Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

WendyP · WendyP

The reader was sharing about Step 8 and 9 about making amends,but still felt some anger and resentment towards the Alcoholic and the non Alcoholic Partner. They asked shouldn't they make amends to them. That was how I felt in early recovery, I knew that I had been badly treated as a child, my childhood h...

a4l · a4l

Hello family. Well the ink is not dry on my divorce. Actually I have to run into court and chase it up as we're not known for competence and the damn thing should have been called by now. As I'm back to work in another area of law from next week I will follow it up when I'm in for discovery duties . Perhaps being...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I think it is crucial to point out that for the past year we have been dealing with major traumatic stress . For over a year we have been dealing with an epidemic where we feel helpless and fearful. For over a year we have not known how things will go. Every day there is a new disaster. The disaster might n...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on strengths and weaknesses. The author has found that sometimes, what we think of as our greatest weakness actually turns out to be our biggest strength. The author spent years wishing that they could be courageous, but it...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes that some may expect problems to disappear if/when the drinking stops. There are more challenges ahead, however, as home responsibilities recalibrate, the newly sober individual pursue a new set of activities (AA meetings, etc), and we continue working on our own recovery...

Fedora · Fedora

My Q just wrote me a super long letter which he promises is the last one he'll ever write to me. He basically accused me of all the things wrong in the world and completely negated the effect of alcohol on anything. This started with an argument in the morning and ended with this. At first my blood was Boil...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/26, asks the question: Whats so wonderful about alanon? It helps us see ourselves as we really are. Are we brave enough to acknowledge our faults? Can we examine with courage and honesty, our good and bad qualities? Alanon helps those who want to break down our broken par...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the difference between introspection and meditation and the uses of both in recovery. The writer describes both as healing tools, but not in and of themselves, rather in conjunction with action. Introspection is described as turning spiritual ene...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who did not feel any feelings, or as they learned in Al-Anon, had lost touch with their feelings through years of living with alcoholism. Not having feelings was like "being dead," but as they began to recover and to experience their feelings. it was so u...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Saturday MIP. I've got about 15 guys on top of my roof pounding and working -- did not even realize it was Saturday. Perfect reading for how my day is unfolding - our slogan 'Easy Does It'. The quote from "Youth and the Alcoholic Parent": "Easy does it . . . Think about it when you're in a hurry to do...

DavidG · DavidG

Thanks for reading this. Last week I had a family issue- which was manageable. In my early 20's i was a deep deep trouble- so I took the route of doing voluntary work. I was between jobs more than onceso I used this time to try and do some good. My closest friends were junkies, really. I cam back home in 1...

JerryF · JerryF

Good morning family and I am happy to have the opportunity again to state my thankfulness and amazement on how and when HP does and will use program tools (CAL) to center and hold my attention as it reveals deep lessons I need to focus on. I am talking about the pages of the day from our literature which I w...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading is about tradition 4, and how each group is autonomous. This means that each group can conduct meetings in a way that works for the members of that group, as long as it abides by the traditions and doesn't harm the unity of Al-Anon. Some groups follow the suggested meeting fo...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading asks the question, "How can I both love and hate the alcoholic?It is suggested that we would not feel love and hate if we did not care about that person and that love is an emotion that is acharacteristic of a shared life but hate is love that has become distorted due to distrust and hopeles...

serenity47 · serenity47

When I look at my user name, it reminds me that I was 47 when i came to this forum. I am now 53. 6 years have flown by in the blink of an eye literally. Those years will pass one way or the other. I get to decide how I will spend that time. I wasted a few years of my life fighting against the disease. Time that I...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading acknowledges the challenge of consistently applying the guidance of the program in the midst of a crisis. Rather than beat ourselves up if we struggle, we can take comfort knowing recovery is a process, we are improving, and we will have another opportunity to apply our tools. Remin...

DavidG · DavidG

I had a tough week last week. Was totally zoned out at my F2F meeting. Just as well we are allowed to be ourselves inside the rooms. Over Covid I cut down on meetings. I do ACA and Alanon. I don't need meetings nearly so much. But I find I am still learning lots and lots of stuff... ... Found out last week t...

a4l · a4l

Hi mip family. I've been diagnosed with a case of dengue fever this week. A comparatively mild but nonetheless very unpleasant strain which is finally beginning to ease this afternoon. It's left me easily fatigued and generally weak and tired. The family have been living on takeout and canned beans...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading asks whether we are justified in getting angry with a person who is in an alcoholic fog. It is suggested that if we do get angry we are not accepting the "truth" that alcoholism is a disease. Outbursts and accusations do not improve the situation and in fact increase our frustration...

