for about a year. At the time I was focused on being there for her as I could and tried hard not to enable. Be...	cestlavie	3	358	Aug 4, 2020 by Iamhere
	8/4/20 ODAT - Expectations: A Source of Unhappiness (Preview) We may feel they are justified, we may feel we have the right to hold them, but today's reading reminds us that it is from our expectations of others that much of our unhappiness, frustration, and anger may spring.Reminder: Expecting others to follow our determination of what 'should' be done interf...	Enigmatic	4	392	Aug 4, 2020 by Iamhere
	Kicking back and talking about stuff... (Preview) My growing years were fraught. If anything was said:- it seemed to be said through clinched teeth. Moves were like that too- Clint Eastwood spittoon out the end of a cheroot... ...but most movies and books had happy endings- or were meant to. My nearest group- is having a Sunday get together towar...	DavidG	1	289	Aug 4, 2020 by mamalioness
	Hi Everyone, (Preview) been along time away from here, been missing everyone,,life gets super busy. im doing fine,still working my program always will. i have a question to ask ,hoping it can be done. ive got alot of messages here ,private messages between myself and ms betty from way back 2015 up to 2019. im wanting to save t...	lookingup	4	306	Aug 3, 2020 by lookingup
	HP, I THINK I've learned this lesson (Preview) been TRYING without much success to SLOW down and PAY attention as I self sabotage big time....I think I had to disassociate from my body too long and now I don't know how to be in it....so not online very much......trying to just teach me to STOP and BREATH....break this down in chunks....then when I ca...	mamalioness	5	332	Aug 3, 2020 by mamalioness
	easy does it! (Preview) Today is a day to practice easy does it! I spent my entire weekend stressing. Now I want to start anew. I can't count totally depend on counseling to make my decisions but I can try to figure it out on my own. I will stand back & do the footwork when I can. I am hoping today I can share things other than what...	Hoot Nanny	1	289	Aug 3, 2020 by Iamhere
	One Day at a Time in Alanon, 8/3 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 8/3, discusses when it is time to make a self-appraisal. This happens when our own thoughts create turmoil. We are reminded that our first obligation is to work out our own thinking patterns. The reminder says we can change nothing but ourselves, and the principal source o...	Lyne	5	335	Aug 3, 2020 by DavidG
	Where Do You Go? (Preview) A boundary I have set for myself,quite awhile ago,is I refuse to be around AH when he's drinking. It's so different when he drinks compared to other substances and I just simply don't want to be around him when he does. With this pandemic, there's not a lot of options. Oh,and with this extreme heat on to...	SunnyFrogs	18	439	Aug 2, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Sunday sharing... dream dreaming... (Preview) Hi y'all ... My ultimate gurus are Lois and Bill. They have pop star and film star status for me. I have their photo on the wall. But for a long time I wanted to be a guru and leader too! Not surprising since I used Bill's saying a lot. One that appears in the AA Big Book. "Half measures avail us nothing....	DavidG	4	270	Aug 2, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	8/1 C2C - What Is AlAnon About (Preview) Such a great page today in Courage, sums up how so many of us got here but more importantly: how to get to a better place. I came here to change others, but found out I needed to change myself...practice the 12 Steps of AA in my own life, develop a higher power, and accept that I am responsible for the serenit...	Enigmatic	5	370	Aug 2, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today August 2 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the power of prayer, and the idea that we have the ability to pray in many different ways, in different places, and at any time. The writer begins with a description of how sleeping patterns have changed for him/her. The writer describes the inability...	yanksfan51	2	296	Aug 2, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Saturday's Daily 08/01/2020 (Preview) Happy August! Today I will be pulling directly from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. "Say thank you, until you mean it. Thank God, life, and the universe for everyone and everything sent your way. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns...	PosiesandPuppies	2	295	Aug 2, 2020 by mamalioness
	Relationships... (Preview) I say this more times than often. Even as i grow older- much older... Through my 20's my girls friends got rougher and tougher. In my steps 8 and 9 I took account of these people. Being a country lad- I was much slower on the uptake than my urban counterparts- and I could name each one of them. Doing Step...	DavidG	6	347	Aug 1, 2020 by Maresie888
