Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

the first week and half in my new place has had its ups and downs but mostly i was able to solve all my issues. the lanon tools have helped lot. like for overcoming fear, being grateful and first things first when i felt overwhelmed. i did almost get myself in a mess of this old boyfriend who came into my life...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a nightmare I haven't had for a long time about my XS/dad. He was a drug addict (my term script drugs) and a definite alcoholic. Anyway, don't want to bore with the details, I about woke up in a panic attack and literally had to talk myself down because I was shaking so bad. As bad as this is I had to re...

what2do · what2do

Hi, I'm new here. I've been to meetings once or twice over the years and I plan to begin again. My husband of 6 years is an alcoholic. in July began his most recent round of residential treatment and was sober for 4 months. The longest it's ever been. It was wonderful. I mean -- everything I've been waiting...

Irishmama · Irishmama

I've been growing concerned about my husband's increased use of alcohol and smoking. i feel responsible for protecting our children, his parents, my parents, friends etc. i can often just forgive the inappropriate behavior and move on trying to normalize things. But it's becoming increasing...

andromeda · andromeda

Ok, everyone. I just need to pour out my pain for my son so please bear with me. He is really struggling. Every time he comes home from my XAH's house, he seems more emotional and confused and angry. His dad isn't just an alcoholic, he's also very negative and keeps the news on 24/7 and rants and raves a...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

It was the first real boundary I had ever set and stuck by with no hesitation. Coming home from a morning Alanon meeting to find my husband drunk at 10:30 am and my kids home on Christmas break unsettled and uncomfortable after too many times seeing their dad like this, I told him I wanted him to go somewhe...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading 12-26 speaks about having choices. In alanon we learn not to be door mats but to get up off the floor, and make a choice for ourselves. We are not victims and we do have a choice in every situation. We must resist the temptation to blame others but to look to ourselves for my part and see how...

hiraeth · hiraeth

I'm curious about why people stay with alcoholic husbands or wives, especially when they are not in recovery. Why do you stay? I'm not criticising your choice, I'd just like to understand the motives to stay in such a situation. -- Edited by hiraeth on Wednesday 11th of November 2015 01:43:42 AM

atheos · atheos

When I started in Al-Anon, I was in a city where there were many step-focused meetings, and most meetings had a few people who had been in Al-Anon for 5+ years (in some cases, 20+ years). When I came back to Al-Anon, I really wanted to come back to that, but... In the city I am in now, there are a lot of "g...

Musicmama · Musicmama

Christmas was a dramatic affair, as all our son's visits are. He doesn't drink while he's here, that we know of, but his anger has everybody walking on eggshells to avoid his wrath. 'Nobody does anything right. His kids won't behave and it's our fault. We don't love him as much as we love our other son, wh...

hastingsmum · hastingsmum

So a quick recap of my situation is that my 3 children's dad is addicted to drugs (heroin) and has been for years now. He has been to rehab for 6 months, various shorter stints and tried to detox at home himself numerous times... Needless to say none of it has worked. He used to have contact with his childr...

release_me · release_me

I have passive-aggressive tendencies but it's been building and building, this watching my Mom's symptoms of alcoholism present themselves again for the past I-don't-even-know how many months. I have no "evidence" other than my gut, her behavior, the way her speech looks, her eyes...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...

Mattie · Mattie

Although my ex-AH never went into longterm recovery, he is a binge drinker, so generally I don't have to deal with his drinking. He goes long periods between binges, and during the binges he just doesn't surface, so the drinking isn't in my face. We have to see each other because of our child, but he ha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This slogan seems to be a love it or hate it type deal; personally I love it. Over time, others have expressed quite validly that to them it feels like continuing behaving in a disingenuous manner, a behavior they are trying to break away from. So I thought I'd express how it worked for me (and still work...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well im 44 yo and in the process of divorcing my ah of 17 yrs. Im currently in a guest bedroom at my parents home on christmas eve. I am living with friends but decided they shoukd have family time i graciously agreed to.let my ah have our daughter for christmas eve and the next mirning as he has been going to...

annief · annief

Hi, this is my first post here. Thanks so much for listening (reading). I have been in Al-Anon for a little over four years and it's done wonderful things for me. My primary qualifier is my ex (thank God!) AH. I have just recently decided to wade into dating again, for reasons that I am really not sure o...

