Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Koko · Koko

My ex Ah /ACOA and I were married 18 years and have a beautiful son. We divorced almost 5 years ago. I finally gave up.. Four different counsellors in the last eight years of the marriage and the constant fighting.... He did not want the divorce. But his drinking created Jekyll and Hyde at home... He o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had some thoughts about how it must be difficult. Then I thought my thoughts were stupid so I deleted them. I was just thinking, being gay would add an element of "proving yourself". Like people would challenge your feelings in the first place so it would make it extra hard to leave a relat...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, June 13 reflects on my favorite step-- Step 11. I know it is suggested that these steps be worked in order, however when I entered program Steps four and five seemed so overwhelming that I jumped immediately to Step 11, which suggests that we:"Seek through prayer and...

texasgal · texasgal

It has been awhile since I have logged in and for the most part I have been doing well. I had to stop internet for a bit so that I could pay some things. Which leads me to my resentfulness. My ex never paid for the lawyer for the divorce and gave me the run around. I had to wait 6 months in my new county and I fi...

almostThere · almostThere

Odd. MisMeliss posts a youtube video and I came on to do just the same thing! Must be music day. I have a wide range of musical interests, but I'm sure the heavy end of my taste runs afoul of most on this board. I'm going to post this anyway. I'm ALWAYS the DJ at the party (or used to be). We have a thumpin' sound...

Debb · Debb

This was the most important step for me to accomplish ... it definitely was the key to my mental and spiritual survival ...........Step 4 helps us learn that the 4 M's are not a productive way to cope with an "A":Martyrdom Manipulating Managing Mothering How do/did I try to manipula...

chelsea girl 24 · chelsea girl 24

Hi Everyone, My son went to see his doctor. My son was in a place where he could listen. He is back on his medication and seems ready to move ahead. I am not so naive to think that everything is over. There is a lot of work to be done. However, first things first he is on the right path. As for me I am going to a...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

So, with the help of his addiction counselor, my husband set a date for quitting drinking. It was last Friday. Since then, he has admitted to me that he had two beers on Sunday and one on Tuesday . I know that's not exactly encouraging, but considering how much he was drinking before, it may be a decent...

almostThere · almostThere

Trying to make my recovery more proactive. Let's see...gratitude and assets... Hot Shower Clean towel Clean clothes Cinnebon Rolls #1 and #2 A job Lots of Sunshine My kids My dogs Air conditioning DoingMyBest's Vacation MIP Internet The little Money I Have Most bills are paid Quiet Increasing numb...

el-cee · el-cee

Debb · Debb

DETACH: Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...

madisonnw · madisonnw

hard-to-define-friend-sort-of-significant-other-who-is-healthy-and-so-accepting

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My AH is on another bender. Things seemed rather under control until Tuesday night after I went to bed and then he drank himself silly. He turned on the front house lights and started banging around outside at 11:30 PM or so. I was in and out of sleep, with the light shining through our window. Finall...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and making it part of our daily routine. This is the Step that asks that we" continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it" . The meditation points out that this Step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take ca...

almostThere · almostThere

Hoping to hear from anyone who has managed to restore love, trust and intimacy to a damaged relationship when both get help. I'm sure they are out there, but unfortunately they probably no longer feel the need to visit this board. I wish they would.

almostThere · almostThere

I was really grateful for the first one and thanked my HP through the whole experience. I was still grateful for the 2nd one and made sure to express gratitude for the over abundance of breakfast opportunity in my life. The 3rd one...not so much. My study and meditation for the day will be on the word HAL...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi all, Today is is a make lemonade day...I am thankfully feeling somewhat better from being given some kind of horrible shots (not the Ned's they were supposed to contain!!!) by a pain mgt dr. I have some quite limiting medical issues that require med use and pain is a constant and horrible companion...

almostThere · almostThere

My son went to a GSA party today - that's Gay-Straight Alliance. It's a club that meets to provide support and fellowship among the 2 and they just kind of work to foster acceptance and stem homophobia, bullying, harassment, etc. He and his sister have been in the club for a few years. They were makin...

