Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Helpangel · Helpangel

Does anyone have the feeling that when you try and be social and make friends that something isn't right? It feels like I put off this vibe of insecurity and say the wrong thing a lot. How long after breaking things off with an alcoholic do u feel normal is their a "normal" class I can take?? The...

Skorpi · Skorpi

The moons must be aligned just so today... Seems that many people I work with are UPSET about something today. REALLY UPSET. And upset about policies and procedures that just are the way they are, and must be followed for good reason. Seems that folks are determined to be very upset, regardless of any...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

My goal is to stop looking for praise, reassurance, compassion, love and support from someone who is incapable of giving it. I have to learn to accept that he CAN'T do it, it's not that he doesn't want to, or I don't deserve it...he just can't. My love for myself and the love of other family and friends is p...

beGraceful · beGraceful

I just found out today that my family shunned me around 7 years or more ago telling others I am (or was) in jail for being a heroin addict. I know it sounds insane but my question is this...how do I shrug this off and get past it? I have no contact with any of them and apparently this is why. I have wondered for y...

RealitySucker · RealitySucker

Ha. I feel as if I could write a million posts with a million different questions but right now I need to vent and figure out how to best handle the immediate situation. AH has to attend a court-mandated class this weekend as a result of his DUI. It is a weekend-long course and it's 2.5 hours away from wher...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

well..my feelings of desperation have lessened greatly. ah's dad is helping with our bills and ah is sober..this minute.. Im not fooling myself. i know that this situation is still looming every day. I dont want to base my decesions on whether ah drinks or not. I still have to face myself. Thursdays ar...

lucymae · lucymae

I've been in Alanon for about 12 years now. I thought I had this whole thing figured out. I feel so lost, confused and empty. My husband doesn't drink anymore and quit due to a heart condition. He is still undiagnosed. I allowed myself to get sucked in feeling sorry and worried for him. I was oh such a good c...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 14 speaks about having choices. It suggests that before reacting to a situation that we can look into our hearts, review what choices we have and see what we need to do although we may not like the choices that we find we, do have choices and we can choose to. act responsibly.T...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Pray for me I can barely see at all. I am struggling w/ a cataract. It seems that it is blinding me. I hope that soon I can tell you all that I can read again as clear as day. I am frustrated to say the least. I want my vision back! It has been just over 2 years since I got a refractive lens exchange now I have a cata...

Shelby · Shelby

How to find the strength to move on after being married for 27 yrs going through verbal abuse?

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

All I can say is WOW on the meetings out here there is black belt Alanon everywhere it is wonderful. I love it. It's still be a little frustrating and so asking for prayers regarding work I haven't had anyone respond to anything yet so I think I need to change up my resume. I still have some options and I'...

hotrod · hotrod

Since I posted the C2C reading for today incorrectly yesterday, I am going to share on the ODAT reading for today It is an interesting reflection on a topic close to m heart. The reading suggests that many of us waste time and energy rehashing old wounds and dwelling on the past and that by doing this,...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

I don't know why this is happening. All day I've been planning on going to my second f2f. I'm an hour and a half away from leaving and my head is telling me why bother? He's gone and most likely will never return. You can go back to your strong self confident self now. Yet I believe that working the steps wi...

Elzbieta · Elzbieta

divorce I sign divorce papers after 38 years of marriage. All those years of my husband drinking and me being responsibility for everything I am on the point of being just myself. It is no easy but I am working my steps and using slogans to live and let live.

