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One year on
(Preview)
Today is one year, more or less to the minute, when I asked my partner to leave the house. I didn't know that I was going to say it the minute before I said it. I feel very strongly that my conscious mind wasn't involved at all. It had checked out. It was my body reacting and screaming for change. My consc...
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gillygilly
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8
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570
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New to Al-Anon family group
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new to this site and support in general. I come from a very large family (I'm the youngest of 6 kids), almost all of whom are alcohol or drug-dependent. Other than my oldest brother who is 15 years older than me, I'm the only to not suffer from addiction, although I do (understandably...) have...
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tiiburbo
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7
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481
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C2C 9-19
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 19 speaks about Step Eight and making a list of all the people we have harmed. The reading notes, that it Is important to review what kind of harm we might do to others,before we can list the people we hurt. We can ask ourselves about situations in which each of our characte...
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hotrod
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1
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360
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Slogan for Today – Think - 9/19/15
(Preview)
The slogan, Think helps us to remember to think before we act on or react to situations. This slogan helps us make good decisions about how to act. When we apply this slogan, it helps free us from distorted thinking and impulsive, potentially destructive decision-making.THINK .. Thoughtful. Ho...
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Debb
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2
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509
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Adult Child of an Alcoholic or not?
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I have only just come across Al-anon this last week when my mums key worker suggested I look into local meetings, which I am doing. I have been doing lots of reading recently and have come across lots of info regarding Adult Children of Alcoholics, their personality traits and how futu...
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Mich3lle
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10
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606
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When is enough?
(Preview)
I have been reading some of the posts and I saw one about an anniversary that an ah started drinking again. I started thinking in the past 4 years that my ah and I have been together how many anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, there was a feeling of not good in the air and I have to tell you all of them. My a...
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Helpangel
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12
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679
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Hello!
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I am obviously new here,but not new to Alanon.I have been in recovery for nearly a year.I live in a very small town with only one f2f meeting available each week.I feel I need more than what I am receiving there,therefore I started searching online and ended up here. I hope I can find what...
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SoggySlippers
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9
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652
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phone ?????
(Preview)
Hi all I have not posted for a while but feel the, urge to share this with you all. I have been in recovery for a few years people have alwaystold me to use my phone reach out. I havealways been good at taking calls from others in programme especially New comers. And Idid use, my phone when in a, lot of pain. I...
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Tracy
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1
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446
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Slogan for Today – How Important Is It - 9/18/15
(Preview)
The slogan, How Important Is It helps us to have perspective, to determine what is of most value to us personally, and to avoid being upset over things that are of minimal importance at the moment. It helps free us to appreciate the good things that life offers. WAIT: Why Am I TalkingTGIF!
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Debb
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3
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641
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C2C 9-18
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 18 speaks about how our growth in Al-Anon is all a process and that time will offer us evidence that the program works. We can see the growth in our lives when we take the time to reflect about where we were a 6 month to a year ago. The longer that we live by these principles...
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hotrod
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6
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520
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It's been a long time
(Preview)
Hi, I have not posted in a long time. I read your post frequently. It gives me hope that I might get better. I think I've stepped off the deep end and I'm afraid I won't know how to come back. i have been crying over the breakup of my marriage and my AH drinking again. I was attending 3 or 4 alanon meetings...
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Confused2379
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8
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614
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Sorry
(Preview)
I want to apologize to anyone i offended with my last post. i wish i never started it from the start. The subject matters Are things i struggle with, have nothing to do with any of You. You all have been a great help and support and have helped me to keep My sanity. thank you for your warmth and caring. I wil...
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Mirandac
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17
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794
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a stressfull day, happy to have al anon!
(Preview)
Here's my day: Found out I may have to move (not sure but good chance rental is being sold) Nursing program starts next week, bought my $2,000 text books, getting nervous. Then received an email they are changing the requirements (after accepting us) we now have a biology class also. Last day to regist...
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Rinn
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3
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385
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roses & orchids
(Preview)
I received roses & orchids from my church family today. My pastor & friend delivered them today. What joy fills my soul. & I am not a member yet. I consider them Friends. I am so grateful for thoughtful people. Just when you think you aren't important someone reminds you.
Good thoughts ar...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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357
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The aftermath
(Preview)
I have been looking forward to my fall break from school for so long,it has been a tough and tiring semester.Now as I sit here,in the aftermath of the funeral I look around at the work I am behind on,laundry baskets running over,floors that need swept and mopped, and a host of other chores,I feel overw...
