Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Linda R · Linda R

Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...

Raven_x · Raven_x

I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...

Skorpi · Skorpi

So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...

helpless mom · helpless mom

My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...

almostThere · almostThere

Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...

Breezy139 · Breezy139

I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...

Fairlee · Fairlee

so I have been trying to "self assess" when I find myself wanting to return to unhealthy behavior. It's been very interesting taking the focus off of why I'm angry, frustrated and looking at why I deal with it the way I do and what my true motive is. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is that I...

hotrod · hotrod

This, C2C reading for May 29th addresses the powerful emotion of "fear". It points out that fear is usually focused on the future, because we worry about what might happen and try to anticipate any disastrous outcome so that we would be prepared to protect ourselves. The reading goe...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I'm realizing I've never been taught how to deal with anger. We weren't really allowed to be angry growing up, as my father had the corner market on that. Our job was to ensure we never ever did anything to provoke anger, and when it occurs it was my job to defuse it. So here I am a kick in the pants from 40 an...

Jessie226 · Jessie226

Hi everyone. I'm not even sure where to begin. My twin sister is an alcoholic. I don't even remember a time when she wasn't some kind of addict, not since middle school. We are 34 years old now. She got pregnant at 18, and through her 20's her drinking got progressively worse. She lost everything, all of h...

misterpiko · misterpiko

First time posting and my last one didn't work, so I'm keeping this brief. My hubby was just sent home from his out of town job because he relapsed for the 4th time this year on crack. For his 3rd relapse, the boundary I set was that we'd separate, and this time it was that we'd separate physically as well. I...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everybody: Today's reading is about Tradition Seven - being fully self-supporting. The writer tells of how Alanon helped her to change some habits she had formed as a child so that in her adulthood she had learned about how to better save money and support herself. This reading has made...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Al-anon has taught me to put a water proof protectant on my feathers. Now when it rains and it will rain, I can still go about my life and enjoy each moment for the gift it is. When my exAH calls or texts while drunk which he does, I don't have to take it personally or answer and it doesn't have to effect my mood...

Skorpi · Skorpi

I have been struggling recently with the fact that today is my wife's last day of intensive outpatient therapy and that she is still drinking. I managed to get my hopes up and believe her when she said she wanted to be sober for treatment this time. Well... Yesterday I left work around 10 am as planned to...

hopefull2015 · hopefull2015

I posted on here months ago when I was feeling very alone and contemplating going to a Face to Face meeting. Firstly, Thank you to everyone who commented and encouraged me back in those dark days. It really meant a lot and I did start going to meetings! My husband is now away working following a period of u...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about competing with others and constantly comparing . It points out that the only valid comparison is to compare myself to, who I am now to the person that I used to be. I love the slogan" Compare and Despair"as it reminds me of the quote from Malthie Babc...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well today was due to be my first day at my new uni. Daughter decided to develop the flu overnight and needed to stay at home today watching anime on the couch and sipping hot lemon and honey drinks. I can't say I was entirely upset by this as I have begun new classes whilst in the middle of exams and it's pre...

jen1234 · jen1234

Hello I'm new to the page and taking great comfort from your comments to each other. Just wondered if anyone had experienced pressure from their in laws to stay with their A? I have just left my AH for the 4th time as we have had another binge and I am detemined to make a life away from all the chaos to bring u...

MsRobot · MsRobot

I didn't have any idea how listening to others' experiences would bring so many memories and emotions to the surface. Wow! A good friend of mine called me. I told her that I found Al-Anon and how amazed and grateful I am that a group can be so inspiring and supportive. Than I told her that my ex-boy...

gabigail · gabigail

I had a great day yesterday with my A. I have leaned heavily on my HP lately which has me thinking things differently and not getting so defensive, etc. So when I got home from work yesterday, I was going to let go of all the hurt and bad tapes and past conversations my A and I have had and just have a nice con...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

So I sincerely don't want to offend anyone -- please hit the back button if this topic upsets you. Since my ex AW and I broke up there has been something that has been bothering me. I have made the realization that one of the reasons I am sad about losing this relationship is that the sexual aspect of the r...