Ileana · Ileana

Hi everyone, I'm taking a big personal risk here, I desperately need to share my resentments from a Step 4 I'm doing, I'm not comfortable with having a sponsor, the past showed me I make bad choices, I am more comfortable with the idea of being read by a group of fellow travelers (in the hope that someone...

Lyne · Lyne

The first line of the reading for Monday, 4/19, is as follows: Learning about alcoholism has helped me to find serenity after years of struggling. It goes on to say that alcoholics have a diseasethey are ill, not bad. We can learn what is and is not reasonable to expect. We can adjust our expectatio...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer of today's page discovered having a choice about their own attitude, and how the way we interpret an event is the key to happiness. Instead of always waiting for others to show love and approval -- and being unhappy when it was never shown in the desired way -- the writer has learned in Al-An...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP & Happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is about the First Tradition of our program, "Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity." Many of us, prior to recovery, experienced anxious moments at work or in family settings when it was decision time. We would...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is summed up in the Thought for the Day: I cant turn something over until I truly own it. The writer describes having difficulty with the word sanity in step two. His/her sponsor suggested making a list of all the things that were done to try and control the alcohol...

JTS79 · JTS79

Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...

goddessofwriting · goddessofwriting

I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...

Ala2021 · Ala2021

My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...

MaggieT · MaggieT

Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...

MDA · MDA

Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...

DavidG · DavidG

Got inspired to do a little more. These days I have contact with sibs and cousins via facebook really. Facebook gets it's fait bit of flak- but it does keep people connected. So decided to reach out to a brother. He had a small business- in an industrial area of the city. Bu this landlord found out that h...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

AH apologized to me today for some things he said/did last night. He apologized through a text, which I did read but didn't respond to yet. He isn't home right now and won't be for awhile. I haven't responded yet because it has sent me into deep thought about the whole thing and I wanted to come here and hop...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer of today's page defines detachment as "emotionally separating myself from the disease of alcoholism." They thought it was easy to do if they attached with indifference, because they had years of practice at denying their feelings. Detaching with love, though -- that seemed out of the...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Posting quite a bit late today - thanks for your patience! In today's share, the author reflects on how, as many of us recover in Al-Anon, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts. In this way, we are able to notice when our thinking begins to be distorted. Some call this distorted...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading involves the powerful namesake of this daily reader. If we are feeling down, it's a good bet that we are ruminating over past, or forecasting a fearful future.This is a negative, debilitating thinking pattern that is challenging, but not impossible, to adjust. Alanon can help us us...

Ileana · Ileana

I feel sad tonight about the relationship I have with my sister. Today we only communicate at holydays and birthdays. I remember the times when we were young and we played together. I was the oldest and she even thought sometimes that I was cool. And at some point she preferred scapegoating me like my pa...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/12, talks about how we may wish for a quick fix or an immediate solution, even if the problem has existed for decades. Grant me patience, Lordand hurry! Some people will even launch into self-blame, as though there is something wrong with them because they cannot alleviat...

Ileana · Ileana

Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA member from the board 'next door'. I have been an Al-Anon member in the past, and gave up my online Al-Anon group for trigger issues. I had met people who were too much like my mother, and could not cope with it. I have been in other fellowships as well ... let's say 12 steps has been m...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Greetings, friends. Been a few minutes since I been here. Got a major change coming. I'm getting old. I'll be 65 next month, standard age of retirement round here. And, I'm going to retire. I actually had taken an early retirement at 63 and they asked me to come in and work a few shifts. That was 2 years ago...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about awareness of our feelings, and in a sense, honoring them- whether they are positive or not. The writer describes responding to his/her fathers alcoholism by behaving predictably and in a controlled way. The energy it took to deal with the alcoholi...

DavidG · DavidG

In our groups- I am aware that we are supposed to tell our full story to our sponsor. I was in Alanon before sponsorship was recommended, and so- at the time we told our story to our whole group. Sponsorship came later. But I am aware that i tailor my sharing to the meeting i am at. Sometimes I tell some a...