Lyne · Lyne

Merry XMas to all~I have agreed to have dinner with several family members including my older brother who abused me for most of my childhood. I know I have a choice-never see him and eventually go to his funeral (if he goes first), or try a couple times a year to bring my broken family together. I am prac...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Hope this turns out....Christmas Eve Moon over Hilo as seen from our front living room window...It is a blessed sight tonight considering the months of rain clouds we have been covered with. Mahalo Akua (HP) for the blessings and Mahalo MIP for the love and support have a blessed and merry christmas

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a simple hello & Christmas wishes to all of my MIP family. I am so grateful for a beautiful white holiday. Love you all!

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

being a recovering panic disorder person and on my own,has led me to alot of fear but yesterday i took the bus 1/2 mile to a big lots,bought too much and managed to walk all the way home. 1 month ago,would have not tried it alone..... more concern to me today is that an old boyfriend has come back into my life...

lookingup · lookingup

It's bad enough growing up in a alcoholic home ,my sister moved in with me so it's me my sister and my a fb stays here a lot,my sister has nothing good to say about our growing up in front of others all my siblings are like that, very imbarressing when everytime I bring up something good about our growing up w...

LinSC · LinSC

thank you for the year of great posts, Merry Christmas to all....

missmeliss · missmeliss

It always start out so simple and progresses into such an unholy nightmare. Long story short, I agreed that after driving 3ish hours (with ABF) to lunch with my family I would drive with ABF to his home town a further 3 hours away for a big family get together. He's been so nice all year ad it is important to...

hotrod · hotrod

I will be going out of town shortly and will not be back until late Christmas Day so I have posted two days C2C readings today.Have a lovely Holiday celebration. The C2C reading for December 24 speaks about losing the focus on ourselves and constantly being in crisis mode by helping others....

andromeda · andromeda

I am seriously wracked with fear right now. I was talking to a friend expressing these fears (non-program friend) and they told me that maybe the fear is trying to tell me something and that there's a lesson to be learned. Yeah, well I get that, but I am so done with living with active alcoholism that I a...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I have asked many people in my life to not speak negatively of my ex husband and not to offer advice. I have a friend who refuses to do that, saying I need reminders of how terrible things were so I don't go back. I told her it is not helpful in my forgiveness work and dealing with my resentments. I told her...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Facing my truths, owning my part and healing and going forward, That's a lot of hard work and reflection. I am sitting here listening to meditation music on you tube. i am so glad to be out of the crazy and that toxic Environment. I really was close to a An emotional and mental break down. At the hands of a m...

ShellyM · ShellyM

I've posted a few times before, and I am beginning to understand how this works and why it works. I've been to 3 meetings. My entire life I've focused on worrying about (ie: controlling) other people. Finding out that I don't have to do that anymore is such a gift. It isn't easy -- being one way for 47 years...

hotrod · hotrod

The CC reading for December 23 speaks about "belonging in Al-Anon. " The Third Tradition suggests that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. If we are not aware of alcoholism in a family member, the reading suggests that we co...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

Sorry, I think this is going to be long, but so much has gone on in the last 48 hours or so, I need to get it all out... Bound and determined to not fall into the helplessness and tears of last Christmas, I've prepared myself better this year. My kids - 15, 12, and 10 - are all quite aware of their dad's drinkin...

andromeda · andromeda

I think it's weird that my boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or, at least, that's how I felt this past weekend. A lot was revealed to me over the weekend and I realized that I have a ton of growth ahead of me! We had a conversation where he basically told me that I try too hard. That I people plea...

Truth · Truth

I am getting tired. I know it is my job to protect my boundaries. The emotional abuse is draining me. I set a boundary and follow through and my ex-A just changes the tactic. I am practicing self-validation just tired.

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

The 12 Steps of ChristmasAdmitted we were powerless over Christmas and that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than consumer credit could restore our sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to Santa as we understood him.Made a searching and fea...

Islander22 · Islander22

I can't keep excusing his episodes of drinking. I cant protect my sweet children from his crap anymore. So exhausting! He will go a month, sometimes several. Then the flood gate opens and he stays out til 2am and is so intoxicated. Then a fight, then he sulks around for three days repeat, repeat re...

