Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

JTS79 · JTS79

Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...

goddessofwriting · goddessofwriting

I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...

Ala2021 · Ala2021

My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...

MaggieT · MaggieT

Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...

MDA · MDA

Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...

DavidG · DavidG

Got inspired to do a little more. These days I have contact with sibs and cousins via facebook really. Facebook gets it's fait bit of flak- but it does keep people connected. So decided to reach out to a brother. He had a small business- in an industrial area of the city. Bu this landlord found out that h...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

AH apologized to me today for some things he said/did last night. He apologized through a text, which I did read but didn't respond to yet. He isn't home right now and won't be for awhile. I haven't responded yet because it has sent me into deep thought about the whole thing and I wanted to come here and hop...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer of today's page defines detachment as "emotionally separating myself from the disease of alcoholism." They thought it was easy to do if they attached with indifference, because they had years of practice at denying their feelings. Detaching with love, though -- that seemed out of the...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Posting quite a bit late today - thanks for your patience! In today's share, the author reflects on how, as many of us recover in Al-Anon, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts. In this way, we are able to notice when our thinking begins to be distorted. Some call this distorted...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading involves the powerful namesake of this daily reader. If we are feeling down, it's a good bet that we are ruminating over past, or forecasting a fearful future.This is a negative, debilitating thinking pattern that is challenging, but not impossible, to adjust. Alanon can help us us...

Ileana · Ileana

I feel sad tonight about the relationship I have with my sister. Today we only communicate at holydays and birthdays. I remember the times when we were young and we played together. I was the oldest and she even thought sometimes that I was cool. And at some point she preferred scapegoating me like my pa...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/12, talks about how we may wish for a quick fix or an immediate solution, even if the problem has existed for decades. Grant me patience, Lordand hurry! Some people will even launch into self-blame, as though there is something wrong with them because they cannot alleviat...

Ileana · Ileana

Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA member from the board 'next door'. I have been an Al-Anon member in the past, and gave up my online Al-Anon group for trigger issues. I had met people who were too much like my mother, and could not cope with it. I have been in other fellowships as well ... let's say 12 steps has been m...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Greetings, friends. Been a few minutes since I been here. Got a major change coming. I'm getting old. I'll be 65 next month, standard age of retirement round here. And, I'm going to retire. I actually had taken an early retirement at 63 and they asked me to come in and work a few shifts. That was 2 years ago...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about awareness of our feelings, and in a sense, honoring them- whether they are positive or not. The writer describes responding to his/her fathers alcoholism by behaving predictably and in a controlled way. The energy it took to deal with the alcoholi...

DavidG · DavidG

In our groups- I am aware that we are supposed to tell our full story to our sponsor. I was in Alanon before sponsorship was recommended, and so- at the time we told our story to our whole group. Sponsorship came later. But I am aware that i tailor my sharing to the meeting i am at. Sometimes I tell some a...

Rimjhim · Rimjhim

My ex and I have 2 kids together. He passed away when they were 14, few days before their bday. Since then both of the kids have been acting up, smoking, drinking. Yoo gets is close to 17 and ina mental hospital because she wanted to kill herself, infront of me/ so I can feel the pain I put her through. I admi...

DavidG · DavidG

Live and let live, I think is the official Alanon slogan. My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice." Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids. A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made go...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses anonymity and how important it truly is. The writer suggests that fear of others finding out about their problems had them resisting going to Al-Anon. They didn't want anyone to find out, including their A. The writer's first step confirmed the fear...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. The reading in Courage to Change today is about Step 8. Quote: "With this Step we sort out our part, taking responsibility for our actions but also releasing ourselves . . . from the burden of falsely-held responsibilities. . . . In All Our Affairs Reminder: Certainly I make ch...

WebHelper · WebHelper

The Sparklit Board Funding has been expended. We are asking in the spirit of Tradition 7 for funding to continue the forums. Sparklit ActiveBoard Donations GoDaddy will be ready for renewal in May as well. We are looking for a solution for accepting donations. Last year we used my business PayPal a...

