Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jellybeans · jellybeans

hi there, hoping someone can answer a question... i've heard that alcoholics are often narcissistic but i'm wondering if it's fair to say that the spouses of alcoholics are often narcissistic? if so, would appreciate any type of literature that points to this. thank you

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I spent my 1st mother's day w/o my mom. She died on September 30th of last year. I miss her terribly. I guess the day went well. I was able to do some things to make myself feel better. My husband & I bought balloons & red roses for her. We went to the grave site & took a lot of pictures fo...

DavidG · DavidG

This is "a letter home" sort of posting. When I was in America sought out people associated with these MIP groups and spent time with three. In Maori we say kanohi ki te kanohi, or face to face. There is no substitute for face to face contact. I have a meeting tonight, godwilling. Two members or maybe t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's C2C, an AL-Anon member who is agnostic shares about doubt and their struggles with belief. Sometimes, this member doubts the existence of anything that cares about what happens in the world, let alone the author's life. Then, the author remembers how they were guided to Al-A...

DavidG · DavidG

At the moment I am uploading my mum a fair bit. Getting memory recall, almost daily... ...I sometimes have mixed feelings about here, as I am sure well all do- with people we love. I followed her through family, an alcoholic marriage and into a different world- where she was settled and happy. I thi...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

While going through years of trauma therapy I had a new found strength in myself. I was determined to stop being a doormat,start standing up for myself and stop allowing others to walk all over me. I started telling off and getting rid of every person that even looked at me the wrong way. I became extrem...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, May 10th, asks the question, how can I detach from my own wife or husband when our lives are bound together? The author says there are kinds of involvement that make our difficulties worse: when we interfere with the alcoholics activities, finding out where they are, what th...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

When I came into.al.anon I was living with the chaos created by an active alcoholic addict. My own reaction to this state of the affairs made it harder Fast forward many years down the line The pandemic has been almost two years. Vaccination has not changed much really. Tremendous issues and limit...

Iamhere · Iamhere

First, for any who are mothers, Happy Mother's Day to one and all. I will readily admit that Mother's Day and many other 'formal Hallmark holidays' for me are overrated. I tend to have to work overtime to keep my anxiety at bay simply because what may appear to be normal for many other families and on th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the power of forgiveness and the consistent work we do in recovery to be aware of our attitudes. The writer describes the feeling when old wounds resurface- that this is the signal to do a self inventory and work the steps. Step 10 is awareness work and hel...

DavidG · DavidG

Changes are strong- that Yanksfan will present us with a reading from H4Today tomorrow on Sunday. But something in today's reading struck me- and i wanted to share. I I write/speak I am also strongly aware of the reading from Courage 2 change- about the yes-buts. The what-if's, the if-only's an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading/daily talks about how WE can get in our own way....in our recovery and our lives. Two words that signal a lack of acceptance are, "Yes, but . . . " Time takes time, yet when we can accept everything as it is, we can be reasonably serene. We do not hav...

Debb · Debb

I did not know that, in Al-Anon, you are not suppose to talk about your spouses actions and misbehaviors! I have been doing this all wrong? Have I broken the suggested guidance of Al-Anon all this time? If so, I am sorry to you all!!

Freetime · Freetime

Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who found it hard to accept that alcoholism is a disease. They realized that they would not claim that will power alone could defeat diabetes or cancer, and would not blame the patient for their symptoms. In the same way, it did no good to nag, scold, comp...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author suggests that we do not come to Al-Anon to learn how to control the alcoholic. The reading continues to say that we come to Al-Anon to improve ourselves and thereby it maybe a contributingfactor in getting the alcoholic into recovery.It is also suggested that we do not di...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading in C2C, the author reflects on humility. As a child, the author learned that humility meant putting the needs of others before their own. Humility was associated with degradation, and was not a positive feeling. Through work in the Al-Anon program, the author realize...

Christie08 · Christie08

Hello Everyone. This is my first time posting. I lost my mom to Cirrhosis almost 10 months ago. My children and I were her main care givers the last few months of her life. It was one of the most difficult things Ive ever had to do. It was my choice to bring her home from the hospital on hospice care when t...

