Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

confused2015 · confused2015

My AH, who hasn't drank in 1 week is driving me crazy. I am angry with him because of all that has been done to our relationship. He wants to act like nothing is wrong, I am having a tough time with this. He sends me cute, (dumb), little texts and I don't know how to reply because, in all reality, I don't car...

Debb · Debb

Easy Does It: The slogan, Easy Does It helps us remember that trying to force solutions often does not work. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time frame we wish to solve it in. Some problems may not be for us to solve. Sometimes a gentler, more patient approach is more effective and less frus...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Tomorrow is the day of my eye procedure! I am excited & a bit overwhelmed. It is two days earlier than I originally thought. So less waiting time. I will be on here soon w the results. Thanks to everyone who thinks of me & prays for me. I love you all! Kathleen

Debb · Debb

Keep It Simple: The slogan, Keep It Simple helps to remind us that simple solutions are often the most effective ones. This slogan can help us look at what really is happening rather than what we imagine may happen, and to take a reasonable, step by step approach rather than act out of fear or panic. FEA...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. I have been reading a lot about codependency and I think I got a little feisty and after an argument with my ah (that is not living with us since July and having to learn my job from him) I sent him an email saying what my boundaries where when he came over. Which was when he comes over to help me wi...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have a subject i struggle with at my home group alanon vs friends. I keep finding over and over in my home group after my mtg people do not trust my reality of life. I often find it very off putting. I am intelligent, with it and no fool. Maybe about my xah but otherwise a very grounded Person. I do not thi...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the concept of awareness and acceptance. It points out that often we become aware of a problem and once we obtain that awareness , it must be followed by a period known as "acceptance ", before we can actually take an effective action. This is wh...

Nchc · Nchc

For a week and a half my wife and I got separated. We have been together for 4 years, well, 4 years tomorrow. We weren't having a healthy relationship, we never got physical but mental abusive and controlling. She was the one who took the decision. During the first two days I was in completely chaos becau...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) is particularly helpful to me in my recovery. Before I came to AlAnon, I didn't realize that my tendency to advise others was a symptom of me trying to control what I could not, nor should not. AlAnon helped me realize that telling others what they shou...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 13 speaks about living one day at a time so as to make every day an important day. Each day we can try to improve our relationship with HP,the people in our lives, and ourselves by using the 12 steps, prayer mediation and alanon principles to help us pursue this goal. ...

Debb · Debb

But For The Grace Of God: The slogan, But For The Grace Of God helps to remind us to be compassionate with others, including the alcoholics in our lives. This slogan can help us avoid impatience, criticism, resentment, and vengefulness, which does harm to ourselves as well as to others. THINK .. Th...

mjferg · mjferg

It's a difficult emotion for me that is for sure and I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.Since the death of my ex I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.What am I angry at,could it be that I am sad and anger is easier or maybe it is because I wasn't the only woman at the funeral.The truth comes out...

FlowerPower00 · FlowerPower00

Hello All, I've been with my bf now for 6 months. He's been in recovery for almost 2 years now. He goes to all of his AA meetings every week and is dedicated to his sobriety. What I'm struggling with his that he cheated on me with his ex gf who also is in recovery. He was cheating on me throughout our entire re...

mjferg · mjferg

My landlady is a miserable person.This woman has bullied me for long enough,I have had problems with her before and I am not giving her any more power.Long story short,I have been having electrical problems,while I was focused on the funeral my electric wasn't working and my food spoiled.I came home...

mjferg · mjferg

As I go through the grieving process,I talked to the family members of my ex.We are all experiencing the same things.Insomnia,low appetite,tiredness.We are also feeling so many mixed feelings,it is exhausting.First there is anger,we are angry at a dead person,yes, that is difficult to process....

