Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

finn · finn

I am leading a meeting on anonymity because it has come up that it can be uncomfortable when you meet a fellow member in public and someone asks "How do you know that person"? I haven't found any information in any of my books that give ideas about this subject.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't want to repeat myself over & over again but it is happening again just quieter. I am not on the library computer but on my tablet in the library. Another lesson in tolerance. This guy needs help & I totally get it. My day went OK after leaving here yesterday. I am working on serenity for tod...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I cant even begin to describe how bad this day was. I met with legal consult, email fought with my ah all day. .Niw im the problem, have always been the problem and yet i say the affair was my last straw. .Claims he shouodve taken last straw years ago when i stopped loving and caring and needing. And hes now o...

Shakti · Shakti

so today is my alcoholic sons birthday and we were supposed to go out for dinner. but he arrives to my home hungover from the evening before! looking terrible. i was hurt disappointed that even for this special day he made no effort to remain ok. so i decided to cancel our dinner bookings was tempted to th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- This reading is about the power of writing in terms of our recovery. Being able to freely express feelings, get them down on paper and even read them through more objectively we all ways that have been helpful to me in healing. Posting on this site and feeling the support of your...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I might be like him at times but there is a man in the library who can't keep quiet & yelling at the top of his lungs. He is trying to be overly helpful & is getting on my nerves somewhat. This might determine how long I am on here. God has a sense of humor because I have to tolerate & be patient w/ ot...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a few months but I do read everyone else's posts almost every day and find lots of strength and hope. Just a little update: we closed on our house on Sept 10 and are all moved into our new condo which is a very nice place just a bit tight for the 4 of us but we are saving money by b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The Eagle won In Dallas...I'm ecstatic but not crazy yet. She's become more of a fan and I'm becoming brain dead. lol I'm done ...need serenity now. (((hugs)))

Iamhere · Iamhere

Some of you may remember that I attended my HS reunion (35 years) this year, maybe in May. I remember RSVP'ing and being excited in the beginning. As it got closer to the event, I began to second guess my choice to go, be fearful and anxious about seeing people, and answering any questions related to my...

hardheadedwoman · hardheadedwoman

I have recently accepted the fact that I have been living with a AH for many years. I am beginning to learn about alcoholism and the role it is playing in our lives. I thought my husband was just an emotionally unavailable, unaffectionate, stubborn, argumentative, immature, selfish, uncaring, inc...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And not so much .. LOL .. I really am my own worst enemy .. I guess the good news is that I have awareness of that and I really am trying to do things differently. I'm sorting through some feelings and things that are going on at the moment, what can I change, what can let go of and what do I need to address. The...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi friends~Ah yes the holiday is approaching. My spouse is attempting not to drink, and my son and daughter-in-law are trying to loose a little weight. My sister-in-law knows my spouse has a drinking problem and a few years back, did not serve alcohol. I thought that was so sensitive and supportiv...

el-cee · el-cee

One of the symptoms or shortcomings that came into my awareness early on in alanon was my immaturity. I seriously had a really child like view of what my world should look like. Maybe i was exposed to a bit too much tv, disney or fairytales about princesses and happy ever afters. I wanted the fairytale an...

joker · joker

Since my last post, its by a true miracle and prayers that my alcoholic bf that could not stay sober for more than 3 days has been sober now for 5 weeks. Its a miracle. However, now the nightmare is starting all over again. He is very unmotivated and deeply depressed. All he has energy for is to eat and sleep...

Debb · Debb

"Self-love can be the source of hostility and arrogance, a big ego around which everything can revolve". "It makes one unable to see anyones point of view but our own". "It is the mark of a mind which is closed to feeling for others". "Love of self, carries...