DavidG · DavidG

I scorned the slogan for some years- because they were too folksy and simplistic. There seemed to be a stable of 16 of them- and woe betide anyone who uttered one that was not conference approved. However many of the things we remember and repeat do appear, also in our literature. In this g...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I just wanted to say "Thank you" to David for helping me to get in touch with Hidden. I was locked out for over a week!! I still came to read though, so I appreciate everyone's Experience Strength and Hope, and their dedication to Service. Thank you Hidden for looking into this, and helping me to get back o...

FluffyDogMom · FluffyDogMom

Hi everyone. I am new to these boards, although I have been to face to face meetings a few times before. I am currently struggling with how to handle a situation with my dad that has escalated over the past several days. A few months ago, he started giving me the silent treatment.... he did not stop talk...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT suggest that trying to control the alcoholic in our life is like trying to control the tides. It is also suggested that instead, we control our own thoughts, words and actions and therefore leaveroom for our improvement, because it truly is our obligation to have and find a satisfying li...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello! I've been away from this board for awhile but I wanted to come back and say hi. The last year has been challenging. But I am headed in a new and good direction. 5 years ago I landed on this board in a state of desperation. Q had just gotten in trouble for the first time related to alcohol at our shared pl...

Shipshape · Shipshape

I am new here. I have never posted before, but tonight I need support! I am 50 years old. I have been married for 27 years to my husband, whom I love very very much. We have 3 daughters that are all adults and 2 of them still live at home (we are a very close family). I take turns with my sister staying at my...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author reflects on the power of their imagination. Invited to speak at a different meeting, the author conjured up a large group of serious Al-Anon members meeting in a perfect location with a perfect meeting format. The author's role in this visualization was as the guest sp...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading observes the similarities of the common cold, alcoholism, and us Alanoners: all have definite, observable symptoms (Alanoners: obsession, anxiety, anger, denial, guilt to name just a few) and none chose to have the illness.Unlike a cold, however, alcoholism doesn't go away on i...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Oh do I feel like an idiotI have my clients stuff for a week and I felt kind of icky about one of his kids tax returns but I could not put my finger on it because the filing version looked OK and so he comes today and we are chatting about Social security and I said oh yeah you want to pay Social Security because t...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/5, talks about when the alcoholic finds sobriety. There are still challenges and we may be disappointed to not find the happily ever after ending we were looking for. Problems that were attributed to drinking may still persist. Even longtime alanon members may need ext...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the negative energy spent in resentment and the power of forgiveness. The writer describes feeling much resentment toward an alcoholic mother who was not capable of unconditional love. Before alanon, the writer felt consumed with the energy of res...

WendyP · WendyP

I live in a very strange Country, we have had really bad, long droughts, then destructive Bush Fires, and now there are Floods sweeping the Country, My heart goes out to all the people that are affected by all of it, when I see pictures of the destruction, and the extent, I feel very sad. The Courage it ta...

Lyne · Lyne

Well after four years, my son is ready to give my A a second chance. Now my A could have spent the last number of years working on recovery. She is involved with an OA sponsor, and making some progress. She is still an untreated alcoholic, and what drove my son and his wife away, was her passive aggressi...

Freetime · Freetime

The author of today's page had a belief that, even when facing difficult struggles in life, they had to push themselves to get things done, otherwise they would turn into a slug. Doing a Fourth Step revealed that by being so hard on themselves, they made their own life unmanageable -- and accomplishe...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Some good things to avoid drama While searching the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses... That's interesting.Let me think about that.Thank you for the information.Thank you for supporting me.I'll have to ponder that one.Wow.Hmmmmm.Golly-g...