Theruts · Theruts

I'm new to this message board and I'm in search of a nearby meeting for my wife and I to go to. I recognize that we are powerless over this and we need help. Our daughter is a recovering drug user and alcoholic. She is about 75 days into sobriety. She is on her first step. She is a young adult, age 19 and li...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Saucy · Saucy

Last night after my AH got home from his 3rd AA meeting, he came home and told me that one of his (heroin addicted) sons had called and begged for money to "feed his family". I told him that I had heard a powerful thing in my Al Anon meeting, about a man who got on his knees and prayed for his kids...

hotrod · hotrod

It is interesting to note that both the Courage to Change and the ODAT readings for today, May 27, discusses losing hope, shutting down all our feelings out of fear of disappointment, and deciding that caring, hoping waiting are risky and avoiding disappointment is the way to go. We can pull ourselve...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I think I am having a pretty heavy anxiety/panic attack feeling all day. I am not able to manage the physical sensation. Heavy chest, stomach tore up, I mainly feel weird and have trouble breathing. I like a Monday night meeting in my mom's home state but could not be there this week and am home where I d...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Since I have been going through a rough time with my recent separation/divorce and asking a lot of questions about how to cope, I thought I would share a couple victories. First, I started looking for roommates since my ex AW left, since I needed help with the animal sanctuary, didn't want to be alone 5...

Lovejailed · Lovejailed

Confusion abound. I have been with my husband for 7 years. Married for almost 4 of them. As a couple I have learned a few things about myself that I truly don't like and I am working on. I started to realize my husband was a Jekyll and Hyde. I saw the alcohol being drank while I was showering in the morning....

Holly09 · Holly09

I finally did it after a belligerent night last night (first one in years believe it or not) I stuck to my commitment and this morning told him he couldn't stay here anymore. It kind of just blurted out of my mouth after his apology him saying we need to talk. I wasn't angry or resentful I calmly explaine...

Butterfly0516 · Butterfly0516

I left this forum for a few weeks....right when things were getting crazy and AH was falling back into his old ways after 90 days of outpatient rehab. Well, about a week and a half ago, something happened....he went on a golfing trip with his buddies, got wasted of course. But the next day, something c...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And OMGOSH .. LOL .. it almost got ugly this town is not big enough we almost wound up at the same place for lunch. He thought it was a good idea to take them to a "bar" it's actually the local pool hall. My son plays there on Saturday's. I have no idea what possessed him that was a good idea .. the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Wow. So I continued having a crisis about my uni classes not being at times I could do without leaving my daughter all alone but I decided to just keep on next-right-thinging it (and that means study for exams right now) and trust that my HP had something better in mind. I'm getting better and better at do...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of alanon and Ive recently came to another realisation. learning that ive been affected by alcoholism has allowed me to look at the symptoms within myself. The anger, resentment, controlling, manipulating, victim, martyr type symptoms. Ive been thinking about when this sta...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 25th speaks about the destructive tool of" denying" reality and goes on to point out that denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism. Alcoholics often denied their drinking problems and many of us who have been affected by this disease,also deny our proble...

Fairlee · Fairlee

why do I have to learn the hard way? Ugh! Stubborness runs deep in this Texas girl! My AH once again suffered a physical ailment due to his drinking and had yet another doctor tell him he needed to stop drinking. He didn't share this with me until 3 weeks after it happened. Whatever. So he started off good...

Saucy · Saucy

Well, I took your advice, friends, and I went to a Face to Face meeting. I have been home a few hours from it, and am still amazed at one little thing that was said, that struck me deeply. It was a super small meeting, because I live in a pretty small community, but I heard something I just have to share: We we...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I was thinking this morning how resistant I can be to try trying new things. I tend to champion myself as a risk taker but I'm not. I'm very selective in what I explore. It's a form of laziness, closed mindedness and judgementalism. In an Alanon meeting that I attend, we pass a sign up calendar. Membe...

