Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debb · Debb

"Self-love can be the source of hostility and arrogance, a big ego around which everything can revolve". "It makes one unable to see anyones point of view but our own". "It is the mark of a mind which is closed to feeling for others". "Love of self, carries...

Debb · Debb

As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance. "I pray that I may grow in my ability to use each day with poise, wis...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 8 speaks about the little pamphlet entitled:"Just for Today. It selects the simple thoughts :" just for today I will do somebody a good turn and not be found doing it. If anyone it. It will not count. This is a great exercise to help us to break the habit of bei...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 7 speaks about alcoholism as a family disease. It points out that this disease not only affects the drinker but those who care about them and live with them . Some of us have absorbed alcoholic thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation. This thinkin...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 9 speaks about finding creative solutions to impossible situation. It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism we develop destructive coping tools such as being extremely manipulative in order to get what we want. It points out that Alcoholism creates s...

texasgal · texasgal

It's been a little over a week since I broke up with the man I had been dating. I have been doubling up on my meetings and looking for positive things to do. He has been texting me that he loves me and that he is sorry abt what had happened and that he wants me. I met with him a couple of days ago and we talked. When...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I am currently going through the process of divorcing my AH and moving out of our (awesome, amazing) apartment. I keep wavering and having a very hard time with detachment and resentment of having to uproot my life. I use Melody Beattie's "Journey to the Heart" in addition to my daily Al-A...

mjferg · mjferg

I am struggling with my grief work.My therapist suggested going to visit the grave site of my ex,I didn't go after the funeral,I just went home.She thinks I need more closure.In the meantime,school is overwhelming me,my house,and the animal situation is too much!!!I feel so drained right now!!I lo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Memorial service w taps at the end. Always makes me cry. Service to my nation is an emotional experience. I got through the sharing I did. He was a long standing member of AA w over 30 years of sobriety. Generous & loving man. A friend to all.

ChipsAreFalling · ChipsAreFalling

I'm thinking it's time I sought out a sponsor to work the steps, as I need the kick in the butt to get started seriously. However, I'm at a loss how to decide who to ask (and a little apprehensive about actually doing the asking to be honest). How did you decide who would be a good fit for you?

Ms_Taylor · Ms_Taylor

I'm not evensure where to start. I emotions have been running me crazy. I have been trying to attend a meeting in person as I have never attended on before; but it seems imposible to do with my schedule. I will be attending an online meeting tonight. I feel so lost I married an Acholic-Adict who I love dear...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi everyone, A while back, I posted something about my wife having broken my windshield after throwing a bag of recyclables down 2 flights of stairs to the driveway with poor aim. She was going to pay for the windshield replacement by selling her baseball card collection. Well, I haven't seen any pr...

serenity47 · serenity47

I try to keep my expectations low as it only hurts me in the long run. Sometimes though it is the small things that hurt the most. When I am trying hard to have a relationship with the active A and they frequently don't show up, no phone call, text etc when they say they will or show up severely hung over . ...

Broken513 · Broken513

Does anyone know how I can do this without creating a new account?

Captain Jigglypuff · Captain Jigglypuff

I was abused both mentally and verbally by the woman who helped my dad raise me when I was younger. My mom left us when I was 3 and a half and this woman who was working for my dad offered to help him because he has his own business which is still open and dad couldn't always be home for my sister and me or take us t...

OceanTide · OceanTide

What else would I expect really...talked to XABF for an hour and a half Today. He has moved on with someone he met at AA. I'm not going to talk about what I think of him and that situation becuase the venom will poison me. I will stick to myself. I'm hurt, devastated, sad, depressed, angry, as usual. I'm a fo...