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mjferg
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2
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482
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good day for gratitude
(Preview)
I have so much to be grateful for. And nothing to be ungrateful for. No one ever says that they are ungrateful. I find myself wondering if I can find something to share that would benefit others. Maybe I can plant a seed in someone's mind or heart. I know that all this time in the program has made me wiser. Th...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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412
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C2C 9-17
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 17 speaks about "people pleasing " and how destructive this can become when we ignore our own needs and sacrifice ourselves and our well-being for the sake of others. The reading points out that it is important to get along with others an know how to work toge...
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hotrod
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2
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386
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Slogan for Today – Let It Begin With Me - 9/17/15
(Preview)
The slogan, Let It Begin With Me helps us to keep the focus on and be responsible for our own actions and behaviors. This slogan helps us to take action to change the things we can change and to take the responsibility to get our own needs met, rather than waiting for others to change or to meet our needs for...
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Debb
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3
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930
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AH spoils a good day but I dont care!!!
(Preview)
The good part: Well.... I did it...sort of..well I will be doing it......called a phone number that a friend gave me to a friend of hers that has been going to al anon meetings for years...she was very delightful to talk to......she said she would sit with me at the f2f Sat morning and even hold my hand if I...
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Broken513
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5
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668
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Log in inquiry
(Preview)
hi guys..is there a way somehow to print or have a list of how many times I've logged in? I know it sounds silly but since I'm not able to attend f2f meetings yet..I'm starting here. .my case worker wants a "report" of my log ins. Just to make sure I am surfing this website..any help would be ap...
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mvg
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2
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316
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Alcoholism really is a family disease
(Preview)
My now ex partner is a recovering alcoholic (he may have relapsed now for all I know) In summary, we were together for around 11 years. The first 6 he was an active drinker (the drinking was always the excuse for his bad behavior), the last 5 he was sober (no excuse for his bad behavior). I thought if he coul...
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jml2012
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12
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982
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Realising how much I still have to work on me.
(Preview)
It has been a while since I posted. More than a year actually. I have done a lot of work on 'ME' after leaving my addict ex-husband. Over the past few years I have really improved a lot. I got emotionally and financially back on my feet. I worked my butt off and was accepted into a Nursing program and hav...
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Rinn
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6
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585
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my chaos
(Preview)
Hi everyone This is the very first time I use al-anon in my life! I mean, not using al-anon, but getting in touch with you folks On my way in the last weeks I came to this al-anon site and when I ticked 18 of these 20 questions I knew I needed to get in touch, to do something after all. I am German, a free spritit,...
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annie-dresden
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19
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1159
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Still waiting ..
(Preview)
Still no job and trying not to go on meltdown mode, we are making due and doing ok. It's just kind of scary. It is what it is and I will get to where I need to be .. it's the flipping waiting that is driving me crazy. Some funny things that happened is having as much free time as I do I have to get out of the apart...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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479
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Prayer update ..
(Preview)
I have a little more information on the two situations that have been going on around me. My friends son is in rehab however not by his choice. So good news bad news kind of thing. My heart dropped when she told me exactly how bad things had really gotten. Maybe at least the seeds of recovery are startin...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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387
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There is always love
(Preview)
Even in this darkness I am able to see God's mighty power at work.Finals are over and I have a long fall break before I go back to class.I have been concerned about having so much time on my hands after the funeral,I wasn't quite sure how I would cope.Well, yesterday a friend of mine called and said a tiny ki...
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mjferg
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6
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604
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C2C 9-16
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 16 speaks about "negative thoughts" and suggests that in the midst of a crisis these thoughts tell us the worst-case scenario and It is easy to think that they reflect the truth. The reading goes on to explain" feelings are not facts" and that...
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hotrod
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4
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434
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Slogan for Today – Just For Today - 9/16/15
(Preview)
Just For Today: The slogan, Just For Today tells us that things are more manageable when we deal with and live in the present. Things that seem way too difficult to manage long term may seem more manageable if we deal with them just for today. We can move forward in small steps rather than be overwhelmed b...
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Debb
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5
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1314
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words cannot describe.
(Preview)
I can see & I am so amazed by it! I feel a sense of relief & now I don't have to wait any longer. Those who have been following my posts probably have noticed the frustration that I had been going through. I know that all of you were waiting for the results of my eye procedure. I am happy to say that all w...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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667
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finals week
(Preview)
My finals were yesterday,I gave my speech and my instructor said it was amazing,the best she had ever heard from a student!She gave me an A plus.I felt amazing, as if I had uncovered some secret desire that has been hidden in my heart.When I was a little girl I spent a lot of time in my room reading,writing...
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mjferg
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5
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408
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Slightly Off-Topic - Song Lyrics that I am Digging Right Now...
