Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 12 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwork.active...

flovett270 · flovett270

I recently discovered that my finace's drinking problem stretches out more than just the weekend drinker...I found out he drinks alone mostly..... He says he is "Sick"when ever he really is just drunk or getting over a binge. He has been "sick "about every 4 or 5 weeks. I ju...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Things are not going smoothly at the moment and again boring boring details .. LOL .. I'm so detailed and yet I bore myself at the moment if that's not saying something I don't know what is. I self sabotage at a rate that boggles the mind, .. at the same time thins are not all bad, for that I am grateful. I'm r...

Millop · Millop

Hi all, i have posted once before on MIP and regularly hang out and read ESH from lots of the threads which I find invaluable to my own recovery! Oh gosh I need to share this to get it off my chest! My father and brother who have since passed due to alcohol related illnesses have left such an unhealthy fami...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

Any suggestions, good slogans or quotes for dealing with my AH when he's just being unreasonable? He's been sober for a bit now, but his dry drunk is horrible (practically equal to the drunk guy at times). Just to give an example, our son is being watched this week by visiting relatives (daycare is clos...

joker · joker

I will give background information. I was 25 years old when I met my first husband. It was love at first sight! He physically abused me yet we got married. That lasted 7 months and he left December 1st. Never saw him again. We eventually got divorced. I saw issues with him. He could not hold down a job, and d...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the idea of balance in our lives. The writer realizes that through program work he/she has become more able to be centered in HP's will. The need for control is released and balance is found. We are centered in the gift of serenity. I have just retur...

joker · joker

I have a disabled daughter that is 21 years old living with me. She has physio affective disorder. She stays in her room 24 hours a day and is not able to do anything for herself. I have to be her life line and help her with getting things she needs done. Its really stressful and I monitor her condition as wel...

Debb · Debb

Christmas at my mother and father's was interesting. Mom, by the end of our four hour visit, had polished off a half a bottle of wine and was truly out of control. 25 years ago she and her sister, the last of the siblings in the family, gave me my grandmother's wedding diamond, when she pasted away. I wa...

Daffypuck · Daffypuck

Without being long winded, til later, I have a question or two. My best friends wife, who is my best female friend, is an alcoholic. Before I go into details of why and whatnot, my big question is, what can my friend do legally to force her to get help. Her alcoholism is putting a huge strain on their marria...

JL969803 · JL969803

How do you ever learn to trust again when they have lied and manipulated for so long? Is trust even possible again? My AH says he wants to move forward and has admitted that he needs to get help, but after his last episode my anxiety raises everytime he's away from me. I wonder if he's up to something. I can'...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

caught a cold sunday. guess i was having too much fun lol today, i went through this poor me phase followed by anger followed by being p offed that xah woke me up at 1am to want me to make hotel reservations at a casino so he can drive drunk,got drunker,lose his money and get into more trouble in his unsured c...

atheos · atheos

"Recovery doesn't protect us from life. It enables us to live more fully and deal with life's problems as they arise." - Paths to Recovery I haven't been doing active step work for a few years -- I kind of stalled out after 5. I had some external excuses (moving a lot, didn't have a sponsor in my...

daughter52 · daughter52

I am an adult daughter of an alcoholic. My father was the alcoholic. He passed away 6 years ago. His death was not alcohol related. He was 87 and had other health problems. My mother is now 92 and in a care home. My father stopped drinking 20 years before his death, but he had an addictive personalit...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C 12-28 speaks about sponsorship and how important it is to our recovery. It is here in this relationship that we can learn to trust another and learn to receive love .Watching and experiencing Someone who demonstrates unconditional love and takes care of themselves and offers support wi...

lookingup · lookingup

I find another needle or syringe hidden where I was cleaning at this makes several times I found his syringes put in hideous places ,this morning I threw it at him and he tried to denie it so when I told him what I thought he said he had to do it to put up with my bxxxxing ,everyday I said you kept doing the same o...

