Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rinn · Rinn

It has been a while since I posted. More than a year actually. I have done a lot of work on 'ME' after leaving my addict ex-husband. Over the past few years I have really improved a lot. I got emotionally and financially back on my feet. I worked my butt off and was accepted into a Nursing program and hav...

annie-dresden · annie-dresden

Hi everyone This is the very first time I use al-anon in my life! I mean, not using al-anon, but getting in touch with you folks On my way in the last weeks I came to this al-anon site and when I ticked 18 of these 20 questions I knew I needed to get in touch, to do something after all. I am German, a free spritit,...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Still no job and trying not to go on meltdown mode, we are making due and doing ok. It's just kind of scary. It is what it is and I will get to where I need to be .. it's the flipping waiting that is driving me crazy. Some funny things that happened is having as much free time as I do I have to get out of the apart...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have a little more information on the two situations that have been going on around me. My friends son is in rehab however not by his choice. So good news bad news kind of thing. My heart dropped when she told me exactly how bad things had really gotten. Maybe at least the seeds of recovery are startin...

mjferg · mjferg

Even in this darkness I am able to see God's mighty power at work.Finals are over and I have a long fall break before I go back to class.I have been concerned about having so much time on my hands after the funeral,I wasn't quite sure how I would cope.Well, yesterday a friend of mine called and said a tiny ki...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 16 speaks about "negative thoughts" and suggests that in the midst of a crisis these thoughts tell us the worst-case scenario and It is easy to think that they reflect the truth. The reading goes on to explain" feelings are not facts" and that...

Debb · Debb

Just For Today: The slogan, Just For Today tells us that things are more manageable when we deal with and live in the present. Things that seem way too difficult to manage long term may seem more manageable if we deal with them just for today. We can move forward in small steps rather than be overwhelmed b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can see & I am so amazed by it! I feel a sense of relief & now I don't have to wait any longer. Those who have been following my posts probably have noticed the frustration that I had been going through. I know that all of you were waiting for the results of my eye procedure. I am happy to say that all w...

mjferg · mjferg

My finals were yesterday,I gave my speech and my instructor said it was amazing,the best she had ever heard from a student!She gave me an A plus.I felt amazing, as if I had uncovered some secret desire that has been hidden in my heart.When I was a little girl I spent a lot of time in my room reading,writing...

Iamhere · Iamhere

song....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ "...

Debb · Debb

First Things First: The slogan, First Things First helps us to set reasonable priorities and to keep a realistic perspective. This slogan helps us to make choices we are comfortable with, and to act with balance rather than react to crises. {{HUGS To Everyone}}

amf · amf

Hi! I have been in Al-Anon for a year and currently have a sponsor with whom I work the steps (on step 8). I attend two meetings a week. One is my home group and the other is an open AA meeting. I semi-regularly attend a "How Al-Anon works" book study. I hold a service position in my home group. Wh...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I come to this online message board to learn the alanon tools because all the meetings that are a reasonable driving distance for me are either listed as closed or are at night (I dont drive at night). There are lots of AA meetings that are open or in the daytime, but not alanon. Can I get a sponsor through...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good mothing everyone- Today's reading is about making amends. The writer notes that her most profound experience with making amends came from receiving amends from someone else in the fellowship. I have not had that particular experience, but I do remember as I was working the steps with my spon...

Paisley74 · Paisley74

My husband and I have been married for over 5 years. For at least the past 3 years I have suspected his is an alcoholic. I have confronted him more times than i can even count. He always denied, said I had the problem with his drinking not him, said everyone drinks, said he doesn't miss work because of drink...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I have been reminded that I am so not in control .. my car has been out of commission since last week. My girlfriend's husband who I just don't like and I think I figured it out .. there is part me and part he reminds me of my XAH. God has a wicked sense of humor .. lol .. the husband offered to fix my car for fr...

mjferg · mjferg

On top of everything else I have been going through I am in finals week at school.It is good for me though,I am glad I am busy.I will say the worse thing I can do is lay in my bed.My mind starts twisting things all around and has me feeling responsible for every tragic event that ever happened in my life.I tu...

deacon · deacon

Alcoholics make of their lives and, despite our attempts to detach, of others. My son is presently in another country far across the ocean and a couple of continents. His visa expired some time ago and he knows he is going to have to leave and come home. He met a girl when he was there, fell in love and now.....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 14 speaks about the destructive habits that we develop having lived with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of many painful lessons and experiences, we tend to lose the ability to "Hope", sink into despair, shut down our feelings and ref...