Seymore · Seymore

Hello everyone. I'm new here. Please bear with me. I started dating my ex two and a half years ago. She had told me she used to drink a bottle of wine a night during her previous marriage, but since she met me she hadn't felt the need to. Well, in the next few months I was spending more and more time with h...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

So for the past month or so I've been down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself for things I don't have in my relationship. It was consuming my thoughts 24/7. Well, I go for my annual pap and assume everything is fine--it's not. Came back mildly abnormal so now I have to go for a colposcopy/biopsy on Dec 14...

Stizzle · Stizzle

Hi, there! :) I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this... I am a chemically dependent person with four years of sobriety, currently (yahoo!). I'm one of three children; my two sisters and I are grown now (in our 30's), but we were raised by two alcoholic parents. Our father is deceased,...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sad again... I wish I was on a beach in CA...soaking up the sun. Don't get me wrong...I love it up here in the snow... there is a peacefulness...& time of reflection. This time of year I just have to wing it...smile & suck it up! So now that I have exhausted myself I will wrap myself w love & gent...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the place that prayer holds in meetings and in program, and how some may be turned away if not religious or no longer religious. Personally, although i have had various degrees of participation in my particular religion, I have always felt comfort...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So last night was supposed to be my Christmas with my ABF as I am leave tonight to go see my family back east, and he is leaving on Christmas to see his for 2 weeks. We were supposed to go get dinner and look at Christmas lights around town. He went out to a party the night before and stayed out all night and day....

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I graduated on Friday, December 18th with a degree in nursing and can't believe I made it through my full time program as a full-time single Mother raising my two girls while holding down a part-time job. I still need to work on my confidence even after achieving all that I have, but I am darn proud that I s...

zaipiaz · zaipiaz

My paternal family is full of alcoholics. My dad was a "dry drunk", which is a term I heard tossed about when I was young but I didn't fully appreciate the implications. My first serious adult relationship was with an alcoholic. A decade later, as I stand ready to face another holiday alo...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

In a box in the closet - a luxurious pair of leather gloves, some pepper jelly for my stocking, and bunch of mini bottles of vodka. That's just what he hasn't had time to stash in the trash I'm sure, and he's drinking beer all day long out in the open. I know Christmas is a trigger for him - it is for most peo...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I'm having a hard time coming to terms that I will not be with my ABF for the holidays. I will be with my family out of state and he with his. This is going to be the first time we have been away from each other for more then a few days. Holidays have always been about family and being with the ones you love the mos...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 21 talks about the eighth and ninth step. These discuss making a list of people we've harmed and making amends This reading suggests that we place ourselves at the top of that list of people we have harmed and proceed to make amends to ourselves. . The reading goes on...

lookingup · lookingup

Don't know what I'd do without this board to come to,especially all of you for your esh and listening to me while I vent ,I feel like I'm complaining a lot I dunno,you all are all I've really got to share my feelings with and feel validated.im gonna have to do online meetings looks like cause I have night bl...

Jerry F · Jerry F

We had an early gift for the kids opening event with family last evening and it was fun with decadent foods yuuuuuum. It got to the "open an early Christmas gift for the kids part" and one of our great grands got a doctors bag with all the toy stuff that lit up and blinked and unscrewed and such. O...

Monkeylostinlove · Monkeylostinlove

I don't drink almost ever. I did as a teen but do not enjoy being out of control or feeling sick and useless the next day. My parents were big drinkers one still is the other stopped for health reasons. My husband and his uncle are and his father was alcoholic. His father joined AA and stopped drinking his u...

petey49 · petey49

Hi. New here and not sure. We have been married 20 years. He has been drinkng almost daily for the past 8 years and daily for the past 3 years at least. He drinks 1.75l of wishkey every 5 - 6 days. I did a number of on-line quizzes and tests pretending I was him and based on what I know about him. Base...

LabileLucy · LabileLucy

Hey all, I'm 25 and living with my parents with my toddler until I finish out college in May. My dad has been drinking ever since I can remember, and while he's not as violent as he used to be, he says the worst things he can think of to try and hurt you. He denies drinking even if he's got a beer in his hand. He st...

lookingup · lookingup

Me ,my sister and be all live here together in my house ,with winter coming on I'm concerned about my heating bill going high and ways to cut it so I read about wearing wool hats or taboggens to keep warm and socks of course so I searched eBay for wool hats and my abf said wool was to hot for here so I found one of...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 20 speaks about the sole purpose of Al-Anon as listed in Tradition Five. . That is:"To help the families of alcoholics." . This Tradition goes on to explain how we do this:"By practicing the 12 steps ourselves. We must do this , because we need to lear...

serenity47 · serenity47

Well it has been extremely chaotic around here for the last several months to say the least. Escalating drinking and drug issues with AD. More job losses, evictions, etc etc. Disease is progressing as you all know it does. Terrifying to watch. Every single boundary set was broken. On a somewha...

