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Alcoholism and hoarding. how do I get rid of the clutter
(Preview)
i have always been a bit of a clutter bug, but never to the extreme that my AH has taken it. He has managed to trash our entire house and yard except for a few small areas that I rule like the portion of our yard where my koi pond and chickens live, my side of the bedroom and the kitchen, and he refuses to let me g...
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JukuVee
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15
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2558
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ODAT 7-9
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for July 9 speaks about self-pity and the ability of this particular emotion to entrench itself in our minds and keep us miserable.The reading points out that self-pity comes from concentrating on the negative aspects of life . It then goes on to dissect self-pity and points o...
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hotrod
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7
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405
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Oh.
(Preview)
Tomorrow, as I may have mentioned once or twice, is ABF and my birthday. So after big plans went south we settled on a smaller plan of a movie and dinner and I was having mixed feelings about it, because yes I want to see him but no I don't want to deal with drunky and he's been that guy a lot lately. So on one han...
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missmeliss
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9
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632
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tried something and it worked!
(Preview)
Good morning all! Last night I tried something a little different w AH. He was buzzing and wasn't in his hyper mood with it but rather seemed a little frustrated. Not alot but just seemed like if he would've drank more b4 going to bed that he would've been in one of those condescending tone drunks. So ever...
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beacheemom
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7
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375
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I am being blackmailed!
(Preview)
Well some of you know my ongoing saga with a corrupt landlady.I was renting a mobile home from her and decided to buy one in the same mobile home park,She tells people here to only sell to her because she wants the rent and when they don't she gets mad.my thinking was I wouldn't have any more problems with h...
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mjferg
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2
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291
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It'd be nice to just speak plainly.
(Preview)
I really had to shake my head tonight and make a decision to do something differently. I'm not sure what or how, exactly, but...something. There's this ridiculous dynamic of dishonesty and game-playing between my myself, my grandmother and my mother and it's so tiring. Here's today's example. My...
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missmeliss
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13
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485
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Just need someone to talk to. living with ex abf
(Preview)
I am going to go to a meeting tomorrow. I don't even know where to start. A year and a half after breaking up with my A ex bf, and somewhat reconciling and touching base in may, we have been spending time together, while he was drinking. (Not drinking around me now and less in general as he now says he has some...
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giraffe13
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10
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467
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when does it end?
(Preview)
My ex ah sent me a heated email abt an old Irs tax. He does not want to pay it. I have been paying this tax on a monthly basis to the irs. He got a letter that said they were keeping his refund due to the tax owed. He wants me to pay him the money he is not receiving. Supposedly the at he was to receive was $1000. I hav...
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texasgal
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10
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416
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effects on child
(Preview)
I am blown away that my EXAH passed on so many behaviour issues to our son. For 3 yrs plus We did family counciling, individual counciling, the EXAH continued to lie and grow in addiction. Became unsafe (to even have him come around) hence why he is ex for over a year legally now. Now my 10 yr old is OUT OF C...
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sweeetr
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6
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301
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Help me write a letter to my acholic son
(Preview)
HI, I am a mother that has an alcoholic son. I live in florida and he lives in MA with his wife and 2 children. My son is a good man, but he drinks on the weekends, withdraws Monday- Tuesday then when Friday comes he drinks all weekend. He is a mean drink, I just got back from a visit and I could not wait t...
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bitche1
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2
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622
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Unrealistic things the alcoholic says
(Preview)
I am just sitting her and laughing as I remember what the active alcoholic BF said last week. He was complaining about the amount of money spend on food. He says I only eat 4 dollars a day as I am not home. Since I work night shift and I sleep all day. I am not around to eat. Quit cooking meals and letting food go...
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joker
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4
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462
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Accepted an offer on our house
(Preview)
Well if all goes smoothly in the real estate world we will be moving out of our home of 11 years at the end of August. We finally found a buyer after 3 months. I think I'm still in shock. My kids grew up in this house so there were many good times. But for all the good times there were three times as many bad livin...
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Yankeerose
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5
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335
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ODAT reading 7-8
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for July 8 speaks about how our mood and attitudes are expressed not only in our words but in the tone and volume of our voices. I also feel is expressed in how we write. I get the sense of your joy from your email and that cheered me. The ODA T reading goes on to suggest that we really lis...
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hotrod
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5
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342
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Went back to my home group
(Preview)
Well I went. It was good and I'm glad I went and I will keep going. Yep...I see now I have officially turned into a wacko again. But that's ok. In fact it's good in a way. Even though I always knew when I was regularly going to meetings before that the program helped me immensely.... In the back of my mind I thi...
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Nightingale
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6
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279
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We did tradition 5 spontaneously because a newcomer read it out loud in her turn and asked for it to be explained.