Hello · Hello

So my so called sober husband went to a party the other night and stayed over sleeping in our car as he was having a few. For a number of years now he had been saying he wasnt drinking at all. I always had my suspicions which has been proven true now. Its like i dont know what to do with this. Ive been an alanon...

DavidG · DavidG

I used to have a terrible personality. I used to call it my "poisonality". I would sometimes say the most inappropriate things. Basically I had never learned to communicate well. Things have improved considerably in this department. I am it the city- getting our caravan customised. With solar p...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author contrasts two ways of seeing disappointment and misfortune:1) As we may be first tempted to, with resentment and a sense we are suffering or being unfairly punished, or2) with a spiritual view that, as all things are as they should be in the moment according to our higher power's will,...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

My daughter is set to be getting out of Rehab in about a week and a half. She is talking about a sober living home, but doesn't have a job so I would have to assist her. I cannot find any information about costs no matter who I contact. Does anybody have any experience with this? She is telling me it's lik...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Saturday MIP. Happy May too! Today's reading discusses how 'if only' thinking made our lives unmanageable, but a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us who arrive at Al-Anon have put our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. Our first step - admitti...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 5/3, talks about how at first detachment seemed cold and not loving at all. But the author now sees it as a wonderful gift. They are allowing their loved ones the privilege and opportunity of being themselves. They no longer want to interfere, intervene, protect, nor do the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a description of how living in an alcoholic environment can make it impossible for us us to view the world with clarity. The writer describes repeating the behaviors of his/her parents and grandparents in terms of looking at life, and didnt approach it any di...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who had a dripping faucet, and kept trying to fix it themselves, but it continued dripping until it did extensive damage, and they had to call for outside help. It was the same way with other problems, waiting until a situation would explode before addr...

DavidG · DavidG

These are vital writings. Today that would not be read at the average meeting. This is not CAL. Bu the AA BB can be found in a lot of our homes- and it is well worth reading at home. Chapters 8 and 9 in the AA Big Book showed the way- and showed the impact of addictive drinking on the family. "To Wi...

DavidG · DavidG

I missed my F2F meeting last night. Am in the big city for this week. and working north of the city on my BBQ Ranch. I couldn't bear to kill and eat our spare ewe so I am giving her away to a good home. Our local meeting is still an hour away for me. The number of regular members is gradually growing- f...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading talks to us about when we are asked to forgive someone who has hurt us. The author suggests that unless we have notalready condemned or judged the person asking for forgiveness, that there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Instead we wouldhave to forgive ourselves for judgin...

WendyP · WendyP

The reader was sharing about Step 8 and 9 about making amends,but still felt some anger and resentment towards the Alcoholic and the non Alcoholic Partner. They asked shouldn't they make amends to them. That was how I felt in early recovery, I knew that I had been badly treated as a child, my childhood h...

a4l · a4l

Hello family. Well the ink is not dry on my divorce. Actually I have to run into court and chase it up as we're not known for competence and the damn thing should have been called by now. As I'm back to work in another area of law from next week I will follow it up when I'm in for discovery duties . Perhaps being...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I think it is crucial to point out that for the past year we have been dealing with major traumatic stress . For over a year we have been dealing with an epidemic where we feel helpless and fearful. For over a year we have not known how things will go. Every day there is a new disaster. The disaster might n...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on strengths and weaknesses. The author has found that sometimes, what we think of as our greatest weakness actually turns out to be our biggest strength. The author spent years wishing that they could be courageous, but it...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes that some may expect problems to disappear if/when the drinking stops. There are more challenges ahead, however, as home responsibilities recalibrate, the newly sober individual pursue a new set of activities (AA meetings, etc), and we continue working on our own recovery...

