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A vent and babble.
(Preview)
This weekend was a long weekend here, for the Queens birthday or some such nonsense. Daughter had agreed to go to her fathers a few weeks ago and there was a lot of hoo-ha from him because I could not take her and said I would instead pick her up. And daughter decided she really didn't want to go and has been a...
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missmeliss
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4
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548
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rambling on ex
(Preview)
my ex partner has been calling and leaving many messages .. I have been hearing all the I still have feelings for you .. the I want us to be a family .. the I am willing to make big changes ... I have made big changes .. I have done some growing up .. I think we could be a family .. etc .. (if anyone remembers my shar...
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MeTwo2
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2
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432
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C2C 6-8
(Preview)
The. C2C reading for June 8 speaks about the Sixth Step:" Becoming entirely ready to have HP remove our defects of character." The reading goes on to indicate that many of us cherish our defects of character because they are negative tools that we developed to keep us safe. These tools cou...
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hotrod
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3
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441
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Worry & Fear - Something To Share
(Preview)
Found this yesterday on "Quote/Sharing", a Baton Rouge Al-Anon website, I was searching for something that would take the edge off of my fears of recurring cancer (had breast cancer 4 years ago and am going through my annual tests again) and thought I would share with you all because it is...
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Debb
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10
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1040
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How do You Decompress in Times of Insanity?
(Preview)
Hello Family :) Recently I have been Struggling with "A" Family issues, and Then it Dawned on me Why... I Wasn't staying in my Own Back Yard :/ Even when they Come and Dump on Me I Try to Listen and Show Compassion, and Sympathy However, even in Not Passing Judgment on their issues, I tend to Let...
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Jozie
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1
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431
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Dealing with your own addictive behaviors
(Preview)
I have been so pleased with myself for dodging the "obvious" addictions like drugs and alcohol, that I didn't even notice that I use other things, like television, exactly the same way an alcoholic uses drinking. That thought threw me for a bit - I am not supposed to be the addict! But I use TV...
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atheos
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8
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714
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ebook version of Paths to recovery and other CAL literature
(Preview)
Hi I was wondering if anyone knew how to get hold of an ebook version of Paths to recovery. I have tried searching the internet but have only found untrusted websites or ones that sign you up and then when you search for the book it doesn't exist. As my fingers are paralysed handling the paper copy is diffi...
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sc
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2
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4917
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Did I over reacted?
(Preview)
Had a situation today. ExAH sent me a txt this morning asking to have daughter for a sleep over on Monday after school. I explained to hi that she already had plans with a friend for Monday and she didn't want to cancel it. I reminded him that if he tell me as soon as he can the days he will be available to have d...
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Luiza
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3
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725
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Tradition 10
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Traditions and Steps Work. TRADITION 10 was posted to the Step Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60321188/alanon-tradition-10/ Please share your thoughts
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hotrod
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3
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1298
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Here I am again... found another bottle
(Preview)
I just found an empty bottle in the basement and feel lost. I thought my husband was doing well and not drinking. Now I don't know what to think. Things have been going so well that I don't want to talk about it but I can't stop thinking about it. I know I can't change him. So how do I change me in this situation...
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Alma Daigle
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4
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626
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feeling lost in the world
(Preview)
I was thinking today how much easier life would be if life was made up of more alanoners. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water. Making small talk at daughters gym class ( she's talented the mothers are mean) I just feel like ugh. I jumped with her and she banged her nose and started crying. I held her, un...
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a4l
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8
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751
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How early is it to intervene?
(Preview)
Hi I have been a member of Al-anon for many years on and off. I left my 1st husband when my son was 3 years old due to his inability to get help and stay sober. (My ex is living on the street in NYC or in the shelters) I built a life for my child and myself and we were doing well. I remarried in 2007 and there are s...
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chelsea girl 24
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3
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596
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This!!
(Preview)
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missmeliss
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6
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462
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c2C 6-6
(Preview)
C2C reading for 6-7 continues the discussion on the Steps. Today the meditation reviews Step 5: "Admitted to God to myself and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs " The reading explains that the answers for our lives lives within us. That many times the truth surfac...
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hotrod
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2
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453
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How do I stick to decisions I've made
(Preview)
My SO and I have been engaged for 22 years. I have basically refused to marry him because of the drinking even though I initially said yes when he asked me. He drank a ridiculous amount of beer, we are talking 12 to 18 beers every night until about a month ago. He throws ridiculous tantrums and screams a...
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JukuVee
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12
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755
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If you can't lick 'em...
(Preview)
All my and my AW's friends are A's. Much of my AW's family are A's. I unceremoniously dropped the whole gang about 6 months ago. No lecture, no speech, no big blow-up that THEY saw, (at home is a different story). There are only a few family members who's disease has had a negative effect on my life, and...