Debb · Debb

As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance. "I pray that I may grow in my ability to use each day with poise, wis...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 8 speaks about the little pamphlet entitled:"Just for Today. It selects the simple thoughts :" just for today I will do somebody a good turn and not be found doing it. If anyone it. It will not count. This is a great exercise to help us to break the habit of bei...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 7 speaks about alcoholism as a family disease. It points out that this disease not only affects the drinker but those who care about them and live with them . Some of us have absorbed alcoholic thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation. This thinkin...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 9 speaks about finding creative solutions to impossible situation. It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism we develop destructive coping tools such as being extremely manipulative in order to get what we want. It points out that Alcoholism creates s...

texasgal · texasgal

It's been a little over a week since I broke up with the man I had been dating. I have been doubling up on my meetings and looking for positive things to do. He has been texting me that he loves me and that he is sorry abt what had happened and that he wants me. I met with him a couple of days ago and we talked. When...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I am currently going through the process of divorcing my AH and moving out of our (awesome, amazing) apartment. I keep wavering and having a very hard time with detachment and resentment of having to uproot my life. I use Melody Beattie's "Journey to the Heart" in addition to my daily Al-A...

mjferg · mjferg

I am struggling with my grief work.My therapist suggested going to visit the grave site of my ex,I didn't go after the funeral,I just went home.She thinks I need more closure.In the meantime,school is overwhelming me,my house,and the animal situation is too much!!!I feel so drained right now!!I lo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Memorial service w taps at the end. Always makes me cry. Service to my nation is an emotional experience. I got through the sharing I did. He was a long standing member of AA w over 30 years of sobriety. Generous & loving man. A friend to all.

ChipsAreFalling · ChipsAreFalling

I'm thinking it's time I sought out a sponsor to work the steps, as I need the kick in the butt to get started seriously. However, I'm at a loss how to decide who to ask (and a little apprehensive about actually doing the asking to be honest). How did you decide who would be a good fit for you?

Ms_Taylor · Ms_Taylor

I'm not evensure where to start. I emotions have been running me crazy. I have been trying to attend a meeting in person as I have never attended on before; but it seems imposible to do with my schedule. I will be attending an online meeting tonight. I feel so lost I married an Acholic-Adict who I love dear...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi everyone, A while back, I posted something about my wife having broken my windshield after throwing a bag of recyclables down 2 flights of stairs to the driveway with poor aim. She was going to pay for the windshield replacement by selling her baseball card collection. Well, I haven't seen any pr...

serenity47 · serenity47

I try to keep my expectations low as it only hurts me in the long run. Sometimes though it is the small things that hurt the most. When I am trying hard to have a relationship with the active A and they frequently don't show up, no phone call, text etc when they say they will or show up severely hung over . ...

Broken513 · Broken513

Does anyone know how I can do this without creating a new account?

Captain Jigglypuff · Captain Jigglypuff

I was abused both mentally and verbally by the woman who helped my dad raise me when I was younger. My mom left us when I was 3 and a half and this woman who was working for my dad offered to help him because he has his own business which is still open and dad couldn't always be home for my sister and me or take us t...

OceanTide · OceanTide

What else would I expect really...talked to XABF for an hour and a half Today. He has moved on with someone he met at AA. I'm not going to talk about what I think of him and that situation becuase the venom will poison me. I will stick to myself. I'm hurt, devastated, sad, depressed, angry, as usual. I'm a fo...

123456abcdef · 123456abcdef

My son is almost one and his father is an alcoholic. I have been struggling with what's the right way to raise him. I would never want to watch my son suffer from this disease. It scares me. I don't know how active his father will be in his life so essentially it will just be me. Do I take out all alcohol fro...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I haven't been coming here as much as I probably should or need to.I keep telling myself that my weekly f2f meeting,and that group of people 'should' be enough,that I need to just keep my focus on those meetings and reading the literature and working the steps in between,which I have been doing. It is no...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello family - I'll try to be brief but am struggling to get over/beyond/through my most recent situation with one of my qualifiers. As you all know, my oldest had a new baby recently - 10/6. Before that, I was helping with G-Child 1 each Monday and Thursday evening while my son is at school and the baby m...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

to leave my husband. I told him I wanted a divorce. After all of the legal trouble, emotional abuse, stealing, and lost jobs...I just can't do it anymore. I know it's the right choice, but I feel so broken right now. He is going to die if he doesn't get help. And I can't save him. I currently have no ide...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So I think it'S been about 3 weekS Since I found the pictureS of my huSband and hiS lateSt affair. I set a boundary said I'm done and want to divorce and he has spent every day since convincin. g me that I owe him yet another chance yes he's apologized and he's been kind and gracious and all of that kind while h...

