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What to do?
(Preview)
I did just comment about this on Andromeda's thread. Today was the day for me to decide my next round of enrollments for semester 2. I've been going around and around in circles all day getting more and more agitated because it just doesn't work and I am really at a loss. I've been very lucky this last seme...
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missmeliss
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14
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1560
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Back home again gratefully.
(Preview)
Aloha MIP family...was gone for a week without intention. A week ago yesterday my wife and youngest son put me in the car and rode me off to the local city hospital. Something was up again with my head and so we requested an emergency cat scan because I had recently returned from Oahu from emergency h...
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Jerry F
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14
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824
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I am here, because I am clearly crazy.
(Preview)
They say the first step to recovery is recognition. I got married 7 years ago. My husband is an Alcoholic, and I knew it when I married him, but I did it anyway. He and I started a business together, and after a year, he decided to gift 10% to each of his sons. Grown men with issues over him divorcing thei...
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Saucy
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8
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703
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Need ESH
(Preview)
I'm making myself crazy again. ABF has seemed a little "off" last night and this morning. Not incredibly so, but still. I have that feeling- like maybe he is kind of high or something. I'm not sure that he could be doing anything because he screens multiple times a week for both substances an...
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kspec85
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13
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677
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ODAT reading 5-22
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for today is very interesting as it speaks about the slogan, "Keeping it simple." It points out that the entire Alanon program is simple-- as the purpose is to help us iron out the rough spots and that can be done only one day at a time. It goes on to point out that each slogan, w...
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hotrod
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0
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223
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tradition 9
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps and Traditions Work. Tradition nine has been posted to the Step Work Board.Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60246048/alanon-tradition-9/ Please share your thoughts
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hotrod
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0
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605
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I think I did the right thing ..
(Preview)
Well .. I went ahead and let my XAH know he has the kids on Monday for Memorial Day and he's not said anything .. it is always up to the kids if they want to go however he needs to reach out to them. Now what he chooses to do with that information is on him. I'll be honest this benefits me far more than him. He's a...
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SerenityRUS
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1
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367
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Crazy week!
(Preview)
Crazy crazy week .. kids are getting out of school and so on. Holiday week at work .. LOL .. that is insane putting it mildly. I threw my program out the window yesterday so now I'm going through the wreckage at the moment and trying to figure it all out Seriously, I know everyone is stressed beyond belie...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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449
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Just saw my AW in the parking lot with the person she's having an affair with. Argh. I need help with comments...
(Preview)
Last month my AW left me. As I stated in other posts, she said she was "done" (ouch.) That I hadn't been attractive to her in years (Double ouch.) And that she was having an affair with someone I trusted and had invested in (Very, very ouch). Anyway, we all walked toward each other and I was o...
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SpookyMulder
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13
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909
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Setting boundries
(Preview)
Hi everyone.. I'm new here, did some research on the subject of setting boundaries and found some interesting stuff from 10 years ago or so but none of the information I saw was particular to my situation so I thought I'd throw this out for the group to respond. I am a husband of a binge-type alcoholic who...
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TxTycoon45
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9
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694
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Minding my side of the street
(Preview)
This is my latest thing to work on. I have a hard time with that in regards to my AH. I notice that I get irritated when I hear him talking with his sponsor who he calls every day. Every day the sponsor has some issue in his life...I worry that he isn't a great influence for my AH and when I hear them discussing h...
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Flower49
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0
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464
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ODAT reading 5-21
(Preview)
ODAT reading for today describes my initial approach to working the alanon program. It points out that many times we are anxious to put the program to work and get instant results, so we run around asking for everybody's opinion and thinking that the more opinions we get, the better we will be. Today...
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hotrod
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2
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414
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Pay it forward....
(Preview)
HI all... I'm swamped and busy but it's good busy... my son is getting married and it's out of town for us so we have a trip coming up. Trying not to stress about it. Anyway last night at our meeting (I am leading it) something happened and I jumped into mommy mode for a young lady who was melting down... (...
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ladybugnessa
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5
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553
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Lost / Confused
(Preview)
Hi, I have to admit this is the first time I thought of seeking help and just support, in this manner. I am a 40 year old, married, father of 1. We have been married for 13 years this october. The drinking has gotten progressively worse since 2009. My wife is to the point where she drinks 8 - 10 tall boys...
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endlesslyhopeless75
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15
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687
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I'll Never Be Perfect but I Can Be Better ~~ Anonymous
(Preview)
Before the 12 Steps, I worked hard like a hamster on a wheel striving to be perfect. Needless to say, in all my humanism, I failed. The program has taught me that perfect is impossible and it is great to be imperfect! Progress towards being a better person is all I need to strive for. In working to be a be...
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Iamhere
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3
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597
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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!