Rimjhim · Rimjhim

My ex and I have 2 kids together. He passed away when they were 14, few days before their bday. Since then both of the kids have been acting up, smoking, drinking. Yoo gets is close to 17 and ina mental hospital because she wanted to kill herself, infront of me/ so I can feel the pain I put her through. I admi...

DavidG · DavidG

Live and let live, I think is the official Alanon slogan. My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice." Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids. A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made go...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses anonymity and how important it truly is. The writer suggests that fear of others finding out about their problems had them resisting going to Al-Anon. They didn't want anyone to find out, including their A. The writer's first step confirmed the fear...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. The reading in Courage to Change today is about Step 8. Quote: "With this Step we sort out our part, taking responsibility for our actions but also releasing ourselves . . . from the burden of falsely-held responsibilities. . . . In All Our Affairs Reminder: Certainly I make ch...

WebHelper · WebHelper

The Sparklit Board Funding has been expended. We are asking in the spirit of Tradition 7 for funding to continue the forums. Sparklit ActiveBoard Donations GoDaddy will be ready for renewal in May as well. We are looking for a solution for accepting donations. Last year we used my business PayPal a...

DavidG · DavidG

I scorned the slogan for some years- because they were too folksy and simplistic. There seemed to be a stable of 16 of them- and woe betide anyone who uttered one that was not conference approved. However many of the things we remember and repeat do appear, also in our literature. In this g...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I just wanted to say "Thank you" to David for helping me to get in touch with Hidden. I was locked out for over a week!! I still came to read though, so I appreciate everyone's Experience Strength and Hope, and their dedication to Service. Thank you Hidden for looking into this, and helping me to get back o...

FluffyDogMom · FluffyDogMom

Hi everyone. I am new to these boards, although I have been to face to face meetings a few times before. I am currently struggling with how to handle a situation with my dad that has escalated over the past several days. A few months ago, he started giving me the silent treatment.... he did not stop talk...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT suggest that trying to control the alcoholic in our life is like trying to control the tides. It is also suggested that instead, we control our own thoughts, words and actions and therefore leaveroom for our improvement, because it truly is our obligation to have and find a satisfying li...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello! I've been away from this board for awhile but I wanted to come back and say hi. The last year has been challenging. But I am headed in a new and good direction. 5 years ago I landed on this board in a state of desperation. Q had just gotten in trouble for the first time related to alcohol at our shared pl...

Shipshape · Shipshape

I am new here. I have never posted before, but tonight I need support! I am 50 years old. I have been married for 27 years to my husband, whom I love very very much. We have 3 daughters that are all adults and 2 of them still live at home (we are a very close family). I take turns with my sister staying at my...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author reflects on the power of their imagination. Invited to speak at a different meeting, the author conjured up a large group of serious Al-Anon members meeting in a perfect location with a perfect meeting format. The author's role in this visualization was as the guest sp...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading observes the similarities of the common cold, alcoholism, and us Alanoners: all have definite, observable symptoms (Alanoners: obsession, anxiety, anger, denial, guilt to name just a few) and none chose to have the illness.Unlike a cold, however, alcoholism doesn't go away on i...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Oh do I feel like an idiotI have my clients stuff for a week and I felt kind of icky about one of his kids tax returns but I could not put my finger on it because the filing version looked OK and so he comes today and we are chatting about Social security and I said oh yeah you want to pay Social Security because t...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/5, talks about when the alcoholic finds sobriety. There are still challenges and we may be disappointed to not find the happily ever after ending we were looking for. Problems that were attributed to drinking may still persist. Even longtime alanon members may need ext...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the negative energy spent in resentment and the power of forgiveness. The writer describes feeling much resentment toward an alcoholic mother who was not capable of unconditional love. Before alanon, the writer felt consumed with the energy of res...

