Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

confused2015 · confused2015

So yesterday my AH sat down next to me and asked, Do you want to go to therapy with me or am I going on my own? Not sure what brought this on but ok, I'll go with it. I said, I think you need to go by yourself and then later maybe I will go with you. But you need to make sure whoever you see specializes in alcoho...

yesor · yesor

Hi all, I'm new and I have a question about protecting the Anonymity of the Alcoholic. I have recently joined Al-Anon, and feel that I have arrived at a place where I feel it is helpful to share my personal journey with a few close friends, to allow them to support me and to break out of my own cycle of de...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about keeping the focus on 'one day at a time' and remembering step 11 and the faith we have in our HPs will for us. When I think about living one day at a time I think about living in the present, and frankly- how difficult that can be at times. For me I don't get s...

Debb · Debb

The way I speak often reveals more than what I say. To make the program work for me, it is important to be LIVING IT. This will reveal itself in everything I do and say."By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach."We can talk as much as we need to but soon...

Debb · Debb

"The alcoholic cannot be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried everything. He won't listen to reason. I've yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave--nothing works, of course not. This is YOU applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you ST...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh dear. My brother (the oldest) went interstate for a few months recently for work. He seemed to enjoy it and I was excited for him as he suffers from pretty severe OCD and anxiety and doesn't leave my mother's house other than to work, usually. (He's 30). He works all day and then drinks in front of his co...

Debb · Debb

I work with a woman who has very serious confidence issues, and who considers me her only friend, in an otherwise hostile work environment (in her mind of course). I try very hard to remain neutral and supportive, but there are times, like today where my good nature is tested to the max! I do try to im...

crystal3030 · crystal3030

So i don't really know where to start, but here i go. I meet my fiance 7 years ago and i fell madly in love with him, not knowing what an alcoholic was. We have been together 7 years now and i have two kids from a previous marriage. There was always sneaking around for him and trying to lie about drinking, bu...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi Everyone I am back for my cruise. Weather was a bit of a challenge with high waves and winds but by the 3rd day out we were fine. Made sure I visited the exercise room each day so I could eat up a storm. Gained 5 pounds but it was worth it. Missed everyone

Debb · Debb

My 37 year old daughter, who is bi-polar, is moving out of our home today and the movers are finishing up tomorrow morning with her heavier pieces of furniture. She got a very nice, one bedroom, just five minutes down the road and she can actually have a cat there as well. Been a long road with her and my A...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Everything has gone wrong today. I'm grumpy, I'm agitated, I keep dropping things, breaking things, burning things, swearing at things...ugh! Anyway I sat down on the couch before and said to my child 'That's it, I'm done with today, it's just hopeless!" and suddenly out of nowhere a big pile o...

hotrod · hotrod

IThe ODAT reading for today, Columbus Day speaks about being controlling. It compares being controlling to a person with a enormous thumb , pressed down upon all the people that she interacted with. This person thought that she was a loving , generous person who was just doing her job and everyo...

jpebbles · jpebbles

Today, I am going crazy. It seems the only way to not be crazy is to leave the Alcoholic, but I am not able to have this wonderful dream so I must deal with being crazy. I pretend that I have a wonderful marriage and three well-behaved kids but this is only a dream. I find myself yelling at the kids because I...

Confused2379 · Confused2379

I confronted my AH yesterday and was very angry. He moved back in with me 3 weeks ago. Since then I have been walking on egg shells. I have been trying so hard to stay out of his business. But he is drinking so much more and staying out all night Again. I told him if he came back there would be boundaries. ...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I am so grateful for this program because without it, the events over the past year would have destroyed me. Instead I am able to keep things in perspective and keep my focus where it needs to be. I am often amazed at how my higher power works and how things are revealed to me. However, the facts about my...

