Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for August 24 speaks about anger and how we react to difficult situations. . It notes that many of us, react in an angry volatile manner our blood pressure doubles and we unleash a torrent of profanity without even thinking. The reading suggests that we stop reacting a...

Lyne · Lyne

My A just tried touching my arm today and I cringe. My romantic feelings stopped 5-10 years ago, and I'm not sure they can come back. My A is still active and self-destructive so I am not even trying to feel romantic. I did make amends because I know this hurts my A, but it was years of drinking, lying, sn...

catlover26 · catlover26

It just becomes so frustrating. I am dating an A that is 15 yrs older than me. He has been sober 30 years and told me he was in AA for 10yrs. He 'talks a good talk' about the 12 steps and working to have serenity in his life but for the most part he doesn't practice it. For several months his depression has gotte...

andromeda · andromeda

Why do alcoholics have to scare their children? My son just told me that his father has been getting bloodwork done last week because he thinks he has stomach cancer. My son said that 'dad is convinced he is dying'. Why do they burden their children with these things? I told my son that it is most like...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 23 speaks about perfectionism and the fear of making mistakes. Al-Anon gives us permission to make mistakes, explaining that we are human and that humans are imperfect. The best way to handle mistakes is to honestly admit them, so that we can be open to growth. It goes on to...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I just wanted to share with you that I celebrated my years in the program this week - definitely one of those bigger anniversaries. My sponsor spoke a little about my recovery and gave me my medallion at our meeting. We usually go for fellowship after just sponsor/sponsee so I can check in with her even...

carewithann · carewithann

After 30 yrs of marriage to a man who has been drinking till he passes out everyday for 12 years, I often contemplate leaving him for awhile to give him a wake up call, that I cannot live like this anymore and that he needs to at least cut back on his drinking. Frankly, he was very much the way he is now with t...

Annoner · Annoner

Help me take my hands off my adult alcoholic child and abusive relationship she is in

hiraeth · hiraeth

My mother is an alcoholic who can stay sober for a year or so then starts drinking again. This time around I'm feeling and behaving very differently about it, and it feels strange. Even though I know there's a real chance that she will die this time, I'm not doing anything to try to stop it, change the sit...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I need some perspectives on this one guys. I'm either doing a good job of looking out for myself or I'm being completely insensitive and selfish. Yesterday my ex AW's mother ends up in the hospital with shortness of breath and a fever. Pneumonia was considered a possibility so she was immediately p...

ataloss · ataloss

i have entertained the idea of joining al anon but at the same time I think I am in denial that my stbxh is an alcoholic. I will try to be brief about my story. We met in 1997 and married in 2004, we have 2 children 10yr old girl and 5 yr old boy. HIs father, who he barley knew, passed away in 2012 and that is whe...

Broken513 · Broken513

When do you realize you may want or need a sponsor. I have heard about them, just not quite sure how that works, not even quite sure what they do...lol...aside from the meaning of the word. I mean do I just announce would someone like to be my sponsor? or hey so and so would you like to be my sponsor? or does so...

LolaBleu · LolaBleu

Hello. I feel absolutely overwhelmed at this point. My husband just spent 2 weeks in a hospital with a bleed in his stomach, and then the "protocol" to detox him. This is the first time he has said that he knows that he cannot drink anymore. This came as an absolute shock to me. I married h...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I went to my morning AA home group and it was another goodie...The subject about trusting and relying upon our HP. The shares were real and honest and I attempted to keep mine in that condition also. I shared about trusting my HP within my amends process and not letting fear and guilt give me short cu...

Debb · Debb

One of the most difficult things for me to do, is to accept myself exactly as I am. I find, that I worry that I am not reacting in a loving and compassionate way. I tend to, not all the time, maybe twice a month, react in an abrupt way towards an annoying situation, this I am told by my family or co-workers. F...