Cindy1954 · Cindy1954

My sister has been sober for a few years now but has stopped going to meetings and working her program. We have a business together so need to have interaction. She used to apologize when she said something that hurt me. Since not working a program, she is mean. It seems I'm always defending myself...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

Daisy, you can see her in my profile pic and attached. She's 18-19 years old, and been the best dog we ever could have hoped for, been here all my son's life. She's been healthy as a horse, he vet is continually amazed at her good health. She's a mutt we got at the humane society. We came originally for a d...

fortoday · fortoday

I am just starting back into alanon. I have been away way too long and lost all my serenity, centeredness and peace. I was involved and did the step work about six years ago. Didn't maintain it though. Now I am watching my grown daughter recover from a bad trip off pcp put in marijuana and I am married now to...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I was really struggling last night with my AH's drinking. I knew in my head that I should be able to detach, not let it get to me, don't engage, all the stuff I read about and hear about in Al-Anon. He isn't a mean drunk, he is more the needy, fishing for praise and attention, talkative and often know-it-a...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

As time drags on from deciding in done with this marriage, im finding ut harder and harder to go home, pkay nice and dake it. I feel my ah is manipulating me every step.of the way. HE had muktiple drunken sex encounters and was caught and yet serms entitled to still bully me and call the shots. He still refu...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is about how we often have a faulty sense of self due to this disease we are all affected by. Our belief systems are often out of date, not based on facts, have little evidence and we seem to cling on to these beliefs as if its all we have got. Letting go of the negative self talk and belief syst...

Debb · Debb

No one really needs to suffer unhappiness and discontent or be deprived of the good things of life. We can find the way out by daily study of The Twelve Steps. This wholesome spiritual philosophy will help us find our way into the light of a good life. "I pray for the willingness to accept the diffi...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I am a double winner. I have been sober for a long time in AA and just now realizing I have adult child issues. I am going to Alanon and ACA. When I am in an AA meeting and share my experience, after I share I often get cross-talked at in a subtle (but not so subtle) manipulative way that is meant to tear down or d...

runningwife · runningwife

Hello all, I filed for divorce from my AH. This was after many incidents of public intoxication, arrest, OWI, and many more, including losing his job. However, I am still so afraid. I have moved out of the house with the children (which I have sole custody of for now). I am so afraid he will take the childr...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

So I'm struggling again. My next F2F meeting is Wednesday and my AH is actively drinking again. He just finished up probation on his 2nd DUI in 3 years and tonight was the worst he's been in awhile. I have my daughter here this evening so I was doing all I could do to keep him happy and not getting angry with m...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Adrienne Cassidy Born 10/30/15 at 11:43AM 9 pounds 1 ounce 21 inches long She is a pretty content baby and sleeps alot. Much different from her brother at her age. Hahaha. I am thrilled to have her in my life. Post partum time is hard and I can't get to as many alanon meetings as I'd like but I know that ch...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 5 speaks about examining our motives at all times. It points out, if we choose to speak up when something bothers us our motives for speaking will influence what we say and how we say. if I speak because I feel it is the right action for me to take and because I have a need to exp...

Debb · Debb

There is some good in even the darkest troubles that happen to me. I can acquire that knack of searching out the good, and concentrating on it. Much depends on meeting my problems head on, calmly estimating their real character, refusing to exaggerate them and then drowning them out with an inspiring...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It's been awhile since I've last posted, but I do try to read your posts a couple of times each week. There continues to be so much amazing support going on this online community- and such great examples of working our programs and keeping the focus on ourselves. Kudos to all of you! As for me, I'm doing pr...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... most of the time I am in the rooms, across the corridor from here; but y'all are never far from my thoughts. My old sponsor left Alanon completely; but I chose to be a lifetime member. My sponsor became a widow and joined the church i go to- her late hubby, as much as she herself, was...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i want to thank everyone for all the love and support during my time of need. I am healing and getting more centered daily. When the crazytrain is in your life, your emotions, feelings and thoughts spiral out of control. I am still grieving and still very hurt, i loved him deeply. One baby step to a t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has been a whirl wind of events and they just keep coming. I'm so not happy because I haven't had a chance to get out and play pool I probably won't for a couple more weeks. I can't find a good groove to get in between the kids and I. Life has been pretty good. A little scary and I just keep trying to do the...