Fedora · Fedora

My Q just wrote me a super long letter which he promises is the last one he'll ever write to me. He basically accused me of all the things wrong in the world and completely negated the effect of alcohol on anything. This started with an argument in the morning and ended with this. At first my blood was Boil...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 4/26, asks the question: Whats so wonderful about alanon? It helps us see ourselves as we really are. Are we brave enough to acknowledge our faults? Can we examine with courage and honesty, our good and bad qualities? Alanon helps those who want to break down our broken par...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the difference between introspection and meditation and the uses of both in recovery. The writer describes both as healing tools, but not in and of themselves, rather in conjunction with action. Introspection is described as turning spiritual ene...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who did not feel any feelings, or as they learned in Al-Anon, had lost touch with their feelings through years of living with alcoholism. Not having feelings was like "being dead," but as they began to recover and to experience their feelings. it was so u...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Saturday MIP. I've got about 15 guys on top of my roof pounding and working -- did not even realize it was Saturday. Perfect reading for how my day is unfolding - our slogan 'Easy Does It'. The quote from "Youth and the Alcoholic Parent": "Easy does it . . . Think about it when you're in a hurry to do...

DavidG · DavidG

Thanks for reading this. Last week I had a family issue- which was manageable. In my early 20's i was a deep deep trouble- so I took the route of doing voluntary work. I was between jobs more than onceso I used this time to try and do some good. My closest friends were junkies, really. I cam back home in 1...

JerryF · JerryF

Good morning family and I am happy to have the opportunity again to state my thankfulness and amazement on how and when HP does and will use program tools (CAL) to center and hold my attention as it reveals deep lessons I need to focus on. I am talking about the pages of the day from our literature which I w...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading is about tradition 4, and how each group is autonomous. This means that each group can conduct meetings in a way that works for the members of that group, as long as it abides by the traditions and doesn't harm the unity of Al-Anon. Some groups follow the suggested meeting fo...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading asks the question, "How can I both love and hate the alcoholic?It is suggested that we would not feel love and hate if we did not care about that person and that love is an emotion that is acharacteristic of a shared life but hate is love that has become distorted due to distrust and hopeles...

serenity47 · serenity47

When I look at my user name, it reminds me that I was 47 when i came to this forum. I am now 53. 6 years have flown by in the blink of an eye literally. Those years will pass one way or the other. I get to decide how I will spend that time. I wasted a few years of my life fighting against the disease. Time that I...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading acknowledges the challenge of consistently applying the guidance of the program in the midst of a crisis. Rather than beat ourselves up if we struggle, we can take comfort knowing recovery is a process, we are improving, and we will have another opportunity to apply our tools. Remin...

DavidG · DavidG

I had a tough week last week. Was totally zoned out at my F2F meeting. Just as well we are allowed to be ourselves inside the rooms. Over Covid I cut down on meetings. I do ACA and Alanon. I don't need meetings nearly so much. But I find I am still learning lots and lots of stuff... ... Found out last week t...

a4l · a4l

Hi mip family. I've been diagnosed with a case of dengue fever this week. A comparatively mild but nonetheless very unpleasant strain which is finally beginning to ease this afternoon. It's left me easily fatigued and generally weak and tired. The family have been living on takeout and canned beans...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading asks whether we are justified in getting angry with a person who is in an alcoholic fog. It is suggested that if we do get angry we are not accepting the "truth" that alcoholism is a disease. Outbursts and accusations do not improve the situation and in fact increase our frustration...

Ileana · Ileana

Hi everyone, I'm taking a big personal risk here, I desperately need to share my resentments from a Step 4 I'm doing, I'm not comfortable with having a sponsor, the past showed me I make bad choices, I am more comfortable with the idea of being read by a group of fellow travelers (in the hope that someone...

Lyne · Lyne

The first line of the reading for Monday, 4/19, is as follows: Learning about alcoholism has helped me to find serenity after years of struggling. It goes on to say that alcoholics have a diseasethey are ill, not bad. We can learn what is and is not reasonable to expect. We can adjust our expectatio...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer of today's page discovered having a choice about their own attitude, and how the way we interpret an event is the key to happiness. Instead of always waiting for others to show love and approval -- and being unhappy when it was never shown in the desired way -- the writer has learned in Al-An...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP & Happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is about the First Tradition of our program, "Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity." Many of us, prior to recovery, experienced anxious moments at work or in family settings when it was decision time. We would...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is summed up in the Thought for the Day: I cant turn something over until I truly own it. The writer describes having difficulty with the word sanity in step two. His/her sponsor suggested making a list of all the things that were done to try and control the alcohol...