123456abcdef · 123456abcdef

My son is almost one and his father is an alcoholic. I have been struggling with what's the right way to raise him. I would never want to watch my son suffer from this disease. It scares me. I don't know how active his father will be in his life so essentially it will just be me. Do I take out all alcohol fro...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I haven't been coming here as much as I probably should or need to.I keep telling myself that my weekly f2f meeting,and that group of people 'should' be enough,that I need to just keep my focus on those meetings and reading the literature and working the steps in between,which I have been doing. It is no...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello family - I'll try to be brief but am struggling to get over/beyond/through my most recent situation with one of my qualifiers. As you all know, my oldest had a new baby recently - 10/6. Before that, I was helping with G-Child 1 each Monday and Thursday evening while my son is at school and the baby m...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

to leave my husband. I told him I wanted a divorce. After all of the legal trouble, emotional abuse, stealing, and lost jobs...I just can't do it anymore. I know it's the right choice, but I feel so broken right now. He is going to die if he doesn't get help. And I can't save him. I currently have no ide...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So I think it'S been about 3 weekS Since I found the pictureS of my huSband and hiS lateSt affair. I set a boundary said I'm done and want to divorce and he has spent every day since convincin. g me that I owe him yet another chance yes he's apologized and he's been kind and gracious and all of that kind while h...

Cindy1954 · Cindy1954

My sister has been sober for a few years now but has stopped going to meetings and working her program. We have a business together so need to have interaction. She used to apologize when she said something that hurt me. Since not working a program, she is mean. It seems I'm always defending myself...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

Daisy, you can see her in my profile pic and attached. She's 18-19 years old, and been the best dog we ever could have hoped for, been here all my son's life. She's been healthy as a horse, he vet is continually amazed at her good health. She's a mutt we got at the humane society. We came originally for a d...

fortoday · fortoday

I am just starting back into alanon. I have been away way too long and lost all my serenity, centeredness and peace. I was involved and did the step work about six years ago. Didn't maintain it though. Now I am watching my grown daughter recover from a bad trip off pcp put in marijuana and I am married now to...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I was really struggling last night with my AH's drinking. I knew in my head that I should be able to detach, not let it get to me, don't engage, all the stuff I read about and hear about in Al-Anon. He isn't a mean drunk, he is more the needy, fishing for praise and attention, talkative and often know-it-a...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

As time drags on from deciding in done with this marriage, im finding ut harder and harder to go home, pkay nice and dake it. I feel my ah is manipulating me every step.of the way. HE had muktiple drunken sex encounters and was caught and yet serms entitled to still bully me and call the shots. He still refu...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is about how we often have a faulty sense of self due to this disease we are all affected by. Our belief systems are often out of date, not based on facts, have little evidence and we seem to cling on to these beliefs as if its all we have got. Letting go of the negative self talk and belief syst...

Debb · Debb

No one really needs to suffer unhappiness and discontent or be deprived of the good things of life. We can find the way out by daily study of The Twelve Steps. This wholesome spiritual philosophy will help us find our way into the light of a good life. "I pray for the willingness to accept the diffi...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I am a double winner. I have been sober for a long time in AA and just now realizing I have adult child issues. I am going to Alanon and ACA. When I am in an AA meeting and share my experience, after I share I often get cross-talked at in a subtle (but not so subtle) manipulative way that is meant to tear down or d...

runningwife · runningwife

Hello all, I filed for divorce from my AH. This was after many incidents of public intoxication, arrest, OWI, and many more, including losing his job. However, I am still so afraid. I have moved out of the house with the children (which I have sole custody of for now). I am so afraid he will take the childr...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

So I'm struggling again. My next F2F meeting is Wednesday and my AH is actively drinking again. He just finished up probation on his 2nd DUI in 3 years and tonight was the worst he's been in awhile. I have my daughter here this evening so I was doing all I could do to keep him happy and not getting angry with m...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Adrienne Cassidy Born 10/30/15 at 11:43AM 9 pounds 1 ounce 21 inches long She is a pretty content baby and sleeps alot. Much different from her brother at her age. Hahaha. I am thrilled to have her in my life. Post partum time is hard and I can't get to as many alanon meetings as I'd like but I know that ch...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 5 speaks about examining our motives at all times. It points out, if we choose to speak up when something bothers us our motives for speaking will influence what we say and how we say. if I speak because I feel it is the right action for me to take and because I have a need to exp...