Debb · Debb

The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness ~ Al-anon. Pity, is a feeling of sorrow for the misfortune of others. For example I felt great pity for those affected by the Ebola virus. Pity, can sometimes be confused with love, incases o...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Ah just lies in his bed,not eatting unless I give him something. He doesnt shower,lies in his own messy bed,half un communicative. he doesnt feed or water the cats. He barely knows what is around him. Meanwhile the blessing of my bro in law today. I will be able to get cat litter,food,mail things and sea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The newest member of my family finally arrived this afternoon @ 3:45pm CST. The kids wanted to be alone with the babe so I didn't get all the stats but great APGAR scores! I watched him arrive into this world - if you've never gotten to do this, I recommend. I am not a super emotional person but this got me...

daisy31 · daisy31

I have been in the program for 3 years and have basically stayed half in and half out of alanon. I have a hard time being really open and trusting of others. I have worked the steps a year ago but it was much too fast for me and I did not feel comfortable with my sponsor. I also look for things to find fault with...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi - I've been trying to forgive my A spouse for about a year. I've re-done steps, worked with my sponsor, tried to be "entirely ready," and got help from my sponsor. Two weeks ago we had the 12th anniv. of the meeting I attend. We had two amazing speakers, both alcoholic, drug addicted, an...

Debb · Debb

I will refuse to be troubled by an uneasy sense of guilt. I will track it to its source and make good for any harm I have done. I will be most careful not to whitewash it with self-justification and self-righteousness. That would hamper everything I am trying to accomplish. "A man is relieved and g...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So, this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for a multitude of reasons. My gratitude for this job I just beyond my personal ability to express. Plus I'm hormonal so I have managed to burst into tears from time to time .. lol ... so not me however it's ok. Thankfully for the most part I have be...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading takes us back to the beginning of our Al-Anon journey. We are asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism so many of us began to read all that we could find about the disease. We began to analyze everything and wonder if Al-Anon was a philosophy or a philosophical system? What woul...

Debb · Debb

People can affect me only as I allow them to. I need not be influenced by others, for I am free to consult my own wishes and standards, and decide what is best for me. I find I can realize my own strength and confidence by working faithfully with the Al-Anon program, and using it in my daily life. "......

LADYOFFTHESEA · LADYOFFTHESEA

I been away from my family for about 20 yrs I moved south I was married to and alcoholic at a young age divorced him after 15 yrs stayed single worked on self got married again 25 wonderful yrs happy healthy relationship lots of therapy and worked on passed issues loss dh . I am now in another healthy re...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about accepting that which I cannot change and changing that which we can, through the Al-Anon program. We learn that we can not control the way alcoholism has affected our life in the past, we can not control another person, we can not make life unfold according to our own plans, we...

StarrCelena · StarrCelena

Hello! I just wanted to talk about my situation right now. This is going to be long, sorry:P I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now. When we first met I didn't really notice any huge problems with his drinking, I never met an alcoholic before. I want to start by saying I love him very much. I did star...

ameyer · ameyer

I am new to this chat room but have been attending Alanon for about 5 years. My husband's drinking was out of control and last Oct his family and I did an intervention. He did go to treatment and was out of state for 6 weeks while I kept things going at home with our three small children, work etc. The first t...

a4l · a4l

I had a counselling session today and it was very much like taking an emotional bath, with years of dirt to scrub off. While neccesary and good, it does feel a little raw. I guess I want to share a bit of my letting go process. What I've come to realise is, I didn't even know what I was carrying. And I think its...

Debb · Debb

Just for today: I will remember that what hurts today will pass in time. I can speed its departure by refusing to indulge in self-pity. Gratitude for all the good fortune that comes our way keeps us healthy.Wishing {{everyone}} a day filled with gratitude.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading makes a distinction between two miracles of recovery: our own, as one close to someone with the disease, and the alcoholic's. Recognizing the difference calls for us to truly accept steps 1 and 2 and recognize our own limits and responsibilities while respecting others', includin...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well many know my story. Married to AH, one child, been together 15+ years. Thing is . .Im freakin EXHAUSTED. ?nothings really different. .He still is out about 3times a week. Im basically a married single mom. .and well its gotten unmanageable as they say. I left a career of 15 yrs, started a new job in M...

Kasia · Kasia

My daughter, 23, has been struggling for about 6 years - I thought it was just adhd, then borderline bipolar, then a 5150, then etc. Most recently, she came home in November, and I thought we were on a good track. Then she started losing weight and met p with a former fling - a released convict with a meth ha...

mjferg · mjferg

We are getting ready to have a debate in one of our classes,I won't go into the topic,but I feel very strongly about my position.It is something that does relate to the recent passing of my ex.It is a controversial subject and I don't know if I am even ready to talk about it,it has something to do with drugs...