Abs0412 · Abs0412

With much hesitation I dated a recovering alcoholic for the past 4.5 years. It was initially a bumpy ride and has intermittently been that way for the past couple years. He will engage in behaviors that start arguments such as saying provocative things to me, being extremely irritable etc. I had br...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 24 th talks about the Steps. In the beginning, the reading focuses on the First Step and how it is most important, to finally admit that we are powerless over the disease of alcoholism . It goes on to state that because of the confusion arising from these efforts, and this helpl...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 23rd speaks about perfectionism. It points out that sometimes the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is to admit that we are not perfect, are human and can make mistakes. The reading acknowledges that although we can sometimes admit this to ourselves, admitting it to ot...

Maggiesmom · Maggiesmom

ok, I'm new to this idea of a support group, but here I go... Nobody in my family has ever been an alcohoholic and most are only social drinkers as am I. However, my friend is. We were married long time ago and have always been friends, and he did drink way back then but nothing enough to be considered that he...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I don't know if I should be so amused but I am now. As I have moaned about many times lately, daughter's father is being a real nuisance recently and quite abusive and aggressive. Daughter is at an age where she doesn't really want to go to his house so often, she has other things going on in her life, I don't...

runningwife · runningwife

I left my AH tonight. I told him no more and he didn't believe me. It turned into a huge awful mess in front of my children. He scared my children, terrified them. He called my phone 20-30 times and kept saying the same thing over and over. He said I'm retarded and really messed up. I could smell the alcohol...

andromeda · andromeda

I am feeling very guilty about going back to work and leaving my son home a lot more in the future. He is 16.5 but he has been my sidekick all these years as I homeschooled him, etc. It will be a significant change for all of us and my XAH is making things more difficult because he's so emotional and caught u...

mjferg · mjferg

My daughter's boyfriend got into a bad argument with his father and is now living with us.He isn't working ,doesn't help much around the house and basically plays video games all the time.My daughter works and goes to college.I am also going to school and I am in the middle of a big remodel.I told my dau...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I did just comment about this on Andromeda's thread. Today was the day for me to decide my next round of enrollments for semester 2. I've been going around and around in circles all day getting more and more agitated because it just doesn't work and I am really at a loss. I've been very lucky this last seme...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP family...was gone for a week without intention. A week ago yesterday my wife and youngest son put me in the car and rode me off to the local city hospital. Something was up again with my head and so we requested an emergency cat scan because I had recently returned from Oahu from emergency h...

Saucy · Saucy

They say the first step to recovery is recognition. I got married 7 years ago. My husband is an Alcoholic, and I knew it when I married him, but I did it anyway. He and I started a business together, and after a year, he decided to gift 10% to each of his sons. Grown men with issues over him divorcing thei...

kspec85 · kspec85

I'm making myself crazy again. ABF has seemed a little "off" last night and this morning. Not incredibly so, but still. I have that feeling- like maybe he is kind of high or something. I'm not sure that he could be doing anything because he screens multiple times a week for both substances an...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today is very interesting as it speaks about the slogan, "Keeping it simple." It points out that the entire Alanon program is simple-- as the purpose is to help us iron out the rough spots and that can be done only one day at a time. It goes on to point out that each slogan, w...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps and Traditions Work. Tradition nine has been posted to the Step Work Board.Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60246048/alanon-tradition-9/ Please share your thoughts

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well .. I went ahead and let my XAH know he has the kids on Monday for Memorial Day and he's not said anything .. it is always up to the kids if they want to go however he needs to reach out to them. Now what he chooses to do with that information is on him. I'll be honest this benefits me far more than him. He's a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Crazy crazy week .. kids are getting out of school and so on. Holiday week at work .. LOL .. that is insane putting it mildly. I threw my program out the window yesterday so now I'm going through the wreckage at the moment and trying to figure it all out Seriously, I know everyone is stressed beyond belie...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Last month my AW left me. As I stated in other posts, she said she was "done" (ouch.) That I hadn't been attractive to her in years (Double ouch.) And that she was having an affair with someone I trusted and had invested in (Very, very ouch). Anyway, we all walked toward each other and I was o...

