Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...

Italylover23 · Italylover23

I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...

punkin · punkin

Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...

Getting Stronger in OH · Getting Stronger in OH

Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I just wanted to let you know that my son is doing well in prison. I'm happy he is getting something out of it so don't ever worry if your loved one is in this situation because it just might do him/her some good. He is in a writing class and I want you to see what he has published in the prison...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about taking risks and trusting HP. It is often difficult to do this because sometimes my position looks hopeless ,and my HP is asking me to take a risk. I hesitate out of fear, however, I must remind myself that HP is helping me to cope and make positive choices.The d...

gabigail · gabigail

I know this is a psychology term, projection, where another places bad attributes onto another person. I have found this to be a constant for a long time with my AW and me. Part of it is growing up in a narcissist family, and having some narcissistic tendencies that I see from how her mom and sister are a...

Millop · Millop

Hi, I am new to this site but have read many, many threads on here which have been really helpful! I am from the UK and currently on holiday with my 9 year old daughter for 6 weeks summer holiday break. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2 years now and have dramatically changed for the better as a mo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

So I will start writing and see if anyone can make sense of it. I have now been officially divorced for over a year and a half. From the time that my exAH moved out I have heard from time to time about his commitment to sobriety- the other consistency is his resistance to AA and any other support. I guess I...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I would love to hear from anyone who has chosen or had to leave their home because their A won't. How does one pack up and leave while their A is sitting around the house getting in the way? Or whatever. How the heck do you even navigate what you are going to take, with someone who is not in their right mind? ...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

AH , HAS AGAIN DRUNK HIMSELF INTO NEAR DEATH AGAIN. HE DRINKS ALOT FOR A WEEK THEN DOESNT EAT AND THROWS UP TO THE POINT OF DYHRATION. HE PASSED OUT AT WORK. NOW HE IS AGAIN IN HOSPITAL DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY CAUSE HE CANT SMOKE AND SUDDENLY IS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD IS LOUSEY ETC. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REPEATE...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sigh, so much for my day. The first thing I did today was call about daughter's Japanese classes. Discovered she has a spot, hooray! Then sent the dreaded text to ex to say our daughter is going to be doing classes on Saturday mornings. Now 4 hours later my head is pounding and spinning, hands are shaking...

andromeda · andromeda

Long story short, I was getting phone calls from the school and from my son that dad wasn't answering and that my X wasn't available and everyone was concerned. I finally broke down at work crying and decided to call the police to do a well check. Not sure how that went but they did wake him up and he event...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I was wondering what you all even define as normal drinking? I can tell you that my definition changed throught my drinking career and then now in my sobriety. When in my active alcoholism, I really thought everyone drank to get drunk. I couldn't fathom or understand any other reason for drinking bec...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 5 speaks about resentments. It suggests that, prior to finding Al-Anon most of our waking hours were consumed by thinking/ obsessing over our resentments and the anger that it produces.Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, we dont have to continually re...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This time last year I was in serious crisis. I mentioned here several times that I have a friend who works as an abuse counselor, who was steadfastly supporting me through that time in a really cool non-pushy way. When Abf lost his crap in our final days together and was drunk and terrifying, I went to her...

Sooverthis · Sooverthis

Good morning- I stumbled upon your page while reading up on being married to a dry drunk. A quick background: married 19 years, first several years my spouse was using, he became sober and was for 14 years. Went back out for just over a year and last Dec checked himself into rehab. Worked his program v...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well firstly, I had my first "advanced driving" class today. It was fun! I think this is going to be some of the best money I have ever spent. Yay! In other news, Daughter is starting Japanese classes which is a) fantastic and b) going to start a war with her father. See, daughter's school does...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's One Day at a Time in Al-Anon carried great weight for me, reminding me of the impact that our expectations can have in our own lives and in those around us. The reading reminds us that when feeling frustration toward others, we often miss a common culprit: our own high or specific expectations o...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks about how growing up in an alcoholic home contributed to an unhealthy inability to express anger. The writer expressed how difficult it was to show anger so instead it was stuffed down where it would grow into a serious resentment. A fear of authority f...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60650109/alanon-step-2/

PaulF · PaulF

Maintaining contact with my alcoholic friend is an ongoing dilemma. While I am glad she contacted me and told me she loves me etc I'm still uncertain of how to proceed with keeping in contact. She is still drinking. At the moment I'm more leaving it to her to call me. I send supportive texts and always put...

