Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

medicmoni · medicmoni

Yesterday, I had a long talk with my ABF. He relapsed Tuesday night, called me, and berated me for everything he could thing of. After getting in some OT at work yesterday, I headed over to his house. When I saw that he was sober, I decided to talk. I let loose with all that had been on my mind since that Tuesd...

missmeliss · missmeliss

And around the wheel turns...gah! Excuse me if this is a little bit venty but I've been holding it in all day!! I mentioned the other day that my mother seems to be having some serious memory problems and I'm concerned for her. We have these conversations and then a few days later she claims we haven't spo...

inlove · inlove

Now I am faced with a dilemma. Stay is a stable, non alcoholic but not program based relationship or follow my heart. This Al Anon man has been extremely loving and supportive to me through an illness which required surgery and treatment and continues to love and support me emotionally while I try to...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So as i type this im trying fall asleep on a make shift bed in my home office. If u folliw me at all u know my ah has been having a two +yr long drunken sexual affair with what was a "familyfriend". I founnd the texts, emails and pics. .a month ago and yet here I am ob the floor. My daughter sleeps rest...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So since my last updat. . I went to a cnslg session at ah request to "work onforgiveness and getting pastmy anger". Needless to say when she heard fromme that i was nit ready for forgiveness and not seeki.g reconciliation, ah immediately felt i was toblame for how the cnslr responded. She tr...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 14. talks about Step Six and being "entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character". It suggests that this entire readiness does not appear in a single flash of light, but instead, as we struggle to make progress we become ready a little at a...

Debb · Debb

Alcoholism is a disease the alcoholic is a sick human being we do not punish people for being sick, is a statement that I hear a lot in Al-Anon meetings. When it comes to real acceptance, my instinctive attitude toward the alcoholic is often hostile, as though he/she were the enemy, willfully bent on hu...

1breathatatime · 1breathatatime

I need support to keep working on myself- doing the steps, and loving myself. When my beloved alcoholic continues to blame me, and I continue to search my character for darkness and unconsciousness, he is relentless and skillful at manipulating the fault on to me- he has been bringing up the word chao...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Our news here in the US is flooded with the events currently happening in Paris. I just want to offer thoughts and prayers to any/all MIP members that may be affected by these events. Prayers for a swift resolution and prayers for peace.

lisad67 · lisad67

Im new here, this is my second topic. I have so many questions and puzzles in my mind i want answered and solved. I am a person who needs an answer or reason for impacts in my life. I realize its not always possible. My boyfriend and i had a bad fight last night. It wasnt as bad as usual, because i gave in much so...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am glad that all of you are out there even if I don't feel right sometimes. I have to remember to not get carried away posting. Just know that I am sincere & have good intentions. I am probably not doing the wrong things or saying the wrong things. Maybe these are the reasons I don't feel like I should b...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the idea that" things that are urgent" are rarely important, and things are important for rarely urgent. This is a very interesting observation I know I prior to alanon used to run about like "Chicken Little " sure that the "...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Does the holidays bring chaos to everyone? My ah who I am separated from has been going to celebrate recovery, a therapist and a pychoanalyst for two months. He has been at the house a lot and we have been getting along ok..now the holidays... Originally I was going somewhere by myself since my daughter...

Theresa B · Theresa B

I'm sitting at my desk at work writing this. I've been here since 5am because I needed to leave the house as my husband began a rampage that started at 3:30 this morning, waking me out of a sound sleep, to tell me how horrible I am and how I drove him into drunkenness last night. Upon entering my office an...

lisad67 · lisad67

I have been with my bf for five yrs. We have a three yo, and my two kids live with us. He is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday. He has been verbally abusive and as i type this he is txting me about how horrible i am. I want to leave him but i have no where to go with three kids and no job. He has made me completely depe...

Debb · Debb

Remember to meditate today even for just 5 minutes. Remember be thankful for the many blessings that come to you each day. You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy. ~ Kahlil Gibran: The Prophet Be careful today on this Friday the 13th! -- E...

Kate19 · Kate19

OK. The subject line isn't really true. I DO want my alcoholic husband to quit drinking, but there's a big part of me that mourns the loss of "Fun Bobby" (Friends reference, I hope y'all get it). He has decided completely on his own to quit drinking and start attending AA. While I fully suppor...

