Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60167332/alanon-tradition-8/

a4l · a4l

Well the fan is hit. I decided to finalise the seperation by moving things to a more formal process. We had been doing an arrangement where the ah would come for weekends or when he was feeling down. For my part, I was hoping we could move into a friend ship type role, but I must have been having some kind of f...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My daughter started screaming in pain at the loss of her step daddy. This disease is beyond not fair. I dragged my daughter into loving a bipolar alcoholic and all I have is tears for the life we should have had- compared to what we ended up with. I can pretend that this is not a reality and I can pretend that...

PhilB · PhilB

There is a reading in one of the daily readers that includes this concept; It isn't my powerlessness that is the problem. It's the idea that i should have power that's the problem. I cannot find this reading. Can someone help? I have learned in 4th and 5th step work that it is my job to focus on what is, not w...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

I hate the weekend. I love to not have to work...but the weekends are when either 1)my weekend is absorbed with AH getting wasted and doing whatever he wants until Sunday when he apologizes or 2)he isn't drinking, like now, but he is so irritable and annoyed that he can't drink that everything is an issu...

worried Mom · worried Mom

I've seen the stickies but I guess I'm thick headed.

worried Mom · worried Mom

Just found y'all yesterday... went to last nights 9:00 meeting, been reading these posts.....I have an A daughter who admits she's an A, she's married to an A who doesn't admit it. I let her call me all hours of the night and listen to her drunk ramblings. Nothing makes sense. I get the feeling from posts...

glad · glad

I've been thinking about the correlation between God's grace and mercy and a sense of entitlement. Since God's Grace is him giving us things we don't deserve and his Mercy is him not giving us what we do deserve. In social service work I see clients who determine in their own mind (and are taught by the s...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the gifts that are offered to us by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that "freedom "is one of the gifts that we receive. When we come to Al-Anon we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair and by working the program we are be able to re...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning all Today is the 8th anniversary of my son's passing from this disease I miss him every moment of every day.

Hillyard · Hillyard

Since I came on these I'm beginning to notice some improvement, mainly in my thinking. I'm so tightly wound with anxiety but I feel the rope loosening around me. I'm putting a lot of emphasis on letting my HP's will be done and not mine. I am allowing myself to do more things that I'd usually refrain from i...

bells28 · bells28

Hi everyone.. I'm new to the forum but I have been popping in and out for around 5 years now. Just to fill you in abit... I met my husband in 2008 married in 2011 he is 47 and I am 28.. we have 2 young children who are 8 (his step daughter) and our boy is 2. He moved in with me in 2010, I knew he had a drinking problem...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

I just need to get this out there. It's been so long of up and down. I know my story is probably not as severe as others, but to me...it is an endless cycle that seems to be stealing everything I am away from me. I have been married to my husband for 14 years. When he isn't drinking and when he isn't depresse...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It is with a lot of guilt that I come back to the Al-Anon board. Guilt that I have been gone for so long and guilt because I was so cocky that I felt as though I no longer needed to come here and my f2f meetings. I am back to both and just as crazy as I was when I first showed up here to the board. I am aware enough to kn...

irishwife · irishwife

I am new to this. I am getting ready to marry the man i love. He is an alcoholic. I knew this from the start and about his past. I know he has gotten help before and then started drinking again. He has never hit me or been verbaly abusive. I came home one day and he had been drinking after getting some bad news no...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So, here we go again. My AW is mad because I'm not responding the way she wants me to regarding a situation. She wants me to feel passionate about something and I do but not the way she would like. I tried to listen an be supportive but it wasn't good enough. I tried to reiterate that I do care I just don't resp...