RealitySucker · RealitySucker

This is probably going to be all over the place, but...I mentioned in previous posts my AH has been in the throes of his addiction for 2+ years (abusing alcohol longer than that but out of control for at least 2 years.) He has been able to obtain good jobs but has trouble keeping them, not because they've f...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2c reading for August 3rd speaks about our use of denial and about how to look into the past without staring.It suggests that when we first found Al-Anon we may have used denial as a powerful tool to help us survive and to live life.Using the program and being honest, open and willing as well a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to deal with my XAH yesterday and something that the kids immediately noticed after 9 weeks of not being around them is how things have slipped back to the way it was with me. At the time I did not realize what a blessing it was that I was removed from this man's life or him from mine. Is it sad that thing...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

LOL I thought I would begin a new post because it's been so long since I shared about this. My original post was on July 10. I had an interview and was asked immediately after if I could come back the next day or day after to be introduced to the other vp for whom I'd be working if I were selected for the job. I a...

serenity47 · serenity47

My AD has been lying chronically for the past four years. Often it is about things that are of no significance but in an attempt to make herself appear better more interesting then she believes she is. She also lies about the big things to. Just this past week she is again lying about another job loss...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

The man I have loved for two years has over 15 years of sobriety. He called off the relationship 3 times in the first year. After a solid year, he's done so again. Each time has been for seemingly small issues. He comes back but I'm not sure if this is something that common with alcoholism or is it just not go...

Tashaking18 · Tashaking18

So my father has been seeking help. He stumbled across this. "Living with an alcoholic wife" some tips and ideas to help cope. And it read this.....mind you my mother yes is an alcoholic. But she binges. So it's either every night or every few nights. Depending I what she feels deserves a dr...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi , everyone I was walking in the park this afternoon and since I always carry my camera and am ever trying to be in the "moment", I was fortunate enough to see a mother sparrow gently feeding her baby on a bench. It was a perfect reminder of how nurturing my HP is to me. Thanks for letting me sha...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for August 2 speaks about our need to be in control and to force solutions. It reminds us that the Second Tradition states that for our group purpose there is one authority-- a loving God. By practicing these traditions, we enable our groups to grow and remain healthy, and ifwe insist on h...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i am still struggling can not seem to get out of my funk and misery. I have had a bad month of dealing with highly Dysfunctional people on a case.That is done for the year. I Still have a tough caseload but not with family interference. I am going to rethink my two jobs when i get sane again. Now that the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Nah-nana-nah nana-nah nana-nah nana-naaaah! The offspring woke me at 8.50am shrieking like some kind of disgruntled spirit. "OMG MUM I WAS MEANT TO BE AT SCHOOL HALF AN HOUR AGO!!!" Now said offspring catches a bus to school so strictly speaking she doesn't require my participation to g...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all! I haven't been here in quite some time...for those of you who may remember me and my story, I just wanted to give you an update. My AH and I have been married for six years. He relapsed five years ago. There has been no physical abuse in our marriage, but the emotional abuse has been intense and gru...

IZ · IZ

Five years ago I went to an Al-Anon meeting. It wasn't for me. Those people weren't like me. My daughter was just a heavy drinker. So I never went back. I mean, she is married and has 2 kids and I've never seen her drunk. Sure, she drinks a lot and her house is always a wreck and she sleeps all the time. We bic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know that from my experience, God is very important in my life. I know some have another name for their understanding. If someone needs to have a different understanding, I hope you are not offended by what i say. I just want to remind myself of the power of God & of prayer. Once someone gets to step 1...

Karny · Karny

This is kind of long but I need to get it all out! My husband and I got sober in 1991, together, him through in-patient treatment and me through being required to attend therapy with him as part of his treatment, which led to me realizing I am alcoholic too. Recently we've had a lot of life changes involvi...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 1st speaks about our motives for attending our first Al-Anon Meeting. It states that most of us do so because we're trying to learn how to get somebody to stop drinking.When we keep coming back we discover the truth that we didn't cause the alcoholism, can't control it and...