Billie · Billie

i discovered last week that my AH is having an affair. He is getting ready to leave the marriage, I can feel it. I have been an emotional mess over the past week and have a long way to go. Am seeing a counsellor tomorrow. Something else has also happened - I have opened up to a couple of close friends. I had to m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 22 speaks about examining our motives so as we can truly uncover -why we say what we say and do what we do . It points out that once we engage in this activity,we may find that" fear" has ruled our lives. We were afraid to say" no"-, We were afraid to stand up...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

welll first let me say thank you, huge from those that repied to my "hes missing, . "post. Sooo heres the friday night update. Its my ah bday. . .Not usually an easy day. He has no relationahips with his family, he never committs to doing something for his bday, he tends to be hyper sensitive. ....

missmeliss · missmeliss

A came to visit a few days ago. It's the first time i have seen him for about 6 weeks. I was mad. Over the past 2 weeks I had tried to speak to him but he was always drunk, gambling and mean, so I had given up. He hadn't spoken to me for days and when he turned up he was a little drunk. Not much drunk, but enough to mak...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I get the wish over the cell phone as my wife is 2600 miles away on central west coast. No complaint as she is on vacation with the grandkids from her side of the family. I'm glad for her as much as I am happy for us and love her. Amazing that this program marriage has out lasted the two sick ones that...

andromeda · andromeda

I wanted to open up a discussion about love, when it comes to love in a romantic relationship, not within families or with our kids, etc. Recently I had a conversation with a few program girlfriends and we were talking about how deeply we loved our alcoholics/addicts. Most of us are single now or are d...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

Hello - I have returned to these pages recently and couldn't be more grateful to be here. My story is this.........My AH committed suicide 5+ years ago (my 2nd husband - not the father of my 2 children.) I have been dating a man for the past 9 months who has been sober 9 years and who attends AA daily as wel...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is an awesome one! The quote for today is... "Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us." ... As We Understood Today's reminder says: "Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of se...

Broken513 · Broken513

I am not sure what this actually falls under, maybe all 3. I think I had an AH HA moment or a realization or well maybe nothing at all and I should have just had a V8 this morning. I was sitting here talking with my Mother in Law, explaining to her that I have joined Al-Anon and my reasons why I feel it is right fo...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My adult AD, who stopped speaking to me in May, again, had lunch with her grandma (my mom) this past weekend. She did a great job of playing the victim, and my mom was totally drawn into her drama. The things she said, and admitted, to my mom, who subsequently then shared with me, left me speechless, sad, w...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-My A told me yesterday she found her HP, and described the close call she had with a speeding car. I know better than to jump with joy. My A doesn't admit she has a drinking problem. She does go to OA. Every 2-3 weeks either she fires her sponsor or the sponsor gives up on my A. All I can do is Let Go and Let God...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I know that AA and the program take time and I need to let my AH work his way through, but how home life seems stuck. His behavior reminds me of when he was drinking: he is angry, always negative, jumpy yet slow to get to his point when talking, he even slurs his words from time to time. I could swear he was drin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading in C2C talks about the slogan Live and let live. It suggests daily actions, Alanon tools and finding an Alanon sponsor to help us work the program and to better understand the slogans. One tool which is suggested in the reading is detachment. The reading says, "...many of m...

Debb · Debb

QTIP: Quit. Taking. It. Personally.When the guilt of the alcoholic explodes, I must realize that it is always aimed at those nearest, and often dearest. I want to remind myself that such outbursts only reveal the drinkers own unhappiness. I will not make the situation worse by taking seriously...

MFB · MFB

We three siblings have a fourth sibling who is an alcoholic who is a controlling manic depressive who now appears to be smoking crack. He is 60 yrs of age and lives with 80 year old mother. He is verbally and emotional abusive. Our concern is for our mother is that here quality of life is crap. She prob...

hiraeth · hiraeth

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SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm a tad frustrated .. lol .. I swear I have done good about not whining and complaining to badly about idiot boy .. sick idiot yes .. however sometimes an idiot is an idiot plain and simple. First off interview went well I think I'm on the payroll for a job I'm having some challenges taking the testing so I...

Broken513 · Broken513

Hi, I am not yet going to go into all of my details yet. It was recommended to me that I join a Al-Anon meeting. At the moment I am suffering depression and anxiety and cannot do group public meetings. So I of course googled...and found this and said well this is a start and lets go from here. I will give a few p...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Morning everyone! Last night my ah visited my daughter he read her a story and when I went to go check on her she busted down crying. She asked me if he was ever coming back and I said of course. i called up my sister crying and told her what happen she said never to let him around her again! I told her that my dau...

hotrod · hotrod

I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...