Char724 · Char724

I am new here. I have never had an AH this close before and although I am familiar with the program due to a recovering late Brother in law, it never hit home like this has. This is my neighbor. His live in has left and moved back twice now,this third time he had no one. I understood he was a drinker, but he was n...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I start this off that way becayse i swear i just dont know who i am, what i feel or what i think. I do think its startinhlg to sink into my ah that im done. I left this house this morning and have stayed away all day. Let him kno i might go to my parents for dinner and woukd like to bring daughter but that if he would...

mjferg · mjferg

I woke up early this morning with a different feeling, a more peaceful feeling than I have had in a while.I have been so busy with school and the grieving that I feel like I kind of lost myself.Yesterday was a day crammed full of work,I ran errands,I wrote three papers and an essay, studied for a test and to...

medicmoni · medicmoni

Thank you to those that have decided to share your story and struggle. I find solace and strength in knowing that I am not alone in my struggles with my ABF. I have found strength in your encouraging posts, and found myself asking this very question last night and today.I have been wrestling with leavin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was disturbed by that topic today as it was the reading we chose at our meeting. I Would rather have almost any other topic today as I wasn't feeling very sane. I didn't try to control the meeting but wanted to share something else. I waited a long time before I shared. I hope no one thought I was having a pr...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 12 speaks about applying the tools of Al-Anon to our everyday life. It uses the example of watching and really listening to people in Al-Anon meetings as they share on the difficult problems that they face. By uncritical listening, we can see how they apply the slo...

Debb · Debb

I have been learning the knack of listening uncritically to everything I hear. If we are consistently focused on our own negativity and confusion, then we are unable to hear and listen to what is being said to us, therefore we do not learn. It is a privilege of wisdom to listen ~ O.W. HolmesHonestly wo...

missmeliss · missmeliss

My mum is only 58. But her memory has been bad for a long time and maybe a year ago I finally figured out she wasn't asking me the same questions over and over because she was trying to wind me up, she honestly didn't remember having asked me a few minutes ago. Well it's getting so much worse. This isn't alcoh...

Debb · Debb

Have you noticed that when you react too emotionally to a situation, even an unjustified verbal attack, it really can make you sick, with actual physical symptoms? Al-Anon has taught me to keep my own well being in mind; I try to detach when the storm clouds of tension and temper appear. This is healt...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 11 speaks about the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It defines the word insanity as; "doing something the same way over and over and expecting different results. I can certainly identify with this action, because I did this continually - I thought my wa...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I was reviewing some old notes from an Al Anon convention I went to back in July. The speaker asked us these 4 key questions, which I will ask of all of you. This is a great exercise to bring back centeredness and to bring God back into the equation of working your steps: 1. How can I make better contac...

jamky · jamky

I know it's a cleche' people say dont take your loved ones for granted. I have seen it several times this week alone. But tonight I had to say goodbye to my soulmate of 24 years. I had always pictured us growing old together, sitting on a porch in our rockingchairs watching our grandchildren play... all o...

PUPPY · PUPPY

I had a worry that as soon as my son contacted us two weeks ago and told us he's been sober and wants to re established his relationship with us that I would start reverting back to my codependent . He called me on Monday to ask if we could all get together on Saturday.. I said I would call him back after I check...

el-cee · el-cee

I got up this morning, said hello to my higher power, got focussed on my program before I even got out of bed. The morning went so smoothly as if my higher power was telling me something. So right from the off I was presented with choices. My sons gf hurt her leg and took a day off work. Right away I felt some ju...

Lee8375 · Lee8375

May seem a daft question and I know that in some situations the answer may be more to do with personal safety but at what point should someone completely throw the towel in and give up on someone they love. Is it when the loved one stops trying, is it when they revert to type and the full/empty bottles &...

finn · finn

I am leading a meeting on anonymity because it has come up that it can be uncomfortable when you meet a fellow member in public and someone asks "How do you know that person"? I haven't found any information in any of my books that give ideas about this subject.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't want to repeat myself over & over again but it is happening again just quieter. I am not on the library computer but on my tablet in the library. Another lesson in tolerance. This guy needs help & I totally get it. My day went OK after leaving here yesterday. I am working on serenity for tod...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I cant even begin to describe how bad this day was. I met with legal consult, email fought with my ah all day. .Niw im the problem, have always been the problem and yet i say the affair was my last straw. .Claims he shouodve taken last straw years ago when i stopped loving and caring and needing. And hes now o...