Holly09 · Holly09

After a few lousy day's last weekend and beginning of the week dealing with my A's nonsense we have had a great few day's drama free and I am grateful! I have focused on me and the kids and things have smoothed out. I know this doesn't mean that is the end of the drama however I am focused on the good that is h...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I was asked the other day, wasn't I afraid to be alone? The question threw me a little because - of all the emotions/feelings I've gone through in the past years, fear of being alone just hasn't been one of them! Fear of being alone? Fear - of being alone in my peaceful house, able to do what I choose when I ch...

PaulF · PaulF

So finally after eight weeks she called. As I thought it wasn't good. She'd been locked in a house for several days and she'd been beaten. Sounds horrific. What I'm beating myself up for was I was so preoccupied about how hurt I'd felt it was hard to be compassionate. She didn't ask for it to happen. Whe...

andromeda · andromeda

Ok, so I need some advice about how to use program here. My son is 16 and old enough to learn how to handle his dad when he is required to spend time with him. I took my son to his first Al Anon meeting tonight and we talked about his father's drinking. Turns out there were things I didn't know, which I kind o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Happy birthday and thank you for the amazing and selfless work you do. You are my biggest inspiration and I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 31 asks that we really think about and use the slogan:"Living one day at a time". It points out that when we take one day, one moment, one task at a time and really concentrate on it a lot more gets done. The reminder suggests that when we catch ourselves feeling o...

creatvepro · creatvepro

I have been attending Al-anon meetings for about 4 months now so I still consider myself relatively new. I hear some really sad and terrifying stories in my meetings and I sit there and think "my situation was so much different". My addict (family member) is in long-term recovery now and he...

PaulF · PaulF

Apologies for my overuse of this forum!

Italylover23 · Italylover23

Hi All, I am new to Ala-non and addiction somewhat as well. My sister is in recovery for 3 years but somehow now having an AH is a whole new ballgame. I guess it's the difference with living with the addict versus not. Anyway, my AH's "secret" was just found by me. He just spent 12 days (not nearl...

rainbow · rainbow

Many times have i wanted to reach out here but not feLt brave enough or worthy enough when i can see you have your own problems to deal with and there are so few of you always giving your time and precious support to those in need and I feel guilty drawing on your energy and time when i should be able to help m...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I do have to laugh we all got home however it was something. Spent the night at the airport I could have stood up a little more and probably gotten them to cover the hotel expense however .. you know it just wasn't worth it. LOL .. plus I figured well small airlines it's not like they are all going to talk to...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

and I mean well however good grief ... I really set myself up to be my own worst enemy. Today I'm suppose to fly out and pick the kids up. I booked tickets ohhh way long ago like in June. I got to the airport just to check .. gotta love small towns I can just fly in and out at a whim Anyway .. same crazy lady I had...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, July 30( my birthday incidentally), speaks about making a serious commitment to our recovery and that "finding happiness" is an inside job. It points out that we often are committed to happiness and working the program but at the first sign of trouble we abandon...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well, i havent posted in awhile, id like to say its cuz im doing ok. .Which for the most part is true. But i realize staying away isnt good. Ive taken a new job. Working in a mental health clinic ft and summers as opposed to my former school job. the environment and peopke are FAR better. . Being away from hom...

almostThere · almostThere

Yes, I'm crazy. I've known this for a long time. Crazy and mean. Not mean in my soul, but mean on the surface from a lifetime of pain. I used to practice being mean in my head. I'm a professional. When someone stepped out of line, I could make them shrivel like a spider on a hot stove. And if no one was s...

Mattie · Mattie

I am trying with all my might to use my program tools and conduct my relationships in new healthier ways - but my emotions are scared as heck. One thing I've realized is that I typically have had a partner and friends who are not very sympathetic when things are hard. My parents were pretty dismissive of...

