Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

oceanpine · oceanpine

I am trying to hard to focus on myself. I moved out 2 months ago and got my own place. We don't seem to be a typical couple affected by alcoholism, in that my AH is so focused on me, constant physical needs, will not give me space or honor boundaries. He wants togetherness, and I have fought for more space our...

Debb · Debb

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them ODAT pg 185. I personally choose to look at lifes difficulties as a way to learn and solve problems. I believe that each obstacle is a proven way to learn a better way of living. Never been one to sit and suffer, rath...

MayL · MayL

Really need some advice. Last summer, my sister finalized her divorce from her alcoholic husband of 10 years. She and her daughter lived with me and my family during the year and a half she worked through the divorce. She was working full time, going to school full time and being a single mom. We (me/hus...

mjferg · mjferg

It is day one after the funeral,and last night I woke up several times in the night,nights are bad,I have vivid dreams and I wake up with tears streaming down my face.I swear I can hear his voice and feel his presence beside me.I am going to be here a a lot,so bear with me.All I can do is write, and talk, and...

Hopeswims22 · Hopeswims22

can someone explain to me what are our symptoms from living with an alcoholic? All the time I hear that yes that is a symptoms? Is there a place I can find all the answers? I just started to read the blue book of AA thinking it would tell me there? thanks

mjferg · mjferg

It is evening and I have taken my daughter to work and I sit alone,well my 2 cats and my dog are at my side.They bring me comfort and a sense of life continuing.It was a beautiful day,I visited the correctional facility,it was a group of addicts who had minor crimes.It took me a while but I got the courage...

glad lee · glad lee

A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as con...

Aloha · Aloha

Relationships just always bring out these challenges in me. I was spending quite a bit of time with a friend of my brother's, who I know has developed a more-than-friends interest in me. I'm trying real hard to do things different and I know one of my important criteria I have now for possible future lon...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 9 speaks about the miracle of attending a meeting and listening with an open mind. It suggests if we do so ,inevitably somebody at the meeting will share something that we so desperately need to hear and a new door opens .This is true of coming to MIP and reading the postings...

Debb · Debb

According to disability studies specialist Lennard J. Davis, historically, the concept of co-dependence comes directly out of Alcoholics Anonymous (thought that interesting to learn), part of a dawning realization that the problem was not solely the addict, but also the family and friends w...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

S = Stop enabling, stop blaming yourself, and stop the flow of money A = Assemble a support group N = Nip excuses in the bud I = Implement boundaries T = Trust your instincts Y = Yield everything to God.Hi EveryoneMy son is continuing to grow and is doing well. I came across these messages and they brough...

muse00 · muse00

Long story short, my AH of 9 years, who has been my best friend of almost 20, has relapsed again. He's using less than he was at the height of his addiction and yet his acts are even crazier. He has resorted to stealing money out of my personal bank account and pawning my personal belongings. It was the last...

mjferg · mjferg

It still doesn't seem real that my ex is gone and I will never get the chance to sit and talk with him again.I have my dress ready and I am dreading tomorrow.I am grieving hard already and the funeral is going to be so final.I feel like I can't breathe and there is such an emptiness in my heart.I don't want to d...

mjferg · mjferg

The funeral was a good closure for me.There were a lot of people there,family,friends,everyone had a heavy heart because of the way he died.A lot of disrespect also,drinking buddies,reeking of alcohol,one of them drinking outside,And these were the people he rushed off to be with, and they will be...

el-cee · el-cee

Its a normal thing that happens to people, its biology, nature really. No need to shout about it? Well, ive been bitter, angry and resentful for so long due this disease i have that its a miracle. Ive allowed someone in, a miracle. Whether it works out or not, its happening, ive opened my mind wide enough...

CE · CE

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- Today's reading speaks to the strength and serenity that working the program can bring into our lives. The writer admits that as a young wife and mother she was attenpting to fill any voids she felt with her family, volunteering, attending church, working etc. They were al...

JukuVee · JukuVee

No matter how bad it gets, it keeps getting worse! This morning I couldn't find my glasses. Last thing I remembered they were on the bed. So I was looking under the bed for them. I didn't find my glasses. I did find a digital recording device. My A has been listening to all my phone conversations that I h...