Debb · Debb

"My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free." TGIF!! {{HUGS}}

madisonnw · madisonnw

struggling today, but trying to just walk one step at a time. was in al-anon for about a year and a half or so, three years ago. had a spiritual awakening that scared the wits out of me and instead of facing the fear i fled from the program and the state in which i was living, back into my parents arms and subse...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been dating for a few weeks now and its been fun. Ive met a couple of guys i hit it off with. Ive been chatting to a guy for a while now, hes pretty cheeky, forward, flirty, funny. We met up and hit it off and saw each other every day almost for the last couple of weeks. Very early days but i quite like him. The...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

I was invited to a CODA meeting by a dear friend, who feels I would get a lot out of it. Is CODA part of or associated in any way with Al-Anon? What are its pros and cons? Thanks for any feedback!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, June 11 speaks about Step Nine. This Step asks that we; "make direct amends to those we have harmed" . These are the people that we identified in Step Eight. The reading suggests that if we have worked Step Eight, and become truly willing to make amends, HP will p...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family.... Still Feeling a Bit Battered from Yesterday, but I have decided to Pull up the Big Girl Pants and Accessorize... So Today I have On My Ring that says (ALL things are Possible thru He who Strengthens Me), My "How Important is It?" Bracelet... and My "Hope, Faith, &...

Alma Daigle · Alma Daigle

I am taking our girls for a two week trip while my husband works overtime. He has a drinking problem and is dealing with it by not drinking. A few weeks ago he was three days short of two months without alcohol. I was so proud of him for going such a long stretch and then I felt so upset that it came to an end. He i...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi friends-Most days I do pretty well with coping, using my alanon tools, not getting dragged down into the old stuff, but I guess there is just too much stress right now for me to do well. And yes, this is just for today because I know tomorrow will probably be better. I felt like reaching out to you guys...

glad · glad

I've not felt like the best version of myself the last few days, worries about things I can't control- I'm not really present. There are several things going on I'll mention one at this time. I think my feelings are about my lack of ability to navigate social situations, when to stand up for myself and...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey Family ... Just Feeling Deflated today... Not Sure if it is just Life In General or if Something will Surface in the Sharing but at this Point I'm Willing to at Least Try Something.... As Some Know I found my AGram 3 yrs ago and she had a Stroke on Mothers Day.. Today she is Thank God still with Me, and soo...

OhCanadia · OhCanadia

For the last 4 years, ever since I met my A I've been hoping and hoping he'd get better. We got engaged almost 2 years ago and I just kept putting it off telling him that it wouldn't happen until he got better. 2 weeks ago I left the country as a last ditch effort to make him see that he needs help. And as of today...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I get that my AH is working through his program and I hope for nothing more than the best for him as he navigates these uncharted waters, but where is my husband when I need him? We have three children who need to be cared for, loved, and guided. My husband has become completely hands off. He even goes as fa...

JukuVee · JukuVee

He usually drinks beer and says he has quit. he was drinking some weird orange soda and now I think he was just filling those bottles with Smirnoff cocktails instead. I found the empty bottles that he tried to hide. He'll just deny it if I confront him but it really pisses me off that he thinks I am so stupid...

JukuVee · JukuVee

I have been on this site reading stuff and wonder if Alanon can really help me if I am not sure that I believe in God or a higher power. I am not a religious person and tho I would like to be able to believe in God I have never been able to fully do that. I am good with everything except the trust the higher power t...

Tracy6533 · Tracy6533

Hi everyone. I am new to the forums but not new to alcoholism. My husband has been an alcoholic throughout our whole 16 year marriage. 8 Weeks ago he decided that he had had enough and checked himself into a treatment facility. I was so happy that finally things would get better for him,for us and for our f...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It really should. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmckWVPRaI

gabigail · gabigail

Oh, it's the Jekyll and Hyde thing again, and it took me by surprise last night. Unfortunately it is all I could think of/ focus on, and I'm having a hard time letting go. Which is scaring me because I'm afraid I'm sabotaging a job interview I have today because my focus is on my A. My A borrows my car 2 days a w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had a phone conversation with ABF tonight. We talk every few days and I have to say, he's been doing well (according to my definition of well) for months now. He calls, we talk, he's kind of meek if anything and very respectful. He hasn't shown any signs of unpleasantness for ages not is he pushy. I last s...