Jozie · Jozie

Ya know, Sometimes My HP Hits Me Like a Ton of Bricks, and when it is Normally "Stress Related or Drama Related" it Normally comes in way of a Migraine :/ Well its Here, So the Work has begun AGAIN... The Addicts in my Life are Coming at me From ALL Angles Now that My Son is In College, and its Only b...

confused2015 · confused2015

I really want to go physically to a meeting but with work, kids schedules, a husband who doesn't think he's an alcoholic, it's just hard. I'm not sure what all to say right now. Like my name says, I'm confused about many things. I know he's an alcoholic and I am living my life knowing it's not my fault. ...

andromeda · andromeda

I have a question. I am trying to decide if I can live with the way my new boyfriend handles affection. I am trying to figure out if it's my own emptiness from living with alcoholism for so long that is making me more needy and craving affection, or if it's just the fact that I need more from him than he is cap...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily in the ODAT discusses how our attitude towards another can affect the entire family. If we have the habit of tearing down another, showing our contempt for their actions or indignation when obligations are neglected, we contribute, create or add to the chaos of the disease. We are re...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have so much going on at the moment and it's all good, just very overwhelming so I'm Easy Does it .. Just Do It. Another court date will be coming and I am not pleased at the moment however whatever .. it is what it is. Tomorrow I have appointments for the kiddos for glasses .. hoping that the insurance fo...

Debb · Debb

DETACH Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

. . .And im not sure he cares or notices. Now i kno maybe im being a bit dramatic. . But heres my evening when i came home from work. . Mind you its 90*. . My daughter spent day with a sitter, thought my husb was working. . I come home to see my husb on the lake on a jetski . . He had left wrk early hooked up with some bu...

Dave2554 · Dave2554

As I am progressing in my recovery, and starting to get in touch with my own needs and wants after a lot of time putting them on the back burner while the disease ravaged our home, I am starting to grow concerned that so much of what I want to pursue are things that do not include or would even be of interest to...

Fairlee · Fairlee

hello! I have missed my MIP peeps and the wisdom, experience and knowledge that I am not alone in this crazy world of being married to an A. I have so much catching up to do! Summer has flown by and it is time for school to start. Nothing has changed in regards to my AH...more empty promises, more lies, more p...

Gem207 · Gem207

I've never done this before, because I've always been very independent about using resources. But I realized that right now I need to research and tell my story. I am 24 years old, and I've been through hell and back. I have recovered from many emotional traumas and I consider myself a very well functio...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really have to make this quick even though I don't want to. I am on my tablet trying to get it right. My mom is visiting for the week & I am not sure how much or how little I want to spend w/ her. She is not the same as she was when she lived here & I am nervous about having contact with her. So I have a dilem...

Jacq · Jacq

Hi my 1st post on here My fiancÃ© of 5yrs has admitted he has drug and alcohol problems. He has recently completed a detox program voluntarily. He has domestic violence charges against him at the moment and they are not the first sad to say. He is pressuring me to take him back but I think it's to early in t...

mvg · mvg

HI guys, this is my first time posting. I'm a little nervous, not sure what to expect here. I've been married to my AH for 13 years. He has been physically abusive a couple of times, that forced me to call the cops on him.. We have two young kids under 10. My AH doesn't get violent often but he is intimidating...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

I would like to order an Alanon book from Amazon. What do you suggest as a first book? There are so many and I'm trying to read all the reviews for them and most are pretty good. I live with a recovering alcoholic husband. I have trouble with martyrdom, high expectations, laying blame, being unable to fo...

carewithann · carewithann

Hello, I am new here, I attended Al anon meetings last year but they really upset me. It was a group of older women that had either lost their husbands to alcoholism or had ended up leaving them. It scared me to death about the future with my husband who still drinks heavily on a daily basis, as that is what...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I know that my AH has to deal with his court issues on his own since they are not my problems, but I can't help but worry because they outcome may very well be my problem. He is facing public intoxication charges in addition to three counts of child endangerment, which will definitely have fines we cann...

