Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

A local shopping centre is running a Mothers Day competition where the grand prize is 2 tickets to Elton John. Oh yes please, my mum and I are both big fans. The competition asks that you write 25 words about why your mum is special. So I decided to tell my mother about the competition and asked her what she...

dee88 · dee88

After reading the "Hope for Today, May 5" I went to read the slogans and I realized I think the best slogan for this new path in my life will be Listen & Learn. I am new to Al-Anon and am very excited to be able to participate in the online forum, as it is what makes me feel most comfortable. I wa...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

So I really want to change my actions and my thinking when it comes to my AH and our family...I'm planning to go through all of the steps and to attend meetings (as soon as I find my nerve), but in the meantime, I need something to give me strength for where I am right now. So his family has known he's gone th...

Irish7 · Irish7

I am currently working step 3, for several weeks now. I pray every night for God's will and the power to carry that out. But I cannot seem to figure out what God's will for me is. I am so so caught up in the confusion and subterfuge of this disease (married to an A and his two 20 something kids who live with us ar...

bc5913 · bc5913

I really need advice. I am turning to al-anon because I find no one understands the situation I am in and it is so easy for them to say to cut my losses and leave. I am in love with a man who has an alcohol problem. When we first met we both used to drink together all the time and at first it was fun but then it turne...

Gah2010 · Gah2010

I am a new member. I am having a difficult time with balancing "being a goood daughter" and setting boundaries. I have been living with this issue my entire life, I guess I'm tired (46 yrs). I have always been the adult. I recently found out that my mom started drinking again. I really wa...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about the slogans--their simplicity, their helpfulness, the way they can help keep us going in our right direction. In the first paragraph the writer makes the point that initially he thought the slogans were trite, over simplified, and was skeptical a...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Anyone interested in this? I am a texter and the more support the better, right? PM me- especially if you are a night owl! I seem to do my worst/obsessive thinking at that time. (I do face to face meetings at well, so this isnt my only means of support :)

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone! My ah was able to make it 4 months without drinking and then he slipped. I told him it isn't the slip but how he acts that is what I have problems with. The dry drunk came back with a vengeance and the mood swings it was one day of slippage and his moods went south he mentioned that he might be bipol...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

-The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Alanon World Services Belongs to the Alanon Groups - Something that has helped me a great deal in my own recovery and given me a great perspective on how to look at my recovery differently are the Concepts. Which very honestly after Steps and Traditio...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been marvelling over the whole "you're only as sick as your secrets" thing today. I know that years ago, when my daughter was a toddler and her father had recently left, I was at the library one day for story hour and I left her on a bean-bag with a bunch of happy little kids and asked a mum if...

Hillyard · Hillyard

I'm having a conflict right now and I'm not sure what to do. I have a hobby that I really enjoy that I have been involved in for over 23 years and I am thinking of letting it go. Right now it is really the only form of socializing that I do as it involved three other guys, one of whom is a good friend. I keep prayin...

Irish7 · Irish7

At an open AA meeting tonight, the speaker mentioned an AA saying that I just loved:time stand for "things I must earn". Wow, that hits home. ive only been in al anon for 5 months, and I'm working hard on me. My attitude reflects the progress. this week I started to wonder why some relationshi...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...

el-cee · el-cee

Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...

Hillyard · Hillyard

My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...

serenity47 · serenity47

Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...

el-cee · el-cee

The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....

Constant inner battle · Constant inner battle

Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...

Lnicole · Lnicole

My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...

bbqbrisket · bbqbrisket

My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Sometimes I wonder if I am overreacting about all of this. My AWs disease has not progressed as far as some of the stories I've read on here. But now, since I've been on these boards, I have begun to notice just how often my AW drinks, how she acts when she drinks (slurring her speech, swearing, etc) and I fe...

AWSmith · AWSmith

Thanks for the help in the past. Could use it. But apparently I cuss too much and my anti-police stance have raised teh ire of some pro-cop / anti-cussing admins. Good luck ya'll, could have really used your help tonight, but oh well. Keep helping folks.

Complexnatural · Complexnatural

I left my xah 22 years ago when I realized that the insanity was making me and my young children crazy. I grew up in a home with an a father so I recognized the crazy making. I have raised 3 nice sons, university educated and they seem pretty well balanced given the father they have had - still a serious a. ...