WendyP · WendyP

I live in a very strange Country, we have had really bad, long droughts, then destructive Bush Fires, and now there are Floods sweeping the Country, My heart goes out to all the people that are affected by all of it, when I see pictures of the destruction, and the extent, I feel very sad. The Courage it ta...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hope For Today's reading. April 29th. (Preview) The reader was sharing about Step 8 and 9 about making amends,but still felt some anger and resentment towards the Alcoholic and the non Alcoholic Partner. They asked shouldn't they make amends to them. That was how I felt in early recovery, I knew that I had been badly treated as a child, my childhood h...	WendyP	4	564	Apr 29, 2021 by Iamhere
	A silly share about love. (Preview) Hello family. Well the ink is not dry on my divorce. Actually I have to run into court and chase it up as we're not known for competence and the damn thing should have been called by now. As I'm back to work in another area of law from next week I will follow it up when I'm in for discovery duties . Perhaps being...	a4l	10	2976	Apr 29, 2021 by Maresie888
	Traumatic stress Al anon (Preview) I think it is crucial to point out that for the past year we have been dealing with major traumatic stress . For over a year we have been dealing with an epidemic where we feel helpless and fearful. For over a year we have not known how things will go. Every day there is a new disaster. The disaster might n...	Maresie888	20	1405	Apr 28, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change April 28 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on strengths and weaknesses. The author has found that sometimes, what we think of as our greatest weakness actually turns out to be our biggest strength. The author spent years wishing that they could be courageous, but it...	Skorpi	6	507	Apr 28, 2021 by Maresie888
	4/27/21 One Day at a Time in AlAnon – Drinking Stops = Problems End? (Preview) Today's reading notes that some may expect problems to disappear if/when the drinking stops. There are more challenges ahead, however, as home responsibilities recalibrate, the newly sober individual pursue a new set of activities (AA meetings, etc), and we continue working on our own recovery...	Enigmatic	4	735	Apr 27, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Gaslighting from Q (Preview) My Q just wrote me a super long letter which he promises is the last one he'll ever write to me. He basically accused me of all the things wrong in the world and completely negated the effect of alcohol on anything. This started with an argument in the morning and ended with this. At first my blood was Boil...	Fedora	13	1329	Apr 27, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	ODAT in alanon, 4/26 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/26, asks the question: Whats so wonderful about alanon? It helps us see ourselves as we really are. Are we brave enough to acknowledge our faults? Can we examine with courage and honesty, our good and bad qualities? Alanon helps those who want to break down our broken par...	Lyne	4	596	Apr 26, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Apr 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the difference between introspection and meditation and the uses of both in recovery. The writer describes both as healing tools, but not in and of themselves, rather in conjunction with action. Introspection is described as turning spiritual ene...	yanksfan51	4	611	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 23 - Courage to Change - Feelings! (Preview) Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who did not feel any feelings, or as they learned in Al-Anon, had lost touch with their feelings through years of living with alcoholism. Not having feelings was like "being dead," but as they began to recover and to experience their feelings. it was so u...	Freetime	11	2528	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/24 (Preview) Happy Saturday MIP. I've got about 15 guys on top of my roof pounding and working -- did not even realize it was Saturday. Perfect reading for how my day is unfolding - our slogan 'Easy Does It'. The quote from "Youth and the Alcoholic Parent": "Easy does it . . . Think about it when you're in a hurry to do...	Iamhere	6	608	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	...self sabotage, through ingrained shame... (Preview) Thanks for reading this. Last week I had a family issue- which was manageable. In my early 20's i was a deep deep trouble- so I took the route of doing voluntary work. I was between jobs more than onceso I used this time to try and do some good. My closest friends were junkies, really. I cam back home in 1...	DavidG	7	679	Apr 25, 2021 by DavidG
	HP demonstrating over again what it can and will do for my healing. (Preview) Good morning family and I am happy to have the opportunity again to state my thankfulness and amazement on how and when HP does and will use program tools (CAL) to center and hold my attention as it reveals deep lessons I need to focus on. I am talking about the pages of the day from our literature which I w...	JerryF	10	665	Apr 23, 2021 by JerryF