Debb · Debb

STEPS . Solutions. To. Every. Problem.If we have Al-anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power. When I am faced w...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Good morning everyone! I was at a neighborhood party and just had a thought while I'm talking to this guy--wow my husband would have really liked him--wow I really like this couple-- can't wait to hang out with them again. Oh wait-- I'm separated and no one in my neighborhood knows--oh wait I'll never g...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) holds a good reminder of what works most effectively to reduce the pain that we may feel from someone's drinking. Most who come to AlAnon have a long list of painful experiences that we have tried, unsuccessfully, to address on our own. The page notes that the ab...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all-My 92 year old mom was placed in a nursing home while her companion, 72, was in the hospital trying to have his foot saved. He is a rageful, diabetic, active alcoholic, and we could not tell him what was happening with my mom or we would have needed police intervention. Once we got my mom settled, my...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change reading for today is all about character defects, and the role they play for us. Before program, many of us used them to survive - such as denial or secrecy. Once we find and begin to work the Al-Anon program, these same two defects that served us well often become liabilities as t...

Enuff · Enuff

Hello Everyone, I'm a tired Newbie here, Oh where to start & as the topic suggests I will spare the intricate details. I'm 51 y/o and have been dealing with my alcoholic older sister for far too long, I would have taken a bullet for her even through all the abuse but I'm simply at the end of my tether. Th...

Debb · Debb

NUTS . Not. Using. The. Steps.When I read a step and think about it deeply, I find it opens the door to new insights. When I read that same step again, it reveals new spiritual ideas. They seem to dig into our consciousness and unearth for us the wonderful potential for good in all our relationships w...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Do you guys know how to function in a normal life? Did anyone learn it in adulthood? It seems so boring. But I don't want the alternative either. For me, I was built and developed around high-octane activities and situations. Now my life is very peaceful. But I don't know how to function in the mundane. I...

