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Read Should I stay or should I go by Bancroft and patrissi. Ah and I have completely different views
(Preview)
I have been reading a lot about why I can't just let go. My ah has been moved out about 45 days now. I told him to leave after He relapsed twice since December where he was in a 30 day treatment. Since he has left he has been seeing a therapist, a minister, psychologist, another therapist and going to meeting...
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Helpangel
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6
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599
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I'm Trying
(Preview)
Short history: AH started his program after an arrest in late April. I found out he was still drinking in late August. He made a promise to stop completely that day.
--- I am trying really really hard to believe him and to detach from my need to search out the truth. But I am having a hard time with it. No, o...
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EarlyBird
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8
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513
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C2C 9-26
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 26 speaks about feelings. It points out that anger, resentment, self-pity and fear are merely feelings. They are part of who we are as human beings and neither a bad or good. If I attempt to shut down my negative feelings I also shut down my happiness and joy. It is bett...
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hotrod
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6
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552
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What a difference a year makes
(Preview)
This time last year, the fuel pump on my truck went in a smaller town outside the capitol city of the state where I live. I completely broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, because although I got the truck into a safe parking spot in a parking lot, it was after 9 pm and I didn't know who to call for a ride home,...
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Skorpi
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23
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907
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rock bottom
(Preview)
This week has been so low after more than 40 years i finally admitted no myself i really don't want to live like this any more. i have lost family members friends relationships all because i dont know how to say no!
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fij
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4
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641
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good start to the day!
(Preview)
I just want to share w/ you how amazing life is when I don't complain. I got off to a good start this morning. Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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355
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Strictly trying to wrap my mind around what's going on ..
(Preview)
My sponsor is so sick at the moment so I'm just coming here to reason some things out in my mind, typing it out helps me make sense out of nonsense and what I just need to let go of. I hate to burden her in any way right now. First off job is AWESOME .. I really can't believe that I have been so blessed I am walkin...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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439
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fool at fair still/been 1wk
(Preview)
my AH has been detoxing from his latest binge at a motel about an hour away from home. he got totally blitzed and from what i can hear fom the phone calls, he is just barely coming around tonite. Meanwhile, I have secuured some funds to leave him. however im crying alot. its such a heatbreak to have to leave...
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YARNCRAZY
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6
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441
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Drinking and driving accident
(Preview)
My AS has really done it this time. He saved enough money to buy a 500.00 car. He had it less than a month. Last Thursday he rolled the car into a ditch. He was going South driving into the North lane. Lucky he did not kill himself or anyone else. He was very drunk. He has a fractured vertebra in his neck, concu...
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SayLaV
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5
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755
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choices we make
(Preview)
After the recent death of my ex due to an overdose I have been going through a big range of emotions,I was starting to go into a depression, so I started writing in my journal and really started processing what happened,I had to look at the truth or drive myself crazy.I was feeling like there was more I co...
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mjferg
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3
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561
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A Thought for Today ~ There are no mistakes ~ 9/25/15
(Preview)
There are no mistakes, only lessons.Admitting our mistakes and making amends is a step forward. If we make a mistake and then brood or lash out, that means that we are missing out on learning something important. Try to stop living in the past and future and be mindful of the present. When I make a mist...
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Debb
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5
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638
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C2C 9-25
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 25 speaks about Step Three. This is the Step that we can take over and over again as we face a difficult situation and when we awaken. We can be willing to place our entire life, and will in the hands of HP with the willingness to accept HP's will for me, no matter what. The awa...
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hotrod
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2
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430
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Jumbled mess of feelings
(Preview)
Hi all, it has been sometime since I have posted, but I do read here often for E/S/H. As of late I have such a mixed bag of thoughts and feelings. My AH has now been sober 17 months. He attends meetings, has a sponsor and will on occasion attend an event (not often). Although there has been growth, I still fee...
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Flower49
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7
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690
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Trickle down effect of Alcoholics
(Preview)
I'm looking for some guidance on what others think of my current situation. I am in AA and so is my wife. (9 years and 5 years) We understand the program well but my older brother still struggles. My parents are also huge enablers to my brother and my mom's health is not good. I have plans to visit my mom...
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mydrunkbrother
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5
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664
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Aloha Piha Aloha Kela...au hui ho.
(Preview)
I did that in my native language because my sister was native also. Her name is Aloha Kela and she has just crossed the line into Akua's hale...God's house. She was easy to love because she was love and I could not help learning from her. I first met her at an AA morning meeting here in Hilo and before s...