	just want to share of few thoughts. (Preview) Today is a good day just to send out my random thoughts. I realized after reading some of my story that I have an idea. It seems like I can truly say that I can name naming, then I blame blaming & then shame shaming. Now I am claim claiming the fact that I came up w/these thoughts. Maybe this isn't exactly...	Hoot Nanny	2	290	Aug 1, 2020 by Lyne
	Gaslighting, par excellence... (Preview) My home relationship has improved markedly over the last 18 to 24 months. Not quite where I want it- but getting fairly close... I am working part time. SO came home from work and found an element on on the stove. It had been like that since breakfast- so it must have been on very low. She put some toasti...	DavidG	4	314	Jul 31, 2020 by JerryF
	Double binds (Preview) Every day at work I sign s statement that I am feeling well and can work. This oricess is repea4ed when I get to work. So it is twice.once when I check in. Once when I get screened Yesterday I called off. I have been working a lot.lately. my fatigue kevel was high Todsy I get a mote saying ny absence was un...	Maresie888	5	372	Jul 31, 2020 by Maresie888
	Hope For Today - July 31 (Preview) The author remembered reading a magazine article stating that the correct use of the mind leads to wisdom and the incorrect use of the mind mind leads to insanity. When coming into Al-Anon, the author realized that the core of the program was based on the right use of the mind as well as the heart. The au...	Freetime	4	247	Jul 31, 2020 by DavidG
	Courage to Change 7/30 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about decisions and choices we can make to be happy. We have all heard that happiness is an inside job, and that we can be as happy as we choose to me. While we all recognize it's unrealistic to be happy all the time, we can be happy most of the time if we make a commi...	Iamhere	5	300	Jul 30, 2020 by DavidG
	Courage to Change July 29 (Preview) In today's reading, the author reflects on the spiritual nature of the Al-Anon program. Al-Anon is not based on any particular religion, and no religious belief is required. There is not a specific dogma or philosophy. The important part is believing in a power greater than ourselves. We need this h...	Skorpi	3	350	Jul 29, 2020 by Iamhere
	Lies (Preview) I have been working briefly with a coworker who compulsively lies. His lies are not anything that can affect my.job I spent years with the qualifier who lied comoulsively. He lied about crashing the car repeatedly (which I paid for). He lied about working, where he was, virtually anything he was res...	Maresie888	8	407	Jul 29, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	ODAT in alanon, 7/27 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 7/27, asks the question: If alcoholism/addictions did not exist, would marriages and all other relationships be perfect? And of course the answer is no: sobriety does not end all problems. It is true that alcoholism does wreck marriages that might have otherwise been s...	Lyne	3	318	Jul 28, 2020 by Maresie888
	I hope this doesn't get old. (Preview) I really hope this doesn't get old. I am writing my life story as I speak. It has been over a year since I started in early July last year. It is very detailed & I hope it doesn't get too boring! I feel very exited about my memories! I really have a good story to tell--the whole truth! I feel like maybe I sh...	Hoot Nanny	4	270	Jul 28, 2020 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change 7/25/2020 (Preview) Good morning MIP family! Today's reading talks about Courage. The author talks about after years and years of letting people take advantage of them, they had come to Al-Anon with quite a store of anger, resentment and guilt. So many times they wanted to "bite off their tongue" for saying "Yes," when w...	PosiesandPuppies	8	281	Jul 28, 2020 by Maresie888
	Greetings (Preview) 11 plus years sober. Was very sad to hear of Betty's passing. Working daily still as rehab is "essential" healthcare. It is crazy cuz I have plenty of exposure to barely recovering or relapsing people but now limited AA (and Alanon). BUT...on the flip side....still have a job and income and more likel...	pinkchip	10	513	Jul 28, 2020 by andromeda
	C2C 7/28/20 - Keep Coming Back: Benefits (Preview) AlAnon is a spiritual recovery program that yields miracles after persistent, consistent thought and effort. This can be compared to the work of a stone cutter who may strike a stone 99 times with no apparent effect before the rewarding break on the 100th. Acceptance of Alcoholism as a disease, acce...	Enigmatic	5	338	Jul 28, 2020 by Iamhere