Shakti · Shakti

so today is my alcoholic sons birthday and we were supposed to go out for dinner. but he arrives to my home hungover from the evening before! looking terrible. i was hurt disappointed that even for this special day he made no effort to remain ok. so i decided to cancel our dinner bookings was tempted to th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- This reading is about the power of writing in terms of our recovery. Being able to freely express feelings, get them down on paper and even read them through more objectively we all ways that have been helpful to me in healing. Posting on this site and feeling the support of your...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I might be like him at times but there is a man in the library who can't keep quiet & yelling at the top of his lungs. He is trying to be overly helpful & is getting on my nerves somewhat. This might determine how long I am on here. God has a sense of humor because I have to tolerate & be patient w/ ot...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a few months but I do read everyone else's posts almost every day and find lots of strength and hope. Just a little update: we closed on our house on Sept 10 and are all moved into our new condo which is a very nice place just a bit tight for the 4 of us but we are saving money by b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The Eagle won In Dallas...I'm ecstatic but not crazy yet. She's become more of a fan and I'm becoming brain dead. lol I'm done ...need serenity now. (((hugs)))

Iamhere · Iamhere

Some of you may remember that I attended my HS reunion (35 years) this year, maybe in May. I remember RSVP'ing and being excited in the beginning. As it got closer to the event, I began to second guess my choice to go, be fearful and anxious about seeing people, and answering any questions related to my...

hardheadedwoman · hardheadedwoman

I have recently accepted the fact that I have been living with a AH for many years. I am beginning to learn about alcoholism and the role it is playing in our lives. I thought my husband was just an emotionally unavailable, unaffectionate, stubborn, argumentative, immature, selfish, uncaring, inc...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And not so much .. LOL .. I really am my own worst enemy .. I guess the good news is that I have awareness of that and I really am trying to do things differently. I'm sorting through some feelings and things that are going on at the moment, what can I change, what can let go of and what do I need to address. The...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi friends~Ah yes the holiday is approaching. My spouse is attempting not to drink, and my son and daughter-in-law are trying to loose a little weight. My sister-in-law knows my spouse has a drinking problem and a few years back, did not serve alcohol. I thought that was so sensitive and supportiv...

el-cee · el-cee

One of the symptoms or shortcomings that came into my awareness early on in alanon was my immaturity. I seriously had a really child like view of what my world should look like. Maybe i was exposed to a bit too much tv, disney or fairytales about princesses and happy ever afters. I wanted the fairytale an...

joker · joker

Since my last post, its by a true miracle and prayers that my alcoholic bf that could not stay sober for more than 3 days has been sober now for 5 weeks. Its a miracle. However, now the nightmare is starting all over again. He is very unmotivated and deeply depressed. All he has energy for is to eat and sleep...

Debb · Debb

"Self-love can be the source of hostility and arrogance, a big ego around which everything can revolve". "It makes one unable to see anyones point of view but our own". "It is the mark of a mind which is closed to feeling for others". "Love of self, carries...

Debb · Debb

As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance. "I pray that I may grow in my ability to use each day with poise, wis...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 8 speaks about the little pamphlet entitled:"Just for Today. It selects the simple thoughts :" just for today I will do somebody a good turn and not be found doing it. If anyone it. It will not count. This is a great exercise to help us to break the habit of bei...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 7 speaks about alcoholism as a family disease. It points out that this disease not only affects the drinker but those who care about them and live with them . Some of us have absorbed alcoholic thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation. This thinkin...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 9 speaks about finding creative solutions to impossible situation. It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism we develop destructive coping tools such as being extremely manipulative in order to get what we want. It points out that Alcoholism creates s...

texasgal · texasgal

It's been a little over a week since I broke up with the man I had been dating. I have been doubling up on my meetings and looking for positive things to do. He has been texting me that he loves me and that he is sorry abt what had happened and that he wants me. I met with him a couple of days ago and we talked. When...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I am currently going through the process of divorcing my AH and moving out of our (awesome, amazing) apartment. I keep wavering and having a very hard time with detachment and resentment of having to uproot my life. I use Melody Beattie's "Journey to the Heart" in addition to my daily Al-A...