babchimom7 · babchimom7

Hi, Need advice. My son-in-law is an alcoholic and I'm concerned for my grandsons mostly. He always drinks everyday. Has had 2 DUI's n my daughter has had to drive him because he lost his licences. He has his licences back but I'm confident that he still drinks & drives with the kids in the car cu...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi Family :) Recently I have been Doing My Best to Practice Practice Practice with My Alcoholic Family and when I Say that I Mean I Need Every Tool in the Tool Box to Make that Happen. Tho we are ALL Alcoholics My(4 Siblings, Niece, Mom) and of Course the List goes on... However NOW One Sibling is that of a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I quit my new job this morning. The job wasn't the job I wanted but it was the one I was offered. I had decided to keep an open mind and give it a chance. On the surface it looked to be a good job with lots of potential. They said it was a newly created position and it sounded to me like a position where I could add v...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Because so much bad news has arrived via the phone, I get "triggered" when I see certain famIly members phone numbers showing up on my caller ID (or even phone numbers from that area code...as I fear someone who knows my family member is calling me with bad news)

mjferg · mjferg

I woke up early this morning and really didn't want to face the day,I wanted to shut down, but my feelings keep coming in waves,okay,rough morning,what is it,what is this fear,moments of silence and then I know the truth,I am afraid I am going to get another call,I have family members who drink and use....

Kay2009 · Kay2009

I just seem to be able to detect them, not tolerate them, not do anything about it, but still get on their bad side somehow. I'm not totally against drinking and get along fine with fun nights out filled with non-addicts and a little goofiness, but actual addicts just don't work with me and get really mad...

Debb · Debb

"Today, I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend on." It took a while before I became someone that I could trust, because my self esteem was shot. Step 4 helped me to overcome my lack of confidence and helped me to like myself by making a mor...

hotrod · hotrod

September 11. C2C reading explores Step Four. It points out that many of us who have lived with the disease of alcoholism , devalue ourselves and unconsciously believe that our best is not good enough and that no matter what we do,it is not right. By working Step four we are offered a chance to f...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

My mom and I have a complicated relationship with a looooooong history of co-dependence. It's been a real challenge for her to understand that I will not get on the crazy train any longer. She is suspicious and stirring the proverbial pot and snooping out of sheer panic and the need to control. I h...

mjferg · mjferg

I woke up very early this morning and I am deeply troubled .In the state that I live in,The beautiful state of West Virginia,we are now number one for heroin overdoses.My people are dropping like flies.At the funeral I was talking to a friend who works at a treatment center and she was numb,completely v...

gabigail · gabigail

I didn't know what to put for a topic. Right now, things are so stressful. I just had my birthday, and things have been blowing up around me. I act like I have it all together but then something else happens. I'm dealing with major insomnia again. My car died. I've been driving my A's car now. Currently I'm...

carolm · carolm

My 28-year-old son has struggled with addiction since he was in his teens. He has worked a lot of jobs over the years and drifted from one place to another. Every time he gets in a position where he might make progress, his addictive behavior pops up and causes disaster. He was just released from 2 months...

Bill S · Bill S

Not in a great place this morning. Little trigger reminded me of the past. Trying to live in the present, placing past behind me. I don't like feeling what I feel. I've reached out to my HP for calm and although present, I don't have the instant gratification. I think that I need to learn that God will...

texasgal · texasgal

Recently I have been having trouble trusting my HP. A series of events have taken place. At the beginning of the summer my sister became very ill and is now in hospice care. My car has experienced major problems. I have been having trouble in my friendships. And I feel like I don't fit in, in this new town I...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for today, September 10, asked the question," What am I doing with the gifts that I have?" It is a powerful question and one that the reading goes on to discuss. It reminded me that if I am gifted with a good memory and am using it to just dig's up past hurts, or disappointme...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I am trying to hard to focus on myself. I moved out 2 months ago and got my own place. We don't seem to be a typical couple affected by alcoholism, in that my AH is so focused on me, constant physical needs, will not give me space or honor boundaries. He wants togetherness, and I have fought for more space our...

Debb · Debb

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them ODAT pg 185. I personally choose to look at lifes difficulties as a way to learn and solve problems. I believe that each obstacle is a proven way to learn a better way of living. Never been one to sit and suffer, rath...

MayL · MayL

Really need some advice. Last summer, my sister finalized her divorce from her alcoholic husband of 10 years. She and her daughter lived with me and my family during the year and a half she worked through the divorce. She was working full time, going to school full time and being a single mom. We (me/hus...

mjferg · mjferg

It is day one after the funeral,and last night I woke up several times in the night,nights are bad,I have vivid dreams and I wake up with tears streaming down my face.I swear I can hear his voice and feel his presence beside me.I am going to be here a a lot,so bear with me.All I can do is write, and talk, and...

