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Guilt Vs Shame
(Preview)
I'm still emotionally IQ challenged about the two. When my feelings came up it was always colored with Angry/Sad, Angry/Happy, Angry/Joy, Angry/Angry, obviously there is a common denominator going on .. lol .. yes Anger has been my first last and middle name. That duality was the only way I could f...
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SerenityRUS
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14
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2497
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ODAAT 4=18
(Preview)
Not trying to one up Hotrod...I've read the page of the day in the C2C this morning and it is how she says and how it teaches. It is meaning for me. I love the pages because my mind doesn't always hold the messages where and when I need them and so my wife passed me on her ODAAT also...same page and the mess...
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Jerry F
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2
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379
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Pit in my stomach
(Preview)
Hi MIP, I've had a pit in my stomach lately... a gnawing kind of realization that I'm trying to push down somehow - but it keeps bubbling up. Four years into my 2nd marriage... (first one was a decade with dry A, and now 4 years) with on and off again sober AH - who for the time being has 60 days, a sponsor a ther...
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LedfootJenny
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10
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639
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feeling more secure...
(Preview)
I have good news that I want to share. I am so grateful for my new NP. I went to see her because there hasn't been too many good doctors near where I live. I traveled 60 miles one way to get good treatment. My concerns are less pressing. I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay well. I have not been taking ver...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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373
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Can't Bring Myself to Go to F2F Meetings
(Preview)
Hey all. The boyfriend is out of jail and so far so good, he hasn't used. I guess that's good? He is going to a meeting today (he says). We will see. Everything he says is sounding great and I am being supportive and not further shaming him for "the incident". I work a LOT and I also have three litt...
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kspec85
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12
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688
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Hello I'm a new member
(Preview)
Hello, I am a new member to here and quite new to al anon. I have two adult sons one 18 and one is 24, living with me and I am affected by their drinking and behavior. I dont feel ready or willing to do drastic action such as ask them to leave, although from time to time I have wanted them to leave and wished they w...
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scoob09
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7
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591
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Service
(Preview)
My sponsor isn't let it go either ... LOL. I'm glad however I swear there are just not enough hours in the day. It does force the issue of me attending my one meeting a week .. it is way way way to easy to get out of the groove on that one. I can tell the difference when I go and when I go and when I don't .. it make...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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353
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The Great Distraction
(Preview)
I received a picture message before from Abf's brother. It is of a clean-shaven, short haired ABF. My immediate thought was "But where will all of the woodland creatures live now?" Next came a surprisingly long message from ABF himself (he's more or less illiterate and tends to write in mo...
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missmeliss
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14
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621
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Do I confront him on ths or will it do me no good?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
H hasn't been to work in 6 weeks. 2 weeks were in rehab and the other 4 were just not going in. You can thank the FMLA for keeping him employed under false pretenses of a hurting back. He wasn't home when I got home this afternoon but I didn't believe he was at work. So I start my detective work. First off I chec...
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Mapper
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69
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1346
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Blessed beyound words...
(Preview)
l Just love the miracles...specially the personal ones. Last Sunday my wife and I met with and spent time with a sponsee and his Alky mother. She doesn't win the staying alive award nor he the entrenched in sanity one...but as he kept hanging with his AA program and Al-Anon lessons he stayed alive an...
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Jerry F
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7
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528
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step 3 works
(Preview)
'Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him' im getting better at this step. I say it most mornings and try to think about the words. It tells me i can choose, its do-able, i can decide here and now, its a choice. For every part of my day i can think and make a choic...
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el-cee
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4
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564
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Hope For Today April 17
(Preview)
Today's reading was a good reminder for me, it speaks on my perspective and not having expectations. When I know I am going to be around people that trigger me, have the ism's or are A's in my life, am I able to accept them right where they are and enjoy them in the here and now as is. I know I can work on mysel...
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Breakingfree
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1
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444
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Win.