Jozie · Jozie

As Most know I have One Son, Now 18 :/ and on his Way to College this Weekend... I'm on such a Roller Coaster of Emotions that I think at times I'm Loosing my Mind.. I've Got really well at Hiding it from my Son, because I know he don't like to see mom cry and I don't want him to have any Ill Feeling about leaving...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

Background: 3 children, ages 12/9/2. 9 year old battles bipolar. I am the sole breadwinner. AH has been working the program since May after an arrest for public intoxication while caring for tthe kids. He used to be loving and fun in addition to calm and stern with the kids, even our 9 year old who can ge...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I went to my first meeting here in town the other day and boy did I have a good laugh at myself. I should add I had a good laugh with the God of my understanding. I was very proud of myself I was early 7AM meeting and as I watch the meeting fill I think to myself .. hmm .. there sure are a lot of men at this meetin...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all i know most of you do not live in England but just wanted to post on here that there is an AA convention with al anon participation in Liverpool England this Sunday. its at the Adelphi hotel liverpool city centre registration 9.30 am first al anon netting 10.30 if anyone fancys a visit to liverpoo...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

I feel a bit bad writing this. Some of you know my story already. Broke up a week and a half ago with my recovering A. It was the first time that I was angry and I mean ANGRY. He has a history of leaving (3times in the first year). I told him the last time that if he were to do it again not to come back. That was over a...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi again everyone, I just realized today's August 12 and not August 13. As a result of that mistake I posted an incorrect Courage to Change reading today. I am sorry for the confusion and here is a brief explanation of today's readingThe C2C reading for August 12 speaks about the third step and act...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for Thirsday, August 13 speaks about our habit of placing people on a pedestal--especially our sponsor. The reading explains that the answers that we receive from each others, including our sponsors are merely the experience, strength and hope of the person who has worked the p...

CoMom2010 · CoMom2010

Hello, here are my stats and thoughts tonight: learned Daughter (29) had alcohol problem 5 years ago during her Destination Wedding. they split 1 year later, she's full blown Alchie now, DUI, interlock, job losses during peak binges. i have had her live with me on & off to "regroup" .....

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone! Today's reading is about the realization that Alanon brings- 'we are not alone'. The first time someone offered that phrase to me it felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. Living with alcoholism-- as a child in an alcoholic home, and an adult in an alcoholic marriage was so is...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So im not sure if what about to post belongs here or not but im needing some encouragement and needed to turn somewhere. Fir the first time in a long time ive made decisions in my life fir me. . And yet im feeling worse than ever. Let me re cap, i finally left a job that although afforded me a fabulous schedule...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon asks some questions that serve as an effective reset when I find myself struggling with negative thoughts and feelings. The AlAnon program is not a magic pill that miraculously and permanently removes our troubled thoughts. The page notes that even when we'...

iceland333 · iceland333

I'm a deeply insecure person, with severe self-esteem issues. I have social anxiety and phobia and I've developed very codependent behavior throughout the years. So I'm basically a mess. There's a long, painful history that has pushed me onto this path, but I accept and realize that I'm ultimate...

runningwife · runningwife

Every, and I mean every, fight we have, it ends up being my fault. The fact he showed up at my company picnic and created a scene was fault. He is sad because it's my fault. I won't have sex with him and that's my fault. I'm creating attitudes in our children against him and that is my fault. Is it? Is there a ch...

glad · glad

Well dear friends first let me say hello! I've been away from this board for about 6 weeks or so. In way of excuse, I have been really messed up so much so that I couldn't even really come here to describe. being an alonon is not just about when we live with alcoholics I'm a true people pleaser to the point th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ha! Not sure what's going on with the whole cosmic order of things but it really seems that my HP has decided it's time to clear up all of the "stuff" surrounding my ex husband, one way or another. This Sunday daughter has a school event and so I am to take her to his house on friday night and then m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 10 speaks about clutter and how, as the result of living with the disease of alcoholism , many of us develop destructive tools to live by. Some are expressed in our housekeeping, such as clutter , shopping, obsessively cleaning, etc. It points out the clutter does not ha...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Made it all the way to Ft Worth, Texas .. LOL. It's been an adventure already which those who know me know that is always the case. Started at 2PM Saturday and literally at about 4AM Sunday morning decided that it might be a good idea to stop we were about 130 miles outside of Dallas and I just couldn't go a...

runningwife · runningwife

I am so anger and distrustful of the AH. Does it ever go away?