	Courage to Change April 21 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading is about tradition 4, and how each group is autonomous. This means that each group can conduct meetings in a way that works for the members of that group, as long as it abides by the traditions and doesn't harm the unity of Al-Anon. Some groups follow the suggested meeting fo...	Skorpi	8	918	Apr 23, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 22, 2021 – ODAT – The Emotions Love & Hate (Preview) Todays reading asks the question, "How can I both love and hate the alcoholic?It is suggested that we would not feel love and hate if we did not care about that person and that love is an emotion that is acharacteristic of a shared life but hate is love that has become distorted due to distrust and hopeles...	Debb	8	1018	Apr 22, 2021 by a4l
	Time passes one way or the other (Preview) When I look at my user name, it reminds me that I was 47 when i came to this forum. I am now 53. 6 years have flown by in the blink of an eye literally. Those years will pass one way or the other. I get to decide how I will spend that time. I wasted a few years of my life fighting against the disease. Time that I...	serenity47	4	548	Apr 22, 2021 by Iamhere
	4/20/21 One Day at a Time - Easy Does It (Preview) Today's reading acknowledges the challenge of consistently applying the guidance of the program in the midst of a crisis. Rather than beat ourselves up if we struggle, we can take comfort knowing recovery is a process, we are improving, and we will have another opportunity to apply our tools. Remin...	Enigmatic	10	730	Apr 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	Letter home... (Preview) I had a tough week last week. Was totally zoned out at my F2F meeting. Just as well we are allowed to be ourselves inside the rooms. Over Covid I cut down on meetings. I do ACA and Alanon. I don't need meetings nearly so much. But I find I am still learning lots and lots of stuff... ... Found out last week t...	DavidG	5	618	Apr 21, 2021 by DavidG
	Weekend thoughts. (Preview) Hi mip family. I've been diagnosed with a case of dengue fever this week. A comparatively mild but nonetheless very unpleasant strain which is finally beginning to ease this afternoon. It's left me easily fatigued and generally weak and tired. The family have been living on takeout and canned beans...	a4l	7	1021	Apr 21, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	April 15, 2021 – ODAT – Getting Angry (Preview) Todays reading asks whether we are justified in getting angry with a person who is in an alcoholic fog. It is suggested that if we do get angry we are not accepting the "truth" that alcoholism is a disease. Outbursts and accusations do not improve the situation and in fact increase our frustration...	Debb	9	635	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Step 4 resentments (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm taking a big personal risk here, I desperately need to share my resentments from a Step 4 I'm doing, I'm not comfortable with having a sponsor, the past showed me I make bad choices, I am more comfortable with the idea of being read by a group of fellow travelers (in the hope that someone...	Ileana	8	2711	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 4/19 (Preview) The first line of the reading for Monday, 4/19, is as follows: Learning about alcoholism has helped me to find serenity after years of struggling. It goes on to say that alcoholics have a diseasethey are ill, not bad. We can learn what is and is not reasonable to expect. We can adjust our expectatio...	Lyne	7	1956	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change, April 16 - Attitude (Preview) The writer of today's page discovered having a choice about their own attitude, and how the way we interpret an event is the key to happiness. Instead of always waiting for others to show love and approval -- and being unhappy when it was never shown in the desired way -- the writer has learned in Al-An...	Freetime	8	2737	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP & Happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is about the First Tradition of our program, "Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity." Many of us, prior to recovery, experienced anxious moments at work or in family settings when it was decision time. We would...	Iamhere	4	640	Apr 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today April 18 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is summed up in the Thought for the Day: I cant turn something over until I truly own it. The writer describes having difficulty with the word sanity in step two. His/her sponsor suggested making a list of all the things that were done to try and control the alcohol...	yanksfan51	7	3723	Apr 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Clarification (Preview) Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...	JTS79	4	3979	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	I feel stuck (Preview) I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...	goddessofwriting	12	2302	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	A Saturday Share... (Preview) Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...	DavidG	4	912	Apr 18, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	1st time here (Preview) My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...	Ala2021	9	3398	Apr 17, 2021 by a4l
	miss you all! (Preview) Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...	Hoot Nanny	6	1807	Apr 17, 2021 by DavidG
	Advice needed - asap Alcohol advice alcoholic (Preview) Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...	MaggieT	13	6272	Apr 17, 2021 by Ileana
	Materials for family members to read to help understand alcoholism? (Preview) Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...	MDA	6	4994	Apr 16, 2021 by Breakingfree
	Blended family and staying in my hula hoop! (Preview) Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...	Breakingfree	5	999	Apr 16, 2021 by Iamhere