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Jerry F
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5
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567
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Still struggling
(Preview)
I am trying so hard to stay focused on what matters, and letting go of my BF. It's been since Friday when he ended things with me abruptly, and has not contacted me since. I feel so betrayed. He recently moved 45 min away from me; I know he will be coming my way to go to a class this weekend. I'm really hoping he...
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Restless Soul
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4
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524
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Introduction in Full
(Preview)
Hello Everyone Thank you for having me on this site. I have posted once before and you were all so helpful. But i never really went into what my life is like now. If you don't mind hearing me, i really need to talk to someone. I moved away from an abusive marriage in 2007. Bought some land, as i was a realtor ba...
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TrishaG
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8
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403
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Baffled by Boundaries
(Preview)
So, my AH has mostly stopped going to meetings but is working the steps with his sponsor while they go camping and fishing a weekend or two a month. I continue to work on me and my serenity and have done a really good job of staying on my side of the street. Last night however, I realized he continues to cro...
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LedfootJenny
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7
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668
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Broken hearted
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I am new to this forum and new to the Al-Anon community. I am reaching out to your community at a very stressful, and confusing time in my life . First I will give you a little back story: In October of 2014 I met a guy that we'll call Irish (to protect his identity of course). I was a new to the d...
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Restless Soul
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10
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607
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feeling pressured by alcoholic
(Preview)
My abf keeps talking to me about getting legally married. I am confused about this as I do not believe getting legally married will change anything. He has a strong belief in god however continues to binge drink. He will go for 2 days straight and longer if he is off work. He was drinking the day before aft...
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joker
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4
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604
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Being replaced by someone new
(Preview)
Hello all! I'm new here and searching for any words of wisdom/advice I can get from my situation. I'm sorry that this will be kind of long. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic for 3 years. It's actually hard to say exactly how long because we never really ended our relationship. He just kind o...
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MissBrightside
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6
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609
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Possible to get back with an ex who is now sober?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Hello. I am still fairly new to all this Al Anon but I love it. I was dating a girl for a year and a half. She became sober early in May and we decided to split ways. It is natural, I think, to wonder that she will get better and things would be fine between us. Also, since I am in a healthier state of mind thr...
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cfittx23
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56
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7132
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On God & Coincidences ~ 9/24/15
(Preview)
A coincidence is a little miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous. I believe that coincidences are littlenudges or love taps from HP on our journey through life. It maybe HPs way of showing us that we are moving in the right direction and think that it is at those times that being thankful is a...
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Debb
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4
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645
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C2C 9-24
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 24 speaks about being in an Al-Anon meeting with others who truly understand the disease of alcoholism and the painful experiences of living with the disease. Many of us, as the results of living with the disease, develop a martyr like attitude. We see ourselves...
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hotrod
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1
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408
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where do i go from here?
(Preview)
Just thinking. It is time to branch out & meet new people. I am in the process. Connecting w women of different ages & different backgrounds. It is a nice way to get to know new & interesting people in & out of the program. It I so much easier now that I have al anon.
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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447
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Question about Dry Drunkedness
(Preview)
I don't want to "bury the lead" so right here at the top of this post is my question: all the definitions I've seen of Dry Drunk seemed to suggest that it pertains exclusively to people that had a drinking problem but don't drink now. That are abstinent, but not sober. That are effectively &qu...
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iShaman
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10
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7709
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Letting Go
(Preview)
Today I am full of anxiety over my AS. I have been doing pretty good with detaching with love and just letting him live his own life,without interfering.I had been feeling so much serenity by turning him over to his HP.Every morning when I say my prayers,I ask for help in standing back,staying out of the...
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SoggySlippers
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9
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637
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AH starting to slack on going to meetings
(Preview)
My AH has been sober for what is coming up on 4 months. He is starting to slack on meetings and hasn't gone to one in three weeks. Asked him about if he was going tonight after work but he said he probably wouldn't because he may have to work late. I just have to remind myself to let go and let god and that his...
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Jazzie18
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4
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530
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C2C 9-23
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 23 speaks about "reacting "to situations instead of taking the time to process what is going on and then "responding" with our principles intact. Prior to program., the reading points out that many of us respond" in kind", to behav...
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hotrod
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3
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456
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It's the last time
(Preview)
DS got drunk for several days. Didn't go to work at his new great job. GF and mother of their 3 month old, got an order of protection. Cops came and threw him out. For the first time ever, he took care of himself. Called a detox and went directly there. 4 days later he landed in rehab. Wednesday he leaves afte...
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laurab
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25
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1036
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Slogan for Today – Let Go And Let God - 9/23/15
(Preview)
Let Go And Let God helps us to let go of trying to control things we can not control. When our attempts at control are not working, when we feel we have run out of options, when we dont know what we can do, this slogan helps us trust that a Power greater than ourselves will help us when the time is right. YANA = Y...