Debb · Debb

There is some good in even the darkest troubles that happen to me. I can acquire that knack of searching out the good, and concentrating on it. Much depends on meeting my problems head on, calmly estimating their real character, refusing to exaggerate them and then drowning them out with an inspiring...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It's been awhile since I've last posted, but I do try to read your posts a couple of times each week. There continues to be so much amazing support going on this online community- and such great examples of working our programs and keeping the focus on ourselves. Kudos to all of you! As for me, I'm doing pr...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... most of the time I am in the rooms, across the corridor from here; but y'all are never far from my thoughts. My old sponsor left Alanon completely; but I chose to be a lifetime member. My sponsor became a widow and joined the church i go to- her late hubby, as much as she herself, was...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i want to thank everyone for all the love and support during my time of need. I am healing and getting more centered daily. When the crazytrain is in your life, your emotions, feelings and thoughts spiral out of control. I am still grieving and still very hurt, i loved him deeply. One baby step to a t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has been a whirl wind of events and they just keep coming. I'm so not happy because I haven't had a chance to get out and play pool I probably won't for a couple more weeks. I can't find a good groove to get in between the kids and I. Life has been pretty good. A little scary and I just keep trying to do the...

Char724 · Char724

I am new to this. I have alcoholics in my family my whole life. My ex husband had an alcoholic tendancy, and personality. That lasted 10 years. I was also with a guy who didn't drink, but after 18 years of raising my kids and him not committing, I ended that too.I was alone for 6 years until my neighbors live...

PaulaM · PaulaM

Hi, I am new to this forum. I attend al-anon meetings at least once-a-week for the past three weeks and am working the steps, but find myself needing some help/support in-between meetings. My husband and I have a son who is an alcoholic. I now recognize myself as his enabler and codependent that has...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Tomorrow is my 31st birthday. I am 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My daughter and I might share a birthday. I am scheduled to be induced on Friday at 6AM if she does not come before then. The doctor told me today at my appointment that she cannot believe I have not had the baby yet because of medical progr...

Debb · Debb

It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself. All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words. Admitting my faults, to myself, to God and another human being, as suggested by the Fifth of the Twelve Steps, will give me a glimpse of the wonderful person I...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 4 speaks about acceptance of life on life's terms. The reading points out that the only way to find serenity is to become willing to accept the things we cannot change-- If we do this we will find that acceptance gives us choices. The reading goes on to suggest that having a p...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Nothing to serious, but hospitals and surgery are scary regardless. Appendicitis apparently. Was scary for a bit last night. In the old days, I would have been too messed up to take care of him and all our pets and get up and get back to the hospital after just leaving there 4 hours ago...yawn...

lucymae · lucymae

Not sure if I spelled that right. I live in Wasington. I am now here in Rochester MN at the Mayo clinic with my husband. He has a heart condition, we think. When he started feeling sick about 10 months ago he stopped drinking out of here. I forgot he was still an alcoholic. My life has been crazy. Reacting al...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So my ah and i are still at a standoff regarding the divorce mediator. . He has started celebrate recovery and went to his first therapy session. Im finding myself feeling conflicted. The loyal kind hearted soul in me wants to rejoice and think he has hit bottom, our marriage will survive. The realist i...

el-cee · el-cee

Thinkjng of the alcoholic in our lives as the big bad one, the one causing all our problems makes a victim out of ourselves and puts them on a high pedestal where they dont really belong. The victim label i gave myself left me feeling hopeless and frustrated, i didnt think i had choices. I felt weak and ash...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

anyone care to.share some thoughts on theze two lovely traits. Im quite sure im dealing with Both. .

pixie · pixie

My ah took the day off yesterday which is not a problem. But while we were out shopping someone from his work text him looking for a couple of phone numbers he has in his phone. Since ah was driving he had me text this person the numbers from my phone while I read them off his phone. I've talked to this person s...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for 11-2 speaks about Step 2 . It points out that the journey toward God is a process. and suggests that,looking objectively at the words, the step states "came to believe" that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The words are interesting. We c...