TxTycoon45 · TxTycoon45

Hi everyone.. I'm new here, did some research on the subject of setting boundaries and found some interesting stuff from 10 years ago or so but none of the information I saw was particular to my situation so I thought I'd throw this out for the group to respond. I am a husband of a binge-type alcoholic who...

Flower49 · Flower49

This is my latest thing to work on. I have a hard time with that in regards to my AH. I notice that I get irritated when I hear him talking with his sponsor who he calls every day. Every day the sponsor has some issue in his life...I worry that he isn't a great influence for my AH and when I hear them discussing h...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for today describes my initial approach to working the alanon program. It points out that many times we are anxious to put the program to work and get instant results, so we run around asking for everybody's opinion and thinking that the more opinions we get, the better we will be. Today...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

HI all... I'm swamped and busy but it's good busy... my son is getting married and it's out of town for us so we have a trip coming up. Trying not to stress about it. Anyway last night at our meeting (I am leading it) something happened and I jumped into mommy mode for a young lady who was melting down... (...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New to having an addicted significant other. Advice? (Preview) Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...	Linda R	8	500	May 30, 2015 by mjferg
	1.75 Liters in 4 days (Preview) I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...	Raven_x	22	5359	May 29, 2015 by Raven_x
	Reality and what I imagined were SO different! (Preview) So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...	Skorpi	6	527	May 29, 2015 by Irish7
	depression in alcoholics (Preview) My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...	helpless mom	5	553	May 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	Reflections of Progress.... (Preview) Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...	Jozie	5	432	May 29, 2015 by serenity47
	Here it comes again... (Preview) So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...	PennyJenny010115	15	789	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	I need a push and I'm stubborn as hell. ( 1 2 ) newbie religion higher power loneliness anger first meeting (Preview) Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...	almostThere	67	17027	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	First post, feeling so lost and confused (Preview) I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...	Breezy139	5	417	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	My biggest problem (Preview) so I have been trying to "self assess" when I find myself wanting to return to unhealthy behavior. It's been very interesting taking the focus off of why I'm angry, frustrated and looking at why I deal with it the way I do and what my true motive is. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is that I...	Fairlee	8	663	May 29, 2015 by glad
	C2C reading 5-29 (Preview) This, C2C reading for May 29th addresses the powerful emotion of "fear". It points out that fear is usually focused on the future, because we worry about what might happen and try to anticipate any disastrous outcome so that we would be prepared to protect ourselves. The reading goe...	hotrod	2	457	May 29, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Anger - what to do with it? (Preview) I'm realizing I've never been taught how to deal with anger. We weren't really allowed to be angry growing up, as my father had the corner market on that. Our job was to ensure we never ever did anything to provoke anger, and when it occurs it was my job to defuse it. So here I am a kick in the pants from 40 an...	LedfootJenny	10	591	May 29, 2015 by andromeda
	First post, feeling hopeless (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm not even sure where to begin. My twin sister is an alcoholic. I don't even remember a time when she wasn't some kind of addict, not since middle school. We are 34 years old now. She got pregnant at 18, and through her 20's her drinking got progressively worse. She lost everything, all of h...	Jessie226	9	412	May 29, 2015 by Jessie226
	New Here- Need Advice Re: husband who is relapsing (Preview) First time posting and my last one didn't work, so I'm keeping this brief. My hubby was just sent home from his out of town job because he relapsed for the 4th time this year on crack. For his 3rd relapse, the boundary I set was that we'd separate, and this time it was that we'd separate physically as well. I...	misterpiko	9	622	May 29, 2015 by misterpiko