JL969803 · JL969803

I am not even sure how to begin. I have an AH of 20 years. I always knew there was a problem, but chose to ignore it and try to make life as normal as possible for the kids. There have been some really, really bad times. Not surprising, things have gotten worse for all of us. His drinking problem has resulted i...

sandollars · sandollars

your friend has depression and anxiety. Clear as day to me. Clinical depression....undiagnosed...or diagnosed but doesn't keep up with the meds he should be taking to help him through it. And massive anxiety but doesn't keep up with same. Doesn't bother to find a good therapist to talk through...

Prayer warrior · Prayer warrior

i spent Christmas with my husband and his daughter and his sister and brother. I grew up in a alcoholic home. Something triggered me at my sister in laws. She had photos of my husbands first wife and photos of his first wedding and no photos of me and my husband. It was weird. I felt uncomfortable. I...

John · John

I haven't been able to post in a very long time. At least 18 months. Not sure why I'm avoiding it. I think its got a little bit to do with my being an empath. That means I feel the pain of others in a deep and literal sense. Between the tremendous amount of pain I sense here, and read in the words you write, a...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C continues to speak about how our attitudes can change, so we can live with serenity and wisdom The reading for today 12-27 speaks about keeping an open mind so that, by listening to the ideas of others and sharing opinions, we can grow in wisdom and see that there are various ways of looking a...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

the first week and half in my new place has had its ups and downs but mostly i was able to solve all my issues. the lanon tools have helped lot. like for overcoming fear, being grateful and first things first when i felt overwhelmed. i did almost get myself in a mess of this old boyfriend who came into my life...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a nightmare I haven't had for a long time about my XS/dad. He was a drug addict (my term script drugs) and a definite alcoholic. Anyway, don't want to bore with the details, I about woke up in a panic attack and literally had to talk myself down because I was shaking so bad. As bad as this is I had to re...

what2do · what2do

Hi, I'm new here. I've been to meetings once or twice over the years and I plan to begin again. My husband of 6 years is an alcoholic. in July began his most recent round of residential treatment and was sober for 4 months. The longest it's ever been. It was wonderful. I mean -- everything I've been waiting...

Irishmama · Irishmama

I've been growing concerned about my husband's increased use of alcohol and smoking. i feel responsible for protecting our children, his parents, my parents, friends etc. i can often just forgive the inappropriate behavior and move on trying to normalize things. But it's becoming increasing...

andromeda · andromeda

Ok, everyone. I just need to pour out my pain for my son so please bear with me. He is really struggling. Every time he comes home from my XAH's house, he seems more emotional and confused and angry. His dad isn't just an alcoholic, he's also very negative and keeps the news on 24/7 and rants and raves a...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

It was the first real boundary I had ever set and stuck by with no hesitation. Coming home from a morning Alanon meeting to find my husband drunk at 10:30 am and my kids home on Christmas break unsettled and uncomfortable after too many times seeing their dad like this, I told him I wanted him to go somewhe...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading 12-26 speaks about having choices. In alanon we learn not to be door mats but to get up off the floor, and make a choice for ourselves. We are not victims and we do have a choice in every situation. We must resist the temptation to blame others but to look to ourselves for my part and see how...

hiraeth · hiraeth

I'm curious about why people stay with alcoholic husbands or wives, especially when they are not in recovery. Why do you stay? I'm not criticising your choice, I'd just like to understand the motives to stay in such a situation. -- Edited by hiraeth on Wednesday 11th of November 2015 01:43:42 AM

atheos · atheos

When I started in Al-Anon, I was in a city where there were many step-focused meetings, and most meetings had a few people who had been in Al-Anon for 5+ years (in some cases, 20+ years). When I came back to Al-Anon, I really wanted to come back to that, but... In the city I am in now, there are a lot of "g...

Musicmama · Musicmama

Christmas was a dramatic affair, as all our son's visits are. He doesn't drink while he's here, that we know of, but his anger has everybody walking on eggshells to avoid his wrath. 'Nobody does anything right. His kids won't behave and it's our fault. We don't love him as much as we love our other son, wh...

hastingsmum · hastingsmum

So a quick recap of my situation is that my 3 children's dad is addicted to drugs (heroin) and has been for years now. He has been to rehab for 6 months, various shorter stints and tried to detox at home himself numerous times... Needless to say none of it has worked. He used to have contact with his childr...

release_me · release_me

I have passive-aggressive tendencies but it's been building and building, this watching my Mom's symptoms of alcoholism present themselves again for the past I-don't-even-know how many months. I have no "evidence" other than my gut, her behavior, the way her speech looks, her eyes...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...