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almostThere
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15
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754
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The injustice of it all!
(Preview)
Found myself running the "best of" tape again just now. All of the greatest absurd arguments and unfounded accusations that my A has made, and not just my A - as far back as I can remember, being accused of something I didn't do, or being blamed for something I had no part in has made me very ang...
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almostThere
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5
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654
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"Animals" as a resource
(Preview)
I was hurt really badly several years ago now and have serious complications including chronic pain (yes I take medis and no I never abuse them). I found that reaching out to help someone or something else made me feel better so I wanted to share with others. i was concentrating only on me and the pain (B...
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Doingmybest
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2
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578
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Questions about co-morbidity...feedback appreciated! :-)
(Preview)
So I started a thread yesterday about seizures and asking if people had experienced that kind of thing with their alcoholics. I can honestly say that I am not interested in these ideas as a way of staying fixated on my ex (thanks, pinkchip, you are always very wise and discerning!). I am in academia as...
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SpookyMulder
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10
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669
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C2C 6-6
(Preview)
The C2C reading for today, June 6 speaks about our own unacceptable behavior. It points out the many times we excuse ourselves by claiming that we provoked or had no other choice for it wass someone else's fault. We also use the excuse that everybody does it--. So it's no big deal. This is called justif...
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hotrod
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1
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520
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Time to make lemonade.
(Preview)
I had some cruddy news yesterday. I had to have a minor surgery and I was a bit worried but also a little bit excited thinking it would be great to have this issue corrected at last as it has caused me a lot of angst for years now. Anyway the doctor was very concerned and gave me some very unexpected and unplea...
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missmeliss
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4
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719
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Not my baby...
(Preview)
My six year old son had some disturbing questions for me yesterday.
He has recently been more keenly aware of the fights my ah and I have. He is also totally aware of how one-sided they are. "Mommy how come when you fight it's just daddy yelling at you and you just telling him okay and you're sorry a...
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PennyJenny010115
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4
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601
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Now he "can control it"
(Preview)
Years ago, when some friends were trying to help me they took me to dinner with a friend of theirs who was a recovering A. I've never forgotten one thing she had said and that was, "The stage where he thinks he's in control of his drinking will be right before a major fall." Well apparently tha...
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Erikap723
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3
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606
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When does the heartbreak stop
(Preview)
So I found out tonight that my AH has been seeing another woman and talking to other women as well. I know that I'm done, and don't want back into the relationship but man this is like a swift kick to the gut. When I found all this information I had a blown panic attack and confronted him about it, and he ackno...
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Shanny
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16
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833
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so confused where I stand
(Preview)
I am confused with the recovery programs. I have been through the hell with my AH lying, stealing sleepless nights, detoxing, jail, etc. Once he enters the program I am pushed aside, told to come on visiting days write letters and find a good support group for myself. Once he enters the doors we are each...
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lostsoulmate
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6
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577
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Banging head against a wall...
(Preview)
My A.W was the recipient of a DWI felony w/child under 15 in May 2012. Trial Sep 2012 received 5 years probation and 2 1/2 years with interlock. Well for 2 1/2 years she has manipulated the system to her favor, acts like the "model" probationer 2-3 days before appearing in front of P.O then alw...
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TxTycoon45
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5
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475
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New member - lurking for about a month et
(Preview)
Hi all, Hello and THANK YOU to everyone! I feel I already know many of your since I have been lurking for several weeks now. I have gotten so much inspiration and gained so much from the posts here and the member shares. This board has been a life saver for me since I found it. I am the wife of an AH, the child...
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Doingmybest
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13
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733
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SEIZURES AND ALCOHOLISM - NEED ANSWERS, PLEASE
(Preview)
I just got through reading a thread where someone (sorry, I forgot who) was talking about their alcoholic spouse having a grand mal -- I realize from the reading in context this was a withdrawal thing... My ex AW had very recently quit drinking when we met. When we'd be asleep in bed she would have cycle...
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SpookyMulder
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12
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3830
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beating interlock device?
(Preview)
Does anybody know how ah is drinking at nite and can drive his car at 8am the next day to work? the device is very advanced and ultra sensitive.By the device, i mean the puffer interlock on his car that wont let him drive without passing his puff into it sober????
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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825
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Second Guessing and Fixing Everything
(Preview)
These two things seem to be the theme of my week and I'm struggling with moving past them but they seem to sit on my shoulders constantly whispering in my ear. My alcoholic father has been in the hospital after having been in a skilled nursing facility after a couple of falls at rehab. They're trying to fi...