Kab915 · Kab915

So, I started a post out earlier today, but it had been abandoned as situations changed. This is only my second time posting here and I'm still very new to Al-Anon. My ABF has been abstaining from alcohol for three months. No recovery program (1 AA meeting and then he tried to do it himself, which was just...

veechee73 · veechee73

I've only been to a handful of Al-Anon meetings so far so I am very new to this. Well, not to living with an alcoholic, but to Al-Anon. I do not have a sponsor yet and here I am at 12:30am being disrupted by my alcoholic after I had gone to bed at 10:30. What do I do at this time when there are no meetings and no...

confused2015 · confused2015

Okay, I just need some advise. So my AH has been told that I am not living with him if he drinks, whether it be one time or 1000 times, he knows I am over it and don't want it in my life anymore. So as of last Thursday he has not drank as far as I know, anyhow. So this Sunday he has a golf outing, I will be out of tow...

mjferg · mjferg

Today I bury the love of my life.I feel like I am in fog.I feel so dead inside.What can I say about the man who fought this demon.His smile would light up a whole room.He helped the less fortunate,he took food to friends who didn't have anything to eat.We helped other people,we took soap to a man who was hi...

Debb · Debb

Resentment is anger resent, it goes round and round resending the feelings. ~ Al-anon Resentment is anger that seems to never end unless you want it to! Resentment stunts growth and eventually it can and will make us sick. It is said that, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the othe...

shattered · shattered

Hi, I'm new here. My therapist had been recommending al anon for awhile, but now I'm ready. I will be attending my first meeting tomorrow night. Looking through all your stories, it really helps ease a fraction of the pain knowing that I'm not alone, and seeing so many similar stories to mine. I hav...

mjferg · mjferg

After hearing about my ex dying,I went numb for a while but now the feelings and the memories are flooding back,I cry every day,many times.I am waking up at night.I think about the way he died, alone, and I was right here.I was always here for him until things got so bad in my life and I had to let him go and no...

Fairlee · Fairlee

I'm stuck. I do ok, then I'm right back in the muck again! Checking myself is really helping me to own my stuff, but one thing that is really tripping me up is detaching with love. I am harboring tons of resentment. AH and I recently had yet another conversation where I poured out my heart to him and told him...

Debb · Debb

Denial is the shock absorber for the soul. It protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality. ~ C.S. Lewis Denial is a disbelief in the existence or reality in a thing. In Al-Anon, denial is when we hide how we feel, what we experience, and what we know. Even when good sense tells us something is w...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

today, i feel confused. some days i feel strong and positive that i will do fine if i leave ah [after 25yrs] Today, things are mellow because ah is not drinking and trying to get some money/court things fixed. I think my decesion is a good one, then i think..oh i can deal with it being dull, but i know, he wil...

Nvrdnths · Nvrdnths

It's been a week since I told him to leave; after 2 consecutive years. Our relationship started in 2010 and was rocky due to his drinking...he did make 'changes and adjustments' but never a full commitment to stop. He was drinking on the weekends which consisted of 6-9 on Fridays and Satudays and 6 Sund...

Lyne · Lyne

I was just telling my sponsor that I feel connected to a community of people, who are all trying to improve themselves, and all of them have connected to an HP of their understanding, and if I think about all the people in my F2F, on this board, others who belong to alanon, and all of them connecting to a hig...

el-cee · el-cee

... doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. By this definition then my insanity comes and goes depending on how well Im working this programme. If im on my game going to meetings, sharing with my sponsor, meditating, in contact with my higher power, reading the books etc...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I have bitten off a lot to chew on. The clients themselves are very challenges as most all are heroin addicts in the 20 to 26 age range and many don't want to really get sober. They want to get rent free living and either keep using or relapse with little consequence. They whine and complain even more th...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 7 talks about Tradition Seven, which states that" Every group should be fully self-supporting declining outside contributions". Anytime I review the Traditions I always look to see how they can be applied to my own life and circumstances outside the ro...

confused2015 · confused2015

So last night, after a week long binge of 5+ beers, generally at least 10. I had had enough. We were talking cause he says I never talk to him, which is partially true, he's either drinking or we are running our kids all different places in opposite directions, and he said something and I just said I can'...

mjferg · mjferg

Services are on Tuesday for my ex,I am asking for prayers,I am not doing well,I have never felt so much pain and grief in my life, and I am so angry at this disease.

texasgal · texasgal

As I go through my life. The only true friendships I have made are from people from the program. Just recently I have lost another friendship. They are not a part of alanon and don't understand why I go since I am divorced from my exAh. They lied to me yet again last night. Recently they have been lying abt w...