Mattie · Mattie

Although my ex-AH never went into longterm recovery, he is a binge drinker, so generally I don't have to deal with his drinking. He goes long periods between binges, and during the binges he just doesn't surface, so the drinking isn't in my face. We have to see each other because of our child, but he ha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This slogan seems to be a love it or hate it type deal; personally I love it. Over time, others have expressed quite validly that to them it feels like continuing behaving in a disingenuous manner, a behavior they are trying to break away from. So I thought I'd express how it worked for me (and still work...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well im 44 yo and in the process of divorcing my ah of 17 yrs. Im currently in a guest bedroom at my parents home on christmas eve. I am living with friends but decided they shoukd have family time i graciously agreed to.let my ah have our daughter for christmas eve and the next mirning as he has been going to...

annief · annief

Hi, this is my first post here. Thanks so much for listening (reading). I have been in Al-Anon for a little over four years and it's done wonderful things for me. My primary qualifier is my ex (thank God!) AH. I have just recently decided to wade into dating again, for reasons that I am really not sure o...

Lyne · Lyne

Merry XMas to all~I have agreed to have dinner with several family members including my older brother who abused me for most of my childhood. I know I have a choice-never see him and eventually go to his funeral (if he goes first), or try a couple times a year to bring my broken family together. I am prac...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Hope this turns out....Christmas Eve Moon over Hilo as seen from our front living room window...It is a blessed sight tonight considering the months of rain clouds we have been covered with. Mahalo Akua (HP) for the blessings and Mahalo MIP for the love and support have a blessed and merry christmas

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a simple hello & Christmas wishes to all of my MIP family. I am so grateful for a beautiful white holiday. Love you all!

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

being a recovering panic disorder person and on my own,has led me to alot of fear but yesterday i took the bus 1/2 mile to a big lots,bought too much and managed to walk all the way home. 1 month ago,would have not tried it alone..... more concern to me today is that an old boyfriend has come back into my life...

lookingup · lookingup

It's bad enough growing up in a alcoholic home ,my sister moved in with me so it's me my sister and my a fb stays here a lot,my sister has nothing good to say about our growing up in front of others all my siblings are like that, very imbarressing when everytime I bring up something good about our growing up w...

LinSC · LinSC

thank you for the year of great posts, Merry Christmas to all....

missmeliss · missmeliss

It always start out so simple and progresses into such an unholy nightmare. Long story short, I agreed that after driving 3ish hours (with ABF) to lunch with my family I would drive with ABF to his home town a further 3 hours away for a big family get together. He's been so nice all year ad it is important to...

hotrod · hotrod

I will be going out of town shortly and will not be back until late Christmas Day so I have posted two days C2C readings today.Have a lovely Holiday celebration. The C2C reading for December 24 speaks about losing the focus on ourselves and constantly being in crisis mode by helping others....

andromeda · andromeda

I am seriously wracked with fear right now. I was talking to a friend expressing these fears (non-program friend) and they told me that maybe the fear is trying to tell me something and that there's a lesson to be learned. Yeah, well I get that, but I am so done with living with active alcoholism that I a...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

I have asked many people in my life to not speak negatively of my ex husband and not to offer advice. I have a friend who refuses to do that, saying I need reminders of how terrible things were so I don't go back. I told her it is not helpful in my forgiveness work and dealing with my resentments. I told her...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Facing my truths, owning my part and healing and going forward, That's a lot of hard work and reflection. I am sitting here listening to meditation music on you tube. i am so glad to be out of the crazy and that toxic Environment. I really was close to a An emotional and mental break down. At the hands of a m...

ShellyM · ShellyM

I've posted a few times before, and I am beginning to understand how this works and why it works. I've been to 3 meetings. My entire life I've focused on worrying about (ie: controlling) other people. Finding out that I don't have to do that anymore is such a gift. It isn't easy -- being one way for 47 years...

hotrod · hotrod

The CC reading for December 23 speaks about "belonging in Al-Anon. " The Third Tradition suggests that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. If we are not aware of alcoholism in a family member, the reading suggests that we co...