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Debb
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6
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760
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New here, looking for advice/support/i don't know
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here, as it has become glaringly obvious that my kids dad has chosen alcohol over his family. Heres a brief history: I am a mom of 2 little guys (ages 2 1/2 and 4 months old). We got pregnant by surprise and I wasn't working when I found out I was pregnant. we moved in together and decided to give th...
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movingforward
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4
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682
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Just a Post To Say Hi and Update
(Preview)
I haven't posted something personal to you all in a while and thought it would be nice to send out a personal hello and how are you all. Been doing very well dealing with AH, thanks to you all and Al-anon. I think that what is the biggest help for me is helping others and sharing my ESH. Looking forward to...
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Debb
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2
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342
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she showed up right away
(Preview)
My friend made it right after I posted. I won't let that happen again. I will just leave & have hubby wait for me. By the way I have 20/20 one eye. 20/25 in the other. I thank God for this wonderful blessing & answer to prayer. Never really thought I would be so fortunate to get a chance again at 20/20...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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418
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Struggling
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am struggling today. As noted in my last post recovering alcoholic BF broke up with me very abruptly on Friday, and I have not heard from him since. This has been an extremely painful last few days. I dropped his things off at his parents house today and had a heart to heart with his father. I...
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Restless Soul
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6
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475
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i hate waiting!
(Preview)
Waiting on a friend again. This time for 2 hours. It seems like it happens often anymore. I am waiting here wanting to get on the library computer. I have trouble posting on this phone. My husband needs the phone. That is my complaint for the day.
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Hoot Nanny
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0
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455
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Is this an alcoholic trait or...?
(Preview)
This is probably a silly question to ask and I know I shouldn't be trying to analyze my AH's behavior anyway, but dang it, I just want to try to understand. My AH seems to be avoiding real responsibility. Of course when I type it out it seems so obvious that it IS an alcoholic trait. My AH graduated from a mas...
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RealitySucker
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8
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619
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Hi Everyone
(Preview)
It's been a while hasn't it. I come and read but don't post too much....my bad. A little about what has been happening to me. I got a really nice raise at work but in the talk I got called out for my attitude. I was asked to be not so up front and in your face to co-workers. I do a great job they but PLEASE ( l...
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Cathyinaz
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6
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526
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fool at the fair
(Preview)
just as i thought.. ah goes away for the weekend and gets totally wasted and now cant drive home and be at work tomorow. didnt need 1 minute in school to predict that... each time he does this, he is in more danger of his brother firing him and 1 step closer to homelessness for the both of us. my cousin who cla...
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YARNCRAZY
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6
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551
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FINALLY!!!
(Preview)
I finally got a JOB .. WOOT WOOT .. I don't start until Wednesday or Thursday, which is going to make things rough however I have gotten this far I can't quit now and I'm still applying for part-time work as well. I have to dig out as fast as I can. I have to figure out how to get through the next 2 weeks and fig...
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SerenityRUS
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13
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523
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Slogan for Today – Live And Let Live - 9/22/15
(Preview)
Live And Let Live has two parts. Let live reminds us to allow others the dignity of making their own decisions and experiencing the consequences of their decisions and choices. By minding our own business, we are freed from feeling responsible for changing other. We also learn to live by taking care o...
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Debb
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6
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3919
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Sick at Heart
(Preview)
I just received a Facebook message from my 36 year old alcoholic son's half-brother. Not too long ago this young man angrily blamed me for my son's problems and I didn't think I would hear from him again, but tonight I got this: "Wanted to let you know (my son) seems to be developing some mental iss...
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ftrvr
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8
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684
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Letting down the wall
(Preview)
So, I have had a wall up with my AH for the last 2 weeks since I told him I was not dealing with the drinking anymore. Well this weekend I began to slowly let it down, I kissed him a couple times, held his hand in bed, chit chatted some. Well last night he gets mad at me because I had our youngest child use our sh...
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confused2015
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14
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748
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am I alone in this?
(Preview)
Am I alone in this? My AH is still convinced that he doesn't have diabetes which I may be able to accept but he says that he doesn't eat sugar at all or better yet he has been saying that since he hasn't been eating sugar, he can see himself as to not having sugar at all. Just every chance he gets. He is fooling h...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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557
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Got my books FINALLY!
(Preview)
Got my books today...3 more coming by the end of the week...today I got One day at a time, Courage to change, and How Al Anon works...just waiting now for Hope for today, Courage to be me and in all our affairs, making crisis work for you.....by the weekend if you cannot find me I'll be locked in my room r...