JAH91 · JAH91

Good evening everyone, I am writing here because I am not sure how to deal with my mothers alcoholism anymore and I am wanting to find some advice from people that have been in a similar situation. From a little girl, around the age of six, I have grown up with this crazy and emotionally tolling world that...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

It has been such an awful couple of weeks. Two of my dear friends have passed away, financial stress and taxes and now last night after my friend's service my AB and I stopped by his office to drop off the bike and there on his desk was a razor blade. I stared in disbelief for half a second then picked it up,...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That is a statement taught to me by my early sponsor after I realize in my stubbornness that I have attempted to control outcomes and came up battered and bruised. That sponsor is gone now however the lesson is fresh, loud and clear. My wife exercised caring for me leaving me a list of 10 suggestions wh...

gabigail · gabigail

I have in my recovery process two years ago realized that I am a codependent and that looking back at my parent's relationship, that's exactly what it was. But I did not grow up with alcohol. It was only when I got married that I realized the problem I inherited from my parents. I think the most glaringly o...

hotrod · hotrod

This. C2C reading for 5-7 speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It points out that once we truly accept that alcoholism this important fact, we are set free from trying to control it or be angry with the alcoholic. We can then turn our attention to our own recovery. This recovery is crucial to our o...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I took my husbands car off of our insurance. I have reasons to believe he has driven drunk a couple times (even though he just got a DUI). I told him a few weeks ago that if he continued to do so, I would remove him from the insurance and he would have to take the bus to work. Well, I FOLLOWED THROUGH, which I...

pixie · pixie

I've mentioned that my alcoholic father in law has dementia. But he's now 82 years old. My husband who is 55 is showing signs of what I'll call forgetfulness since he hasn't been to a dr. to be diagnosed. He forgets that I've told him things but gets mad when something happens and he'll say "why did...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Need some feedback pleaseâ¦Iâm not sure if my reaction/response to something my AH does when heâs been drinking borders on controlling/lack of acceptance (step 1) or if I am setting a true boundary.Â He claimed two weeks ago that he had hit his bottom and swore to all (his family, me, his job) that he...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for may six talks about Step 5, which asked that we, admit to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The reading goes on to point out that many of us are intimidated by this step because it means revealing our darkest secrets. These secrets we kept in our...

missmeliss · missmeliss

A local shopping centre is running a Mothers Day competition where the grand prize is 2 tickets to Elton John. Oh yes please, my mum and I are both big fans. The competition asks that you write 25 words about why your mum is special. So I decided to tell my mother about the competition and asked her what she...

dee88 · dee88

After reading the "Hope for Today, May 5" I went to read the slogans and I realized I think the best slogan for this new path in my life will be Listen & Learn. I am new to Al-Anon and am very excited to be able to participate in the online forum, as it is what makes me feel most comfortable. I wa...

butterfly88 · butterfly88

So I really want to change my actions and my thinking when it comes to my AH and our family...I'm planning to go through all of the steps and to attend meetings (as soon as I find my nerve), but in the meantime, I need something to give me strength for where I am right now. So his family has known he's gone th...

Irish7 · Irish7

I am currently working step 3, for several weeks now. I pray every night for God's will and the power to carry that out. But I cannot seem to figure out what God's will for me is. I am so so caught up in the confusion and subterfuge of this disease (married to an A and his two 20 something kids who live with us ar...

bc5913 · bc5913

I really need advice. I am turning to al-anon because I find no one understands the situation I am in and it is so easy for them to say to cut my losses and leave. I am in love with a man who has an alcohol problem. When we first met we both used to drink together all the time and at first it was fun but then it turne...

Gah2010 · Gah2010

I am a new member. I am having a difficult time with balancing "being a goood daughter" and setting boundaries. I have been living with this issue my entire life, I guess I'm tired (46 yrs). I have always been the adult. I recently found out that my mom started drinking again. I really wa...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about the slogans--their simplicity, their helpfulness, the way they can help keep us going in our right direction. In the first paragraph the writer makes the point that initially he thought the slogans were trite, over simplified, and was skeptical a...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Anyone interested in this? I am a texter and the more support the better, right? PM me- especially if you are a night owl! I seem to do my worst/obsessive thinking at that time. (I do face to face meetings at well, so this isnt my only means of support :)