Char724 · Char724

I am new to this. I have alcoholics in my family my whole life. My ex husband had an alcoholic tendancy, and personality. That lasted 10 years. I was also with a guy who didn't drink, but after 18 years of raising my kids and him not committing, I ended that too.I was alone for 6 years until my neighbors live...

PaulaM · PaulaM

Hi, I am new to this forum. I attend al-anon meetings at least once-a-week for the past three weeks and am working the steps, but find myself needing some help/support in-between meetings. My husband and I have a son who is an alcoholic. I now recognize myself as his enabler and codependent that has...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Tomorrow is my 31st birthday. I am 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My daughter and I might share a birthday. I am scheduled to be induced on Friday at 6AM if she does not come before then. The doctor told me today at my appointment that she cannot believe I have not had the baby yet because of medical progr...

Debb · Debb

It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself. All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words. Admitting my faults, to myself, to God and another human being, as suggested by the Fifth of the Twelve Steps, will give me a glimpse of the wonderful person I...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 4 speaks about acceptance of life on life's terms. The reading points out that the only way to find serenity is to become willing to accept the things we cannot change-- If we do this we will find that acceptance gives us choices. The reading goes on to suggest that having a p...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Nothing to serious, but hospitals and surgery are scary regardless. Appendicitis apparently. Was scary for a bit last night. In the old days, I would have been too messed up to take care of him and all our pets and get up and get back to the hospital after just leaving there 4 hours ago...yawn...