Debb · Debb

Happy April 1st - MIP Family!Rhymes for April let me singThe pleasures of returning spring .Fools are made, by far the worst,On other days besides the First.~April Rhymes, The Comic Almanack for 1835by William Makepeace Thackeray, Albert Smith, Gilbert à Beckett and The Brothers MayhewTodays OD...

biosphere · biosphere

Hi All, Never thought I'd be here, but now that I am I'm very glad to see the community exists. I have a middle aged sibling who has significant multi organ damage from alcohol abuse. There's a reasonable chance of near term death due to the level of damage, but we're are as optimistic as we can be. Non...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 3/29, talks about being nicer to ourselves. The damaged self-esteem and the message that we are not good enough, comes from living with alcoholism. The writer recognized that these voices could be silenced! Alanon reminds us that we are lovable and can learn to love ourse...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author reflects on the role of Al-Anon in the lives of folks who have lived with alcoholism. Al-Anon is the place where many grow up, learn to face the world as it is, and to take responsibility for actions. Members deal with feelings, share about experiences, and learn about th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Hi all, Ive fallen off the wagon and have been white knuckling it for too long. Im merely surviving again, this last year has me in my knees and face. Life with covid as a nurse working full time hasnt been easy, life with two foster teens this last year hasnt been easy and everything else is falling away. I...

Debb · Debb

Silence, it is suggested, is a blessing when used in times of reflection and meditation, but if used as a way to punish the alcoholic,as to avoid confrontation, can be, "A grim and furious silence" that "can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words". Underthose circumstances, it is suggested...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading in C2C, the author shares about the moment they were able to accept that alcoholism is a disease, which allowed them to more easily separate the person from the disease. The author had been convinced that their loved one could stop drinking if they wanted to, after all, the author t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the feeling of safety that comes from alanon. The writer describes a childhood that featured all of the chaos of an alcoholic home, including a feeling that everyone (including the alcoholic parents) were children together. The writer describes be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Like many, when today's author first heard Alanon's suggestion that we keep the focus on ourselves, not the alcoholic, they thought that sounded like what they accused the alcoholic of being: inconsiderate, thoughtless, and uncaring. 'That's not who I am' they thought, they were generous and car...

WendyP · WendyP

I have started to, not only find Courage but also put into practice, as I have found sharing on MIP, putting my thoughts, feelings, and my Stories, and myself out there not easy, or comfortable. I have looked at why, and I am making, allowing myself to be very vunerable. But when I look at the other side o...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hey Everyone!!! Hope you all are OK...I am working through a lot of stuff, I had some really tough health issues with stored pain causing back spasms so I got into physical therapy with the help of a trainer and my own research and my back is responding Add to that reading some GREAT books sent to me by a rec...

DavidG · DavidG

...home after a 2 week furlough. We never had holidays- always harvesting fruit through the summer. And hay. I found it really hard to take leave and to relax. Watched our city of Awkvegas [Auckland] come out lock-down... ...with a big yacht race. We got backpackers rates at a high end apartment- bec...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon delves into powerlessness as expressed in Step One. Although we might quibble over whether it means we are powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic -- it is of course both. But we do have the power to change our own lives. We do not have to submit to degr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting tomorrow's daily tonight as I am volunteering in the morning followed by golf in the afternoon. The reading discusses how the traditions of Al-Anon Family Groups help us learn how a healthy family group functions. When problems involving others arise, we can turn to the Traditions for gu...