JukuVee · JukuVee

my A has apparently been smoking crack Too! He just dropped this bombshell on me today. I don't know how I could have been so blind as to not know. People even asked me if he had a drug problem and I said oh no he would never do that! I feel like such an idiot! I don't know why he told me this Now. It doesn't mak...

milkwood · milkwood

On instruction from our marriage counsellor I've just done a list of things that I appreciate about my husband. I think that my expectation was that this was meant to make me feel better about him and I started the list thinking 'oh darn, why do I have to spend time rooting around for good stuff?' By the e...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

AH is severely ill with his drinking and supposedly entering rehab soon. So my cousin called and sent some money and said to treat myself. I really realize now, after 1 1/2 yrs at ALANON that when i take my thoughts away from my AH, and put them on myself, I realized that I hadnt been addressing my panic/an...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 6 speaks about the slogan:":How important is it". The reading states that many of us obsess over something that might be irritating us in the moment , telling ourselves that this is a very important issue. .If we actually stopped and asked ourselves the qu...

Mistral · Mistral

Hi Everyone, I'd like to pick up some inspirational self-help books about setting/maintaining boundaries with my alcoholic boyfriend, detaching with love, and to stop obsessing over his behaviors. What have you all read that you drew inspiration from? Is there particular Al-Anon literature...

confused2015 · confused2015

So today is the first time my AH and I have really talked for a couple weeks. He left on Wednesday night, came home Thursday, after telling me he loved me, the kids, and didn't want to leave. I actually told him to leave. Anyhow, I know he loves us but I told him I cold not live like this anymore. So today w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 5 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. The reading points out that many of us lists feelings as shortcomings and ask HP to lift our feelings of anger, fear and guilt, so we can look forward to a day of it would not have to feel this t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm soooo glad the week is over with .. LOL .. I'm good with never seeing last week again. I have felt very helpless with so many things that have been out of my control .. starting with a job .. having to deal with my mom who means well however if it wasn't for the kids I would rather be homeless. My sponsors...

mjferg · mjferg

I recently posted about my ex being found dead and today I am going to see his sister,we were close,she really liked me.I don't know all the details yet,but there may be a girlfriend involved so I want to decide if it would be appropriate to go to the funeral home or not,it doesn't seem real, I think I need s...

JukuVee · JukuVee

we are not legally married but we have been living together for 22 years. We bought a house together 1998. I paid the down payment but because at the time we were in love and were planning on getting married I gave him 20% ownership on the deed even though I didn't have to. That was dumb. Not only has he bitte...

scootypuffjunior · scootypuffjunior

I posted a few weeks ago about my step mother who was suffering from end stage liver disease. She died early this morning while the nurses were bathing her. She stopped breathing, and they did not attempt to resuscitate her due to a DNR order her next of kin had signed when all of this started. I didn'...

Cammi45 · Cammi45

I am new here. I have been trying to find the courage to look for an online group for a very long time now. I grew up in an alcoholic home. My father found sobriety, which saved our family. My sister battled alcoholism and found AA, which has helped to save her own family. I married a man whom I love dear...

nightowl · nightowl

Hi everyone. Let me start off by saying: I am sorry if my post is breaking any message board rules in any way. Just about 7 hours ago my world kind of came crashing down (again) when my (recovering) ABF was discovered drinking again by one of our mutual friends. I didn't know where to turn, so here I am now. ...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My beautiful wonderful sponsor is battling some big health issues at the moment. She's been through so much and ironically takes such good care of herself that I'm totally blown away by all of this. Could you please lift her up in prayer .. she is such a warrior goddess that I just can see her beating th...

hotrod · hotrod

Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60818767/alanon-step-4-9-15/Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together

gabigail · gabigail

HI everyone! Well, it's fall and my life is crazy again with school, working two jobs, and trying to juggle everything. It's been a crazy August and I haven't been working on myself as much as I'm getting back into my busy mode. I am getting little or no help with my A, as has been the case, even though he...

chasingstars · chasingstars

Never did I feel I would be in this position but here we are... After a really nasty custody battle we have found out that my husbands ex wife has been on methadone for over a year and a half after we found her passed out in her car outside of my husbands work. There was no reasoning afterwards and since we ha...