Debb · Debb

Listing the good and bad elements in my situation will give me new insight. I will begin correcting my problems by changing myself. I will never try to compel someone else to change, for that would help neither of us. "Knowing that only complete honesty will bring me to self-understanding, I pr...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning everyone! Today's reading is about serenity. Like the writer, I also used to consider serenity as an 'outward' and elusive destination. I always thought it sounded great but I don't think I believed I could ever feel it--- then I started doing the inward work that I needed to do. The qu...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It's hard to believe, but it's been a year this week since I ceased living with abf and struck out on my own. A lot of this post will be about him, I don't say much about him any more so I hope that's OK; he's on my mind tonight as we've just spent a few days together. I am mostly OK and sometimes not; I'm ploughin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Just FYI everyone - ignore the spammer....I've reported them already!

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 has been posted Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61113927/step-8-alanon-11-2015/ Plea...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am a Royals fan and wondered if anybody else is watching or getting ready to watch the World Series? Game 1 starts in about 5 minutes - may the best team win!!! -- Edited by Iamhere on Tuesday 27th of October 2015 07:04:55 PM

missmeliss · missmeliss

I keep chewing over and over a "problem". It's not really a huge deal but I can't reach a decision and so I'm just spinning my wheels over it constantly and turning a molehill into Mount Everest. So, knowing that my MIP friends are a tremendous group of problem solvers, I'll throw it out to you...

Debb · Debb

I will pause and think before I say anything, lest my anger turns back upon me and makes my difficulties even greater. I will know that well-timed silence can give me command of the situation as angry reproaches never can. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be pu...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I have tov write to handle my panuc. It seems since making this monumental decion mornig pani is my new standard and it scres me. Ive always been a status quo type. . Home is my sactuary. . But in the mirning i wake up sick to my stomach, shaking and forcing myself to breathe. . I know its going to get worse bef...