Helpangel · Helpangel

After a painful weekend and thinking we are finally done bc of everything I wrote (boundary vs control) he said well I read it again today and now it's not that bad and that he is sorry we fought and he causes so many problems. Say what??? Why is it that when he ends it I hurt but I'm ok. Why can't I say I'm sorry...

ACoffman · ACoffman

Last week I found our three year old in my front yard unattended. My husband drove to daycare to pick her up, drunk, and left her in the yard when he got home. I pulled around the corner minutes after he came home thank god. I took his keys and wallet and called his mother to come get him. We are now separated....

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My daughter and I had a funny/ironic discussion about codependency and how parts of us are pretty much groomed from an early age to people please, be the peace makers and so on, looking for that positive reinforcement that we are enough. Somewhere my thinking got distorted that I wasn't enough and lo...

saalbema · saalbema

My husband was involved in a drinking and driving accident a little over a month ago. Thankfully he did not hit someone else and was not seriously injured. Through an intervention we were able to convince him to go for treatment. He was admitted into a detox facility for only 2 days because his sympt...

confused2015 · confused2015

My AH, who hasn't drank in 1 week is driving me crazy. I am angry with him because of all that has been done to our relationship. He wants to act like nothing is wrong, I am having a tough time with this. He sends me cute, (dumb), little texts and I don't know how to reply because, in all reality, I don't car...

Debb · Debb

Easy Does It: The slogan, Easy Does It helps us remember that trying to force solutions often does not work. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time frame we wish to solve it in. Some problems may not be for us to solve. Sometimes a gentler, more patient approach is more effective and less frus...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Tomorrow is the day of my eye procedure! I am excited & a bit overwhelmed. It is two days earlier than I originally thought. So less waiting time. I will be on here soon w the results. Thanks to everyone who thinks of me & prays for me. I love you all! Kathleen

Debb · Debb

Keep It Simple: The slogan, Keep It Simple helps to remind us that simple solutions are often the most effective ones. This slogan can help us look at what really is happening rather than what we imagine may happen, and to take a reasonable, step by step approach rather than act out of fear or panic. FEA...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. I have been reading a lot about codependency and I think I got a little feisty and after an argument with my ah (that is not living with us since July and having to learn my job from him) I sent him an email saying what my boundaries where when he came over. Which was when he comes over to help me wi...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have a subject i struggle with at my home group alanon vs friends. I keep finding over and over in my home group after my mtg people do not trust my reality of life. I often find it very off putting. I am intelligent, with it and no fool. Maybe about my xah but otherwise a very grounded Person. I do not thi...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the concept of awareness and acceptance. It points out that often we become aware of a problem and once we obtain that awareness , it must be followed by a period known as "acceptance ", before we can actually take an effective action. This is wh...

Nchc · Nchc

For a week and a half my wife and I got separated. We have been together for 4 years, well, 4 years tomorrow. We weren't having a healthy relationship, we never got physical but mental abusive and controlling. She was the one who took the decision. During the first two days I was in completely chaos becau...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) is particularly helpful to me in my recovery. Before I came to AlAnon, I didn't realize that my tendency to advise others was a symptom of me trying to control what I could not, nor should not. AlAnon helped me realize that telling others what they shou...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 13 speaks about living one day at a time so as to make every day an important day. Each day we can try to improve our relationship with HP,the people in our lives, and ourselves by using the 12 steps, prayer mediation and alanon principles to help us pursue this goal. ...

Debb · Debb

But For The Grace Of God: The slogan, But For The Grace Of God helps to remind us to be compassionate with others, including the alcoholics in our lives. This slogan can help us avoid impatience, criticism, resentment, and vengefulness, which does harm to ourselves as well as to others. THINK .. Th...

mjferg · mjferg

It's a difficult emotion for me that is for sure and I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.Since the death of my ex I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.What am I angry at,could it be that I am sad and anger is easier or maybe it is because I wasn't the only woman at the funeral.The truth comes out...