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Broken513
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7
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539
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Hope for today sept 22
(Preview)
good morning everyone: today's reading is about accepting other people for who they are; not expecting change in others but learning to change our own behavior as needed. The reading begins with the writer describing how difficult it has been to talk openly and honestly wits family members. Spea...
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yanksfan51
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3
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449
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Distorted Thinking ..
(Preview)
I'm really having a moment today and this has bothered me all weekend .. it's always harder when I'm in more of a panic regarding money. My XAH has decided he doesn't need to pay the State .. he is to pay the County .. what that translates to is him saving 16$ a week because he has to pay through the State. NE...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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954
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Hello, new and looking for advise
(Preview)
Hello, I am a mom of 2 kids ages 4 and 6 mo. My husband has had a drinking issue as long as I have know him. He is what I would call a binge drinker, it's not that he drinks every night but when he starts he drinks in excess and makes poor choices. It had been a battle between us for years. He thinks he is a normal guy...
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Boymom
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8
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669
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Slogan for Today – Keep An Open Mind - 9/21/15
(Preview)
The slogan, Keep An Open Mind helps us to be open to ideas from sources that we might not have imagined could be helpful. It helps us to take advantage of all opportunities. FAITH = Finding Answers In The HeartHappy Monday!
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Debb
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2
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1034
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new here, need some advice, tired so very tired of living with this
(Preview)
New here, have never joined a group. I have been married for almost 25 years with two grown children. My AH is a functioning one, but when he does drink its hurtful and we get into huge fights. Last night we got into one again. He works out of town and i see him on weekends. Right now i have no idea really h...
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sandydd
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4
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457
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C2C 9-21
(Preview)
The C2C reading for September 21 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that living with this disease, we become fearful and dread change. This is not because life is perfect but because we are familiar with the chaos, think we're in control and dread any change.The r...
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hotrod
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2
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452
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Working Hard but Struggling to Release Control
(Preview)
I had a pretty good day going. I had set plans to go to my local Al Anon meeting & I was looking forward to it. I got a call from my Alcoholic and immediately my radar went off. She sounded animated and somewhat stressed. I have been struggling with interpreting my "new wife's" new atti...
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Bill S
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9
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653
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What makes people afraid to go to F2F Meetings?
(Preview)
Hoping comments on this question might make me a better participant to newcomers at meetings. linsc
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LinSC
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17
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644
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I don't know whether I should revoke the charges?
(Preview)
A week or so a go things got bad at home with the drinking and verbal abuse and it was really escalating. My partner of 10 years was saying he was leaving me 'when he gets some money' or 'when he gets his licence' back and so he was saying how bad things are (and how bad I am) and how it was over but wouldn't actu...
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brightyellow
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30
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1050
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A 9th step group...
(Preview)
I got the opportunity to do the lead last evening at our home group and using the How Al-Anon Works Big Book the meeting took flight. I chose the 9th because of me it is where the "me changing me" process started and has continued for all the time I've been in recovery. At first I just didn't...
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Jerry F
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8
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583
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First f2f experience
(Preview)
The meeting itself was amazing. the topic was reaction. So I was really able to relate to it. I didn't share of course. I was a little bit suffocated..I have an issue with dealing with a big group of people..anxiety attacks...but I stayed..a lot of people in a small room...I just kept asking HP to help to...
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Broken513
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7
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585
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Sept 20th ...ODAT
(Preview)
This is the reading for me which our program is all about. I didn't get it and wouldn't get it the first time I saw it and then for my own peace of mind and serenity I got it every time after even yesterday as my alcoholic son attended the birthday party. He is sick...mind, body, spirit and emotions and w...
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Jerry F
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2
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619
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My husband relapsed on our wedding anniversary.
(Preview)
I think I'm just here to vent, but my head is spinning, so I'm really not sure. Today is my second wedding anniversary. The first conversation AH and I ever had about my perception of his alcohol problem was 3 months before our wedding. Our entire marriage has been consumed by the struggle that is alcoh...
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RealitySucker
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25
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993
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Feeling guilt for my child's problems
(Preview)
As a mother of an adult child with both drug and alcohol problems, how do I stop feeling all this guilt? I think back to all of the times when I made excuses for him, gave him money when I shouldn't have and generally tried to come up with a solution for each of the situations he got himself into. He's 28 years...
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carolm
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13
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631
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In need of a sponsor
(Preview)
Greetings, I'm new to this forum. I'm not new to alanon. I've been to a couple not very helpful meetings. However the last one I attended I learned of sponsorship in alanon. My husband is a recovering alcoholic/addict. My story is in my bio. I know the ins and outs of AA. I'm a stay home/disabled mom. I've...
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Mrs_Odog
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1
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400
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