	Hope for Today May 26 (Preview) Good morning everybody: Today's reading is about Tradition Seven - being fully self-supporting. The writer tells of how Alanon helped her to change some habits she had formed as a child so that in her adulthood she had learned about how to better save money and support herself. This reading has made...	yanksfan51	3	674	May 29, 2015 by Breakingfree
	I finally get the water off a ducks back saying...... (Preview) Al-anon has taught me to put a water proof protectant on my feathers. Now when it rains and it will rain, I can still go about my life and enjoy each moment for the gift it is. When my exAH calls or texts while drunk which he does, I don't have to take it personally or answer and it doesn't have to effect my mood...	Breakingfree	8	469	May 28, 2015 by andromeda
	HP reminded me that it isn't my responsibility... (Preview) I have been struggling recently with the fact that today is my wife's last day of intensive outpatient therapy and that she is still drinking. I managed to get my hopes up and believe her when she said she wanted to be sober for treatment this time. Well... Yesterday I left work around 10 am as planned to...	Skorpi	8	483	May 28, 2015 by Irish7
	Al-Anon meetings (Preview) I posted on here months ago when I was feeling very alone and contemplating going to a Face to Face meeting. Firstly, Thank you to everyone who commented and encouraged me back in those dark days. It really meant a lot and I did start going to meetings! My husband is now away working following a period of u...	hopefull2015	20	935	May 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2C 5-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about competing with others and constantly comparing . It points out that the only valid comparison is to compare myself to, who I am now to the person that I used to be. I love the slogan" Compare and Despair"as it reminds me of the quote from Malthie Babc...	hotrod	1	395	May 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	So much for my first day! (Preview) Well today was due to be my first day at my new uni. Daughter decided to develop the flu overnight and needed to stay at home today watching anime on the couch and sipping hot lemon and honey drinks. I can't say I was entirely upset by this as I have begun new classes whilst in the middle of exams and it's pre...	missmeliss	3	611	May 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	pressure from in laws (Preview) Hello I'm new to the page and taking great comfort from your comments to each other. Just wondered if anyone had experienced pressure from their in laws to stay with their A? I have just left my AH for the 4th time as we have had another binge and I am detemined to make a life away from all the chaos to bring u...	jen1234	15	844	May 28, 2015 by Skorpi
	Fake Happiness (Preview) I didn't have any idea how listening to others' experiences would bring so many memories and emotions to the surface. Wow! A good friend of mine called me. I told her that I found Al-Anon and how amazed and grateful I am that a group can be so inspiring and supportive. Than I told her that my ex-boy...	MsRobot	7	761	May 28, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	I hate this disease! HP passive aggressive (Preview) I had a great day yesterday with my A. I have leaned heavily on my HP lately which has me thinking things differently and not getting so defensive, etc. So when I got home from work yesterday, I was going to let go of all the hurt and bad tapes and past conversations my A and I have had and just have a nice con...	gabigail	7	761	May 28, 2015 by gabigail
	SEX: AN HONEST QUESTION... (Preview) So I sincerely don't want to offend anyone -- please hit the back button if this topic upsets you. Since my ex AW and I broke up there has been something that has been bothering me. I have made the realization that one of the reasons I am sad about losing this relationship is that the sexual aspect of the r...	SpookyMulder	25	1035	May 28, 2015 by Breakingfree
	My first post and need serious advice (Preview) I'm new to this message board and I'm in search of a nearby meeting for my wife and I to go to. I recognize that we are powerless over this and we need help. Our daughter is a recovering drug user and alcoholic. She is about 75 days into sobriety. She is on her first step. She is a young adult, age 19 and li...	Theruts	13	551	May 28, 2015 by Theruts