Mermaid4 · Mermaid4

Sorry, I think this is going to be long, but so much has gone on in the last 48 hours or so, I need to get it all out... Bound and determined to not fall into the helplessness and tears of last Christmas, I've prepared myself better this year. My kids - 15, 12, and 10 - are all quite aware of their dad's drinkin...

andromeda · andromeda

I think it's weird that my boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or, at least, that's how I felt this past weekend. A lot was revealed to me over the weekend and I realized that I have a ton of growth ahead of me! We had a conversation where he basically told me that I try too hard. That I people plea...

Truth · Truth

I am getting tired. I know it is my job to protect my boundaries. The emotional abuse is draining me. I set a boundary and follow through and my ex-A just changes the tactic. I am practicing self-validation just tired.

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

The 12 Steps of ChristmasAdmitted we were powerless over Christmas and that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than consumer credit could restore our sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to Santa as we understood him.Made a searching and fea...

Islander22 · Islander22

I can't keep excusing his episodes of drinking. I cant protect my sweet children from his crap anymore. So exhausting! He will go a month, sometimes several. Then the flood gate opens and he stays out til 2am and is so intoxicated. Then a fight, then he sulks around for three days repeat, repeat re...

Seymore · Seymore

Hello everyone. I'm new here. Please bear with me. I started dating my ex two and a half years ago. She had told me she used to drink a bottle of wine a night during her previous marriage, but since she met me she hadn't felt the need to. Well, in the next few months I was spending more and more time with h...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

So for the past month or so I've been down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself for things I don't have in my relationship. It was consuming my thoughts 24/7. Well, I go for my annual pap and assume everything is fine--it's not. Came back mildly abnormal so now I have to go for a colposcopy/biopsy on Dec 14...