oceanpine · oceanpine

good morning, or whatever time of day it is in your corner of the world, I left my home six weeks ago. I am finally moved into my own place and ready for my children to start splitting their time between here and our family home, where my AH is stubbornly residing. School starts tomorrow, and our counselo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	C2C 8-24 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for August 24 speaks about anger and how we react to difficult situations. . It notes that many of us, react in an angry volatile manner our blood pressure doubles and we unleash a torrent of profanity without even thinking. The reading suggests that we stop reacting a...	hotrod	7	593	Aug 24, 2015 by Truth
	no romantic feelings for A (Preview) My A just tried touching my arm today and I cringe. My romantic feelings stopped 5-10 years ago, and I'm not sure they can come back. My A is still active and self-destructive so I am not even trying to feel romantic. I did make amends because I know this hurts my A, but it was years of drinking, lying, sn...	Lyne	9	774	Aug 24, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	He's been sober but won't let go of his depression (Preview) It just becomes so frustrating. I am dating an A that is 15 yrs older than me. He has been sober 30 years and told me he was in AA for 10yrs. He 'talks a good talk' about the 12 steps and working to have serenity in his life but for the most part he doesn't practice it. For several months his depression has gotte...	catlover26	7	514	Aug 24, 2015 by pinkchip
	XAH claims he has stomach cancer (Preview) Why do alcoholics have to scare their children? My son just told me that his father has been getting bloodwork done last week because he thinks he has stomach cancer. My son said that 'dad is convinced he is dying'. Why do they burden their children with these things? I told my son that it is most like...	andromeda	13	601	Aug 24, 2015 by littlelionman
	C2C 8-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 23 speaks about perfectionism and the fear of making mistakes. Al-Anon gives us permission to make mistakes, explaining that we are human and that humans are imperfect. The best way to handle mistakes is to honestly admit them, so that we can be open to growth. It goes on to...	hotrod	3	508	Aug 24, 2015 by Ifnotforgrace
	Alanon Anniversary (Preview) I just wanted to share with you that I celebrated my years in the program this week - definitely one of those bigger anniversaries. My sponsor spoke a little about my recovery and gave me my medallion at our meeting. We usually go for fellowship after just sponsor/sponsee so I can check in with her even...	tiredtonite	7	831	Aug 24, 2015 by tiredtonite
	To stay or go.? (Preview) After 30 yrs of marriage to a man who has been drinking till he passes out everyday for 12 years, I often contemplate leaving him for awhile to give him a wake up call, that I cannot live like this anymore and that he needs to at least cut back on his drinking. Frankly, he was very much the way he is now with t...	carewithann	9	717	Aug 24, 2015 by hiraeth
	Enabling (Preview) Help me take my hands off my adult alcoholic child and abusive relationship she is in	Annoner	5	590	Aug 24, 2015 by texas yankee
	feels weird this time round (Preview) My mother is an alcoholic who can stay sober for a year or so then starts drinking again. This time around I'm feeling and behaving very differently about it, and it feels strange. Even though I know there's a real chance that she will die this time, I'm not doing anything to try to stop it, change the sit...	hiraeth	15	624	Aug 23, 2015 by hiraeth
	Am I being selfish? (Preview) I need some perspectives on this one guys. I'm either doing a good job of looking out for myself or I'm being completely insensitive and selfish. Yesterday my ex AW's mother ends up in the hospital with shortness of breath and a fever. Pneumonia was considered a possibility so she was immediately p...	littlelionman	24	991	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	new here and at a loss of what to do (Preview) i have entertained the idea of joining al anon but at the same time I think I am in denial that my stbxh is an alcoholic. I will try to be brief about my story. We met in 1997 and married in 2004, we have 2 children 10yr old girl and 5 yr old boy. HIs father, who he barley knew, passed away in 2012 and that is whe...	ataloss	6	521	Aug 23, 2015 by Mattie
	How do I know when....just trying to do the right thing (Preview) When do you realize you may want or need a sponsor. I have heard about them, just not quite sure how that works, not even quite sure what they do...lol...aside from the meaning of the word. I mean do I just announce would someone like to be my sponsor? or hey so and so would you like to be my sponsor? or does so...	Broken513	7	751	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	New. Afraid. (Preview) Hello. I feel absolutely overwhelmed at this point. My husband just spent 2 weeks in a hospital with a bleed in his stomach, and then the "protocol" to detox him. This is the first time he has said that he knows that he cannot drink anymore. This came as an absolute shock to me. I married h...	LolaBleu	18	826	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	My Higher Power at work...I think I'll let him/her/it (Preview) I went to my morning AA home group and it was another goodie...The subject about trusting and relying upon our HP. The shares were real and honest and I attempted to keep mine in that condition also. I shared about trusting my HP within my amends process and not letting fear and guilt give me short cu...	Jerry F	10	575	Aug 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	How Can I Accept Who I Am (Preview) One of the most difficult things for me to do, is to accept myself exactly as I am. I find, that I worry that I am not reacting in a loving and compassionate way. I tend to, not all the time, maybe twice a month, react in an abrupt way towards an annoying situation, this I am told by my family or co-workers. F...	Debb	16	812	Aug 23, 2015 by Debb