FlowerPower00 · FlowerPower00

Hello All, I've been with my bf now for 6 months. He's been in recovery for almost 2 years now. He goes to all of his AA meetings every week and is dedicated to his sobriety. What I'm struggling with his that he cheated on me with his ex gf who also is in recovery. He was cheating on me throughout our entire re...

mjferg · mjferg

My landlady is a miserable person.This woman has bullied me for long enough,I have had problems with her before and I am not giving her any more power.Long story short,I have been having electrical problems,while I was focused on the funeral my electric wasn't working and my food spoiled.I came home...

mjferg · mjferg

As I go through the grieving process,I talked to the family members of my ex.We are all experiencing the same things.Insomnia,low appetite,tiredness.We are also feeling so many mixed feelings,it is exhausting.First there is anger,we are angry at a dead person,yes, that is difficult to process....

babchimom7 · babchimom7

Hi, Need advice. My son-in-law is an alcoholic and I'm concerned for my grandsons mostly. He always drinks everyday. Has had 2 DUI's n my daughter has had to drive him because he lost his licences. He has his licences back but I'm confident that he still drinks & drives with the kids in the car cu...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi Family :) Recently I have been Doing My Best to Practice Practice Practice with My Alcoholic Family and when I Say that I Mean I Need Every Tool in the Tool Box to Make that Happen. Tho we are ALL Alcoholics My(4 Siblings, Niece, Mom) and of Course the List goes on... However NOW One Sibling is that of a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I quit my new job this morning. The job wasn't the job I wanted but it was the one I was offered. I had decided to keep an open mind and give it a chance. On the surface it looked to be a good job with lots of potential. They said it was a newly created position and it sounded to me like a position where I could add v...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Because so much bad news has arrived via the phone, I get "triggered" when I see certain famIly members phone numbers showing up on my caller ID (or even phone numbers from that area code...as I fear someone who knows my family member is calling me with bad news)

mjferg · mjferg

I woke up early this morning and really didn't want to face the day,I wanted to shut down, but my feelings keep coming in waves,okay,rough morning,what is it,what is this fear,moments of silence and then I know the truth,I am afraid I am going to get another call,I have family members who drink and use....

Kay2009 · Kay2009

I just seem to be able to detect them, not tolerate them, not do anything about it, but still get on their bad side somehow. I'm not totally against drinking and get along fine with fun nights out filled with non-addicts and a little goofiness, but actual addicts just don't work with me and get really mad...

Debb · Debb

"Today, I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend on." It took a while before I became someone that I could trust, because my self esteem was shot. Step 4 helped me to overcome my lack of confidence and helped me to like myself by making a mor...

hotrod · hotrod

September 11. C2C reading explores Step Four. It points out that many of us who have lived with the disease of alcoholism , devalue ourselves and unconsciously believe that our best is not good enough and that no matter what we do,it is not right. By working Step four we are offered a chance to f...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

My mom and I have a complicated relationship with a looooooong history of co-dependence. It's been a real challenge for her to understand that I will not get on the crazy train any longer. She is suspicious and stirring the proverbial pot and snooping out of sheer panic and the need to control. I h...

mjferg · mjferg

I woke up very early this morning and I am deeply troubled .In the state that I live in,The beautiful state of West Virginia,we are now number one for heroin overdoses.My people are dropping like flies.At the funeral I was talking to a friend who works at a treatment center and she was numb,completely v...

gabigail · gabigail

I didn't know what to put for a topic. Right now, things are so stressful. I just had my birthday, and things have been blowing up around me. I act like I have it all together but then something else happens. I'm dealing with major insomnia again. My car died. I've been driving my A's car now. Currently I'm...

carolm · carolm

My 28-year-old son has struggled with addiction since he was in his teens. He has worked a lot of jobs over the years and drifted from one place to another. Every time he gets in a position where he might make progress, his addictive behavior pops up and causes disaster. He was just released from 2 months...