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone! My ah was able to make it 4 months without drinking and then he slipped. I told him it isn't the slip but how he acts that is what I have problems with. The dry drunk came back with a vengeance and the mood swings it was one day of slippage and his moods went south he mentioned that he might be bipol...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

-The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Alanon World Services Belongs to the Alanon Groups - Something that has helped me a great deal in my own recovery and given me a great perspective on how to look at my recovery differently are the Concepts. Which very honestly after Steps and Traditio...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been marvelling over the whole "you're only as sick as your secrets" thing today. I know that years ago, when my daughter was a toddler and her father had recently left, I was at the library one day for story hour and I left her on a bean-bag with a bunch of happy little kids and asked a mum if...

Hillyard · Hillyard

I'm having a conflict right now and I'm not sure what to do. I have a hobby that I really enjoy that I have been involved in for over 23 years and I am thinking of letting it go. Right now it is really the only form of socializing that I do as it involved three other guys, one of whom is a good friend. I keep prayin...

Irish7 · Irish7

At an open AA meeting tonight, the speaker mentioned an AA saying that I just loved:time stand for "things I must earn". Wow, that hits home. ive only been in al anon for 5 months, and I'm working hard on me. My attitude reflects the progress. this week I started to wonder why some relationshi...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...

el-cee · el-cee

Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...

Hillyard · Hillyard

My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...

serenity47 · serenity47

Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...

el-cee · el-cee

The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....

Constant inner battle · Constant inner battle

Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...

Lnicole · Lnicole

My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...

bbqbrisket · bbqbrisket

My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Sometimes I wonder if I am overreacting about all of this. My AWs disease has not progressed as far as some of the stories I've read on here. But now, since I've been on these boards, I have begun to notice just how often my AW drinks, how she acts when she drinks (slurring her speech, swearing, etc) and I fe...

AWSmith · AWSmith

Thanks for the help in the past. Could use it. But apparently I cuss too much and my anti-police stance have raised teh ire of some pro-cop / anti-cussing admins. Good luck ya'll, could have really used your help tonight, but oh well. Keep helping folks.

Complexnatural · Complexnatural

I left my xah 22 years ago when I realized that the insanity was making me and my young children crazy. I grew up in a home with an a father so I recognized the crazy making. I have raised 3 nice sons, university educated and they seem pretty well balanced given the father they have had - still a serious a. ...

Debb · Debb

Wanted to share with everyone something that happened a few evenings ago. I purchased a mattress 2 1/2 years ago, the mattress is not holding up at all and has a 5 year unconditional warrantee. I needed...

JennaClair · JennaClair

I am completely new to Al Anon. I just went to my first meeting Tuesday. I have been going crazy needing to share my story with someone - anyone - as I feel like I am about to hit bottom. My H is an alcoholic. We have been together 15 years, and he started drinking 7 years ago. Before that, he was emotional...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 2 speaks about the power and importance of prayer.. It points out that prayer is simply a reaching out to make contact with a power greater than ourselves. It acknowledges our personal helplessness which has been demonstrated in their efforts to find peace and security. The r...

Hillyard · Hillyard

My AW and I both feel that we want to start socializing with others more, have people over, etc. I am very afraid about this. I don't want the socializing to center around alcohol. We went out with a few couples from her work and she got drunk each time. We are attempting to get more involved with a church we...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My AD, who denies she is either an alcoholic or addict....called me yesterday. I couldn't understand very much of what she said as she was partly whispering, but she also said she hadn't slept all the night before. She said she was depressed (because I had to put my/her 15 yr old cat to sleep due to termin...

mobius · mobius

Confounds me how I "forget" my brother is an alcoholic. This dawned on me last week when he was in my face, pointing his finger at me, leaning in with that snarl on his face yelling at me. I was actually shocked when I realized I'm in a conversation with an alcoholic! Why is it that I forget thi...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 1 speaks about thinking that; "if only" certain things would happen we could be happy. It points out that by doing so, we are putting our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. It suggests that by applying the First Step and admitting that we are powerles...