mjferg · mjferg

I am struggling with my grief work.My therapist suggested going to visit the grave site of my ex,I didn't go after the funeral,I just went home.She thinks I need more closure.In the meantime,school is overwhelming me,my house,and the animal situation is too much!!!I feel so drained right now!!I lo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Memorial service w taps at the end. Always makes me cry. Service to my nation is an emotional experience. I got through the sharing I did. He was a long standing member of AA w over 30 years of sobriety. Generous & loving man. A friend to all.

ChipsAreFalling · ChipsAreFalling

I'm thinking it's time I sought out a sponsor to work the steps, as I need the kick in the butt to get started seriously. However, I'm at a loss how to decide who to ask (and a little apprehensive about actually doing the asking to be honest). How did you decide who would be a good fit for you?

Ms_Taylor · Ms_Taylor

I'm not evensure where to start. I emotions have been running me crazy. I have been trying to attend a meeting in person as I have never attended on before; but it seems imposible to do with my schedule. I will be attending an online meeting tonight. I feel so lost I married an Acholic-Adict who I love dear...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi everyone, A while back, I posted something about my wife having broken my windshield after throwing a bag of recyclables down 2 flights of stairs to the driveway with poor aim. She was going to pay for the windshield replacement by selling her baseball card collection. Well, I haven't seen any pr...

serenity47 · serenity47

I try to keep my expectations low as it only hurts me in the long run. Sometimes though it is the small things that hurt the most. When I am trying hard to have a relationship with the active A and they frequently don't show up, no phone call, text etc when they say they will or show up severely hung over . ...