Hopeswims22 · Hopeswims22

can someone explain to me what are our symptoms from living with an alcoholic? All the time I hear that yes that is a symptoms? Is there a place I can find all the answers? I just started to read the blue book of AA thinking it would tell me there? thanks

mjferg · mjferg

It is evening and I have taken my daughter to work and I sit alone,well my 2 cats and my dog are at my side.They bring me comfort and a sense of life continuing.It was a beautiful day,I visited the correctional facility,it was a group of addicts who had minor crimes.It took me a while but I got the courage...

glad lee · glad lee

A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as con...

Aloha · Aloha

Relationships just always bring out these challenges in me. I was spending quite a bit of time with a friend of my brother's, who I know has developed a more-than-friends interest in me. I'm trying real hard to do things different and I know one of my important criteria I have now for possible future lon...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 9 speaks about the miracle of attending a meeting and listening with an open mind. It suggests if we do so ,inevitably somebody at the meeting will share something that we so desperately need to hear and a new door opens .This is true of coming to MIP and reading the postings...

Debb · Debb

According to disability studies specialist Lennard J. Davis, historically, the concept of co-dependence comes directly out of Alcoholics Anonymous (thought that interesting to learn), part of a dawning realization that the problem was not solely the addict, but also the family and friends w...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

S = Stop enabling, stop blaming yourself, and stop the flow of money A = Assemble a support group N = Nip excuses in the bud I = Implement boundaries T = Trust your instincts Y = Yield everything to God.Hi EveryoneMy son is continuing to grow and is doing well. I came across these messages and they brough...

muse00 · muse00

Long story short, my AH of 9 years, who has been my best friend of almost 20, has relapsed again. He's using less than he was at the height of his addiction and yet his acts are even crazier. He has resorted to stealing money out of my personal bank account and pawning my personal belongings. It was the last...

mjferg · mjferg

It still doesn't seem real that my ex is gone and I will never get the chance to sit and talk with him again.I have my dress ready and I am dreading tomorrow.I am grieving hard already and the funeral is going to be so final.I feel like I can't breathe and there is such an emptiness in my heart.I don't want to d...

mjferg · mjferg

The funeral was a good closure for me.There were a lot of people there,family,friends,everyone had a heavy heart because of the way he died.A lot of disrespect also,drinking buddies,reeking of alcohol,one of them drinking outside,And these were the people he rushed off to be with, and they will be...

el-cee · el-cee

Its a normal thing that happens to people, its biology, nature really. No need to shout about it? Well, ive been bitter, angry and resentful for so long due this disease i have that its a miracle. Ive allowed someone in, a miracle. Whether it works out or not, its happening, ive opened my mind wide enough...

CE · CE

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- Today's reading speaks to the strength and serenity that working the program can bring into our lives. The writer admits that as a young wife and mother she was attenpting to fill any voids she felt with her family, volunteering, attending church, working etc. They were al...

JukuVee · JukuVee

No matter how bad it gets, it keeps getting worse! This morning I couldn't find my glasses. Last thing I remembered they were on the bed. So I was looking under the bed for them. I didn't find my glasses. I did find a digital recording device. My A has been listening to all my phone conversations that I h...

Kab915 · Kab915

So, I started a post out earlier today, but it had been abandoned as situations changed. This is only my second time posting here and I'm still very new to Al-Anon. My ABF has been abstaining from alcohol for three months. No recovery program (1 AA meeting and then he tried to do it himself, which was just...

veechee73 · veechee73

I've only been to a handful of Al-Anon meetings so far so I am very new to this. Well, not to living with an alcoholic, but to Al-Anon. I do not have a sponsor yet and here I am at 12:30am being disrupted by my alcoholic after I had gone to bed at 10:30. What do I do at this time when there are no meetings and no...

confused2015 · confused2015

Okay, I just need some advise. So my AH has been told that I am not living with him if he drinks, whether it be one time or 1000 times, he knows I am over it and don't want it in my life anymore. So as of last Thursday he has not drank as far as I know, anyhow. So this Sunday he has a golf outing, I will be out of tow...

mjferg · mjferg

Today I bury the love of my life.I feel like I am in fog.I feel so dead inside.What can I say about the man who fought this demon.His smile would light up a whole room.He helped the less fortunate,he took food to friends who didn't have anything to eat.We helped other people,we took soap to a man who was hi...

