Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I have asked many people in my life to not speak negatively of my ex husband and not to offer advice. I have a friend who refuses to do that, saying I need reminders of how terrible things were so I don't go back. I told her it is not helpful in my forgiveness work and dealing with my resentments. I told her...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Facing my truths, owning my part and healing and going forward, That's a lot of hard work and reflection. I am sitting here listening to meditation music on you tube. i am so glad to be out of the crazy and that toxic Environment. I really was close to a An emotional and mental break down. At the hands of a m...

ShellyM · ShellyM

I've posted a few times before, and I am beginning to understand how this works and why it works. I've been to 3 meetings. My entire life I've focused on worrying about (ie: controlling) other people. Finding out that I don't have to do that anymore is such a gift. It isn't easy -- being one way for 47 years...

hotrod · hotrod

The CC reading for December 23 speaks about "belonging in Al-Anon. " The Third Tradition suggests that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. If we are not aware of alcoholism in a family member, the reading suggests that we co...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

Sorry, I think this is going to be long, but so much has gone on in the last 48 hours or so, I need to get it all out... Bound and determined to not fall into the helplessness and tears of last Christmas, I've prepared myself better this year. My kids - 15, 12, and 10 - are all quite aware of their dad's drinkin...

andromeda · andromeda

I think it's weird that my boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or, at least, that's how I felt this past weekend. A lot was revealed to me over the weekend and I realized that I have a ton of growth ahead of me! We had a conversation where he basically told me that I try too hard. That I people plea...

Truth · Truth

I am getting tired. I know it is my job to protect my boundaries. The emotional abuse is draining me. I set a boundary and follow through and my ex-A just changes the tactic. I am practicing self-validation just tired.

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

The 12 Steps of ChristmasAdmitted we were powerless over Christmas and that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than consumer credit could restore our sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to Santa as we understood him.Made a searching and fea...

Islander22 · Islander22

I can't keep excusing his episodes of drinking. I cant protect my sweet children from his crap anymore. So exhausting! He will go a month, sometimes several. Then the flood gate opens and he stays out til 2am and is so intoxicated. Then a fight, then he sulks around for three days repeat, repeat re...

Seymore · Seymore

Hello everyone. I'm new here. Please bear with me. I started dating my ex two and a half years ago. She had told me she used to drink a bottle of wine a night during her previous marriage, but since she met me she hadn't felt the need to. Well, in the next few months I was spending more and more time with h...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

So for the past month or so I've been down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself for things I don't have in my relationship. It was consuming my thoughts 24/7. Well, I go for my annual pap and assume everything is fine--it's not. Came back mildly abnormal so now I have to go for a colposcopy/biopsy on Dec 14...

Stizzle · Stizzle

Hi, there! :) I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this... I am a chemically dependent person with four years of sobriety, currently (yahoo!). I'm one of three children; my two sisters and I are grown now (in our 30's), but we were raised by two alcoholic parents. Our father is deceased,...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sad again... I wish I was on a beach in CA...soaking up the sun. Don't get me wrong...I love it up here in the snow... there is a peacefulness...& time of reflection. This time of year I just have to wing it...smile & suck it up! So now that I have exhausted myself I will wrap myself w love & gent...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the place that prayer holds in meetings and in program, and how some may be turned away if not religious or no longer religious. Personally, although i have had various degrees of participation in my particular religion, I have always felt comfort...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So last night was supposed to be my Christmas with my ABF as I am leave tonight to go see my family back east, and he is leaving on Christmas to see his for 2 weeks. We were supposed to go get dinner and look at Christmas lights around town. He went out to a party the night before and stayed out all night and day....

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I graduated on Friday, December 18th with a degree in nursing and can't believe I made it through my full time program as a full-time single Mother raising my two girls while holding down a part-time job. I still need to work on my confidence even after achieving all that I have, but I am darn proud that I s...

zaipiaz · zaipiaz

My paternal family is full of alcoholics. My dad was a "dry drunk", which is a term I heard tossed about when I was young but I didn't fully appreciate the implications. My first serious adult relationship was with an alcoholic. A decade later, as I stand ready to face another holiday alo...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