Bill S · Bill S

Not in a great place this morning. Little trigger reminded me of the past. Trying to live in the present, placing past behind me. I don't like feeling what I feel. I've reached out to my HP for calm and although present, I don't have the instant gratification. I think that I need to learn that God will...

texasgal · texasgal

Recently I have been having trouble trusting my HP. A series of events have taken place. At the beginning of the summer my sister became very ill and is now in hospice care. My car has experienced major problems. I have been having trouble in my friendships. And I feel like I don't fit in, in this new town I...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for today, September 10, asked the question," What am I doing with the gifts that I have?" It is a powerful question and one that the reading goes on to discuss. It reminded me that if I am gifted with a good memory and am using it to just dig's up past hurts, or disappointme...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I am trying to hard to focus on myself. I moved out 2 months ago and got my own place. We don't seem to be a typical couple affected by alcoholism, in that my AH is so focused on me, constant physical needs, will not give me space or honor boundaries. He wants togetherness, and I have fought for more space our...

Debb · Debb

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them ODAT pg 185. I personally choose to look at lifes difficulties as a way to learn and solve problems. I believe that each obstacle is a proven way to learn a better way of living. Never been one to sit and suffer, rath...

MayL · MayL

Really need some advice. Last summer, my sister finalized her divorce from her alcoholic husband of 10 years. She and her daughter lived with me and my family during the year and a half she worked through the divorce. She was working full time, going to school full time and being a single mom. We (me/hus...

mjferg · mjferg

It is day one after the funeral,and last night I woke up several times in the night,nights are bad,I have vivid dreams and I wake up with tears streaming down my face.I swear I can hear his voice and feel his presence beside me.I am going to be here a a lot,so bear with me.All I can do is write, and talk, and...

Hopeswims22 · Hopeswims22

can someone explain to me what are our symptoms from living with an alcoholic? All the time I hear that yes that is a symptoms? Is there a place I can find all the answers? I just started to read the blue book of AA thinking it would tell me there? thanks

mjferg · mjferg

It is evening and I have taken my daughter to work and I sit alone,well my 2 cats and my dog are at my side.They bring me comfort and a sense of life continuing.It was a beautiful day,I visited the correctional facility,it was a group of addicts who had minor crimes.It took me a while but I got the courage...

