Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

Good morning all,The ODA T reading for today, October 15 speaks about the importance of not giving advice a to each other or to newcomers. It offers examples of the new person entering the rooms, needing to share their confusion, anger and resentment about living with the disease of alcoholism....

LostInThought · LostInThought

October is the anniversary of a lot of things in my alcoholic life. It marks the worst my abuse ever was with my father, as well as when it all ended. It marks the start of the relationship that finally took me away from it all. This year I began speaking to my father again. I don't allow alcohol as a part of th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really get why we call ourselves miracles in progress. We all have ways to go & will never arrive. It takes a miracle that we find this & F2F meetings. I never knew so much support from "strangers". We are NOT strangers but all apart of a family. No matter how long or how much I pray I wi...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and started having panic attacks,again.It has been a while since I have had them.I started thinking about loss and grief and it does make sense that anxiety would be one of the stages.Although it isn't listed on the stages of grief,I did some research and most p...

Debb · Debb

Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of r...

jodiee34 · jodiee34

I really hate this disease. I had become comfortable in the sober world. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years.... I thought she had this thing under control. But no. Yesterday I got the call that she was at the bar. Had been drinking for 3 days. Now today. Sober again. And all she can do is cry. What a waste she says. What...

a4l · a4l

More counselling. Grief is a strange thing. Buried grief resurfacing. It sounds as if you have accepted your loss. I just dont know if acceptance is the right word. It seems to me that when we cant physically hold the ones we love, letting go of all the pain and hurt is really difficult because somehow th...

Optimist · Optimist

Every night is the same. I sleep only a couple of hours and then my mind starts racing. What am I missing? What could I say? Do? What would turn my son's situation around? How much worse is it going to get? Do I kick him out? Would that help him hit his bottom or would I lose him? I've been sitting here rea...

serenity47 · serenity47

My AD is in a down ward spiral again. Another job loss which came as no surprise. I am trying to reframe it in my mind as one step closer to her bottom. I don't know. I do know I am struggling a lot today. Her solution is to relocate again with a "fresh" start. I believe where ever you go there...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I don't debate about how the disease that brought us together is classified and am posting this for informational purposes only. I am one who wants to keep understanding all I can about the disease so I can 'battle it accordingly'.... (((Hugs))) to the MIP Family!! http://www.nbcnews.com/id/441...

BuccaneerGirl · BuccaneerGirl

Hi there, I have been dealing with a situation and would like some input, if you're up for it! AH and I went to a sporting event out of town. AH got hammered and he is a very angry, obnoxious drunk but his behavior is mainly directed at me. Short story without going into too much detail was later in the evenin...

mericose · mericose

In an effort to save our marriage, I've arranged an appointment with a marriage therapist. My wife is completely against therapy (she had a bad experience with her ex) but she reluctantly agreed to go. The appointment is this Friday. Over the past few days, my wife has been what I can only call, &quo...

hotrod · hotrod

I really loved today's reading in the ODAT. It speaks about how much recovery , growth and satisfaction can be gained by sharing in an Al-Anon group (or on the MIP Message Board). ,The sharing can be by giving of our time by serving as chairperson, treasurer, literature person, and by giving of ourse...

Debb · Debb

Regrets for hurtful things I have done to others may be healed by making amends as well as I can. Regrets for missed opportunities will vanish as I try to make wise choices today. Let me fill this day with thoughts and actions I will have no need to regret. Let me undertake only as much as I can accomplish we...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The quote is: "You don't help anyone by trying to impress them; you impress someone when you try to help them." I got this from The Program.

oceanpine · oceanpine

Wondering if anyone has experience to share about breathalyzers installed in cars, especially in a preventative way (not ordered by the court)? Trying to figure out if it is realistic to insist my AH have one installed in his car. He has driven with the kids, and I don't want to play policeman. Right n...