littlelionman · littlelionman

For most of my 13 years with my AW I had undiagnosed ADD. After being diagnosed 2 years ago and learning about the condition, I realized how similar it is to being with an alcoholic in terms of relationship issues. It's so much more than just being forgetful, just like being an alcoholic is so much more...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I am grateful for this program and for all of you who are in the trenches with me. I've learned invaluable lessons on this forum. Today we ( AH and me ) had an "ah-ha" moment. After 4 years of marriage he says that he feels as if he's on the outside looking in. AH is approaching 5 mos sobriety t...

mjferg · mjferg

When I was a child I would spend hours alone in my room,writing poems and doing artwork.I would imagine wonderful worlds far away that I could visit and enjoy.I was very creative.In my English class, we were given a writing assignment, and today my instructor blew me away.She said,"Mary you hav...

Tracy · Tracy

I found out today An old timer has died he was my buddy. He was old enough to be my grandad, he was my all anon grandad From my family of choice . I gave him lifts to conventions and home from meetings I am gutted. But everytieme I think of him I smile. He married two alcoholics in his time. His favourite saying...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

When I look back at the things I lived through in my A home and the things my wonderful daughter has has to live with (from my craziness and obsession) to her father's addiction, it makes me sick. I have only ever wanted to be the best mother possible to my daughter. She is the only one I have (I lost 4 Befor...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH really hit bottom (which I think is bottom but really it isn't my business and he really needs to decide if it is or not) this week. On Monday he stayed home from work and proceeded to drink the entire day. He doesn't remember anything and just passed out. The scary part for me was that he was drivin...

Wife · Wife

Hi All, I'm new to this, so not really sure how it works. But I could really use some guidance and support. I've been married to the man of my dreams for the past 10 years. He's an amazing husband, father and friend. Right after the financial recession of 2008, we started struggling financially, and he s...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I know that it is my own stubbornness and hard-headedness that have made my journey longer and more painful, but I'm grateful now that I've experienced a bit of progress lately since I retired and started attending more meetings and devoting more time to my own recovery - that I was powerless was alway...

Truth · Truth

So I have effectively put even more distance between my ex-A and I by getting a person to do my correspondence for child related issues. I also requested that he get someone on his side. This has been happening for two months now. It has been exactly what I needed. He has tried to go around the arrangement...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 10 continues the discussion on the Steps. Today it reviews the Eight step, which asked that we "make a list of all persons we had harmed The reading goes on to indicate that many of us are stumped by this step because we do not believe we have ever harmed anybody, and becaus...

Debb · Debb

More of the same gets more of the same. What we were given to practice, we practiced. What we practiced, we became. What we became, we are continuing to become - only more so - every day of our lives. We can do ourselves a favor by being aware of what we practice. Has the past taught us to withdraw? Think of h...

mjferg · mjferg

There are a couple of women in one of my classes that don't get along well,I don't know what the underlying issue is ,but you can feel the tension between them when they are in the room.Yesterday there was a big blowup between them.They started arguing and yelling,it was close to getting physical! My he...

Skorpi · Skorpi

My dad was here today. Got his *our! dog. I am struggling, made 5 calls. No one on the other end. doesn|| mean no one is listening

mjferg · mjferg

I have posted quite a bit and I have always tried to focus on positive things,but this has been a very heartbreaking journey for me and I have cried and struggled through it.I can tell that I am finally coming out of this darkness that I have been in.I am able to experience a much broader range of emotions...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Work up this morning feeling excited, confident and healthy...what a great feeling. I went for what maybe my final cat scan yesterday afternoon so that we can get a look at the condition of my brain since the last surgery. I feel great!! and now have to find some thing to use this new energy on. Any...

almostThere · almostThere

So, my recovery is in its infancy, but on the right track. I managed to sneak out to another meeting last night and have been going any of the 4 groups in this area any time I can get away with it. It shows in our home lately. I've managed to avoid conflict and keep, if not a sunny disposition, at least an on...

missmeliss · missmeliss

More nonsense from XAH today. I woke up to messages telling me he expects daughter there for the next 2 weekends as he has "missed out on 3". I don't know what that means as she's been visiting every 2 weeks lately and I also don't think it's right to wake me with messages circa 5am. However I kno...