(Preview)
What a wonderful meeting tradition 5 gave us. Nobody could answer what it meant without reading the tradition out so we changed our agenda and what a blessing that turned out to be. it was a god led meeting from start to finish which fed the newcomer and old timers alike the traditions are rarely that ef...
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Quakeroat
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8
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436
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Perfect!
(Preview)
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Debb
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3
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324
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trying hard to use my al-anon tools!
(Preview)
It's the first big deal since I started dating my boyfriend, but I'm seriously hurt and pissed about it. We have been together 16 months and I knew it was bound to happen. Part of me wants to ignore it or even run from this relationship, but I know that's unhealthy thinking. We had my 2 girls and his 2 girls t...
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Breakingfree
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14
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601
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Feeling stuck
(Preview)
Things at the home front have settled down again but yet I still wait for the drama to start again. I went to a AA meeting on Saturday and today is Tuesday and I remain calm. I had to go to a AA meeting as there was no Al-anon meeting available on Saturdays. On Sunday I received a call from a lady I had met in AA be...
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joker
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4
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480
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Your opinions would be appreciated!
(Preview)
I took that two week hiatus from MIP and f2f meetings and boy it took a toll on my confidence level. Thought that I had the steps pretty much understood and that I've been part of Al-Anon for over a year now that maybe it would be good for me to go it alone. Boy was I wrong, not only for the fact that I missed yo...
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Debb
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12
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558
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Insanity... Family... humor...
(Preview)
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John
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7
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563
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remembering to stay humble.
(Preview)
Sometimes I forget how important for me to stay humble. I was around a huge group of women today. It was not an Al anon meeting. But it was a very important place for me to be to continually learn & be teachable. I feel like a kid compared to the women who attend this group. I guess because of my experienc...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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469
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Hope for Today July 7
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Today's HFT is about moving away from feeling victimized in our lives (and by the effects of alcoholism), and through program work and self care, moving toward a life that we are in charge of, with the guidance of our HP. This is a great reading for me because I have been thinking...
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yanksfan51
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3
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240
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Just like old times.
(Preview)
Well this has turned out to be a pretty melancholy weekend for me. Yesterday I took daughter to her fathers where she will stay for the next 5 days and visited my mother and grandmother which was nice. I love my grandmother dearly and she has very strong opinions about many topics that she likes to presen...
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missmeliss
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16
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670
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I am sicker then I thought
(Preview)
I am definitely sicker then I thought. I have been in and out....mostly out the last 7 years....of Al-Anon and I am intensely unhappy. My life is completely unmanageable. Last night I got drunk...and emotional. ...and my AP wanted nothing to do with me.
I hate f2f meetings but I have no choice. He hug...
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Nightingale
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20
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605
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Vicious Cycle- Can't seem to break free...
(Preview)
I have been watching and reading in the background for months now, I attend telephonic meetings and listen. I have never been to a f2f meeting due to the limited availability of times in my area. This is my first post. I am married to an functional alcoholic, we are separated after December when there wa...
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Jaded4462
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6
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467
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C2C 7-6
(Preview)
C2C for 7-6 speaks about the Book Mark " Just For Today"- ( a small powerful piece of literature that has helped me to learn how to stay in the day and the moment and pray with faith and understanding. The reading recites the prayer from the Bookmark:St Francis's Peace Prayer :&q...
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hotrod
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6
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499
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Need advice on how to act in this situation when it comes up again
(Preview)
Before my RAH started his inpatient addiction recovery program last month, his idea of staying dry was going to stay with a friend who does not drink (not sure if this friend is a recovering alcoholic or just decided to stop drinking but did not actually have a dependence on alcohol?) in another state a...
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Yankeerose
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11
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470
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Insanity does not stop
(Preview)
Just wanted to provide an update of running away from my home due to the alcoholic. I stayed with my daughter in a hotel for two nights as I could not tolerate the insanity another moment and I did call the police. The police came to the house and my daughter and I had to leave the house as we were afraid of the...
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joker
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5
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663
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1year sober found beer in refrig
(Preview)
I'm not snooping I was told to go in the refrigerator to get out something at my ex A h house and I noticed a beer bottle in the back so yes I was curious to see if it was beer or a non alcoholic one . Needless to say it had 5% alcohol in it . I did not say anything to him . Am I over looking this ? Is it normal for a recove...
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Wisdom67
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8
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630
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I guess no news is good news!
(Preview)
I am doing pretty well actually. Haven't posted in awhile because I haven't experienced anything too dramatic. Although every now & then I will say something that I have to apologize for. I am still a work in progress. That has not changed. I am content. I don't feel so much anxiety. But, things are...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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331
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moving forward
(Preview)
Since I've been in the program I have had progress in my life. As I move forward in my life one of the things I need to deal with better is the reaction to my flashbacks I get sometimes when I'm in situations I get a feeling that takes me back to the place when I was with my exAh. Sometimes I can still hear his har...