lucymae · lucymae

Not sure if I spelled that right. I live in Wasington. I am now here in Rochester MN at the Mayo clinic with my husband. He has a heart condition, we think. When he started feeling sick about 10 months ago he stopped drinking out of here. I forgot he was still an alcoholic. My life has been crazy. Reacting al...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So my ah and i are still at a standoff regarding the divorce mediator. . He has started celebrate recovery and went to his first therapy session. Im finding myself feeling conflicted. The loyal kind hearted soul in me wants to rejoice and think he has hit bottom, our marriage will survive. The realist i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to introduce an Al Anon member that you meet in public. How to say you know each other??? Anonymity when meeting a member in public (Preview) I am leading a meeting on anonymity because it has come up that it can be uncomfortable when you meet a fellow member in public and someone asks "How do you know that person"? I haven't found any information in any of my books that give ideas about this subject.	finn	8	616	Nov 10, 2015 by maryjane
	same thing different day! (Preview) I don't want to repeat myself over & over again but it is happening again just quieter. I am not on the library computer but on my tablet in the library. Another lesson in tolerance. This guy needs help & I totally get it. My day went OK after leaving here yesterday. I am working on serenity for tod...	Hoot Nanny	4	531	Nov 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	horrible day? (Preview) I cant even begin to describe how bad this day was. I met with legal consult, email fought with my ah all day. .Niw im the problem, have always been the problem and yet i say the affair was my last straw. .Claims he shouodve taken last straw years ago when i stopped loving and caring and needing. And hes now o...	Theoceancalls	12	673	Nov 10, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	confused (Preview) so today is my alcoholic sons birthday and we were supposed to go out for dinner. but he arrives to my home hungover from the evening before! looking terrible. i was hurt disappointed that even for this special day he made no effort to remain ok. so i decided to cancel our dinner bookings was tempted to th...	Shakti	4	472	Nov 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Nov 10 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- This reading is about the power of writing in terms of our recovery. Being able to freely express feelings, get them down on paper and even read them through more objectively we all ways that have been helpful to me in healing. Posting on this site and feeling the support of your...	yanksfan51	3	424	Nov 10, 2015 by andromeda
	disturbing man in the library...Patience & Tolerance (Preview) I might be like him at times but there is a man in the library who can't keep quiet & yelling at the top of his lungs. He is trying to be overly helpful & is getting on my nerves somewhat. This might determine how long I am on here. God has a sense of humor because I have to tolerate & be patient w/ ot...	Hoot Nanny	5	532	Nov 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	Always looking for more.... (Preview) Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a few months but I do read everyone else's posts almost every day and find lots of strength and hope. Just a little update: we closed on our house on Sept 10 and are all moved into our new condo which is a very nice place just a bit tight for the 4 of us but we are saving money by b...	Yankeerose	8	619	Nov 9, 2015 by Yankeerose
	My wife just lost her serenity... (Preview) The Eagle won In Dallas...I'm ecstatic but not crazy yet. She's become more of a fan and I'm becoming brain dead. lol I'm done ...need serenity now. (((hugs)))	Jerry F	4	514	Nov 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	Excitement and Anxiety over Road Trip (Preview) Some of you may remember that I attended my HS reunion (35 years) this year, maybe in May. I remember RSVP'ing and being excited in the beginning. As it got closer to the event, I began to second guess my choice to go, be fearful and anxious about seeing people, and answering any questions related to my...	Iamhere	13	673	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	?New to Group so many questions (Preview) I have recently accepted the fact that I have been living with a AH for many years. I am beginning to learn about alcoholism and the role it is playing in our lives. I thought my husband was just an emotionally unavailable, unaffectionate, stubborn, argumentative, immature, selfish, uncaring, inc...	hardheadedwoman	23	1077	Nov 9, 2015 by a4l
	Changes .. (Preview) And not so much .. LOL .. I really am my own worst enemy .. I guess the good news is that I have awareness of that and I really am trying to do things differently. I'm sorting through some feelings and things that are going on at the moment, what can I change, what can let go of and what do I need to address. The...	SerenityRUS	6	1045	Nov 9, 2015 by Debb
	Thanksgiving (Preview) Hi friends~Ah yes the holiday is approaching. My spouse is attempting not to drink, and my son and daughter-in-law are trying to loose a little weight. My sister-in-law knows my spouse has a drinking problem and a few years back, did not serve alcohol. I thought that was so sensitive and supportiv...	Lyne	6	794	Nov 9, 2015 by Lyne
	alcoholism and fairy tales (Preview) One of the symptoms or shortcomings that came into my awareness early on in alanon was my immaturity. I seriously had a really child like view of what my world should look like. Maybe i was exposed to a bit too much tv, disney or fairytales about princesses and happy ever afters. I wanted the fairytale an...	el-cee	9	823	Nov 9, 2015 by ABM