glad lee · glad lee

A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as con...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Realising how much I still have to work on me. (Preview) It has been a while since I posted. More than a year actually. I have done a lot of work on 'ME' after leaving my addict ex-husband. Over the past few years I have really improved a lot. I got emotionally and financially back on my feet. I worked my butt off and was accepted into a Nursing program and hav...	Rinn	6	744	Sep 17, 2015 by Rinn
	my chaos (Preview) Hi everyone This is the very first time I use al-anon in my life! I mean, not using al-anon, but getting in touch with you folks On my way in the last weeks I came to this al-anon site and when I ticked 18 of these 20 questions I knew I needed to get in touch, to do something after all. I am German, a free spritit,...	annie-dresden	19	1381	Sep 17, 2015 by Rinn
	Still waiting .. (Preview) Still no job and trying not to go on meltdown mode, we are making due and doing ok. It's just kind of scary. It is what it is and I will get to where I need to be .. it's the flipping waiting that is driving me crazy. Some funny things that happened is having as much free time as I do I have to get out of the apart...	SerenityRUS	3	610	Sep 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Prayer update .. (Preview) I have a little more information on the two situations that have been going on around me. My friends son is in rehab however not by his choice. So good news bad news kind of thing. My heart dropped when she told me exactly how bad things had really gotten. Maybe at least the seeds of recovery are startin...	SerenityRUS	4	528	Sep 16, 2015 by Green Eyes
	There is always love (Preview) Even in this darkness I am able to see God's mighty power at work.Finals are over and I have a long fall break before I go back to class.I have been concerned about having so much time on my hands after the funeral,I wasn't quite sure how I would cope.Well, yesterday a friend of mine called and said a tiny ki...	mjferg	6	749	Sep 16, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 9-16 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 16 speaks about "negative thoughts" and suggests that in the midst of a crisis these thoughts tell us the worst-case scenario and It is easy to think that they reflect the truth. The reading goes on to explain" feelings are not facts" and that...	hotrod	4	580	Sep 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Slogan for Today – Just For Today - 9/16/15 (Preview) Just For Today: The slogan, Just For Today tells us that things are more manageable when we deal with and live in the present. Things that seem way too difficult to manage long term may seem more manageable if we deal with them just for today. We can move forward in small steps rather than be overwhelmed b...	Debb	5	1741	Sep 16, 2015 by Broken513
	words cannot describe. (Preview) I can see & I am so amazed by it! I feel a sense of relief & now I don't have to wait any longer. Those who have been following my posts probably have noticed the frustration that I had been going through. I know that all of you were waiting for the results of my eye procedure. I am happy to say that all w...	Hoot Nanny	6	847	Sep 15, 2015 by tiredtonite
	finals week (Preview) My finals were yesterday,I gave my speech and my instructor said it was amazing,the best she had ever heard from a student!She gave me an A plus.I felt amazing, as if I had uncovered some secret desire that has been hidden in my heart.When I was a little girl I spent a lot of time in my room reading,writing...	mjferg	5	561	Sep 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Slightly Off-Topic - Song Lyrics that I am Digging Right Now... (Preview) song....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ "...	Iamhere	8	816	Sep 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Slogan for Today – First Things First - 9/15/15 (Preview) First Things First: The slogan, First Things First helps us to set reasonable priorities and to keep a realistic perspective. This slogan helps us to make choices we are comfortable with, and to act with balance rather than react to crises. {{HUGS To Everyone}}	Debb	5	800	Sep 15, 2015 by Rinn
	Sponsor Help Sponsor (Preview) Hi! I have been in Al-Anon for a year and currently have a sponsor with whom I work the steps (on step 8). I attend two meetings a week. One is my home group and the other is an open AA meeting. I semi-regularly attend a "How Al-Anon works" book study. I hold a service position in my home group. Wh...	amf	5	7397	Sep 15, 2015 by amf
	Local alanon meetings are all at night or are "closed" meetings (Preview) I come to this online message board to learn the alanon tools because all the meetings that are a reasonable driving distance for me are either listed as closed or are at night (I dont drive at night). There are lots of AA meetings that are open or in the daytime, but not alanon. Can I get a sponsor through...	lgnutah	8	806	Sep 15, 2015 by RealitySucker
	Hope for Today sept 15- sorry posted w no topic (Preview) Good mothing everyone- Today's reading is about making amends. The writer notes that her most profound experience with making amends came from receiving amends from someone else in the fellowship. I have not had that particular experience, but I do remember as I was working the steps with my spon...	yanksfan51	4	603	Sep 15, 2015 by Broken513