Optimist · Optimist

My son drinks every day. He can never stop at one. He kicked a fentanyl addiction last December with the help of intensive (and very expensive) rehab and sees the alcohol as nothing compared to that. He isn't financially able to be on his own. He's 23. He works full-time. I'm struggling to figure...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

As I sit here typing this I realize just how much of a mess my life has become. I am writing to a message board of people I don't know because at this point in my life I am running on empty....my friends are few, my confidants fewer and my family - well to bring them into this would only cause me anguish.If you...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I thought that I have been doing all the 'right' things,I do my daily readings,I come here and read on a regular basis,I attend f2f meetings,attend some of the ones here,reach out to others in my group,let go and let God,mind my own business,work the steps,do everything in my power to work my program to...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

Is there a post or somewhere in the bios where members here have indicated if they are open to being a sponsor? I still haven't found someone to ask at face to face meetings and feel like I'm spinning in circles with the literature and meetings, but not putting anything into action. Thank you all for be...

sookie · sookie

Looking for anyone's experiences with having to deal with problems with visitation. My daughter doesn't feel comfortable with her father (she is 11 and has a younger sister, 7) Today she called me and asked me to come get her because her father was drinking so I did. She is often upset after coming home...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Having had alot of my own experience with anxiety/depression, I can see that the behavior my AH is symptoms of depression as well as alcoholism. Staying in bed 24/7,not wanting to eat,just wanting to sleep etc. I want to know if I should suggest and/or insist he get some help. Like go to the psych er or ??...

confused2015 · confused2015

So yesterday my AH sat down next to me and asked, Do you want to go to therapy with me or am I going on my own? Not sure what brought this on but ok, I'll go with it. I said, I think you need to go by yourself and then later maybe I will go with you. But you need to make sure whoever you see specializes in alcoho...

yesor · yesor

Hi all, I'm new and I have a question about protecting the Anonymity of the Alcoholic. I have recently joined Al-Anon, and feel that I have arrived at a place where I feel it is helpful to share my personal journey with a few close friends, to allow them to support me and to break out of my own cycle of de...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about keeping the focus on 'one day at a time' and remembering step 11 and the faith we have in our HPs will for us. When I think about living one day at a time I think about living in the present, and frankly- how difficult that can be at times. For me I don't get s...

Debb · Debb

The way I speak often reveals more than what I say. To make the program work for me, it is important to be LIVING IT. This will reveal itself in everything I do and say."By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach."We can talk as much as we need to but soon...

Debb · Debb

"The alcoholic cannot be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried everything. He won't listen to reason. I've yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave--nothing works, of course not. This is YOU applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you ST...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh dear. My brother (the oldest) went interstate for a few months recently for work. He seemed to enjoy it and I was excited for him as he suffers from pretty severe OCD and anxiety and doesn't leave my mother's house other than to work, usually. (He's 30). He works all day and then drinks in front of his co...

Debb · Debb

I work with a woman who has very serious confidence issues, and who considers me her only friend, in an otherwise hostile work environment (in her mind of course). I try very hard to remain neutral and supportive, but there are times, like today where my good nature is tested to the max! I do try to im...

crystal3030 · crystal3030

So i don't really know where to start, but here i go. I meet my fiance 7 years ago and i fell madly in love with him, not knowing what an alcoholic was. We have been together 7 years now and i have two kids from a previous marriage. There was always sneaking around for him and trying to lie about drinking, bu...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi Everyone I am back for my cruise. Weather was a bit of a challenge with high waves and winds but by the 3rd day out we were fine. Made sure I visited the exercise room each day so I could eat up a storm. Gained 5 pounds but it was worth it. Missed everyone

Debb · Debb

My 37 year old daughter, who is bi-polar, is moving out of our home today and the movers are finishing up tomorrow morning with her heavier pieces of furniture. She got a very nice, one bedroom, just five minutes down the road and she can actually have a cat there as well. Been a long road with her and my A...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Everything has gone wrong today. I'm grumpy, I'm agitated, I keep dropping things, breaking things, burning things, swearing at things...ugh! Anyway I sat down on the couch before and said to my child 'That's it, I'm done with today, it's just hopeless!" and suddenly out of nowhere a big pile o...

hotrod · hotrod

IThe ODAT reading for today, Columbus Day speaks about being controlling. It compares being controlling to a person with a enormous thumb , pressed down upon all the people that she interacted with. This person thought that she was a loving , generous person who was just doing her job and everyo...

jpebbles · jpebbles

Today, I am going crazy. It seems the only way to not be crazy is to leave the Alcoholic, but I am not able to have this wonderful dream so I must deal with being crazy. I pretend that I have a wonderful marriage and three well-behaved kids but this is only a dream. I find myself yelling at the kids because I...

