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Boundaries redax
(Preview)
Xxxx -- Edited by Maresie888 on Tuesday 3rd of August 2021 02:27:59 PM
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Maresie888
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3 AUG_Alanon forum Magazine_working thru the past
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Gratitude One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. -Sigmund Freud When I am struggling with something today, it is so easy for me to get caught up in my fears and suffering and start questioning why me? As I have grown and progressed in recovery, I have recen...
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mamalioness
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8/3/21 ODAT – I can Change Nothing but Myself
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Today's writer notes the result of focusing on the what/where/whys of others: inner turmoil. Improvement and progress depend upon the changes I make in my own perceptions and thinking.Reminder: I can change nothing but myself. By accepting that the main source of unhappiness lies within me, I beg...
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Enigmatic
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have you ever? dream(feedback please)
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I had a dream a few night's ago that really startled me. It wasn't a drunk dream for me but a dream where my AH was drunk & drinking. Mind you I have never really seen him drunk. He has been sober for almost 15 years. I have never dreamt of him actually being drunk either. I don't know why I did. It is very od...
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Hoot Nanny
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ODAT in alanon, 8/2, Live and Let Live
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The reading for Monday, 8/2, examines Live and Let Live. The writer says if we could put all the slogans together, wed be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human beings. With Live and Let Live, it is suggested to live life fully, richly, happily, and fulfill our destiny with joy from what we do. ...
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Lyne
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Two Bettyisms
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Last night in my home group zoom, I shared two things that Betty taught me. It helped me to remember them, and the group seemed to like them, so I thought I would just post them here this morning. She actually taught me many things that live on inside my head and heart, but I want to keep it short. -Dont hav...
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Lyne
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Hope for Today Aug 1
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Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of sharing and the positive effect it has for us in recovery. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home in which he/she did not have a voice in anything. This carried forward to adulthood in Alanon where it was extremely diffic...
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yanksfan51
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1 AUG_Alanon_forum_seeing the good
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Seeing the good. The beauty of our souls shines in many ways. The greatest of these is love. In the spirit of loving kindness, every day a little ugliness is removed; our perspective on life grows broader and deeper. In the spirit of love, our lives become fresher, our souls humbler; evil seems to dis...
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mamalioness
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Caregiving
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I wouldn't have said that my caregiving of others was an issue except I have had to look at my role in the relationship with the qualifier. My caregiving of him. That is in particular the financial caregiving took ne to the point of bankruptcy. In fact my credit was ruined for over 7 years Neverthele...
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Maresie888
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Courage to Change July 28
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In today's share, the author reminds us of the work of a stone cutter. A stone cutter may hit the same rock 99 times without any apparent effect, but on the 100th blow, the rock may split in two. Our work in Al-Anon can be like this as well. Whatever we are working on through the program (acceptance that alc...
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Skorpi
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JUL 30_Alanon_Forum_Playing the hand we got
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What happens to us is not as important as how we respond. The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We did not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the age in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do no...
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mamalioness
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July 29, ODAT - Be QUIET!
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Sorry I am late posting today, if only I had read and committed to the reading for today!! We are asked to provide the element of quiet to our home, rather than add to the turmoil. AND, it's not the grumbling, I am giving you the "silent treatment" type. "True quiet has the quality of serenity, acceptance...
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Bbrave
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I guess it just comes naturally when you work it enough
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I have this lovely little friend who idolizes me, according to her mom, both girls think I am the best, LOL anyway, the 13 year old got rid of her 9 year old sister, told her to go home, she would meet her there (they live up the street from me) and she sidled up to me and wanted me to give her "love advice" I wa...
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mamalioness
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got a great step 9 story1!!
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got a great step 9 story for you: this lady up the street and I had a falling out and we avoided each other and it was just as much me as it was her so I just decided that we need more love and light in this neighborhood so I knocked on her door and asked her if I could have a moment with her?? She was so shocked, sh...
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mamalioness
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Hope for Today, July 30 - Let It Begin With Me
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Today's author in Hope for Today shares that they had many illusions about what they could control. At first when they started giving up their illusions, they became angry and bitter. The illusions -- for example, trusting people who were not trustworthy -- were gone, and there was nothing in its p...