Stizzle · Stizzle

Hi, there! :) I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this... I am a chemically dependent person with four years of sobriety, currently (yahoo!). I'm one of three children; my two sisters and I are grown now (in our 30's), but we were raised by two alcoholic parents. Our father is deceased,...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sad again... I wish I was on a beach in CA...soaking up the sun. Don't get me wrong...I love it up here in the snow... there is a peacefulness...& time of reflection. This time of year I just have to wing it...smile & suck it up! So now that I have exhausted myself I will wrap myself w love & gent...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Step 12 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 12 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwork.active...	hotrod	3	493	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just found out about my fiance's alcohol problem....I want to learn how to deal with this... (Preview) I recently discovered that my finace's drinking problem stretches out more than just the weekend drinker...I found out he drinks alone mostly..... He says he is "Sick"when ever he really is just drunk or getting over a binge. He has been "sick "about every 4 or 5 weeks. I ju...	flovett270	2	598	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	The Dancing Girl (Preview) Things are not going smoothly at the moment and again boring boring details .. LOL .. I'm so detailed and yet I bore myself at the moment if that's not saying something I don't know what is. I self sabotage at a rate that boggles the mind, .. at the same time thins are not all bad, for that I am grateful. I'm r...	SerenityRUS	2	733	Dec 29, 2015 by atheos
	Self doubt kicking in! (Preview) Hi all, i have posted once before on MIP and regularly hang out and read ESH from lots of the threads which I find invaluable to my own recovery! Oh gosh I need to share this to get it off my chest! My father and brother who have since passed due to alcohol related illnesses have left such an unhealthy fami...	Millop	4	648	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dealing with the unreasonable (Preview) Any suggestions, good slogans or quotes for dealing with my AH when he's just being unreasonable? He's been sober for a bit now, but his dry drunk is horrible (practically equal to the drunk guy at times). Just to give an example, our son is being watched this week by visiting relatives (daycare is clos...	CoopsMom	7	869	Dec 29, 2015 by maryjane
	Finally letting go (Preview) I will give background information. I was 25 years old when I met my first husband. It was love at first sight! He physically abused me yet we got married. That lasted 7 months and he left December 1st. Never saw him again. We eventually got divorced. I saw issues with him. He could not hold down a job, and d...	joker	4	581	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today dec 29 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the idea of balance in our lives. The writer realizes that through program work he/she has become more able to be centered in HP's will. The need for control is released and balance is found. We are centered in the gift of serenity. I have just retur...	yanksfan51	3	570	Dec 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	feeling angry (Preview) I have a disabled daughter that is 21 years old living with me. She has physio affective disorder. She stays in her room 24 hours a day and is not able to do anything for herself. I have to be her life line and help her with getting things she needs done. Its really stressful and I monitor her condition as wel...	joker	3	730	Dec 29, 2015 by Debb
	Trying to accept & make sense (Preview) Christmas at my mother and father's was interesting. Mom, by the end of our four hour visit, had polished off a half a bottle of wine and was truly out of control. 25 years ago she and her sister, the last of the siblings in the family, gave me my grandmother's wedding diamond, when she pasted away. I wa...	Debb	6	776	Dec 29, 2015 by Debb
	New to ALANON and have a few questions (Preview) Without being long winded, til later, I have a question or two. My best friends wife, who is my best female friend, is an alcoholic. Before I go into details of why and whatnot, my big question is, what can my friend do legally to force her to get help. Her alcoholism is putting a huge strain on their marria...	Daffypuck	13	922	Dec 29, 2015 by Thorn
	coping suggestions? (Preview) How do you ever learn to trust again when they have lied and manipulated for so long? Is trust even possible again? My AH says he wants to move forward and has admitted that he needs to get help, but after his last episode my anxiety raises everytime he's away from me. I wonder if he's up to something. I can'...	JL969803	6	816	Dec 29, 2015 by KT2015
	COLD/MELTDOWN (Preview) caught a cold sunday. guess i was having too much fun lol today, i went through this poor me phase followed by anger followed by being p offed that xah woke me up at 1am to want me to make hotel reservations at a casino so he can drive drunk,got drunker,lose his money and get into more trouble in his unsured c...	YARNCRAZY	3	519	Dec 28, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	I think I finally understand step 3 (Preview) "Recovery doesn't protect us from life. It enables us to live more fully and deal with life's problems as they arise." - Paths to Recovery I haven't been doing active step work for a few years -- I kind of stalled out after 5. I had some external excuses (moving a lot, didn't have a sponsor in my...	atheos	4	703	Dec 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Advice please (Preview) I am an adult daughter of an alcoholic. My father was the alcoholic. He passed away 6 years ago. His death was not alcohol related. He was 87 and had other health problems. My mother is now 92 and in a care home. My father stopped drinking 20 years before his death, but he had an addictive personalit...	