Confused2379 · Confused2379

I confronted my AH yesterday and was very angry. He moved back in with me 3 weeks ago. Since then I have been walking on egg shells. I have been trying so hard to stay out of his business. But he is drinking so much more and staying out all night Again. I told him if he came back there would be boundaries. ...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I am so grateful for this program because without it, the events over the past year would have destroyed me. Instead I am able to keep things in perspective and keep my focus where it needs to be. I am often amazed at how my higher power works and how things are revealed to me. However, the facts about my...

Debb · Debb

The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness ~ Al-anon. Pity, is a feeling of sorrow for the misfortune of others. For example I felt great pity for those affected by the Ebola virus. Pity, can sometimes be confused with love, incases o...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Ah just lies in his bed,not eatting unless I give him something. He doesnt shower,lies in his own messy bed,half un communicative. he doesnt feed or water the cats. He barely knows what is around him. Meanwhile the blessing of my bro in law today. I will be able to get cat litter,food,mail things and sea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The newest member of my family finally arrived this afternoon @ 3:45pm CST. The kids wanted to be alone with the babe so I didn't get all the stats but great APGAR scores! I watched him arrive into this world - if you've never gotten to do this, I recommend. I am not a super emotional person but this got me...

daisy31 · daisy31

I have been in the program for 3 years and have basically stayed half in and half out of alanon. I have a hard time being really open and trusting of others. I have worked the steps a year ago but it was much too fast for me and I did not feel comfortable with my sponsor. I also look for things to find fault with...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi - I've been trying to forgive my A spouse for about a year. I've re-done steps, worked with my sponsor, tried to be "entirely ready," and got help from my sponsor. Two weeks ago we had the 12th anniv. of the meeting I attend. We had two amazing speakers, both alcoholic, drug addicted, an...

Debb · Debb

I will refuse to be troubled by an uneasy sense of guilt. I will track it to its source and make good for any harm I have done. I will be most careful not to whitewash it with self-justification and self-righteousness. That would hamper everything I am trying to accomplish. "A man is relieved and g...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So, this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for a multitude of reasons. My gratitude for this job I just beyond my personal ability to express. Plus I'm hormonal so I have managed to burst into tears from time to time .. lol ... so not me however it's ok. Thankfully for the most part I have be...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading takes us back to the beginning of our Al-Anon journey. We are asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism so many of us began to read all that we could find about the disease. We began to analyze everything and wonder if Al-Anon was a philosophy or a philosophical system? What woul...

Debb · Debb

People can affect me only as I allow them to. I need not be influenced by others, for I am free to consult my own wishes and standards, and decide what is best for me. I find I can realize my own strength and confidence by working faithfully with the Al-Anon program, and using it in my daily life. "......

LADYOFFTHESEA · LADYOFFTHESEA

I been away from my family for about 20 yrs I moved south I was married to and alcoholic at a young age divorced him after 15 yrs stayed single worked on self got married again 25 wonderful yrs happy healthy relationship lots of therapy and worked on passed issues loss dh . I am now in another healthy re...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about accepting that which I cannot change and changing that which we can, through the Al-Anon program. We learn that we can not control the way alcoholism has affected our life in the past, we can not control another person, we can not make life unfold according to our own plans, we...

StarrCelena · StarrCelena

Hello! I just wanted to talk about my situation right now. This is going to be long, sorry:P I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now. When we first met I didn't really notice any huge problems with his drinking, I never met an alcoholic before. I want to start by saying I love him very much. I did star...

ameyer · ameyer

I am new to this chat room but have been attending Alanon for about 5 years. My husband's drinking was out of control and last Oct his family and I did an intervention. He did go to treatment and was out of state for 6 weeks while I kept things going at home with our three small children, work etc. The first t...

a4l · a4l

I had a counselling session today and it was very much like taking an emotional bath, with years of dirt to scrub off. While neccesary and good, it does feel a little raw. I guess I want to share a bit of my letting go process. What I've come to realise is, I didn't even know what I was carrying. And I think its...