Hillyard · Hillyard

So yesterday, the day after I confronted my AW about her drinking and that she needed to stop arguing with our 18 year-old daughter while she was intoxicated, things seemed back to normal in the morning. I could tell my AW felt guilty but there was never any apology. That evening after work we went out t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Tradition 8 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60167332/alanon-tradition-8/	hotrod	2	532	May 9, 2015 by hotrod
	the last strand of gum. (Preview) Well the fan is hit. I decided to finalise the seperation by moving things to a more formal process. We had been doing an arrangement where the ah would come for weekends or when he was feeling down. For my part, I was hoping we could move into a friend ship type role, but I must have been having some kind of f...	a4l	7	728	May 9, 2015 by el-cee
	Today I told my 7 year old that her daddy wouldn't be living with us anymore. (Preview) My daughter started screaming in pain at the loss of her step daddy. This disease is beyond not fair. I dragged my daughter into loving a bipolar alcoholic and all I have is tears for the life we should have had- compared to what we ended up with. I can pretend that this is not a reality and I can pretend that...	Helpangel	9	593	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	Powerlessness is not the problem powerlessness weakness step 1 (Preview) There is a reading in one of the daily readers that includes this concept; It isn't my powerlessness that is the problem. It's the idea that i should have power that's the problem. I cannot find this reading. Can someone help? I have learned in 4th and 5th step work that it is my job to focus on what is, not w...	PhilB	2	730	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	The weekend (Preview) I hate the weekend. I love to not have to work...but the weekends are when either 1)my weekend is absorbed with AH getting wasted and doing whatever he wants until Sunday when he apologizes or 2)he isn't drinking, like now, but he is so irritable and annoyed that he can't drink that everything is an issu...	butterfly88	3	476	May 8, 2015 by a4l
	1st time here....don't understand 12 step (Al-Anon (Preview) I've seen the stickies but I guess I'm thick headed.	worried Mom	7	542	May 8, 2015 by ntd2001
	Am I to blame??? (Preview) Just found y'all yesterday... went to last nights 9:00 meeting, been reading these posts.....I have an A daughter who admits she's an A, she's married to an A who doesn't admit it. I let her call me all hours of the night and listen to her drunk ramblings. Nothing makes sense. I get the feeling from posts...	worried Mom	5	721	May 8, 2015 by Mike B
	control, God's Grace and Mercy (Preview) I've been thinking about the correlation between God's grace and mercy and a sense of entitlement. Since God's Grace is him giving us things we don't deserve and his Mercy is him not giving us what we do deserve. In social service work I see clients who determine in their own mind (and are taught by the s...	glad	1	572	May 8, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT 5-8 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the gifts that are offered to us by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that *"freedom* "is one of the gifts that we receive. When we come to Al-Anon we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair and by working the program we are be able to re...	hotrod	0	232	May 8, 2015 by hotrod
	missing my son (Preview) Good Morning all Today is the 8th anniversary of my son's passing from this disease I miss him every moment of every day.	hotrod	31	965	May 7, 2015 by Truth
	Some Improvement (Preview) Since I came on these I'm beginning to notice some improvement, mainly in my thinking. I'm so tightly wound with anxiety but I feel the rope loosening around me. I'm putting a lot of emphasis on letting my HP's will be done and not mine. I am allowing myself to do more things that I'd usually refrain from i...	Hillyard	5	289	May 7, 2015 by Hillyard