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Freetime
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JUL 28th_Al-anon magazine-the forum-Daily reflection--CHANGE
(Preview)
the forum, daily reflection for July 28th is about Sometimes Change is necessary Despite living turbulent, chaotic lives, we still don't like change. So we find our security in familiar places, rather then reach out for the unknown that is ahead of us This is not real security, because even the fam...
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mamalioness
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7/27/21 One Day at a Time - Alanon: Good for All Our Affairs
(Preview)
Today's page reminds that if ending active alcoholism was the answer to all our relationship challenges, all relationships would be perfect in the absence of alcoholism. Unarguably, alcoholism increases the challenges in a relationship by aggravating and putting additional strain or emphasi...
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Enigmatic
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7/20/21 ODAT – An Itch that Can’t be Scratched…
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...is trying to determine the why of an alcoholic's drinking, or actions when not drinking...in short, the why's of someone outside ourselves. Some will not give up trying, or coming up with reasons why they need to. In truth, even if we are a psych/olog/iatr/ist it is neither important or helpful fo...
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Enigmatic
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C2C, 7/26, illusions can make life unmanageable
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The reading for Monday, 7/26, addresses the problem of having illusions. The author talks about the illusion of having control over someone else. Tried as they might, they only received frustration. The author realized they could give up the illusion of having control. At that point they coul...
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Lyne
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Courage to Change, July 23 - Humor
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Today's author entered the rooms of Al-Anon very grim and serious. The smiles and laughter among members were hard to understand. As time went by, and they kept coming back, our author became able to laugh -- even about their own role in painful situations. The gift of laughter meant no longer see...
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Freetime
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Courage to Change 7/24
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Good morning MIP. Today's reading is Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. The author clarifies that doing God's will doesn't mean performing heroic...
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Iamhere
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Questions about supporting an addicted teen and her parent
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Greetings! I just attended my first Al Anon meeting yesterday, and am reaching out to the community for some advice on a current situation I am dealing with. First I want to apologize in advance for the long message---there's a bit of back story needed. My spouse and I spent the past year-and-a-ha...
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Yarrow
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Hope for Today July 25
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Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how some of us have used hiding as a reaction to living with active alcoholism. The writer describes finding ways to disappear before any trouble/chaos had a chance to grow. The writer goes on to say that this instinct has shown up in adulthood in the for...
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yanksfan51
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July 22, ODAT - It is all about ME
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Today we are challenged not to look for the root of our problems in the disease of alcoholism. TODAY'S REMINDER: Do I read up on alcoholism because I still hope I can find a way to make my spouse stop drinking? Do I blame all the familys adversities on the alcoholic, sober or not? Have I the courage to face...
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Bbrave
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Courage to Change July 21
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In today's reading, the author shares reflections on an opinion they held prior to Al-Anon: "The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it." The author previously thought that their loved ones would not survive unless they interfered. "Let go and Let God" is one slogan that can he...
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Skorpi
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Maybe and if so ....Good!!
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My mind and memories are filled with my former, now deceased sponsor. My eldest alcoholic/addict son is now openly preaching on facebook opportunities with others. He is preaching God as he presently understands God and I am not seeing pleas from others in the family about the sick behaviors I u...
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JerryF
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July 15, ODAT - Know your enemy
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Complacency is the enemy of personal growth. Being sure we are right blocks out understanding and kindness and leads us to judging others. TODAY'S REMINDER: Let me begin by being a little critical of my iron resolution to have things my own way. ---------- Not sure I have any wisdom here, only a refle...
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Bbrave
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C2C, Monday, 7/19, the difference between walls and boundaries
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 7/19, describes the difference between walls and boundaries. The writer says that walls are rigid and solid. They keep others out and themself trapped. Boundaries are moveable, flexible, and changeable, so they can be opened and closed. Boundaries let you say no witho...
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Lyne
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Newly sober DH, vivatrol
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Has anyone had experience with the vivatrol shot. How long have side affects last. DH just came out of rehab and was so happy and posative, 2 days later depressed and headaches.
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Lillibirdy
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New Business on the Business Forum: MIP Webmaster Needed
(closed)
(Preview)
https://alanon.activeboard.com/t67756043/position-open-mip-webmaster/
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WebHelper
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Five years sober: my husband is BORING
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Five years ago, I discovered that my husband of 18 years had cheated on me. This began some serious issues between us, which resulted in some major changes in his life. His father was an alcoholic, and I knew he drank too much, but I never really considered him a full-blown alcoholic until he declared hi...