(Preview)
Took daughter for her assessment today (so she can see a counsellor). She has been talking to me in a really productive way and has been willing to discuss setting some better ground rules with me (sleeping more, eating breakfast, not isolating herself, less screen time, basic self-care stuff tha...
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missmeliss
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5
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474
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Reflections
(Preview)
Tonight, I have been thinking about myself and my current relationship. I have been thinking about my actions, and why I react the way I do. When I was in high school, I read A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen, and my class took a trip to the BIG theater in the metropolitan state capitol city to see a producti...
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Skorpi
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7
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628
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Not afraid of putting my feet down.
(Preview)
Daughter's birthday is this weekend (actually on Monday). I am celebrating with her on Sat and apparently exAH is celebrating with her on Monday. Today exIn-Laws txt me saying they are busy this weekend and asking if they can come over on the next weekend to see daughter and give her presents. I reply w...
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Luiza
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9
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513
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Met someone...she's a recovering alcoholic...I'm an ACA
(Preview)
Hello, all. I'm 57, was "diagnosed" as an ACA a few years ago. I'm divorced for the second time (my choice, no drama, still friends). I met someone through one of those dating websites. In our first (so far) date, she told me she was a recovering alcoholic, has been C&S for over 18 years. F...
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Old School
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4
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571
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protecting the source of information
(Preview)
Yesterday I was speaking to a dear friend who learned that her boyfriend has been drinking problematically lately and has been taking steps to cover it up. She is understandably disheartened, but concerned about how to confront the boyfriend as the source of the information was his 15 year old son,...
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drywit44
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2
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339
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AH 1 year sober
(Preview)
Hey everyone! My AH celebrated his 1 year sobriety on Friday. I attended his Friday meeting with him and watched him celebrate with several of his new friends, talk about his journey and get his chip. I know what hard work this is for him and I do feel proud he made it a year. I just wish it wasn't under force...
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Flower49
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10
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777
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advice needed
(Preview)
well,ah's cellphone keep buzzing and he left it home so when i got it to turn it off..it had a text between a friend of ah's discusing a deal of the pal's to leave vodka and grass under ah,s and mine garage door. i knew something was up anyway because ah was acting especially antsy and going into the garage...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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571
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Lots of Growth, Hardship and Blooming going on...
(Preview)
Sometimes I am just so happy even in the midst of my hardships and others to hear, see and experience the growth, to watch al-anoners support each other with love, watering each others roots until we are ready to bloom. Lately I have seen and felt so much love and growth here on MIP and in my weekly meet...
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Breakingfree
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4
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467
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Barretts Esophagus
(Preview)
My husband had his Upper Endoscopy yesterday. Along with A "Handfull of Ulcers" in his stomach, he has Barretts Esophagus. Something that COULD lead to cancer of the esophagus. They gave him Prilosec (sp) They want to do another endoscopy in 2 months to see if it is healing, but my husband s...
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Tired-of-it
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4
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410
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C2C 4-16
(Preview)
The Courage to Change for April 16 has a very important message. It points out that what we go through in life is not as important as how we interpret the experience, and respond to it. To sum it up, we have powerful choices about our attitude in life. Al-Anon opening tells us that changed attitudes can a...
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hotrod
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0
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412
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Stress. My head is going to pop.
(Preview)
In one week, more crap has gone wrong at work than I could ever imagine possible. I think I complained like a week ago...and it got worse. I know it is just work. I can compartmentalize it some. Most of my staff quit. I will be doing all their work in the meanwhile. PLUS about 3 other crazy incidents happen...
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pinkchip
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32
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1066
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ODAT 4-15
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for April 15 speaks about our old attitudes of believing I that we are justified in getting angry at anyone in an alcoholic fog. . It points out that if we accept the truth that alcohol is a disease, we will understand the accusations and outbursts of tempers cannot improve the situati...