	A lurch forwards... (Preview) Got inspired to do a little more. These days I have contact with sibs and cousins via facebook really. Facebook gets it's fait bit of flak- but it does keep people connected. So decided to reach out to a brother. He had a small business- in an industrial area of the city. Bu this landlord found out that h...	DavidG	5	616	Apr 16, 2021 by Ileana
	Accepting An Apology (Preview) AH apologized to me today for some things he said/did last night. He apologized through a text, which I did read but didn't respond to yet. He isn't home right now and won't be for awhile. I haven't responded yet because it has sent me into deep thought about the whole thing and I wanted to come here and hop...	SunnyFrogs	15	1246	Apr 16, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change - April 9 - Detachment with Love (Preview) The writer of today's page defines detachment as "emotionally separating myself from the disease of alcoholism." They thought it was easy to do if they attached with indifference, because they had years of practice at denying their feelings. Detaching with love, though -- that seemed out of the...	Freetime	15	2726	Apr 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change April 14 (Preview) Hello MIP! Posting quite a bit late today - thanks for your patience! In today's share, the author reflects on how, as many of us recover in Al-Anon, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts. In this way, we are able to notice when our thinking begins to be distorted. Some call this distorted...	Skorpi	5	592	Apr 15, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	4/13/21 One Day at a Time …All of the time (Preview) Today's reading involves the powerful namesake of this daily reader. If we are feeling down, it's a good bet that we are ruminating over past, or forecasting a fearful future.This is a negative, debilitating thinking pattern that is challenging, but not impossible, to adjust. Alanon can help us us...	Enigmatic	10	1785	Apr 14, 2021 by Maresie888
	powerless ... (Preview) I feel sad tonight about the relationship I have with my sister. Today we only communicate at holydays and birthdays. I remember the times when we were young and we played together. I was the oldest and she even thought sometimes that I was cool. And at some point she preferred scapegoating me like my pa...	Ileana	9	2564	Apr 14, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 4/12 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/12, talks about how we may wish for a quick fix or an immediate solution, even if the problem has existed for decades. Grant me patience, Lordand hurry! Some people will even launch into self-blame, as though there is something wrong with them because they cannot alleviat...	Lyne	7	3011	Apr 14, 2021 by Maresie888
	hello (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA member from the board 'next door'. I have been an Al-Anon member in the past, and gave up my online Al-Anon group for trigger issues. I had met people who were too much like my mother, and could not cope with it. I have been in other fellowships as well ... let's say 12 steps has been m...	Ileana	7	1712	Apr 14, 2021 by Ileana
	Change (Preview) Greetings, friends. Been a few minutes since I been here. Got a major change coming. I'm getting old. I'll be 65 next month, standard age of retirement round here. And, I'm going to retire. I actually had taken an early retirement at 63 and they asked me to come in and work a few shifts. That was 2 years ago...	Wolfie55	10	3061	Apr 13, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 11 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about awareness of our feelings, and in a sense, honoring them- whether they are positive or not. The writer describes responding to his/her fathers alcoholism by behaving predictably and in a controlled way. The energy it took to deal with the alcoholi...	yanksfan51	7	3574	Apr 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	My Story... (Preview) In our groups- I am aware that we are supposed to tell our full story to our sponsor. I was in Alanon before sponsorship was recommended, and so- at the time we told our story to our whole group. Sponsorship came later. But I am aware that i tailor my sharing to the meeting i am at. Sometimes I tell some a...	DavidG	9	3458	Apr 13, 2021 by DavidG
	Angry children (Preview) My ex and I have 2 kids together. He passed away when they were 14, few days before their bday. Since then both of the kids have been acting up, smoking, drinking. Yoo gets is close to 17 and ina mental hospital because she wanted to kill herself, infront of me/ so I can feel the pain I put her through. I admi...	Rimjhim	9	3698	Apr 13, 2021 by Ileana
	Minding my own business. (Preview) Live and let live, I think is the official Alanon slogan. My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice." Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids. A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made go...	DavidG	4	3956	Apr 11, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change 4/3 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses anonymity and how important it truly is. The writer suggests that fear of others finding out about their problems had them resisting going to Al-Anon. They didn't want anyone to find out, including their A. The writer's first step confirmed the fear...	Iamhere	13	3210	Apr 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/10 (Preview) Good morning MIP. The reading in Courage to Change today is about Step 8. Quote: "With this Step we sort out our part, taking responsibility for our actions but also releasing ourselves . . . from the burden of falsely-held responsibilities. . . . In All Our Affairs Reminder: Certainly I make ch...	Iamhere	5	3709	Apr 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Sparklit Board & GoDaddy Funding Request (Preview) The Sparklit Board Funding has been expended. We are asking in the spirit of Tradition 7 for funding to continue the forums. Sparklit ActiveBoard Donations GoDaddy will be ready for renewal in May as well. We are looking for a solution for accepting donations. Last year we used my business PayPal a...	WebHelper	0	5195	Apr 10, 2021 by WebHelper