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Mikhail
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5
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603
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Mistakes
(Preview)
I feel very stuck lately on a mistake I made. My husband and I have been house hunting for a very long time while we live in an apartment. We moved to a new area and are close to my son and his family. A house finally came up that would have worked out perfectly for us. When the time came to make an offer, the offe...
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Lainey
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9
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634
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no secrets
(Preview)
It feels so good to join the human race.I have been busy expanding my social network,making friends and enjoying life.I can invite friends in without the fear of being ashamed or worrying about what mood I will be walking into. A lot of my anxiety has gone away.I no longer live with a secret.I can do what...
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mjferg
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12
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755
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new here
(Preview)
Hi, I went to my first al-anon meeting the other night and will be continuing to do so.
My fiance is the alcoholic in my life. It has always been an issue for me over the past 3 years, but I learned to ignore it as it was just easier.
Now, since our engagement, I've realized I need the change. He wants kids,...
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Mak11
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8
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521
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C2C 6-5
(Preview)
C2C reading for today speaks about the Third step. This Step calls for turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as" we understood Him." We need to know that the destructive power of another's alcoholism has truly effected our lives , and we need the benevolent influence of a pow...
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hotrod
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2
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524
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Sign of a HP at work
(Preview)
My AH had an interesting thing happen last night at an AA meeting. He came home to tell me about it and seemed he knew his HP was working with him. He was on a break at the meeting when a guy came up to ask him for a light. My husband kind of recognized him and asked what he did for a living. He owns his own roofing c...
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Jazzie18
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3
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502
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literature
(Preview)
Hey guys this is all new to me. I did not know there was a group out there for me for help!!!! I have now gone to 4 meetings and have been blessed by each ones. The only thing that is missing is my literature is there anyone that knows of any place I can get books I dont care if they are used or not to help me when Im h...
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btrflykisses33
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7
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425
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I have asked for space finally!
(Preview)
my AH finally got To a physical point. Not on me but the air conditioner and the door to my toy room.nhe broke his umbrella in the process. This was the first time I truly felt unsafe. I have read so much and understand this is just the next evolution of the disease. I asked for space with this. Of course he ha...
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Lovejailed
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6
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534
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Daughter Stole Pain Pill should I confront?
(Preview)
I had one pain pill from my last surgery hidden. I just found out it is gone. My daughter took it sometime this week. Should I confront her? Previous post:>>I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again.I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brough...
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robinfl
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2
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618
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So integration begins...
(Preview)
1. People can't give you what they don't have!!! (Expectations) 2. Just because they don't give it doesn't mean you don't need it (Values & Standards) 3. If you need it, you deserve it. (Boundaries and Detaching with Love) 4. If we are taking/forcing it without free will (Control) 5. If we pretend...
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Truth
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8
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674
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C2C reading 6-4
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the Second Step and the possibilities of Hope that it engenders. The reading stresses the importance of making a small dent in the overwhelming armor of despair, so that we can show that we are willing to move in the direction of healing. It states that a little wi...
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hotrod
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7
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599
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AH going to AA meetings but still drinking
(Preview)
I am curious to know if anyone's qualifier goes to AA meetings but either drinks before they go or after they leave. Is this a normal thing? I am just so frustrated right now. I wanted to ask my husband why bother go to the meeting at all if you are either going their drunk or drink afterwards but I didn't...
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Jazzie18
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9
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515
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Sticking to the facts.
(Preview)
XAH is really working hard to rattle me. I have taken daughter there (the dreaded 8-10 hour train trip) every 2nd Friday for many years. Now I have decided that in winter, when it is dark early, it isn't safe for me to be catching trains late at night. The trip TO his house with daughter is OK safety-wise (a...
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missmeliss
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12
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1498
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SERENTITY...
(Preview)
In typing "serenity" today I made a typo and typed "serentity" instead. After I looked at it a monet I thought of the long discussions many of us have had lately about Higher Power -- "What is it? Do I have to have one to recover" "What if I don't believe in God?&qu...
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SpookyMulder
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6
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465
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I can't deal with the ridiculousness of this!
(Preview)
beware! I'm frustrated...don't say I didn't warn you. I've been minding my own business. I have not discussed alcohol or drinking with my AH since he started full-blown, all day-everyday drinking again. (Last month he actually stayed sober for a week and a half after his blood pressure went crazy h...
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Fairlee
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10
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699
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Al-Anon Schooled :/
(Preview)
I Love that i Can Learn new things here, and Adjust my Attitude along with my Actions, but I Still have Days I am Like Speaking to a Brick Wall... I have a Very Dear Al-Anon Friend that I Feel a Broke a boundry with, and She God Love her, is Only Worried about my Feeling in it all... I am a Gifter... :/ If I Am Out a...