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hotrod
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4
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398
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Husband gets out of inpatient treatment tomorrow.
(Preview)
I've been with my husband 10 years and married for almost 5. He has drank almost every single day since I've known him. Sometimes it's 1 or 2 beers and other days it's nonstop drinking from the time he gets home until he goes to bed. He's very high functioning and sometimes people can't even tell he's drun...
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Mapper
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22
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953
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Working on serenity
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, Well, this last week has certainly been ... interesting. I got myself into a few situations with active alcoholic friends of my wife that I knew I shouldn't be in, and I had to deal with an unexpected medical issue myself. I think that this last week has been proof to me that AlAnon works w...
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Skorpi
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13
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602
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seething
(Preview)
Oh wow, I am seething. I got a text this morning from daughter's step-mother telling me that she is concerned that my daughter is staying up too late as she saw her post something on facebook late at night. If it was an isolated incident it wouldn't matter but it has been 9 years of this....letters texts a...
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missmeliss
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27
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1051
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Feeling emotional(in a good way)
(Preview)
Tonight I was asked to share my story at a meeting. I had agreed to do this 2 months ago but didn't start preparing until today, LOL. I just prayed for God to guide my words, for him to help me put my thoughts together and for my words to reach those who needed to hear what I had to say. At one point I looked to t...
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andromeda
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6
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521
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Not sure what I am going through, but it's different by far
(Preview)
I am stressed to the hilt with two exams this week and more loss of a beautiful al-anon old timer. Also an RN friend of mine has had Crohn's for awhile and just had emergency surgery and lost some intestine and now has a colostomy, just makes me realize you just never know, so dig into this moment! I am hav...
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Breakingfree
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4
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665
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Why is spirituality so frustrating?
(Preview)
Just when I think i have got it all worked out. I realize Im at the beginning again. My ego sneaks into my progress and inflates while I am not looking and then I see it and I am like, I thought I dealt with you already!!!!!! I think im still fighting without even realising it. Im thinking I need to get down and...
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el-cee
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10
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601
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Need a sponsor
(Preview)
Hello, I have been to so many meetings and nobody sponsors. It's really hard. I have already worked the 12 steps the past year with a former Sponsor. I just need someone to email or talk to on phone for about 15 minutes a week to vent or get a perspective. My friends don't have experience in this field so th...
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angelainaz
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5
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711
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Alcoholic Phone Calls
(Preview)
I long ago gave up expecting every phone call to be perfect, but what sort of approaches do other people take if you receive a phone call from someone who has been drinking? It is something I still struggle with 7 years into the program. Had a call yesterday and all of the isms like insulting and forgettin...
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hopefortoday29
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12
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912
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I am getting scared of people.
(Preview)
Hi guys long time no speak. I am having some issues with people at the moment and I am a little bit lost to be honest. I have been on Easter holiday for nearly two weeks now, we are all back to work next Monday. On the last day of work I had an interview with one of the big bosses for my performance review and I got...
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Luiza
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8
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812
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Life just keeps coming full speed ahead
(Preview)
I have two exams this week and am feeling the stress this semester of college, but can and will get through it. A great al-anon lady I have known the last several years died last Friday after her liver transplant was rejected by her body. I had been praying for her and missing my sponsor too lately. These...
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Breakingfree
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5
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658
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fear and guilt
(Preview)
My adult son 23 years old recently married. His wife is from Russia. She - an orphan. My son is a student and does not have enough money to support his family. Before his marriage, I talked to him and his wife that the family is a serious matter. The fact that it means responsibility. I said that I can not gi...
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salvie
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3
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534
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A Hard Step Back in Time...
(Preview)
So Yesterday here in my Little Piece of the World when I Got Off Work it was 75 Degrees Out, I had a Clean Harley, and about 3 Hours of Day light Left so I Jumped on And thought I Would Continue on this Healing Week I have been Having... I Went to My Old Home Place... Which NOW is a Charred Structure that was a Cas...