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I thought about what today's reading says about clutter. I have so much clutter that it is making me sick! I need to spend at least 15 minutes at a time on the weekends to go through my important stuff. After all, everything is important stuff. I don't like to spend more time than I have to. It all makes me fe...

ftrvr · ftrvr

My 36 yo son has had trouble with alcohol since he was a teenager. Three years ago I had told his girlfriend she didn't have to put up with his drinking when she told me she was becoming afraid of him when he drank. He found out I said that and has avoided me since then, except to call me when he was drinking a...

TrishaG · TrishaG

Hello, I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic deceased by suicide, my father.i am now an alcoholic and my heart aches for my daughter.i have joined AA many times and failed to stay sober. I work a very stressful job with lots of deadlines.i want her to know you all and would like to send her this website. P...

emma-jade · emma-jade

Hello, My name is Emma, and I'm hoping to connect with some people here on the forum. This is probably going to be pretty long, I have a lot to get off my chest and I'm hoping to find some people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to. I have been having a hard time and struggling with how to deal wi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Yikes. Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 9 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and the negative tools that we developed in order to do so. The big ones are: denial of reality and pretending that all is well.The reading suggests that prior to program we never were able to feel comfortable being ourselv...

misspaola · misspaola

Hello fellows, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. She hurt me really bad and I had to leave the relationship, but I still loved/love her. She is in denial about her drinking problem and her character defects (lying, manipulation), so the relationship was impossible to continue if I wanted to s...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about how to move out with your nonsupportive A still there in your face. It gave me strength, knowing what other people have been through, and just feeling the support. My mom and dad were concerned about the unfolding situation. These two 80...

stillsmilin321 · stillsmilin321

Hello, I've been quietly reading posts for a week or two and appreciate this board. I'm new here, having popped in and out of alanon for years in between relationships with active alcoholics. I eventuality quit dating 3 years ago because I was tired of the same patterns. About a year ago, I realized...

a4l · a4l

Feeling grateful, what a difference a year can make. I was absolutely strung out when I found this site, sleep deprived, raw nerved, miserable, confused and crazy feeling. Finally I asked for a half hour to myself, and sat typing away on my laptop. My phone was glued to this board for a solid two months....

mjferg · mjferg

I am becoming more and more aware of what I want out of life, and that is good,but at the same time my feelings are sometimes very overwhelming.The situation that I am dealing with right now is one of depression,(intense anger),panic attacks,anxiety,frustration,and disappointment.My daughter'...

Nana Benny · Nana Benny

Chaired a meeting this morning. At the end, someone shared that they felt unwanted and unwelcome after the announcements when a rep. stated to please keep the focus on alcoholism. And, there are other 12 steps groups for other addictions. I think I cross-talked by commenting to the group about th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sorry to bang on and on about this but it really helps to bring this here and talk my way through it while I'm implementing changes. Daughter starts her class tomorrow which is fine as it's not a "visitation' weekend anyway. Next week the class is actually on a break so her father is expecting her fo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 8 is a discussion on Step six, which states : we become entirely ready to have HP remove our shortcomings. The reading suggests that there is great fear, surrounding this step because we are afraid that many of our characteristics will be lost and we dont know what will be lef...

Lost and scared · Lost and scared

First and foremost, thank you for all of the posts. I've never been in a chat room before last night and find all that I've read comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm new to Al-Anon and have oh so many questions. Right now I'm simply wondering - does anyone actually ever find peace, happiness, love, unde...

confused_sister · confused_sister

When I see stories or pictures of happy siblings. Sometimes I get sad or jealous. Truth is, Ive never really had that. Yes, I have a brother but when I think of our relationship over the last 29.7 years, the memories are mostly bad. From beating me up as a child to the drug addiction, overdoses, lying abou...

ANCWife+Mom · ANCWife+Mom

So I always thought my husband may be an alcoholic but the past couple years it's really hit me. Watching him get to the point of urinating on himself about every time he's drank has made it very clear. One point last year he even defecated on himself and the pile of clothes he passed out on. I stepped in it w...