wonderwoman · wonderwoman

Hi everyone I am new here and think I may enjoy this

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Self Love ~ 11/08/15 (Preview) "Self-love can be the source of hostility and arrogance, a big ego around which everything can revolve". "It makes one unable to see anyones point of view but our own". "It is the mark of a mind which is closed to feeling for others". "Love of self, carries...	Debb	4	4308	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Becoming Stronger ~ 11/07/15 (Preview) As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance. "I pray that I may grow in my ability to use each day with poise, wis...	Debb	7	525	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading for 11-8 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 8 speaks about the little pamphlet entitled:"Just for Today. It selects the simple thoughts :" just for today I will do somebody a good turn and not be found doing it. If anyone it. It will not count. This is a great exercise to help us to break the habit of bei...	hotrod	1	550	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 7 speaks about alcoholism as a family disease. It points out that this disease not only affects the drinker but those who care about them and live with them . Some of us have absorbed alcoholic thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation. This thinkin...	hotrod	3	841	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C reading 11=9 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 9 speaks about finding creative solutions to impossible situation. It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism we develop destructive coping tools such as being extremely manipulative in order to get what we want. It points out that Alcoholism creates s...	hotrod	4	495	Nov 9, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	Healing (Preview) It's been a little over a week since I broke up with the man I had been dating. I have been doubling up on my meetings and looking for positive things to do. He has been texting me that he loves me and that he is sorry abt what had happened and that he wants me. I met with him a couple of days ago and we talked. When...	texasgal	4	606	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	I think I just had an HP moment. (Preview) I am currently going through the process of divorcing my AH and moving out of our (awesome, amazing) apartment. I keep wavering and having a very hard time with detachment and resentment of having to uproot my life. I use Melody Beattie's "Journey to the Heart" in addition to my daily Al-A...	Bloodshotbetty	4	548	Nov 9, 2015 by Debb
	i feel like a volcano! (Preview) I am struggling with my grief work.My therapist suggested going to visit the grave site of my ex,I didn't go after the funeral,I just went home.She thinks I need more closure.In the meantime,school is overwhelming me,my house,and the animal situation is too much!!!I feel so drained right now!!I lo...	mjferg	4	587	Nov 8, 2015 by a4l
	saying goodbye w Taps (Preview) Memorial service w taps at the end. Always makes me cry. Service to my nation is an emotional experience. I got through the sharing I did. He was a long standing member of AA w over 30 years of sobriety. Generous & loving man. A friend to all.	Hoot Nanny	5	453	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Getting a sponsor? (Preview) I'm thinking it's time I sought out a sponsor to work the steps, as I need the kick in the butt to get started seriously. However, I'm at a loss how to decide who to ask (and a little apprehensive about actually doing the asking to be honest). How did you decide who would be a good fit for you?	ChipsAreFalling	3	551	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Anger--Hurt--Crazyness (Preview) I'm not evensure where to start. I emotions have been running me crazy. I have been trying to attend a meeting in person as I have never attended on before; but it seems imposible to do with my schedule. I will be attending an online meeting tonight. I feel so lost I married an Acholic-Adict who I love dear...	Ms_Taylor	5	680	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Success! (Preview) Hi everyone, A while back, I posted something about my wife having broken my windshield after throwing a bag of recyclables down 2 flights of stairs to the driveway with poor aim. She was going to pay for the windshield replacement by selling her baseball card collection. Well, I haven't seen any pr...	Skorpi	3	363	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) I try to keep my expectations low as it only hurts me in the long run. Sometimes though it is the small things that hurt the most. When I am trying hard to have a relationship with the active A and they frequently don't show up, no phone call, text etc when they say they will or show up severely hung over . ...	serenity47	4	545	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to change nickname for message board. (Preview) Does anyone know how I can do this without creating a new account?	Broken513	1	257	Nov 8, 2015 by hotrod
	Hello. I'm new here and this is my story.... (Preview) I was abused both mentally and verbally by the woman who helped my dad raise me when I was younger. My mom left us when I was 3 and a half and this woman who was working for my dad offered to help him because he has his own business which is still open and dad couldn't always be home for my sister and me or take us t...	Captain Jigglypuff	5	577	Nov 8, 2015 by Debb