Mandy22 · Mandy22

Hello everyone! I am the girlfriend to a sober alcoholic. He was sober for 5 years when we met, then relapsed a year into our relationship. He's now been sober since July 28, 2014 but last week I found out that he's also a sex addict. I was absolutely heartbroken. I'm feeling betrayed, sad, depress...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still hanging in. Less than two weeks to go. I am still anxious a bit but I know it will be alright. I am so grateful for all of you & your support. A lot of people have been praying for me & I really appreciate it. Sometimes I want to scream or cry or whatever I am feeling at the moment. My emotions a...

mjferg · mjferg

I just received the news I have been dreading,My ex was found dead today.I am kind of in shock right now,not sure what I am feeling.They are taking him for an autopsy,possible overdose.Of course I feel overwhelming sadness right now,also, I am wondering if I did the right thing,questions,so many qu...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading the September 4 speaks about what happens when we begin to let go of our anger and worry and stop focusing on everyone but ourselves. The reading suggests that many of us find that we are in increasing calmness of mind and have a great deal of extra time.It also points out that we know how to...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 2 speaks about the first step. It points our that in the beginning we do a lot of thinking about the words,Admitting, Powerlessness and life being unmanageable .Later on we tend to do a lot of feelings about it as well. The feeling work can be described, mostly in one wo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 3 speaks about coming into Al-Anon and finding that we have built a lifetime of dreams and promises reserved for a special day called:" Someday" . It points out that we tell ourselves that "someday", I'll call my friend that I lost touch with, &...