	Is the chatroom down? (Preview)	mercedes1959	5	450	May 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH's reaction to MY recovery (Preview) Last night after my AH got home from his 3rd AA meeting, he came home and told me that one of his (heroin addicted) sons had called and begged for money to "feed his family". I told him that I had heard a powerful thing in my Al Anon meeting, about a man who got on his knees and prayed for his kids...	Saucy	10	665	May 27, 2015 by a4l
	ODAT and C2C readings 5-27 (Preview) It is interesting to note that both the Courage to Change and the ODAT readings for today, May 27, discusses losing hope, shutting down all our feelings out of fear of disappointment, and deciding that caring, hoping waiting are risky and avoiding disappointment is the way to go. We can pull ourselve...	hotrod	2	688	May 27, 2015 by Skorpi
	tore up stomach all day. so much fun. (Preview) I think I am having a pretty heavy anxiety/panic attack feeling all day. I am not able to manage the physical sensation. Heavy chest, stomach tore up, I mainly feel weird and have trouble breathing. I like a Monday night meeting in my mom's home state but could not be there this week and am home where I d...	giraffe13	3	668	May 27, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	A raging stranger, a letter written 6 times, and bottle being waved under my nose and a thank you...LOL (Preview) Since I have been going through a rough time with my recent separation/divorce and asking a lot of questions about how to cope, I thought I would share a couple victories. First, I started looking for roommates since my ex AW left, since I needed help with the animal sanctuary, didn't want to be alone 5...	SpookyMulder	13	782	May 26, 2015 by Mirandac
	Do I stay or do I go? This is a constant battle in my heart and mind. (Preview) Confusion abound. I have been with my husband for 7 years. Married for almost 4 of them. As a couple I have learned a few things about myself that I truly don't like and I am working on. I started to realize my husband was a Jekyll and Hyde. I saw the alcohol being drank while I was showering in the morning....	Lovejailed	9	710	May 26, 2015 by Fairlee
	I finally took that scary step! (Preview) I finally did it after a belligerent night last night (first one in years believe it or not) I stuck to my commitment and this morning told him he couldn't stay here anymore. It kind of just blurted out of my mouth after his apology him saying we need to talk. I wasn't angry or resentful I calmly explaine...	Holly09	8	707	May 26, 2015 by Jen61
	Could this be (Preview) I left this forum for a few weeks....right when things were getting crazy and AH was falling back into his old ways after 90 days of outpatient rehab. Well, about a week and a half ago, something happened....he went on a golfing trip with his buddies, got wasted of course. But the next day, something c...	Butterfly0516	4	528	May 26, 2015 by glad
	Saw the kids (Preview) And OMGOSH .. LOL .. it almost got ugly this town is not big enough we almost wound up at the same place for lunch. He thought it was a good idea to take them to a "bar" it's actually the local pool hall. My son plays there on Saturday's. I have no idea what possessed him that was a good idea .. the...	SerenityRUS	0	489	May 25, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Happy Monday (Preview) Wow. So I continued having a crisis about my uni classes not being at times I could do without leaving my daughter all alone but I decided to just keep on next-right-thinging it (and that means study for exams right now) and trust that my HP had something better in mind. I'm getting better and better at do...	missmeliss	3	470	May 25, 2015 by Saucy
	born into alcoholism! (Preview) Im a grateful member of alanon and Ive recently came to another realisation. learning that ive been affected by alcoholism has allowed me to look at the symptoms within myself. The anger, resentment, controlling, manipulating, victim, martyr type symptoms. Ive been thinking about when this sta...	el-cee	5	547	May 25, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	C2C 5-25 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 25th speaks about the destructive tool of" denying" reality and goes on to point out that denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism. Alcoholics often denied their drinking problems and many of us who have been affected by this disease,also deny our proble...	hotrod	0	451	May 25, 2015 by hotrod