	Betrayal (Preview) i discovered last week that my AH is having an affair. He is getting ready to leave the marriage, I can feel it. I have been an emotional mess over the past week and have a long way to go. Am seeing a counsellor tomorrow. Something else has also happened - I have opened up to a couple of close friends. I had to m...	Billie	28	990	Aug 23, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 8-22 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 22 speaks about examining our motives so as we can truly uncover -why we say what we say and do what we do . It points out that once we engage in this activity,we may find that" fear" has ruled our lives. We were afraid to say" no"-, We were afraid to stand up...	hotrod	3	467	Aug 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	update (Preview) welll first let me say thank you, huge from those that repied to my "hes missing, . "post. Sooo heres the friday night update. Its my ah bday. . .Not usually an easy day. He has no relationahips with his family, he never committs to doing something for his bday, he tends to be hyper sensitive. ....	Theoceancalls	6	599	Aug 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	:-( (Preview) A came to visit a few days ago. It's the first time i have seen him for about 6 weeks. I was mad. Over the past 2 weeks I had tried to speak to him but he was always drunk, gambling and mean, so I had given up. He hadn't spoken to me for days and when he turned up he was a little drunk. Not much drunk, but enough to mak...	missmeliss	10	780	Aug 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	Wedding Anniversary (Preview) and I get the wish over the cell phone as my wife is 2600 miles away on central west coast. No complaint as she is on vacation with the grandkids from her side of the family. I'm glad for her as much as I am happy for us and love her. Amazing that this program marriage has out lasted the two sick ones that...	Jerry F	10	517	Aug 22, 2015 by Jen61
	Let's talk about LOVE (Preview) I wanted to open up a discussion about love, when it comes to love in a romantic relationship, not within families or with our kids, etc. Recently I had a conversation with a few program girlfriends and we were talking about how deeply we loved our alcoholics/addicts. Most of us are single now or are d...	andromeda	29	1141	Aug 22, 2015 by PaulF
	Navigating Romantic Relationship (Preview) Hello - I have returned to these pages recently and couldn't be more grateful to be here. My story is this.........My AH committed suicide 5+ years ago (my 2nd husband - not the father of my 2 children.) I have been dating a man for the past 9 months who has been sober 9 years and who attends AA daily as wel...	Maine Girl	6	701	Aug 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change 8/20 (Preview) Today's reading is an awesome one! The quote for today is... "Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us." ... As We Understood Today's reminder says: "Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of se...	Iamhere	4	606	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	did'nt cause, can't Control it, can't Cure it ? (Preview) I am not sure what this actually falls under, maybe all 3. I think I had an AH HA moment or a realization or well maybe nothing at all and I should have just had a V8 this morning. I was sitting here talking with my Mother in Law, explaining to her that I have joined Al-Anon and my reasons why I feel it is right fo...	Broken513	6	1024	Aug 21, 2015 by Broken513
	Detachment is So Hard (Preview) My adult AD, who stopped speaking to me in May, again, had lunch with her grandma (my mom) this past weekend. She did a great job of playing the victim, and my mom was totally drawn into her drama. The things she said, and admitted, to my mom, who subsequently then shared with me, left me speechless, sad, w...	Green Eyes	9	601	Aug 21, 2015 by hotrod
	A found HP (Preview) Hi-My A told me yesterday she found her HP, and described the close call she had with a speeding car. I know better than to jump with joy. My A doesn't admit she has a drinking problem. She does go to OA. Every 2-3 weeks either she fires her sponsor or the sponsor gives up on my A. All I can do is Let Go and Let God...	Lyne	3	391	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dry Drunk (Preview) I know that AA and the program take time and I need to let my AH work his way through, but how home life seems stuck. His behavior reminds me of when he was drinking: he is angry, always negative, jumpy yet slow to get to his point when talking, he even slurs his words from time to time. I could swear he was drin...	EarlyBird	4	401	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 8/21 Live & Let Live (Preview) Today's reading in C2C talks about the slogan Live and let live. It suggests daily actions, Alanon tools and finding an Alanon sponsor to help us work the program and to better understand the slogans. One tool which is suggested in the reading is detachment. The reading says, "...many of m...	tiredtonite	5	741	Aug 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/21/15 ... QTIP (Preview) QTIP: Quit. Taking. It. Personally.When the guilt of the alcoholic explodes, I must realize that it is always aimed at those nearest, and often dearest. I want to remind myself that such outbursts only reveal the drinkers own unhappiness. I will not make the situation worse by taking seriously...	Debb	7	976	Aug 21, 2015 by serenity47
	Timing? (Preview) We three siblings have a fourth sibling who is an alcoholic who is a controlling manic depressive who now appears to be smoking crack. He is 60 yrs of age and lives with 80 year old mother. He is verbally and emotional abusive. Our concern is for our mother is that here quality of life is crap. She prob...	MFB	5	583	Aug 21, 2015 by MFB