daze · daze

I have been sick all day today at school but held it together until I got home and promptly threw-up. I have all the platitudes and sayings running in my head and I am trying but it just isn't helping today. I know from past experience this is only going to get worse before it can get any better and we aren't c...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	what now? (Preview) I am trying to hard to focus on myself. I moved out 2 months ago and got my own place. We don't seem to be a typical couple affected by alcoholism, in that my AH is so focused on me, constant physical needs, will not give me space or honor boundaries. He wants togetherness, and I have fought for more space our...	oceanpine	4	729	Sep 10, 2015 by deacon
	Definition for 9/10/15 – Stumbling Block & Stepping Stones (Preview) The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them ODAT pg 185. I personally choose to look at lifes difficulties as a way to learn and solve problems. I believe that each obstacle is a proven way to learn a better way of living. Never been one to sit and suffer, rath...	Debb	2	2626	Sep 10, 2015 by hotrod
	HELP: Sister pregnant by drug addict/alcholic (Preview) Really need some advice. Last summer, my sister finalized her divorce from her alcoholic husband of 10 years. She and her daughter lived with me and my family during the year and a half she worked through the divorce. She was working full time, going to school full time and being a single mom. We (me/hus...	MayL	4	802	Sep 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Day one (Preview) It is day one after the funeral,and last night I woke up several times in the night,nights are bad,I have vivid dreams and I wake up with tears streaming down my face.I swear I can hear his voice and feel his presence beside me.I am going to be here a a lot,so bear with me.All I can do is write, and talk, and...	mjferg	10	793	Sep 10, 2015 by 1911A1
	Confused looking for answers (Preview) can someone explain to me what are our symptoms from living with an alcoholic? All the time I hear that yes that is a symptoms? Is there a place I can find all the answers? I just started to read the blue book of AA thinking it would tell me there? thanks	Hopeswims22	4	722	Sep 9, 2015 by pinkchip
	the loss of a dream (Preview) It is evening and I have taken my daughter to work and I sit alone,well my 2 cats and my dog are at my side.They bring me comfort and a sense of life continuing.It was a beautiful day,I visited the correctional facility,it was a group of addicts who had minor crimes.It took me a while but I got the courage...	mjferg	3	645	Sep 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Control (Preview) A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as con...	glad lee	22	4515	Sep 9, 2015 by oceanpine
	I so hate feeling uncomfortable (Preview) Relationships just always bring out these challenges in me. I was spending quite a bit of time with a friend of my brother's, who I know has developed a more-than-friends interest in me. I'm trying real hard to do things different and I know one of my important criteria I have now for possible future lon...	Aloha	7	782	Sep 9, 2015 by Aloha
	C2C 9-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 9 speaks about the miracle of attending a meeting and listening with an open mind. It suggests if we do so ,inevitably somebody at the meeting will share something that we so desperately need to hear and a new door opens .This is true of coming to MIP and reading the postings...	hotrod	3	578	Sep 9, 2015 by milkwood
	Definition for 9/9/15 – Codependency & The 4 M’s (Preview) According to disability studies specialist Lennard J. Davis, historically, the concept of co-dependence comes directly out of Alcoholics Anonymous (thought that interesting to learn), part of a dawning realization that the problem was not solely the addict, but also the family and friends w...	Debb	3	3365	Sep 9, 2015 by milkwood
	Just some reminders (Preview) S = Stop enabling, stop blaming yourself, and stop the flow of money A = Assemble a support group N = Nip excuses in the bud I = Implement boundaries T = Trust your instincts Y = Yield everything to God.Hi EveryoneMy son is continuing to grow and is doing well. I came across these messages and they brough...	Cathyinaz	7	842	Sep 9, 2015 by Green Eyes
	My heart aches as I prepare for the worst (Preview) Long story short, my AH of 9 years, who has been my best friend of almost 20, has relapsed again. He's using less than he was at the height of his addiction and yet his acts are even crazier. He has resorted to stealing money out of my personal bank account and pawning my personal belongings. It was the last...	muse00	7	791	Sep 8, 2015 by Mattie
	getting ready to say goodbye (Preview) It still doesn't seem real that my ex is gone and I will never get the chance to sit and talk with him again.I have my dress ready and I am dreading tomorrow.I am grieving hard already and the funeral is going to be so final.I feel like I can't breathe and there is such an emptiness in my heart.I don't want to d...	mjferg	14	800	Sep 8, 2015 by mjferg
	closure (Preview) The funeral was a good closure for me.There were a lot of people there,family,friends,everyone had a heavy heart because of the way he died.A lot of disrespect also,drinking buddies,reeking of alcohol,one of them drinking outside,And these were the people he rushed off to be with, and they will be...	mjferg	9	648	Sep 8, 2015 by mjferg
	it seems that i am in love!!! (Preview) Its a normal thing that happens to people, its biology, nature really. No need to shout about it? Well, ive been bitter, angry and resentful for so long due this disease i have that its a miracle. Ive allowed someone in, a miracle. Whether it works out or not, its happening, ive opened my mind wide enough...	el-cee	11	864	Sep 8, 2015 by el-cee