	Sobriety for two weeks was not what I had expected... (Preview) why do I have to learn the hard way? Ugh! Stubborness runs deep in this Texas girl! My AH once again suffered a physical ailment due to his drinking and had yet another doctor tell him he needed to stop drinking. He didn't share this with me until 3 weeks after it happened. Whatever. So he started off good...	Fairlee	12	797	May 24, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	Took your advice! (Preview) Well, I took your advice, friends, and I went to a Face to Face meeting. I have been home a few hours from it, and am still amazed at one little thing that was said, that struck me deeply. It was a super small meeting, because I live in a pretty small community, but I heard something I just have to share: We we...	Saucy	6	625	May 24, 2015 by hopefull2015
	Complacency - One to Grow On (Preview) I was thinking this morning how resistant I can be to try trying new things. I tend to champion myself as a risk taker but I'm not. I'm very selective in what I explore. It's a form of laziness, closed mindedness and judgementalism. In an Alanon meeting that I attend, we pass a sign up calendar. Membe...	tiredtonite	3	849	May 24, 2015 by maryjane
	Dating recovering alcoholic (Preview) With much hesitation I dated a recovering alcoholic for the past 4.5 years. It was initially a bumpy ride and has intermittently been that way for the past couple years. He will engage in behaviors that start arguments such as saying provocative things to me, being extremely irritable etc. I had br...	Abs0412	14	893	May 24, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	ODAT reading 5-24 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 24 th talks about the Steps. In the beginning, the reading focuses on the First Step and how it is most important, to finally admit that we are powerless over the disease of alcoholism . It goes on to state that because of the confusion arising from these efforts, and this helpl...	hotrod	1	456	May 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 5-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 23rd speaks about perfectionism. It points out that sometimes the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is to admit that we are not perfect, are human and can make mistakes. The reading acknowledges that although we can sometimes admit this to ourselves, admitting it to ot...	hotrod	4	527	May 24, 2015 by hotrod
	New to this, now what (Preview) ok, I'm new to this idea of a support group, but here I go... Nobody in my family has ever been an alcohoholic and most are only social drinkers as am I. However, my friend is. We were married long time ago and have always been friends, and he did drink way back then but nothing enough to be considered that he...	Maggiesmom	16	816	May 24, 2015 by Saucy
	Sorry, I seem to have forgotten where I put my buttons.... (Preview) I don't know if I should be so amused but I am now. As I have moaned about many times lately, daughter's father is being a real nuisance recently and quite abusive and aggressive. Daughter is at an age where she doesn't really want to go to his house so often, she has other things going on in her life, I don't...	missmeliss	13	715	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	I left (Preview) I left my AH tonight. I told him no more and he didn't believe me. It turned into a huge awful mess in front of my children. He scared my children, terrified them. He called my phone 20-30 times and kept saying the same thing over and over. He said I'm retarded and really messed up. I could smell the alcohol...	runningwife	18	745	May 23, 2015 by stillhangingon
	Guilt (Preview) I am feeling very guilty about going back to work and leaving my son home a lot more in the future. He is 16.5 but he has been my sidekick all these years as I homeschooled him, etc. It will be a significant change for all of us and my XAH is making things more difficult because he's so emotional and caught u...	andromeda	12	620	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	need some input (Preview) My daughter's boyfriend got into a bad argument with his father and is now living with us.He isn't working ,doesn't help much around the house and basically plays video games all the time.My daughter works and goes to college.I am also going to school and I am in the middle of a big remodel.I told my dau...	mjferg	13	563	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	What to do? (Preview) I did just comment about this on Andromeda's thread. Today was the day for me to decide my next round of enrollments for semester 2. I've been going around and around in circles all day getting more and more agitated because it just doesn't work and I am really at a loss. I've been very lucky this last seme...	missmeliss	14	1514	May 23, 2015 by Fairlee