	Our slogan- think... (Preview) I scorned the slogan for some years- because they were too folksy and simplistic. There seemed to be a stable of 16 of them- and woe betide anyone who uttered one that was not conference approved. However many of the things we remember and repeat do appear, also in our literature. In this g...	DavidG	5	1106	Apr 10, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Thank you David (Preview) I just wanted to say "Thank you" to David for helping me to get in touch with Hidden. I was locked out for over a week!! I still came to read though, so I appreciate everyone's Experience Strength and Hope, and their dedication to Service. Thank you Hidden for looking into this, and helping me to get back o...	PosiesandPuppies	7	720	Apr 10, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Setting and Keeping Boundaries with Volatile Family Members (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to these boards, although I have been to face to face meetings a few times before. I am currently struggling with how to handle a situation with my dad that has escalated over the past several days. A few months ago, he started giving me the silent treatment.... he did not stop talk...	FluffyDogMom	7	1837	Apr 10, 2021 by mamalioness
	April 8, 2021 – ODAT – Control (Preview) Todays ODAT suggest that trying to control the alcoholic in our life is like trying to control the tides. It is also suggested that instead, we control our own thoughts, words and actions and therefore leaveroom for our improvement, because it truly is our obligation to have and find a satisfying li...	Debb	6	619	Apr 8, 2021 by Maresie888
	Came back to say hi. (Preview) Hello! I've been away from this board for awhile but I wanted to come back and say hi. The last year has been challenging. But I am headed in a new and good direction. 5 years ago I landed on this board in a state of desperation. Q had just gotten in trouble for the first time related to alcohol at our shared pl...	Fedora	6	1156	Apr 8, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	Tired..Tired..Tired of lies (Preview) I am new here. I have never posted before, but tonight I need support! I am 50 years old. I have been married for 27 years to my husband, whom I love very very much. We have 3 daughters that are all adults and 2 of them still live at home (we are a very close family). I take turns with my sister staying at my...	Shipshape	10	703	Apr 8, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	Courage to Change April 7 (Preview) In today's reading, the author reflects on the power of their imagination. Invited to speak at a different meeting, the author conjured up a large group of serious Al-Anon members meeting in a perfect location with a perfect meeting format. The author's role in this visualization was as the guest sp...	Skorpi	5	603	Apr 7, 2021 by DavidG
	4/6/21 Courage to Change (C2C) – Our Symptoms (Preview) Today's reading observes the similarities of the common cold, alcoholism, and us Alanoners: all have definite, observable symptoms (Alanoners: obsession, anxiety, anger, denial, guilt to name just a few) and none chose to have the illness.Unlike a cold, however, alcoholism doesn't go away on i...	Enigmatic	6	960	Apr 6, 2021 by Iamhere
	Not really Al-Anon but I feel like such an idiot (Preview) Oh do I feel like an idiotI have my clients stuff for a week and I felt kind of icky about one of his kids tax returns but I could not put my finger on it because the filing version looked OK and so he comes today and we are chatting about Social security and I said oh yeah you want to pay Social Security because t...	mamalioness	3	638	Apr 6, 2021 by mamalioness
	C2C, 4/5 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/5, talks about when the alcoholic finds sobriety. There are still challenges and we may be disappointed to not find the happily ever after ending we were looking for. Problems that were attributed to drinking may still persist. Even longtime alanon members may need ext...	Lyne	5	708	Apr 5, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today April 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the negative energy spent in resentment and the power of forgiveness. The writer describes feeling much resentment toward an alcoholic mother who was not capable of unconditional love. Before alanon, the writer felt consumed with the energy of res...	yanksfan51	5	1861	Apr 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	Making Amends (Preview) I live in a very strange Country, we have had really bad, long droughts, then destructive Bush Fires, and now there are Floods sweeping the Country, My heart goes out to all the people that are affected by all of it, when I see pictures of the destruction, and the extent, I feel very sad. The Courage it ta...	WendyP	6	1048	Apr 5, 2021 by mamalioness
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.