Natasha9 · Natasha9

Hello everyone, I'm glad to find this space. Since moving to Germany 3 months ago I have no English meetings here, and I became used to going at least once a week for the past year in London. I have been doing well though. But now Christmas is coming, and anxiety is setting in! I am supposed to take my mot...

lookingup · lookingup

Loved one-abf,spending more time in bathroom I know he is useing needles,but my sister is now telling me behind his back that I'm in denial when it comes to him I said no reality has its way of always hitting me in the head,and my illness or addiction is my afb I can't say no to him .my sickness is that I allo...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

In Alanon I keep hearing "keep the focus on you" or "take care of yourself." How do I do that when I have so many chores and responsibilities? I work full time with a 13 and 16 year old , who the latter has some anxiety issues and is now addicted to marijuana because he's self-medic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am really missing my family right now. But I always end up making the move. I have to call or even text sometimes especially this time of year. I decided that my basically unappreciated family will not be receiving gifts from me this year. No one really cares anyway & if they don't show it. Thanks f...

Tampa · Tampa

Now that I have gone from my cute little BMW convertible to a Nissan Pathfinder (and in the meantime inherited two grandchildren) I can stow a get-away bag and have plenty of room. When I had my BMW I couldn't even put both boys in the back like they should be. My seat wouldn't allow for both car seats to fit...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 19 speaks about alcoholism being a threefold disease. It affects the person in a physical, emotional and spiritual manner. Because we have been affected by someone else's alcoholism it is so very important that we check on our own physical, emotional and spiritua...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	checking in (Preview) the first week and half in my new place has had its ups and downs but mostly i was able to solve all my issues. the lanon tools have helped lot. like for overcoming fear, being grateful and first things first when i felt overwhelmed. i did almost get myself in a mess of this old boyfriend who came into my life...	YARNCRAZY	6	522	Dec 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Rough night last night .. (Preview) I had a nightmare I haven't had for a long time about my XS/dad. He was a drug addict (my term script drugs) and a definite alcoholic. Anyway, don't want to bore with the details, I about woke up in a panic attack and literally had to talk myself down because I was shaking so bad. As bad as this is I had to re...	SerenityRUS	4	736	Dec 27, 2015 by pinkchip
	I feel stuck... (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. I've been to meetings once or twice over the years and I plan to begin again. My husband of 6 years is an alcoholic. in July began his most recent round of residential treatment and was sober for 4 months. The longest it's ever been. It was wonderful. I mean -- everything I've been waiting...	what2do	5	611	Dec 27, 2015 by Mirandac
	I'm new to this...and a little nervous (Preview) I've been growing concerned about my husband's increased use of alcohol and smoking. i feel responsible for protecting our children, his parents, my parents, friends etc. i can often just forgive the inappropriate behavior and move on trying to normalize things. But it's becoming increasing...	Irishmama	5	480	Dec 27, 2015 by Mermaid4
	Son feels responsible (Preview) Ok, everyone. I just need to pour out my pain for my son so please bear with me. He is really struggling. Every time he comes home from my XAH's house, he seems more emotional and confused and angry. His dad isn't just an alcoholic, he's also very negative and keeps the news on 24/7 and rants and raves a...	andromeda	5	692	Dec 27, 2015 by andromeda
	After the kids and I left for a hotel 3 days before Christmas (Preview) It was the first real boundary I had ever set and stuck by with no hesitation. Coming home from a morning Alanon meeting to find my husband drunk at 10:30 am and my kids home on Christmas break unsettled and uncomfortable after too many times seeing their dad like this, I told him I wanted him to go somewhe...	Mermaid4	1	410	Dec 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 12-26 (Preview) C2C reading 12-26 speaks about having choices. In alanon we learn not to be door mats but to get up off the floor, and make a choice for ourselves. We are not victims and we do have a choice in every situation. We must resist the temptation to blame others but to look to ourselves for my part and see how...	hotrod	3	628	Dec 27, 2015 by flinn66
	what are the reasons to stay? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I'm curious about why people stay with alcoholic husbands or wives, especially when they are not in recovery. Why do you stay? I'm not criticising your choice, I'd just like to understand the motives to stay in such a situation. -- Edited by hiraeth on Wednesday 11th of November 2015 01:43:42 AM	hiraeth	40	1698	Dec 26, 2015 by HopeForJoy