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texasgal
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8
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629
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update
(Preview)
A fewd days ago I wrote back in after 6 years. AH was so out of his mind he had about 5 major things going at once that particular evening- trimming trees, food on the grill, food on the stove, etc.. wanting me to cut his hair, anyway u get the idea.. he even came in and asked about going to eat somewhere. He had...
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beacheemom
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2
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383
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Going to try... nothing.
(Preview)
My AH's drinking is a daily topic of conversation in our house. We talk A LOT about how it's time to make a change, how its negatively affecting our marriage and our home life in general. He "quits" at least once a week but never makes it to 48 hours dry. With the things I have learned in Al-Anon,...
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CoopsMom
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7
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539
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Baby steps
(Preview)
Today was a good day. My RAH and I went to a movie together. This may not seem like a big deal but considering I can count on one hand how many times we have gone to the movies together in 18 years it IS a big deal! I let him pick the movie with the agreement we would go again next week to a movie of my choice. We got...
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Yankeerose
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6
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422
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Recovery is not as easy as I thought it would be
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I am new here but I have been reading the posts here for the last couple months now. My AH is in recovery for the last month (Third time). He completed a 2 week inpatient program and is currently attending Intensive Outpatient group therapy and goes to AA meetings twice a day. He has a sponsor...
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Yankeerose
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10
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577
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watching what you say around the alcoholic
(Preview)
Update. I had a great sleep at last after the insane couple of days with the alcoholic. I feel much better now and the alcoholic bf is sober. I expect the insanity to start in a week time again. He works night shift so I know he will be sober till this coming Saterday morning when he will start drinking again...
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joker
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9
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554
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Depression
(Preview)
I don't have a lot of time so this may not be a elequently written as I would like....
I'm looking for others who's sober partner suffers from sometimes server depression. My AP is sometimes.....like now.....unable to even get out of bed. Over the past three years we have had varying degrees of bette...
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Nightingale
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16
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782
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C2 C 7-4
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 4 is very interesting. It speaks about Tradition Three. This is the tradition that reminds us that the relatives of alcoholics when gathered together for mutual aid may call themselves an Al-Anon family group, provided that we do nothave any other affiliation. And that...
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hotrod
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2
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465
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scared to go to a meeting
(Preview)
I wentered to my 1st and last Al anon meeting 5yrs ago. My partner is an A who is now sober although displays some signs of DD. I am so angry that I think I am going a bit nuts. So after finally reading Melody Beatties excellent Co dependent No More and realising I need and want some support and help I have deci...
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beanzandsausages
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5
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453
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HELP! need additional viewpoints.
(Preview)
first - Happy anniversary Pink! In the next half hour my AW is going to ask me to take her to pick up our car that she got too drunk to drive home last night. Preface: She never asks me what I want to do, she only tells me what she's going to do and asks if I want to join her. Last night she informed me that she was g...
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almostThere
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21
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548
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C2C reading 7-5
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 5 speaks about the powerful tool of detachment. It points out that it is an often misunderstood tool, but that when used with healthy motives it offers the freedom to own what is mind and to allow others to do the same. This freedom allows us to keep our own identity and still love,...
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hotrod
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3
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329
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Tough decisions
(Preview)
It's soo very hard for me to make a decision I'm bad to make a decision then. Turn around and change my mind wen it comes to boyfriends which all I get it alcoholic,drug addicts or one like I got now that knows and has all addicts but keeps them on the low side what he calls is not around me but he stays around...
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lookingup
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4
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405
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Life on life's terms
(Preview)
This might not make much sense; I just need to talk to someone. My A brother is in his cups today. He gets to the point of being unable to walk but tries to anyway and falls over. It's tiring running up and down the stair to check on him / help him up back into bed. Enabling, yes. But he hits the floor with such a f...
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Jock
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4
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402
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Just Joined
(Preview)
Hi Everyone... I just joined and looking forward to a new Al-Anon group to work with. My qualifier is my active AH. We will be traveling again soon and I am looking for an online group to join. The one group I joined works via email posts but this system seems much more interactive with "real&quo...
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Janet343
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8
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415
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Pink Chip(Mark) Happy Day
(Preview)
Happy First Anniversary Mark and Chuck Loved sharing the journey with you Remember when we alll changed our avatars to" top hats for the occasion and after that we were Chickens in a Hen house Interesting times
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hotrod
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9
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779
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Amazed
(Preview)
I just again wanted to provide an update. Yesterday, I decided I have to do something, rather than sit at home while the alcoholic BF slept. He was sober but loves his sleep. I decided to go attend an AA meeting as there is no Al-Anon meeting on weekends here in Canada where I live. It was the best thing I did...