	Dealing with a sober ABF (Preview) Since my last post, its by a true miracle and prayers that my alcoholic bf that could not stay sober for more than 3 days has been sober now for 5 weeks. Its a miracle. However, now the nightmare is starting all over again. He is very unmotivated and deeply depressed. All he has energy for is to eat and sleep...	joker	4	680	Nov 9, 2015 by milkwood
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Self Love ~ 11/08/15 (Preview) "Self-love can be the source of hostility and arrogance, a big ego around which everything can revolve". "It makes one unable to see anyones point of view but our own". "It is the mark of a mind which is closed to feeling for others". "Love of self, carries...	Debb	4	4406	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Becoming Stronger ~ 11/07/15 (Preview) As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance. "I pray that I may grow in my ability to use each day with poise, wis...	Debb	7	531	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading for 11-8 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 8 speaks about the little pamphlet entitled:"Just for Today. It selects the simple thoughts :" just for today I will do somebody a good turn and not be found doing it. If anyone it. It will not count. This is a great exercise to help us to break the habit of bei...	hotrod	1	559	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 7 speaks about alcoholism as a family disease. It points out that this disease not only affects the drinker but those who care about them and live with them . Some of us have absorbed alcoholic thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation. This thinkin...	hotrod	3	847	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C reading 11=9 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 9 speaks about finding creative solutions to impossible situation. It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism we develop destructive coping tools such as being extremely manipulative in order to get what we want. It points out that Alcoholism creates s...	hotrod	4	502	Nov 9, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	Healing (Preview) It's been a little over a week since I broke up with the man I had been dating. I have been doubling up on my meetings and looking for positive things to do. He has been texting me that he loves me and that he is sorry abt what had happened and that he wants me. I met with him a couple of days ago and we talked. When...	texasgal	4	614	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	I think I just had an HP moment. (Preview) I am currently going through the process of divorcing my AH and moving out of our (awesome, amazing) apartment. I keep wavering and having a very hard time with detachment and resentment of having to uproot my life. I use Melody Beattie's "Journey to the Heart" in addition to my daily Al-A...	Bloodshotbetty	4	558	Nov 9, 2015 by Debb
	i feel like a volcano! (Preview) I am struggling with my grief work.My therapist suggested going to visit the grave site of my ex,I didn't go after the funeral,I just went home.She thinks I need more closure.In the meantime,school is overwhelming me,my house,and the animal situation is too much!!!I feel so drained right now!!I lo...	mjferg	4	598	Nov 8, 2015 by a4l
	saying goodbye w Taps (Preview) Memorial service w taps at the end. Always makes me cry. Service to my nation is an emotional experience. I got through the sharing I did. He was a long standing member of AA w over 30 years of sobriety. Generous & loving man. A friend to all.	Hoot Nanny	5	461	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Getting a sponsor? (Preview) I'm thinking it's time I sought out a sponsor to work the steps, as I need the kick in the butt to get started seriously. However, I'm at a loss how to decide who to ask (and a little apprehensive about actually doing the asking to be honest). How did you decide who would be a good fit for you?	ChipsAreFalling	3	559	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Anger--Hurt--Crazyness (Preview) I'm not evensure where to start. I emotions have been running me crazy. I have been trying to attend a meeting in person as I have never attended on before; but it seems imposible to do with my schedule. I will be attending an online meeting tonight. I feel so lost I married an Acholic-Adict who I love dear...	Ms_Taylor	5	688	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Success! (Preview) Hi everyone, A while back, I posted something about my wife having broken my windshield after throwing a bag of recyclables down 2 flights of stairs to the driveway with poor aim. She was going to pay for the windshield replacement by selling her baseball card collection. Well, I haven't seen any pr...	Skorpi	3	371	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) I try to keep my expectations low as it only hurts me in the long run. Sometimes though it is the small things that hurt the most. When I am trying hard to have a relationship with the active A and they frequently don't show up, no phone call, text etc when they say they will or show up severely hung over . ...	serenity47	4	552	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to change nickname for message board. (Preview) Does anyone know how I can do this without creating a new account?	Broken513	1	263	Nov 8, 2015 by hotrod
	Hello. I'm new here and this is my story.... (Preview) I was abused both mentally and verbally by the woman who helped my dad raise me when I was younger. My mom left us when I was 3 and a half and this woman who was working for my dad offered to help him because he has his own business which is still open and dad couldn't always be home for my sister and me or take us t...	Captain Jigglypuff	5	585	Nov 8, 2015 by Debb
	Heartbroken again (Preview) What else would I expect really...talked to XABF for an hour and a half Today. He has moved on with someone he met at AA. I'm not going to talk about what I think of him and that situation becuase the venom will poison me. I will stick to myself. I'm hurt, devastated, sad, depressed, angry, as usual. I'm a fo...	OceanTide	4	501	Nov 7, 2015 by OceanTide