	Always something new to learn (open AA meetings) (Preview) When I started in Al-Anon, I was in a city where there were many step-focused meetings, and most meetings had a few people who had been in Al-Anon for 5+ years (in some cases, 20+ years). When I came back to Al-Anon, I really wanted to come back to that, but... In the city I am in now, there are a lot of "g...	atheos	7	2111	Dec 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Our alcoholic son (Preview) Christmas was a dramatic affair, as all our son's visits are. He doesn't drink while he's here, that we know of, but his anger has everybody walking on eggshells to avoid his wrath. 'Nobody does anything right. His kids won't behave and it's our fault. We don't love him as much as we love our other son, wh...	Musicmama	2	478	Dec 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do we go on from here? (Preview) So a quick recap of my situation is that my 3 children's dad is addicted to drugs (heroin) and has been for years now. He has been to rehab for 6 months, various shorter stints and tried to detox at home himself numerous times... Needless to say none of it has worked. He used to have contact with his childr...	hastingsmum	3	581	Dec 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	Ready to learn how to dis-enable (Preview) I have passive-aggressive tendencies but it's been building and building, this watching my Mom's symptoms of alcoholism present themselves again for the past I-don't-even-know how many months. I have no "evidence" other than my gut, her behavior, the way her speech looks, her eyes...	release_me	4	717	Dec 26, 2015 by maryjane
	Donation Light is lite again, please contribute. (Preview) Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...	John	1	378	Dec 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Holiday argh (Preview) Although my ex-AH never went into longterm recovery, he is a binge drinker, so generally I don't have to deal with his drinking. He goes long periods between binges, and during the binges he just doesn't surface, so the drinking isn't in my face. We have to see each other because of our child, but he ha...	Mattie	10	784	Dec 26, 2015 by Mattie
	Fake it till you make it. (Preview) This slogan seems to be a love it or hate it type deal; personally I love it. Over time, others have expressed quite validly that to them it feels like continuing behaving in a disingenuous manner, a behavior they are trying to break away from. So I thought I'd express how it worked for me (and still work...	missmeliss	5	1172	Dec 26, 2015 by OceanTide
	a christmas first (Preview) Well im 44 yo and in the process of divorcing my ah of 17 yrs. Im currently in a guest bedroom at my parents home on christmas eve. I am living with friends but decided they shoukd have family time i graciously agreed to.let my ah have our daughter for christmas eve and the next mirning as he has been going to...	Theoceancalls	3	637	Dec 26, 2015 by maryjane
	Cruel "friend" who gives me advice on how to live my life. Is it abuse? (Preview) Hi, this is my first post here. Thanks so much for listening (reading). I have been in Al-Anon for a little over four years and it's done wonderful things for me. My primary qualifier is my ex (thank God!) AH. I have just recently decided to wade into dating again, for reasons that I am really not sure o...	annief	6	731	Dec 26, 2015 by annief
	Tricky XMas dinner (Preview) Merry XMas to all~I have agreed to have dinner with several family members including my older brother who abused me for most of my childhood. I know I have a choice-never see him and eventually go to his funeral (if he goes first), or try a couple times a year to bring my broken family together. I am prac...	Lyne	4	609	Dec 26, 2015 by Lyne
	Shine on (Preview) Hope this turns out....Christmas Eve Moon over Hilo as seen from our front living room window...It is a blessed sight tonight considering the months of rain clouds we have been covered with. Mahalo Akua (HP) for the blessings and Mahalo MIP for the love and support have a blessed and merry christmas	Jerry F	5	570	Dec 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	merry Christmas (Preview) Just a simple hello & Christmas wishes to all of my MIP family. I am so grateful for a beautiful white holiday. Love you all!	Hoot Nanny	1	333	Dec 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	shaky steps (Preview) being a recovering panic disorder person and on my own,has led me to alot of fear but yesterday i took the bus 1/2 mile to a big lots,bought too much and managed to walk all the way home. 1 month ago,would have not tried it alone..... more concern to me today is that an old boyfriend has come back into my life...	YARNCRAZY	4	642	Dec 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Family name (Preview) It's bad enough growing up in a alcoholic home ,my sister moved in with me so it's me my sister and my a fb stays here a lot,my sister has nothing good to say about our growing up in front of others all my siblings are like that, very imbarressing when everytime I bring up something good about our growing up w...	lookingup	0	387	Dec 25, 2015 by lookingup