Broken513 · Broken513

Does anyone know how I can do this without creating a new account?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	No closure... (Preview) Yesterday, I had a long talk with my ABF. He relapsed Tuesday night, called me, and berated me for everything he could thing of. After getting in some OT at work yesterday, I headed over to his house. When I saw that he was sober, I decided to talk. I let loose with all that had been on my mind since that Tuesd...	medicmoni	5	811	Nov 15, 2015 by missmeliss
	Icky Sunday (Preview) And around the wheel turns...gah! Excuse me if this is a little bit venty but I've been holding it in all day!! I mentioned the other day that my mother seems to be having some serious memory problems and I'm concerned for her. We have these conversations and then a few days later she claims we haven't spo...	missmeliss	10	652	Nov 15, 2015 by missmeliss
	I fell in love with someone over the years in Al Anon (Preview) Now I am faced with a dilemma. Stay is a stable, non alcoholic but not program based relationship or follow my heart. This Al Anon man has been extremely loving and supportive to me through an illness which required surgery and treatment and continues to love and support me emotionally while I try to...	inlove	13	697	Nov 15, 2015 by inlove
	tired worn out angry depressed. . (Preview) So as i type this im trying fall asleep on a make shift bed in my home office. If u folliw me at all u know my ah has been having a two +yr long drunken sexual affair with what was a "familyfriend". I founnd the texts, emails and pics. .a month ago and yet here I am ob the floor. My daughter sleeps rest...	Theoceancalls	5	474	Nov 15, 2015 by milkwood
	update and encouragement (Preview) So since my last updat. . I went to a cnslg session at ah request to "work onforgiveness and getting pastmy anger". Needless to say when she heard fromme that i was nit ready for forgiveness and not seeki.g reconciliation, ah immediately felt i was toblame for how the cnslr responded. She tr...	Theoceancalls	2	633	Nov 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 11-14 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 14. talks about Step Six and being "entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character". It suggests that this entire readiness does not appear in a single flash of light, but instead, as we struggle to make progress we become ready a little at a...	hotrod	3	509	Nov 14, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Alcoholism ~ 11/14/15 (Preview) Alcoholism is a disease the alcoholic is a sick human being we do not punish people for being sick, is a statement that I hear a lot in Al-Anon meetings. When it comes to real acceptance, my instinctive attitude toward the alcoholic is often hostile, as though he/she were the enemy, willfully bent on hu...	Debb	2	2019	Nov 14, 2015 by Iamhere
	Not sure where to begin really, feeling so hopeless and constantly blamed. Needing some insight & ongoing support/TLC (Preview) I need support to keep working on myself- doing the steps, and loving myself. When my beloved alcoholic continues to blame me, and I continue to search my character for darkness and unconsciousness, he is relentless and skillful at manipulating the fault on to me- he has been bringing up the word chao...	1breathatatime	11	767	Nov 14, 2015 by Mattie
	Thoughts & Prayers for any MIP family in Paris/Italy (Preview) Our news here in the US is flooded with the events currently happening in Paris. I just want to offer thoughts and prayers to any/all MIP members that may be affected by these events. Prayers for a swift resolution and prayers for peace.	Iamhere	4	287	Nov 14, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	symptoms (Preview) Im new here, this is my second topic. I have so many questions and puzzles in my mind i want answered and solved. I am a person who needs an answer or reason for impacts in my life. I realize its not always possible. My boyfriend and i had a bad fight last night. It wasnt as bad as usual, because i gave in much so...	lisad67	7	805	Nov 13, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	I wasn't going to post: (Preview) I am glad that all of you are out there even if I don't feel right sometimes. I have to remember to not get carried away posting. Just know that I am sincere & have good intentions. I am probably not doing the wrong things or saying the wrong things. Maybe these are the reasons I don't feel like I should b...	Hoot Nanny	3	607	Nov 13, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 11-13 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the idea that" things that are urgent" are rarely important, and things are important for rarely urgent. This is a very interesting observation I know I prior to alanon used to run about like "Chicken Little " sure that the "...	hotrod	3	637	Nov 13, 2015 by Debb
	Holidays (Preview) Does the holidays bring chaos to everyone? My ah who I am separated from has been going to celebrate recovery, a therapist and a pychoanalyst for two months. He has been at the house a lot and we have been getting along ok..now the holidays... Originally I was going somewhere by myself since my daughter...	Helpangel	7	748	Nov 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	So very tired (Preview) I'm sitting at my desk at work writing this. I've been here since 5am because I needed to leave the house as my husband began a rampage that started at 3:30 this morning, waking me out of a sound sleep, to tell me how horrible I am and how I drove him into drunkenness last night. Upon entering my office an...	Theresa B	13	516	Nov 13, 2015 by Freetime
	new here need help (Preview) I have been with my bf for five yrs. We have a three yo, and my two kids live with us. He is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday. He has been verbally abusive and as i type this he is txting me about how horrible i am. I want to leave him but i have no where to go with three kids and no job. He has made me completely depe...	lisad67	18	751	Nov 13, 2015 by Freetime