Debb · Debb

PRAYER FOR TODAY Lord make me an instrument of Thy Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be co...

Weeks7304 · Weeks7304

Really struggling with accepting that I am not a priority right now. New to alanon. My Wife is less than a week out of inpatient treatment. I was as supportive as humanly possible through that and continue to be. I took time off from work to reconnect but that has proven to not be the case. I feel very left o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm grateful at the moment for some of the harder lessons I've learned so far in al-anon. Primarily, I'm thinking of some of that really confronting step 4 work and taking ownership of my own "stuff". Not that I'm a master at it or anything, I have a long way to go but I am looking at the differe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change Reading starts out with, "My Life is a miracle!" This so applies to me today more than most days as 28 years ago today, I had my first sober day! This is my AA birthday (if I confused you) - I went to a long term treatment center on 10/7 (didn't go in sober). What is most ama...

Em280672 · Em280672

I am new to this site! i have recently left the family home 3 weeks ago to stop enabling my partner. It's a journey now to see how far he has to go to hit rock bottom. It's been a very tough ride for the past year !

LH · LH

In my immediate family I'm the only one who isn't an alcoholic. I noticed my mom's drinking habits becoming serious after many people in our family had passed away, especially my grandmother. Her drink of choice is rum and coke. My mom and I used to do everything together and go out all the time. Now all m...

Miller · Miller

new here, have an AH husband with 3 kids - all still live at home. We are struggling as a family. Middle child is starting to show outburst like throwing dad's beers away etc. His attempts to get sober haven't been successful yet. He says we are over exaggerating the situation and blaming it all on him. He...

Optimist · Optimist

I'm new to this site. I have found so many helpful posts already! Is there a way for me to know when new comments are made on those posts? I'd like to follow the conversations. (Hope this is the right place to write this question)

catlover26 · catlover26

We have a small group and tonight there were only two other people at the meeting. One lady I know has been in the Al-Anon program for several years and is a sponsor to several people I am sure. I just get the feeling sometimes that they are are sort of 'clicky' with each other. There is one guy that also 'hea...

carolm · carolm

Do interventions ever work? My son has been to a 30-day rehab (a year and a half ago) and his life is still out of control. He suffers from severe ADD, anxiety and depression. he's been on pills, alcohol and heroin intermittently for years. He has had a few "moments of clarity" but right now ju...

OpenToAdvice · OpenToAdvice

My boyfriend is new to AA, though he's been struggling with alcoholism for years. We've been together for 3 years and after numerous conflicts over his drinking, I'm happy that he's found a good sponsor and a group of people he can relate to. A few friends who have had siblings or spouses in AA have told...

Debb · Debb

JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.{{Have an unafraid and grateful day}}

Skye · Skye

This is my first time checking out Al-Anon or posting on a forum. I've been dating a guy for the last 10 months. We are middle aged and I have not drank in more than 15 years. I'm beginning to think he is a full blown alcoholic, but he's not being honest with me about the extent of his drinking. Lately, he's be...

Broken513 · Broken513

It is so nice to be with my son and wife. My daughter in law is very special to me, and very understanding to my situation. she too suffer with anxiety/panic disorder so she really understands, she also grew up with and AF. I have explained the disease and the 3 C's to her, and she is starting to have a little...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I hate this disease. I work as a manager of a small group of programmers. One of my best ones left, so I have hired a new one on contract to see how he works out. Smart guy, pretty productive, great attitude, fun to work with, everything. So far he has had two bouts of illness, from 2-3 days to a week. Aft...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

Hello all, I have not been on the boards in awhile. I was on here sharing for awhile, and sort of stopped because I was confused about my feelings about wanting to leave my alcholic spouse. I found out things like he had been almost messing around with (at least, maybe completely messing around with) a...

carolm · carolm

Strangely, I'm relieved that my son was arrested yesterday! He was released almost one month ago and lacked the motivation to get into a program on his own so predictably was arrested again for possession. The first thing he said when he called from jail was "at least now you know that I'm safe&q...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I haven't seen my adult son (30) for about two years - he lives several states away where he moved, originally, to live in a halfway house after rehab. It's been about 12 years since he got out of rehab - the halfway house lasted about two weeks - he's never worked a program and while (to my knowledge) he ha...