JTS79 · JTS79

Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...

goddessofwriting · goddessofwriting

I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...

Ala2021 · Ala2021

My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...

MaggieT · MaggieT

Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...

MDA · MDA

Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	question on narcissism (Preview) hi there, hoping someone can answer a question... i've heard that alcoholics are often narcissistic but i'm wondering if it's fair to say that the spouses of alcoholics are often narcissistic? if so, would appreciate any type of literature that points to this. thank you	jellybeans	13	3097	May 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	1st Moher's day w/o mom (Preview) Yesterday I spent my 1st mother's day w/o my mom. She died on September 30th of last year. I miss her terribly. I guess the day went well. I was able to do some things to make myself feel better. My husband & I bought balloons & red roses for her. We went to the grave site & took a lot of pictures fo...	Hoot Nanny	10	2044	May 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	Dreams are free... :) (Preview) This is "a letter home" sort of posting. When I was in America sought out people associated with these MIP groups and spent time with three. In Maori we say kanohi ki te kanohi, or face to face. There is no substitute for face to face contact. I have a meeting tonight, godwilling. Two members or maybe t...	DavidG	2	389	May 13, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change May 12 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's C2C, an AL-Anon member who is agnostic shares about doubt and their struggles with belief. Sometimes, this member doubts the existence of anything that cares about what happens in the world, let alone the author's life. Then, the author remembers how they were guided to Al-A...	Skorpi	4	410	May 12, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Something on the tip of my tongue... (Preview) At the moment I am uploading my mum a fair bit. Getting memory recall, almost daily... ...I sometimes have mixed feelings about here, as I am sure well all do- with people we love. I followed her through family, an alcoholic marriage and into a different world- where she was settled and happy. I thi...	DavidG	6	569	May 11, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	A Gentle Program (Preview) While going through years of trauma therapy I had a new found strength in myself. I was determined to stop being a doormat,start standing up for myself and stop allowing others to walk all over me. I started telling off and getting rid of every person that even looked at me the wrong way. I became extrem...	SunnyFrogs	5	451	May 11, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	ODAT in alanon, 5/10, suspicion and prying (Preview) The reading for Monday, May 10th, asks the question, how can I detach from my own wife or husband when our lives are bound together? The author says there are kinds of involvement that make our difficulties worse: when we interfere with the alcoholics activities, finding out where they are, what th...	Lyne	6	2268	May 11, 2021 by Maresie888
	When the dial is hovering on red (Preview) When I came into.al.anon I was living with the chaos created by an active alcoholic addict. My own reaction to this state of the affairs made it harder Fast forward many years down the line The pandemic has been almost two years. Vaccination has not changed much really. Tremendous issues and limit...	Maresie888	4	1813	May 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Happy Mother's Day (Preview) First, for any who are mothers, Happy Mother's Day to one and all. I will readily admit that Mother's Day and many other 'formal Hallmark holidays' for me are overrated. I tend to have to work overtime to keep my anxiety at bay simply because what may appear to be normal for many other families and on th...	Iamhere	10	2882	May 10, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today May 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the power of forgiveness and the consistent work we do in recovery to be aware of our attitudes. The writer describes the feeling when old wounds resurface- that this is the signal to do a self inventory and work the steps. Step 10 is awareness work and hel...	yanksfan51	11	1582	May 9, 2021 by yanksfan51
	Reflections on May 8 reading from Hope For Today... (Preview) Changes are strong- that Yanksfan will present us with a reading from H4Today tomorrow on Sunday. But something in today's reading struck me- and i wanted to share. I I write/speak I am also strongly aware of the reading from Courage 2 change- about the yes-buts. The what-if's, the if-only's an...	DavidG	3	2024	May 9, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change 5/8 (Preview) Good morning and Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading/daily talks about how WE can get in our own way....in our recovery and our lives. Two words that signal a lack of acceptance are, "Yes, but . . . " Time takes time, yet when we can accept everything as it is, we can be reasonably serene. We do not hav...	Iamhere	6	577	May 9, 2021 by mamalioness