Canuck · Canuck

My husband is a drinking in the past 3 days he has consumed 60 0z, 26oz and 40oz bottles. I watched him in horror as he almost got sick yesterday but continued to drink while almost barfing. Then he was fine, out to a concert where you would never know he had been drinking. Drank 4 beer in 2 hours and...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I am a raw nerve right now. New job is high presure...clients are sicker than sick, organizational chaos is huge...though to be expected with total staff turnover and new ownership. They are still understaffed and fired 2 therapists this week. Having busted ass to finish up the last job while workin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...

Italylover23 · Italylover23

I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...

punkin · punkin

Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...

Getting Stronger in OH · Getting Stronger in OH

Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Don't even know what is normal anymore (Preview) Does anyone have the feeling that when you try and be social and make friends that something isn't right? It feels like I put off this vibe of insecurity and say the wrong thing a lot. How long after breaking things off with an alcoholic do u feel normal is their a "normal" class I can take?? The...	Helpangel	10	701	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	So much is about Perception... (Preview) The moons must be aligned just so today... Seems that many people I work with are UPSET about something today. REALLY UPSET. And upset about policies and procedures that just are the way they are, and must be followed for good reason. Seems that folks are determined to be very upset, regardless of any...	Skorpi	13	1035	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	Time to set a goal to keep from feeling disappointed. (Preview) My goal is to stop looking for praise, reassurance, compassion, love and support from someone who is incapable of giving it. I have to learn to accept that he CAN'T do it, it's not that he doesn't want to, or I don't deserve it...he just can't. My love for myself and the love of other family and friends is p...	CoopsMom	4	636	Aug 15, 2015 by Debb
	Shunned By Family (Preview) I just found out today that my family shunned me around 7 years or more ago telling others I am (or was) in jail for being a heroin addict. I know it sounds insane but my question is this...how do I shrug this off and get past it? I have no contact with any of them and apparently this is why. I have wondered for y...	beGraceful	5	684	Aug 15, 2015 by beGraceful
	Loving an alcoholic is becoming really inconvenient! (Preview) Ha. I feel as if I could write a million posts with a million different questions but right now I need to vent and figure out how to best handle the immediate situation. AH has to attend a court-mandated class this weekend as a result of his DUI. It is a weekend-long course and it's 2.5 hours away from wher...	RealitySucker	10	557	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	this too will pass (Preview) well..my feelings of desperation have lessened greatly. ah's dad is helping with our bills and ah is sober..this minute.. Im not fooling myself. i know that this situation is still looming every day. I dont want to base my decesions on whether ah drinks or not. I still have to face myself. Thursdays ar...	YARNCRAZY	4	415	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	So confused and sad. (Preview) I've been in Alanon for about 12 years now. I thought I had this whole thing figured out. I feel so lost, confused and empty. My husband doesn't drink anymore and quit due to a heart condition. He is still undiagnosed. I allowed myself to get sucked in feeling sorry and worried for him. I was oh such a good c...	lucymae	4	558	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 14 speaks about having choices. It suggests that before reacting to a situation that we can look into our hearts, review what choices we have and see what we need to do although we may not like the choices that we find we, do have choices and we can choose to. act responsibly.T...	hotrod	2	454	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	this will be quick...I can't see (Preview) Pray for me I can barely see at all. I am struggling w/ a cataract. It seems that it is blinding me. I hope that soon I can tell you all that I can read again as clear as day. I am frustrated to say the least. I want my vision back! It has been just over 2 years since I got a refractive lens exchange now I have a cata...	Hoot Nanny	6	556	Aug 14, 2015 by Debb
	Strength to move on (Preview) How to find the strength to move on after being married for 27 yrs going through verbal abuse?	Shelby	20	729	Aug 14, 2015 by Shelby