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joker
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2
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323
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I'm back after 6 years
(Preview)
Wow. I just found this site again and actually remembered everything on logging in and searched my username and all my posts and replies from 6 years ago show up. I read every single one. I am in awe. My baby, back then, is now 6 years old! My middle child is 12 and my oldest just graduated high school. Wow. W...
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beacheemom
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10
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541
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Just Sharing the Lessons Learned
(Preview)
First off, I would like to apologize to the membership for my last post, a few weeks ago, thatconcerned the effects of alcohol on a persons estrogen levels, it was off topic, controversialand did not abide by Al-Anon Tradition Ten. Lesson #1 learned.Also by apologizing to you all, I am continuing my...
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Debb
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5
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340
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Well .. LOL
(Preview)
Well, it has come to fruition that I will be moving as long as all goes well. I'm afraid that the XAH is going to make this hard on me. I am asking for some serious prayers. He has already agreed to it verbally and in front of the kids. However once again we have court on Tuesday. I am in the middle of movi...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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387
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JULY4TH DOMESTIC ABUSE 1 YR AGO
(Preview)
IT IS EXACTLY 1 YR ON JULY 4TH THAT MY AH ABUSED ME PHYSICALLY. WE CHOSE TO GET AWAY TO THE CASINO[WHAT A STUPID CHOICE]. AH DIDNT HAVE HIS CAR OR LISCENSE SO AN AQUAINTANCE DROVE US THERE. JULY 4TH AH SPENT GETTING TOALLY WASTED!!! CASINOS DONT CARE,JUST GIVE OUT THE BOOZE AS LONG AS U GAMBLE. AROUND 8PM, A...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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430
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Happy 4th of July!
(Preview)
To all MIP Friends & Family - While the 4th of July is typically a USA holiday, I am still wishing everyone a safe and happy joy-filled day! I am grateful for all of you and for the world we live in which allows us the freedom we need to be all we can be. For those in the USA - happy 4th! Make it a great day eve...
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Iamhere
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3
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337
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Gaining my Independence on Independence Day
(Preview)
Here alone. Everyone's out drinking. Fighting depression. Just had to jump on to go through the exercise of writing down what I keep telling myself. I chose not to go to the party. My choice. I can choose to be happy. I can choose serenity. I can declare independence from her disease and mine. I can...
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almostThere
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5
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364
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Losing my independence on Independence Day
(Preview)
July 4th 2008 I married my ex-AH - lost my independence, just about lost my mind. I remember when he asked me to marry him, I knew what he was up to and what he was going to do and in my mind I'm screaming NO! but I said yes - why? I think because I didn't want to lose him, he would have ended the relationship (luck...
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likemyheart
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4
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375
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Did AA make him too selfish?
(Preview)
I am dating a guy 16 yrs older than me who has been through AA and sober for 29 yrs. We have talked about his recovery and he has explained to me how they taught him that you have to put yourself first. This is a hard concept for me to understand completely. He admits it seems selfish and he explained that in or...
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catlover26
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7
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647
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WHY
(Preview)
My ah has relapsed again after 3 months. He went to an 30 day recovery in dec slipped in April and now he has done it again. I haven't told him I know. He has this great job that even paid him to go to rehab and will promote him soon and it is all going to blow up and I get to witness it. I work with him as well and our b...
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Helpangel
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5
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469
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12 Tradition
(Preview)
The 12th tradition has been posted to the step work board How The Twelve Steps and 12 Tradtions Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Traditions and 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is a link. Please join us...
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hotrod
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0
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167
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C2C 7-3
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 3rd is a reminder of the importance of alanon meetings. It points out that HP works through each alanon group and( I believe here at MIP) and that each person gets what he needs from the meetings. It goes on the explains that we do not know what is best for others so that...
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hotrod
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3
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312
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Looking for Help/worksheets for Step 2
(Preview)
I have looked at the Step Work Board but there doesn't seem to be a lot of activity there in what I am looking for. I can't afford to buy any of the books now so I am looking for some kind of questions/worksheets that I can do on my own. I attend the local meetings but I think this would also be very beneficial to...
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catlover26
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3
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412
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My Biggest Challenge - Trusting My HP
(Preview)
Yesterday marked 8 months since I walked into the rooms of AlAnon ready to find my own recovery. I have spent a lot of time bouncing back and forth between steps 2 & 3 primarly because I have such a difficult time putting all of my faith in my HP. I had been making remarkable headway in the past couple...
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Dave2554
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5
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517
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Alanon relapse
(Preview)
Is wat I call a just about gonna be a full blown alanon relapse not s ip wished it were a slip ....falling right back into bad relationships gonna get hurt I'm my thinking is just that I'm setting my self up for another set back just haven't let him move in my home I pray I do t fall into that situation again,...
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lookingup
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4
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392
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