Debb · Debb

Wanted to share with everyone something that happened a few evenings ago. I purchased a mattress 2 1/2 years ago, the mattress is not holding up at all and has a 5 year unconditional warrantee. I needed...

JennaClair · JennaClair

I am completely new to Al Anon. I just went to my first meeting Tuesday. I have been going crazy needing to share my story with someone - anyone - as I feel like I am about to hit bottom. My H is an alcoholic. We have been together 15 years, and he started drinking 7 years ago. Before that, he was emotional...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 2 speaks about the power and importance of prayer.. It points out that prayer is simply a reaching out to make contact with a power greater than ourselves. It acknowledges our personal helplessness which has been demonstrated in their efforts to find peace and security. The r...

Hillyard · Hillyard

My AW and I both feel that we want to start socializing with others more, have people over, etc. I am very afraid about this. I don't want the socializing to center around alcohol. We went out with a few couples from her work and she got drunk each time. We are attempting to get more involved with a church we...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My AD, who denies she is either an alcoholic or addict....called me yesterday. I couldn't understand very much of what she said as she was partly whispering, but she also said she hadn't slept all the night before. She said she was depressed (because I had to put my/her 15 yr old cat to sleep due to termin...

mobius · mobius

Confounds me how I "forget" my brother is an alcoholic. This dawned on me last week when he was in my face, pointing his finger at me, leaning in with that snarl on his face yelling at me. I was actually shocked when I realized I'm in a conversation with an alcoholic! Why is it that I forget thi...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 1 speaks about thinking that; "if only" certain things would happen we could be happy. It points out that by doing so, we are putting our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. It suggests that by applying the First Step and admitting that we are powerles...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So yesterday, the day after I confronted my AW about her drinking and that she needed to stop arguing with our 18 year-old daughter while she was intoxicated, things seemed back to normal in the morning. I could tell my AW felt guilty but there was never any apology. That evening after work we went out t...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I cut contact with my A biol father when my daughter was a baby, and with very good reasons. It was necessary to stay out of contact with all of that side of the family and that's mostly a good thing as they are unfortunately pretty messed up on the whole and crime, drugs and drama were just normal to all. So i...

salvie · salvie

My AH is trying all the time to blame me. He says I throw away his documents, clothes and valuables. Before Al-Anon I believed him, and tried to remember if I have not thrown in the trash his stuff.One day he told me that I threw in the trash his shirts, and I believed him. I bought him two new shirts. And the...

Katisfreetoday · Katisfreetoday

Hello, I often come to the boards and read as a guest, but after 4 years I thought why have I not joined..... Anyway glad to be here and apart of today! I was raised in an alcoholic home, married to an alcoholic who is now in recovery. I have dabbled in alanon for about 4 year, but started working a honest prog...

Cottonjeans · Cottonjeans

I had a very bad day, but I picked up the phone and called my beloved alnon friends, who helped me come back to reality to change my attitude. Here I have been hoping for my AA dh who stopped drinking since December but I found him today in the parking lot at lunchtime drinking. it was a God moment for me to pla...

kspec85 · kspec85

So ABF and I doing ok. He is working on him, I am working on me. Things have been going well. I'm at work right now. He typically texts me throughout the day. In the past, I have always known if he relapsed because all texts and communications stop. I have associated a lack of communication with him to be &qu...

Cottonjeans · Cottonjeans

i thought I would ask you all what helps you get through that bad moment or to change your attitude. I need an alnon meeting. My AA uprooted me to a new state with no friends and I feel so isolated which doesn't feel good. Especially when all I have is the AA for company. i am so angry because he is drinking aga...

cherrin872 · cherrin872

I recently was in a relationship with a man I love. We had one argument one evening, while both of us were intoxicated. I said some ugly things that were very hurtful, however, my intoxication level was a lot higher as opposed to his. He has been drinking for quite a while now, and so His consumption do...

rt · rt

Hey guys. I popped in a few weeks ago or more, and then have been kind of MIA -- still feel kind of weird about talking about this stuff. But, since then I have left to stay at my dad's. My husband has been "dry" and talking about how he may drink in the future -- of course, at this point, he's try...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Greetings beautiful people. I have been away for a while. Busy with life and happiness for a change. I am happy to say that I have filed for divorce (final in june). (nothing was changing and I was verbally abused.) I have taken back control of my life, and even moved. Following where I am being led. I re...