	Do you do the steps once or over and over again? (Preview) ?	hiraeth	12	587	Aug 21, 2015 by DavidG
	Interesting day .. lol (Preview) I'm a tad frustrated .. lol .. I swear I have done good about not whining and complaining to badly about idiot boy .. sick idiot yes .. however sometimes an idiot is an idiot plain and simple. First off interview went well I think I'm on the payroll for a job I'm having some challenges taking the testing so I...	SerenityRUS	4	797	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to the group (Preview) Hi, I am not yet going to go into all of my details yet. It was recommended to me that I join a Al-Anon meeting. At the moment I am suffering depression and anxiety and cannot do group public meetings. So I of course googled...and found this and said well this is a start and lets go from here. I will give a few p...	Broken513	20	843	Aug 20, 2015 by carewithann
	Kids- how do u explain things to them (Preview) Morning everyone! Last night my ah visited my daughter he read her a story and when I went to go check on her she busted down crying. She asked me if he was ever coming back and I said of course. i called up my sister crying and told her what happen she said never to let him around her again! I told her that my dau...	Helpangel	10	592	Aug 20, 2015 by Helpangel
	Step 3 posted (Preview) I am back from camping Weather was great and I cooked out every night ( my idea of roughing it ). Thanks Iamhere, Debb and everyone who posted the daily thoughts. It is helpful Steps 3 has been posted to the step work board. Please join in an share your thoughts here is the link http://stepwork.acti...	hotrod	2	312	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Broken Boundaries... :/ (Preview) Ya know, Sometimes My HP Hits Me Like a Ton of Bricks, and when it is Normally "Stress Related or Drama Related" it Normally comes in way of a Migraine :/ Well its Here, So the Work has begun AGAIN... The Addicts in my Life are Coming at me From ALL Angles Now that My Son is In College, and its Only b...	Jozie	3	504	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Confused (Preview) I really want to go physically to a meeting but with work, kids schedules, a husband who doesn't think he's an alcoholic, it's just hard. I'm not sure what all to say right now. Like my name says, I'm confused about many things. I know he's an alcoholic and I am living my life knowing it's not my fault. ...	confused2015	7	559	Aug 20, 2015 by Debb
	Getting our needs met (Preview) I have a question. I am trying to decide if I can live with the way my new boyfriend handles affection. I am trying to figure out if it's my own emptiness from living with alcoholism for so long that is making me more needy and craving affection, or if it's just the fact that I need more from him than he is cap...	andromeda	30	1021	Aug 20, 2015 by Maine Girl
	One Day at A Time in Al-Anon - 8/19/15 (Preview) Today's daily in the ODAT discusses how our attitude towards another can affect the entire family. If we have the habit of tearing down another, showing our contempt for their actions or indignation when obligations are neglected, we contribute, create or add to the chaos of the disease. We are re...	Iamhere	4	592	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Many different things .. (Preview) I have so much going on at the moment and it's all good, just very overwhelming so I'm Easy Does it .. Just Do It. Another court date will be coming and I am not pleased at the moment however whatever .. it is what it is. Tomorrow I have appointments for the kiddos for glasses .. hoping that the insurance fo...	SerenityRUS	8	534	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/20/15 ... DETACH (Preview) DETACH Dont. Even. Think. About. Changing. Him/Her.How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into difficulties. I must detach myself from his shortcoming, neither making up for them nor criticizing them. Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him. If he fai...	Debb	3	570	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	he's missing her childhood. . . . (Preview) . . .And im not sure he cares or notices. Now i kno maybe im being a bit dramatic. . But heres my evening when i came home from work. . Mind you its 90*. . My daughter spent day with a sitter, thought my husb was working. . I come home to see my husb on the lake on a jetski . . He had left wrk early hooked up with some bu...	Theoceancalls	6	556	Aug 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Self Care ... Selfish ... or Self Defense? (Preview) As I am progressing in my recovery, and starting to get in touch with my own needs and wants after a lot of time putting them on the back burner while the disease ravaged our home, I am starting to grow concerned that so much of what I want to pursue are things that do not include or would even be of interest to...	Dave2554	7	656	Aug 20, 2015 by pinkchip
	How I have missed ya'll & giving up on the AH (Preview) hello! I have missed my MIP peeps and the wisdom, experience and knowledge that I am not alone in this crazy world of being married to an A. I have so much catching up to do! Summer has flown by and it is time for school to start. Nothing has changed in regards to my AH...more empty promises, more lies, more p...	Fairlee	5	532	Aug 19, 2015 by carewithann
	Trying to build a life with a high functioning alcoholic (Preview) I've never done this before, because I've always been very independent about using resources. But I realized that right now I need to research and tell my story. I am 24 years old, and I've been through hell and back. I have recovered from many emotional traumas and I consider myself a very well functio...	Gem207	25	3711	Aug 19, 2015 by Herbalist13