Debb · Debb

Just for today: I will remember that what hurts today will pass in time. I can speed its departure by refusing to indulge in self-pity. Gratitude for all the good fortune that comes our way keeps us healthy.Wishing {{everyone}} a day filled with gratitude.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading makes a distinction between two miracles of recovery: our own, as one close to someone with the disease, and the alcoholic's. Recognizing the difference calls for us to truly accept steps 1 and 2 and recognize our own limits and responsibilities while respecting others', includin...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well many know my story. Married to AH, one child, been together 15+ years. Thing is . .Im freakin EXHAUSTED. ?nothings really different. .He still is out about 3times a week. Im basically a married single mom. .and well its gotten unmanageable as they say. I left a career of 15 yrs, started a new job in M...

Kasia · Kasia

My daughter, 23, has been struggling for about 6 years - I thought it was just adhd, then borderline bipolar, then a 5150, then etc. Most recently, she came home in November, and I thought we were on a good track. Then she started losing weight and met p with a former fling - a released convict with a meth ha...

mjferg · mjferg

We are getting ready to have a debate in one of our classes,I won't go into the topic,but I feel very strongly about my position.It is something that does relate to the recent passing of my ex.It is a controversial subject and I don't know if I am even ready to talk about it,it has something to do with drugs...

Debb · Debb

PRAYER FOR TODAY Lord make me an instrument of Thy Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be co...