littlelionman · littlelionman

It just hit me. I have a fair amount going on...I share custody of 2 young kids that I'm present and engaged with, I'm navigating the emotions of divorce, drafted a legal separation mostly on my own, got our house repaired and under contract (fingers crossed the sale goes through), am getting my finan...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Manipulation x 1000 (Preview) I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...	SerenityRUS	12	837	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Success Stories (Preview) I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...	Italylover23	14	3162	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	it is a long road home... (Preview) Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...	Hoot Nanny	5	591	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Becoming more aware as time passes (Preview) My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...	Helpangel	9	606	Aug 7, 2015 by almostThere
	What's Your Favorite Al-Anon Tool and How do you Use it? (Preview) I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...	Iamhere	32	1126	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Ready to leave but can't leave my dogs! (Preview) Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...	punkin	9	756	Aug 7, 2015 by milkwood
	Responding vs. Reacting (Preview) Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...	gabigail	7	1737	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...	hotrod	3	602	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Finally followed through (Preview) Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...	Getting Stronger in OH	6	675	Aug 7, 2015 by gabigail
	My Son's Writings (Preview) Good Morning All I just wanted to let you know that my son is doing well in prison. I'm happy he is getting something out of it so don't ever worry if your loved one is in this situation because it just might do him/her some good. He is in a writing class and I want you to see what he has published in the prison...	Cathyinaz	17	907	Aug 7, 2015 by milkwood
	C2C 8-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 6 speaks about taking risks and trusting HP. It is often difficult to do this because sometimes my position looks hopeless ,and my HP is asking me to take a risk. I hesitate out of fear, however, I must remind myself that HP is helping me to cope and make positive choices.The d...	hotrod	2	481	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Dealing with projection (Preview) I know this is a psychology term, projection, where another places bad attributes onto another person. I have found this to be a constant for a long time with my AW and me. Part of it is growing up in a narcissist family, and having some narcissistic tendencies that I see from how her mom and sister are a...	gabigail	6	805	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Guidance needed, already in 12 step program (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site but have read many, many threads on here which have been really helpful! I am from the UK and currently on holiday with my 9 year old daughter for 6 weeks summer holiday break. I have been attending f2f meetings for over 2 years now and have dramatically changed for the better as a mo...	Millop	7	674	Aug 6, 2015 by Debb
	Not sure what I need to say... (Preview) So I will start writing and see if anyone can make sense of it. I have now been officially divorced for over a year and a half. From the time that my exAH moved out I have heard from time to time about his commitment to sobriety- the other consistency is his resistance to AA and any other support. I guess I...	yanksfan51	10	752	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Having to move out (Preview) I would love to hear from anyone who has chosen or had to leave their home because their A won't. How does one pack up and leave while their A is sitting around the house getting in the way? Or whatever. How the heck do you even navigate what you are going to take, with someone who is not in their right mind? ...	oceanpine	13	886	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH IN HOSPITAL AGAIN (Preview) AH , HAS AGAIN DRUNK HIMSELF INTO NEAR DEATH AGAIN. HE DRINKS ALOT FOR A WEEK THEN DOESNT EAT AND THROWS UP TO THE POINT OF DYHRATION. HE PASSED OUT AT WORK. NOW HE IS AGAIN IN HOSPITAL DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY CAUSE HE CANT SMOKE AND SUDDENLY IS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD IS LOUSEY ETC. THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REPEATE...	YARNCRAZY	12	731	Aug 6, 2015 by pinkchip
	:-( (Preview) Sigh, so much for my day. The first thing I did today was call about daughter's Japanese classes. Discovered she has a spot, hooray! Then sent the dreaded text to ex to say our daughter is going to be doing classes on Saturday mornings. Now 4 hours later my head is pounding and spinning, hands are shaking...	missmeliss	17	765	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Called police for a well check on XAH (Preview) Long story short, I was getting phone calls from the school and from my son that dad wasn't answering and that my X wasn't available and everyone was concerned. I finally broke down at work crying and decided to call the police to do a well check. Not sure how that went but they did wake him up and he event...	andromeda	9	770	Aug 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	What is normal drinking? (Preview) I was wondering what you all even define as normal drinking? I can tell you that my definition changed throught my drinking career and then now in my sobriety. When in my active alcoholism, I really thought everyone drank to get drunk. I couldn't fathom or understand any other reason for drinking bec...	pinkchip	23	1441	Aug 5, 2015 by Green Eyes