JukuVee · JukuVee

he said he would quit drinking but he is just telling me what I want to hear. I don't know why I thought he would come through for me this time. I thought being in the mental ward was a slap in the face wake up call but he's just going through the motions. That's all he's ever done. He had a gig at the county fair y...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's HFT reading is about the ability, with the help of program tools and the strength of our HP, to speak our minds directly in a meaningful way. This reading begins with a description of how it was for someone when he/she first came to Alanon. There was a fear about saying w...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

I just wanted to drop a line to those living in small town USA where locating Al-Anon groups can be difficult. Last night AH asked his sponsor about my dilemma in finding an appropriate ff meeting. Naturally the first suggestion wa she one I attended for a while, but did not mesh well with. The sponsor...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

A dear friend of mine that also moved away from our tiny little township told me yesterday that my exAH may be dating a very close old friend of mine that I stopped being friends with before I moved due to I was out of the party scene and raising kids and she continued to party with my husband and hers as well....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w/ this topic obviously. I don't feel that I am being heard enough. I can't seem to focus my attention on anything else this moment. I thought popularity ended in high school. Am I that offensive or misleading? All I really want is a good life. I am not sure if I am just overreacting? I even s...

almostThere · almostThere

The late, great Stevie Ray Vaughan was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with his band Double Trouble. SRV suffered for many years with drug and alcohol dependency, and like most creatives, was deeply concerned that letting go of his addiction would result in the loss of his creati...