Weeks7304 · Weeks7304

Really struggling with accepting that I am not a priority right now. New to alanon. My Wife is less than a week out of inpatient treatment. I was as supportive as humanly possible through that and continue to be. I took time off from work to reconnect but that has proven to not be the case. I feel very left o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm grateful at the moment for some of the harder lessons I've learned so far in al-anon. Primarily, I'm thinking of some of that really confronting step 4 work and taking ownership of my own "stuff". Not that I'm a master at it or anything, I have a long way to go but I am looking at the differe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change Reading starts out with, "My Life is a miracle!" This so applies to me today more than most days as 28 years ago today, I had my first sober day! This is my AA birthday (if I confused you) - I went to a long term treatment center on 10/7 (didn't go in sober). What is most ama...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT 10-15 (Preview) Good morning all,The ODA T reading for today, October 15 speaks about the importance of not giving advice a to each other or to newcomers. It offers examples of the new person entering the rooms, needing to share their confusion, anger and resentment about living with the disease of alcoholism....	hotrod	8	683	Oct 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	October (Preview) October is the anniversary of a lot of things in my alcoholic life. It marks the worst my abuse ever was with my father, as well as when it all ended. It marks the start of the relationship that finally took me away from it all. This year I began speaking to my father again. I don't allow alcohol as a part of th...	LostInThought	2	525	Oct 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	now I understand (Preview) I really get why we call ourselves miracles in progress. We all have ways to go & will never arrive. It takes a miracle that we find this & F2F meetings. I never knew so much support from "strangers". We are NOT strangers but all apart of a family. No matter how long or how much I pray I wi...	Hoot Nanny	4	548	Oct 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	Another stage of grief (Preview) I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and started having panic attacks,again.It has been a while since I have had them.I started thinking about loss and grief and it does make sense that anxiety would be one of the stages.Although it isn't listed on the stages of grief,I did some research and most p...	mjferg	5	753	Oct 15, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Thought for Today ~ Giving Love ~ 10/15/15 (Preview) Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out. If I have the capacity to give love, any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love, freely and without expectation of r...	Debb	3	699	Oct 15, 2015 by andromeda
	3 years 7 months 14 days sober pissed away because of stress........ (Preview) I really hate this disease. I had become comfortable in the sober world. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years.... I thought she had this thing under control. But no. Yesterday I got the call that she was at the bar. Had been drinking for 3 days. Now today. Sober again. And all she can do is cry. What a waste she says. What...	jodiee34	6	880	Oct 14, 2015 by Mattie
	when you can't do anything (Preview) More counselling. Grief is a strange thing. Buried grief resurfacing. It sounds as if you have accepted your loss. I just dont know if acceptance is the right word. It seems to me that when we cant physically hold the ones we love, letting go of all the pain and hurt is really difficult because somehow th...	a4l	2	731	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	The nights are the hardest (Preview) Every night is the same. I sleep only a couple of hours and then my mind starts racing. What am I missing? What could I say? Do? What would turn my son's situation around? How much worse is it going to get? Do I kick him out? Would that help him hit his bottom or would I lose him? I've been sitting here rea...	Optimist	7	932	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	RUNNING AWAY (Preview) My AD is in a down ward spiral again. Another job loss which came as no surprise. I am trying to reframe it in my mind as one step closer to her bottom. I don't know. I do know I am struggling a lot today. Her solution is to relocate again with a "fresh" start. I believe where ever you go there...	serenity47	12	812	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	FYI Only - For Educational Purposes (Preview) I don't debate about how the disease that brought us together is classified and am posting this for informational purposes only. I am one who wants to keep understanding all I can about the disease so I can 'battle it accordingly'.... (((Hugs))) to the MIP Family!! http://www.nbcnews.com/id/441...	Iamhere	0	655	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	How far is too far? (Preview) Hi there, I have been dealing with a situation and would like some input, if you're up for it! AH and I went to a sporting event out of town. AH got hammered and he is a very angry, obnoxious drunk but his behavior is mainly directed at me. Short story without going into too much detail was later in the evenin...	BuccaneerGirl	8	785	Oct 14, 2015 by serenity47
	Marriage Therapy (Preview) In an effort to save our marriage, I've arranged an appointment with a marriage therapist. My wife is completely against therapy (she had a bad experience with her ex) but she reluctantly agreed to go. The appointment is this Friday. Over the past few days, my wife has been what I can only call, &quo...	mericose	16	786	Oct 14, 2015 by confused2015