DavidG · DavidG

...should we wait until November to talk about Step 11? If we are learning the steps- yes- likely that is a good idea. But when we are "practising these principals in all our affairs" we can turn to the step we need- for the moment. In my view, anyway. This week I was reflecting on the "meet" in meeting....

john_jpd · john_jpd

I'm so glad there is place like this where there are people who understand this terrible disease. I had a brother who lived with me and was an alcoholic. He died recently this past August from end stage liver failure at the age of 57. I'm having tremendous problems dealing with it. He knew he had liver...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

A powerful spiritual concept in Alanon is that I am no better than the alcoholic and untreated, exhibit some of the same character defects I accused them of having. Today's reading specifically addresses manipulation and control.If I honestly assess my own behavior, I won't have to look far to see w...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Upon awakening, I think about the twenty-four hours ahead. I consider my plans for the day. Before I begin, I ask God to direct my thinking. I read from Courage to Change and from another book. Then, I reach into my god-box and pull out a word or sometimes it's a slogan. Today is was Easy Does It...But Do It...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, 3/22, the author discusses how worrying becomes the norm. Its a habit difficult to shake off even if we know it serves no purpose. We think about yesterday and tomorrow, and miss the day we have. In alanon we can learn to free ourselves from worry, if we concentrate on a mana...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about what we gravitate toward, what our attitudes do to perception, and the choices we can make. The writer begins by stating that we dont necessarily veer toward what is good for us, but rather what is familiar. In the writers case, negative thinking was p...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about self-worth, one of the topics in the Fourth Step guide in the Blueprint for Progress literature. Working though the step, the author found that they had always judged their value on the basis of accomplishments or what others said. Thus, the author work...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Clarification (Preview) Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...	JTS79	4	3353	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	I feel stuck (Preview) I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...	goddessofwriting	12	1936	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	A Saturday Share... (Preview) Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...	DavidG	4	802	Apr 18, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	1st time here (Preview) My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...	Ala2021	9	2967	Apr 17, 2021 by a4l
	miss you all! (Preview) Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...	Hoot Nanny	6	1522	Apr 17, 2021 by DavidG
	Advice needed - asap Alcohol advice alcoholic (Preview) Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...	MaggieT	13	5265	Apr 17, 2021 by Ileana
	Materials for family members to read to help understand alcoholism? (Preview) Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...	MDA	6	4391	Apr 16, 2021 by Breakingfree
	Blended family and staying in my hula hoop! (Preview) Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...	Breakingfree	5	874	Apr 16, 2021 by Iamhere
	A lurch forwards... (Preview) Got inspired to do a little more. These days I have contact with sibs and cousins via facebook really. Facebook gets it's fait bit of flak- but it does keep people connected. So decided to reach out to a brother. He had a small business- in an industrial area of the city. Bu this landlord found out that h...	DavidG	5	499	Apr 16, 2021 by Ileana
	Accepting An Apology (Preview) AH apologized to me today for some things he said/did last night. He apologized through a text, which I did read but didn't respond to yet. He isn't home right now and won't be for awhile. I haven't responded yet because it has sent me into deep thought about the whole thing and I wanted to come here and hop...	SunnyFrogs	15	1040	Apr 16, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change - April 9 - Detachment with Love (Preview) The writer of today's page defines detachment as "emotionally separating myself from the disease of alcoholism." They thought it was easy to do if they attached with indifference, because they had years of practice at denying their feelings. Detaching with love, though -- that seemed out of the...	Freetime	15	2286	Apr 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change April 14 (Preview) Hello MIP! Posting quite a bit late today - thanks for your patience! In today's share, the author reflects on how, as many of us recover in Al-Anon, we develop a heightened awareness of our thoughts. In this way, we are able to notice when our thinking begins to be distorted. Some call this distorted...	Skorpi	5	480	Apr 15, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	4/13/21 One Day at a Time …All of the time (Preview) Today's reading involves the powerful namesake of this daily reader. If we are feeling down, it's a good bet that we are ruminating over past, or forecasting a fearful future.This is a negative, debilitating thinking pattern that is challenging, but not impossible, to adjust. Alanon can help us us...	Enigmatic	10	1547	Apr 14, 2021 by Maresie888