Debb · Debb

Resentment is anger resent, it goes round and round resending the feelings. ~ Al-anon Resentment is anger that seems to never end unless you want it to! Resentment stunts growth and eventually it can and will make us sick. It is said that, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the othe...

shattered · shattered

Hi, I'm new here. My therapist had been recommending al anon for awhile, but now I'm ready. I will be attending my first meeting tomorrow night. Looking through all your stories, it really helps ease a fraction of the pain knowing that I'm not alone, and seeing so many similar stories to mine. I hav...

mjferg · mjferg

After hearing about my ex dying,I went numb for a while but now the feelings and the memories are flooding back,I cry every day,many times.I am waking up at night.I think about the way he died, alone, and I was right here.I was always here for him until things got so bad in my life and I had to let him go and no...

Fairlee · Fairlee

I'm stuck. I do ok, then I'm right back in the muck again! Checking myself is really helping me to own my stuff, but one thing that is really tripping me up is detaching with love. I am harboring tons of resentment. AH and I recently had yet another conversation where I poured out my heart to him and told him...

Debb · Debb

Denial is the shock absorber for the soul. It protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality. ~ C.S. Lewis Denial is a disbelief in the existence or reality in a thing. In Al-Anon, denial is when we hide how we feel, what we experience, and what we know. Even when good sense tells us something is w...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

today, i feel confused. some days i feel strong and positive that i will do fine if i leave ah [after 25yrs] Today, things are mellow because ah is not drinking and trying to get some money/court things fixed. I think my decesion is a good one, then i think..oh i can deal with it being dull, but i know, he wil...

Nvrdnths · Nvrdnths

It's been a week since I told him to leave; after 2 consecutive years. Our relationship started in 2010 and was rocky due to his drinking...he did make 'changes and adjustments' but never a full commitment to stop. He was drinking on the weekends which consisted of 6-9 on Fridays and Satudays and 6 Sund...