In a box in the closet - a luxurious pair of leather gloves, some pepper jelly for my stocking, and bunch of mini bottles of vodka. That's just what he hasn't had time to stash in the trash I'm sure, and he's drinking beer all day long out in the open. I know Christmas is a trigger for him - it is for most peo...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I'm having a hard time coming to terms that I will not be with my ABF for the holidays. I will be with my family out of state and he with his. This is going to be the first time we have been away from each other for more then a few days. Holidays have always been about family and being with the ones you love the mos...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 21 talks about the eighth and ninth step. These discuss making a list of people we've harmed and making amends This reading suggests that we place ourselves at the top of that list of people we have harmed and proceed to make amends to ourselves. . The reading goes on...

lookingup · lookingup

Don't know what I'd do without this board to come to,especially all of you for your esh and listening to me while I vent ,I feel like I'm complaining a lot I dunno,you all are all I've really got to share my feelings with and feel validated.im gonna have to do online meetings looks like cause I have night bl...

Jerry F · Jerry F

We had an early gift for the kids opening event with family last evening and it was fun with decadent foods yuuuuuum. It got to the "open an early Christmas gift for the kids part" and one of our great grands got a doctors bag with all the toy stuff that lit up and blinked and unscrewed and such. O...

Monkeylostinlove · Monkeylostinlove

I don't drink almost ever. I did as a teen but do not enjoy being out of control or feeling sick and useless the next day. My parents were big drinkers one still is the other stopped for health reasons. My husband and his uncle are and his father was alcoholic. His father joined AA and stopped drinking his u...

petey49 · petey49

Hi. New here and not sure. We have been married 20 years. He has been drinkng almost daily for the past 8 years and daily for the past 3 years at least. He drinks 1.75l of wishkey every 5 - 6 days. I did a number of on-line quizzes and tests pretending I was him and based on what I know about him. Base...

LabileLucy · LabileLucy

Hey all, I'm 25 and living with my parents with my toddler until I finish out college in May. My dad has been drinking ever since I can remember, and while he's not as violent as he used to be, he says the worst things he can think of to try and hurt you. He denies drinking even if he's got a beer in his hand. He st...

lookingup · lookingup

Me ,my sister and be all live here together in my house ,with winter coming on I'm concerned about my heating bill going high and ways to cut it so I read about wearing wool hats or taboggens to keep warm and socks of course so I searched eBay for wool hats and my abf said wool was to hot for here so I found one of...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 20 speaks about the sole purpose of Al-Anon as listed in Tradition Five. . That is:"To help the families of alcoholics." . This Tradition goes on to explain how we do this:"By practicing the 12 steps ourselves. We must do this , because we need to lear...

serenity47 · serenity47

Well it has been extremely chaotic around here for the last several months to say the least. Escalating drinking and drug issues with AD. More job losses, evictions, etc etc. Disease is progressing as you all know it does. Terrifying to watch. Every single boundary set was broken. On a somewha...

Natasha9 · Natasha9

Hello everyone, I'm glad to find this space. Since moving to Germany 3 months ago I have no English meetings here, and I became used to going at least once a week for the past year in London. I have been doing well though. But now Christmas is coming, and anxiety is setting in! I am supposed to take my mot...

lookingup · lookingup

Loved one-abf,spending more time in bathroom I know he is useing needles,but my sister is now telling me behind his back that I'm in denial when it comes to him I said no reality has its way of always hitting me in the head,and my illness or addiction is my afb I can't say no to him .my sickness is that I allo...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

In Alanon I keep hearing "keep the focus on you" or "take care of yourself." How do I do that when I have so many chores and responsibilities? I work full time with a 13 and 16 year old , who the latter has some anxiety issues and is now addicted to marijuana because he's self-medic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am really missing my family right now. But I always end up making the move. I have to call or even text sometimes especially this time of year. I decided that my basically unappreciated family will not be receiving gifts from me this year. No one really cares anyway & if they don't show it. Thanks f...

Tampa · Tampa

Now that I have gone from my cute little BMW convertible to a Nissan Pathfinder (and in the meantime inherited two grandchildren) I can stow a get-away bag and have plenty of room. When I had my BMW I couldn't even put both boys in the back like they should be. My seat wouldn't allow for both car seats to fit...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 19 speaks about alcoholism being a threefold disease. It affects the person in a physical, emotional and spiritual manner. Because we have been affected by someone else's alcoholism it is so very important that we check on our own physical, emotional and spiritua...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been so looking forward to my Christmas break,all of my work is finished for a while. I wanted to enjoy the holidays,instead I am finding myself waffling between depression and despair,ugh!I have made attempts at finding Holiday Cheer,but it just isn't there.I usually enjoy the holidays and...