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Jozie
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3
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506
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Hope For Today Apr 14
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading in HFT speaks to our Alanon FAMILY. The bond that we feel with one another, for me--in may ways has been even more profound on this website where I have met exactly none of you in person yet feel so very close and connected because of the program. Since coming to A...
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yanksfan51
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2
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617
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Verbal vs writing
(Preview)
Do you find it easier to write out your thoughts and feelings on here than at a ftf meeting. Sometimes i have a hard time verbalizing my feelings and emotions in a group. I do fine with friends where its back and forth to reason things out and think them thru. i am sure this too will pass as i get stronger an...
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Mirandac
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6
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629
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My own insanity today
(Preview)
Hello. I'm new in The Forum. I have been to several Al-Anon meetings. I have yet to get a sponsor. I have only spoken one time at a meeting. I'm having trouble participating and working the program. I want and need relief from so much and I can't seem to get myself to a starting point other than showing up ea...
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JulieT
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6
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728
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Resentments & Guilt?
(Preview)
Hello MIP Family.... its Prob been 6months since I last stopped by :/ Life in the world of this Disease still lives in my bones, but By the Grace of God there has indeed been alot of Healing, with alot More yet to Do... I Still make 1-2 meetings week, tho we only have 3... But i'm Grateful for those... My 90yr...
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Jozie
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6
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673
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WOW What a Ride…
(Preview)
Hello MIP Family :) How is it the Only time I Can Find my True Perspective is when I Get Lost in Nature? This weekend I Headed off to My Little Get away in the Woods Along side the River and For what Ever Reason, the Moment I Hit that Drive way, Everything, whether Heavy or Light, Just Slowly Starts to Melt awa...
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Jozie
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5
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531
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If the A moves on
(Preview)
I'm going to share something that I haven't told anyone yet. Especially the A. Being separated from him is hard. Trying to show tough love and taking care of myself is still new to me. I love my AH deeply. 18 years of being by someone's side and not being appreciated and given love that i deserve is heartbr...
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4myboys
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21
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1039
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C2C 4=12
(Preview)
C2C 4-`12 reading for today stresses the importance of patience as we work the Al-Anon program. It points out that without patience ,we resort to trying to fix ourselves in a hurry and when that doesn't work, we then begin the destructive self criticism and blame routine that we find in our tool bo...
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hotrod
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3
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421
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I need to vent terribly.
(Preview)
My boyfriend and I were invited to a wedding this weekend. He got trashed drunk and I politely started going to the car. He insisted on staying. I waited in the car for an hour and said screw it i'm leaving. As soon as I got home, I got a call from my friend. Apparently he "found" an entire bottle o...
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kspec85
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2
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532
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Type of Alanoner
(Preview)
Are there different types of us, here at Al-anon, in the way there are different types of alcoholics? The problem drinker has problems that stop when they stop drinking, the alcoholic stops drinking and the problem persists unless treated properly, usually through like minded people. Can it be th...
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el-cee
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6
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616
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Dammage from Throwing up
(Preview)
Hello! I was a mamber on here about 14 years ago. Obviously, he is still drinking!!! Anyway, he has an appointment for an endoscopy on Wednesday because of years of throwing up the morning after drinking. He would go outside and do this sometimes almost every morning. Of course he always blammed it on w...
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Tired-of-it
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3
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397
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C2C 4-13
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for April 13 speaks about the slogan One Day at a Time. It reinforces the idea that much of our precious time is wasted fretting over past mistakes, missed opportunities and what might happen in the future. The reading points out that yesterday has no value except as experiences, to be...
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hotrod
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3
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371
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Ultimatim
(Preview)
after his brother[boss also] yelled at him for his taking off work and drinking etc,AH came home with the same sorry apology and the ceremonial in front of me purging of the bottles lol I gave him an ultimatim which I INTEND to carry out! if he drinks again, he will have to sign off on my pension which is ess...