	Question For You! (Preview) I did not know that, in Al-Anon, you are not suppose to talk about your spouses actions and misbehaviors! I have been doing this all wrong? Have I broken the suggested guidance of Al-Anon all this time? If so, I am sorry to you all!!	Debb	32	2097	May 8, 2021 by Enigmatic
	May 7 - Courage to Change - The Disease Concept (Preview) Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who found it hard to accept that alcoholism is a disease. They realized that they would not claim that will power alone could defeat diabetes or cancer, and would not blame the patient for their symptoms. In the same way, it did no good to nag, scold, comp...	Freetime	7	1682	May 7, 2021 by a4l
	May 6, 2021 – ODAT – Realization of the Disease of Alcoholism (Preview) In todays reading the author suggests that we do not come to Al-Anon to learn how to control the alcoholic. The reading continues to say that we come to Al-Anon to improve ourselves and thereby it maybe a contributingfactor in getting the alcoholic into recovery.It is also suggested that we do not di...	Debb	9	2795	May 6, 2021 by WendyP
	Courage to Change May 5 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading in C2C, the author reflects on humility. As a child, the author learned that humility meant putting the needs of others before their own. Humility was associated with degradation, and was not a positive feeling. Through work in the Al-Anon program, the author realize...	Skorpi	6	450	May 6, 2021 by Iamhere
	How to move on after Losing a loved one to Alcoholic Cirrhosis (Preview) Hello Everyone. This is my first time posting. I lost my mom to Cirrhosis almost 10 months ago. My children and I were her main care givers the last few months of her life. It was one of the most difficult things Ive ever had to do. It was my choice to bring her home from the hospital on hospice care when t...	Christie08	9	3428	May 5, 2021 by DavidG
	Square 1 (Preview) So my so called sober husband went to a party the other night and stayed over sleeping in our car as he was having a few. For a number of years now he had been saying he wasnt drinking at all. I always had my suspicions which has been proven true now. Its like i dont know what to do with this. Ive been an alanon...	Hello	8	678	May 5, 2021 by Jen61
	Down the rocky road to self-sabotage... (Preview) I used to have a terrible personality. I used to call it my "poisonality". I would sometimes say the most inappropriate things. Basically I had never learned to communicate well. Things have improved considerably in this department. I am it the city- getting our caravan customised. With solar p...	DavidG	4	1529	May 4, 2021 by a4l
	5/4/21 ODAT – Disappointment, Misfortune…as Gifts of Enlightenment (Preview) Today's author contrasts two ways of seeing disappointment and misfortune:1) As we may be first tempted to, with resentment and a sense we are suffering or being unfairly punished, or2) with a spiritual view that, as all things are as they should be in the moment according to our higher power's will,...	Enigmatic	5	473	May 4, 2021 by a4l
	Question - Addict Returning from Rehab (Preview) My daughter is set to be getting out of Rehab in about a week and a half. She is talking about a sober living home, but doesn't have a job so I would have to assist her. I cannot find any information about costs no matter who I contact. Does anybody have any experience with this? She is telling me it's lik...	mamamary1964	38	928	May 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	C2C 5/1 (Preview) Happy Saturday MIP. Happy May too! Today's reading discusses how 'if only' thinking made our lives unmanageable, but a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us who arrive at Al-Anon have put our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. Our first step - admitti...	Iamhere	10	1654	May 4, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 5/3, detachment (Preview) The reading for Monday, 5/3, talks about how at first detachment seemed cold and not loving at all. But the author now sees it as a wonderful gift. They are allowing their loved ones the privilege and opportunity of being themselves. They no longer want to interfere, intervene, protect, nor do the...	Lyne	5	522	May 3, 2021 by Debb