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qwerty
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Hope for Today July 18
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Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about finding a way to replace self-pity with humor. The writer describes doing this after realizing that she was using al-anon as a place to complain. She was describing her life with her spouse and the chaos of it when she was interrupted by someone laughin...
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yanksfan51
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C2C - 7/17
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Good morning MIP. Starting with the Quote for the day - "As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them." Reminder: My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I h...
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Iamhere
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Self care Check in. Wednesday
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I thought I would do something program but kind of fun in that to keep me from thinking about the remaining alcoholic in my life, I have kind of a list and I do I step ten on what did I do to take care of me The slogan keep the focus on me is there for a very good reason. It tells me to stay in my lane and it also tells...
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mamalioness
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goodbye & missing her
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To all who follow me: I did get to spend time w/ my pastor the following Tuesday. She is officially & totally gone from our area. I had a few moments of tears before she left. It of course mad her a little sad. But the thing was she wanted to tell me to take care of myself the day of her retirement luncheon....
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Hoot Nanny
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July 16 - C2C - Relaxation
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Today's author in Courage to Change could be described as a workaholic. They kept busy with a constant frenzy of work, projects, and obligations -- so they didn't have to to rest long enough to feel how frightening their home life was. They had no idea how to relax, and were abusing socially acceptab...
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Freetime
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Gratitude Friday
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I am grateful, though not feeling my best, that I have tools and exercises to do to help me get back feeling better very grateful for MIP and the constant learning and all the tidbits of knowledge that I get here to apply to my care grateful I am on the seniors program for the yard care where the city pays my l...
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mamalioness
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Self-care Thursday
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Thursday was not the best of days but that is when I need to keep the focus on me even more. I think I think too much instead of just going with the flow and riding with the tide, my mind is chattering away over analyzing and having to ruminate on everything instead of just being quiet so my self-care Thursda...
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mamalioness
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Gratitude Thursday
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Today I am grateful my yard is nice and manicured by my yard man as I am under the seniors yard care program where the city pays for my yard to get taken care of every other week I am grateful that my needs are met grateful that my health is good Grateful that I have the discipline to keep putting out good energ...
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mamalioness
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1282
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Gratitude Wednesday
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What am I grateful for today? I am grateful that the weather has been pretty nice of late I am grateful that I know how to take good care of my pets I am grateful for the things I was able to do for my house and the biggest thing I am grateful for are the loving people I have in my life who love me and accept me as I am...
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mamalioness
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Had enough of insanity...again.
(Preview)
I don't know if anyone can relate, but I suspect so, it being the family disease. I feel like it sneaks up on me. Alcholism of loved ones, the cycles of dysfunction and I let my guard down and got sucked back in. My go to response to insanity has been to leave whatever country I am in and cut off everybody. ...
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a4l
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7.13.21 One Day @ a Time – Alanon Guidance for Our Shares
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Our desperation brought us to Alanon, a place of recovery and hope where we draw comfort from a fellowship. We show our gratitude by accepting responsibilities by: * Studying and using Alanon principles, for our own benefit and for that of the group * Showing concern for the difficulties of others by...
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Enigmatic
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Courage to Change July 14
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Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author discusses the burden of guilt. The author shares that they had not been aware of the heavy burden that their guilt was until they made amends and let that guilt go. The author shares that facing the harm they had done in the past was something that they a...
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Skorpi
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Expectations
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I am about to take a day of vacation in a week I have appointments set up for those days In the meantime I have to review my own set of expectations Certainly the pandemic has been very very hard going. I have worked throughout the pandemic. The vista of the pandemic included that I had to move out of my...
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Maresie888
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1097
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Gratitude Monday
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I am grateful that my needs are met I am grateful that my dogs do not have any fleas because I use 20 Mule team Borax in their bath I am grateful I got all my little chores done I am grateful that I am learning to slow down and pay attention
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mamalioness
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Courage to Change 7/10
(Preview)
***MIP would LOVE to have a member take over the Saturday posting of a daily from one of our readers.*** If you have interest, you can post here or send me a Private Message! Today's reading discusses how we often arrive at Al-Anon with a distorted self-image brought about by our exposure to Alcoholis...