	Heartbroken again (Preview) What else would I expect really...talked to XABF for an hour and a half Today. He has moved on with someone he met at AA. I'm not going to talk about what I think of him and that situation becuase the venom will poison me. I will stick to myself. I'm hurt, devastated, sad, depressed, angry, as usual. I'm a fo...	OceanTide	4	496	Nov 7, 2015 by OceanTide
	What's the right way to raise your kid? (Preview) My son is almost one and his father is an alcoholic. I have been struggling with what's the right way to raise him. I would never want to watch my son suffer from this disease. It scares me. I don't know how active his father will be in his life so essentially it will just be me. Do I take out all alcohol fro...	123456abcdef	9	561	Nov 7, 2015 by Jerry F
	What To Do? (Preview) I haven't been coming here as much as I probably should or need to.I keep telling myself that my weekly f2f meeting,and that group of people 'should' be enough,that I need to just keep my focus on those meetings and reading the literature and working the steps in between,which I have been doing. It is no...	SoggySlippers	9	810	Nov 7, 2015 by hotrod
	"Dismissed.....Again" (Preview) Hello family - I'll try to be brief but am struggling to get over/beyond/through my most recent situation with one of my qualifiers. As you all know, my oldest had a new baby recently - 10/6. Before that, I was helping with G-Child 1 each Monday and Thursday evening while my son is at school and the baby m...	Iamhere	21	1161	Nov 7, 2015 by hiraeth
	I finally got the courage... (Preview) to leave my husband. I told him I wanted a divorce. After all of the legal trouble, emotional abuse, stealing, and lost jobs...I just can't do it anymore. I know it's the right choice, but I feel so broken right now. He is going to die if he doesn't get help. And I can't save him. I currently have no ide...	Bloodshotbetty	9	775	Nov 6, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	just so tired. . . (Preview) So I think it'S been about 3 weekS Since I found the pictureS of my huSband and hiS lateSt affair. I set a boundary said I'm done and want to divorce and he has spent every day since convincin. g me that I owe him yet another chance yes he's apologized and he's been kind and gracious and all of that kind while h...	Theoceancalls	6	578	Nov 6, 2015 by Mirandac
	Problems with AH sister (Preview) My sister has been sober for a few years now but has stopped going to meetings and working her program. We have a business together so need to have interaction. She used to apologize when she said something that hurt me. Since not working a program, she is mean. It seems I'm always defending myself...	Cindy1954	4	600	Nov 6, 2015 by hiraeth
	My old pup (Preview) Daisy, you can see her in my profile pic and attached. She's 18-19 years old, and been the best dog we ever could have hoped for, been here all my son's life. She's been healthy as a horse, he vet is continually amazed at her good health. She's a mutt we got at the humane society. We came originally for a d...	KennyFenderjazz	19	750	Nov 6, 2015 by Bethany66
	got sick, crawling my way back. (Preview) I am just starting back into alanon. I have been away way too long and lost all my serenity, centeredness and peace. I was involved and did the step work about six years ago. Didn't maintain it though. Now I am watching my grown daughter recover from a bad trip off pcp put in marijuana and I am married now to...	fortoday	4	584	Nov 6, 2015 by fortoday
	New lessons to learn each day (Preview) I was really struggling last night with my AH's drinking. I knew in my head that I should be able to detach, not let it get to me, don't engage, all the stuff I read about and hear about in Al-Anon. He isn't a mean drunk, he is more the needy, fishing for praise and attention, talkative and often know-it-a...	Bethany66	6	556	Nov 6, 2015 by milkwood
	less patient (Preview) As time drags on from deciding in done with this marriage, im finding ut harder and harder to go home, pkay nice and dake it. I feel my ah is manipulating me every step.of the way. HE had muktiple drunken sex encounters and was caught and yet serms entitled to still bully me and call the shots. He still refu...	Theoceancalls	4	621	Nov 6, 2015 by milkwood
	Faulty sense of self (Preview) Todays reading is about how we often have a faulty sense of self due to this disease we are all affected by. Our belief systems are often out of date, not based on facts, have little evidence and we seem to cling on to these beliefs as if its all we have got. Letting go of the negative self talk and belief syst...	el-cee	4	551	Nov 6, 2015 by andromeda
	Thought for Today ~ Suffering ~ 11/06/15 (Preview) No one really needs to suffer unhappiness and discontent or be deprived of the good things of life. We can find the way out by daily study of The Twelve Steps. This wholesome spiritual philosophy will help us find our way into the light of a good life. "I pray for the willingness to accept the diffi...	Debb	3	444	Nov 6, 2015 by hotrod