	powerless ... (Preview) I feel sad tonight about the relationship I have with my sister. Today we only communicate at holydays and birthdays. I remember the times when we were young and we played together. I was the oldest and she even thought sometimes that I was cool. And at some point she preferred scapegoating me like my pa...	Ileana	9	2168	Apr 14, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 4/12 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/12, talks about how we may wish for a quick fix or an immediate solution, even if the problem has existed for decades. Grant me patience, Lordand hurry! Some people will even launch into self-blame, as though there is something wrong with them because they cannot alleviat...	Lyne	7	2606	Apr 14, 2021 by Maresie888
	hello (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm an ACOA member from the board 'next door'. I have been an Al-Anon member in the past, and gave up my online Al-Anon group for trigger issues. I had met people who were too much like my mother, and could not cope with it. I have been in other fellowships as well ... let's say 12 steps has been m...	Ileana	7	1425	Apr 14, 2021 by Ileana
	Change (Preview) Greetings, friends. Been a few minutes since I been here. Got a major change coming. I'm getting old. I'll be 65 next month, standard age of retirement round here. And, I'm going to retire. I actually had taken an early retirement at 63 and they asked me to come in and work a few shifts. That was 2 years ago...	Wolfie55	10	2581	Apr 13, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 11 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about awareness of our feelings, and in a sense, honoring them- whether they are positive or not. The writer describes responding to his/her fathers alcoholism by behaving predictably and in a controlled way. The energy it took to deal with the alcoholi...	yanksfan51	7	3104	Apr 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	My Story... (Preview) In our groups- I am aware that we are supposed to tell our full story to our sponsor. I was in Alanon before sponsorship was recommended, and so- at the time we told our story to our whole group. Sponsorship came later. But I am aware that i tailor my sharing to the meeting i am at. Sometimes I tell some a...	DavidG	9	2996	Apr 13, 2021 by DavidG
	Angry children (Preview) My ex and I have 2 kids together. He passed away when they were 14, few days before their bday. Since then both of the kids have been acting up, smoking, drinking. Yoo gets is close to 17 and ina mental hospital because she wanted to kill herself, infront of me/ so I can feel the pain I put her through. I admi...	Rimjhim	9	3214	Apr 13, 2021 by Ileana
	Minding my own business. (Preview) Live and let live, I think is the official Alanon slogan. My mum would say:- "Let them stew in their own juice." Anyway i have friend who is selling up and going to the city. Where he and his SO have a son and grandkids. A few years ago i gave him an old tractor. I was reluctant to part with it. And he made go...	DavidG	4	3442	Apr 11, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change 4/3 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses anonymity and how important it truly is. The writer suggests that fear of others finding out about their problems had them resisting going to Al-Anon. They didn't want anyone to find out, including their A. The writer's first step confirmed the fear...	Iamhere	13	2773	Apr 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/10 (Preview) Good morning MIP. The reading in Courage to Change today is about Step 8. Quote: "With this Step we sort out our part, taking responsibility for our actions but also releasing ourselves . . . from the burden of falsely-held responsibilities. . . . In All Our Affairs Reminder: Certainly I make ch...	Iamhere	5	3215	Apr 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Sparklit Board & GoDaddy Funding Request (Preview) The Sparklit Board Funding has been expended. We are asking in the spirit of Tradition 7 for funding to continue the forums. Sparklit ActiveBoard Donations GoDaddy will be ready for renewal in May as well. We are looking for a solution for accepting donations. Last year we used my business PayPal a...	WebHelper	0	4502	Apr 10, 2021 by WebHelper