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Iamhere
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641
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Taking a Stand
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I am grateful to another young member for the "taking a stand" title I am riding at the moment because I have been procrastinating for 2 days on making an amends for missing care on a service position here at home. Just recently I volunteered to take care of the coffee service in my just recently restar...
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JerryF
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QTIP
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Oh I am so grateful for this program. I am beginning to love myself because of the positive changes I had a pool Play date for 3 PM today with this lovely married couple that I am friends with. Theyre just kids but they are wonderful and very very moral and conscientious and Just good young people. Anyway...
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mamalioness
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C2C, 7/12, “encouraging and understanding alcoholic relatives”
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The reading for Monday, 7/12, expresses the authors confusion: are they supposed to focus on themself, or get wrapped up in the drama of others? The author felt Tradition 5 was therefore sending a contradictory message, as they either focused on themself or lost themself in others. Balance was l...
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Lyne
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Hope for Today July 11
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Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a look at the irony involved with feeling pain in association with the acceptance and care in recovery. The writer describes a phase of recovery in which she felt love, approval and respect immediately followed by sadness. Her sponsor suggested that exper...
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yanksfan51
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996
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Slogan for Sunday
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I'm gonna be gone most of Sunday, (actually today) so I am posting Sunday Slogan Let it begin with me If I want change for the good..Lasting change..Real change...Positive growth and positive coming back to me, I must work on and change ME it has to begin with ME...meditating on what I learn in my recov...
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mamalioness
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Sunday Gratitude
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What am I grateful for: this community all the love that has come to me of late my good health AND, my house big fix up jobs are DONE--Yaaay!!!! When I had unemployment coming in, I fixed up my restrooms (toilets, tub glazing, plumbing) , exterior carpentry and painting, upgraded my car, (did some work m...
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mamalioness
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What am I grateful for today
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I thought just for fun I would put up a post about gratitude and what are we grateful for every day because for me, it has been a big game changer For me. Seems the more I give thanks, the more I get blessings to be thankful for Today I am grateful that my house renovations, the big ones are done and I can relax...
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mamalioness
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It is time to take a stand
(closed)
(Preview)
https://alanon.activeboard.com/t67732896/ban-davidg/-- Edited by DM2021 on Thursday 8th of July 2021 06:36:10 PM -- Edited by DM2021 on Thursday 8th of July 2021 06:36:42 PM
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DM2021
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Prayers Please
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If you could offer a prayer it would be appreciated. My SO is in surgery. I'm here alone waiting.I rushed him to the ER last night. They told us mo bed for him, transferred him in midst of health difficulties. His kids stepped up to help to get me to a hospital far from home and for that Im grateful. They didn...
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tiredtonite
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Courage to Change July 7
(Preview)
In today's post, the author shares that pre-alanon, they felt compelled to assign blame during every conflict. At any conflict or disagreement, they felt compelled to decide who was at fault. They would spend hours writing the evidence, becoming a chronic score keeper. Attitudes of defensivenes...
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Skorpi
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ODAT in alanon, 7/5, how we treat the A
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I found this reading for Monday, 7/5, to be of interest. Its looking at the As treatment from the non-alcoholic, recognizing that the A is in a vulnerable position. The A is often on guard realizing they bring trouble to the family, and that also leaves the A open to criticism. The writer says the A is...
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Lyne
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Denial
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Another evening with AH in hospital. Being told how much his liver is damaged, to just a few hours later declaring he was told he was healthy. Denial is such a demon. But now I see it for what it truly is. A defence mechanism which if torn down would lay reality bare. And that is too much for him to handle...
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Bettertomorrow
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7/8/21 - Daily reading - Just for Tonight
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Instead of posting from one of the three daily readers, I thought today I would post from my current favorite Al-Anon Conference Approved literature -- the "Just For Tonight" bookmark. It has only been out for a couple of years, so some may not be aware of it. It can be purchased on the Al-Anon.org web...
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Freetime
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Moderator New Spam Business Board
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Can you please remove and ban isp addresses of these spammers . Another has returned with the similar solicitation. Thanks so much!
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tiredtonite
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1247
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