	Meetings .. (Preview) All I can say is WOW on the meetings out here there is black belt Alanon everywhere it is wonderful. I love it. It's still be a little frustrating and so asking for prayers regarding work I haven't had anyone respond to anything yet so I think I need to change up my resume. I still have some options and I'...	SerenityRUS	3	475	Aug 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 8-13 (Preview) Since I posted the C2C reading for today incorrectly yesterday, I am going to share on the ODAT reading for today It is an interesting reflection on a topic close to m heart. The reading suggests that many of us waste time and energy rehashing old wounds and dwelling on the past and that by doing this,...	hotrod	4	565	Aug 14, 2015 by The1975jen
	Need some encouragement (Preview) I don't know why this is happening. All day I've been planning on going to my second f2f. I'm an hour and a half away from leaving and my head is telling me why bother? He's gone and most likely will never return. You can go back to your strong self confident self now. Yet I believe that working the steps wi...	Lost and scared	22	740	Aug 14, 2015 by Jerry F
	divorce (Preview) divorce I sign divorce papers after 38 years of marriage. All those years of my husband drinking and me being responsibility for everything I am on the point of being just myself. It is no easy but I am working my steps and using slogans to live and let live.	Elzbieta	16	1138	Aug 14, 2015 by The1975jen
	Emotional Overload... (Preview) As Most know I have One Son, Now 18 :/ and on his Way to College this Weekend... I'm on such a Roller Coaster of Emotions that I think at times I'm Loosing my Mind.. I've Got really well at Hiding it from my Son, because I know he don't like to see mom cry and I don't want him to have any Ill Feeling about leaving...	Jozie	7	725	Aug 13, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Was alcohol to blame for his good parenting? sigh (Preview) Background: 3 children, ages 12/9/2. 9 year old battles bipolar. I am the sole breadwinner. AH has been working the program since May after an arrest for public intoxication while caring for tthe kids. He used to be loving and fun in addition to calm and stern with the kids, even our 9 year old who can ge...	EarlyBird	4	595	Aug 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	First meeting in new town!! (Preview) So I went to my first meeting here in town the other day and boy did I have a good laugh at myself. I should add I had a good laugh with the God of my understanding. I was very proud of myself I was early 7AM meeting and as I watch the meeting fill I think to myself .. hmm .. there sure are a lot of men at this meetin...	SerenityRUS	3	553	Aug 13, 2015 by Debb
	Convention (Preview) Hi all i know most of you do not live in England but just wanted to post on here that there is an AA convention with al anon participation in Liverpool England this Sunday. its at the Adelphi hotel liverpool city centre registration 9.30 am first al anon netting 10.30 if anyone fancys a visit to liverpoo...	Tracy	0	304	Aug 13, 2015 by Tracy
	Needy again (Preview) I feel a bit bad writing this. Some of you know my story already. Broke up a week and a half ago with my recovering A. It was the first time that I was angry and I mean ANGRY. He has a history of leaving (3times in the first year). I told him the last time that if he were to do it again not to come back. That was over a...	Lost and scared	5	594	Aug 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 8-12 (Preview) Hi again everyone, I just realized today's August 12 and not August 13. As a result of that mistake I posted an incorrect Courage to Change reading today. I am sorry for the confusion and here is a brief explanation of today's readingThe C2C reading for August 12 speaks about the third step and act...	hotrod	5	539	Aug 12, 2015 by gillygilly
	C2C 8-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for Thirsday, August 13 speaks about our habit of placing people on a pedestal--especially our sponsor. The reading explains that the answers that we receive from each others, including our sponsors are merely the experience, strength and hope of the person who has worked the p...	hotrod	2	527	Aug 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	New Member: Dealing with Alcoholic Daughter (Preview) Hello, here are my stats and thoughts tonight: learned Daughter (29) had alcohol problem 5 years ago during her Destination Wedding. they split 1 year later, she's full blown Alchie now, DUI, interlock, job losses during peak binges. i have had her live with me on & off to "regroup" .....	CoMom2010	12	716	Aug 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Aug 11 (Preview) Good morning everyone! Today's reading is about the realization that Alanon brings- 'we are not alone'. The first time someone offered that phrase to me it felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. Living with alcoholism-- as a child in an alcoholic home, and an adult in an alcoholic marriage was so is...	yanksfan51	4	563	Aug 12, 2015 by stillsmilin321