el-cee · el-cee

Living almost 20 yrs with an alcoholic meant I suppressed many things, I'm sure you can relate. I suppressed emotions like anger and I suppressed many of my needs until I no longer needed them. After a short time in Alanon, anger started seeping out of me, almost uncontrollable anger. It came out in a ru...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Grief or WHAT? (Preview) My ex Ah /ACOA and I were married 18 years and have a beautiful son. We divorced almost 5 years ago. I finally gave up.. Four different counsellors in the last eight years of the marriage and the constant fighting.... He did not want the divorce. But his drinking created Jekyll and Hyde at home... He o...	Koko	22	729	Jun 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	My thoughts on being LGBT in al-anon (Preview) I had some thoughts about how it must be difficult. Then I thought my thoughts were stupid so I deleted them. I was just thinking, being gay would add an element of "proving yourself". Like people would challenge your feelings in the first place so it would make it extra hard to leave a relat...	missmeliss	6	1258	Jun 14, 2015 by pinkchip
	C2C 6-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, June 13 reflects on my favorite step-- Step 11. I know it is suggested that these steps be worked in order, however when I entered program Steps four and five seemed so overwhelming that I jumped immediately to Step 11, which suggests that we:"Seek through prayer and...	hotrod	8	611	Jun 14, 2015 by Debb
	Resentful toward exAH (Preview) It has been awhile since I have logged in and for the most part I have been doing well. I had to stop internet for a bit so that I could pay some things. Which leads me to my resentfulness. My ex never paid for the lawyer for the divorce and gave me the run around. I had to wait 6 months in my new county and I fi...	texasgal	6	557	Jun 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	A sobering performance (Preview) Odd. MisMeliss posts a youtube video and I came on to do just the same thing! Must be music day. I have a wide range of musical interests, but I'm sure the heavy end of my taste runs afoul of most on this board. I'm going to post this anyway. I'm ALWAYS the DJ at the party (or used to be). We have a thumpin' sound...	almostThere	11	777	Jun 13, 2015 by missmeliss
	The 4 M’s - Step 4 (Preview) This was the most important step for me to accomplish ... it definitely was the key to my mental and spiritual survival ...........Step 4 helps us learn that the 4 M's are not a productive way to cope with an "A":Martyrdom Manipulating Managing Mothering How do/did I try to manipula...	Debb	7	2824	Jun 13, 2015 by Jerry F
	My son is back on track (Preview) Hi Everyone, My son went to see his doctor. My son was in a place where he could listen. He is back on his medication and seems ready to move ahead. I am not so naive to think that everything is over. There is a lot of work to be done. However, first things first he is on the right path. As for me I am going to a...	chelsea girl 24	2	347	Jun 13, 2015 by hotrod
	He's in recovery...sort of (Preview) So, with the help of his addiction counselor, my husband set a date for quitting drinking. It was last Friday. Since then, he has admitted to me that he had two beers on Sunday and one on Tuesday . I know that's not exactly encouraging, but considering how much he was drinking before, it may be a decent...	Smiley99	3	665	Jun 13, 2015 by pinkchip
	A Quick study then off to work (Preview) Trying to make my recovery more proactive. Let's see...gratitude and assets... Hot Shower Clean towel Clean clothes Cinnebon Rolls #1 and #2 A job Lots of Sunshine My kids My dogs Air conditioning DoingMyBest's Vacation MIP Internet The little Money I Have Most bills are paid Quiet Increasing numb...	almostThere	7	625	Jun 13, 2015 by Quakeroat
	For you.... (Preview)	el-cee	3	477	Jun 12, 2015 by Jerry F
	Detachment ... One Day At A Time (Preview) DETACH: Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...	Debb	11	1702	Jun 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	baby steps. (Preview) hard-to-define-friend-sort-of-significant-other-who-is-healthy-and-so-accepting	madisonnw	4	531	Jun 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Acting like nothing happened... (Preview) My AH is on another bender. Things seemed rather under control until Tuesday night after I went to bed and then he drank himself silly. He turned on the front house lights and started banging around outside at 11:30 PM or so. I was in and out of sleep, with the light shining through our window. Finall...	Bethany66	15	640	Jun 12, 2015 by el-cee
	C2C 6-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 12 speaks about the 10th step and making it part of our daily routine. This is the Step that asks that we" continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it" . The meditation points out that this Step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take ca...	hotrod	2	471	Jun 12, 2015 by Debb