	ODAT 10 14 (Preview) I really loved today's reading in the ODAT. It speaks about how much recovery , growth and satisfaction can be gained by sharing in an Al-Anon group (or on the MIP Message Board). ,The sharing can be by giving of our time by serving as chairperson, treasurer, literature person, and by giving of ourse...	hotrod	1	461	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Amends ~ 10/14/15 (Preview) Regrets for hurtful things I have done to others may be healed by making amends as well as I can. Regrets for missed opportunities will vanish as I try to make wise choices today. Let me fill this day with thoughts and actions I will have no need to regret. Let me undertake only as much as I can accomplish we...	Debb	2	669	Oct 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	just a quote. (Preview) The quote is: "You don't help anyone by trying to impress them; you impress someone when you try to help them." I got this from The Program.	Hoot Nanny	3	451	Oct 14, 2015 by hotrod
	breathalyzers in cars? (Preview) Wondering if anyone has experience to share about breathalyzers installed in cars, especially in a preventative way (not ordered by the court)? Trying to figure out if it is realistic to insist my AH have one installed in his car. He has driven with the kids, and I don't want to play policeman. Right n...	oceanpine	7	2629	Oct 14, 2015 by Tossed Salad
	Alcoholic son (Preview) My son drinks every day. He can never stop at one. He kicked a fentanyl addiction last December with the help of intensive (and very expensive) rehab and sees the alcohol as nothing compared to that. He isn't financially able to be on his own. He's 23. He works full-time. I'm struggling to figure...	Optimist	7	913	Oct 13, 2015 by Optimist
	I come to you to say MY life is unmanageable (Preview) As I sit here typing this I realize just how much of a mess my life has become. I am writing to a message board of people I don't know because at this point in my life I am running on empty....my friends are few, my confidants fewer and my family - well to bring them into this would only cause me anguish.If you...	Theoceancalls	11	803	Oct 13, 2015 by Optimist
	Maybe I Am Doing This All Wrong(?) (Preview) I thought that I have been doing all the 'right' things,I do my daily readings,I come here and read on a regular basis,I attend f2f meetings,attend some of the ones here,reach out to others in my group,let go and let God,mind my own business,work the steps,do everything in my power to work my program to...	SoggySlippers	13	759	Oct 13, 2015 by Optimist
	Finding a sponsor on MIP (Preview) Is there a post or somewhere in the bios where members here have indicated if they are open to being a sponsor? I still haven't found someone to ask at face to face meetings and feel like I'm spinning in circles with the literature and meetings, but not putting anything into action. Thank you all for be...	Mermaid4	1	369	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Child Protective Services vs Family Court (Preview) Looking for anyone's experiences with having to deal with problems with visitation. My daughter doesn't feel comfortable with her father (she is 11 and has a younger sister, 7) Today she called me and asked me to come get her because her father was drinking so I did. She is often upset after coming home...	sookie	7	1523	Oct 13, 2015 by mvg
	AH is depressed (Preview) Having had alot of my own experience with anxiety/depression, I can see that the behavior my AH is symptoms of depression as well as alcoholism. Staying in bed 24/7,not wanting to eat,just wanting to sleep etc. I want to know if I should suggest and/or insist he get some help. Like go to the psych er or ??...	YARNCRAZY	5	800	Oct 13, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Out of no where (Preview) So yesterday my AH sat down next to me and asked, Do you want to go to therapy with me or am I going on my own? Not sure what brought this on but ok, I'll go with it. I said, I think you need to go by yourself and then later maybe I will go with you. But you need to make sure whoever you see specializes in alcoho...	confused2015	5	762	Oct 13, 2015 by Debb
	Perplexed about anonymity (Preview) Hi all, I'm new and I have a question about protecting the Anonymity of the Alcoholic. I have recently joined Al-Anon, and feel that I have arrived at a place where I feel it is helpful to share my personal journey with a few close friends, to allow them to support me and to break out of my own cycle of de...	yesor	6	718	Oct 13, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Hope for today October 13 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about keeping the focus on 'one day at a time' and remembering step 11 and the faith we have in our HPs will for us. When I think about living one day at a time I think about living in the present, and frankly- how difficult that can be at times. For me I don't get s...	yanksfan51	4	747	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ LIVING IT ~ 10/13/15 (Preview) The way I speak often reveals more than what I say. To make the program work for me, it is important to be LIVING IT. This will reveal itself in everything I do and say."By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach."We can talk as much as we need to but soon...	Debb	3	493	Oct 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Inaction ~ 10/12/15 (Preview) "The alcoholic cannot be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried everything. He won't listen to reason. I've yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave--nothing works, of course not. This is YOU applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you ST...	Debb	5	739	Oct 13, 2015 by youfoundme
	Drunk people everywhere! (Preview) Oh dear. My brother (the oldest) went interstate for a few months recently for work. He seemed to enjoy it and I was excited for him as he suffers from pretty severe OCD and anxiety and doesn't leave my mother's house other than to work, usually. (He's 30). He works all day and then drinks in front of his co...	missmeliss	3	745	Oct 12, 2015 by Debb
	QTIP!! (Preview) I work with a woman who has very serious confidence issues, and who considers me her only friend, in an otherwise hostile work environment (in her mind of course). I try very hard to remain neutral and supportive, but there are times, like today where my good nature is tested to the max! I do try to im...	Debb	9	786	Oct 12, 2015 by Mirandac