ShellyM · ShellyM

Earlier today I shared that my AH found out about Al Anon and flipped out calling it a cult and ranting on and on. This is not going away, no matter how I detach. In fact, my not engaging in an argument is making him almost desperate and this is escalating quite quickly - I was proud of myself and found it sad...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

I am guilty of not going to meetings, praying, working my program at all lately. I feel into some real stinking thinking... Yesterday, I got the email address of someone in the program.... Today, I got up and read the promises and my daily readers.... Courage to change really spoke to me.... I want to ge...

Thorn · Thorn

I am beginning Step One after several months of F-F meetings, reading Al-Anon literature and listening to all of you. Happily, I am much better off that I was months back, becoming much better at not engaging with my AH and AD in senseless arguments and minding my own business. However, there are times...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

After a couple of weeks with good conversations with my qualifier that I do not live with (some yesterday) he sent me a scathing email last night on how yesterday was the anniversary of an action on my part that caused his major depression. After I got the email I called him and told him very calmly that I w...

Mab_green · Mab_green

Hello, I am expecting my second child in a few weeks and I'm starting to feel overcome with anxiety. My husband has been sober for just over a year after completing 3 months of rehab. Things were going really well for us in the spring so we decided to try for another baby... From my perspective, the clo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about trusting HP so that we can find the courage to act upon guidance that we might hear. We cannot sit back and expect HP to do for us all that which we can clearly do for ourselves. We must do our part. The 12 steps help us to distinguish between our responsibilit...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's read in ODAT sheds some light on how I can share our 'experience, strength, and hope' (ESH) at AlAnon meetings. The page suggests that consideration be given so that my share is helpful to others, not just used as an opportunity to air complaints or unhappiness about others. The reading adds...

ShellyM · ShellyM

I had my "Welcome Newcomer" folder in my purse and my husband saw it. Um..wow. He went on a temper tantrum, telling me how Al Anon is a cult based in Scientology and that it won't be long before I am handing over all of my worldly possessions to this "cult" and on and on... But this po...

MCALANON · MCALANON

Long time since I posted. Will cut the story short. My alcoholic son was sober for 4 month. Relapsed and binged again. He's on med for bi polar. I went collect him today from his rented room so he could withdraw safely , if he's officially sober ie hides the relapse, he could be working by end January in a g...

ShellyM · ShellyM

I'll be attending my 1st Al Anon meeting tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should even be asking this, because I am now understanding that this isn't about asking advice it is about me. But what do you do when you do need some direction and feel totally lost about what to do? I have been married for 4 yrs to a man tha...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Snow is falling, school is cancelled, my cold is letting up so I could sleep last night. Got up this morning, shoveled the porch, did the dishes (no apologies for being a morning dish-doer!) and practicing patience trying to watch a show on my Roku box that has to keep reloading every two minutes. I may g...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 17 speaks about the Al-Anon suggestion of praying for those that we feel resentful of. It asks us to consider this because in the beginning, we cannot understand how this can help. The more we persevere in this practice the more we see how effective this tool can be. T...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 16 is a very powerful. It points out that we often think we have to "take care "of everybody and everything because we have no choice. The reading goes on to explain that although we do have responsibilities that we must act upon , we must know that there are man...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am asking for prayers for a fellow member. She is struggling w work issues & conflict w a co worker. She stopped by yesterday & had just gotten a text from me & said it was a God-thing. I have never seen her cry so much. She felt devasted & needed a shoulder. That's how this program works....

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Well thanksgiving proved to be a tipping point for me. I am needing advice on how to check my motives in a few ultimatums I gave him because I feel like in telling him specificallly what he needs to do to keep our family together 'or else' feels like I might be controlling or trying make him do my will. I to...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm really having some problems with staying present and trusting that my higher power has a plan for me. Along with the usual stressors that are a part of the holidays and end of year, I'm still trying to find a job that is a good fit. My old supervisor has agreed to be one of my references and I was surpris...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Axbf moved out of our apt and into the surprise lease he signed this weekend where he was hoping we would continue dating and he could start drinking again. (hopes dashed). Walked in with his friend and started crying. Said, 'This is not what I wanted.' He feels now he made a mistake. How cunning is this d...

zaipiaz · zaipiaz

I'm here to learn. I recently started dating a man who is fifteen years sober. Understandably, AA is a significant portion of his life, but I know very little about it. I do know something about alcoholism. My father's family is just chock full of alcoholics. My mother kept me away from that side of...