	spousal relationship success stories? (Preview) Hoping to hear from anyone who has managed to restore love, trust and intimacy to a damaged relationship when both get help. I'm sure they are out there, but unfortunately they probably no longer feel the need to visit this board. I wish they would.	almostThere	12	762	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	This morning I was grateful for Grands Cinnabon Rolls (Preview) I was really grateful for the first one and thanked my HP through the whole experience. I was still grateful for the 2nd one and made sure to express gratitude for the over abundance of breakfast opportunity in my life. The 3rd one...not so much. My study and meditation for the day will be on the word HAL...	almostThere	2	369	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	First real vacation in 20 years...wish us luck!!! (Preview) Hi all, Today is is a make lemonade day...I am thankfully feeling somewhat better from being given some kind of horrible shots (not the Ned's they were supposed to contain!!!) by a pain mgt dr. I have some quite limiting medical issues that require med use and pain is a constant and horrible companion...	Doingmybest	4	536	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	HA! Kids say I said the darnest things! (Preview) My son went to a GSA party today - that's Gay-Straight Alliance. It's a club that meets to provide support and fellowship among the 2 and they just kind of work to foster acceptance and stem homophobia, bullying, harassment, etc. He and his sister have been in the club for a few years. They were makin...	almostThere	7	585	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	My Freedom (Preview) "My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitude and feelings. If I am always reacting then I an never free." TGIF!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	3	362	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	first post. (Preview) struggling today, but trying to just walk one step at a time. was in al-anon for about a year and a half or so, three years ago. had a spiritual awakening that scared the wits out of me and instead of facing the fear i fled from the program and the state in which i was living, back into my parents arms and subse...	madisonnw	8	593	Jun 12, 2015 by Jozie
	met someone, another alcoholic!!!!! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Ive been dating for a few weeks now and its been fun. Ive met a couple of guys i hit it off with. Ive been chatting to a guy for a while now, hes pretty cheeky, forward, flirty, funny. We met up and hit it off and saw each other every day almost for the last couple of weeks. Very early days but i quite like him. The...	el-cee	45	1536	Jun 12, 2015 by karma13
	CODA and AL-ANON..? (Preview) I was invited to a CODA meeting by a dear friend, who feels I would get a lot out of it. Is CODA part of or associated in any way with Al-Anon? What are its pros and cons? Thanks for any feedback!	SpookyMulder	7	605	Jun 11, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	C2C 6-11 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, June 11 speaks about Step Nine. This Step asks that we; "make direct amends to those we have harmed" . These are the people that we identified in Step Eight. The reading suggests that if we have worked Step Eight, and become truly willing to make amends, HP will p...	hotrod	6	585	Jun 11, 2015 by Debb
	Al-Anon Armor ON.... (Preview) Hello Family.... Still Feeling a Bit Battered from Yesterday, but I have decided to Pull up the Big Girl Pants and Accessorize... So Today I have On My Ring that says (ALL things are Possible thru He who Strengthens Me), My "How Important is It?" Bracelet... and My "Hope, Faith, &...	Jozie	3	526	Jun 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do I stop worrying (Preview) I am taking our girls for a two week trip while my husband works overtime. He has a drinking problem and is dealing with it by not drinking. A few weeks ago he was three days short of two months without alcohol. I was so proud of him for going such a long stretch and then I felt so upset that it came to an end. He i...	Alma Daigle	7	1013	Jun 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	not emotionally balanced (Preview) Hi friends-Most days I do pretty well with coping, using my alanon tools, not getting dragged down into the old stuff, but I guess there is just too much stress right now for me to do well. And yes, this is just for today because I know tomorrow will probably be better. I felt like reaching out to you guys...	Lyne	4	521	Jun 11, 2015 by almostThere
	I'm not myself- here's a rant ugh! (Preview) I've not felt like the best version of myself the last few days, worries about things I can't control- I'm not really present. There are several things going on I'll mention one at this time. I think my feelings are about my lack of ability to navigate social situations, when to stand up for myself and...	glad	4	573	Jun 11, 2015 by glad
	Waiting on the Last String to SNAP.... (Preview) Hey Family ... Just Feeling Deflated today... Not Sure if it is just Life In General or if Something will Surface in the Sharing but at this Point I'm Willing to at Least Try Something.... As Some Know I found my AGram 3 yrs ago and she had a Stroke on Mothers Day.. Today she is Thank God still with Me, and soo...	Jozie	6	678	Jun 11, 2015 by Jozie
	Recovery (Preview) For the last 4 years, ever since I met my A I've been hoping and hoping he'd get better. We got engaged almost 2 years ago and I just kept putting it off telling him that it wouldn't happen until he got better. 2 weeks ago I left the country as a last ditch effort to make him see that he needs help. And as of today...	OhCanadia	6	435	Jun 11, 2015 by glad
	Husband or Roommate (Preview) I get that my AH is working through his program and I hope for nothing more than the best for him as he navigates these uncharted waters, but where is my husband when I need him? We have three children who need to be cared for, loved, and guided. My husband has become completely hands off. He even goes as fa...	EarlyBird	9	713	Jun 11, 2015 by Quakeroat
	Should I tell him I found empty bottles (Preview) He usually drinks beer and says he has quit. he was drinking some weird orange soda and now I think he was just filling those bottles with Smirnoff cocktails instead. I found the empty bottles that he tried to hide. He'll just deny it if I confront him but it really pisses me off that he thinks I am so stupid...	JukuVee	19	1935	Jun 11, 2015 by gabigail