	To trust him or not to trust him.. (Preview) Hi everyone.. I'm new to the forum but I have been popping in and out for around 5 years now. Just to fill you in abit... I met my husband in 2008 married in 2011 he is 47 and I am 28.. we have 2 young children who are 8 (his step daughter) and our boy is 2. He moved in with me in 2010, I knew he had a drinking problem...	bells28	4	656	May 7, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	My story (Preview) I just need to get this out there. It's been so long of up and down. I know my story is probably not as severe as others, but to me...it is an endless cycle that seems to be stealing everything I am away from me. I have been married to my husband for 14 years. When he isn't drinking and when he isn't depresse...	butterfly88	14	714	May 7, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Yep. it's about time I return to my Program...I deserve it (Preview) It is with a lot of guilt that I come back to the Al-Anon board. Guilt that I have been gone for so long and guilt because I was so cocky that I felt as though I no longer needed to come here and my f2f meetings. I am back to both and just as crazy as I was when I first showed up here to the board. I am aware enough to kn...	wildthang86	6	745	May 7, 2015 by ntd2001
	My Story/need an outside opinion (Preview) I am new to this. I am getting ready to marry the man i love. He is an alcoholic. I knew this from the start and about his past. I know he has gotten help before and then started drinking again. He has never hit me or been verbaly abusive. I came home one day and he had been drinking after getting some bad news no...	irishwife	7	1367	May 7, 2015 by irishwife
	Need Help... (Preview) So, here we go again. My AW is mad because I'm not responding the way she wants me to regarding a situation. She wants me to feel passionate about something and I do but not the way she would like. I tried to listen an be supportive but it wasn't good enough. I tried to reiterate that I do care I just don't resp...	Hillyard	5	517	May 7, 2015 by andromeda
	Needing to start somewhere. Any advice would be greatly appreciated :) (Preview) Good evening everyone, I am writing here because I am not sure how to deal with my mothers alcoholism anymore and I am wanting to find some advice from people that have been in a similar situation. From a little girl, around the age of six, I have grown up with this crazy and emotionally tolling world that...	JAH91	6	660	May 7, 2015 by Tracy
	The addict throwing everything at me but the kitchen sink (Preview) It has been such an awful couple of weeks. Two of my dear friends have passed away, financial stress and taxes and now last night after my friend's service my AB and I stopped by his office to drop off the bike and there on his desk was a razor blade. I stared in disbelief for half a second then picked it up,...	GreenerGal	10	721	May 7, 2015 by GreenerGal
	There I got myself good that time... (Preview) That is a statement taught to me by my early sponsor after I realize in my stubbornness that I have attempted to control outcomes and came up battered and bruised. That sponsor is gone now however the lesson is fresh, loud and clear. My wife exercised caring for me leaving me a list of 10 suggestions wh...	Jerry F	5	553	May 7, 2015 by Jill
	Controlling CoaA/A (Preview) I have in my recovery process two years ago realized that I am a codependent and that looking back at my parent's relationship, that's exactly what it was. But I did not grow up with alcohol. It was only when I got married that I realized the problem I inherited from my parents. I think the most glaringly o...	gabigail	7	596	May 7, 2015 by maryjane
	C2C 5-7 (Preview) This. C2C reading for 5-7 speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It points out that once we truly accept that alcoholism this important fact, we are set free from trying to control it or be angry with the alcoholic. We can then turn our attention to our own recovery. This recovery is crucial to our o...	hotrod	0	321	May 7, 2015 by hotrod
	Feeling guilty/responsible and I SHOULDNT. (Preview) I took my husbands car off of our insurance. I have reasons to believe he has driven drunk a couple times (even though he just got a DUI). I told him a few weeks ago that if he continued to do so, I would remove him from the insurance and he would have to take the bus to work. Well, I FOLLOWED THROUGH, which I...	Bloodshotbetty	3	541	May 7, 2015 by hotrod
	my alcoholic husband is becoming his father (Preview) I've mentioned that my alcoholic father in law has dementia. But he's now 82 years old. My husband who is 55 is showing signs of what I'll call forgetfulness since he hasn't been to a dr. to be diagnosed. He forgets that I've told him things but gets mad when something happens and he'll say "why did...	pixie	4	623	May 7, 2015 by pixie
	feedback please...was it controlling or setting a boundary? (Preview) Need some feedback pleaseâ¦Iâm not sure if my reaction/response to something my AH does when heâs been drinking borders on controlling/lack of acceptance (step 1) or if I am setting a true boundary.Â He claimed two weeks ago that he had hit his bottom and swore to all (his family, me, his job) that he...	Hopefull15	7	634	May 6, 2015 by Hopefull15