	Discouraging Cross Talk (Preview) I am a double winner. I have been sober for a long time in AA and just now realizing I have adult child issues. I am going to Alanon and ACA. When I am in an AA meeting and share my experience, after I share I often get cross-talked at in a subtle (but not so subtle) manipulative way that is meant to tear down or d...	WorkingThroughIt	25	3655	Nov 5, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Filed for divorce (Preview) Hello all, I filed for divorce from my AH. This was after many incidents of public intoxication, arrest, OWI, and many more, including losing his job. However, I am still so afraid. I have moved out of the house with the children (which I have sole custody of for now). I am so afraid he will take the childr...	runningwife	8	758	Nov 5, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Goodnight! (Preview) So I'm struggling again. My next F2F meeting is Wednesday and my AH is actively drinking again. He just finished up probation on his 2nd DUI in 3 years and tonight was the worst he's been in awhile. I have my daughter here this evening so I was doing all I could do to keep him happy and not getting angry with m...	Hope2000	6	681	Nov 5, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Sweet baby girl (Preview) Adrienne Cassidy Born 10/30/15 at 11:43AM 9 pounds 1 ounce 21 inches long She is a pretty content baby and sleeps alot. Much different from her brother at her age. Hahaha. I am thrilled to have her in my life. Post partum time is hard and I can't get to as many alanon meetings as I'd like but I know that ch...	Michelle814	8	594	Nov 5, 2015 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change reading 11-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 5 speaks about examining our motives at all times. It points out, if we choose to speak up when something bothers us our motives for speaking will influence what we say and how we say. if I speak because I feel it is the right action for me to take and because I have a need to exp...	hotrod	2	565	Nov 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Searching Out The Good ~ 11/05/15 (Preview) There is some good in even the darkest troubles that happen to me. I can acquire that knack of searching out the good, and concentrating on it. Much depends on meeting my problems head on, calmly estimating their real character, refusing to exaggerate them and then drowning them out with an inspiring...	Debb	2	365	Nov 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Update and Hello (Preview) It's been awhile since I've last posted, but I do try to read your posts a couple of times each week. There continues to be so much amazing support going on this online community- and such great examples of working our programs and keeping the focus on ourselves. Kudos to all of you! As for me, I'm doing pr...	Green Eyes	2	508	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	A brief hi, and hello... (Preview) Hi y'all... most of the time I am in the rooms, across the corridor from here; but y'all are never far from my thoughts. My old sponsor left Alanon completely; but I chose to be a lifetime member. My sponsor became a widow and joined the church i go to- her late hubby, as much as she herself, was...	DavidG	3	407	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thank you (Preview) i want to thank everyone for all the love and support during my time of need. I am healing and getting more centered daily. When the crazytrain is in your life, your emotions, feelings and thoughts spiral out of control. I am still grieving and still very hurt, i loved him deeply. One baby step to a t...	Mirandac	8	504	Nov 4, 2015 by Broken513
	Whew .. Glad the week is over! (Preview) It has been a whirl wind of events and they just keep coming. I'm so not happy because I haven't had a chance to get out and play pool I probably won't for a couple more weeks. I can't find a good groove to get in between the kids and I. Life has been pretty good. A little scary and I just keep trying to do the...	SerenityRUS	5	521	Nov 4, 2015 by Green Eyes
	My heart is breaking (Preview) I am new to this. I have alcoholics in my family my whole life. My ex husband had an alcoholic tendancy, and personality. That lasted 10 years. I was also with a guy who didn't drink, but after 18 years of raising my kids and him not committing, I ended that too.I was alone for 6 years until my neighbors live...	Char724	4	664	Nov 4, 2015 by a4l
	New here (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum. I attend al-anon meetings at least once-a-week for the past three weeks and am working the steps, but find myself needing some help/support in-between meetings. My husband and I have a son who is an alcoholic. I now recognize myself as his enabler and codependent that has...	PaulaM	9	627	Nov 4, 2015 by Dave2554
	Birthday Tomorrow, Baby Coming Soon, AH Doing Well (Preview) Tomorrow is my 31st birthday. I am 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My daughter and I might share a birthday. I am scheduled to be induced on Friday at 6AM if she does not come before then. The doctor told me today at my appointment that she cannot believe I have not had the baby yet because of medical progr...	Michelle814	15	609	Nov 4, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Peace With Myself ~ 11/04/15 (Preview) It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself. All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words. Admitting my faults, to myself, to God and another human being, as suggested by the Fifth of the Twelve Steps, will give me a glimpse of the wonderful person I...	Debb	2	392	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 11-4 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 4 speaks about acceptance of life on life's terms. The reading points out that the only way to find serenity is to become willing to accept the things we cannot change-- If we do this we will find that acceptance gives us choices. The reading goes on to suggest that having a p...	hotrod	1	544	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Spouse in the hospital (Preview) Nothing to serious, but hospitals and surgery are scary regardless. Appendicitis apparently. Was scary for a bit last night. In the old days, I would have been too messed up to take care of him and all our pets and get up and get back to the hospital after just leaving there 4 hours ago...yawn...	pinkchip	20	778	Nov 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	I AM A MARTYR (Preview) Not sure if I spelled that right. I live in Wasington. I am now here in Rochester MN at the Mayo clinic with my husband. He has a heart condition, we think. When he started feeling sick about 10 months ago he stopped drinking out of here. I forgot he was still an alcoholic. My life has been crazy. Reacting al...	lucymae	11	2449	Nov 4, 2015 by hotrod