Mattie · Mattie

I have a situation where a friend has done something thoughtless, or rather, another in a line of long thoughtless things of the same kind, a kind that assumes a lot of sacrifice on my part and none on hers. This dynamic has been going on for years, but in my unhealthiness I always thought, "I just h...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I left my husband last month. I didn't leave because I didn't love him...I left because I had to. I needed to protect myself financially, legally, and emotionally. He has done some terrible things that have hurt me but I also am trying to practice forgiveness and acknowledge that this disease turn...

PaulF · PaulF

Hi there - it's been a few months since I posted on here. I came to this forum on account of a woman I had met whilst we were both in rehab and the subsequent relationship we had after we left. I have remained sober for nearly 20 months time but she relapsed as soon as she left. Contact was difficult and sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I went on a date .. my very first real date .. with a man no less. It has been nice and the best part is this .. it's nice having someone who will take initiative calls or texts, makes plans and is not waiting for me to do all of the work. In any relationship I have always been the one who has had to do the major...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I've been gone for awhile. Now I'm back. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I found another stash, and I'm not at all surprised by it. I want to leave, but I honestly feel like I can't. It's the holidays, they'll be ruined. I don't have a place to go at the moment. He's going to go to the therapist an...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the possibility in loving detachment- the acceptance that we cannot make changes in other people, putting the energy and focus into care of ourselves rather than an obsession with other people. When I first started attending alanon meetings I woul...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