	C2C 5-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for may six talks about Step 5, which asked that we, admit to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. The reading goes on to point out that many of us are intimidated by this step because it means revealing our darkest secrets. These secrets we kept in our...	hotrod	4	601	May 6, 2015 by Debb
	On a brighter note. (Preview) A local shopping centre is running a Mothers Day competition where the grand prize is 2 tickets to Elton John. Oh yes please, my mum and I are both big fans. The competition asks that you write 25 words about why your mum is special. So I decided to tell my mother about the competition and asked her what she...	missmeliss	4	502	May 6, 2015 by Hillyard
	Listen & Learn (Preview) After reading the "Hope for Today, May 5" I went to read the slogans and I realized I think the best slogan for this new path in my life will be Listen & Learn. I am new to Al-Anon and am very excited to be able to participate in the online forum, as it is what makes me feel most comfortable. I wa...	dee88	7	909	May 6, 2015 by Skorpi
	Here and now (Preview) So I really want to change my actions and my thinking when it comes to my AH and our family...I'm planning to go through all of the steps and to attend meetings (as soon as I find my nerve), but in the meantime, I need something to give me strength for where I am right now. So his family has known he's gone th...	butterfly88	5	624	May 6, 2015 by Mike B
	How to know HP's will? (Preview) I am currently working step 3, for several weeks now. I pray every night for God's will and the power to carry that out. But I cannot seem to figure out what God's will for me is. I am so so caught up in the confusion and subterfuge of this disease (married to an A and his two 20 something kids who live with us ar...	Irish7	10	598	May 5, 2015 by Irish7
	Turning to al-anon because I no longer know what to do. Please help. (Preview) I really need advice. I am turning to al-anon because I find no one understands the situation I am in and it is so easy for them to say to cut my losses and leave. I am in love with a man who has an alcohol problem. When we first met we both used to drink together all the time and at first it was fun but then it turne...	bc5913	5	608	May 5, 2015 by pinkchip
	My mother's keeper (Preview) I am a new member. I am having a difficult time with balancing "being a goood daughter" and setting boundaries. I have been living with this issue my entire life, I guess I'm tired (46 yrs). I have always been the adult. I recently found out that my mom started drinking again. I really wa...	Gah2010	6	632	May 5, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Hope for Today May 5 (Preview) Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about the slogans--their simplicity, their helpfulness, the way they can help keep us going in our right direction. In the first paragraph the writer makes the point that initially he thought the slogans were trite, over simplified, and was skeptical a...	yanksfan51	5	524	May 5, 2015 by Mike B
	Long distance texting support (Preview) Anyone interested in this? I am a texter and the more support the better, right? PM me- especially if you are a night owl! I seem to do my worst/obsessive thinking at that time. (I do face to face meetings at well, so this isnt my only means of support :)	Bloodshotbetty	0	318	May 5, 2015 by Bloodshotbetty
	Not dry drunk but bipolar!! (Preview) Hi everyone! My ah was able to make it 4 months without drinking and then he slipped. I told him it isn't the slip but how he acts that is what I have problems with. The dry drunk came back with a vengeance and the mood swings it was one day of slippage and his moods went south he mentioned that he might be bipol...	Helpangel	11	2352	May 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	Concept 1 - (Preview) -The Ultimate Responsibility and Authority for Alanon World Services Belongs to the Alanon Groups - Something that has helped me a great deal in my own recovery and given me a great perspective on how to look at my recovery differently are the Concepts. Which very honestly after Steps and Traditio...	SerenityRUS	1	3074	May 4, 2015 by hotrod
	You're Only as Sick as Your Secrets. (Preview) I've been marvelling over the whole "you're only as sick as your secrets" thing today. I know that years ago, when my daughter was a toddler and her father had recently left, I was at the library one day for story hour and I left her on a bean-bag with a bunch of happy little kids and asked a mum if...	missmeliss	13	868	May 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Letting go... (Preview) I'm having a conflict right now and I'm not sure what to do. I have a hobby that I really enjoy that I have been involved in for over 23 years and I am thinking of letting it go. Right now it is really the only form of socializing that I do as it involved three other guys, one of whom is a good friend. I keep prayin...	Hillyard	12	583	May 4, 2015 by el-cee