Lyne · Lyne

I was just telling my sponsor that I feel connected to a community of people, who are all trying to improve themselves, and all of them have connected to an HP of their understanding, and if I think about all the people in my F2F, on this board, others who belong to alanon, and all of them connecting to a hig...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Driving me crazy (Preview) My AH, who hasn't drank in 1 week is driving me crazy. I am angry with him because of all that has been done to our relationship. He wants to act like nothing is wrong, I am having a tough time with this. He sends me cute, (dumb), little texts and I don't know how to reply because, in all reality, I don't car...	confused2015	5	652	Sep 14, 2015 by ACoffman
	Slogan for Today – Easy Does It - 9/14/15 (Preview) Easy Does It: The slogan, Easy Does It helps us remember that trying to force solutions often does not work. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time frame we wish to solve it in. Some problems may not be for us to solve. Sometimes a gentler, more patient approach is more effective and less frus...	Debb	1	499	Sep 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Tomorrow! (Preview) Tomorrow is the day of my eye procedure! I am excited & a bit overwhelmed. It is two days earlier than I originally thought. So less waiting time. I will be on here soon w the results. Thanks to everyone who thinks of me & prays for me. I love you all! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	6	317	Sep 14, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Slogan for Today – Keep It Simple - 9/12/15 (Preview) Keep It Simple: The slogan, Keep It Simple helps to remind us that simple solutions are often the most effective ones. This slogan can help us look at what really is happening rather than what we imagine may happen, and to take a reasonable, step by step approach rather than act out of fear or panic. FEA...	Debb	3	3213	Sep 13, 2015 by Fairlee
	Boundaries versus control-codepency overload! (Preview) Hi everyone. I have been reading a lot about codependency and I think I got a little feisty and after an argument with my ah (that is not living with us since July and having to learn my job from him) I sent him an email saying what my boundaries where when he came over. Which was when he comes over to help me wi...	Helpangel	16	811	Sep 13, 2015 by Fairlee
	My reality vs my home group (closed) (Preview) I have a subject i struggle with at my home group alanon vs friends. I keep finding over and over in my home group after my mtg people do not trust my reality of life. I often find it very off putting. I am intelligent, with it and no fool. Maybe about my xah but otherwise a very grounded Person. I do not thi...	Mirandac	16	795	Sep 13, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 9-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the concept of awareness and acceptance. It points out that often we become aware of a problem and once we obtain that awareness , it must be followed by a period known as "acceptance ", before we can actually take an effective action. This is wh...	hotrod	4	599	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Getting detached (Preview) For a week and a half my wife and I got separated. We have been together for 4 years, well, 4 years tomorrow. We weren't having a healthy relationship, we never got physical but mental abusive and controlling. She was the one who took the decision. During the first two days I was in completely chaos becau...	Nchc	7	598	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 9/12 - Advise With Care (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) is particularly helpful to me in my recovery. Before I came to AlAnon, I didn't realize that my tendency to advise others was a symptom of me trying to control what I could not, nor should not. AlAnon helped me realize that telling others what they shou...	Enigmatic	7	760	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 13 speaks about living one day at a time so as to make every day an important day. Each day we can try to improve our relationship with HP,the people in our lives, and ourselves by using the 12 steps, prayer mediation and alanon principles to help us pursue this goal. ...	hotrod	2	454	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Slogan for Today – But For The Grace Of God - 9/13/15 (Preview) But For The Grace Of God: The slogan, But For The Grace Of God helps to remind us to be compassionate with others, including the alcoholics in our lives. This slogan can help us avoid impatience, criticism, resentment, and vengefulness, which does harm to ourselves as well as to others. THINK .. Th...	Debb	3	607	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	anger (Preview) It's a difficult emotion for me that is for sure and I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.Since the death of my ex I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.What am I angry at,could it be that I am sad and anger is easier or maybe it is because I wasn't the only woman at the funeral.The truth comes out...	mjferg	5	473	Sep 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dating an alcoholic (Preview) Hello All, I've been with my bf now for 6 months. He's been in recovery for almost 2 years now. He goes to all of his AA meetings every week and is dedicated to his sobriety. What I'm struggling with his that he cheated on me with his ex gf who also is in recovery. He was cheating on me throughout our entire re...	FlowerPower00	12	793	Sep 12, 2015 by littlelionman
	The landlady again (Preview) My landlady is a miserable person.This woman has bullied me for long enough,I have had problems with her before and I am not giving her any more power.Long story short,I have been having electrical problems,while I was focused on the funeral my electric wasn't working and my food spoiled.I came home...	mjferg	2	504	Sep 12, 2015 by Broken513