confused2015 · confused2015

Last night my AH came up to me and asked, what's going on with us, I feel awkward around you and not sure what to do? In a calm and sincere voice I said, really, that's funny cause in the last week you've gone from telling me to stay away from you and don't ever touch you and that you will never touch me to act...

beacheemom · beacheemom

And what is it with all the little white lies A's tell??? Silly everyday things he lies about...stuff that wouldn't even require lying!!!! When he knows I caught him in one he'll just say he was kidding.....

beacheemom · beacheemom

Sick and tired of functioning AH'S problem consuming me. I'm so tired of it that I'm angry for being on this message board venting right now because -once again- it's consuming me. I don't even want to work the steps or go to an online meeting BECAUSE I AM DONE. I just want to be done. I didn't choose this. I...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Wanted to thank all who responded to my post yesterday, went to a long meeting last night and it did me the world of good. I had a hard time sleeping, I prayed a lot. I woke up feeling detached from my step son situation. I am making fun plans for this weekend to go to a new Texas History Museum in Galveston, Te...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have a challenge for all of you. I am going to try not to complain this coming week. One day at a time will you join me on this quest? I really need support in this area. It is not easy to do because we all find things to complain about: the weather, the traffic, whatever. I could think of so many things but the...

Debb · Debb

JUST FOR TODAY I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.{{Wishing you a peaceful and quiet day}} ...