	Our slogan- think... (Preview) I scorned the slogan for some years- because they were too folksy and simplistic. There seemed to be a stable of 16 of them- and woe betide anyone who uttered one that was not conference approved. However many of the things we remember and repeat do appear, also in our literature. In this g...	DavidG	5	948	Apr 10, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Thank you David (Preview) I just wanted to say "Thank you" to David for helping me to get in touch with Hidden. I was locked out for over a week!! I still came to read though, so I appreciate everyone's Experience Strength and Hope, and their dedication to Service. Thank you Hidden for looking into this, and helping me to get back o...	PosiesandPuppies	7	615	Apr 10, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Setting and Keeping Boundaries with Volatile Family Members (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to these boards, although I have been to face to face meetings a few times before. I am currently struggling with how to handle a situation with my dad that has escalated over the past several days. A few months ago, he started giving me the silent treatment.... he did not stop talk...	FluffyDogMom	7	1605	Apr 10, 2021 by mamalioness
	April 8, 2021 – ODAT – Control (Preview) Todays ODAT suggest that trying to control the alcoholic in our life is like trying to control the tides. It is also suggested that instead, we control our own thoughts, words and actions and therefore leaveroom for our improvement, because it truly is our obligation to have and find a satisfying li...	Debb	6	490	Apr 8, 2021 by Maresie888
	Came back to say hi. (Preview) Hello! I've been away from this board for awhile but I wanted to come back and say hi. The last year has been challenging. But I am headed in a new and good direction. 5 years ago I landed on this board in a state of desperation. Q had just gotten in trouble for the first time related to alcohol at our shared pl...	Fedora	6	1025	Apr 8, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	Tired..Tired..Tired of lies (Preview) I am new here. I have never posted before, but tonight I need support! I am 50 years old. I have been married for 27 years to my husband, whom I love very very much. We have 3 daughters that are all adults and 2 of them still live at home (we are a very close family). I take turns with my sister staying at my...	Shipshape	10	586	Apr 8, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	Courage to Change April 7 (Preview) In today's reading, the author reflects on the power of their imagination. Invited to speak at a different meeting, the author conjured up a large group of serious Al-Anon members meeting in a perfect location with a perfect meeting format. The author's role in this visualization was as the guest sp...	Skorpi	5	492	Apr 7, 2021 by DavidG
	4/6/21 Courage to Change (C2C) – Our Symptoms (Preview) Today's reading observes the similarities of the common cold, alcoholism, and us Alanoners: all have definite, observable symptoms (Alanoners: obsession, anxiety, anger, denial, guilt to name just a few) and none chose to have the illness.Unlike a cold, however, alcoholism doesn't go away on i...	Enigmatic	6	802	Apr 6, 2021 by Iamhere
	Not really Al-Anon but I feel like such an idiot (Preview) Oh do I feel like an idiotI have my clients stuff for a week and I felt kind of icky about one of his kids tax returns but I could not put my finger on it because the filing version looked OK and so he comes today and we are chatting about Social security and I said oh yeah you want to pay Social Security because t...	mamalioness	3	516	Apr 6, 2021 by mamalioness
	C2C, 4/5 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/5, talks about when the alcoholic finds sobriety. There are still challenges and we may be disappointed to not find the happily ever after ending we were looking for. Problems that were attributed to drinking may still persist. Even longtime alanon members may need ext...	Lyne	5	540	Apr 5, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today April 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the negative energy spent in resentment and the power of forgiveness. The writer describes feeling much resentment toward an alcoholic mother who was not capable of unconditional love. Before alanon, the writer felt consumed with the energy of res...	yanksfan51	5	1641	Apr 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	Making Amends (Preview) I live in a very strange Country, we have had really bad, long droughts, then destructive Bush Fires, and now there are Floods sweeping the Country, My heart goes out to all the people that are affected by all of it, when I see pictures of the destruction, and the extent, I feel very sad. The Courage it ta...	