	we all have the same symptoms (Preview) As I go through the grieving process,I talked to the family members of my ex.We are all experiencing the same things.Insomnia,low appetite,tiredness.We are also feeling so many mixed feelings,it is exhausting.First there is anger,we are angry at a dead person,yes, that is difficult to process....	mjferg	5	707	Sep 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Concerned for grandkids (Preview) Hi, Need advice. My son-in-law is an alcoholic and I'm concerned for my grandsons mostly. He always drinks everyday. Has had 2 DUI's n my daughter has had to drive him because he lost his licences. He has his licences back but I'm confident that he still drinks & drives with the kids in the car cu...	babchimom7	7	723	Sep 11, 2015 by hiraeth
	Still Stuck by the Sickness of my Inner Child... (Preview) Hi Family :) Recently I have been Doing My Best to Practice Practice Practice with My Alcoholic Family and when I Say that I Mean I Need Every Tool in the Tool Box to Make that Happen. Tho we are ALL Alcoholics My(4 Siblings, Niece, Mom) and of Course the List goes on... However NOW One Sibling is that of a...	Jozie	5	476	Sep 11, 2015 by tiredtonite
	I quit the new job (Preview) I quit my new job this morning. The job wasn't the job I wanted but it was the one I was offered. I had decided to keep an open mind and give it a chance. On the surface it looked to be a good job with lots of potential. They said it was a newly created position and it sounded to me like a position where I could add v...	tiredtonite	10	622	Sep 11, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Anyone here now wanting to chat? I wondering how others deal with fear of more bad news (Preview) Because so much bad news has arrived via the phone, I get "triggered" when I see certain famIly members phone numbers showing up on my caller ID (or even phone numbers from that area code...as I fear someone who knows my family member is calling me with bad news)	lgnutah	13	772	Sep 11, 2015 by JanS
	identifying the fear (Preview) I woke up early this morning and really didn't want to face the day,I wanted to shut down, but my feelings keep coming in waves,okay,rough morning,what is it,what is this fear,moments of silence and then I know the truth,I am afraid I am going to get another call,I have family members who drink and use....	mjferg	4	627	Sep 11, 2015 by mjferg
	Is my ability to detect an alcoholic and having zero tolerance for them a product of being raised by alcoholics? (Preview) I just seem to be able to detect them, not tolerate them, not do anything about it, but still get on their bad side somehow. I'm not totally against drinking and get along fine with fun nights out filled with non-addicts and a little goofiness, but actual addicts just don't work with me and get really mad...	Kay2009	6	653	Sep 11, 2015 by hiraeth
	Topic – Learning To Trust – 9/11/15 (Preview) "Today, I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend on." It took a while before I became someone that I could trust, because my self esteem was shot. Step 4 helped me to overcome my lack of confidence and helped me to like myself by making a mor...	Debb	2	1913	Sep 11, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C 9-11 (Preview) September 11. C2C reading explores Step Four. It points out that many of us who have lived with the disease of alcoholism , devalue ourselves and unconsciously believe that our best is not good enough and that no matter what we do,it is not right. By working Step four we are offered a chance to f...	hotrod	1	504	Sep 11, 2015 by Debb
	Oh my goodness, does this program work or what!? (Preview) My mom and I have a complicated relationship with a looooooong history of co-dependence. It's been a real challenge for her to understand that I will not get on the crazy train any longer. She is suspicious and stirring the proverbial pot and snooping out of sheer panic and the need to control. I h...	LedfootJenny	7	618	Sep 10, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	I am afraid (Preview) I woke up very early this morning and I am deeply troubled .In the state that I live in,The beautiful state of West Virginia,we are now number one for heroin overdoses.My people are dropping like flies.At the funeral I was talking to a friend who works at a treatment center and she was numb,completely v...	mjferg	8	1002	Sep 10, 2015 by mjferg
	Venting (Preview) I didn't know what to put for a topic. Right now, things are so stressful. I just had my birthday, and things have been blowing up around me. I act like I have it all together but then something else happens. I'm dealing with major insomnia again. My car died. I've been driving my A's car now. Currently I'm...	gabigail	2	468	Sep 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Getting help (Preview) My 28-year-old son has struggled with addiction since he was in his teens. He has worked a lot of jobs over the years and drifted from one place to another. Every time he gets in a position where he might make progress, his addictive behavior pops up and causes disaster. He was just released from 2 months...	carolm	2	372	Sep 10, 2015 by Debb
	Dwelling, In the Past (Preview) Not in a great place this morning. Little trigger reminded me of the past. Trying to live in the present, placing past behind me. I don't like feeling what I feel. I've reached out to my HP for calm and although present, I don't have the instant gratification. I think that I need to learn that God will...	Bill S	5	524	Sep 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	losing faith in HP (Preview) Recently I have been having trouble trusting my HP. A series of events have taken place. At the beginning of the summer my sister became very ill and is now in hospice care. My car has experienced major problems. I have been having trouble in my friendships. And I feel like I don't fit in, in this new town I...	texasgal	6	702	Sep 10, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Alanon Readings 9-10 (Preview) ODAT reading for today, September 10, asked the question," What am I doing with the gifts that I have?" It is a powerful question and one that the reading goes on to discuss. It reminded me that if I am gifted with a good memory and am using it to just dig's up past hurts, or disappointme...	hotrod	2	765	Sep 10, 2015 by Jill