	I don't know where to start (Preview)	CE	13	979	Sep 8, 2015 by LinSC
	Hope for Today sept 8 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- Today's reading speaks to the strength and serenity that working the program can bring into our lives. The writer admits that as a young wife and mother she was attenpting to fill any voids she felt with her family, volunteering, attending church, working etc. They were al...	yanksfan51	3	643	Sep 8, 2015 by Debb
	It just keeps getting worse! (Preview) No matter how bad it gets, it keeps getting worse! This morning I couldn't find my glasses. Last thing I remembered they were on the bed. So I was looking under the bed for them. I didn't find my glasses. I did find a digital recording device. My A has been listening to all my phone conversations that I h...	JukuVee	10	835	Sep 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Fell off the wagon as I wrote... (Preview) So, I started a post out earlier today, but it had been abandoned as situations changed. This is only my second time posting here and I'm still very new to Al-Anon. My ABF has been abstaining from alcohol for three months. No recovery program (1 AA meeting and then he tried to do it himself, which was just...	Kab915	12	830	Sep 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	What to do in the middle of the night (Preview) I've only been to a handful of Al-Anon meetings so far so I am very new to this. Well, not to living with an alcoholic, but to Al-Anon. I do not have a sponsor yet and here I am at 12:30am being disrupted by my alcoholic after I had gone to bed at 10:30. What do I do at this time when there are no meetings and no...	veechee73	8	964	Sep 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Stop the drink (Preview) Okay, I just need some advise. So my AH has been told that I am not living with him if he drinks, whether it be one time or 1000 times, he knows I am over it and don't want it in my life anymore. So as of last Thursday he has not drank as far as I know, anyhow. So this Sunday he has a golf outing, I will be out of tow...	confused2015	6	618	Sep 8, 2015 by Debb
	how do I say a final goodbye (Preview) Today I bury the love of my life.I feel like I am in fog.I feel so dead inside.What can I say about the man who fought this demon.His smile would light up a whole room.He helped the less fortunate,he took food to friends who didn't have anything to eat.We helped other people,we took soap to a man who was hi...	mjferg	7	726	Sep 8, 2015 by Jen61
	Definition for 9/7/15 – Resentment (Preview) Resentment is anger resent, it goes round and round resending the feelings. ~ Al-anon Resentment is anger that seems to never end unless you want it to! Resentment stunts growth and eventually it can and will make us sick. It is said that, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the othe...	Debb	2	624	Sep 8, 2015 by confused2015
	My world is shattered: another typical story (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. My therapist had been recommending al anon for awhile, but now I'm ready. I will be attending my first meeting tomorrow night. Looking through all your stories, it really helps ease a fraction of the pain knowing that I'm not alone, and seeing so many similar stories to mine. I hav...	shattered	10	888	Sep 8, 2015 by confused2015
	grief (Preview) After hearing about my ex dying,I went numb for a while but now the feelings and the memories are flooding back,I cry every day,many times.I am waking up at night.I think about the way he died, alone, and I was right here.I was always here for him until things got so bad in my life and I had to let him go and no...	mjferg	14	1000	Sep 8, 2015 by GreenerGal
	What does detaching with love look like in your life? (Preview) I'm stuck. I do ok, then I'm right back in the muck again! Checking myself is really helping me to own my stuff, but one thing that is really tripping me up is detaching with love. I am harboring tons of resentment. AH and I recently had yet another conversation where I poured out my heart to him and told him...	Fairlee	17	977	Sep 8, 2015 by hiraeth
	Definition for 9/8/15 – Denial (Preview) Denial is the shock absorber for the soul. It protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality. ~ C.S. Lewis Denial is a disbelief in the existence or reality in a thing. In Al-Anon, denial is when we hide how we feel, what we experience, and what we know. Even when good sense tells us something is w...	Debb	3	2248	Sep 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	CONFUSED (Preview) today, i feel confused. some days i feel strong and positive that i will do fine if i leave ah [after 25yrs] Today, things are mellow because ah is not drinking and trying to get some money/court things fixed. I think my decesion is a good one, then i think..oh i can deal with it being dull, but i know, he wil...	YARNCRAZY	5	575	Sep 8, 2015 by milkwood
	Tired of being the enabler... (Preview) It's been a week since I told him to leave; after 2 consecutive years. Our relationship started in 2010 and was rocky due to his drinking...he did make 'changes and adjustments' but never a full commitment to stop. He was drinking on the weekends which consisted of 6-9 on Fridays and Satudays and 6 Sund...	Nvrdnths	7	816	Sep 8, 2015 by milkwood
	my alanon community (Preview) I was just telling my sponsor that I feel connected to a community of people, who are all trying to improve themselves, and all of them have connected to an HP of their understanding, and if I think about all the people in my F2F, on this board, others who belong to alanon, and all of them connecting to a hig...	Lyne	9	668	Sep 8, 2015 by Green Eyes