	What's the right way to raise your kid? (Preview) My son is almost one and his father is an alcoholic. I have been struggling with what's the right way to raise him. I would never want to watch my son suffer from this disease. It scares me. I don't know how active his father will be in his life so essentially it will just be me. Do I take out all alcohol fro...	123456abcdef	9	568	Nov 7, 2015 by Jerry F
	What To Do? (Preview) I haven't been coming here as much as I probably should or need to.I keep telling myself that my weekly f2f meeting,and that group of people 'should' be enough,that I need to just keep my focus on those meetings and reading the literature and working the steps in between,which I have been doing. It is no...	SoggySlippers	9	818	Nov 7, 2015 by hotrod
	"Dismissed.....Again" (Preview) Hello family - I'll try to be brief but am struggling to get over/beyond/through my most recent situation with one of my qualifiers. As you all know, my oldest had a new baby recently - 10/6. Before that, I was helping with G-Child 1 each Monday and Thursday evening while my son is at school and the baby m...	Iamhere	21	1172	Nov 7, 2015 by hiraeth
	I finally got the courage... (Preview) to leave my husband. I told him I wanted a divorce. After all of the legal trouble, emotional abuse, stealing, and lost jobs...I just can't do it anymore. I know it's the right choice, but I feel so broken right now. He is going to die if he doesn't get help. And I can't save him. I currently have no ide...	Bloodshotbetty	9	783	Nov 6, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	just so tired. . . (Preview) So I think it'S been about 3 weekS Since I found the pictureS of my huSband and hiS lateSt affair. I set a boundary said I'm done and want to divorce and he has spent every day since convincin. g me that I owe him yet another chance yes he's apologized and he's been kind and gracious and all of that kind while h...	Theoceancalls	6	586	Nov 6, 2015 by Mirandac
	Problems with AH sister (Preview) My sister has been sober for a few years now but has stopped going to meetings and working her program. We have a business together so need to have interaction. She used to apologize when she said something that hurt me. Since not working a program, she is mean. It seems I'm always defending myself...	Cindy1954	4	608	Nov 6, 2015 by hiraeth
	My old pup (Preview) Daisy, you can see her in my profile pic and attached. She's 18-19 years old, and been the best dog we ever could have hoped for, been here all my son's life. She's been healthy as a horse, he vet is continually amazed at her good health. She's a mutt we got at the humane society. We came originally for a d...	KennyFenderjazz	19	757	Nov 6, 2015 by Bethany66
	got sick, crawling my way back. (Preview) I am just starting back into alanon. I have been away way too long and lost all my serenity, centeredness and peace. I was involved and did the step work about six years ago. Didn't maintain it though. Now I am watching my grown daughter recover from a bad trip off pcp put in marijuana and I am married now to...	fortoday	4	590	Nov 6, 2015 by fortoday
	New lessons to learn each day (Preview) I was really struggling last night with my AH's drinking. I knew in my head that I should be able to detach, not let it get to me, don't engage, all the stuff I read about and hear about in Al-Anon. He isn't a mean drunk, he is more the needy, fishing for praise and attention, talkative and often know-it-a...	Bethany66	6	562	Nov 6, 2015 by milkwood
	less patient (Preview) As time drags on from deciding in done with this marriage, im finding ut harder and harder to go home, pkay nice and dake it. I feel my ah is manipulating me every step.of the way. HE had muktiple drunken sex encounters and was caught and yet serms entitled to still bully me and call the shots. He still refu...	Theoceancalls	4	630	Nov 6, 2015 by milkwood
	Faulty sense of self (Preview) Todays reading is about how we often have a faulty sense of self due to this disease we are all affected by. Our belief systems are often out of date, not based on facts, have little evidence and we seem to cling on to these beliefs as if its all we have got. Letting go of the negative self talk and belief syst...	el-cee	4	557	Nov 6, 2015 by andromeda
	Thought for Today ~ Suffering ~ 11/06/15 (Preview) No one really needs to suffer unhappiness and discontent or be deprived of the good things of life. We can find the way out by daily study of The Twelve Steps. This wholesome spiritual philosophy will help us find our way into the light of a good life. "I pray for the willingness to accept the diffi...	Debb	3	454	Nov 6, 2015 by hotrod
	Discouraging Cross Talk (Preview) I am a double winner. I have been sober for a long time in AA and just now realizing I have adult child issues. I am going to Alanon and ACA. When I am in an AA meeting and share my experience, after I share I often get cross-talked at in a subtle (but not so subtle) manipulative way that is meant to tear down or d...	WorkingThroughIt	25	3705	Nov 5, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Filed for divorce (Preview) Hello all, I filed for divorce from my AH. This was after many incidents of public intoxication, arrest, OWI, and many more, including losing his job. However, I am still so afraid. I have moved out of the house with the children (which I have sole custody of for now). I am so afraid he will take the childr...	runningwife	8	765	Nov 5, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Goodnight! (Preview) So I'm struggling again. My next F2F meeting is Wednesday and my AH is actively drinking again. He just finished up probation on his 2nd DUI in 3 years and tonight was the worst he's been in awhile. I have my daughter here this evening so I was doing all I could do to keep him happy and not getting angry with m...	