	this should be a relief, but it isn't (Preview) My husband and I have been married for over 5 years. For at least the past 3 years I have suspected his is an alcoholic. I have confronted him more times than i can even count. He always denied, said I had the problem with his drinking not him, said everyone drinks, said he doesn't miss work because of drink...	Paisley74	5	706	Sep 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Praciticing my program .. (Preview) So I have been reminded that I am so not in control .. my car has been out of commission since last week. My girlfriend's husband who I just don't like and I think I figured it out .. there is part me and part he reminds me of my XAH. God has a wicked sense of humor .. lol .. the husband offered to fix my car for fr...	SerenityRUS	7	733	Sep 14, 2015 by Jen61
	my speech (Preview) On top of everything else I have been going through I am in finals week at school.It is good for me though,I am glad I am busy.I will say the worse thing I can do is lay in my bed.My mind starts twisting things all around and has me feeling responsible for every tragic event that ever happened in my life.I tu...	mjferg	4	749	Sep 14, 2015 by Debb
	What a mess! (Preview) Alcoholics make of their lives and, despite our attempts to detach, of others. My son is presently in another country far across the ocean and a couple of continents. His visa expired some time ago and he knows he is going to have to leave and come home. He met a girl when he was there, fell in love and now.....	deacon	3	693	Sep 14, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 9-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 14 speaks about the destructive habits that we develop having lived with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of many painful lessons and experiences, we tend to lose the ability to "Hope", sink into despair, shut down our feelings and ref...	hotrod	4	614	Sep 14, 2015 by Debb
	Boundaries- OMG he came around! (Preview) After a painful weekend and thinking we are finally done bc of everything I wrote (boundary vs control) he said well I read it again today and now it's not that bad and that he is sorry we fought and he causes so many problems. Say what??? Why is it that when he ends it I hurt but I'm ok. Why can't I say I'm sorry...	Helpangel	4	707	Sep 14, 2015 by Debb
	What should I do? Opinions wanted please (Preview) Last week I found our three year old in my front yard unattended. My husband drove to daycare to pick her up, drunk, and left her in the yard when he got home. I pulled around the corner minutes after he came home thank god. I took his keys and wallet and called his mother to come get him. We are now separated....	ACoffman	9	787	Sep 14, 2015 by Rinn
	Discussing CoDependcy with a Teenager .. LOL (Preview) My daughter and I had a funny/ironic discussion about codependency and how parts of us are pretty much groomed from an early age to people please, be the peace makers and so on, looking for that positive reinforcement that we are enough. Somewhere my thinking got distorted that I wasn't enough and lo...	SerenityRUS	1	515	Sep 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Living with a "dry drunk". New here (Preview) My husband was involved in a drinking and driving accident a little over a month ago. Thankfully he did not hit someone else and was not seriously injured. Through an intervention we were able to convince him to go for treatment. He was admitted into a detox facility for only 2 days because his sympt...	saalbema	10	1087	Sep 14, 2015 by ACoffman
	Driving me crazy (Preview) My AH, who hasn't drank in 1 week is driving me crazy. I am angry with him because of all that has been done to our relationship. He wants to act like nothing is wrong, I am having a tough time with this. He sends me cute, (dumb), little texts and I don't know how to reply because, in all reality, I don't car...	confused2015	5	728	Sep 14, 2015 by ACoffman
	Slogan for Today – Easy Does It - 9/14/15 (Preview) Easy Does It: The slogan, Easy Does It helps us remember that trying to force solutions often does not work. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time frame we wish to solve it in. Some problems may not be for us to solve. Sometimes a gentler, more patient approach is more effective and less frus...	Debb	1	581	Sep 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Tomorrow! (Preview) Tomorrow is the day of my eye procedure! I am excited & a bit overwhelmed. It is two days earlier than I originally thought. So less waiting time. I will be on here soon w the results. Thanks to everyone who thinks of me & prays for me. I love you all! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	6	390	Sep 14, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Slogan for Today – Keep It Simple - 9/12/15 (Preview) Keep It Simple: The slogan, Keep It Simple helps to remind us that simple solutions are often the most effective ones. This slogan can help us look at what really is happening rather than what we imagine may happen, and to take a reasonable, step by step approach rather than act out of fear or panic. FEA...	Debb	3	3456	Sep 13, 2015 by Fairlee
	Boundaries versus control-codepency overload! (Preview) Hi everyone. I have been reading a lot about codependency and I think I got a little feisty and after an argument with my ah (that is not living with us since July and having to learn my job from him) I sent him an email saying what my boundaries where when he came over. Which was when he comes over to help me wi...	Helpangel	16	900	Sep 13, 2015 by Fairlee