	C2C 8-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 5 speaks about resentments. It suggests that, prior to finding Al-Anon most of our waking hours were consumed by thinking/ obsessing over our resentments and the anger that it produces.Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, we dont have to continually re...	hotrod	8	563	Aug 5, 2015 by The1975jen
	Lunch. (Preview) This time last year I was in serious crisis. I mentioned here several times that I have a friend who works as an abuse counselor, who was steadfastly supporting me through that time in a really cool non-pushy way. When Abf lost his crap in our final days together and was drunk and terrifying, I went to her...	missmeliss	14	793	Aug 5, 2015 by Jen61
	Frustated, angry, living with a dry drunk spouse (Preview) Good morning- I stumbled upon your page while reading up on being married to a dry drunk. A quick background: married 19 years, first several years my spouse was using, he became sober and was for 14 years. Went back out for just over a year and last Dec checked himself into rehab. Worked his program v...	Sooverthis	8	3031	Aug 4, 2015 by RealitySucker
	This will be interesting.. (Preview) Well firstly, I had my first "advanced driving" class today. It was fun! I think this is going to be some of the best money I have ever spent. Yay! In other news, Daughter is starting Japanese classes which is a) fantastic and b) going to start a war with her father. See, daughter's school does...	missmeliss	4	719	Aug 4, 2015 by hotrod
	ODAT 8/4 Do We Expect Too Much/Specific? (Preview) Today's One Day at a Time in Al-Anon carried great weight for me, reminding me of the impact that our expectations can have in our own lives and in those around us. The reading reminds us that when feeling frustration toward others, we often miss a common culprit: our own high or specific expectations o...	Enigmatic	3	548	Aug 4, 2015 by hotrod
	Hope for Today August 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks about how growing up in an alcoholic home contributed to an unhealthy inability to express anger. The writer expressed how difficult it was to show anger so instead it was stuffed down where it would grow into a serious resentment. A fear of authority f...	yanksfan51	8	715	Aug 4, 2015 by Debb
	Step 2 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60650109/alanon-step-2/	hotrod	1	477	Aug 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to maintain contact with an active alcoholic (Preview) Maintaining contact with my alcoholic friend is an ongoing dilemma. While I am glad she contacted me and told me she loves me etc I'm still uncertain of how to proceed with keeping in contact. She is still drinking. At the moment I'm more leaving it to her to call me. I send supportive texts and always put...	PaulF	6	637	Aug 4, 2015 by PaulF
	Anger, resentment, and fear/doubt... (Preview) This is probably going to be all over the place, but...I mentioned in previous posts my AH has been in the throes of his addiction for 2+ years (abusing alcohol longer than that but out of control for at least 2 years.) He has been able to obtain good jobs but has trouble keeping them, not because they've f...	RealitySucker	5	767	Aug 4, 2015 by RealitySucker
	C2C 8-3 (Preview) The C2c reading for August 3rd speaks about our use of denial and about how to look into the past without staring.It suggests that when we first found Al-Anon we may have used denial as a powerful tool to help us survive and to live life.Using the program and being honest, open and willing as well a...	hotrod	2	501	Aug 3, 2015 by IZ
	Honeymoon is over ... (Preview) I had to deal with my XAH yesterday and something that the kids immediately noticed after 9 weeks of not being around them is how things have slipped back to the way it was with me. At the time I did not realize what a blessing it was that I was removed from this man's life or him from mine. Is it sad that thing...	SerenityRUS	2	775	Aug 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	One Drama at a Time (Preview) LOL I thought I would begin a new post because it's been so long since I shared about this. My original post was on July 10. I had an interview and was asked immediately after if I could come back the next day or day after to be introduced to the other vp for whom I'd be working if I were selected for the job. I a...	tiredtonite	6	670	Aug 3, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Constant lies (Preview) My AD has been lying chronically for the past four years. Often it is about things that are of no significance but in an attempt to make herself appear better more interesting then she believes she is. She also lies about the big things to. Just this past week she is again lying about another job loss...	serenity47	10	778	Aug 3, 2015 by serenity47