	7 long years (Preview) So i don't really know where to start, but here i go. I meet my fiance 7 years ago and i fell madly in love with him, not knowing what an alcoholic was. We have been together 7 years now and i have two kids from a previous marriage. There was always sneaking around for him and trying to lie about drinking, bu...	crystal3030	5	715	Oct 12, 2015 by crystal3030
	I am back (Preview) Hi Everyone I am back for my cruise. Weather was a bit of a challenge with high waves and winds but by the 3rd day out we were fine. Made sure I visited the exercise room each day so I could eat up a storm. Gained 5 pounds but it was worth it. Missed everyone	hotrod	12	693	Oct 12, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Daughter is Moving Out Today (Preview) My 37 year old daughter, who is bi-polar, is moving out of our home today and the movers are finishing up tomorrow morning with her heavier pieces of furniture. She got a very nice, one bedroom, just five minutes down the road and she can actually have a cat there as well. Been a long road with her and my A...	Debb	11	777	Oct 12, 2015 by confused2015
	Lol. (Preview) Everything has gone wrong today. I'm grumpy, I'm agitated, I keep dropping things, breaking things, burning things, swearing at things...ugh! Anyway I sat down on the couch before and said to my child 'That's it, I'm done with today, it's just hopeless!" and suddenly out of nowhere a big pile o...	missmeliss	5	521	Oct 12, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	ODAT 10-12 (Preview) IThe ODAT reading for today, Columbus Day speaks about being controlling. It compares being controlling to a person with a enormous thumb , pressed down upon all the people that she interacted with. This person thought that she was a loving , generous person who was just doing her job and everyo...	hotrod	11	660	Oct 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	Living with an Alcoholic (Preview) Today, I am going crazy. It seems the only way to not be crazy is to leave the Alcoholic, but I am not able to have this wonderful dream so I must deal with being crazy. I pretend that I have a wonderful marriage and three well-behaved kids but this is only a dream. I find myself yelling at the kids because I...	jpebbles	5	712	Oct 12, 2015 by milkwood
	Feel like I'm done too!! (Preview) I confronted my AH yesterday and was very angry. He moved back in with me 3 weeks ago. Since then I have been walking on egg shells. I have been trying so hard to stay out of his business. But he is drinking so much more and staying out all night Again. I told him if he came back there would be boundaries. ...	Confused2379	8	925	Oct 12, 2015 by Confused2379
	Medical Issues (Preview) I am so grateful for this program because without it, the events over the past year would have destroyed me. Instead I am able to keep things in perspective and keep my focus where it needs to be. I am often amazed at how my higher power works and how things are revealed to me. However, the facts about my...	Tossed Salad	10	561	Oct 11, 2015 by Freetime
	Definitions for 9/3/15 – Pity * Self-Pity * Compassion * Empathy (Preview) The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness ~ Al-anon. Pity, is a feeling of sorrow for the misfortune of others. For example I felt great pity for those affected by the Ebola virus. Pity, can sometimes be confused with love, incases o...	Debb	11	3592	Oct 11, 2015 by Ifnotforgrace
	Ah going down fast (Preview) Ah just lies in his bed,not eatting unless I give him something. He doesnt shower,lies in his own messy bed,half un communicative. he doesnt feed or water the cats. He barely knows what is around him. Meanwhile the blessing of my bro in law today. I will be able to get cat litter,food,mail things and sea...	YARNCRAZY	6	535	Oct 11, 2015 by Tossed Salad
	We have a BABY!!! (Preview) The newest member of my family finally arrived this afternoon @ 3:45pm CST. The kids wanted to be alone with the babe so I didn't get all the stats but great APGAR scores! I watched him arrive into this world - if you've never gotten to do this, I recommend. I am not a super emotional person but this got me...	Iamhere	16	837	Oct 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Codependency (Preview) I have been in the program for 3 years and have basically stayed half in and half out of alanon. I have a hard time being really open and trusting of others. I have worked the steps a year ago but it was much too fast for me and I did not feel comfortable with my sponsor. I also look for things to find fault with...	daisy31	6	1298	Oct 11, 2015 by Weeks7304
	forgiveness (Preview) Hi - I've been trying to forgive my A spouse for about a year. I've re-done steps, worked with my sponsor, tried to be "entirely ready," and got help from my sponsor. Two weeks ago we had the 12th anniv. of the meeting I attend. We had two amazing speakers, both alcoholic, drug addicted, an...	Lyne	6	2703	Oct 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Guilt ~ 10/11/15 (Preview) I will refuse to be troubled by an uneasy sense of guilt. I will track it to its source and make good for any harm I have done. I will be most careful not to whitewash it with self-justification and self-righteousness. That would hamper everything I am trying to accomplish. "A man is relieved and g...	Debb	3	580	Oct 11, 2015 by Debb
	Bigger than me .. (Preview) So, this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for a multitude of reasons. My gratitude for this job I just beyond my personal ability to express. Plus I'm hormonal so I have managed to burst into tears from time to time .. lol ... so not me however it's ok. Thankfully for the most part I have be...	SerenityRUS	6	596	Oct 11, 2015 by hotrod