HI I am a newbie to this forum and so confused. My first qualifier was my Father who found sobriety thru AA when I was a teenager. Fast forward to my adult life. Married 35+ years. My AH quit drinking about 15 years ago (no recovery) but has always suffered with undiagnosed depression and anxiety. After h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Friend not respecting the boundaries I set. (Preview) I have asked many people in my life to not speak negatively of my ex husband and not to offer advice. I have a friend who refuses to do that, saying I need reminders of how terrible things were so I don't go back. I told her it is not helpful in my forgiveness work and dealing with my resentments. I told her...	Bloodshotbetty	14	3559	Dec 24, 2015 by kismetstrand
	My truth (Preview) Facing my truths, owning my part and healing and going forward, That's a lot of hard work and reflection. I am sitting here listening to meditation music on you tube. i am so glad to be out of the crazy and that toxic Environment. I really was close to a An emotional and mental break down. At the hands of a m...	Mirandac	15	787	Dec 24, 2015 by andromeda
	Slowly I am understanding, and it feels really good (Preview) I've posted a few times before, and I am beginning to understand how this works and why it works. I've been to 3 meetings. My entire life I've focused on worrying about (ie: controlling) other people. Finding out that I don't have to do that anymore is such a gift. It isn't easy -- being one way for 47 years...	ShellyM	4	703	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 12-23 (Preview) The CC reading for December 23 speaks about "belonging in Al-Anon. " The Third Tradition suggests that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. If we are not aware of alcoholism in a family member, the reading suggests that we co...	hotrod	1	634	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	I didn't see yesterday turning out like that (Preview) Sorry, I think this is going to be long, but so much has gone on in the last 48 hours or so, I need to get it all out... Bound and determined to not fall into the helplessness and tears of last Christmas, I've prepared myself better this year. My kids - 15, 12, and 10 - are all quite aware of their dad's drinkin...	Mermaid4	5	593	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	My disease is prevalent (Preview) I think it's weird that my boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or, at least, that's how I felt this past weekend. A lot was revealed to me over the weekend and I realized that I have a ton of growth ahead of me! We had a conversation where he basically told me that I try too hard. That I people plea...	andromeda	7	828	Dec 23, 2015 by Jerry F
	Set Boundaries Emotionally Abused (Preview) I am getting tired. I know it is my job to protect my boundaries. The emotional abuse is draining me. I set a boundary and follow through and my ex-A just changes the tactic. I am practicing self-validation just tired.	Truth	7	713	Dec 23, 2015 by Truth
	On a Lighter Side Just for Fun - 12 Steps for the holiday (Preview) The 12 Steps of ChristmasAdmitted we were powerless over Christmas and that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than consumer credit could restore our sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to Santa as we understood him.Made a searching and fea...	tiredtonite	6	758	Dec 23, 2015 by andromeda
	Realizing my husband is never going to stop drinking...needing to stop enabling his behavior after his binging. (Preview) I can't keep excusing his episodes of drinking. I cant protect my sweet children from his crap anymore. So exhausting! He will go a month, sometimes several. Then the flood gate opens and he stays out til 2am and is so intoxicated. Then a fight, then he sulks around for three days repeat, repeat re...	Islander22	4	710	Dec 23, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Dealing with guilt after leaving alcoholic. (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm new here. Please bear with me. I started dating my ex two and a half years ago. She had told me she used to drink a bottle of wine a night during her previous marriage, but since she met me she hadn't felt the need to. Well, in the next few months I was spending more and more time with h...	Seymore	30	7064	Dec 22, 2015 by LinSC
	HP has a mysterious way of working (Preview) So for the past month or so I've been down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself for things I don't have in my relationship. It was consuming my thoughts 24/7. Well, I go for my annual pap and assume everything is fine--it's not. Came back mildly abnormal so now I have to go for a colposcopy/biopsy on Dec 14...	Yankeerose	19	879	Dec 22, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Use of Al-Anon as a diversion tactic?? (Preview) Hi, there! :) I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this... I am a chemically dependent person with four years of sobriety, currently (yahoo!). I'm one of three children; my two sisters and I are grown now (in our 30's), but we were raised by two alcoholic parents. Our father is deceased,...	Stizzle	7	719	Dec 22, 2015 by Jazzie18
	ho hum (Preview) Sad again... I wish I was on a beach in CA...soaking up the sun. Don't get me wrong...I love it up here in the snow... there is a peacefulness...& time of reflection. This time of year I just have to wing it...smile & suck it up! So now that I have exhausted myself I will wrap myself w love & gent...	Hoot Nanny	2	525	Dec 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Dec 22 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the place that prayer holds in meetings and in program, and how some may be turned away if not religious or no longer religious. Personally, although i have had various degrees of participation in my particular religion, I have always felt comfort...	yanksfan51	3	588	Dec 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	It is what it is (Preview) So last night was supposed to be my Christmas with my ABF as I am leave tonight to go see my family back east, and he is leaving on Christmas to see his for 2 weeks. We were supposed to go get dinner and look at Christmas lights around town. He went out to a party the night before and stayed out all night and day....	ItsAllAboutMeMC	4	551	Dec 22, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Finally did it! (Preview) I graduated on Friday, December 18th with a degree in nursing and can't believe I made it through my full time program as a full-time single Mother raising my two girls while holding down a part-time job. I still need to work on my confidence even after achieving all that I have, but I am darn proud that I s...	Breakingfree	17	934	Dec 22, 2015 by Yankeerose