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Remember ~ 11/13/15 (Preview) Remember to meditate today even for just 5 minutes. Remember be thankful for the many blessings that come to you each day. You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy. ~ Kahlil Gibran: The Prophet Be careful today on this Friday the 13th! -- E...	Debb	3	413	Nov 13, 2015 by Iamhere
	I don't want my husband to quit drinking... (Preview) OK. The subject line isn't really true. I DO want my alcoholic husband to quit drinking, but there's a big part of me that mourns the loss of "Fun Bobby" (Friends reference, I hope y'all get it). He has decided completely on his own to quit drinking and start attending AA. While I fully suppor...	Kate19	17	4687	Nov 12, 2015 by maryjane
	When you love an AH , who says they do not love you the same. (Preview) I am new here. I have never had an AH this close before and although I am familiar with the program due to a recovering late Brother in law, it never hit home like this has. This is my neighbor. His live in has left and moved back twice now,this third time he had no one. I understood he was a drinker, but he was n...	Char724	3	538	Nov 12, 2015 by tiredtonite
	this disease messes with everything (Preview) I start this off that way becayse i swear i just dont know who i am, what i feel or what i think. I do think its startinhlg to sink into my ah that im done. I left this house this morning and have stayed away all day. Let him kno i might go to my parents for dinner and woukd like to bring daughter but that if he would...	Theoceancalls	14	705	Nov 12, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	a struggle with being critical of myself (Preview) I woke up early this morning with a different feeling, a more peaceful feeling than I have had in a while.I have been so busy with school and the grieving that I feel like I kind of lost myself.Yesterday was a day crammed full of work,I ran errands,I wrote three papers and an essay, studied for a test and to...	mjferg	4	771	Nov 12, 2015 by Mattie
	Asking myself daily: Do I stay or do I go? (Preview) Thank you to those that have decided to share your story and struggle. I find solace and strength in knowing that I am not alone in my struggles with my ABF. I have found strength in your encouraging posts, and found myself asking this very question last night and today.I have been wrestling with leavin...	medicmoni	6	841	Nov 12, 2015 by medicmoni
	insanity (Preview) I was disturbed by that topic today as it was the reading we chose at our meeting. I Would rather have almost any other topic today as I wasn't feeling very sane. I didn't try to control the meeting but wanted to share something else. I waited a long time before I shared. I hope no one thought I was having a pr...	Hoot Nanny	6	935	Nov 12, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading for 11-12 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 12 speaks about applying the tools of Al-Anon to our everyday life. It uses the example of watching and really listening to people in Al-Anon meetings as they share on the difficult problems that they face. By uncritical listening, we can see how they apply the slo...	hotrod	1	498	Nov 12, 2015 by Iamhere
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Listening ~ 11/12/15 (Preview) I have been learning the knack of listening uncritically to everything I hear. If we are consistently focused on our own negativity and confusion, then we are unable to hear and listen to what is being said to us, therefore we do not learn. It is a privilege of wisdom to listen ~ O.W. HolmesHonestly wo...	Debb	2	540	Nov 12, 2015 by el-cee
	Say something? Let it be? Ugh! (Preview) My mum is only 58. But her memory has been bad for a long time and maybe a year ago I finally figured out she wasn't asking me the same questions over and over because she was trying to wind me up, she honestly didn't remember having asked me a few minutes ago. Well it's getting so much worse. This isn't alcoh...	missmeliss	12	681	Nov 11, 2015 by Mattie
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Peace of Mind ~ 11/11/15 (Preview) Have you noticed that when you react too emotionally to a situation, even an unjustified verbal attack, it really can make you sick, with actual physical symptoms? Al-Anon has taught me to keep my own well being in mind; I try to detach when the storm clouds of tension and temper appear. This is healt...	Debb	2	487	Nov 11, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 11-11 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 11 speaks about the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It defines the word insanity as; "doing something the same way over and over and expecting different results. I can certainly identify with this action, because I did this continually - I thought my wa...	hotrod	3	466	Nov 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Things I took from convention (Preview) So, I was reviewing some old notes from an Al Anon convention I went to back in July. The speaker asked us these 4 key questions, which I will ask of all of you. This is a great exercise to bring back centeredness and to bring God back into the equation of working your steps: 1. How can I make better contac...	andromeda	4	571	Nov 11, 2015 by Iamhere