(Preview)
The above quote in the subject line is from Audrey Hepburn and spoke to me this morning. Part of my program is to make sure I take time to love me and work on me each day! So, this is my plan for how I will do positive and program things for me today... 1. Read my dailies. 2. Walk my favorite pup Layla. 3. Att...
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Iamhere
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8
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926
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I love this
(Preview)
Today is a new day. Today is a day for you to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day to begin to release all your limitations. Today is the day for you to learn the secrets of life. You can do it. You can change your life for the better. You already have the tools within you to do so. These to...
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mercedes1959
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5
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501
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Sometimes, You have to Be Your Own Hero...
(Preview)
Because sometimes, the people you can't live without can live without you. Author Unknown This quote, written by an unknown author truly hits home with me. In my pre-recovery world and way of thinking, I often felt and said to myself, "What would these As do without me?" I have learned th...
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Iamhere
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8
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682
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I failed a class
(Preview)
Thanks to al-anon I didn't freak out and figured out what my next step is right away. I get to retake it this summer and still graduate on time. I seriously needed an 84 on the final to pass and got an 83! So close but not quite enough, so onward and upward and I'm not beating myself up or anything. Life comes w...
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Breakingfree
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11
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696
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Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
(Preview)
Lyrics from one of my favorite songs, and it seems to describe my progress in the program and life at the moment. Despite my wife's best efforts to distract me, I did put myself first, wrap up my writing, defend, and graduate last week! (Ok, revisions to do, but they are minor.) My parents and an aunt we...
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Skorpi
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11
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2923
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I love my brother very much
(Preview)
He is out tonight drinking. I've been in recovery for thirty years and have been around alcoholics my whole life, dealt with mental health issues my whole life. So why I am I still so crazy with worry? Why does this still predominate my mind? Thank you for this forum. I know the answers to both of those q...
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vorpal
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5
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576
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Now for my next trick....
(Preview)
Ahhh. The first (and most difficult) exam done and I have to say I was grinning from ear to ear when I read through the paper because there was only 1 single question I wasn't absolutely sure of the answer to. Yay!! Here's to my new non-freaking out study method!! But truly this is the first time...ever....
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missmeliss
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4
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620
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ODAT reading 5-20
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for today. May 20 speaks about working the 12 steps in both AA and Al-Anon. It points out that AA stresses that the alcoholic who works. The 12 step is bound to make great progress. This is also true for Al-Anon members.. The reading goes on to point out that we do not limit our aspirations...
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hotrod
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2
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736
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Just need some encouraging words
(Preview)
Hello friends - i have not posted since the dysfunctional co worker post. The co worker does not bother me so much anymore, mostly because I tune her out and also she is really declining, 83 years old and mostly just walks around the office. Yesterday, a train hit me. I know my bosses are dysfunctional a...
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mercedes1959
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4
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633
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First F2F meeting
(Preview)
I went to my first F2F meeting this evening and it was just what I needed. There were so many nice people and they were very kind to me. The person running the Newcomer's meeting before the regular meeting was very welcoming and it was a great experience overall. I want to go back. Truthfully, I had been dr...
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Mikhail
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3
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477
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How do I love ME - Let me Count the WAYS!
(Preview)
It is Monday and I wanted to share what I am going to do for ME today to be gentle, kind and loving. For this member, if I don't know and love me, I can't know and love another fully. 1. Daily Readings. 2. Sponsor Meeting. 3. Walk with my Lovely Dog Layla. 4. MIP Meeting Tonight. 5. Monday night $1 Tacos...
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Iamhere
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11
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2202
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not only two - but three different mums
(Preview)
new here. don't know if I want to get into this but my nightmares about mum is starting to haunt me. i'm 27 years old. my mum drank when I was groing up and stopped when I was 15, she hasn't been drinking since. when she drank she was evil mum, and I didn't like that but at least I knew her. then she got sober and t...
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kristina
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4
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526
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Having a hard time dealing....
(Preview)
I am having such a hard time dealing with my anger and resentment towards my AH. He was going to meetings but this weekend didn't go to one. On Friday he tried to say that the other guys were far worse off in the meetings, basically making excuses. Then this weekend he was making tons of excuse to get out...
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Jazzie18
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5
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804
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Hope for Today May 19
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- This day's reading is about a person who wants to reach out to a family member but is held back because of feeling shame. The writer feels that everyone in the family sees her only as her alcoholic father's daughter, and feels isolated. After some thought she decides to write a...
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yanksfan51
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3
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647
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ODAT and C2C reading for 5-18
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for May 18 talks about being able to read Al-Anon literature and simply "talk the talk." It points out that :" talking the talk" is very ineffective and that we must learn to" walk the walk" in order for recovery to occur. We have been accustomed to...
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hotrod
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4
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726
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emotional eating/spending.