Jerry F · Jerry F

gave it to my Higher Power. Aloha Family just got back from the post op meeting at the Medical Center on Oahu and then stay several more days with a calabash sister (calabash means very close friend from the past) and we had a great time doing catch up with each other which included my present wife. M...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, for a start my grandmother isn't speaking to me.....last night she articulated one of her extremely forceful political opinions, and in my usual style I said "Fair enough, perhaps that's right" but on this occasion she wasn't content with that and she demanded to know "Why, w...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

My story is this: My alcoholic husband took his life 5 years ago. I went to Al Anon in the 2 years before his death and also afterward. I am now 6 months into a relationship with a man who is almost 9 years sober and works his AA program faithfully. I am discovering how much work I still need to do with my ow...

Erry · Erry

Hi all, very new to al-anon. Question to ask, does anyone carry around resentment and if so how do they deal with it? It consumes me sometimes and although after a couple of hours I'll start reading my literature and feel better it takes me the couple of hours to turn to my literature. Will I always feel li...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I sat and worked with my sponsor last night on Step 3. This one is hard for me. I get the whole frog on the lilly pad thing and that making the decision is only the first step that I have to JUMP too... (from Paths to recovery) I can't got that He can (got that) LET HIM this one is hard for me... ...

Irish7 · Irish7

Occasionally I see a post on the AA board to which I would like to offer e/s/h. Is that permitted? If so, am I able to use my al anon MIP screen name and password to log in over there? Thanks

Jen61 · Jen61

I think I probably have known this for a while but after giving it quite a bit thought I have come to the conclusion that I have lost respect for my husband. We have been together for 38 years with the drinking 10+ years. We have both changed dramatically over those 10 years and it has been hard. I find my...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for April 29 speaks about holding onto guilt and shame. It points out that many members have grown up in an alcoholic home, and because of this are very familiar with harsh criticism and constant fear. We tend to react with guilt and exaggerate the significance of any e...

Hillyard · Hillyard

As I dig deep into my emotions I notice a constant fear driving a lot of my actions. I feel like I'm not worthy. I feel that I can get involved with recovery for myself and my wife will end up finding someone else. It scares me. What I really want id a healthy partner to spend my life with. I want my wife to be tha...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Lots of anxiety over here. I feel like I'm constantly in fight or flight mode. Does anyone else deal with this? My wife f bombed me and I told her not to and that I don't like that language. Then she told me she didn't say it. What???? I'm in the twilight zone. Am I going crazy?

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 30 is a very powerful reflection on the word "selfishness". The reading points out that this word is often maligned and frowned upon and that we must look up at this in a different light. I know that I always thought that I was unselfish and giving until Al-Anon as...

Complexnatural · Complexnatural

I just have to share. I am not new to Alanon. I attended some meetings years ago but never have worked the steps. Now my life is unmanageable and I am ready to get to work on myself. Growing up in an alcoholic house, I became a perfectionist. This includes always working a full-time job and a part-ti...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