	Please stop the madness (Preview) I know it's a cleche' people say dont take your loved ones for granted. I have seen it several times this week alone. But tonight I had to say goodbye to my soulmate of 24 years. I had always pictured us growing old together, sitting on a porch in our rockingchairs watching our grandchildren play... all o...	jamky	7	644	Nov 11, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Detachment (Preview) I had a worry that as soon as my son contacted us two weeks ago and told us he's been sober and wants to re established his relationship with us that I would start reverting back to my codependent . He called me on Monday to ask if we could all get together on Saturday.. I said I would call him back after I check...	PUPPY	9	715	Nov 11, 2015 by Debb
	HP's will = happiness (Preview) I got up this morning, said hello to my higher power, got focussed on my program before I even got out of bed. The morning went so smoothly as if my higher power was telling me something. So right from the off I was presented with choices. My sons gf hurt her leg and took a day off work. Right away I felt some ju...	el-cee	3	573	Nov 11, 2015 by Debb
	At what point does detachment with love move to detachment (Preview) May seem a daft question and I know that in some situations the answer may be more to do with personal safety but at what point should someone completely throw the towel in and give up on someone they love. Is it when the loved one stops trying, is it when they revert to type and the full/empty bottles &...	Lee8375	15	1119	Nov 10, 2015 by Shakti
	How to introduce an Al Anon member that you meet in public. How to say you know each other??? Anonymity when meeting a member in public (Preview) I am leading a meeting on anonymity because it has come up that it can be uncomfortable when you meet a fellow member in public and someone asks "How do you know that person"? I haven't found any information in any of my books that give ideas about this subject.	finn	8	690	Nov 10, 2015 by maryjane
	same thing different day! (Preview) I don't want to repeat myself over & over again but it is happening again just quieter. I am not on the library computer but on my tablet in the library. Another lesson in tolerance. This guy needs help & I totally get it. My day went OK after leaving here yesterday. I am working on serenity for tod...	Hoot Nanny	4	580	Nov 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	horrible day? (Preview) I cant even begin to describe how bad this day was. I met with legal consult, email fought with my ah all day. .Niw im the problem, have always been the problem and yet i say the affair was my last straw. .Claims he shouodve taken last straw years ago when i stopped loving and caring and needing. And hes now o...	Theoceancalls	12	715	Nov 10, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	confused (Preview) so today is my alcoholic sons birthday and we were supposed to go out for dinner. but he arrives to my home hungover from the evening before! looking terrible. i was hurt disappointed that even for this special day he made no effort to remain ok. so i decided to cancel our dinner bookings was tempted to th...	Shakti	4	529	Nov 10, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Nov 10 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- This reading is about the power of writing in terms of our recovery. Being able to freely express feelings, get them down on paper and even read them through more objectively we all ways that have been helpful to me in healing. Posting on this site and feeling the support of your...	yanksfan51	3	480	Nov 10, 2015 by andromeda
	disturbing man in the library...Patience & Tolerance (Preview) I might be like him at times but there is a man in the library who can't keep quiet & yelling at the top of his lungs. He is trying to be overly helpful & is getting on my nerves somewhat. This might determine how long I am on here. God has a sense of humor because I have to tolerate & be patient w/ ot...	Hoot Nanny	5	582	Nov 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	Always looking for more.... (Preview) Hi everyone! I haven't posted in a few months but I do read everyone else's posts almost every day and find lots of strength and hope. Just a little update: we closed on our house on Sept 10 and are all moved into our new condo which is a very nice place just a bit tight for the 4 of us but we are saving money by b...	Yankeerose	8	675	Nov 9, 2015 by Yankeerose
	My wife just lost her serenity... (Preview) The Eagle won In Dallas...I'm ecstatic but not crazy yet. She's become more of a fan and I'm becoming brain dead. lol I'm done ...need serenity now. (((hugs)))	Jerry F	4	555	Nov 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	Excitement and Anxiety over Road Trip (Preview) Some of you may remember that I attended my HS reunion (35 years) this year, maybe in May. I remember RSVP'ing and being excited in the beginning. As it got closer to the event, I began to second guess my choice to go, be fearful and anxious about seeing people, and answering any questions related to my...	Iamhere	13	716	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	?New to Group so many questions (Preview) I have recently accepted the fact that I have been living with a AH for many years. I am beginning to learn about alcoholism and the role it is playing in our lives. I thought my husband was just an emotionally unavailable, unaffectionate, stubborn, argumentative, immature, selfish, uncaring, inc...	hardheadedwoman	23	1141	Nov 9, 2015 by a4l
	Changes .. (Preview) And not so much .. LOL .. I really am my own worst enemy .. I guess the good news is that I have awareness of that and I really am trying to do things differently. I'm sorting through some feelings and things that are going on at the moment, what can I change, what can let go of and what do I need to address. The...	SerenityRUS	6	1080	Nov 9, 2015 by Debb
	Thanksgiving (Preview) Hi friends~Ah yes the holiday is approaching. My spouse is attempting not to drink, and my son and daughter-in-law are trying to loose a little weight. My sister-in-law knows my spouse has a drinking problem and a few years back, did not serve alcohol. I thought that was so sensitive and supportiv...	Lyne	6	853	Nov 9, 2015 by Lyne