Gaby · Gaby

Hello every one .. It's been a long time and so glad to see some familiar names. Since the last time I was on here my son was doing great in his recovery and after so many months clean he relapsed for a month and I had about enough. I needed peace. God calmed my storm. The less I paid attention to the situation a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I learn a lot in the rooms from the fellowship and am beyond grateful for the program AND sticking around after the meeting and getting into another meeting with individual members one or one or in small groups just shines my chrome. Got into one after my morning group with an inquisitive new comer...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Out of no where (Preview) So yesterday my AH sat down next to me and asked, Do you want to go to therapy with me or am I going on my own? Not sure what brought this on but ok, I'll go with it. I said, I think you need to go by yourself and then later maybe I will go with you. But you need to make sure whoever you see specializes in alcoho...	confused2015	5	679	Oct 13, 2015 by Debb
	Perplexed about anonymity (Preview) Hi all, I'm new and I have a question about protecting the Anonymity of the Alcoholic. I have recently joined Al-Anon, and feel that I have arrived at a place where I feel it is helpful to share my personal journey with a few close friends, to allow them to support me and to break out of my own cycle of de...	yesor	6	647	Oct 13, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Hope for today October 13 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about keeping the focus on 'one day at a time' and remembering step 11 and the faith we have in our HPs will for us. When I think about living one day at a time I think about living in the present, and frankly- how difficult that can be at times. For me I don't get s...	yanksfan51	4	671	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ LIVING IT ~ 10/13/15 (Preview) The way I speak often reveals more than what I say. To make the program work for me, it is important to be LIVING IT. This will reveal itself in everything I do and say."By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach."We can talk as much as we need to but soon...	Debb	3	425	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Inaction ~ 10/12/15 (Preview) "The alcoholic cannot be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried everything. He won't listen to reason. I've yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave--nothing works, of course not. This is YOU applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you ST...	Debb	5	667	Oct 13, 2015 by youfoundme
	Drunk people everywhere! (Preview) Oh dear. My brother (the oldest) went interstate for a few months recently for work. He seemed to enjoy it and I was excited for him as he suffers from pretty severe OCD and anxiety and doesn't leave my mother's house other than to work, usually. (He's 30). He works all day and then drinks in front of his co...	missmeliss	3	667	Oct 12, 2015 by Debb
	QTIP!! (Preview) I work with a woman who has very serious confidence issues, and who considers me her only friend, in an otherwise hostile work environment (in her mind of course). I try very hard to remain neutral and supportive, but there are times, like today where my good nature is tested to the max! I do try to im...	Debb	9	716	Oct 12, 2015 by Mirandac
	7 long years (Preview) So i don't really know where to start, but here i go. I meet my fiance 7 years ago and i fell madly in love with him, not knowing what an alcoholic was. We have been together 7 years now and i have two kids from a previous marriage. There was always sneaking around for him and trying to lie about drinking, bu...	crystal3030	5	648	Oct 12, 2015 by crystal3030
	I am back (Preview) Hi Everyone I am back for my cruise. Weather was a bit of a challenge with high waves and winds but by the 3rd day out we were fine. Made sure I visited the exercise room each day so I could eat up a storm. Gained 5 pounds but it was worth it. Missed everyone	hotrod	12	623	Oct 12, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Daughter is Moving Out Today (Preview) My 37 year old daughter, who is bi-polar, is moving out of our home today and the movers are finishing up tomorrow morning with her heavier pieces of furniture. She got a very nice, one bedroom, just five minutes down the road and she can actually have a cat there as well. Been a long road with her and my A...	Debb	11	705	Oct 12, 2015 by confused2015
	Lol. (Preview) Everything has gone wrong today. I'm grumpy, I'm agitated, I keep dropping things, breaking things, burning things, swearing at things...ugh! Anyway I sat down on the couch before and said to my child 'That's it, I'm done with today, it's just hopeless!" and suddenly out of nowhere a big pile o...	missmeliss	5	449	Oct 12, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	ODAT 10-12 (Preview) IThe ODAT reading for today, Columbus Day speaks about being controlling. It compares being controlling to a person with a enormous thumb , pressed down upon all the people that she interacted with. This person thought that she was a loving , generous person who was just doing her job and everyo...	hotrod	11	596	Oct 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Living with an Alcoholic (Preview) Today, I am going crazy. It seems the only way to not be crazy is to leave the Alcoholic, but I am not able to have this wonderful dream so I must deal with being crazy. I pretend that I have a wonderful marriage and three well-behaved kids but this is only a dream. I find myself yelling at the kids because I...	jpebbles	5	628	Oct 12, 2015 by milkwood