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YARNCRAZY
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7
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475
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i may be the sober one but im still addicted. . .
(Preview)
This post has the potential to be lengthy as i think.it may ve my confession, my admission if life gaving gotten unmanageable. Its no secret that i am married to an alcoholic. . If youve read my posts ever, you kniw my story well. Recently though ive cone to accept my own addiction . , to struggle and suffe...
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Theoceancalls
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7
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601
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This weekend!!
(Preview)
Oh I wish I could have taken you all with me this weekend!! We had our local Alanon Spring meeting and if any of you have been blessed to hear any of Father Tom W.'s stuff he's a Jesuit Priest or if you get the chance to hear him speak I highly DO recommend it! I will share more of the wisdom he gave .. what I love...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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1129
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Not sure where to start
(Preview)
My husband stopped drinking in 2008 when he was incarcerated. He has been out and done since 2011. He's exhibited signs of dry drunk since he was arrested and I'm sorry to say, still has the personality, just not the booze. He's been pretty stressed the last couple of months and started going to meeti...
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hulahoop24
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9
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620
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A Yay weekend.
(Preview)
This weekend started out pretty blah. I took daughter to her father's house Friday afternoon, arrived home 6.5 hours later (it used to be 9 or 10 hours so yay) and collapsed into bed at midnight with a book and fell asleep without even turning the page. A messaged me to ask if he could come over. Very predi...
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missmeliss
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2
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379
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Adult A daughter doesn't pay her bills, gives MY phone number and address to creditors
(Preview)
Does anyone else get their adult A child's messages from bill collectors left on their own home phone and letters from the A daughter's bill collectors sent to their home?
I have asked my daughter to contact her creditors and give them her OWN address and phone number (she never did). It is possible th...
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lgnutah
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7
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839
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What do you think ?
(Preview)
since the ultimatium, ah has been sober but is going through that pattern of his,where he tries to do all the things he has needed to do n the house in a frenzy of several days. he believes thats what will prove his attempt at sobriety but it has always backfires..and he starts drinking again. i wish i coul...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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582
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So have you hit rock bottom yet?
(Preview)
After coming home yesterday to my "recovering" alcoholic I found him curled up next to a bottle of vodka on the couch. I immediately remembered the happiness I felt during his sobriety and then fear hit me to my core and I grabbed the bottle, ran to the bathroom so he couldn't catch me and dum...
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Carrie B
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15
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3492
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self pity alert
(Preview)
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. My first thoughts were, so and so hurt my feelings because...... i dont like how that was done because.......im going to speak up and say...... you did this and you did that. Whahhhhhh. Do you know what im meaning? My spoilt brat inner child raised its...
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el-cee
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8
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1010
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C2C 4-9
(Preview)
I am back after having a beautiful, exhausting time The C2C reading for today is extremely powerful. It talks about:"Detachment with indifference". I could readily identify with that form of detachment because that's what I first was able to accomplish as I attempted to work this prog...
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hotrod
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8
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560
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C2C 4-10
(Preview)
The Courage to Change today is a powerful reading regarding working the steps and seeing and owning our part in the situations of our lives. The reading goes on to point out that many of us assumed responsibility for everything and thought it was all our fault and many of us place the blame of others and...
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hotrod
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2
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455
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Son released from prison this past Saturday.
(Preview)
I am amazed, some of you already know what I went through with my son just a few years ago, and if not, I won't go into it now, but I will say he got discharged from prison after 22 months, on Saturday. We worked together today on a paint job, spent time talking, mending our wounds and allowing healing to tak...
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John
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11
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895
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C2C 4-11
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today speaks about the power of the Al-Anon program. It points out that spirituality is an important part of our recovery, and without spiritual help .living with or having lived with the disease of alcoholism is too much for most of us. The page goes on to state that the Steps, Tra...
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hotrod
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2
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729
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