	Is God really necessary for recovery? (Preview) I have been on this site reading stuff and wonder if Alanon can really help me if I am not sure that I believe in God or a higher power. I am not a religious person and tho I would like to be able to believe in God I have never been able to fully do that. I am good with everything except the trust the higher power t...	JukuVee	26	1043	Jun 11, 2015 by Quakeroat
	I expected too much I guess..... (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to the forums but not new to alcoholism. My husband has been an alcoholic throughout our whole 16 year marriage. 8 Weeks ago he decided that he had had enough and checked himself into a treatment facility. I was so happy that finally things would get better for him,for us and for our f...	Tracy6533	6	674	Jun 11, 2015 by Dave2554
	This song should be a sticky. (Preview) It really should. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmckWVPRaI	missmeliss	2	312	Jun 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Wish I had fair warning (Preview) Oh, it's the Jekyll and Hyde thing again, and it took me by surprise last night. Unfortunately it is all I could think of/ focus on, and I'm having a hard time letting go. Which is scaring me because I'm afraid I'm sabotaging a job interview I have today because my focus is on my A. My A borrows my car 2 days a w...	gabigail	18	873	Jun 11, 2015 by gabigail
	Thoughts on agreeing to stuff when people are drunk. (Preview) I had a phone conversation with ABF tonight. We talk every few days and I have to say, he's been doing well (according to my definition of well) for months now. He calls, we talk, he's kind of meek if anything and very respectful. He hasn't shown any signs of unpleasantness for ages not is he pushy. I last s...	missmeliss	6	570	Jun 11, 2015 by almostThere
	Anyone else with ADHD? (Preview) For most of my 13 years with my AW I had undiagnosed ADD. After being diagnosed 2 years ago and learning about the condition, I realized how similar it is to being with an alcoholic in terms of relationship issues. It's so much more than just being forgetful, just like being an alcoholic is so much more...	littlelionman	11	842	Jun 11, 2015 by almostThere
	New Awareness is a double edged sword (Preview) I am grateful for this program and for all of you who are in the trenches with me. I've learned invaluable lessons on this forum. Today we ( AH and me ) had an "ah-ha" moment. After 4 years of marriage he says that he feels as if he's on the outside looking in. AH is approaching 5 mos sobriety t...	LedfootJenny	6	713	Jun 11, 2015 by Quakeroat
	Finding Mary Jane! (Preview) When I was a child I would spend hours alone in my room,writing poems and doing artwork.I would imagine wonderful worlds far away that I could visit and enjoy.I was very creative.In my English class, we were given a writing assignment, and today my instructor blew me away.She said,"Mary you hav...	mjferg	3	617	Jun 10, 2015 by Jill
	Flying carpet (Preview) I found out today An old timer has died he was my buddy. He was old enough to be my grandad, he was my all anon grandad From my family of choice . I gave him lifts to conventions and home from meetings I am gutted. But everytieme I think of him I smile. He married two alcoholics in his time. His favourite saying...	Tracy	7	564	Jun 10, 2015 by Jozie
	How do we help the children we have damaged? (Preview) When I look back at the things I lived through in my A home and the things my wonderful daughter has has to live with (from my craziness and obsession) to her father's addiction, it makes me sick. I have only ever wanted to be the best mother possible to my daughter. She is the only one I have (I lost 4 Befor...	Doingmybest	18	833	Jun 10, 2015 by karma13
	So sad seeing someone you love hurting (Preview) My AH really hit bottom (which I think is bottom but really it isn't my business and he really needs to decide if it is or not) this week. On Monday he stayed home from work and proceeded to drink the entire day. He doesn't remember anything and just passed out. The scary part for me was that he was drivin...	Jazzie18	2	2205	Jun 10, 2015 by mjferg
	happy and worried (Preview) Hi All, I'm new to this, so not really sure how it works. But I could really use some guidance and support. I've been married to the man of my dreams for the past 10 years. He's an amazing husband, father and friend. Right after the financial recession of 2008, we started struggling financially, and he s...	Wife	6	605	Jun 10, 2015 by hotrod
	STILL having problems with acceptance and faith (Preview) I know that it is my own stubbornness and hard-headedness that have made my journey longer and more painful, but I'm grateful now that I've experienced a bit of progress lately since I retired and started attending more meetings and devoting more time to my own recovery - that I was powerless was alway...	texas yankee	11	633	Jun 10, 2015 by texas yankee