	Merry Christmas (Preview) thank you for the year of great posts, Merry Christmas to all....	LinSC	9	569	Dec 25, 2015 by Mirandac
	Tis The Season For Wishing It Wasn't, Falalalala Oh Please God Why. (Preview) It always start out so simple and progresses into such an unholy nightmare. Long story short, I agreed that after driving 3ish hours (with ABF) to lunch with my family I would drive with ABF to his home town a further 3 hours away for a big family get together. He's been so nice all year ad it is important to...	missmeliss	17	767	Dec 25, 2015 by likemyheart
	Courage to Change Reading for 12-24 and 12-25 (Preview) I will be going out of town shortly and will not be back until late Christmas Day so I have posted two days C2C readings today.Have a lovely Holiday celebration. The C2C reading for December 24 speaks about losing the focus on ourselves and constantly being in crisis mode by helping others....	hotrod	6	2132	Dec 25, 2015 by Debb
	Fear (Preview) I am seriously wracked with fear right now. I was talking to a friend expressing these fears (non-program friend) and they told me that maybe the fear is trying to tell me something and that there's a lesson to be learned. Yeah, well I get that, but I am so done with living with active alcoholism that I a...	andromeda	26	981	Dec 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Friend not respecting the boundaries I set. (Preview) I have asked many people in my life to not speak negatively of my ex husband and not to offer advice. I have a friend who refuses to do that, saying I need reminders of how terrible things were so I don't go back. I told her it is not helpful in my forgiveness work and dealing with my resentments. I told her...	Bloodshotbetty	14	3142	Dec 24, 2015 by kismetstrand
	My truth (Preview) Facing my truths, owning my part and healing and going forward, That's a lot of hard work and reflection. I am sitting here listening to meditation music on you tube. i am so glad to be out of the crazy and that toxic Environment. I really was close to a An emotional and mental break down. At the hands of a m...	Mirandac	15	646	Dec 24, 2015 by andromeda
	Slowly I am understanding, and it feels really good (Preview) I've posted a few times before, and I am beginning to understand how this works and why it works. I've been to 3 meetings. My entire life I've focused on worrying about (ie: controlling) other people. Finding out that I don't have to do that anymore is such a gift. It isn't easy -- being one way for 47 years...	ShellyM	4	573	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 12-23 (Preview) The CC reading for December 23 speaks about "belonging in Al-Anon. " The Third Tradition suggests that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. If we are not aware of alcoholism in a family member, the reading suggests that we co...	hotrod	1	500	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	I didn't see yesterday turning out like that (Preview) Sorry, I think this is going to be long, but so much has gone on in the last 48 hours or so, I need to get it all out... Bound and determined to not fall into the helplessness and tears of last Christmas, I've prepared myself better this year. My kids - 15, 12, and 10 - are all quite aware of their dad's drinkin...	Mermaid4	5	470	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	My disease is prevalent (Preview) I think it's weird that my boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or, at least, that's how I felt this past weekend. A lot was revealed to me over the weekend and I realized that I have a ton of growth ahead of me! We had a conversation where he basically told me that I try too hard. That I people plea...	andromeda	7	694	Dec 23, 2015 by Jerry F
	Set Boundaries Emotionally Abused (Preview) I am getting tired. I know it is my job to protect my boundaries. The emotional abuse is draining me. I set a boundary and follow through and my ex-A just changes the tactic. I am practicing self-validation just tired.	Truth	7	574	Dec 23, 2015 by Truth
	On a Lighter Side Just for Fun - 12 Steps for the holiday (Preview) The 12 Steps of ChristmasAdmitted we were powerless over Christmas and that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than consumer credit could restore our sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to Santa as we understood him.Made a searching and fea...	tiredtonite	6	633	Dec 23, 2015 by andromeda
	Realizing my husband is never going to stop drinking...needing to stop enabling his behavior after his binging. (Preview) I can't keep excusing his episodes of drinking. I cant protect my sweet children from his crap anymore. So exhausting! He will go a month, sometimes several. Then the flood gate opens and he stays out til 2am and is so intoxicated. Then a fight, then he sulks around for three days repeat, repeat re...	Islander22	4	605	Dec 23, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Dealing with guilt after leaving alcoholic. (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm new here. Please bear with me. I started dating my ex two and a half years ago. She had told me she used to drink a bottle of wine a night during her previous marriage, but since she met me she hadn't felt the need to. Well, in the next few months I was spending more and more time with h...	Seymore	30	6285	Dec 22, 2015 by LinSC