	Feel like I'm done too!! (Preview) I confronted my AH yesterday and was very angry. He moved back in with me 3 weeks ago. Since then I have been walking on egg shells. I have been trying so hard to stay out of his business. But he is drinking so much more and staying out all night Again. I told him if he came back there would be boundaries. ...	Confused2379	8	854	Oct 12, 2015 by Confused2379
	Medical Issues (Preview) I am so grateful for this program because without it, the events over the past year would have destroyed me. Instead I am able to keep things in perspective and keep my focus where it needs to be. I am often amazed at how my higher power works and how things are revealed to me. However, the facts about my...	Tossed Salad	10	486	Oct 11, 2015 by Freetime
	Definitions for 9/3/15 – Pity * Self-Pity * Compassion * Empathy (Preview) The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness ~ Al-anon. Pity, is a feeling of sorrow for the misfortune of others. For example I felt great pity for those affected by the Ebola virus. Pity, can sometimes be confused with love, incases o...	Debb	11	3250	Oct 11, 2015 by Ifnotforgrace
	Ah going down fast (Preview) Ah just lies in his bed,not eatting unless I give him something. He doesnt shower,lies in his own messy bed,half un communicative. he doesnt feed or water the cats. He barely knows what is around him. Meanwhile the blessing of my bro in law today. I will be able to get cat litter,food,mail things and sea...	YARNCRAZY	6	464	Oct 11, 2015 by Tossed Salad
	We have a BABY!!! (Preview) The newest member of my family finally arrived this afternoon @ 3:45pm CST. The kids wanted to be alone with the babe so I didn't get all the stats but great APGAR scores! I watched him arrive into this world - if you've never gotten to do this, I recommend. I am not a super emotional person but this got me...	Iamhere	16	758	Oct 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Codependency (Preview) I have been in the program for 3 years and have basically stayed half in and half out of alanon. I have a hard time being really open and trusting of others. I have worked the steps a year ago but it was much too fast for me and I did not feel comfortable with my sponsor. I also look for things to find fault with...	daisy31	6	1218	Oct 11, 2015 by Weeks7304
	forgiveness (Preview) Hi - I've been trying to forgive my A spouse for about a year. I've re-done steps, worked with my sponsor, tried to be "entirely ready," and got help from my sponsor. Two weeks ago we had the 12th anniv. of the meeting I attend. We had two amazing speakers, both alcoholic, drug addicted, an...	Lyne	6	2454	Oct 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Guilt ~ 10/11/15 (Preview) I will refuse to be troubled by an uneasy sense of guilt. I will track it to its source and make good for any harm I have done. I will be most careful not to whitewash it with self-justification and self-righteousness. That would hamper everything I am trying to accomplish. "A man is relieved and g...	Debb	3	511	Oct 11, 2015 by Debb
	Bigger than me .. (Preview) So, this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for a multitude of reasons. My gratitude for this job I just beyond my personal ability to express. Plus I'm hormonal so I have managed to burst into tears from time to time .. lol ... so not me however it's ok. Thankfully for the most part I have be...	SerenityRUS	6	525	Oct 11, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C for 10/11/15 (Preview) Today's reading takes us back to the beginning of our Al-Anon journey. We are asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism so many of us began to read all that we could find about the disease. We began to analyze everything and wonder if Al-Anon was a philosophy or a philosophical system? What woul...	Iamhere	1	449	Oct 11, 2015 by Debb
	Thought for Today ~ Freedom ~ 10/10/15 (Preview) People can affect me only as I allow them to. I need not be influenced by others, for I am free to consult my own wishes and standards, and decide what is best for me. I find I can realize my own strength and confidence by working faithfully with the Al-Anon program, and using it in my daily life. "......	Debb	9	725	Oct 11, 2015 by Debb
	sad real sad (Preview) I been away from my family for about 20 yrs I moved south I was married to and alcoholic at a young age divorced him after 15 yrs stayed single worked on self got married again 25 wonderful yrs happy healthy relationship lots of therapy and worked on passed issues loss dh . I am now in another healthy re...	LADYOFFTHESEA	2	692	Oct 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C for 10/10/15 (Preview) Today's reading is about accepting that which I cannot change and changing that which we can, through the Al-Anon program. We learn that we can not control the way alcoholism has affected our life in the past, we can not control another person, we can not make life unfold according to our own plans, we...	Iamhere	3	436	Oct 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	My alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) Hello! I just wanted to talk about my situation right now. This is going to be long, sorry:P I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now. When we first met I didn't really notice any huge problems with his drinking, I never met an alcoholic before. I want to start by saying I love him very much. I did star...	StarrCelena	5	665	Oct 10, 2015 by Lee8375
	Should I go along with the As "social drinking" ?? (Preview) I am new to this chat room but have been attending Alanon for about 5 years. My husband's drinking was out of control and last Oct his family and I did an intervention. He did go to treatment and was out of state for 6 weeks while I kept things going at home with our three small children, work etc. The first t...	ameyer	12	966	Oct 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	taking an emotional bath/letting go. (Preview) I had a counselling session today and it was very much like taking an emotional bath, with years of dirt to scrub off. While neccesary and good, it does feel a little raw. I guess I want to share a bit of my letting go process. What I've come to realise is, I didn't even know what I was carrying. And I think its...	a4l	7	3606	Oct 9, 2015 by missmeliss