(Preview)
I started to notice around six months ago that ive become an emotional eater. Whenever I get upset, I reach for chocolate/ plan a morning around getting it. I have never had a lack of self control around food before, infact the opposite. I did a triathlon when my third child was 8 months old, and have...
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a4l
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9
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701
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New And Sad
(Preview)
My father has been a secret drinker for a long time and the family only recently discovered this when, as part of his treatment for diabetes, the doctors thought he might have liver cancer. We took that news as best we could and my dad started going to AA meetings in the hopes that he could stop drinking an...
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Mikhail
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7
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746
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What About You Today?
(Preview)
In the past, I have put others wants/needs in front of my own - to the point where I have neglected myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I thought it might be fun/helpful if we shared what we have done or plan to do for ourselves today! So - I will start - 1. I took a long walk with my fa...
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Iamhere
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16
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666
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Sunday night and all's well.
(Preview)
The weekend turned out to be lovely and relaxed. It was fun picking brother up from the station and driving around; he doesn't drive and he has never known me to. He normally refuses to discuss driving simply saying "I don't want to and I never will" (I said that for many years) but he opened up...
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missmeliss
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6
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671
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Divorced
(Preview)
I am divorced as of today. All went well in court. Took all of 30 minutes. Both of our lawyers present. They talked we did not. i had my ftf alanon right afterward perfect timing. I have Six days off in the next 2 weeks, at least i can put a dent in my junk. I need a good available rental come up soon. I keep loo...
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Mirandac
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12
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733
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Warning Signs?
(Preview)
I'm new in this journey. It's funny, I thought my alcoholic ex-boyfriend was the head case but I'm beginning to see patterns in my own behavior and choices that have led me here. 4 of my past 5 relationships have been with alcoholics. I'm attending in-person meetings and working through issues f...
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MsRobot
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8
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866
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My Friday Night Babble.
(Preview)
I love how this program translates to the rest of my life. I start 3 weeks of exams next week and today I sat down to begin my usual pre-exam nervous breakdown (the one where I look at everything I have to study all at once, wail and moan that I can't POSSIBLY remember all of this and I am STUPID for leaving it t...
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missmeliss
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8
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607
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Relationship rules
(Preview)
This last time when single after breaking up from an alcoholic, I finally developed some "relationship rules" for myself. I now recognize these were just boundaries and the rules were all based on painful past experiences...No drunks, no drug users, no party boys, no liars, no horribl...
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pinkchip
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13
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895
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Leaving
(Preview)
how do I get the strength to walk away from a 30 year marriage.?I have very little money no self esteem very few friends, my husband made sure of that. I am presently in a woman's refuge for a week now and hate it my husband is seriously ill. I thought I could cope but I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My gp offer...
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Emma9152
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5
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572
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ODAT Reading 5-17
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for May 17 makes a very important point. It suggests that when we are sick we go to the doctor and take the medicine that is prescribed . That when we are soul sick and heartsick we need medicine just as much or even more. That living with the disease of alcoholism and with our own neurot...
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hotrod
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3
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467
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Smoking pot, raging, an affair...Dry Drunk?
(Preview)
Hi. I know this subject has been written about before -- the posts I have read are more of a general nature. I introduced myself a little while back, too, so some of this people may have already read. I am seeking comments. Ok. So I know I am an enabler and have engaged in denial and poor boundaries and...
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SpookyMulder
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7
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653
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Husband has no empathy for deep childhood wounds
(Preview)
My father is an alcoholic (possibly sober now but not 100% sure...he did go to rehab a couple of years ago) and I am a grateful member of Al Anon. I have been working hard on my recovery through al anon and counseling. Situations will come up where I have anxiety about my dad possibly drinking, traumatic...
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Living508
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2
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672
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|
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im confused
(Preview)
A little about me, no kids, married, i came from a different country, i had to learn English on my own to survive, i paid my college tuition on my own - no loans always saving money and not living in debt - it was very difficult but i overcome that obstacle. i come from a middle class background but when i ca...
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needguidance
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5
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546
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crisis moment! please help!
(Preview)
2 years ago my qualifier (father) entered rehab....at my request. 2 years later we do not discuss anything to do with it...no mention of meetings etc. I have not seen him drink. He always drinks something like soda water or tea around me. Today is my brothers graduation and we went to a restaurant with...
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Living508
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8
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610
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What after vacation?
(Preview)
Hi all- not posted for a while but quietly working my steps & I feel well. My AH has been dry for 4 months after a drinking binge that put his life at risk. Gave him the wake up call he needed & he went to AA a few times. In those months he's looked after himself well. Obsessively exercising & diet...