(Preview)
song....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ "...
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Iamhere
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8
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679
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Slogan for Today – First Things First - 9/15/15
(Preview)
First Things First: The slogan, First Things First helps us to set reasonable priorities and to keep a realistic perspective. This slogan helps us to make choices we are comfortable with, and to act with balance rather than react to crises. {{HUGS To Everyone}}
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Debb
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5
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654
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Sponsor Help
(Preview)
Hi! I have been in Al-Anon for a year and currently have a sponsor with whom I work the steps (on step 8). I attend two meetings a week. One is my home group and the other is an open AA meeting. I semi-regularly attend a "How Al-Anon works" book study. I hold a service position in my home group. Wh...
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amf
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5
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5951
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Local alanon meetings are all at night or are "closed" meetings
(Preview)
I come to this online message board to learn the alanon tools because all the meetings that are a reasonable driving distance for me are either listed as closed or are at night (I dont drive at night). There are lots of AA meetings that are open or in the daytime, but not alanon.
Can I get a sponsor through...
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lgnutah
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8
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630
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Hope for Today sept 15- sorry posted w no topic
(Preview)
Good mothing everyone- Today's reading is about making amends. The writer notes that her most profound experience with making amends came from receiving amends from someone else in the fellowship. I have not had that particular experience, but I do remember as I was working the steps with my spon...
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yanksfan51
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4
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444
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this should be a relief, but it isn't
(Preview)
My husband and I have been married for over 5 years. For at least the past 3 years I have suspected his is an alcoholic. I have confronted him more times than i can even count. He always denied, said I had the problem with his drinking not him, said everyone drinks, said he doesn't miss work because of drink...
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Paisley74
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5
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566
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Praciticing my program ..
(Preview)
So I have been reminded that I am so not in control .. my car has been out of commission since last week. My girlfriend's husband who I just don't like and I think I figured it out .. there is part me and part he reminds me of my XAH. God has a wicked sense of humor .. lol .. the husband offered to fix my car for fr...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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593
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my speech
(Preview)
On top of everything else I have been going through I am in finals week at school.It is good for me though,I am glad I am busy.I will say the worse thing I can do is lay in my bed.My mind starts twisting things all around and has me feeling responsible for every tragic event that ever happened in my life.I tu...
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mjferg
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4
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587
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What a mess!
(Preview)
Alcoholics make of their lives and, despite our attempts to detach, of others. My son is presently in another country far across the ocean and a couple of continents. His visa expired some time ago and he knows he is going to have to leave and come home. He met a girl when he was there, fell in love and now.....
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deacon
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3
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544
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C2C 9-14
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 14 speaks about the destructive habits that we develop having lived with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that because of many painful lessons and experiences, we tend to lose the ability to "Hope", sink into despair, shut down our feelings and ref...
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hotrod
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4
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456
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Boundaries- OMG he came around!
(Preview)
After a painful weekend and thinking we are finally done bc of everything I wrote (boundary vs control) he said well I read it again today and now it's not that bad and that he is sorry we fought and he causes so many problems. Say what??? Why is it that when he ends it I hurt but I'm ok. Why can't I say I'm sorry...
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Helpangel
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4
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574
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What should I do? Opinions wanted please
(Preview)
Last week I found our three year old in my front yard unattended. My husband drove to daycare to pick her up, drunk, and left her in the yard when he got home. I pulled around the corner minutes after he came home thank god. I took his keys and wallet and called his mother to come get him. We are now separated....
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ACoffman
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9
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641
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Discussing CoDependcy with a Teenager .. LOL
(Preview)
My daughter and I had a funny/ironic discussion about codependency and how parts of us are pretty much groomed from an early age to people please, be the peace makers and so on, looking for that positive reinforcement that we are enough. Somewhere my thinking got distorted that I wasn't enough and lo...
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SerenityRUS
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1
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369
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Living with a "dry drunk". New here
(Preview)
My husband was involved in a drinking and driving accident a little over a month ago. Thankfully he did not hit someone else and was not seriously injured. Through an intervention we were able to convince him to go for treatment. He was admitted into a detox facility for only 2 days because his sympt...
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saalbema
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10
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863
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Driving me crazy
(Preview)
My AH, who hasn't drank in 1 week is driving me crazy. I am angry with him because of all that has been done to our relationship. He wants to act like nothing is wrong, I am having a tough time with this. He sends me cute, (dumb), little texts and I don't know how to reply because, in all reality, I don't car...