	My reality vs my home group (closed) (Preview) I have a subject i struggle with at my home group alanon vs friends. I keep finding over and over in my home group after my mtg people do not trust my reality of life. I often find it very off putting. I am intelligent, with it and no fool. Maybe about my xah but otherwise a very grounded Person. I do not thi...	Mirandac	16	875	Sep 13, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 9-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the concept of awareness and acceptance. It points out that often we become aware of a problem and once we obtain that awareness , it must be followed by a period known as "acceptance ", before we can actually take an effective action. This is wh...	hotrod	4	679	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Getting detached (Preview) For a week and a half my wife and I got separated. We have been together for 4 years, well, 4 years tomorrow. We weren't having a healthy relationship, we never got physical but mental abusive and controlling. She was the one who took the decision. During the first two days I was in completely chaos becau...	Nchc	7	669	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 9/12 - Advise With Care (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) is particularly helpful to me in my recovery. Before I came to AlAnon, I didn't realize that my tendency to advise others was a symptom of me trying to control what I could not, nor should not. AlAnon helped me realize that telling others what they shou...	Enigmatic	7	839	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 13 speaks about living one day at a time so as to make every day an important day. Each day we can try to improve our relationship with HP,the people in our lives, and ourselves by using the 12 steps, prayer mediation and alanon principles to help us pursue this goal. ...	hotrod	2	536	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Slogan for Today – But For The Grace Of God - 9/13/15 (Preview) But For The Grace Of God: The slogan, But For The Grace Of God helps to remind us to be compassionate with others, including the alcoholics in our lives. This slogan can help us avoid impatience, criticism, resentment, and vengefulness, which does harm to ourselves as well as to others. THINK .. Th...	Debb	3	701	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	anger (Preview) It's a difficult emotion for me that is for sure and I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.Since the death of my ex I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.What am I angry at,could it be that I am sad and anger is easier or maybe it is because I wasn't the only woman at the funeral.The truth comes out...	mjferg	5	556	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dating an alcoholic (Preview) Hello All, I've been with my bf now for 6 months. He's been in recovery for almost 2 years now. He goes to all of his AA meetings every week and is dedicated to his sobriety. What I'm struggling with his that he cheated on me with his ex gf who also is in recovery. He was cheating on me throughout our entire re...	FlowerPower00	12	867	Sep 12, 2015 by littlelionman
	The landlady again (Preview) My landlady is a miserable person.This woman has bullied me for long enough,I have had problems with her before and I am not giving her any more power.Long story short,I have been having electrical problems,while I was focused on the funeral my electric wasn't working and my food spoiled.I came home...	mjferg	2	581	Sep 12, 2015 by Broken513
	we all have the same symptoms (Preview) As I go through the grieving process,I talked to the family members of my ex.We are all experiencing the same things.Insomnia,low appetite,tiredness.We are also feeling so many mixed feelings,it is exhausting.First there is anger,we are angry at a dead person,yes, that is difficult to process....	mjferg	5	779	Sep 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Concerned for grandkids (Preview) Hi, Need advice. My son-in-law is an alcoholic and I'm concerned for my grandsons mostly. He always drinks everyday. Has had 2 DUI's n my daughter has had to drive him because he lost his licences. He has his licences back but I'm confident that he still drinks & drives with the kids in the car cu...	babchimom7	7	800	Sep 11, 2015 by hiraeth
	Still Stuck by the Sickness of my Inner Child... (Preview) Hi Family :) Recently I have been Doing My Best to Practice Practice Practice with My Alcoholic Family and when I Say that I Mean I Need Every Tool in the Tool Box to Make that Happen. Tho we are ALL Alcoholics My(4 Siblings, Niece, Mom) and of Course the List goes on... However NOW One Sibling is that of a...	Jozie	5	562	Sep 11, 2015 by tiredtonite
	I quit the new job (Preview) I quit my new job this morning. The job wasn't the job I wanted but it was the one I was offered. I had decided to keep an open mind and give it a chance. On the surface it looked to be a good job with lots of potential. They said it was a newly created position and it sounded to me like a position where I could add v...	tiredtonite	10	701	Sep 11, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Anyone here now wanting to chat? I wondering how others deal with fear of more bad news (Preview) Because so much bad news has arrived via the phone, I get "triggered" when I see certain famIly members phone numbers showing up on my caller ID (or even phone numbers from that area code...as I fear someone who knows my family member is calling me with bad news)	lgnutah	13	848	Sep 11, 2015 by JanS
	identifying the fear (Preview) I woke up early this morning and really didn't want to face the day,I wanted to shut down, but my feelings keep coming in waves,okay,rough morning,what is it,what is this fear,moments of silence and then I know the truth,I am afraid I am going to get another call,I have family members who drink and use....	mjferg	4	709	Sep 11, 2015 by mjferg
	Is my ability to detect an alcoholic and having zero tolerance for them a product of being raised by alcoholics? (Preview) I just seem to be able to detect them, not tolerate them, not do anything about it, but still get on their bad side somehow. I'm not totally against drinking and get along fine with fun nights out filled with non-addicts and a little goofiness, but actual addicts just don't work with me and get really mad...	Kay2009	6	738	Sep 11, 2015 by hiraeth