	Do I belong? (Preview) The man I have loved for two years has over 15 years of sobriety. He called off the relationship 3 times in the first year. After a solid year, he's done so again. Each time has been for seemingly small issues. He comes back but I'm not sure if this is something that common with alcoholism or is it just not go...	Lost and scared	14	892	Aug 3, 2015 by Lost and scared
	Alcoholic mother/wife (Preview) So my father has been seeking help. He stumbled across this. "Living with an alcoholic wife" some tips and ideas to help cope. And it read this.....mind you my mother yes is an alcoholic. But she binges. So it's either every night or every few nights. Depending I what she feels deserves a dr...	Tashaking18	4	663	Aug 3, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Good evening (Preview) Hi , everyone I was walking in the park this afternoon and since I always carry my camera and am ever trying to be in the "moment", I was fortunate enough to see a mother sparrow gently feeding her baby on a bench. It was a perfect reminder of how nurturing my HP is to me. Thanks for letting me sha...	hotrod	8	698	Aug 3, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	C2C 8-2 (Preview) C2C reading for August 2 speaks about our need to be in control and to force solutions. It reminds us that the Second Tradition states that for our group purpose there is one authority-- a loving God. By practicing these traditions, we enable our groups to grow and remain healthy, and ifwe insist on h...	hotrod	2	584	Aug 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Still struggling (Preview) i am still struggling can not seem to get out of my funk and misery. I have had a bad month of dealing with highly Dysfunctional people on a case.That is done for the year. I Still have a tough caseload but not with family interference. I am going to rethink my two jobs when i get sane again. Now that the...	Mirandac	16	804	Aug 2, 2015 by Mirandac
	PROGRAM!! (I got it early in the mornin' now) (Preview) Nah-nana-nah nana-nah nana-nah nana-naaaah! The offspring woke me at 8.50am shrieking like some kind of disgruntled spirit. "OMG MUM I WAS MEANT TO BE AT SCHOOL HALF AN HOUR AGO!!!" Now said offspring catches a bus to school so strictly speaking she doesn't require my participation to g...	missmeliss	4	955	Aug 2, 2015 by Breakingfree
	It's Been a Long Time - Update (Preview) Hi all! I haven't been here in quite some time...for those of you who may remember me and my story, I just wanted to give you an update. My AH and I have been married for six years. He relapsed five years ago. There has been no physical abuse in our marriage, but the emotional abuse has been intense and gru...	stephaniej	7	662	Aug 2, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	My First Real Meeting (Preview) Five years ago I went to an Al-Anon meeting. It wasn't for me. Those people weren't like me. My daughter was just a heavy drinker. So I never went back. I mean, she is married and has 2 kids and I've never seen her drunk. Sure, she drinks a lot and her house is always a wreck and she sleeps all the time. We bic...	IZ	11	861	Aug 2, 2015 by IZ
	God never fails...just when needed He is always there. (Preview) I know that from my experience, God is very important in my life. I know some have another name for their understanding. If someone needs to have a different understanding, I hope you are not offended by what i say. I just want to remind myself of the power of God & of prayer. Once someone gets to step 1...	Hoot Nanny	4	601	Aug 2, 2015 by hotrod
	Thanks for being here (Preview) This is kind of long but I need to get it all out! My husband and I got sober in 1991, together, him through in-patient treatment and me through being required to attend therapy with him as part of his treatment, which led to me realizing I am alcoholic too. Recently we've had a lot of life changes involvi...	Karny	7	641	Aug 2, 2015 by milkwood
	C2C 8-1 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 1st speaks about our motives for attending our first Al-Anon Meeting. It states that most of us do so because we're trying to learn how to get somebody to stop drinking.When we keep coming back we discover the truth that we didn't cause the alcoholism, can't control it and...	hotrod	3	473	Aug 1, 2015 by serenity47
	A breath of fresh air! (Preview) After a few lousy day's last weekend and beginning of the week dealing with my A's nonsense we have had a great few day's drama free and I am grateful! I have focused on me and the kids and things have smoothed out. I know this doesn't mean that is the end of the drama however I am focused on the good that is h...	Holly09	4	617	Aug 1, 2015 by Debb
	No Spirit of Fear (Preview) I was asked the other day, wasn't I afraid to be alone? The question threw me a little because - of all the emotions/feelings I've gone through in the past years, fear of being alone just hasn't been one of them! Fear of being alone? Fear - of being alone in my peaceful house, able to do what I choose when I ch...	likemyheart	5	732	Aug 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	My alcoholic got back in contact (Preview) So finally after eight weeks she called. As I thought it wasn't good. She'd been locked in a house for several days and she'd been beaten. Sounds horrific. What I'm beating myself up for was I was so preoccupied about how hurt I'd felt it was hard to be compassionate. She didn't ask for it to happen. Whe...	PaulF	9	501	Aug 1, 2015 by missmeliss