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confused2015
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5
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600
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Slogan for Today – Easy Does It - 9/14/15
(Preview)
Easy Does It: The slogan, Easy Does It helps us remember that trying to force solutions often does not work. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time frame we wish to solve it in. Some problems may not be for us to solve. Sometimes a gentler, more patient approach is more effective and less frus...
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Debb
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1
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445
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Tomorrow!
(Preview)
Tomorrow is the day of my eye procedure! I am excited & a bit overwhelmed. It is two days earlier than I originally thought. So less waiting time. I will be on here soon w the results.
Thanks to everyone who thinks of me & prays for me. I love you all!
Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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262
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Slogan for Today – Keep It Simple - 9/12/15
(Preview)
Keep It Simple: The slogan, Keep It Simple helps to remind us that simple solutions are often the most effective ones. This slogan can help us look at what really is happening rather than what we imagine may happen, and to take a reasonable, step by step approach rather than act out of fear or panic. FEA...
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Debb
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3
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3001
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Boundaries versus control-codepency overload!
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I have been reading a lot about codependency and I think I got a little feisty and after an argument with my ah (that is not living with us since July and having to learn my job from him) I sent him an email saying what my boundaries where when he came over. Which was when he comes over to help me wi...
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Helpangel
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16
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729
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My reality vs my home group
(closed)
(Preview)
I have a subject i struggle with at my home group alanon vs friends. I keep finding over and over in my home group after my mtg people do not trust my reality of life. I often find it very off putting. I am intelligent, with it and no fool. Maybe about my xah but otherwise a very grounded Person. I do not thi...
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Mirandac
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16
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721
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C2C 9-12
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the concept of awareness and acceptance. It points out that often we become aware of a problem and once we obtain that awareness , it must be followed by a period known as "acceptance ", before we can actually take an effective action. This is wh...
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hotrod
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4
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524
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Getting detached
(Preview)
For a week and a half my wife and I got separated. We have been together for 4 years, well, 4 years tomorrow. We weren't having a healthy relationship, we never got physical but mental abusive and controlling. She was the one who took the decision. During the first two days I was in completely chaos becau...
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Nchc
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7
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520
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ODAT 9/12 - Advise With Care
(Preview)
Today's reading in One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) is particularly helpful to me in my recovery. Before I came to AlAnon, I didn't realize that my tendency to advise others was a symptom of me trying to control what I could not, nor should not. AlAnon helped me realize that telling others what they shou...
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Enigmatic
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7
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671
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C2C 9-13
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 13 speaks about living one day at a time so as to make every day an important day. Each day we can try to improve our relationship with HP,the people in our lives, and ourselves by using the 12 steps, prayer mediation and alanon principles to help us pursue this goal. ...
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hotrod
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2
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375
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Slogan for Today – But For The Grace Of God - 9/13/15
(Preview)
But For The Grace Of God: The slogan, But For The Grace Of God helps to remind us to be compassionate with others, including the alcoholics in our lives. This slogan can help us avoid impatience, criticism, resentment, and vengefulness, which does harm to ourselves as well as to others. THINK .. Th...
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Debb
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3
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522
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anger
(Preview)
It's a difficult emotion for me that is for sure and I have been experiencing a lot of it lately.Since the death of my ex I have been on a roller coaster of emotions.What am I angry at,could it be that I am sad and anger is easier or maybe it is because I wasn't the only woman at the funeral.The truth comes out...
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mjferg
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5
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402
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Dating an alcoholic
(Preview)
Hello All, I've been with my bf now for 6 months. He's been in recovery for almost 2 years now. He goes to all of his AA meetings every week and is dedicated to his sobriety. What I'm struggling with his that he cheated on me with his ex gf who also is in recovery. He was cheating on me throughout our entire re...
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FlowerPower00
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12
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724
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The landlady again
(Preview)
My landlady is a miserable person.This woman has bullied me for long enough,I have had problems with her before and I am not giving her any more power.Long story short,I have been having electrical problems,while I was focused on the funeral my electric wasn't working and my food spoiled.I came home...
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mjferg
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2
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440
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we all have the same symptoms
(Preview)
As I go through the grieving process,I talked to the family members of my ex.We are all experiencing the same things.Insomnia,low appetite,tiredness.We are also feeling so many mixed feelings,it is exhausting.First there is anger,we are angry at a dead person,yes, that is difficult to process....
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mjferg
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5
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623
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Concerned for grandkids
(Preview)
Hi, Need advice. My son-in-law is an alcoholic and I'm concerned for my grandsons mostly. He always drinks everyday. Has had 2 DUI's n my daughter has had to drive him because he lost his licences. He has his licences back but I'm confident that he still drinks & drives with the kids in the car cu...
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babchimom7
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7
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657
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