3 months ago my husband drove drunk and flipped the car (with me in it.) His court date is this week. His lawyer asked me to be present at the trial and vouch for his progress and sobriety. When we had that original conversation, I was okay with it. AH had been making progress- using his meetings, spon...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 27 speaks about self-esteem and how to attain it. It points out that self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am and that each time I base myr self-worth and what we do or what others think of us, our self-esteem is reduced. If we concentrate on making others happy,...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This past Monday was my AD and her twin sister's birthdays. My AD joined us at our family Easter Brunch at the beginning of April, and we spoke to each other, though not much. She has a boyfriend now, and he seems to be good for her. She looked good (I hadn't seen her for almost two months). I decided to send h...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics. They are both still active. I haven't spoken to them in a little over 2 years now. We were pretty close before so it has taken me this long to adjust to our estrangement. I came across some ACOA information through someone on facebook this week that has stirred some thin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	On a brighter note. (Preview) A local shopping centre is running a Mothers Day competition where the grand prize is 2 tickets to Elton John. Oh yes please, my mum and I are both big fans. The competition asks that you write 25 words about why your mum is special. So I decided to tell my mother about the competition and asked her what she...	missmeliss	4	608	May 6, 2015 by Hillyard
	Listen & Learn (Preview) After reading the "Hope for Today, May 5" I went to read the slogans and I realized I think the best slogan for this new path in my life will be Listen & Learn. I am new to Al-Anon and am very excited to be able to participate in the online forum, as it is what makes me feel most comfortable. I wa...	dee88	7	1012	May 6, 2015 by Skorpi
	Here and now (Preview) So I really want to change my actions and my thinking when it comes to my AH and our family...I'm planning to go through all of the steps and to attend meetings (as soon as I find my nerve), but in the meantime, I need something to give me strength for where I am right now. So his family has known he's gone th...	butterfly88	5	738	May 6, 2015 by Mike B
	How to know HP's will? (Preview) I am currently working step 3, for several weeks now. I pray every night for God's will and the power to carry that out. But I cannot seem to figure out what God's will for me is. I am so so caught up in the confusion and subterfuge of this disease (married to an A and his two 20 something kids who live with us ar...	Irish7	10	711	May 5, 2015 by Irish7
	Turning to al-anon because I no longer know what to do. Please help. (Preview) I really need advice. I am turning to al-anon because I find no one understands the situation I am in and it is so easy for them to say to cut my losses and leave. I am in love with a man who has an alcohol problem. When we first met we both used to drink together all the time and at first it was fun but then it turne...	bc5913	5	732	May 5, 2015 by pinkchip
	My mother's keeper (Preview) I am a new member. I am having a difficult time with balancing "being a goood daughter" and setting boundaries. I have been living with this issue my entire life, I guess I'm tired (46 yrs). I have always been the adult. I recently found out that my mom started drinking again. I really wa...	Gah2010	6	752	May 5, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Hope for Today May 5 (Preview) Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about the slogans--their simplicity, their helpfulness, the way they can help keep us going in our right direction. In the first paragraph the writer makes the point that initially he thought the slogans were trite, over simplified, and was skeptical a...	yanksfan51	5	623	May 5, 2015 by Mike B
	Long distance texting support (Preview) Anyone interested in this? I am a texter and the more support the better, right? PM me- especially if you are a night owl! I seem to do my worst/obsessive thinking at that time. (I do face to face meetings at well, so this isnt my only means of support :)	Bloodshotbetty	0	416	May 5, 2015 by Bloodshotbetty
	Not dry drunk but bipolar!! (Preview) Hi everyone! My ah was able to make it 4 months without drinking and then he slipped. I told him it isn't the slip but how he acts that is what I have problems with. The dry drunk came back with a vengeance and the mood swings it was one day of slippage and his moods went south he mentioned that he might be bipol...	Helpangel	11	2658	May 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	Concept 1 - (Preview) -The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Alanon World Services Belongs to the Alanon Groups - Something that has helped me a great deal in my own recovery and given me a great perspective on how to look at my recovery differently are the Concepts. Which very honestly after Steps and Traditio...	SerenityRUS	1	3706	May 4, 2015 by hotrod