	Back home again gratefully. (Preview) Aloha MIP family...was gone for a week without intention. A week ago yesterday my wife and youngest son put me in the car and rode me off to the local city hospital. Something was up again with my head and so we requested an emergency cat scan because I had recently returned from Oahu from emergency h...	Jerry F	14	818	May 23, 2015 by Fairlee
	I am here, because I am clearly crazy. (Preview) They say the first step to recovery is recognition. I got married 7 years ago. My husband is an Alcoholic, and I knew it when I married him, but I did it anyway. He and I started a business together, and after a year, he decided to gift 10% to each of his sons. Grown men with issues over him divorcing thei...	Saucy	8	697	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	Need ESH (Preview) I'm making myself crazy again. ABF has seemed a little "off" last night and this morning. Not incredibly so, but still. I have that feeling- like maybe he is kind of high or something. I'm not sure that he could be doing anything because he screens multiple times a week for both substances an...	kspec85	13	671	May 22, 2015 by jk17
	ODAT reading 5-22 (Preview) The ODA T reading for today is very interesting as it speaks about the slogan, "Keeping it simple." It points out that the entire Alanon program is simple-- as the purpose is to help us iron out the rough spots and that can be done only one day at a time. It goes on to point out that each slogan, w...	hotrod	0	218	May 22, 2015 by hotrod
	tradition 9 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps and Traditions Work. Tradition nine has been posted to the Step Work Board.Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60246048/alanon-tradition-9/ Please share your thoughts	hotrod	0	601	May 21, 2015 by hotrod
	I think I did the right thing .. (Preview) Well .. I went ahead and let my XAH know he has the kids on Monday for Memorial Day and he's not said anything .. it is always up to the kids if they want to go however he needs to reach out to them. Now what he chooses to do with that information is on him. I'll be honest this benefits me far more than him. He's a...	SerenityRUS	1	361	May 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Crazy week! (Preview) Crazy crazy week .. kids are getting out of school and so on. Holiday week at work .. LOL .. that is insane putting it mildly. I threw my program out the window yesterday so now I'm going through the wreckage at the moment and trying to figure it all out Seriously, I know everyone is stressed beyond belie...	SerenityRUS	5	444	May 21, 2015 by andromeda
	Just saw my AW in the parking lot with the person she's having an affair with. Argh. I need help with comments... (Preview) Last month my AW left me. As I stated in other posts, she said she was "done" (ouch.) That I hadn't been attractive to her in years (Double ouch.) And that she was having an affair with someone I trusted and had invested in (Very, very ouch). Anyway, we all walked toward each other and I was o...	SpookyMulder	13	902	May 21, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Setting boundries (Preview) Hi everyone.. I'm new here, did some research on the subject of setting boundaries and found some interesting stuff from 10 years ago or so but none of the information I saw was particular to my situation so I thought I'd throw this out for the group to respond. I am a husband of a binge-type alcoholic who...	TxTycoon45	9	687	May 21, 2015 by jk17
	Minding my side of the street (Preview) This is my latest thing to work on. I have a hard time with that in regards to my AH. I notice that I get irritated when I hear him talking with his sponsor who he calls every day. Every day the sponsor has some issue in his life...I worry that he isn't a great influence for my AH and when I hear them discussing h...	Flower49	0	458	May 21, 2015 by Flower49
	ODAT reading 5-21 (Preview) ODAT reading for today describes my initial approach to working the alanon program. It points out that many times we are anxious to put the program to work and get instant results, so we run around asking for everybody's opinion and thinking that the more opinions we get, the better we will be. Today...	hotrod	2	412	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Pay it forward.... (Preview) HI all... I'm swamped and busy but it's good busy... my son is getting married and it's out of town for us so we have a trip coming up. Trying not to stress about it. Anyway last night at our meeting (I am leading it) something happened and I jumped into mommy mode for a young lady who was melting down... (...	ladybugnessa	5	547	May 21, 2015 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.