	T.I.M.E. (Preview) At an open AA meeting tonight, the speaker mentioned an AA saying that I just loved:time stand for "things I must earn". Wow, that hits home. ive only been in al anon for 5 months, and I'm working hard on me. My attitude reflects the progress. this week I started to wonder why some relationshi...	Irish7	6	427	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	Hold my hand please... AH returns to work today (Preview) I am a nervous wreck. My AH who was arrested on 1/5/15 and has been doing rehab (and thankfully is still sober) returns to the job he hates this morning. Normally I would have stayed home and made sure he was up and moving... NOT my circus not my monkeys... The best i did was wake him to make sure he got his...	ladybugnessa	15	603	May 4, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	todays odat (Preview) Gives me chills. Sticks in my mind. Its all about a man who loses his wife but goes on to speak at ameeting. He tells the story of a woman who gets a knock at the door during ww2. The man who has knocked her door arrives to tell her her husband has died, she guesses this and invites the man in for tea. He is amazed...	el-cee	13	648	May 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	Last night... (Preview) My wife had a few drinks. She was fine until she went out with our 18 year old daughter to get a pie at the store. My daughter drove. An argument for no reason occurred and my wife became nasty and obscene. They came home. My wife corners my daughter doing the whole arguing nonsense. I enter the room she tell...	Hillyard	14	671	May 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Boundary (Preview) Nothing has really changed with AD. The usual A behaviours that you are all familiar with. Incredibly heartbreaking and stressful but slowly I am getting more realistic and not reacting as much nor pleading, lecturing etc. It is however the absolutely most difficult thing I have endured. I h...	serenity47	7	414	May 4, 2015 by serenity47
	we are enlightened!!!! (Preview) The odat today asks us to consider everything being a gift from God of our understanding , everything. We might not like things not turning out our way, we are disappointed and rebel against unhappiness, fighting against the truth of our situation. We might think God of our understanding is punishin...	el-cee	3	360	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	BBQ yesterday evening (Preview) So, my family went over to meet the neighbors last night. Very nice people but lots of beer. My AW only had 1 or 2 glasses of wine so that was pleasant. It's strange how dominant alcohol is in everything we do in this culture. They had a young adult son in his mid 20s and that's all he was doing, pounding down b...	Hillyard	2	353	May 4, 2015 by Mike B
	My cure for fear was an alcoholic (Preview) When I think back to what led me to get together and stay for years with an active alcoholic I am coming to see that I'm kind of back in that stage of my life again. I'm living life pretty full on, or my own interpretation of that, taking some chances lately, working hard on myself and the rewards are coming....	el-cee	8	634	May 4, 2015 by el-cee
	Completely Frustrated with Myself (Preview) Hi, I am in program about 18 months. I have seen improvement with the way I deal with my reactions to others and less angry response. However, I am not seeing progress and I have asked God for help, guidance. directions in one area of my life I am really struggling with and feeling awful because I am see...	Constant inner battle	5	569	May 3, 2015 by Mirandac
	My SO is a recovering alcoholic. I need advice. (Preview) My girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic and doing very well in her sobriety. She is 2 years, almost 3 sober. We met at work. I pursued her. We've been dating for almost 3months. I'm her first sober relationship. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with her. Ive set boundaries and made it known what I wil...	Lnicole	5	486	May 3, 2015 by Constant inner battle