	You're Only as Sick as Your Secrets. (Preview) I've been marvelling over the whole "you're only as sick as your secrets" thing today. I know that years ago, when my daughter was a toddler and her father had recently left, I was at the library one day for story hour and I left her on a bean-bag with a bunch of happy little kids and asked a mum if...	missmeliss	13	987	May 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Letting go... (Preview) I'm having a conflict right now and I'm not sure what to do. I have a hobby that I really enjoy that I have been involved in for over 23 years and I am thinking of letting it go. Right now it is really the only form of socializing that I do as it involved three other guys, one of whom is a good friend. I keep prayin...	Hillyard	12	697	May 4, 2015 by el-cee
	T.I.M.E. (Preview) At an open AA meeting tonight, the speaker mentioned an AA saying that I just loved:time stand for "things I must earn". Wow, that hits home. ive only been in al anon for 5 months, and I'm working hard on me. My attitude reflects the progress. this week I started to wonder why some relationshi...	Irish7	6	532	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	Hold my hand please... AH returns to work today (Preview) I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...	ladybugnessa	15	708	May 4, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	todays odat (Preview) Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...	el-cee	13	750	May 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	Last night... (Preview) My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...	Hillyard	14	778	May 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Boundary (Preview) Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...	serenity47	7	521	May 4, 2015 by serenity47
	we are enlightened!!!! (Preview) The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...	el-cee	3	456	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	BBQ yesterday evening (Preview) So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...	Hillyard	2	449	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	My cure for fear was an alcoholic (Preview) When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....	el-cee	8	737	May 4, 2015 by el-cee
	Completely Frustrated with Myself (Preview) Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...	Constant inner battle	5	667	May 3, 2015 by Mirandac
	My SO is a recovering alcoholic. I need advice. (Preview) My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...	Lnicole	5	594	May 3, 2015 by Constant inner battle
	Newbie here.....cool place....but have a question. (Preview) My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...	bbqbrisket	4	578	May 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Still trying to control (Preview) I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...	SerenityRUS	0	538	May 3, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Confusion (Preview) Sometimes I wonder if I am overreacting about all of this. My AWs disease has not progressed as far as some of the stories I've read on here. But now, since I've been on these boards, I have begun to notice just how often my AW drinks, how she acts when she drinks (slurring her speech, swearing, etc) and I fe...	Hillyard	4	651	May 3, 2015 by pinkchip
	Good night / good bye all (Preview) Thanks for the help in the past. Could use it. But apparently I cuss too much and my anti-police stance have raised teh ire of some pro-cop / anti-cussing admins. Good luck ya'll, could have really used your help tonight, but oh well. Keep helping folks.	AWSmith	15	937	May 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Feeling lost with adult children (Preview) I left my xah 22 years ago when I realized that the insanity was making me and my young children crazy. I grew up in a home with an a father so I recognized the crazy making. I have raised 3 nice sons, university educated and they seem pretty well balanced given the father they have had - still a serious a. ...	Complexnatural	6	682	May 3, 2015 by Complexnatural
	Come a long way baby!! :) (Preview) Wanted to share with everyone something that happened a few evenings ago. I purchased a mattress 2 1/2 years ago, the mattress is not holding up at all and has a 5 year unconditional warrantee. I needed...	Debb	11	678	May 3, 2015 by Debb
	New to Al Anon worried it might be too late. (Preview) I am completely new to Al Anon. I just went to my first meeting Tuesday. I have been going crazy needing to share my story with someone - anyone - as I feel like I am about to hit bottom. My H is an alcoholic. We have been together 15 years, and he started drinking 7 years ago. Before that, he was emotional...	JennaClair	9	720	May 3, 2015 by JennaClair
	ODAT 5-2 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 2 speaks about the power and importance of prayer.. It points out that prayer is simply a reaching out to make contact with a power greater than ourselves. It acknowledges our personal helplessness which has been demonstrated in their efforts to find peace and security. The r...	hotrod	1	480	May 2, 2015 by serenity47
	Socializing... (Preview) My AW and I both feel that we want to start socializing with others more, have people over, etc. I am very afraid about this. I don't want the socializing to center around alcohol. We went out with a few couples from her work and she got drunk each time. We are attempting to get more involved with a church we...	Hillyard	4	528	May 2, 2015 by Irish7