	I miss him. (Preview) My paternal family is full of alcoholics. My dad was a "dry drunk", which is a term I heard tossed about when I was young but I didn't fully appreciate the implications. My first serious adult relationship was with an alcoholic. A decade later, as I stand ready to face another holiday alo...	zaipiaz	6	798	Dec 22, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Found my Christmas present (Preview) In a box in the closet - a luxurious pair of leather gloves, some pepper jelly for my stocking, and bunch of mini bottles of vodka. That's just what he hasn't had time to stash in the trash I'm sure, and he's drinking beer all day long out in the open. I know Christmas is a trigger for him - it is for most peo...	Mermaid4	2	674	Dec 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Away for the holidays (Preview) I'm having a hard time coming to terms that I will not be with my ABF for the holidays. I will be with my family out of state and he with his. This is going to be the first time we have been away from each other for more then a few days. Holidays have always been about family and being with the ones you love the mos...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	1	563	Dec 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change reading 12-21 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 21 talks about the eighth and ninth step. These discuss making a list of people we've harmed and making amends This reading suggests that we place ourselves at the top of that list of people we have harmed and proceed to make amends to ourselves. . The reading goes on...	hotrod	1	805	Dec 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thanks,to everyone here (Preview) Don't know what I'd do without this board to come to,especially all of you for your esh and listening to me while I vent ,I feel like I'm complaining a lot I dunno,you all are all I've really got to share my feelings with and feel validated.im gonna have to do online meetings looks like cause I have night bl...	lookingup	1	521	Dec 21, 2015 by milkwood
	LOL....I know the answer to that one... (Preview) We had an early gift for the kids opening event with family last evening and it was fun with decadent foods yuuuuuum. It got to the "open an early Christmas gift for the kids part" and one of our great grands got a doctors bag with all the toy stuff that lit up and blinked and unscrewed and such. O...	Jerry F	4	702	Dec 21, 2015 by milkwood
	Hurt and feeling hopeless (Preview) I don't drink almost ever. I did as a teen but do not enjoy being out of control or feeling sick and useless the next day. My parents were big drinkers one still is the other stopped for health reasons. My husband and his uncle are and his father was alcoholic. His father joined AA and stopped drinking his u...	Monkeylostinlove	3	784	Dec 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Is he an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi. New here and not sure. We have been married 20 years. He has been drinkng almost daily for the past 8 years and daily for the past 3 years at least. He drinks 1.75l of wishkey every 5 - 6 days. I did a number of on-line quizzes and tests pretending I was him and based on what I know about him. Base...	petey49	4	689	Dec 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Drunk dad (Preview) Hey all, I'm 25 and living with my parents with my toddler until I finish out college in May. My dad has been drinking ever since I can remember, and while he's not as violent as he used to be, he says the worst things he can think of to try and hurt you. He denies drinking even if he's got a beer in his hand. He st...	LabileLucy	7	804	Dec 21, 2015 by missmeliss
	Am I crazy (Preview) Me ,my sister and be all live here together in my house ,with winter coming on I'm concerned about my heating bill going high and ways to cut it so I read about wearing wool hats or taboggens to keep warm and socks of course so I searched eBay for wool hats and my abf said wool was to hot for here so I found one of...	lookingup	3	720	Dec 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change 12-20 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 20 speaks about the sole purpose of Al-Anon as listed in Tradition Five. . That is:"To help the families of alcoholics." . This Tradition goes on to explain how we do this:"By practicing the 12 steps ourselves. We must do this , because we need to lear...	hotrod	1	701	Dec 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Family divided (Preview) Well it has been extremely chaotic around here for the last several months to say the least. Escalating drinking and drug issues with AD. More job losses, evictions, etc etc. Disease is progressing as you all know it does. Terrifying to watch. Every single boundary set was broken. On a somewha...	serenity47	9	912	Dec 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	dealing with the denial of other family denial family christmas pressure (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm glad to find this space. Since moving to Germany 3 months ago I have no English meetings here, and I became used to going at least once a week for the past year in London. I have been doing well though. But now Christmas is coming, and anxiety is setting in! I am supposed to take my mot...	Natasha9	4	4243	Dec 20, 2015 by Natasha9
	This has to be quick. (Preview) Loved one-abf,spending more time in bathroom I know he is useing needles,but my sister is now telling me behind his back that I'm in denial when it comes to him I said no reality has its way of always hitting me in the head,and my illness or addiction is my afb I can't say no to him .my sickness is that I allo...	lookingup	3	712	Dec 20, 2015 by maryjane