	Topic – Learning To Trust – 9/11/15 (Preview) "Today, I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend on." It took a while before I became someone that I could trust, because my self esteem was shot. Step 4 helped me to overcome my lack of confidence and helped me to like myself by making a mor...	Debb	2	2097	Sep 11, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C 9-11 (Preview) September 11. C2C reading explores Step Four. It points out that many of us who have lived with the disease of alcoholism , devalue ourselves and unconsciously believe that our best is not good enough and that no matter what we do,it is not right. By working Step four we are offered a chance to f...	hotrod	1	586	Sep 11, 2015 by Debb
	Oh my goodness, does this program work or what!? (Preview) My mom and I have a complicated relationship with a looooooong history of co-dependence. It's been a real challenge for her to understand that I will not get on the crazy train any longer. She is suspicious and stirring the proverbial pot and snooping out of sheer panic and the need to control. I h...	LedfootJenny	7	686	Sep 10, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	I am afraid (Preview) I woke up very early this morning and I am deeply troubled .In the state that I live in,The beautiful state of West Virginia,we are now number one for heroin overdoses.My people are dropping like flies.At the funeral I was talking to a friend who works at a treatment center and she was numb,completely v...	mjferg	8	1076	Sep 10, 2015 by mjferg
	Venting (Preview) I didn't know what to put for a topic. Right now, things are so stressful. I just had my birthday, and things have been blowing up around me. I act like I have it all together but then something else happens. I'm dealing with major insomnia again. My car died. I've been driving my A's car now. Currently I'm...	gabigail	2	549	Sep 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Getting help (Preview) My 28-year-old son has struggled with addiction since he was in his teens. He has worked a lot of jobs over the years and drifted from one place to another. Every time he gets in a position where he might make progress, his addictive behavior pops up and causes disaster. He was just released from 2 months...	carolm	2	447	Sep 10, 2015 by Debb
	Dwelling, In the Past (Preview) Not in a great place this morning. Little trigger reminded me of the past. Trying to live in the present, placing past behind me. I don't like feeling what I feel. I've reached out to my HP for calm and although present, I don't have the instant gratification. I think that I need to learn that God will...	Bill S	5	597	Sep 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	losing faith in HP (Preview) Recently I have been having trouble trusting my HP. A series of events have taken place. At the beginning of the summer my sister became very ill and is now in hospice care. My car has experienced major problems. I have been having trouble in my friendships. And I feel like I don't fit in, in this new town I...	texasgal	6	776	Sep 10, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Alanon Readings 9-10 (Preview) ODAT reading for today, September 10, asked the question," What am I doing with the gifts that I have?" It is a powerful question and one that the reading goes on to discuss. It reminded me that if I am gifted with a good memory and am using it to just dig's up past hurts, or disappointme...	hotrod	2	837	Sep 10, 2015 by Jill
	what now? (Preview) I am trying to hard to focus on myself. I moved out 2 months ago and got my own place. We don't seem to be a typical couple affected by alcoholism, in that my AH is so focused on me, constant physical needs, will not give me space or honor boundaries. He wants togetherness, and I have fought for more space our...	oceanpine	4	714	Sep 10, 2015 by deacon
	Definition for 9/10/15 – Stumbling Block & Stepping Stones (Preview) The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them ODAT pg 185. I personally choose to look at lifes difficulties as a way to learn and solve problems. I believe that each obstacle is a proven way to learn a better way of living. Never been one to sit and suffer, rath...	Debb	2	2559	Sep 10, 2015 by hotrod
	HELP: Sister pregnant by drug addict/alcholic (Preview) Really need some advice. Last summer, my sister finalized her divorce from her alcoholic husband of 10 years. She and her daughter lived with me and my family during the year and a half she worked through the divorce. She was working full time, going to school full time and being a single mom. We (me/hus...	MayL	4	791	Sep 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Day one (Preview) It is day one after the funeral,and last night I woke up several times in the night,nights are bad,I have vivid dreams and I wake up with tears streaming down my face.I swear I can hear his voice and feel his presence beside me.I am going to be here a a lot,so bear with me.All I can do is write, and talk, and...	mjferg	10	783	Sep 10, 2015 by 1911A1
	Confused looking for answers (Preview) can someone explain to me what are our symptoms from living with an alcoholic? All the time I hear that yes that is a symptoms? Is there a place I can find all the answers? I just started to read the blue book of AA thinking it would tell me there? thanks	Hopeswims22	4	703	Sep 9, 2015 by pinkchip
	the loss of a dream (Preview) It is evening and I have taken my daughter to work and I sit alone,well my 2 cats and my dog are at my side.They bring me comfort and a sense of life continuing.It was a beautiful day,I visited the correctional facility,it was a group of addicts who had minor crimes.It took me a while but I got the courage...	mjferg	3	630	Sep 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Control (Preview) A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as con...	glad lee	22	4505	Sep 9, 2015 by oceanpine
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.