WendyP	6	896	Apr 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	Passive aggressiveness (Preview) Well after four years, my son is ready to give my A a second chance. Now my A could have spent the last number of years working on recovery. She is involved with an OA sponsor, and making some progress. She is still an untreated alcoholic, and what drove my son and his wife away, was her passive aggressi...	Lyne	4	558	Apr 5, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change, April 2 -- Easy Does It (Preview) The author of today's page had a belief that, even when facing difficult struggles in life, they had to push themselves to get things done, otherwise they would turn into a slug. Doing a Fourth Step revealed that by being so hard on themselves, they made their own life unmanageable -- and accomplishe...	Freetime	5	830	Apr 4, 2021 by mamalioness
	Some good things to say and actions to avoid drama (Preview) Some good things to avoid drama While searching the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses... That's interesting.Let me think about that.Thank you for the information.Thank you for supporting me.I'll have to ponder that one.Wow.Hmmmmm.Golly-g...	mamalioness	8	2280	Apr 4, 2021 by mamalioness
	April 1, 2021 – ODAT – Contentment (Preview) Happy April 1st - MIP Family!Rhymes for April let me singThe pleasures of returning spring .Fools are made, by far the worst,On other days besides the First.~April Rhymes, The Comic Almanack for 1835by William Makepeace Thackeray, Albert Smith, Gilbert à Beckett and The Brothers MayhewTodays OD...	Debb	8	1259	Apr 2, 2021 by DavidG
	Strategies for working with Enabling Partners who themselves are Alcoholics Enabler Strategy Communications Partner (Preview) Hi All, Never thought I'd be here, but now that I am I'm very glad to see the community exists. I have a middle aged sibling who has significant multi organ damage from alcohol abuse. There's a reasonable chance of near term death due to the level of damage, but we're are as optimistic as we can be. Non...	biosphere	7	4672	Apr 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 3/29 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 3/29, talks about being nicer to ourselves. The damaged self-esteem and the message that we are not good enough, comes from living with alcoholism. The writer recognized that these voices could be silenced! Alanon reminds us that we are lovable and can learn to love ourse...	Lyne	5	529	Apr 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change March 31 (Preview) In today's reading, the author reflects on the role of Al-Anon in the lives of folks who have lived with alcoholism. Al-Anon is the place where many grow up, learn to face the world as it is, and to take responsibility for actions. Members deal with feelings, share about experiences, and learn about th...	Skorpi	7	1405	Apr 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	It’s been a long time! (Preview) Hi all, Ive fallen off the wagon and have been white knuckling it for too long. Im merely surviving again, this last year has me in my knees and face. Life with covid as a nurse working full time hasnt been easy, life with two foster teens this last year hasnt been easy and everything else is falling away. I...	Breakingfree	16	3607	Mar 31, 2021 by mamalioness
	March 25, 2021 – ODAT – How to properly use Silence (Preview) Silence, it is suggested, is a blessing when used in times of reflection and meditation, but if used as a way to punish the alcoholic,as to avoid confrontation, can be, "A grim and furious silence" that "can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words". Underthose circumstances, it is suggested...	Debb	4	643	Mar 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change March 24 (Preview) In today's reading in C2C, the author shares about the moment they were able to accept that alcoholism is a disease, which allowed them to more easily separate the person from the disease. The author had been convinced that their loved one could stop drinking if they wanted to, after all, the author t...	Skorpi	8	1371	Mar 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today March 28 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the feeling of safety that comes from alanon. The writer describes a childhood that featured all of the chaos of an alcoholic home, including a feeling that everyone (including the alcoholic parents) were children together. The writer describes be...	yanksfan51	7	2788	Mar 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	3/30/21 Courage to Change - Focus on Ourselves, Unloving? (Preview) Like many, when today's author first heard Alanon's suggestion that we keep the focus on ourselves, not the alcoholic, they thought that sounded like what they accused the alcoholic of being: inconsiderate, thoughtless, and uncaring. 'That's not who I am' they thought, they were generous and car...	Enigmatic	6	1374	Mar 31, 2021 by mamalioness