	I know hanging up on people is rude... (Preview) My AD, who denies she is either an alcoholic or addict....called me yesterday. I couldn't understand very much of what she said as she was partly whispering, but she also said she hadn't slept all the night before. She said she was depressed (because I had to put my/her 15 yr old cat to sleep due to termin...	lgnutah	7	696	May 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Why don't I remember that I'm talking with an alcoholic? (Preview) Confounds me how I "forget" my brother is an alcoholic. This dawned on me last week when he was in my face, pointing his finger at me, leaning in with that snarl on his face yelling at me. I was actually shocked when I realized I'm in a conversation with an alcoholic! Why is it that I forget thi...	mobius	2	532	May 2, 2015 by purav
	C2C and ODAT 5-1 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 1 speaks about thinking that; "if only" certain things would happen we could be happy. It points out that by doing so, we are putting our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. It suggests that by applying the First Step and admitting that we are powerles...	hotrod	1	535	May 2, 2015 by Debb
	Another night of confusion... (Preview) So yesterday, the day after I confronted my AW about her drinking and that she needed to stop arguing with our 18 year-old daughter while she was intoxicated, things seemed back to normal in the morning. I could tell my AW felt guilty but there was never any apology. That evening after work we went out t...	Hillyard	8	674	May 2, 2015 by el-cee
	Ugh. (Preview) I cut contact with my A biol father when my daughter was a baby, and with very good reasons. It was necessary to stay out of contact with all of that side of the family and that's mostly a good thing as they are unfortunately pretty messed up on the whole and crime, drugs and drama were just normal to all. So i...	missmeliss	2	646	May 2, 2015 by Mirandac
	My life had become unmanageable (Preview) My AH is trying all the time to blame me. He says I throw away his documents, clothes and valuables. Before Al-Anon I believed him, and tried to remember if I have not thrown in the trash his stuff.One day he told me that I threw in the trash his shirts, and I believed him. I bought him two new shirts. And the...	salvie	8	826	May 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hello, I often come to the boards and read as a guest, but after 4 years I thought why have I not joined..... Anyway glad to be here and apart of today! I was raised in an alcoholic home, married to an alcoholic who is now in recovery. I have dabbled in alanon for about 4 year, but started working a honest prog...	Katisfreetoday	7	555	May 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Hope in Myself (Preview) I had a very bad day, but I picked up the phone and called my beloved alnon friends, who helped me come back to reality to change my attitude. Here I have been hoping for my AA dh who stopped drinking since December but I found him today in the parking lot at lunchtime drinking. it was a God moment for me to pla...	Cottonjeans	4	720	May 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Need ESH, How to Cope (Preview) So ABF and I doing ok. He is working on him, I am working on me. Things have been going well. I'm at work right now. He typically texts me throughout the day. In the past, I have always known if he relapsed because all texts and communications stop. I have associated a lack of communication with him to be &qu...	kspec85	4	654	May 1, 2015 by Katisfreetoday
	What works for you (Preview) i thought I would ask you all what helps you get through that bad moment or to change your attitude. I need an alnon meeting. My AA uprooted me to a new state with no friends and I feel so isolated which doesn't feel good. Especially when all I have is the AA for company. i am so angry because he is drinking aga...	Cottonjeans	3	526	May 1, 2015 by Katisfreetoday
	I feel LOST! (Preview) I recently was in a relationship with a man I love. We had one argument one evening, while both of us were intoxicated. I said some ugly things that were very hurtful, however, my intoxication level was a lot higher as opposed to his. He has been drinking for quite a while now, and so His consumption do...	cherrin872	11	630	May 1, 2015 by Hillyard
	the difference between knowing and accepting (Preview) Hey guys. I popped in a few weeks ago or more, and then have been kind of MIA -- still feel kind of weird about talking about this stuff. But, since then I have left to stay at my dad's. My husband has been "dry" and talking about how he may drink in the future -- of course, at this point, he's try...	rt	10	901	May 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Met someone...no red flags...but he is an alcoholic (Preview) Greetings beautiful people. I have been away for a while. Busy with life and happiness for a change. I am happy to say that I have filed for divorce (final in june). (nothing was changing and I was verbally abused.) I have taken back control of my life, and even moved. Following where I am being led. I re...	sadsusie	9	1222	May 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Got my inventory taken.... (Preview) gave it to my Higher Power. Aloha Family just got back from the post op meeting at the Medical Center on Oahu and then stay several more days with a calabash sister (calabash means very close friend from the past) and we had a great time doing catch up with each other which included my present wife. M...	Jerry F	4	618	May 1, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Thanks for nothing, Wednesday. (Preview) Well, for a start my grandmother isn't speaking to me.....last night she articulated one of her extremely forceful political opinions, and in my usual style I said "Fair enough, perhaps that's right" but on this occasion she wasn't content with that and she demanded to know "Why, w...	missmeliss	5	747	May 1, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Being in relationship with a man who works his AA program showing me I have work to do..... (Preview) My story is this: My alcoholic husband took his life 5 years ago. I went to Al Anon in the 2 years before his death and also afterward. I am now 6 months into a relationship with a man who is almost 9 years sober and works his AA program faithfully. I am discovering how much work I still need to do with my ow...	Maine Girl	3	410	May 1, 2015 by hotrod