	Insanity is... (Preview) ... doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. By this definition then my insanity comes and goes depending on how well Im working this programme. If im on my game going to meetings, sharing with my sponsor, meditating, in contact with my higher power, reading the books etc...	el-cee	6	1080	Sep 7, 2015 by Fairlee
	So...the job. Challenges are stressing me out but making me grow (Preview) I have bitten off a lot to chew on. The clients themselves are very challenges as most all are heroin addicts in the 20 to 26 age range and many don't want to really get sober. They want to get rent free living and either keep using or relapse with little consequence. They whine and complain even more th...	pinkchip	10	630	Sep 7, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C 9-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 7 talks about Tradition Seven, which states that" Every group should be fully self-supporting declining outside contributions". Anytime I review the Traditions I always look to see how they can be applied to my own life and circumstances outside the ro...	hotrod	2	656	Sep 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	Didn't really think it would come to this (Preview) So last night, after a week long binge of 5+ beers, generally at least 10. I had had enough. We were talking cause he says I never talk to him, which is partially true, he's either drinking or we are running our kids all different places in opposite directions, and he said something and I just said I can'...	confused2015	20	1008	Sep 7, 2015 by pinkchip
	the funeral (Preview) Services are on Tuesday for my ex,I am asking for prayers,I am not doing well,I have never felt so much pain and grief in my life, and I am so angry at this disease.	mjferg	8	805	Sep 7, 2015 by Skorpi
	relationships and friendships (Preview) As I go through my life. The only true friendships I have made are from people from the program. Just recently I have lost another friendship. They are not a part of alanon and don't understand why I go since I am divorced from my exAh. They lied to me yet again last night. Recently they have been lying abt w...	texasgal	5	1374	Sep 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	So today I found out it's not just alcohol (Preview) my A has apparently been smoking crack Too! He just dropped this bombshell on me today. I don't know how I could have been so blind as to not know. People even asked me if he had a drug problem and I said oh no he would never do that! I feel like such an idiot! I don't know why he told me this Now. It doesn't mak...	JukuVee	11	1037	Sep 6, 2015 by Beatrice
	Well that was gently interesting... (Preview) On instruction from our marriage counsellor I've just done a list of things that I appreciate about my husband. I think that my expectation was that this was meant to make me feel better about him and I started the list thinking 'oh darn, why do I have to spend time rooting around for good stuff?' By the e...	milkwood	5	742	Sep 6, 2015 by el-cee
	Birthday/discovery (Preview) AH is severely ill with his drinking and supposedly entering rehab soon. So my cousin called and sent some money and said to treat myself. I really realize now, after 1 1/2 yrs at ALANON that when i take my thoughts away from my AH, and put them on myself, I realized that I hadnt been addressing my panic/an...	YARNCRAZY	8	732	Sep 6, 2015 by el-cee
	C2C 9-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 6 speaks about the slogan:":How important is it". The reading states that many of us obsess over something that might be irritating us in the moment , telling ourselves that this is a very important issue. .If we actually stopped and asked ourselves the qu...	hotrod	1	666	Sep 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Good Self-help books? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'd like to pick up some inspirational self-help books about setting/maintaining boundaries with my alcoholic boyfriend, detaching with love, and to stop obsessing over his behaviors. What have you all read that you drew inspiration from? Is there particular Al-Anon literature...	Mistral	8	909	Sep 6, 2015 by karma13
	Just want happiness (Preview) So today is the first time my AH and I have really talked for a couple weeks. He left on Wednesday night, came home Thursday, after telling me he loved me, the kids, and didn't want to leave. I actually told him to leave. Anyhow, I know he loves us but I told him I cold not live like this anymore. So today w...	confused2015	8	795	Sep 6, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 9-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 5 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. The reading points out that many of us lists feelings as shortcomings and ask HP to lift our feelings of anger, fear and guilt, so we can look forward to a day of it would not have to feel this t...	hotrod	1	611	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Brand New Day .. (Preview) I'm soooo glad the week is over with .. LOL .. I'm good with never seeing last week again. I have felt very helpless with so many things that have been out of my control .. starting with a job .. having to deal with my mom who means well however if it wasn't for the kids I would rather be homeless. My sponsors...	SerenityRUS	2	663	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	preparing myself (Preview) I recently posted about my ex being found dead and today I am going to see his sister,we were close,she really liked me.I don't know all the details yet,but there may be a girlfriend involved so I want to decide if it would be appropriate to go to the funeral home or not,it doesn't seem real, I think I need s...	mjferg	10	860	Sep 5, 2015 by daze