	HP has a mysterious way of working (Preview) So for the past month or so I've been down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself for things I don't have in my relationship. It was consuming my thoughts 24/7. Well, I go for my annual pap and assume everything is fine--it's not. Came back mildly abnormal so now I have to go for a colposcopy/biopsy on Dec 14...	Yankeerose	19	747	Dec 22, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Use of Al-Anon as a diversion tactic?? (Preview) Hi, there! :) I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this... I am a chemically dependent person with four years of sobriety, currently (yahoo!). I'm one of three children; my two sisters and I are grown now (in our 30's), but we were raised by two alcoholic parents. Our father is deceased,...	Stizzle	7	577	Dec 22, 2015 by Jazzie18
	ho hum (Preview) Sad again... I wish I was on a beach in CA...soaking up the sun. Don't get me wrong...I love it up here in the snow... there is a peacefulness...& time of reflection. This time of year I just have to wing it...smile & suck it up! So now that I have exhausted myself I will wrap myself w love & gent...	Hoot Nanny	2	399	Dec 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Dec 22 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the place that prayer holds in meetings and in program, and how some may be turned away if not religious or no longer religious. Personally, although i have had various degrees of participation in my particular religion, I have always felt comfort...	yanksfan51	3	468	Dec 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	It is what it is (Preview) So last night was supposed to be my Christmas with my ABF as I am leave tonight to go see my family back east, and he is leaving on Christmas to see his for 2 weeks. We were supposed to go get dinner and look at Christmas lights around town. He went out to a party the night before and stayed out all night and day....	ItsAllAboutMeMC	4	436	Dec 22, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Finally did it! (Preview) I graduated on Friday, December 18th with a degree in nursing and can't believe I made it through my full time program as a full-time single Mother raising my two girls while holding down a part-time job. I still need to work on my confidence even after achieving all that I have, but I am darn proud that I s...	Breakingfree	17	795	Dec 22, 2015 by Yankeerose
	I miss him. (Preview) My paternal family is full of alcoholics. My dad was a "dry drunk", which is a term I heard tossed about when I was young but I didn't fully appreciate the implications. My first serious adult relationship was with an alcoholic. A decade later, as I stand ready to face another holiday alo...	zaipiaz	6	657	Dec 22, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Found my Christmas present (Preview) In a box in the closet - a luxurious pair of leather gloves, some pepper jelly for my stocking, and bunch of mini bottles of vodka. That's just what he hasn't had time to stash in the trash I'm sure, and he's drinking beer all day long out in the open. I know Christmas is a trigger for him - it is for most peo...	Mermaid4	2	533	Dec 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Away for the holidays (Preview) I'm having a hard time coming to terms that I will not be with my ABF for the holidays. I will be with my family out of state and he with his. This is going to be the first time we have been away from each other for more then a few days. Holidays have always been about family and being with the ones you love the mos...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	1	418	Dec 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change reading 12-21 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 21 talks about the eighth and ninth step. These discuss making a list of people we've harmed and making amends This reading suggests that we place ourselves at the top of that list of people we have harmed and proceed to make amends to ourselves. . The reading goes on...	hotrod	1	640	Dec 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thanks,to everyone here (Preview) Don't know what I'd do without this board to come to,especially all of you for your esh and listening to me while I vent ,I feel like I'm complaining a lot I dunno,you all are all I've really got to share my feelings with and feel validated.im gonna have to do online meetings looks like cause I have night bl...	lookingup	1	376	Dec 21, 2015 by milkwood
	LOL....I know the answer to that one... (Preview) We had an early gift for the kids opening event with family last evening and it was fun with decadent foods yuuuuuum. It got to the "open an early Christmas gift for the kids part" and one of our great grands got a doctors bag with all the toy stuff that lit up and blinked and unscrewed and such. O...	Jerry F	4	560	Dec 21, 2015 by milkwood