	I'm a loud mouthed schnook! (Preview) Good Afternoon All. Earlier I waded in on a post without properly introducing myself. My intent was not to offend, but share how applying Alanon priciples have enriched my life. I entered AA recovery 25 years ago when my then hubby kicked me to the curb. Smart man. He cut his losses quickly. I was in...	Toronto	7	432	Jul 27, 2020 by Jen61
	How to detach from an alcoholic when doing so leaves them in physical danger (Preview) Ive been dragged into my alcoholic siblings problem for the last several months. It started as helping her get to detox (more than once) and once to rehab (she was sober for maybe 30 days after the rehab). Two months ago she had a bad fall and broke her arm, so needed help at home for awhile and has been un...	Christiob	5	385	Jul 27, 2020 by Jen61
	A daily, or weekly share...??? (Preview) Hi y'a'll... Having this group here, and the MIP groups generally has been a great boon for me. It has taken me beyond the possible... as it was... ...I needed 3 or 4 meetings a week at times- and had none. The bonus here is that we have some of the high motivation members- from different corn...	DavidG	1	263	Jul 27, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Take What You Like And Leave The Rest (Preview) I know in "that other thread" I said I doubted I would ever be logging in again,yet here I am. I actually logged in because I was going to apologize for the things I said because I wasn't feeling good about myself for it. I felt like I was wrong in what I said and felt I didn't have the right to say what I thought...	SunnyFrogs	9	404	Jul 26, 2020 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today July 26 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the twelve concepts and general warranties of the program. I will admit I dont know a lot about this except when they have been referred to in a meeting. The writer connects the warranties with being able adjust attitudes in relation to making decision...	yanksfan51	2	283	Jul 26, 2020 by Iamhere
	Last week’s hope for today! July 19 (Preview) I thought I posted this! So sorry everyone. It was sitting here waiting to go as I got ready to write today. What day is it again???? My apologies. Heres last weeks writing: Good morning Everyone: Today?s reading is about our growth toward self sufficiency. Many of us who grew up in alcoholism or h...	yanksfan51	1	254	Jul 26, 2020 by Freetime
	How to detach with love...not just completely stop caring... (Preview) Hi friends, I've gotten to a point where I don't know if what I'm doing/feeling is considered detaching "with love" or just plain I don't care anymore. I've been with my A for 5.5 years and we have a 1.5 year old daughter together. He relapses every few weeks - months. Never sober longer than 11 months...	foriver	8	482	Jul 26, 2020 by 2HP
	Good news comes last... sometimes... (Preview) Was in the city last week. At a hearing over child care and protection. I had to flick back- and see if I was repeating myself- and I was just about to. Getting into the present moment has been really hard for me. I was so much caught up between the "if only's" and the what if's. And i had a really big d...	DavidG	0	214	Jul 25, 2020 by DavidG
	ODAAT - July 24 - Welcoming Newcomers (Preview) I am posting very early for Friday -- I have a busy couple of days coming up. Today's page in One Day At A Time in Al-Anon reminds us how it feels to be a newcomer, and how we can best support newcomers. The newcomer usually feels alone in a hostile world, drowning in a sea of troubles. We need to guard agai...	Freetime	8	302	Jul 25, 2020 by mamalioness
	birthday blessings & wishes. (Preview) It has been 54 years since I came to this planet & I never had it so good! All the blessings & positive thoughts for me are far from evident. I really feel that I deserve them & the friends I have met over the years who have been w/ me almost a life time. I have been so blessed w/ all of you that take m...	Hoot Nanny	2	250	Jul 25, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Goals (Preview) When I met the qualifier I had a lot of goals. I also had a lot of hope that my life would get better. I saw him as a good sign. There were a number of red flags there from the beginning. Then a series of catastrophe's Somewhere along the line my goaks evaporared. Despite the pandemic, despite various ob...	Maresie888	5	383	Jul 25, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Learning how to detach (Preview) Last night was a rough night. My A bf got fired from his job that he just recently got hired from. He started working overnight 8 pm to 6 am. He came home around 2 am last night he said he had gotten fired. He drank a 4 pack of those mini wine bottles during his lunch break and when he returned got into an argumen...	dragonfly04	14	477	Jul 24, 2020 by JerryF