	Grateful (Preview) So I have effectively put even more distance between my ex-A and I by getting a person to do my correspondence for child related issues. I also requested that he get someone on his side. This has been happening for two months now. It has been exactly what I needed. He has tried to go around the arrangement...	Truth	2	473	Jun 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 6=10 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 10 continues the discussion on the Steps. Today it reviews the Eight step, which asked that we "make a list of all persons we had harmed The reading goes on to indicate that many of us are stumped by this step because we do not believe we have ever harmed anybody, and becaus...	hotrod	1	407	Jun 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	I Pray For The Wisdom To See The Future (Preview) More of the same gets more of the same. What we were given to practice, we practiced. What we practiced, we became. What we became, we are continuing to become - only more so - every day of our lives. We can do ourselves a favor by being aware of what we practice. Has the past taught us to withdraw? Think of h...	Debb	3	403	Jun 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	dealing with aggression (Preview) There are a couple of women in one of my classes that don't get along well,I don't know what the underlying issue is ,but you can feel the tension between them when they are in the room.Yesterday there was a big blowup between them.They started arguing and yelling,it was close to getting physical! My he...	mjferg	3	631	Jun 10, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	crickets (Preview) My dad was here today. Got his *our! dog. I am struggling, made 5 calls. No one on the other end. doesn\|\| mean no one is listening	Skorpi	8	657	Jun 9, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	my depression is finally lifting! (Preview) I have posted quite a bit and I have always tried to focus on positive things,but this has been a very heartbreaking journey for me and I have cried and struggled through it.I can tell that I am finally coming out of this darkness that I have been in.I am able to experience a much broader range of emotions...	mjferg	4	537	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Waiting for the news.... (Preview) Work up this morning feeling excited, confident and healthy...what a great feeling. I went for what maybe my final cat scan yesterday afternoon so that we can get a look at the condition of my brain since the last surgery. I feel great!! and now have to find some thing to use this new energy on. Any...	Jerry F	9	531	Jun 9, 2015 by almostThere
	The Ol Gang (Preview) So, my recovery is in its infancy, but on the right track. I managed to sneak out to another meeting last night and have been going any of the 4 groups in this area any time I can get away with it. It shows in our home lately. I've managed to avoid conflict and keep, if not a sunny disposition, at least an on...	almostThere	16	649	Jun 9, 2015 by Mattie
	Just keep swimming. (Preview) More nonsense from XAH today. I woke up to messages telling me he expects daughter there for the next 2 weekends as he has "missed out on 3". I don't know what that means as she's been visiting every 2 weeks lately and I also don't think it's right to wake me with messages circa 5am. However I kno...	missmeliss	2	532	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	I was feeling hopeful but now I just feel stupid (Preview) he said he would quit drinking but he is just telling me what I want to hear. I don't know why I thought he would come through for me this time. I thought being in the mental ward was a slap in the face wake up call but he's just going through the motions. That's all he's ever done. He had a gig at the county fair y...	JukuVee	6	675	Jun 9, 2015 by JukuVee
	Hope for Today June 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's HFT reading is about the ability, with the help of program tools and the strength of our HP, to speak our minds directly in a meaningful way. This reading begins with a description of how it was for someone when he/she first came to Alanon. There was a fear about saying w...	yanksfan51	3	491	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	AA sponsor helping to locate Al-Anon resources (Preview) I just wanted to drop a line to those living in small town USA where locating Al-Anon groups can be difficult. Last night AH asked his sponsor about my dilemma in finding an appropriate ff meeting. Naturally the first suggestion wa she one I attended for a while, but did not mesh well with. The sponsor...	Doingmybest	1	401	Jun 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	My exAH is dating an old friend of mine.... (Preview) A dear friend of mine that also moved away from our tiny little township told me yesterday that my exAH may be dating a very close old friend of mine that I stopped being friends with before I moved due to I was out of the party scene and raising kids and she continued to party with my husband and hers as well....	Breakingfree	2	499	Jun 9, 2015 by yanksfan51
	sometimes I feel that life is a popularity contest! (Preview) I am struggling w/ this topic obviously. I don't feel that I am being heard enough. I can't seem to focus my attention on anything else this moment. I thought popularity ended in high school. Am I that offensive or misleading? All I really want is a good life. I am not sure if I am just overreacting? I even s...	Hoot Nanny	10	534	Jun 8, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Hall(s) of Fame (Preview) The late, great Stevie Ray Vaughan was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with his band Double Trouble. SRV suffered for many years with drug and alcohol dependency, and like most creatives, was deeply concerned that letting go of his addiction would result in the loss of his creati...	almostThere	5	623	Jun 8, 2015 by Dave2554
	Sex and my journey (Preview) Living almost 20 yrs with an alcoholic meant I suppressed many things, I'm sure you can relate. I suppressed emotions like anger and I suppressed many of my needs until I no longer needed them. After a short time in Alanon, anger started seeping out of me, almost uncontrollable anger. It came out in a ru...	el-cee	9	681	Jun 8, 2015 by el-cee
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