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Tash2
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2
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417
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So Frustrated
(Preview)
so ah got a new car and already blew off the inportant day of going to get the puff device and his resticted liscense so now he is rolling the dice by drinking today. so i took his keys so he wont kill anyone at least for 2 days in his car. he is such a lost cause.. now he says he is suffering from incontinece of hi...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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536
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ODAT READING for 5-15
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for May 15 is a powerful reminder to keep the focus on ourselves and stop trying to figure out why somebody says what they say or do. The reading stresses importance of not jumping to conclusions about another person's motives, our actions as we cannot read people's minds. Even when...
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hotrod
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4
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516
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Each Episode Brings More To Light
(Preview)
I find that with each heated episode from AH, which are fewer and fewer as time goes on, that the results I am encountering seem to enlighten both me and AH. For me the enlightenment centers around more understanding and empathy for the disease and with that comes less resentment, not acceptance mind...
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Debb
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2
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479
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Effect of alcoholism on sexual desire?
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm recently divorced after less than three years with an alcoholic wife. I'm curious to know more about what alcoholism, or addiction in general, commonly does to sexual desire for the sober spouse in the marriage. I've heard "addiction kills love" a number of times and I can ce...
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jk17
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6
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617
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C2C 5-16
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today reminds us that in Al-Anon we come together as a" fellowship of equals" where no one is in charge and no one is an expert. Because the help we exchange is nonprofessional and has a specific goal, Al-Anon does not solve every problem. It is a remarkable effective ap...
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hotrod
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1
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344
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Long Suffering Martyr
(Preview)
Hi, long time co-dependent, first time caller. im on my second marriage to an alcoholic and SHOCKER, this ain't going too well. I have never had impulses to cover up for alcoholics, or manage their lives, per se, but I do have a huge problem shouldering far more than my share in the marriage and expectin...
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Todzilla
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10
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798
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Confused, ashamed, don't want to be here
(Preview)
I was brought up in a family with a history of alcoholics, although I never actually saw any of it. But I got the very strong message that alcohol was dangerous and bad, that it ruined lives, and that it drinking to excess was NEVER tolerated. As a result I have never drank alcohol my entire life and am un...
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PlainJane
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5
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550
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It's been a LONG time but here I am. Back again.
(Preview)
So here I am again. Full circle. History - Married my high school sweetheart at 18 when I got pregnant. That was back in 1992. 15 years of marriage. Divorced because of my husband's drug and alcohol abuse. His drug of choice back then: Cocaine/Crack. We were separated for one year and divorced fo...
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QOD
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3
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531
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Why is this so hard?
(Preview)
I read so many things things and get myself prepared for the next time this guy comes home drunk, but it never goes as planned and I don't know why. It should, because he always says and does the same things. Always. The only thing that changes is my strategy.
I plan for this, like, 'Next time I'll lock hi...
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MOF77
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10
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608
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New and Heartbroken
(Preview)
Hi, I'm very new to Alanon. Just went to my second meeting last night. I'm a 34 year old woman who fell deeply in love with the most wonderful man two years ago. We were best friends first and then ended up falling in love and he moved into my home. He's younger than me but at 27 had been on his own since he was a y...
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Blonde80
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3
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551
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Struggling in a world full of lies.
(Preview)
I am feeling very deflated at the moment. Worthless and useless too. Basically tomorrow is a pretty important and stressful day at work. Due the outstanding reputation of the school where I work with some principal and deputy principal from other school are coming to my school to visit/spend the day...
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Luiza
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7
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565
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How far can they go and still recover?
(Preview)
My husband of 33 years is in ICU for the past 2 weeks- perforated bowel ( duodenal ulcer from alcohol) that opened twice, tracheotomy tomorrow, liver and kidney function damaged from alcohol. If he does pull through they said a rehab then nursing home placement. He is only 60 years old. And myself and o...
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lisal
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15
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715
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Update on me!
(Preview)
Hello everyone, can you please keep me in your thoughts and send positive vibes for me to trust God's will and what my next step will be regarding my job situation. I had a job interview yesterday which went really well and they want to hire me but the pay is low and the drive is far. I have been homeschool...
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andromeda
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11
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655
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|
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IamHere....and I Am Back!
(Preview)
I had to see how long it's been since I've been 'here' and I am certainly surprised that it's been 5+ years. At the time, my DS and AH were my 'qualifiers' and I am happy to report my DS will be celebrating 5 years clean in July. While he's in a much better place, our relationship is strained at best. I am a do...
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Iamhere
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5
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515
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New here new to Al-Anon, stuck between a rock and a hard place
(Preview)
my significant other who I will refer to here as Steve has been an alcoholic for our entire relationship. We just had our 22 year anniversary of being together. We are not married but we might as well be. I have finally reached the end of my rope. The Saturday before last he had a major meltdown and was sc...
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JukuVee
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5
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539
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