	Hope for Today May 2 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a description of how living in an alcoholic environment can make it impossible for us us to view the world with clarity. The writer describes repeating the behaviors of his/her parents and grandparents in terms of looking at life, and didnt approach it any di...	yanksfan51	7	2363	May 3, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 30 - Courage to Change - Sharing our Dilemmas (Preview) Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who had a dripping faucet, and kept trying to fix it themselves, but it continued dripping until it did extensive damage, and they had to call for outside help. It was the same way with other problems, waiting until a situation would explode before addr...	Freetime	10	1892	May 1, 2021 by Freetime
	Our first literature... (Preview) These are vital writings. Today that would not be read at the average meeting. This is not CAL. Bu the AA BB can be found in a lot of our homes- and it is well worth reading at home. Chapters 8 and 9 in the AA Big Book showed the way- and showed the impact of addictive drinking on the family. "To Wi...	DavidG	7	888	Apr 30, 2021 by a4l
	A weekly share... (Preview) I missed my F2F meeting last night. Am in the big city for this week. and working north of the city on my BBQ Ranch. I couldn't bear to kill and eat our spare ewe so I am giving her away to a good home. Our local meeting is still an hour away for me. The number of regular members is gradually growing- f...	DavidG	2	1733	Apr 29, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 29, 2021 – ODAT – Forgive (Preview) Todays reading talks to us about when we are asked to forgive someone who has hurt us. The author suggests that unless we have notalready condemned or judged the person asking for forgiveness, that there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Instead we wouldhave to forgive ourselves for judgin...	Debb	10	2215	Apr 29, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope For Today's reading. April 29th. (Preview) The reader was sharing about Step 8 and 9 about making amends,but still felt some anger and resentment towards the Alcoholic and the non Alcoholic Partner. They asked shouldn't they make amends to them. That was how I felt in early recovery, I knew that I had been badly treated as a child, my childhood h...	WendyP	4	436	Apr 29, 2021 by Iamhere
	A silly share about love. (Preview) Hello family. Well the ink is not dry on my divorce. Actually I have to run into court and chase it up as we're not known for competence and the damn thing should have been called by now. As I'm back to work in another area of law from next week I will follow it up when I'm in for discovery duties . Perhaps being...	a4l	10	2420	Apr 29, 2021 by Maresie888
	Traumatic stress Al anon (Preview) I think it is crucial to point out that for the past year we have been dealing with major traumatic stress . For over a year we have been dealing with an epidemic where we feel helpless and fearful. For over a year we have not known how things will go. Every day there is a new disaster. The disaster might n...	Maresie888	20	1187	Apr 28, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change April 28 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on strengths and weaknesses. The author has found that sometimes, what we think of as our greatest weakness actually turns out to be our biggest strength. The author spent years wishing that they could be courageous, but it...	Skorpi	6	379	Apr 28, 2021 by Maresie888
	4/27/21 One Day at a Time in AlAnon – Drinking Stops = Problems End? (Preview) Today's reading notes that some may expect problems to disappear if/when the drinking stops. There are more challenges ahead, however, as home responsibilities recalibrate, the newly sober individual pursue a new set of activities (AA meetings, etc), and we continue working on our own recovery...	Enigmatic	4	551	Apr 27, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Gaslighting from Q (Preview) My Q just wrote me a super long letter which he promises is the last one he'll ever write to me. He basically accused me of all the things wrong in the world and completely negated the effect of alcohol on anything. This started with an argument in the morning and ended with this. At first my blood was Boil...	Fedora	13	1044	Apr 27, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	ODAT in alanon, 4/26 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 4/26, asks the question: Whats so wonderful about alanon? It helps us see ourselves as we really are. Are we brave enough to acknowledge our faults? Can we examine with courage and honesty, our good and bad qualities? Alanon helps those who want to break down our broken par...	Lyne	4	466	Apr 26, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Apr 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the difference between introspection and meditation and the uses of both in recovery. The writer describes both as healing tools, but not in and of themselves, rather in conjunction with action. Introspection is described as turning spiritual ene...	yanksfan51	4	482	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 23 - Courage to Change - Feelings! (Preview) Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who did not feel any feelings, or as they learned in Al-Anon, had lost touch with their feelings through years of living with alcoholism. Not having feelings was like "being dead," but as they began to recover and to experience their feelings. it was so u...	