	what happened to me? (Preview) So im not sure if what about to post belongs here or not but im needing some encouragement and needed to turn somewhere. Fir the first time in a long time ive made decisions in my life fir me. . And yet im feeling worse than ever. Let me re cap, i finally left a job that although afforded me a fabulous schedule...	Theoceancalls	8	670	Aug 11, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	ODAT 8/11 - What Are We Doing About It? (Preview) Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon asks some questions that serve as an effective reset when I find myself struggling with negative thoughts and feelings. The AlAnon program is not a magic pill that miraculously and permanently removes our troubled thoughts. The page notes that even when we'...	Enigmatic	6	723	Aug 11, 2015 by hotrod
	I'm losing her, the love of my life (Preview) I'm a deeply insecure person, with severe self-esteem issues. I have social anxiety and phobia and I've developed very codependent behavior throughout the years. So I'm basically a mess. There's a long, painful history that has pushed me onto this path, but I accept and realize that I'm ultimate...	iceland333	9	803	Aug 11, 2015 by pinkchip
	Is it really my fault? (Preview) Every, and I mean every, fight we have, it ends up being my fault. The fact he showed up at my company picnic and created a scene was fault. He is sad because it's my fault. I won't have sex with him and that's my fault. I'm creating attitudes in our children against him and that is my fault. Is it? Is there a ch...	runningwife	16	806	Aug 11, 2015 by Doingmybest
	Hello Friends -long few weeks. (Preview) Well dear friends first let me say hello! I've been away from this board for about 6 weeks or so. In way of excuse, I have been really messed up so much so that I couldn't even really come here to describe. being an alonon is not just about when we live with alcoholics I'm a true people pleaser to the point th...	glad	7	447	Aug 11, 2015 by Jerry F
	Aha, this will be fun! (Preview) Ha! Not sure what's going on with the whole cosmic order of things but it really seems that my HP has decided it's time to clear up all of the "stuff" surrounding my ex husband, one way or another. This Sunday daughter has a school event and so I am to take her to his house on friday night and then m...	missmeliss	12	674	Aug 10, 2015 by LinSC
	C2C 8-10 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 10 speaks about clutter and how, as the result of living with the disease of alcoholism , many of us develop destructive tools to live by. Some are expressed in our housekeeping, such as clutter , shopping, obsessively cleaning, etc. It points out the clutter does not ha...	hotrod	5	593	Aug 10, 2015 by Debb
	We have arrived :) (Preview) Made it all the way to Ft Worth, Texas .. LOL. It's been an adventure already which those who know me know that is always the case. Started at 2PM Saturday and literally at about 4AM Sunday morning decided that it might be a good idea to stop we were about 130 miles outside of Dallas and I just couldn't go a...	SerenityRUS	6	558	Aug 10, 2015 by Debb
	When does the anger go away? (Preview) I am so anger and distrustful of the AH. Does it ever go away?	runningwife	5	597	Aug 10, 2015 by Debb
	relate to today's reading in the C2C (Preview) I thought about what today's reading says about clutter. I have so much clutter that it is making me sick! I need to spend at least 15 minutes at a time on the weekends to go through my important stuff. After all, everything is important stuff. I don't like to spend more time than I have to. It all makes me fe...	Hoot Nanny	3	464	Aug 10, 2015 by hotrod
	Son in Jail (Preview) My 36 yo son has had trouble with alcohol since he was a teenager. Three years ago I had told his girlfriend she didn't have to put up with his drinking when she told me she was becoming afraid of him when he drank. He found out I said that and has avoided me since then, except to call me when he was drinking a...	ftrvr	4	746	Aug 10, 2015 by Skorpi
	How to send my 25 year old daughter this site (Preview) Hello, I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic deceased by suicide, my father.i am now an alcoholic and my heart aches for my daughter.i have joined AA many times and failed to stay sober. I work a very stressful job with lots of deadlines.i want her to know you all and would like to send her this website. P...	TrishaG	9	653	Aug 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Frustrated and not sure what to do... (Preview) Hello, My name is Emma, and I'm hoping to connect with some people here on the forum. This is probably going to be pretty long, I have a lot to get off my chest and I'm hoping to find some people who have had similar experiences that I can talk to. I have been having a hard time and struggling with how to deal wi...	emma-jade	9	710	Aug 9, 2015 by hotrod