	what now? (Preview) I am trying to hard to focus on myself. I moved out 2 months ago and got my own place. We don't seem to be a typical couple affected by alcoholism, in that my AH is so focused on me, constant physical needs, will not give me space or honor boundaries. He wants togetherness, and I have fought for more space our...	oceanpine	4	635	Sep 10, 2015 by deacon
	Definition for 9/10/15 – Stumbling Block & Stepping Stones (Preview) The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them ODAT pg 185. I personally choose to look at lifes difficulties as a way to learn and solve problems. I believe that each obstacle is a proven way to learn a better way of living. Never been one to sit and suffer, rath...	Debb	2	2347	Sep 10, 2015 by hotrod
	HELP: Sister pregnant by drug addict/alcholic (Preview) Really need some advice. Last summer, my sister finalized her divorce from her alcoholic husband of 10 years. She and her daughter lived with me and my family during the year and a half she worked through the divorce. She was working full time, going to school full time and being a single mom. We (me/hus...	MayL	4	709	Sep 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Day one (Preview) It is day one after the funeral,and last night I woke up several times in the night,nights are bad,I have vivid dreams and I wake up with tears streaming down my face.I swear I can hear his voice and feel his presence beside me.I am going to be here a a lot,so bear with me.All I can do is write, and talk, and...	mjferg	10	703	Sep 10, 2015 by 1911A1
	Confused looking for answers (Preview) can someone explain to me what are our symptoms from living with an alcoholic? All the time I hear that yes that is a symptoms? Is there a place I can find all the answers? I just started to read the blue book of AA thinking it would tell me there? thanks	Hopeswims22	4	628	Sep 9, 2015 by pinkchip
	the loss of a dream (Preview) It is evening and I have taken my daughter to work and I sit alone,well my 2 cats and my dog are at my side.They bring me comfort and a sense of life continuing.It was a beautiful day,I visited the correctional facility,it was a group of addicts who had minor crimes.It took me a while but I got the courage...	mjferg	3	555	Sep 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Control (Preview) A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as con...	glad lee	22	4424	Sep 9, 2015 by oceanpine
	I so hate feeling uncomfortable (Preview) Relationships just always bring out these challenges in me. I was spending quite a bit of time with a friend of my brother's, who I know has developed a more-than-friends interest in me. I'm trying real hard to do things different and I know one of my important criteria I have now for possible future lon...	Aloha	7	694	Sep 9, 2015 by Aloha
	C2C 9-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 9 speaks about the miracle of attending a meeting and listening with an open mind. It suggests if we do so ,inevitably somebody at the meeting will share something that we so desperately need to hear and a new door opens .This is true of coming to MIP and reading the postings...	hotrod	3	479	Sep 9, 2015 by milkwood
	Definition for 9/9/15 – Codependency & The 4 M’s (Preview) According to disability studies specialist Lennard J. Davis, historically, the concept of co-dependence comes directly out of Alcoholics Anonymous (thought that interesting to learn), part of a dawning realization that the problem was not solely the addict, but also the family and friends w...	Debb	3	2741	Sep 9, 2015 by milkwood
	Just some reminders (Preview) S = Stop enabling, stop blaming yourself, and stop the flow of money A = Assemble a support group N = Nip excuses in the bud I = Implement boundaries T = Trust your instincts Y = Yield everything to God.Hi EveryoneMy son is continuing to grow and is doing well. I came across these messages and they brough...	Cathyinaz	7	748	Sep 9, 2015 by Green Eyes
	My heart aches as I prepare for the worst (Preview) Long story short, my AH of 9 years, who has been my best friend of almost 20, has relapsed again. He's using less than he was at the height of his addiction and yet his acts are even crazier. He has resorted to stealing money out of my personal bank account and pawning my personal belongings. It was the last...	muse00	7	703	Sep 8, 2015 by Mattie
	getting ready to say goodbye (Preview) It still doesn't seem real that my ex is gone and I will never get the chance to sit and talk with him again.I have my dress ready and I am dreading tomorrow.I am grieving hard already and the funeral is going to be so final.I feel like I can't breathe and there is such an emptiness in my heart.I don't want to d...	mjferg	14	713	Sep 8, 2015 by mjferg
	closure (Preview) The funeral was a good closure for me.There were a lot of people there,family,friends,everyone had a heavy heart because of the way he died.A lot of disrespect also,drinking buddies,reeking of alcohol,one of them drinking outside,And these were the people he rushed off to be with, and they will be...	mjferg	9	559	Sep 8, 2015 by mjferg
	it seems that i am in love!!! (Preview) Its a normal thing that happens to people, its biology, nature really. No need to shout about it? Well, ive been bitter, angry and resentful for so long due this disease i have that its a miracle. Ive allowed someone in, a miracle. Whether it works out or not, its happening, ive opened my mind wide enough...	el-cee	11	761	Sep 8, 2015 by el-cee