	has anyone needed extra help (like medication) while dealing with all this? (Preview) So life is crazy. My AH is up and down (and never the pass out kinds of drunk, just enough to be mean and annoying). He holds a job (works from home) and only drinks at night. But the changes that have come from his drinking in his attitude and his ability to interact with me and family (even when not drink...	Dancer66	14	670	Jul 24, 2020 by Maresie888
	Step 12... stepping out... (Preview) ... At our local supermarket there is a young woman of 22. My nephew's kid. 10 years ago our mother died- her grandmother... on the same night her dad died as well. They lived in the neighbourhood. After mum died I heard the news about D. and went around there. I stood with this kid- as she was then- a...	DavidG	1	248	Jul 24, 2020 by Lyne
	Courage to Change 7/23 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading talks about finding our sense of humor. Most of us, when we arrived to the rooms rarely cracked a smile and resented others who did. For some, the laughter in the meetings was hard to understand, as our lives felt tragic and serious. While many changes in recovery are awesome and w...	Iamhere	4	285	Jul 23, 2020 by serenity47
	God always steps in... (Preview) Now & then I really feel the presence of my Higher Power. He leads & guides me through all the good & bad. He listens to my rants & complaints every single day. And, when I fail, he forgives me. I am so blessed. Today I can truly sit here & say I never had it so good! I know some people have...	Hoot Nanny	5	296	Jul 23, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change July 22 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author quotes the Al-Anon suggested closing (a closing that my home group does not use): "though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you." The author reflects that every Al-Anon meeting is an opportunity to pr...	Skorpi	6	411	Jul 22, 2020 by DavidG
	Tradition 2, for myself... (Preview) I am a leader, in the sense that I have done a lot of the work in Alanon. My goal-set was to be able to be a good example of Alanon recovery. If I don't like the way something is done, I just do it the way I think is most effective. I am liberated enough, and confident enough to do this. I try to be humble. But no l...	DavidG	1	228	Jul 22, 2020 by Temple
	Clarifying - for Bo - Continued Dialogue for Cross-Talk, Quoting, Courtesy (closed) (Preview) I am respecting Marasie's original discussion by moving some unrelated dialogue here. I do welcome any member to offer ESH on this thread, if desired. My post: Bo - I can't control how you choose to interpret my warning. That's up to you. What I will say is you have been asked repeatedly via Private...	Iamhere	30	621	Jul 22, 2020 by Iamhere
	Funny Story ... (Preview) So .. LOL .. we have a dog who I thought had a lot of schnauzer in him however apparently has more chuchu in him. Being a responsible doggie mommy and it's been years since I have owned a dog and we were not the covid19 let's get a dog we were the pre covid19 of hey this looks fun let's do it .. I remind myself ove...	SerenityRUS	6	358	Jul 21, 2020 by mamalioness
	Feedback appreciated (Preview) I'm at work for the good boss yesetrday and he said he wanted to give me as much work as he could, considering the covid, impacting HIS business, etc., and anyway, while we were chatting Liz, the off. mgr at the A-hole's place texted...."omg rosie, he is being so rude to me, I legit wanted to walk out" I c...	mamalioness	31	452	Jul 21, 2020 by mamalioness
	Should I trust my intuition about my husband relapsing (Preview) Hi, everyone I am a newcomer and this is my first post. Thank you for the time ro read my concerns and answer me truthfully. My husband is an alcoholic new to recovery like sober only for one month. He's been home for about two weeks. I have a gut feeling and strong intuition that he has relapsed and contin...	akdono	8	535	Jul 21, 2020 by Bettertomorrow
	C2C 7/21/20 Why We Must Avoid Interfering, Even When Difficult (Preview) A main concept of AlAnon is that our focus need be on our own thoughts, perceptions, and actions rather than those of the alcoholic or others. To the extent that we ignore this concept we experience loss of serenity.One excuse we may use to justify interference in the affairs of the alcoholic and other...	Enigmatic	4	327	Jul 21, 2020 by Maresie888
	Good news looking better... (Preview) Time is a bit of an illusion for me. As a kid time seemed to take forever. Then I had strong memories of these times- that other people had forgotten. Today is 2020. I went to meditation this morning. There is an old friend there. We share heaps and heaps afterwards. Her oldest son had a garage business...	DavidG	0	244	Jul 20, 2020 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.