	Newbie here.....cool place....but have a question. (Preview) My adult son has been seeing a therapist and I believe he has been successfully keeping his alcohol abuse from the therapists knowledge. (He's is very creative.) Is it ethical to make his therapist aware of it? Would it be detrimental if my son finds out that I ratted on him? -- Edited by bbqbrisket on Su...	bbqbrisket	4	470	May 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Still trying to control (Preview) I find it very interesting that my XAH is still trying to manage my time even though it's been what .. 3 years? My poor kiddos, .. they get so tired of answering his bizzaro questions about what I'm doing. There is a total reason I have a no contact clause in the divorce decree. Last visitation which kee...	SerenityRUS	0	429	May 3, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Confusion (Preview) Sometimes I wonder if I am overreacting about all of this. My AWs disease has not progressed as far as some of the stories I've read on here. But now, since I've been on these boards, I have begun to notice just how often my AW drinks, how she acts when she drinks (slurring her speech, swearing, etc) and I fe...	Hillyard	4	512	May 3, 2015 by pinkchip
	Good night / good bye all (Preview) Thanks for the help in the past. Could use it. But apparently I cuss too much and my anti-police stance have raised teh ire of some pro-cop / anti-cussing admins. Good luck ya'll, could have really used your help tonight, but oh well. Keep helping folks.	AWSmith	15	826	May 3, 2015 by hotrod
	Feeling lost with adult children (Preview) I left my xah 22 years ago when I realized that the insanity was making me and my young children crazy. I grew up in a home with an a father so I recognized the crazy making. I have raised 3 nice sons, university educated and they seem pretty well balanced given the father they have had - still a serious a. ...	Complexnatural	6	578	May 3, 2015 by Complexnatural
	Come a long way baby!! :) (Preview) Wanted to share with everyone something that happened a few evenings ago. I purchased a mattress 2 1/2 years ago, the mattress is not holding up at all and has a 5 year unconditional warrantee. I needed...	Debb	11	574	May 3, 2015 by Debb
	New to Al Anon worried it might be too late. (Preview) I am completely new to Al Anon. I just went to my first meeting Tuesday. I have been going crazy needing to share my story with someone - anyone - as I feel like I am about to hit bottom. My H is an alcoholic. We have been together 15 years, and he started drinking 7 years ago. Before that, he was emotional...	JennaClair	9	597	May 3, 2015 by JennaClair
	ODAT 5-2 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 2 speaks about the power and importance of prayer.. It points out that prayer is simply a reaching out to make contact with a power greater than ourselves. It acknowledges our personal helplessness which has been demonstrated in their efforts to find peace and security. The r...	hotrod	1	376	May 2, 2015 by serenity47
	Socializing... (Preview) My AW and I both feel that we want to start socializing with others more, have people over, etc. I am very afraid about this. I don't want the socializing to center around alcohol. We went out with a few couples from her work and she got drunk each time. We are attempting to get more involved with a church we...	Hillyard	4	433	May 2, 2015 by Irish7
	I know hanging up on people is rude... (Preview) My AD, who denies she is either an alcoholic or addict....called me yesterday. I couldn't understand very much of what she said as she was partly whispering, but she also said she hadn't slept all the night before. She said she was depressed (because I had to put my/her 15 yr old cat to sleep due to termin...	lgnutah	7	600	May 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Why don't I remember that I'm talking with an alcoholic? (Preview) Confounds me how I "forget" my brother is an alcoholic. This dawned on me last week when he was in my face, pointing his finger at me, leaning in with that snarl on his face yelling at me. I was actually shocked when I realized I'm in a conversation with an alcoholic! Why is it that I forget thi...	mobius	2	416	May 2, 2015 by purav
	C2C and ODAT 5-1 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 1 speaks about thinking that; "if only" certain things would happen we could be happy. It points out that by doing so, we are putting our happiness on hold for things beyond our control. It suggests that by applying the First Step and admitting that we are powerles...	hotrod	1	421	May 2, 2015 by Debb
	Another night of confusion... (Preview) So yesterday, the day after I confronted my AW about her drinking and that she needed to stop arguing with our 18 year-old daughter while she was intoxicated, things seemed back to normal in the morning. I could tell my AW felt guilty but there was never any apology. That evening after work we went out t...	Hillyard	8	581	May 2, 2015 by el-cee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.