	I kicked him out, but he won't leave. I don't know what to do (Preview) we are not legally married but we have been living together for 22 years. We bought a house together 1998. I paid the down payment but because at the time we were in love and were planning on getting married I gave him 20% ownership on the deed even though I didn't have to. That was dumb. Not only has he bitte...	JukuVee	12	1170	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	She died today. (Preview) I posted a few weeks ago about my step mother who was suffering from end stage liver disease. She died early this morning while the nurses were bathing her. She stopped breathing, and they did not attempt to resuscitate her due to a DNR order her next of kin had signed when all of this started. I didn'...	scootypuffjunior	19	962	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	How Do I Find Peace With It? (Preview) I am new here. I have been trying to find the courage to look for an online group for a very long time now. I grew up in an alcoholic home. My father found sobriety, which saved our family. My sister battled alcoholism and found AA, which has helped to save her own family. I married a man whom I love dear...	Cammi45	13	946	Sep 4, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Finally posting here... (Preview) Hi everyone. Let me start off by saying: I am sorry if my post is breaking any message board rules in any way. Just about 7 hours ago my world kind of came crashing down (again) when my (recovering) ABF was discovered drinking again by one of our mutual friends. I didn't know where to turn, so here I am now. ...	nightowl	20	980	Sep 4, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Devestating news .. (Preview) My beautiful wonderful sponsor is battling some big health issues at the moment. She's been through so much and ironically takes such good care of herself that I'm totally blown away by all of this. Could you please lift her up in prayer .. she is such a warrior goddess that I just can see her beating th...	SerenityRUS	11	757	Sep 4, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Step 4 posted to Step Board (Preview) Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60818767/alanon-step-4-9-15/Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together	hotrod	0	431	Sep 4, 2015 by hotrod
	For my health's sake, I can't take it anymore! (Preview) HI everyone! Well, it's fall and my life is crazy again with school, working two jobs, and trying to juggle everything. It's been a crazy August and I haven't been working on myself as much as I'm getting back into my busy mode. I am getting little or no help with my A, as has been the case, even though he...	gabigail	8	832	Sep 4, 2015 by gabigail
	My husbands ex wife... (Preview) Never did I feel I would be in this position but here we are... After a really nasty custody battle we have found out that my husbands ex wife has been on methadone for over a year and a half after we found her passed out in her car outside of my husbands work. There was no reasoning afterwards and since we ha...	chasingstars	6	823	Sep 4, 2015 by Beatrice
	From one addiction to another. (Preview) Hello everyone! I am the girlfriend to a sober alcoholic. He was sober for 5 years when we met, then relapsed a year into our relationship. He's now been sober since July 28, 2014 but last week I found out that he's also a sex addict. I was absolutely heartbroken. I'm feeling betrayed, sad, depress...	Mandy22	4	803	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	hanging in there... (Preview) I am still hanging in. Less than two weeks to go. I am still anxious a bit but I know it will be alright. I am so grateful for all of you & your support. A lot of people have been praying for me & I really appreciate it. Sometimes I want to scream or cry or whatever I am feeling at the moment. My emotions a...	Hoot Nanny	2	551	Sep 4, 2015 by Debb
	sadness and pain (Preview) I just received the news I have been dreading,My ex was found dead today.I am kind of in shock right now,not sure what I am feeling.They are taking him for an autopsy,possible overdose.Of course I feel overwhelming sadness right now,also, I am wondering if I did the right thing,questions,so many qu...	mjferg	15	883	Sep 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2c 9-4 (Preview) C2C reading the September 4 speaks about what happens when we begin to let go of our anger and worry and stop focusing on everyone but ourselves. The reading suggests that many of us find that we are in increasing calmness of mind and have a great deal of extra time.It also points out that we know how to...	hotrod	2	568	Sep 4, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 9-2 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 2 speaks about the first step. It points our that in the beginning we do a lot of thinking about the words,Admitting, Powerlessness and life being unmanageable .Later on we tend to do a lot of feelings about it as well. The feeling work can be described, mostly in one wo...	hotrod	4	633	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-3 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 3 speaks about coming into Al-Anon and finding that we have built a lifetime of dreams and promises reserved for a special day called:" Someday" . It points out that we tell ourselves that "someday", I'll call my friend that I lost touch with, &...	hotrod	5	712	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feeling pretty low (Preview) I have been sick all day today at school but held it together until I got home and promptly threw-up. I have all the platitudes and sayings running in my head and I am trying but it just isn't helping today. I know from past experience this is only going to get worse before it can get any better and we aren't c...	daze	13	843	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.