	Just for Today ~ Gratitude ~ 10/8/15 (Preview) Just for today: I will remember that what hurts today will pass in time. I can speed its departure by refusing to indulge in self-pity. Gratitude for all the good fortune that comes our way keeps us healthy.Wishing {{everyone}} a day filled with gratitude.	Debb	3	667	Oct 9, 2015 by Debb
	ODAT 10/9 The Alcoholic's Recovery - Is it Our Business? (Preview) Today's reading makes a distinction between two miracles of recovery: our own, as one close to someone with the disease, and the alcoholic's. Recognizing the difference calls for us to truly accept steps 1 and 2 and recognize our own limits and responsibilities while respecting others', includin...	Enigmatic	6	537	Oct 9, 2015 by Enigmatic
	they did say thered be days. .weeks like this. right? (Preview) Well many know my story. Married to AH, one child, been together 15+ years. Thing is . .Im freakin EXHAUSTED. ?nothings really different. .He still is out about 3times a week. Im basically a married single mom. .and well its gotten unmanageable as they say. I left a career of 15 yrs, started a new job in M...	Theoceancalls	5	753	Oct 9, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	How do I respond to my daughter's request? (Preview) My daughter, 23, has been struggling for about 6 years - I thought it was just adhd, then borderline bipolar, then a 5150, then etc. Most recently, she came home in November, and I thought we were on a good track. Then she started losing weight and met p with a former fling - a released convict with a meth ha...	Kasia	4	806	Oct 9, 2015 by Debb
	a debate (Preview) We are getting ready to have a debate in one of our classes,I won't go into the topic,but I feel very strongly about my position.It is something that does relate to the recent passing of my ex.It is a controversial subject and I don't know if I am even ready to talk about it,it has something to do with drugs...	mjferg	5	853	Oct 9, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Just for Today ~ Prayer ~ 10/9/15 (Preview) PRAYER FOR TODAY Lord make me an instrument of Thy Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be co...	Debb	2	2205	Oct 9, 2015 by andromeda
	Remaining a Priority (Preview) Really struggling with accepting that I am not a priority right now. New to alanon. My Wife is less than a week out of inpatient treatment. I was as supportive as humanly possible through that and continue to be. I took time off from work to reconnect but that has proven to not be the case. I feel very left o...	Weeks7304	18	952	Oct 9, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Grateful tonight. (Preview) I'm grateful at the moment for some of the harder lessons I've learned so far in al-anon. Primarily, I'm thinking of some of that really confronting step 4 work and taking ownership of my own "stuff". Not that I'm a master at it or anything, I have a long way to go but I am looking at the differe...	missmeliss	7	747	Oct 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	10/8/15 - C2C (and 10/7) (Preview) The Courage to Change Reading starts out with, "My Life is a miracle!" This so applies to me today more than most days as 28 years ago today, I had my first sober day! This is my AA birthday (if I confused you) - I went to a long term treatment center on 10/7 (didn't go in sober). What is most ama...	Iamhere	1	449	Oct 8, 2015 by Debb
	I have stopped enabling (Preview) I am new to this site! i have recently left the family home 3 weeks ago to stop enabling my partner. It's a journey now to see how far he has to go to hit rock bottom. It's been a very tough ride for the past year !	Em280672	16	1024	Oct 8, 2015 by Em280672
	I'm the only one in my family who isn't an alcoholic (Preview) In my immediate family I'm the only one who isn't an alcoholic. I noticed my mom's drinking habits becoming serious after many people in our family had passed away, especially my grandmother. Her drink of choice is rum and coke. My mom and I used to do everything together and go out all the time. Now all m...	LH	2	783	Oct 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to understand AH when he says no support at Home (Preview) new here, have an AH husband with 3 kids - all still live at home. We are struggling as a family. Middle child is starting to show outburst like throwing dad's beers away etc. His attempts to get sober haven't been successful yet. He says we are over exaggerating the situation and blaming it all on him. He...	Miller	6	447	Oct 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	newbie question (Preview) I'm new to this site. I have found so many helpful posts already! Is there a way for me to know when new comments are made on those posts? I'd like to follow the conversations. (Hope this is the right place to write this question)	Optimist	2	335	Oct 8, 2015 by Optimist
	Felt awkward at my F2f meeting (Preview) We have a small group and tonight there were only two other people at the meeting. One lady I know has been in the Al-Anon program for several years and is a sponsor to several people I am sure. I just get the feeling sometimes that they are are sort of 'clicky' with each other. There is one guy that also 'hea...	catlover26	15	1751	Oct 7, 2015 by Optimist
	Interventions (Preview) Do interventions ever work? My son has been to a 30-day rehab (a year and a half ago) and his life is still out of control. He suffers from severe ADD, anxiety and depression. he's been on pills, alcohol and heroin intermittently for years. He has had a few "moments of clarity" but right now ju...	carolm	7	685	Oct 7, 2015 by Optimist