	The Power of Recovery. (Preview) I have started to, not only find Courage but also put into practice, as I have found sharing on MIP, putting my thoughts, feelings, and my Stories, and myself out there not easy, or comfortable. I have looked at why, and I am making, allowing myself to be very vunerable. But when I look at the other side o...	WendyP	5	1134	Mar 29, 2021 by mamalioness
	No!! I did not die..Just LOADS on my plate and I missed you all (Preview) Hey Everyone!!! Hope you all are OK...I am working through a lot of stuff, I had some really tough health issues with stored pain causing back spasms so I got into physical therapy with the help of a trainer and my own research and my back is responding Add to that reading some GREAT books sent to me by a rec...	mamalioness	10	527	Mar 29, 2021 by mamalioness
	Step 12 ... (Preview) ...home after a 2 week furlough. We never had holidays- always harvesting fruit through the summer. And hay. I found it really hard to take leave and to relax. Watched our city of Awkvegas [Auckland] come out lock-down... ...with a big yacht race. We got backpackers rates at a high end apartment- bec...	DavidG	5	460	Mar 29, 2021 by DavidG
	ODAT - March 26 - Powerlessness and Acceptance (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon delves into powerlessness as expressed in Step One. Although we might quibble over whether it means we are powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic -- it is of course both. But we do have the power to change our own lives. We do not have to submit to degr...	Freetime	9	3179	Mar 28, 2021 by DavidG
	C2C 3/26 (Preview) Posting tomorrow's daily tonight as I am volunteering in the morning followed by golf in the afternoon. The reading discusses how the traditions of Al-Anon Family Groups help us learn how a healthy family group functions. When problems involving others arise, we can turn to the Traditions for gu...	Iamhere	6	765	Mar 28, 2021 by mamalioness
	Where is the "meet" in meeting. Step 11. (Preview) ...should we wait until November to talk about Step 11? If we are learning the steps- yes- likely that is a good idea. But when we are "practising these principals in all our affairs" we can turn to the step we need- for the moment. In my view, anyway. This week I was reflecting on the "meet" in meeting....	DavidG	5	629	Mar 28, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Brother's Death from Liver Failure-Guilt (Preview) I'm so glad there is place like this where there are people who understand this terrible disease. I had a brother who lived with me and was an alcoholic. He died recently this past August from end stage liver failure at the age of 57. I'm having tremendous problems dealing with it. He knew he had liver...	john_jpd	29	5082	Mar 27, 2021 by Debb
	3/23/21 ODAT in Alanon – Our Own Manipulation (Preview) A powerful spiritual concept in Alanon is that I am no better than the alcoholic and untreated, exhibit some of the same character defects I accused them of having. Today's reading specifically addresses manipulation and control.If I honestly assess my own behavior, I won't have to look far to see w...	Enigmatic	3	600	Mar 23, 2021 by Iamhere
	Easy Does It...But Do It (Preview) Upon awakening, I think about the twenty-four hours ahead. I consider my plans for the day. Before I begin, I ask God to direct my thinking. I read from Courage to Change and from another book. Then, I reach into my god-box and pull out a word or sometimes it's a slogan. Today is was Easy Does It...But Do It...	Wolfie55	4	3842	Mar 23, 2021 by a4l
	ODAT in alanon, 3/22 (Preview) In the reading for Monday, 3/22, the author discusses how worrying becomes the norm. Its a habit difficult to shake off even if we know it serves no purpose. We think about yesterday and tomorrow, and miss the day we have. In alanon we can learn to free ourselves from worry, if we concentrate on a mana...	Lyne	6	1188	Mar 22, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 21 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about what we gravitate toward, what our attitudes do to perception, and the choices we can make. The writer begins by stating that we dont necessarily veer toward what is good for us, but rather what is familiar. In the writers case, negative thinking was p...	yanksfan51	8	1274	Mar 22, 2021 by Debb
	C2C - 3/20 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about self-worth, one of the topics in the Fourth Step guide in the Blueprint for Progress literature. Working though the step, the author found that they had always judged their value on the basis of accomplishments or what others said. Thus, the author work...	Iamhere	5	566	Mar 21, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.