	Remind m not to say "bring it on" again...lol (Preview) Yikes. Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppo...	missmeliss	3	635	Aug 9, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 8-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 9 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and the negative tools that we developed in order to do so. The big ones are: denial of reality and pretending that all is well.The reading suggests that prior to program we never were able to feel comfortable being ourselv...	hotrod	3	445	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	haunted by alcoholic ex's path to destruction (Preview) Hello fellows, I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. She hurt me really bad and I had to leave the relationship, but I still loved/love her. She is in denial about her drinking problem and her character defects (lying, manipulation), so the relationship was impossible to continue if I wanted to s...	misspaola	6	726	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	update on moving out (Preview) Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post about how to move out with your nonsupportive A still there in your face. It gave me strength, knowing what other people have been through, and just feeling the support. My mom and dad were concerned about the unfolding situation. These two 80...	oceanpine	3	572	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	New-ish. Returning to Al-anon (Preview) Hello, I've been quietly reading posts for a week or two and appreciate this board. I'm new here, having popped in and out of alanon for years in between relationships with active alcoholics. I eventuality quit dating 3 years ago because I was tired of the same patterns. About a year ago, I realized...	stillsmilin321	8	668	Aug 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	a years time. (Preview) Feeling grateful, what a difference a year can make. I was absolutely strung out when I found this site, sleep deprived, raw nerved, miserable, confused and crazy feeling. Finally I asked for a half hour to myself, and sat typing away on my laptop. My phone was glued to this board for a solid two months....	a4l	8	546	Aug 9, 2015 by Mirandac
	it's time for action! (Preview) I am becoming more and more aware of what I want out of life, and that is good,but at the same time my feelings are sometimes very overwhelming.The situation that I am dealing with right now is one of depression,(intense anger),panic attacks,anxiety,frustration,and disappointment.My daughter'...	mjferg	4	589	Aug 9, 2015 by a4l
	Experience, strength, and hope from seasoned members about a meeting (Preview) Chaired a meeting this morning. At the end, someone shared that they felt unwanted and unwelcome after the announcements when a rep. stated to please keep the focus on alcoholism. And, there are other 12 steps groups for other addictions. I think I cross-talked by commenting to the group about th...	Nana Benny	4	551	Aug 8, 2015 by Nana Benny
	This call may be recorded... (Preview) Sorry to bang on and on about this but it really helps to bring this here and talk my way through it while I'm implementing changes. Daughter starts her class tomorrow which is fine as it's not a "visitation' weekend anyway. Next week the class is actually on a break so her father is expecting her fo...	missmeliss	13	762	Aug 8, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 8-8 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 8 is a discussion on Step six, which states : we become entirely ready to have HP remove our shortcomings. The reading suggests that there is great fear, surrounding this step because we are afraid that many of our characteristics will be lost and we dont know what will be lef...	hotrod	2	495	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Is there ever peace? (Preview) First and foremost, thank you for all of the posts. I've never been in a chat room before last night and find all that I've read comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm new to Al-Anon and have oh so many questions. Right now I'm simply wondering - does anyone actually ever find peace, happiness, love, unde...	Lost and scared	27	1062	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	-1 Brother (Preview) When I see stories or pictures of happy siblings. Sometimes I get sad or jealous. Truth is, Ive never really had that. Yes, I have a brother but when I think of our relationship over the last 29.7 years, the memories are mostly bad. From beating me up as a child to the drug addiction, overdoses, lying abou...	confused_sister	9	583	Aug 8, 2015 by confused_sister