	alcoholism and fairy tales (Preview) One of the symptoms or shortcomings that came into my awareness early on in alanon was my immaturity. I seriously had a really child like view of what my world should look like. Maybe i was exposed to a bit too much tv, disney or fairytales about princesses and happy ever afters. I wanted the fairytale an...	el-cee	9	875	Nov 9, 2015 by ABM
	Dealing with a sober ABF (Preview) Since my last post, its by a true miracle and prayers that my alcoholic bf that could not stay sober for more than 3 days has been sober now for 5 weeks. Its a miracle. However, now the nightmare is starting all over again. He is very unmotivated and deeply depressed. All he has energy for is to eat and sleep...	joker	4	730	Nov 9, 2015 by milkwood
	One Day At A Time Quotes ~ Self Love ~ 11/08/15 (Preview) "Self-love can be the source of hostility and arrogance, a big ego around which everything can revolve". "It makes one unable to see anyones point of view but our own". "It is the mark of a mind which is closed to feeling for others". "Love of self, carries...	Debb	4	4732	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Becoming Stronger ~ 11/07/15 (Preview) As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance. "I pray that I may grow in my ability to use each day with poise, wis...	Debb	7	585	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading for 11-8 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 8 speaks about the little pamphlet entitled:"Just for Today. It selects the simple thoughts :" just for today I will do somebody a good turn and not be found doing it. If anyone it. It will not count. This is a great exercise to help us to break the habit of bei...	hotrod	1	621	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11-7 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 7 speaks about alcoholism as a family disease. It points out that this disease not only affects the drinker but those who care about them and live with them . Some of us have absorbed alcoholic thinking that has been passed on from generation to generation. This thinkin...	hotrod	3	908	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C reading 11=9 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 9 speaks about finding creative solutions to impossible situation. It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism we develop destructive coping tools such as being extremely manipulative in order to get what we want. It points out that Alcoholism creates s...	hotrod	4	556	Nov 9, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	Healing (Preview) It's been a little over a week since I broke up with the man I had been dating. I have been doubling up on my meetings and looking for positive things to do. He has been texting me that he loves me and that he is sorry abt what had happened and that he wants me. I met with him a couple of days ago and we talked. When...	texasgal	4	656	Nov 9, 2015 by Iamhere
	I think I just had an HP moment. (Preview) I am currently going through the process of divorcing my AH and moving out of our (awesome, amazing) apartment. I keep wavering and having a very hard time with detachment and resentment of having to uproot my life. I use Melody Beattie's "Journey to the Heart" in addition to my daily Al-A...	Bloodshotbetty	4	615	Nov 9, 2015 by Debb
	i feel like a volcano! (Preview) I am struggling with my grief work.My therapist suggested going to visit the grave site of my ex,I didn't go after the funeral,I just went home.She thinks I need more closure.In the meantime,school is overwhelming me,my house,and the animal situation is too much!!!I feel so drained right now!!I lo...	mjferg	4	653	Nov 8, 2015 by a4l
	saying goodbye w Taps (Preview) Memorial service w taps at the end. Always makes me cry. Service to my nation is an emotional experience. I got through the sharing I did. He was a long standing member of AA w over 30 years of sobriety. Generous & loving man. A friend to all.	Hoot Nanny	5	507	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Getting a sponsor? (Preview) I'm thinking it's time I sought out a sponsor to work the steps, as I need the kick in the butt to get started seriously. However, I'm at a loss how to decide who to ask (and a little apprehensive about actually doing the asking to be honest). How did you decide who would be a good fit for you?	ChipsAreFalling	3	617	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Anger--Hurt--Crazyness (Preview) I'm not evensure where to start. I emotions have been running me crazy. I have been trying to attend a meeting in person as I have never attended on before; but it seems imposible to do with my schedule. I will be attending an online meeting tonight. I feel so lost I married an Acholic-Adict who I love dear...	Ms_Taylor	5	754	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Success! (Preview) Hi everyone, A while back, I posted something about my wife having broken my windshield after throwing a bag of recyclables down 2 flights of stairs to the driveway with poor aim. She was going to pay for the windshield replacement by selling her baseball card collection. Well, I haven't seen any pr...	Skorpi	3	412	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) I try to keep my expectations low as it only hurts me in the long run. Sometimes though it is the small things that hurt the most. When I am trying hard to have a relationship with the active A and they frequently don't show up, no phone call, text etc when they say they will or show up severely hung over . ...	serenity47	4	595	Nov 8, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to change nickname for message board. (Preview) Does anyone know how I can do this without creating a new account?	Broken513	1	309	Nov 8, 2015 by hotrod
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