	C2C for 10/11/15 (Preview) Today's reading takes us back to the beginning of our Al-Anon journey. We are asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism so many of us began to read all that we could find about the disease. We began to analyze everything and wonder if Al-Anon was a philosophy or a philosophical system? What woul...	Iamhere	1	519	Oct 11, 2015 by Debb
	Thought for Today ~ Freedom ~ 10/10/15 (Preview) People can affect me only as I allow them to. I need not be influenced by others, for I am free to consult my own wishes and standards, and decide what is best for me. I find I can realize my own strength and confidence by working faithfully with the Al-Anon program, and using it in my daily life. "......	Debb	9	799	Oct 11, 2015 by Debb
	sad real sad (Preview) I been away from my family for about 20 yrs I moved south I was married to and alcoholic at a young age divorced him after 15 yrs stayed single worked on self got married again 25 wonderful yrs happy healthy relationship lots of therapy and worked on passed issues loss dh . I am now in another healthy re...	LADYOFFTHESEA	2	760	Oct 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C for 10/10/15 (Preview) Today's reading is about accepting that which I cannot change and changing that which we can, through the Al-Anon program. We learn that we can not control the way alcoholism has affected our life in the past, we can not control another person, we can not make life unfold according to our own plans, we...	Iamhere	3	510	Oct 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	My alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) Hello! I just wanted to talk about my situation right now. This is going to be long, sorry:P I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now. When we first met I didn't really notice any huge problems with his drinking, I never met an alcoholic before. I want to start by saying I love him very much. I did star...	StarrCelena	5	745	Oct 10, 2015 by Lee8375
	Should I go along with the As "social drinking" ?? (Preview) I am new to this chat room but have been attending Alanon for about 5 years. My husband's drinking was out of control and last Oct his family and I did an intervention. He did go to treatment and was out of state for 6 weeks while I kept things going at home with our three small children, work etc. The first t...	ameyer	12	1094	Oct 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	taking an emotional bath/letting go. (Preview) I had a counselling session today and it was very much like taking an emotional bath, with years of dirt to scrub off. While neccesary and good, it does feel a little raw. I guess I want to share a bit of my letting go process. What I've come to realise is, I didn't even know what I was carrying. And I think its...	a4l	7	3952	Oct 9, 2015 by missmeliss
	Just for Today ~ Gratitude ~ 10/8/15 (Preview) Just for today: I will remember that what hurts today will pass in time. I can speed its departure by refusing to indulge in self-pity. Gratitude for all the good fortune that comes our way keeps us healthy.Wishing {{everyone}} a day filled with gratitude.	Debb	3	733	Oct 9, 2015 by Debb
	ODAT 10/9 The Alcoholic's Recovery - Is it Our Business? (Preview) Today's reading makes a distinction between two miracles of recovery: our own, as one close to someone with the disease, and the alcoholic's. Recognizing the difference calls for us to truly accept steps 1 and 2 and recognize our own limits and responsibilities while respecting others', includin...	Enigmatic	6	606	Oct 9, 2015 by Enigmatic
	they did say thered be days. .weeks like this. right? (Preview) Well many know my story. Married to AH, one child, been together 15+ years. Thing is . .Im freakin EXHAUSTED. ?nothings really different. .He still is out about 3times a week. Im basically a married single mom. .and well its gotten unmanageable as they say. I left a career of 15 yrs, started a new job in M...	Theoceancalls	5	823	Oct 9, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	How do I respond to my daughter's request? (Preview) My daughter, 23, has been struggling for about 6 years - I thought it was just adhd, then borderline bipolar, then a 5150, then etc. Most recently, she came home in November, and I thought we were on a good track. Then she started losing weight and met p with a former fling - a released convict with a meth ha...	Kasia	4	899	Oct 9, 2015 by Debb
	a debate (Preview) We are getting ready to have a debate in one of our classes,I won't go into the topic,but I feel very strongly about my position.It is something that does relate to the recent passing of my ex.It is a controversial subject and I don't know if I am even ready to talk about it,it has something to do with drugs...	mjferg	5	931	Oct 9, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Just for Today ~ Prayer ~ 10/9/15 (Preview) PRAYER FOR TODAY Lord make me an instrument of Thy Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be co...	Debb	2	2461	Oct 9, 2015 by andromeda
	Remaining a Priority (Preview) Really struggling with accepting that I am not a priority right now. New to alanon. My Wife is less than a week out of inpatient treatment. I was as supportive as humanly possible through that and continue to be. I took time off from work to reconnect but that has proven to not be the case. I feel very left o...	Weeks7304	18	1028	Oct 9, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Grateful tonight. (Preview) I'm grateful at the moment for some of the harder lessons I've learned so far in al-anon. Primarily, I'm thinking of some of that really confronting step 4 work and taking ownership of my own "stuff". Not that I'm a master at it or anything, I have a long way to go but I am looking at the differe...	missmeliss	7	818	Oct 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	10/8/15 - C2C (and 10/7) (Preview) The Courage to Change Reading starts out with, "My Life is a miracle!" This so applies to me today more than most days as 28 years ago today, I had my first sober day! This is my AA birthday (if I confused you) - I went to a long term treatment center on 10/7 (didn't go in sober). What is most ama...	Iamhere	1	522	Oct 8, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.