	Hurt and feeling hopeless (Preview) I don't drink almost ever. I did as a teen but do not enjoy being out of control or feeling sick and useless the next day. My parents were big drinkers one still is the other stopped for health reasons. My husband and his uncle are and his father was alcoholic. His father joined AA and stopped drinking his u...	Monkeylostinlove	3	646	Dec 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Is he an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi. New here and not sure. We have been married 20 years. He has been drinkng almost daily for the past 8 years and daily for the past 3 years at least. He drinks 1.75l of wishkey every 5 - 6 days. I did a number of on-line quizzes and tests pretending I was him and based on what I know about him. Base...	petey49	4	559	Dec 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Drunk dad (Preview) Hey all, I'm 25 and living with my parents with my toddler until I finish out college in May. My dad has been drinking ever since I can remember, and while he's not as violent as he used to be, he says the worst things he can think of to try and hurt you. He denies drinking even if he's got a beer in his hand. He st...	LabileLucy	7	686	Dec 21, 2015 by missmeliss
	Am I crazy (Preview) Me ,my sister and be all live here together in my house ,with winter coming on I'm concerned about my heating bill going high and ways to cut it so I read about wearing wool hats or taboggens to keep warm and socks of course so I searched eBay for wool hats and my abf said wool was to hot for here so I found one of...	lookingup	3	596	Dec 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change 12-20 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 20 speaks about the sole purpose of Al-Anon as listed in Tradition Five. . That is:"To help the families of alcoholics." . This Tradition goes on to explain how we do this:"By practicing the 12 steps ourselves. We must do this , because we need to lear...	hotrod	1	579	Dec 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Family divided (Preview) Well it has been extremely chaotic around here for the last several months to say the least. Escalating drinking and drug issues with AD. More job losses, evictions, etc etc. Disease is progressing as you all know it does. Terrifying to watch. Every single boundary set was broken. On a somewha...	serenity47	9	777	Dec 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	dealing with the denial of other family denial family christmas pressure (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm glad to find this space. Since moving to Germany 3 months ago I have no English meetings here, and I became used to going at least once a week for the past year in London. I have been doing well though. But now Christmas is coming, and anxiety is setting in! I am supposed to take my mot...	Natasha9	4	3678	Dec 20, 2015 by Natasha9
	This has to be quick. (Preview) Loved one-abf,spending more time in bathroom I know he is useing needles,but my sister is now telling me behind his back that I'm in denial when it comes to him I said no reality has its way of always hitting me in the head,and my illness or addiction is my afb I can't say no to him .my sickness is that I allo...	lookingup	3	594	Dec 20, 2015 by maryjane
	How can I focus on me when there are so many things to do? (Preview) In Alanon I keep hearing "keep the focus on you" or "take care of yourself." How do I do that when I have so many chores and responsibilities? I work full time with a 13 and 16 year old , who the latter has some anxiety issues and is now addicted to marijuana because he's self-medic...	Yankeerose	13	665	Dec 19, 2015 by Yankeerose
	i am lonely & sad... (Preview) I am really missing my family right now. But I always end up making the move. I have to call or even text sometimes especially this time of year. I decided that my basically unappreciated family will not be receiving gifts from me this year. No one really cares anyway & if they don't show it. Thanks f...	Hoot Nanny	3	2375	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Went from small BMW Convertable to SUV - yes there is a qualifier tied to this story (Preview) Now that I have gone from my cute little BMW convertible to a Nissan Pathfinder (and in the meantime inherited two grandchildren) I can stow a get-away bag and have plenty of room. When I had my BMW I couldn't even put both boys in the back like they should be. My seat wouldn't allow for both car seats to fit...	Tampa	4	3402	Dec 19, 2015 by Tampa
	Courage to Change Reading 12-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 19 speaks about alcoholism being a threefold disease. It affects the person in a physical, emotional and spiritual manner. Because we have been affected by someone else's alcoholism it is so very important that we check on our own physical, emotional and spiritua...	hotrod	1	463	Dec 19, 2015 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.