daughter52	7	902	Dec 28, 2015 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 12-28 (Preview) C2C 12-28 speaks about sponsorship and how important it is to our recovery. It is here in this relationship that we can learn to trust another and learn to receive love .Watching and experiencing Someone who demonstrates unconditional love and takes care of themselves and offers support wi...	hotrod	1	581	Dec 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	My abf I don't even think he can hold down a full time job and coming here he is making me sick with his actions . (Preview) I find another needle or syringe hidden where I was cleaning at this makes several times I found his syringes put in hideous places ,this morning I threw it at him and he tried to denie it so when I told him what I thought he said he had to do it to put up with my bxxxxing ,everyday I said you kept doing the same o...	lookingup	2	691	Dec 28, 2015 by lookingup
	completely new to this (Preview) I am not even sure how to begin. I have an AH of 20 years. I always knew there was a problem, but chose to ignore it and try to make life as normal as possible for the kids. There have been some really, really bad times. Not surprising, things have gotten worse for all of us. His drinking problem has resulted i...	JL969803	6	745	Dec 28, 2015 by JL969803
	When you know..... (Preview) your friend has depression and anxiety. Clear as day to me. Clinical depression....undiagnosed...or diagnosed but doesn't keep up with the meds he should be taking to help him through it. And massive anxiety but doesn't keep up with same. Doesn't bother to find a good therapist to talk through...	sandollars	19	1116	Dec 28, 2015 by hotrod
	Glad Christmas is over in laws holidays in-laws spending time with in-laws (Preview) i spent Christmas with my husband and his daughter and his sister and brother. I grew up in a alcoholic home. Something triggered me at my sister in laws. She had photos of my husbands first wife and photos of his first wedding and no photos of me and my husband. It was weird. I felt uncomfortable. I...	Prayer warrior	3	8109	Dec 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	Okay... (Preview) I haven't been able to post in a very long time. At least 18 months. Not sure why I'm avoiding it. I think its got a little bit to do with my being an empath. That means I feel the pain of others in a deep and literal sense. Between the tremendous amount of pain I sense here, and read in the words you write, a...	John	13	872	Dec 27, 2015 by Southerngirl
	C2C Reading 12-27 (Preview) C2C continues to speak about how our attitudes can change, so we can live with serenity and wisdom The reading for today 12-27 speaks about keeping an open mind so that, by listening to the ideas of others and sharing opinions, we can grow in wisdom and see that there are various ways of looking a...	hotrod	2	595	Dec 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	checking in (Preview) the first week and half in my new place has had its ups and downs but mostly i was able to solve all my issues. the lanon tools have helped lot. like for overcoming fear, being grateful and first things first when i felt overwhelmed. i did almost get myself in a mess of this old boyfriend who came into my life...	YARNCRAZY	6	608	Dec 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Rough night last night .. (Preview) I had a nightmare I haven't had for a long time about my XS/dad. He was a drug addict (my term script drugs) and a definite alcoholic. Anyway, don't want to bore with the details, I about woke up in a panic attack and literally had to talk myself down because I was shaking so bad. As bad as this is I had to re...	SerenityRUS	4	814	Dec 27, 2015 by pinkchip
	I feel stuck... (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. I've been to meetings once or twice over the years and I plan to begin again. My husband of 6 years is an alcoholic. in July began his most recent round of residential treatment and was sober for 4 months. The longest it's ever been. It was wonderful. I mean -- everything I've been waiting...	what2do	5	688	Dec 27, 2015 by Mirandac
	I'm new to this...and a little nervous (Preview) I've been growing concerned about my husband's increased use of alcohol and smoking. i feel responsible for protecting our children, his parents, my parents, friends etc. i can often just forgive the inappropriate behavior and move on trying to normalize things. But it's becoming increasing...	Irishmama	5	551	Dec 27, 2015 by Mermaid4
	Son feels responsible (Preview) Ok, everyone. I just need to pour out my pain for my son so please bear with me. He is really struggling. Every time he comes home from my XAH's house, he seems more emotional and confused and angry. His dad isn't just an alcoholic, he's also very negative and keeps the news on 24/7 and rants and raves a...	andromeda	5	770	Dec 27, 2015 by andromeda
	After the kids and I left for a hotel 3 days before Christmas (Preview) It was the first real boundary I had ever set and stuck by with no hesitation. Coming home from a morning Alanon meeting to find my husband drunk at 10:30 am and my kids home on Christmas break unsettled and uncomfortable after too many times seeing their dad like this, I told him I wanted him to go somewhe...	Mermaid4	1	490	Dec 27, 2015 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 12-26 (Preview) C2C reading 12-26 speaks about having choices. In alanon we learn not to be door mats but to get up off the floor, and make a choice for ourselves. We are not victims and we do have a choice in every situation. We must resist the temptation to blame others but to look to ourselves for my part and see how...	hotrod	3	708	Dec 27, 2015 by flinn66