	so many feelings (Preview) So my ah and i are still at a standoff regarding the divorce mediator. . He has started celebrate recovery and went to his first therapy session. Im finding myself feeling conflicted. The loyal kind hearted soul in me wants to rejoice and think he has hit bottom, our marriage will survive. The realist i...	Theoceancalls	4	586	Nov 4, 2015 by tiredtonite
	them and us stops recovery (Preview) Thinkjng of the alcoholic in our lives as the big bad one, the one causing all our problems makes a victim out of ourselves and puts them on a high pedestal where they dont really belong. The victim label i gave myself left me feeling hopeless and frustrated, i didnt think i had choices. I felt weak and ash...	el-cee	8	664	Nov 3, 2015 by Bethany66
	alcholism and narricism (Preview) anyone care to.share some thoughts on theze two lovely traits. Im quite sure im dealing with Both. .	Theoceancalls	11	878	Nov 3, 2015 by el-cee
	Don't know what to tell them (Preview) My ah took the day off yesterday which is not a problem. But while we were out shopping someone from his work text him looking for a couple of phone numbers he has in his phone. Since ah was driving he had me text this person the numbers from my phone while I read them off his phone. I've talked to this person s...	pixie	9	610	Nov 3, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Courage to Change reading 11-2 (Preview) C2C reading for 11-2 speaks about Step 2 . It points out that the journey toward God is a process. and suggests that,looking objectively at the words, the step states "came to believe" that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The words are interesting. We c...	hotrod	3	564	Nov 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Changing ~ 11/03/15 (Preview) Listing the good and bad elements in my situation will give me new insight. I will begin correcting my problems by changing myself. I will never try to compel someone else to change, for that would help neither of us. "Knowing that only complete honesty will bring me to self-understanding, I pr...	Debb	2	303	Nov 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Nov 3 Hope for Today (Preview) Good Morning everyone! Today's reading is about serenity. Like the writer, I also used to consider serenity as an 'outward' and elusive destination. I always thought it sounded great but I don't think I believed I could ever feel it--- then I started doing the inward work that I needed to do. The qu...	yanksfan51	3	515	Nov 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	My solo-versary. (Preview) It's hard to believe, but it's been a year this week since I ceased living with abf and struck out on my own. A lot of this post will be about him, I don't say much about him any more so I hope that's OK; he's on my mind tonight as we've just spent a few days together. I am mostly OK and sometimes not; I'm ploughin...	missmeliss	18	694	Nov 3, 2015 by tiredtonite
	*IGNORE THE SPAMMERS* - THEY HAVE been REPORTED (Preview) Just FYI everyone - ignore the spammer....I've reported them already!	Iamhere	15	624	Nov 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Step 8 posted (Preview) Step 8 has been posted Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61113927/step-8-alanon-11-2015/ Plea...	hotrod	1	351	Nov 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Off-Topic - Anybody But Me Watching the World Series? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I am a Royals fan and wondered if anybody else is watching or getting ready to watch the World Series? Game 1 starts in about 5 minutes - may the best team win!!! -- Edited by Iamhere on Tuesday 27th of October 2015 07:04:55 PM	Iamhere	40	988	Nov 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	Silly problem I need help with :-) (Preview) I keep chewing over and over a "problem". It's not really a huge deal but I can't reach a decision and so I'm just spinning my wheels over it constantly and turning a molehill into Mount Everest. So, knowing that my MIP friends are a tremendous group of problem solvers, I'll throw it out to you...	missmeliss	9	622	Nov 2, 2015 by abbyal
	Thought for Today ~ Pause ~ 11/02/15 (Preview) I will pause and think before I say anything, lest my anger turns back upon me and makes my difficulties even greater. I will know that well-timed silence can give me command of the situation as angry reproaches never can. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be pu...	Debb	2	322	Nov 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	panic (Preview) I have tov write to handle my panuc. It seems since making this monumental decion mornig pani is my new standard and it scres me. Ive always been a status quo type. . Home is my sactuary. . But in the mirning i wake up sick to my stomach, shaking and forcing myself to breathe. . I know its going to get worse bef...	Theoceancalls	5	639	Nov 2, 2015 by sandollars
	Just have joined (Preview) Hi everyone I am new here and think I may enjoy this	wonderwoman	4	561	Nov 2, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.