	I don't know where to start (Preview)	CE	13	885	Sep 8, 2015 by LinSC
	Hope for Today sept 8 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- Today's reading speaks to the strength and serenity that working the program can bring into our lives. The writer admits that as a young wife and mother she was attenpting to fill any voids she felt with her family, volunteering, attending church, working etc. They were al...	yanksfan51	3	556	Sep 8, 2015 by Debb
	It just keeps getting worse! (Preview) No matter how bad it gets, it keeps getting worse! This morning I couldn't find my glasses. Last thing I remembered they were on the bed. So I was looking under the bed for them. I didn't find my glasses. I did find a digital recording device. My A has been listening to all my phone conversations that I h...	JukuVee	10	741	Sep 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Fell off the wagon as I wrote... (Preview) So, I started a post out earlier today, but it had been abandoned as situations changed. This is only my second time posting here and I'm still very new to Al-Anon. My ABF has been abstaining from alcohol for three months. No recovery program (1 AA meeting and then he tried to do it himself, which was just...	Kab915	12	742	Sep 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	What to do in the middle of the night (Preview) I've only been to a handful of Al-Anon meetings so far so I am very new to this. Well, not to living with an alcoholic, but to Al-Anon. I do not have a sponsor yet and here I am at 12:30am being disrupted by my alcoholic after I had gone to bed at 10:30. What do I do at this time when there are no meetings and no...	veechee73	8	860	Sep 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Stop the drink (Preview) Okay, I just need some advise. So my AH has been told that I am not living with him if he drinks, whether it be one time or 1000 times, he knows I am over it and don't want it in my life anymore. So as of last Thursday he has not drank as far as I know, anyhow. So this Sunday he has a golf outing, I will be out of tow...	confused2015	6	525	Sep 8, 2015 by Debb
	how do I say a final goodbye (Preview) Today I bury the love of my life.I feel like I am in fog.I feel so dead inside.What can I say about the man who fought this demon.His smile would light up a whole room.He helped the less fortunate,he took food to friends who didn't have anything to eat.We helped other people,we took soap to a man who was hi...	mjferg	7	621	Sep 8, 2015 by Jen61
	Definition for 9/7/15 – Resentment (Preview) Resentment is anger resent, it goes round and round resending the feelings. ~ Al-anon Resentment is anger that seems to never end unless you want it to! Resentment stunts growth and eventually it can and will make us sick. It is said that, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the othe...	Debb	2	536	Sep 8, 2015 by confused2015
	My world is shattered: another typical story (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. My therapist had been recommending al anon for awhile, but now I'm ready. I will be attending my first meeting tomorrow night. Looking through all your stories, it really helps ease a fraction of the pain knowing that I'm not alone, and seeing so many similar stories to mine. I hav...	shattered	10	779	Sep 8, 2015 by confused2015
	grief (Preview) After hearing about my ex dying,I went numb for a while but now the feelings and the memories are flooding back,I cry every day,many times.I am waking up at night.I think about the way he died, alone, and I was right here.I was always here for him until things got so bad in my life and I had to let him go and no...	mjferg	14	913	Sep 8, 2015 by GreenerGal
	What does detaching with love look like in your life? (Preview) I'm stuck. I do ok, then I'm right back in the muck again! Checking myself is really helping me to own my stuff, but one thing that is really tripping me up is detaching with love. I am harboring tons of resentment. AH and I recently had yet another conversation where I poured out my heart to him and told him...	Fairlee	17	882	Sep 8, 2015 by hiraeth
	Definition for 9/8/15 – Denial (Preview) Denial is the shock absorber for the soul. It protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality. ~ C.S. Lewis Denial is a disbelief in the existence or reality in a thing. In Al-Anon, denial is when we hide how we feel, what we experience, and what we know. Even when good sense tells us something is w...	Debb	3	1997	Sep 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	CONFUSED (Preview) today, i feel confused. some days i feel strong and positive that i will do fine if i leave ah [after 25yrs] Today, things are mellow because ah is not drinking and trying to get some money/court things fixed. I think my decesion is a good one, then i think..oh i can deal with it being dull, but i know, he wil...	YARNCRAZY	5	493	Sep 8, 2015 by milkwood
	Tired of being the enabler... (Preview) It's been a week since I told him to leave; after 2 consecutive years. Our relationship started in 2010 and was rocky due to his drinking...he did make 'changes and adjustments' but never a full commitment to stop. He was drinking on the weekends which consisted of 6-9 on Fridays and Satudays and 6 Sund...	Nvrdnths	7	724	Sep 8, 2015 by milkwood
	my alanon community (Preview) I was just telling my sponsor that I feel connected to a community of people, who are all trying to improve themselves, and all of them have connected to an HP of their understanding, and if I think about all the people in my F2F, on this board, others who belong to alanon, and all of them connecting to a hig...	Lyne	9	575	Sep 8, 2015 by Green Eyes
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.