	feeling lonely but not alone (Preview) I really have to make this quick even though I don't want to. I am on my tablet trying to get it right. My mom is visiting for the week & I am not sure how much or how little I want to spend w/ her. She is not the same as she was when she lived here & I am nervous about having contact with her. So I have a dilem...	Hoot Nanny	4	380	Aug 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	What's best ??? (Preview) Hi my 1st post on here My fiancÃ© of 5yrs has admitted he has drug and alcohol problems. He has recently completed a detox program voluntarily. He has domestic violence charges against him at the moment and they are not the first sad to say. He is pressuring me to take him back but I think it's to early in t...	Jacq	7	610	Aug 19, 2015 by Fairlee
	First time posting- (Preview) HI guys, this is my first time posting. I'm a little nervous, not sure what to expect here. I've been married to my AH for 13 years. He has been physically abusive a couple of times, that forced me to call the cops on him.. We have two young kids under 10. My AH doesn't get violent often but he is intimidating...	mvg	13	624	Aug 19, 2015 by Jacq
	Alanon books (Preview) I would like to order an Alanon book from Amazon. What do you suggest as a first book? There are so many and I'm trying to read all the reviews for them and most are pretty good. I live with a recovering alcoholic husband. I have trouble with martyrdom, high expectations, laying blame, being unable to fo...	Yankeerose	9	1467	Aug 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	How to get past the guilt and focus on myself instead of him (Preview) Hello, I am new here, I attended Al anon meetings last year but they really upset me. It was a group of older women that had either lost their husbands to alcoholism or had ended up leaving them. It scared me to death about the future with my husband who still drinks heavily on a daily basis, as that is what...	carewithann	16	792	Aug 19, 2015 by Bethany66
	Looming Court Date (Preview) I know that my AH has to deal with his court issues on his own since they are not my problems, but I can't help but worry because they outcome may very well be my problem. He is facing public intoxication charges in addition to three counts of child endangerment, which will definitely have fines we cann...	EarlyBird	8	642	Aug 19, 2015 by Dave2554
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/19/15 ... STEPS (Preview) STEPS . Solutions. To. Every. Problem.If we have Al-anon, there is no need to stand in our own light and try to solve our problems in darkness. The ways and means that Al-anon offers have lighted the way for so many thousands of despairing people that no one can question their power. When I am faced w...	Debb	1	477	Aug 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	The life we all miss (Preview) Good morning everyone! I was at a neighborhood party and just had a thought while I'm talking to this guy--wow my husband would have really liked him--wow I really like this couple-- can't wait to hang out with them again. Oh wait-- I'm separated and no one in my neighborhood knows--oh wait I'll never g...	Helpangel	13	790	Aug 19, 2015 by Helpangel
	ODAT 8/18 - Why Polishing Our Halo Is a Bad Idea (Preview) Today's One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) holds a good reminder of what works most effectively to reduce the pain that we may feel from someone's drinking. Most who come to AlAnon have a long list of painful experiences that we have tried, unsuccessfully, to address on our own. The page notes that the ab...	Enigmatic	6	696	Aug 19, 2015 by carewithann
	compassion for an alcoholic (Preview) Hi all-My 92 year old mom was placed in a nursing home while her companion, 72, was in the hospital trying to have his foot saved. He is a rageful, diabetic, active alcoholic, and we could not tell him what was happening with my mom or we would have needed police intervention. Once we got my mom settled, my...	Lyne	4	733	Aug 18, 2015 by carewithann
	Courage to Change 8/17 (C2C) (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today is all about character defects, and the role they play for us. Before program, many of us used them to survive - such as denial or secrecy. Once we find and begin to work the Al-Anon program, these same two defects that served us well often become liabilities as t...	Iamhere	3	381	Aug 18, 2015 by Debb
	It's a long story but I'll spare you most details. (Preview) Hello Everyone, I'm a tired Newbie here, Oh where to start & as the topic suggests I will spare the intricate details. I'm 51 y/o and have been dealing with my alcoholic older sister for far too long, I would have taken a bullet for her even through all the abuse but I'm simply at the end of my tether. Th...	Enuff	14	628	Aug 18, 2015 by Debb
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/18/15 ... N.U.T.S. (Preview) NUTS . Not. Using. The. Steps.When I read a step and think about it deeply, I find it opens the door to new insights. When I read that same step again, it reveals new spiritual ideas. They seem to dig into our consciousness and unearth for us the wonderful potential for good in all our relationships w...	Debb	6	2172	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	don't know how to be normal (Preview) Do you guys know how to function in a normal life? Did anyone learn it in adulthood? It seems so boring. But I don't want the alternative either. For me, I was built and developed around high-octane activities and situations. Now my life is very peaceful. But I don't know how to function in the mundane. I...	hiraeth	7	508	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	minding my own business but supporting recovery for the A? (Preview) good morning, or whatever time of day it is in your corner of the world, I left my home six weeks ago. I am finally moved into my own place and ready for my children to start splitting their time between here and our family home, where my AH is stubbornly residing. School starts tomorrow, and our counselo...	oceanpine	4	780	Aug 18, 2015 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.