Freetime	11	1849	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/24 (Preview) Happy Saturday MIP. I've got about 15 guys on top of my roof pounding and working -- did not even realize it was Saturday. Perfect reading for how my day is unfolding - our slogan 'Easy Does It'. The quote from "Youth and the Alcoholic Parent": "Easy does it . . . Think about it when you're in a hurry to do...	Iamhere	6	478	Apr 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	...self sabotage, through ingrained shame... (Preview) Thanks for reading this. Last week I had a family issue- which was manageable. In my early 20's i was a deep deep trouble- so I took the route of doing voluntary work. I was between jobs more than onceso I used this time to try and do some good. My closest friends were junkies, really. I cam back home in 1...	DavidG	7	520	Apr 25, 2021 by DavidG
	HP demonstrating over again what it can and will do for my healing. (Preview) Good morning family and I am happy to have the opportunity again to state my thankfulness and amazement on how and when HP does and will use program tools (CAL) to center and hold my attention as it reveals deep lessons I need to focus on. I am talking about the pages of the day from our literature which I w...	JerryF	10	502	Apr 23, 2021 by JerryF
	Courage to Change April 21 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading is about tradition 4, and how each group is autonomous. This means that each group can conduct meetings in a way that works for the members of that group, as long as it abides by the traditions and doesn't harm the unity of Al-Anon. Some groups follow the suggested meeting fo...	Skorpi	8	687	Apr 23, 2021 by Maresie888
	April 22, 2021 – ODAT – The Emotions Love & Hate (Preview) Todays reading asks the question, "How can I both love and hate the alcoholic?It is suggested that we would not feel love and hate if we did not care about that person and that love is an emotion that is acharacteristic of a shared life but hate is love that has become distorted due to distrust and hopeles...	Debb	8	807	Apr 22, 2021 by a4l
	Time passes one way or the other (Preview) When I look at my user name, it reminds me that I was 47 when i came to this forum. I am now 53. 6 years have flown by in the blink of an eye literally. Those years will pass one way or the other. I get to decide how I will spend that time. I wasted a few years of my life fighting against the disease. Time that I...	serenity47	4	410	Apr 22, 2021 by Iamhere
	4/20/21 One Day at a Time - Easy Does It (Preview) Today's reading acknowledges the challenge of consistently applying the guidance of the program in the midst of a crisis. Rather than beat ourselves up if we struggle, we can take comfort knowing recovery is a process, we are improving, and we will have another opportunity to apply our tools. Remin...	Enigmatic	10	564	Apr 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	Letter home... (Preview) I had a tough week last week. Was totally zoned out at my F2F meeting. Just as well we are allowed to be ourselves inside the rooms. Over Covid I cut down on meetings. I do ACA and Alanon. I don't need meetings nearly so much. But I find I am still learning lots and lots of stuff... ... Found out last week t...	DavidG	5	461	Apr 21, 2021 by DavidG
	Weekend thoughts. (Preview) Hi mip family. I've been diagnosed with a case of dengue fever this week. A comparatively mild but nonetheless very unpleasant strain which is finally beginning to ease this afternoon. It's left me easily fatigued and generally weak and tired. The family have been living on takeout and canned beans...	a4l	7	858	Apr 21, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	April 15, 2021 – ODAT – Getting Angry (Preview) Todays reading asks whether we are justified in getting angry with a person who is in an alcoholic fog. It is suggested that if we do get angry we are not accepting the "truth" that alcoholism is a disease. Outbursts and accusations do not improve the situation and in fact increase our frustration...	Debb	9	483	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Step 4 resentments (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm taking a big personal risk here, I desperately need to share my resentments from a Step 4 I'm doing, I'm not comfortable with having a sponsor, the past showed me I make bad choices, I am more comfortable with the idea of being read by a group of fellow travelers (in the hope that someone...	