	How can I focus on me when there are so many things to do? (Preview) In Alanon I keep hearing "keep the focus on you" or "take care of yourself." How do I do that when I have so many chores and responsibilities? I work full time with a 13 and 16 year old , who the latter has some anxiety issues and is now addicted to marijuana because he's self-medic...	Yankeerose	13	807	Dec 19, 2015 by Yankeerose
	i am lonely & sad... (Preview) I am really missing my family right now. But I always end up making the move. I have to call or even text sometimes especially this time of year. I decided that my basically unappreciated family will not be receiving gifts from me this year. No one really cares anyway & if they don't show it. Thanks f...	Hoot Nanny	3	2795	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Went from small BMW Convertable to SUV - yes there is a qualifier tied to this story (Preview) Now that I have gone from my cute little BMW convertible to a Nissan Pathfinder (and in the meantime inherited two grandchildren) I can stow a get-away bag and have plenty of room. When I had my BMW I couldn't even put both boys in the back like they should be. My seat wouldn't allow for both car seats to fit...	Tampa	4	3959	Dec 19, 2015 by Tampa
	Courage to Change Reading 12-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 19 speaks about alcoholism being a threefold disease. It affects the person in a physical, emotional and spiritual manner. Because we have been affected by someone else's alcoholism it is so very important that we check on our own physical, emotional and spiritua...	hotrod	1	584	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Christmas blues (Preview) I have been so looking forward to my Christmas break,all of my work is finished for a while. I wanted to enjoy the holidays,instead I am finding myself waffling between depression and despair,ugh!I have made attempts at finding Holiday Cheer,but it just isn't there.I usually enjoy the holidays and...	mjferg	2	662	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	I'm afraid (Preview) Earlier today I shared that my AH found out about Al Anon and flipped out calling it a cult and ranting on and on. This is not going away, no matter how I detach. In fact, my not engaging in an argument is making him almost desperate and this is escalating quite quickly - I was proud of myself and found it sad...	ShellyM	13	1233	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Starting to work the program again and Courage to Change today's reading (Preview) I am guilty of not going to meetings, praying, working my program at all lately. I feel into some real stinking thinking... Yesterday, I got the email address of someone in the program.... Today, I got up and read the promises and my daily readers.... Courage to change really spoke to me.... I want to ge...	mercedes1959	4	699	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do I stop feeling like a door mat? (Preview) I am beginning Step One after several months of F-F meetings, reading Al-Anon literature and listening to all of you. Happily, I am much better off that I was months back, becoming much better at not engaging with my AH and AD in senseless arguments and minding my own business. However, there are times...	Thorn	7	877	Dec 18, 2015 by maryjane
	Not sure I want to play in the sandbox.... (Preview) After a couple of weeks with good conversations with my qualifier that I do not live with (some yesterday) he sent me a scathing email last night on how yesterday was the anniversary of an action on my part that caused his major depression. After I got the email I called him and told him very calmly that I w...	pjwa12726	14	1007	Dec 18, 2015 by maryjane
	Help! Baby on the way & feeling anxious (Preview) Hello, I am expecting my second child in a few weeks and I'm starting to feel overcome with anxiety. My husband has been sober for just over a year after completing 3 months of rehab. Things were going really well for us in the spring so we decided to try for another baby... From my perspective, the clo...	Mab_green	2	2684	Dec 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 12-18 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about trusting HP so that we can find the courage to act upon guidance that we might hear. We cannot sit back and expect HP to do for us all that which we can clearly do for ourselves. We must do our part. The 12 steps help us to distinguish between our responsibilit...	hotrod	2	717	Dec 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 12-18 What is 'Experience, Strength, and Hope'? (Preview) Today's read in ODAT sheds some light on how I can share our 'experience, strength, and hope' (ESH) at AlAnon meetings. The page suggests that consideration be given so that my share is helpful to others, not just used as an opportunity to air complaints or unhappiness about others. The reading adds...	Enigmatic	3	3592	Dec 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH saw my "Welcome Newcomer" packet and flipped, but Go Me! (Preview) I had my "Welcome Newcomer" folder in my purse and my husband saw it. Um..wow. He went on a temper tantrum, telling me how Al Anon is a cult based in Scientology and that it won't be long before I am handing over all of my worldly possessions to this "cult" and on and on... But this po...	ShellyM	5	799	Dec 18, 2015 by ShellyM