	XAH drinking around our son (Preview) Ok, so I need some advice about how to use program here. My son is 16 and old enough to learn how to handle his dad when he is required to spend time with him. I took my son to his first Al Anon meeting tonight and we talked about his father's drinking. Turns out there were things I didn't know, which I kind o...	andromeda	5	403	Aug 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	Happy Birthday Betty!! (Preview) Happy birthday and thank you for the amazing and selfless work you do. You are my biggest inspiration and I hope you have a wonderful day!!!	missmeliss	22	858	Aug 1, 2015 by Quakeroat
	C2C 7 31 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 31 asks that we really think about and use the slogan:"Living one day at a time". It points out that when we take one day, one moment, one task at a time and really concentrate on it a lot more gets done. The reminder suggests that when we catch ourselves feeling o...	hotrod	8	694	Jul 31, 2015 by Debb
	New to Al-anon (Preview) I have been attending Al-anon meetings for about 4 months now so I still consider myself relatively new. I hear some really sad and terrifying stories in my meetings and I sit there and think "my situation was so much different". My addict (family member) is in long-term recovery now and he...	creatvepro	8	751	Jul 31, 2015 by creatvepro
	Thank you (Preview) Apologies for my overuse of this forum!	PaulF	5	482	Jul 31, 2015 by pinkchip
	Hi All, I am new here. (Preview) Hi All, I am new to Ala-non and addiction somewhat as well. My sister is in recovery for 3 years but somehow now having an AH is a whole new ballgame. I guess it's the difference with living with the addict versus not. Anyway, my AH's "secret" was just found by me. He just spent 12 days (not nearl...	Italylover23	7	718	Jul 31, 2015 by Jerry F
	Heart shattered (Preview) Many times have i wanted to reach out here but not feLt brave enough or worthy enough when i can see you have your own problems to deal with and there are so few of you always giving your time and precious support to those in need and I feel guilty drawing on your energy and time when i should be able to help m...	rainbow	14	838	Jul 31, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Different perspective .. (Preview) I do have to laugh we all got home however it was something. Spent the night at the airport I could have stood up a little more and probably gotten them to cover the hotel expense however .. you know it just wasn't worth it. LOL .. plus I figured well small airlines it's not like they are all going to talk to...	SerenityRUS	2	648	Jul 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	My own worst enemy .. (Preview) and I mean well however good grief ... I really set myself up to be my own worst enemy. Today I'm suppose to fly out and pick the kids up. I booked tickets ohhh way long ago like in June. I got to the airport just to check .. gotta love small towns I can just fly in and out at a whim Anyway .. same crazy lady I had...	SerenityRUS	7	701	Jul 30, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	C2C 7-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, July 30( my birthday incidentally), speaks about making a serious commitment to our recovery and that "finding happiness" is an inside job. It points out that we often are committed to happiness and working the program but at the first sign of trouble we abandon...	hotrod	4	542	Jul 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	havent been here in awhile. . need tlc (Preview) Well, i havent posted in awhile, id like to say its cuz im doing ok. .Which for the most part is true. But i realize staying away isnt good. Ive taken a new job. Working in a mental health clinic ft and summers as opposed to my former school job. the environment and peopke are FAR better. . Being away from hom...	Theoceancalls	5	785	Jul 30, 2015 by Debb
	A BAD Mutha - Shut your mouth! (Preview) Yes, I'm crazy. I've known this for a long time. Crazy and mean. Not mean in my soul, but mean on the surface from a lifetime of pain. I used to practice being mean in my head. I'm a professional. When someone stepped out of line, I could make them shrivel like a spider on a hot stove. And if no one was s...	almostThere	5	718	Jul 29, 2015 by missmeliss
	Oh the emotions! (Preview) I am trying with all my might to use my program tools and conduct my relationships in new healthier ways - but my emotions are scared as heck. One thing I've realized is that I typically have had a partner and friends who are not very sympathetic when things are hard. My parents were pretty dismissive of...	Mattie	17	845	Jul 29, 2015 by andromeda
	I'm so calm. (Preview) It just hit me. I have a fair amount going on...I share custody of 2 young kids that I'm present and engaged with, I'm navigating the emotions of divorce, drafted a legal separation mostly on my own, got our house repaired and under contract (fingers crossed the sale goes through), am getting my finan...	littlelionman	15	930	Jul 29, 2015 by Yankeerose
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.