Ileana	8	2317	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 4/19 (Preview) The first line of the reading for Monday, 4/19, is as follows: Learning about alcoholism has helped me to find serenity after years of struggling. It goes on to say that alcoholics have a diseasethey are ill, not bad. We can learn what is and is not reasonable to expect. We can adjust our expectatio...	Lyne	7	1512	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change, April 16 - Attitude (Preview) The writer of today's page discovered having a choice about their own attitude, and how the way we interpret an event is the key to happiness. Instead of always waiting for others to show love and approval -- and being unhappy when it was never shown in the desired way -- the writer has learned in Al-An...	Freetime	8	2145	Apr 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 4/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP & Happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is about the First Tradition of our program, "Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity." Many of us, prior to recovery, experienced anxious moments at work or in family settings when it was decision time. We would...	Iamhere	4	497	Apr 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today April 18 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is summed up in the Thought for the Day: I cant turn something over until I truly own it. The writer describes having difficulty with the word sanity in step two. His/her sponsor suggested making a list of all the things that were done to try and control the alcohol...	yanksfan51	7	3032	Apr 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Clarification (Preview) Hello Everyone! Im new to the group. Im looking for clarification. If someone that has been sober for say a year and has a drink they start back over from day one correct? My spouse has been sober for almost a year and recently had a set back. He is claiming and trying to convince me that because he didnt g...	JTS79	4	3181	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	I feel stuck (Preview) I feel the need for a little background to set the stage. My mom is and was an alcoholic my entire life. My father, though he was not in my life until the age of 27 and died in 2016, was also an alcoholic. My mother always felt the need to fill some hole in her life with men. All the men that she dated/married whi...	goddessofwriting	12	1850	Apr 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	A Saturday Share... (Preview) Hi y'all... I am allowed to dream... it is Saturday morning here. We are surrounded by mountains- and there is a light dusting of snow on the biggest one. I am thinking that there is an Alanon meeting, or similar, in every corner of the world. Something like Mend Inc. where people can go into a safe sp...	DavidG	4	766	Apr 18, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	1st time here (Preview) My spouse has progressed to an average of 3-4 drinks nightly (equivalent) to 6 to 8 drinks due to pour size or choice of beer with close to 8% BAC. This has been going on now for about 1.5 years. I am tired of interacting with someone who is chronically impaired every night after 6pm. My boundary is to not in...	Ala2021	9	2833	Apr 17, 2021 by a4l
	miss you all! (Preview) Today is a great day! I am living my best life! Of course it is not perfect but I am hanging in there for the better not the worst. God knows I am doing the best I can! How many times as someone said to me that they are doing the best they can? I agree but there is more to it than that. We are doing better sometimes t...	Hoot Nanny	6	1441	Apr 17, 2021 by DavidG
	Advice needed - asap Alcohol advice alcoholic (Preview) Hi All I have searched the internet and am at a loss as to what do next. My brother has been diagnosed with cirrhosis. He went into detox for 1 week and was booked I for rehab but after the detox he decided he wasn't going. So he is now at his house, drinking again. His wife has left and is staying with her adul...	MaggieT	13	4924	Apr 17, 2021 by Ileana
	Materials for family members to read to help understand alcoholism? (Preview) Greetings everyone. I have a situation on my hands that I need to be able to help our family understand alcoholism. We have a loved one in our family who has been a closet drinker for the last decade. Over the past three years it has spun out of control. Late last year it was no longer able to be kept under w...	MDA	6	4162	Apr 16, 2021 by Breakingfree
	Blended family and staying in my hula hoop! (Preview) Since meeting my husband 8 years ago, he and my youngest bio daughter haven't seen eye to eye at all. I have tried so hard to let them work it out. The other night she finally came to him and said that she was sorry for being such a pain towards him all these years. His response while still staring at the telev...	Breakingfree	5	835	Apr 16, 2021 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.