	feeling resentful (Preview) So I always thought my husband may be an alcoholic but the past couple years it's really hit me. Watching him get to the point of urinating on himself about every time he's drank has made it very clear. One point last year he even defecated on himself and the pile of clothes he passed out on. I stepped in it w...	ANCWife+Mom	10	543	Aug 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	New here (Preview) My husband is a drinking in the past 3 days he has consumed 60 0z, 26oz and 40oz bottles. I watched him in horror as he almost got sick yesterday but continued to drink while almost barfing. Then he was fine, out to a concert where you would never know he had been drinking. Drank 4 beer in 2 hours and...	Canuck	9	681	Aug 8, 2015 by Mattie
	woosah... (Preview) I am a raw nerve right now. New job is high presure...clients are sicker than sick, organizational chaos is huge...though to be expected with total staff turnover and new ownership. They are still understaffed and fired 2 therapists this week. Having busted ass to finish up the last job while workin...	pinkchip	28	3338	Aug 7, 2015 by DavidG
	Manipulation x 1000 (Preview) I have been putting off a conversation with my mom .. UGH .. it is seriously not one I have wanted to have in the least. The whole thing about what state we are moving too. I feel badly and then I don't because she is soul sucking in many ways and doesn't mean to be I mean .. I know she loves me however seriousl...	SerenityRUS	12	795	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Success Stories (Preview) I have posted my "story" short as it may be for now being this is relatively "new" for me. What I am reading a lot about is misery, sadness and years and years of partners, spouses, etc dealing with addictions and multiple relapses. I want to know if there are any happy endings? Suc...	Italylover23	14	3040	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	it is a long road home... (Preview) Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I am constantly waiting for something. Something to arrive, my husband to get ready & a phone call. I am so glad that we have more patience than we have had in the past. What I am getting at is that we finally got our dryer installed Weds. It was a long wait but I thin...	Hoot Nanny	5	541	Aug 7, 2015 by bud
	Becoming more aware as time passes (Preview) My ah has been at of the house but definitely not out of my life. I am starting to become more aware of how I feel and what I want out of a relationship which is nice to be able to see clearly more. Weird thing happened when I kicked him out he got a lot of money from a house he sold. Well he has kept all the money and...	Helpangel	9	557	Aug 7, 2015 by almostThere
	What's Your Favorite Al-Anon Tool and How do you Use it? (Preview) I am in the 'change it up' mode - which for me means I need to grow. I've learned that to grow I need to stretch myself, so I am looking for ESH on your favorite Al-Anon Tools, and how best do you incorporate it into your day. I love, love, love the serenity prayer. I believe it adopted me almost more than I ad...	Iamhere	32	1072	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Ready to leave but can't leave my dogs! (Preview) Married 8 years, miserable for 8 years.......I've stayed because we have a beautiful home on a lake, live in a wonderful close knit community and have great friends here. He is well known and well liked in the community. No one knows what I go through.He is now drinking AND abusing pain killers! He was...	punkin	9	702	Aug 7, 2015 by milkwood
	Responding vs. Reacting (Preview) Hi everyone! I know in al-anon there is a way to respond and then the way a person who is sick reacts. I'm good at reacting. I've tried not to react. Sometimes I'll just get quiet, or try to use humor to defuse the situation. These methods are not working with my AW. I know there are words to say in resp...	gabigail	7	1599	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 7 speaks about the last three steps--- 10,11 and 12. It suggests that occasionally some members think of these as maintenance steps, but since we do not want to stagnate, it is best to think of them as growth steps. That no matter how old we get these last three steps let us co...	hotrod	3	554	Aug 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Finally followed through (Preview) Hi! I am new to this site. I recently asked my alcoholic husband to move out after he relapsed at least 3 times in the last year. We have been married for 13 years and living together for 15. Our very first fight over his abuse was before we were even engaged to be married. I told him at the time that I didn't si...	Getting Stronger in OH	6	626	Aug 7, 2015 by gabigail
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.