	resentment (Preview) Hi all, very new to al-anon. Question to ask, does anyone carry around resentment and if so how do they deal with it? It consumes me sometimes and although after a couple of hours I'll start reading my literature and feel better it takes me the couple of hours to turn to my literature. Will I always feel li...	Erry	7	1109	May 1, 2015 by Complexnatural
	Struggling with Step3 STEP 3 (Preview) I sat and worked with my sponsor last night on Step 3. This one is hard for me. I get the whole frog on the lilly pad thing and that making the decision is only the first step that I have to JUMP too... (from Paths to recovery) I can't got that He can (got that) LET HIM this one is hard for me... ...	ladybugnessa	9	587	May 1, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Posting on AA board? (Preview) Occasionally I see a post on the AA board to which I would like to offer e/s/h. Is that permitted? If so, am I able to use my al anon MIP screen name and password to log in over there? Thanks	Irish7	2	555	Apr 30, 2015 by Irish7
	I have come to the conclusion (Preview) I think I probably have known this for a while but after giving it quite a bit thought I have come to the conclusion that I have lost respect for my husband. We have been together for 38 years with the drinking 10+ years. We have both changed dramatically over those 10 years and it has been hard. I find my...	Jen61	9	740	Apr 30, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	C2C 4-29 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for April 29 speaks about holding onto guilt and shame. It points out that many members have grown up in an alcoholic home, and because of this are very familiar with harsh criticism and constant fear. We tend to react with guilt and exaggerate the significance of any e...	hotrod	5	468	Apr 30, 2015 by ntd2001
	Lack of self esteem (Preview) As I dig deep into my emotions I notice a constant fear driving a lot of my actions. I feel like I'm not worthy. I feel that I can get involved with recovery for myself and my wife will end up finding someone else. It scares me. What I really want id a healthy partner to spend my life with. I want my wife to be tha...	Hillyard	10	1139	Apr 30, 2015 by Jerry F
	My stomach is in knots (Preview) Lots of anxiety over here. I feel like I'm constantly in fight or flight mode. Does anyone else deal with this? My wife f bombed me and I told her not to and that I don't like that language. Then she told me she didn't say it. What???? I'm in the twilight zone. Am I going crazy?	Hillyard	12	1080	Apr 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	ODAT 4-30 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 30 is a very powerful reflection on the word "selfishness". The reading points out that this word is often maligned and frowned upon and that we must look up at this in a different light. I know that I always thought that I was unselfish and giving until Al-Anon as...	hotrod	0	391	Apr 30, 2015 by hotrod
	Turned it over to my hp (Preview) I just have to share. I am not new to Alanon. I attended some meetings years ago but never have worked the steps. Now my life is unmanageable and I am ready to get to work on myself. Growing up in an alcoholic house, I became a perfectionist. This includes always working a full-time job and a part-ti...	Complexnatural	1	446	Apr 30, 2015 by hotrod
	Conflicted about court appearance. (Preview) 3 months ago my husband drove drunk and flipped the car (with me in it.) His court date is this week. His lawyer asked me to be present at the trial and vouch for his progress and sobriety. When we had that original conversation, I was okay with it. AH had been making progress- using his meetings, spon...	Bloodshotbetty	18	771	Apr 30, 2015 by Mike B
	C2C and ODAT thoughts for 4-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 27 speaks about self-esteem and how to attain it. It points out that self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am and that each time I base myr self-worth and what we do or what others think of us, our self-esteem is reduced. If we concentrate on making others happy,...	hotrod	4	546	Apr 30, 2015 by Debb
	AD Continues to Pull at My Heartstrings (Preview) This past Monday was my AD and her twin sister's birthdays. My AD joined us at our family Easter Brunch at the beginning of April, and we spoke to each other, though not much. She has a boyfriend now, and he seems to be good for her. She looked good (I hadn't seen her for almost two months). I decided to send h...	Green Eyes	10	762	Apr 29, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	ACOA (Preview) I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics. They are both still active. I haven't spoken to them in a little over 2 years now. We were pretty close before so it has taken me this long to adjust to our estrangement. I came across some ACOA information through someone on facebook this week that has stirred some thin...	StargazerLily	3	393	Apr 29, 2015 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.