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Jozie
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1
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463
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How to NOT respond to foolishness
(Preview)
I've become the scapegoat for my SO's family. I know that their faults with me are ridiculous, e.g. I did not offer to drive them to visit SO even though they did not pick up the phone when I called to talk about the visit. I am trying to disengage but it's hard to do because I can't avoid them, at least no...
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Bon
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23
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713
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My thoughts in words
(Preview)
My wife is in rehab now and Im trying to gather my thoughts into something cohesive but I don't know if it is too harsh, please give me some feedback " A glimpse from the other side of the mirror I've heard so much about concerns about family and friends rejecting many of you. I know you need to focu...
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jamky
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13
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673
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C2C 6-3
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 3 speaks about how easy it is to react to the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It appears that alcoholic uses arguments to provokes others in order to distract them from focusing on the real issue of drinking. We who live with the disease gets so caught up in the argume...
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hotrod
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1
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542
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Hope for Today June 2
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how many of us, before working the program, not only lived with a roller coaster ride of chaos but were addicted to it. I don't think I really understood that in some way I was seeking chaos out until I started to experience life without it on a daily basi...
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yanksfan51
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5
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497
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hi new here and feeling hopeful and scared
(Preview)
Hi everyone, so to begin I have been married for the past 16 years, and we have 5 children, I finally worked up enough courage and 6 weeks ago I left my AH who has addictions to marijauna and alcohol. It has been so extremely hard and I constantly second guess myself whether or not I have made the right decis...
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Shanny
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8
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528
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New problem: daughter having withdrawals
(Preview)
I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again. I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brought her to my house with a one year old daughter to help her "get well" because she was exhausted and in an abusive relationship. On the trip home I found ou...
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robinfl
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2
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353
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ODAT in Alanon 6-2 Resentment
(Preview)
Today's page in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon addresses resentment in a way that is particularly meaningful to me and my journey of recovery. The text acknowledges the we hear of the warnings about holding resentment many times while reading AlAnon literature. If I find myself struggling with resent...
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Enigmatic
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5
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1153
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Just saying...
(Preview)
I look back at all those long drawn out conversations where I was trying so hard to engage the alcoholic... most of the time I knew nothing was getting through and sometimes I would get angry and " act a fool" get so frustrated I would throw something at the wall or break something or find m...
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glad
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6
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514
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it has been a looong time.
(Preview)
As usual lately I have been short on time getting on this site. I guess I don't really prioritize this anymore. I do miss communicating w/ all of you though. I am not doing much of anything differently. I still am trying not to engage when it comes to my AH. He is still sober but sometimes he acts like a dry dr...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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350
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Voice in my head...
(Preview)
Okay so here it goes ... I think I am finally ready to share the voice in my head and it feels like my last internal struggle with my ex-A. I am sharing this hoping to get some feedback so I can move through this because I don't know what is mine and what was his. I still feel emotionally enmeshed on this and wou...
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Truth
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35
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579
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I have asked them to leave many times/ how to make them leave?
(Preview)
Hello, I have asked the boys to leave home and find somewhere else to live many times, they just wont go and I do not know how to get them out of the house. The police wont help and I have got no other adult support to back me up. There is also financial implications of the bedroom tax and getting evicted mysel...
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scoob09
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7
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665
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Scared and confused...
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new to this site, and I guess I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my ABF. Its been going on for almost 2 years now, and the past couple months he has been traveling for work, and says hes been sober. But when he comes home to visit, I just feel so much anxiety. I'm not really sure how to cope with...
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Vanity
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5
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473
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Not sure how to feel.
(Preview)
Hi all,
I'm not sure about my feelings right now, and I'd like some input. My father has been drinking for over 40 years. Over the past two years, it's progressively gotten much worse. He's quit rehab several times, gave up on AA after one meeting, and I'm not sure he's able to be helped. A bit over one we...
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phinatic514
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15
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961
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Brand New here - AH in Rehab for 4 days... what to expect?
(Preview)
AH has been abusing marijuana and Alcohol for as long as I have known him and for many years before that. When we met, we were in the party scene but never did hard drugs so I guess I never thought it was a big deal. Fast forward 17 years, 2 kids later I'm no longer in the party scene, he still is and is drinkin...
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Nouvelle
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4
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8123
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Some stuff I thought about giving advice.
(Preview)
There is a post on the board about drinking whilst being a member of al-anon and whether or not that is hypocritical etc. And it details a situation where a spouse is complaining about their drinking partner whilst drinking heavily themselves. It brings up a lot for me. I started to write a response and...
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missmeliss
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19
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809
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