Hope2000	6	690	Nov 5, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Sweet baby girl (Preview) Adrienne Cassidy Born 10/30/15 at 11:43AM 9 pounds 1 ounce 21 inches long She is a pretty content baby and sleeps alot. Much different from her brother at her age. Hahaha. I am thrilled to have her in my life. Post partum time is hard and I can't get to as many alanon meetings as I'd like but I know that ch...	Michelle814	8	602	Nov 5, 2015 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change reading 11-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 5 speaks about examining our motives at all times. It points out, if we choose to speak up when something bothers us our motives for speaking will influence what we say and how we say. if I speak because I feel it is the right action for me to take and because I have a need to exp...	hotrod	2	573	Nov 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Searching Out The Good ~ 11/05/15 (Preview) There is some good in even the darkest troubles that happen to me. I can acquire that knack of searching out the good, and concentrating on it. Much depends on meeting my problems head on, calmly estimating their real character, refusing to exaggerate them and then drowning them out with an inspiring...	Debb	2	372	Nov 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Update and Hello (Preview) It's been awhile since I've last posted, but I do try to read your posts a couple of times each week. There continues to be so much amazing support going on this online community- and such great examples of working our programs and keeping the focus on ourselves. Kudos to all of you! As for me, I'm doing pr...	Green Eyes	2	511	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	A brief hi, and hello... (Preview) Hi y'all... most of the time I am in the rooms, across the corridor from here; but y'all are never far from my thoughts. My old sponsor left Alanon completely; but I chose to be a lifetime member. My sponsor became a widow and joined the church i go to- her late hubby, as much as she herself, was...	DavidG	3	413	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thank you (Preview) i want to thank everyone for all the love and support during my time of need. I am healing and getting more centered daily. When the crazytrain is in your life, your emotions, feelings and thoughts spiral out of control. I am still grieving and still very hurt, i loved him deeply. One baby step to a t...	Mirandac	8	533	Nov 4, 2015 by Broken513
	Whew .. Glad the week is over! (Preview) It has been a whirl wind of events and they just keep coming. I'm so not happy because I haven't had a chance to get out and play pool I probably won't for a couple more weeks. I can't find a good groove to get in between the kids and I. Life has been pretty good. A little scary and I just keep trying to do the...	SerenityRUS	5	529	Nov 4, 2015 by Green Eyes
	My heart is breaking (Preview) I am new to this. I have alcoholics in my family my whole life. My ex husband had an alcoholic tendancy, and personality. That lasted 10 years. I was also with a guy who didn't drink, but after 18 years of raising my kids and him not committing, I ended that too.I was alone for 6 years until my neighbors live...	Char724	4	669	Nov 4, 2015 by a4l
	New here (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum. I attend al-anon meetings at least once-a-week for the past three weeks and am working the steps, but find myself needing some help/support in-between meetings. My husband and I have a son who is an alcoholic. I now recognize myself as his enabler and codependent that has...	PaulaM	9	633	Nov 4, 2015 by Dave2554
	Birthday Tomorrow, Baby Coming Soon, AH Doing Well (Preview) Tomorrow is my 31st birthday. I am 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My daughter and I might share a birthday. I am scheduled to be induced on Friday at 6AM if she does not come before then. The doctor told me today at my appointment that she cannot believe I have not had the baby yet because of medical progr...	Michelle814	15	616	Nov 4, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Peace With Myself ~ 11/04/15 (Preview) It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself. All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words. Admitting my faults, to myself, to God and another human being, as suggested by the Fifth of the Twelve Steps, will give me a glimpse of the wonderful person I...	Debb	2	398	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 11-4 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 4 speaks about acceptance of life on life's terms. The reading points out that the only way to find serenity is to become willing to accept the things we cannot change-- If we do this we will find that acceptance gives us choices. The reading goes on to suggest that having a p...	hotrod	1	553	Nov 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Spouse in the hospital (Preview) Nothing to serious, but hospitals and surgery are scary regardless. Appendicitis apparently. Was scary for a bit last night. In the old days, I would have been too messed up to take care of him and all our pets and get up and get back to the hospital after just leaving there 4 hours ago...yawn...	pinkchip	20	787	Nov 4, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	I AM A MARTYR (Preview) Not sure if I spelled that right. I live in Wasington. I am now here in Rochester MN at the Mayo clinic with my husband. He has a heart condition, we think. When he started feeling sick about 10 months ago he stopped drinking out of here. I forgot he was still an alcoholic. My life has been crazy. Reacting al...	lucymae	11	2499	Nov 4, 2015 by hotrod
	so many feelings (Preview) So my ah and i are still at a standoff regarding the divorce mediator. . He has started celebrate recovery and went to his first therapy session. Im finding myself feeling conflicted. The loyal kind hearted soul in me wants to rejoice and think he has hit bottom, our marriage will survive. The realist i...	Theoceancalls	4	594	Nov 4, 2015 by tiredtonite
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.