	alcoholic son finally done for my marriage? (Preview) Long time since I posted. Will cut the story short. My alcoholic son was sober for 4 month. Relapsed and binged again. He's on med for bi polar. I went collect him today from his rented room so he could withdraw safely , if he's officially sober ie hides the relapse, he could be working by end January in a g...	MCALANON	3	641	Dec 17, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	New here. Husband cirrhosis an impossible decision to make (Preview) I'll be attending my 1st Al Anon meeting tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should even be asking this, because I am now understanding that this isn't about asking advice it is about me. But what do you do when you do need some direction and feel totally lost about what to do? I have been married for 4 yrs to a man tha...	ShellyM	9	966	Dec 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Snow Beautiful Snow (accept what you can't change?) (Preview) Snow is falling, school is cancelled, my cold is letting up so I could sleep last night. Got up this morning, shoveled the porch, did the dishes (no apologies for being a morning dish-doer!) and practicing patience trying to watch a show on my Roku box that has to keep reloading every two minutes. I may g...	likemyheart	4	654	Dec 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 12-17 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 17 speaks about the Al-Anon suggestion of praying for those that we feel resentful of. It asks us to consider this because in the beginning, we cannot understand how this can help. The more we persevere in this practice the more we see how effective this tool can be. T...	hotrod	2	597	Dec 17, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 12-16 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 16 is a very powerful. It points out that we often think we have to "take care "of everybody and everything because we have no choice. The reading goes on to explain that although we do have responsibilities that we must act upon , we must know that there are man...	hotrod	4	678	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	prayers (Preview) I am asking for prayers for a fellow member. She is struggling w work issues & conflict w a co worker. She stopped by yesterday & had just gotten a text from me & said it was a God-thing. I have never seen her cry so much. She felt devasted & needed a shoulder. That's how this program works....	Hoot Nanny	4	612	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Controlling vs setting boundaries (Preview) Well thanksgiving proved to be a tipping point for me. I am needing advice on how to check my motives in a few ultimatums I gave him because I feel like in telling him specificallly what he needs to do to keep our family together 'or else' feels like I might be controlling or trying make him do my will. I to...	Hopefull15	18	1415	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Making a person my hp (Preview) I'm really having some problems with staying present and trusting that my higher power has a plan for me. Along with the usual stressors that are a part of the holidays and end of year, I'm still trying to find a job that is a good fit. My old supervisor has agreed to be one of my references and I was surpris...	tiredtonite	8	839	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Being happy while the drinker is still drinking (Preview) Axbf moved out of our apt and into the surprise lease he signed this weekend where he was hoping we would continue dating and he could start drinking again. (hopes dashed). Walked in with his friend and started crying. Said, 'This is not what I wanted.' He feels now he made a mistake. How cunning is this d...	giraffe13	5	690	Dec 16, 2015 by giraffe13
	Looking to Learn (Preview) I'm here to learn. I recently started dating a man who is fifteen years sober. Understandably, AA is a significant portion of his life, but I know very little about it. I do know something about alcoholism. My father's family is just chock full of alcoholics. My mother kept me away from that side of...	zaipiaz	4	751	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	How to "not say it mean"... (Preview) I have a situation where a friend has done something thoughtless, or rather, another in a line of long thoughtless things of the same kind, a kind that assumes a lot of sacrifice on my part and none on hers. This dynamic has been going on for years, but in my unhealthiness I always thought, "I just h...	Mattie	4	828	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	What I am struggling with today... (Preview) I left my husband last month. I didn't leave because I didn't love him...I left because I had to. I needed to protect myself financially, legally, and emotionally. He has done some terrible things that have hurt me but I also am trying to practice forgiveness and acknowledge that this disease turn...	Bloodshotbetty	7	766	Dec 16, 2015 by Iamhere
	Death of the alcoholic (Preview) Hi there - it's been a few months since I posted on here. I came to this forum on account of a woman I had met whilst we were both in rehab and the subsequent relationship we had after we left. I have remained sober for nearly 20 months time but she relapsed as soon as she left. Contact was difficult and sp...	PaulF	8	961	Dec 16, 2015 by serenity47
	I did it .. LOL (Preview) I went on a date .. my very first real date .. with a man no less. It has been nice and the best part is this .. it's nice having someone who will take initiative calls or texts, makes plans and is not waiting for me to do all of the work. In any relationship I have always been the one who has had to do the major...	SerenityRUS	12	812	Dec 16, 2015 by missmeliss
	Back, after more than a year (Preview) I've been gone for awhile. Now I'm back. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I found another stash, and I'm not at all surprised by it. I want to leave, but I honestly feel like I can't. It's the holidays, they'll be ruined. I don't have a place to go at the moment. He's going to go to the therapist an...	SpiderArcana	7	802	Dec 16, 2015 by missmeliss
	Hope for Today dec 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the possibility in loving detachment- the acceptance that we cannot make changes in other people, putting the energy and focus into care of ourselves rather than an obsession with other people. When I first started attending alanon meetings I woul...	yanksfan51	6	678	Dec 16, 2015 by yanksfan51
	So confused (Preview) HI I am a newbie to this forum and so confused. My first qualifier was my Father who found sobriety thru AA when I was a teenager. Fast forward to my adult life. Married 35+ years. My AH quit drinking about 15 years ago (no recovery) but has always suffered with undiagnosed depression and anxiety. After h...	pjwa12726	16	994	Dec 15, 2015 by pjwa12726
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.