	Should I Meet My Boyfriend's Sponsor? (Preview) My boyfriend is new to AA, though he's been struggling with alcoholism for years. We've been together for 3 years and after numerous conflicts over his drinking, I'm happy that he's found a good sponsor and a group of people he can relate to. A few friends who have had siblings or spouses in AA have told...	OpenToAdvice	31	3921	Oct 7, 2015 by Debb
	Just For Today ~ Unafraid ~ 10/07/15 (Preview) JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.{{Have an unafraid and grateful day}}	Debb	4	382	Oct 7, 2015 by Debb
	Alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) This is my first time checking out Al-Anon or posting on a forum. I've been dating a guy for the last 10 months. We are middle aged and I have not drank in more than 15 years. I'm beginning to think he is a full blown alcoholic, but he's not being honest with me about the extent of his drinking. Lately, he's be...	Skye	8	630	Oct 7, 2015 by Iamhere
	My sweet family (Preview) It is so nice to be with my son and wife. My daughter in law is very special to me, and very understanding to my situation. she too suffer with anxiety/panic disorder so she really understands, she also grew up with and AF. I have explained the disease and the 3 C's to her, and she is starting to have a little...	Broken513	9	633	Oct 7, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	it strikes again! (Preview) I hate this disease. I work as a manager of a small group of programmers. One of my best ones left, so I have hired a new one on contract to see how he works out. Smart guy, pretty productive, great attitude, fun to work with, everything. So far he has had two bouts of illness, from 2-3 days to a week. Aft...	KennyFenderjazz	5	663	Oct 7, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	How did you ask for a divorce from a scary AH? (Preview) Hello all, I have not been on the boards in awhile. I was on here sharing for awhile, and sort of stopped because I was confused about my feelings about wanting to leave my alcholic spouse. I found out things like he had been almost messing around with (at least, maybe completely messing around with) a...	PennyJenny010115	9	633	Oct 7, 2015 by missmeliss
	He's back in jail! (Preview) Strangely, I'm relieved that my son was arrested yesterday! He was released almost one month ago and lacked the motivation to get into a program on his own so predictably was arrested again for possession. The first thing he said when he called from jail was "at least now you know that I'm safe&q...	carolm	15	698	Oct 7, 2015 by laurab
	What to talk about ? (Preview) I haven't seen my adult son (30) for about two years - he lives several states away where he moved, originally, to live in a halfway house after rehab. It's been about 12 years since he got out of rehab - the halfway house lasted about two weeks - he's never worked a program and while (to my knowledge) he ha...	texas yankee	15	781	Oct 7, 2015 by texas yankee
	sober talk (Preview) Last night my AH came up to me and asked, what's going on with us, I feel awkward around you and not sure what to do? In a calm and sincere voice I said, really, that's funny cause in the last week you've gone from telling me to stay away from you and don't ever touch you and that you will never touch me to act...	confused2015	6	699	Oct 7, 2015 by confused2015
	lies!!! (Preview) And what is it with all the little white lies A's tell??? Silly everyday things he lies about...stuff that wouldn't even require lying!!!! When he knows I caught him in one he'll just say he was kidding.....	beacheemom	7	754	Oct 7, 2015 by Em280672
	ready to walk away... I think. (Preview) Sick and tired of functioning AH'S problem consuming me. I'm so tired of it that I'm angry for being on this message board venting right now because -once again- it's consuming me. I don't even want to work the steps or go to an online meeting BECAUSE I AM DONE. I just want to be done. I didn't choose this. I...	beacheemom	8	779	Oct 7, 2015 by Em280672
	Just checking in (Preview) Wanted to thank all who responded to my post yesterday, went to a long meeting last night and it did me the world of good. I had a hard time sleeping, I prayed a lot. I woke up feeling detached from my step son situation. I am making fun plans for this weekend to go to a new Texas History Museum in Galveston, Te...	mercedes1959	3	410	Oct 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	I have a challenge... (Preview) I have a challenge for all of you. I am going to try not to complain this coming week. One day at a time will you join me on this quest? I really need support in this area. It is not easy to do because we all find things to complain about: the weather, the traffic, whatever. I could think of so many things but the...	Hoot Nanny	16	683	Oct 6, 2015 by missmeliss
	Just For Today ~ Quiet ~ 10/06/15 (Preview) JUST FOR TODAY I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.{{Wishing you a peaceful and quiet day}} ...	Debb	2	296	Oct 6, 2015 by Debb
	It's been a while... (Preview) Hello every one .. It's been a long time and so glad to see some familiar names. Since the last time I was on here my son was doing great in his recovery and after so many months clean he relapsed for a month and I had about enough. I needed peace. God calmed my storm. The less I paid attention to the situation a...	Gaby	2	490	Oct 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	The meeting after the meeting (Preview) I learn a lot in the rooms from the fellowship and am beyond grateful for the program AND sticking around after the meeting and getting into another meeting with individual members one or one or in small groups just shines my chrome. Got into one after my morning group with an inquisitive new comer...	Jerry F	8	700	Oct 6, 2015 by Iamhere
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