	what are the reasons to stay? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I'm curious about why people stay with alcoholic husbands or wives, especially when they are not in recovery. Why do you stay? I'm not criticising your choice, I'd just like to understand the motives to stay in such a situation. -- Edited by hiraeth on Wednesday 11th of November 2015 01:43:42 AM	hiraeth	40	1860	Dec 26, 2015 by HopeForJoy
	Always something new to learn (open AA meetings) (Preview) When I started in Al-Anon, I was in a city where there were many step-focused meetings, and most meetings had a few people who had been in Al-Anon for 5+ years (in some cases, 20+ years). When I came back to Al-Anon, I really wanted to come back to that, but... In the city I am in now, there are a lot of "g...	atheos	7	2356	Dec 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Our alcoholic son (Preview) Christmas was a dramatic affair, as all our son's visits are. He doesn't drink while he's here, that we know of, but his anger has everybody walking on eggshells to avoid his wrath. 'Nobody does anything right. His kids won't behave and it's our fault. We don't love him as much as we love our other son, wh...	Musicmama	2	567	Dec 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	How do we go on from here? (Preview) So a quick recap of my situation is that my 3 children's dad is addicted to drugs (heroin) and has been for years now. He has been to rehab for 6 months, various shorter stints and tried to detox at home himself numerous times... Needless to say none of it has worked. He used to have contact with his childr...	hastingsmum	3	673	Dec 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	Ready to learn how to dis-enable (Preview) I have passive-aggressive tendencies but it's been building and building, this watching my Mom's symptoms of alcoholism present themselves again for the past I-don't-even-know how many months. I have no "evidence" other than my gut, her behavior, the way her speech looks, her eyes...	release_me	4	810	Dec 26, 2015 by maryjane
	Donation Light is lite again, please contribute. (Preview) Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...	John	1	492	Dec 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Holiday argh (Preview) Although my ex-AH never went into longterm recovery, he is a binge drinker, so generally I don't have to deal with his drinking. He goes long periods between binges, and during the binges he just doesn't surface, so the drinking isn't in my face. We have to see each other because of our child, but he ha...	Mattie	10	865	Dec 26, 2015 by Mattie
	Fake it till you make it. (Preview) This slogan seems to be a love it or hate it type deal; personally I love it. Over time, others have expressed quite validly that to them it feels like continuing behaving in a disingenuous manner, a behavior they are trying to break away from. So I thought I'd express how it worked for me (and still work...	missmeliss	5	1339	Dec 26, 2015 by OceanTide
	a christmas first (Preview) Well im 44 yo and in the process of divorcing my ah of 17 yrs. Im currently in a guest bedroom at my parents home on christmas eve. I am living with friends but decided they shoukd have family time i graciously agreed to.let my ah have our daughter for christmas eve and the next mirning as he has been going to...	Theoceancalls	3	731	Dec 26, 2015 by maryjane
	Cruel "friend" who gives me advice on how to live my life. Is it abuse? (Preview) Hi, this is my first post here. Thanks so much for listening (reading). I have been in Al-Anon for a little over four years and it's done wonderful things for me. My primary qualifier is my ex (thank God!) AH. I have just recently decided to wade into dating again, for reasons that I am really not sure o...	annief	6	818	Dec 26, 2015 by annief
	Tricky XMas dinner (Preview) Merry XMas to all~I have agreed to have dinner with several family members including my older brother who abused me for most of my childhood. I know I have a choice-never see him and eventually go to his funeral (if he goes first), or try a couple times a year to bring my broken family together. I am prac...	Lyne	4	688	Dec 26, 2015 by Lyne
	Shine on (Preview) Hope this turns out....Christmas Eve Moon over Hilo as seen from our front living room window...It is a blessed sight tonight considering the months of rain clouds we have been covered with. Mahalo Akua (HP) for the blessings and Mahalo MIP for the love and support have a blessed and merry christmas	Jerry F	5	659	Dec 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	merry Christmas (Preview) Just a simple hello & Christmas wishes to all of my MIP family. I am so grateful for a beautiful white holiday. Love you all!	Hoot Nanny	1	406	Dec 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	shaky steps (Preview) being a recovering panic disorder person and on my own,has led me to alot of fear but yesterday i took the bus 1/2 mile to a big lots,bought too much and managed to walk all the way home. 1 month ago,would have not tried it alone..... more concern to me today is that an old boyfriend has come back into my life...	YARNCRAZY	4	718	Dec 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Family name (Preview) It's bad enough growing up in a alcoholic home ,my sister moved in with me so it's me my sister and my a fb stays here a lot,my sister has nothing good to say about our growing up in front of others all my siblings are like that, very imbarressing when everytime I bring up something good about our growing up w...	lookingup	0	470	Dec 25, 2015 by lookingup
	Merry Christmas (Preview) thank you for the year of great posts, Merry Christmas to all....	LinSC	9	652	Dec 25, 2015 by Mirandac
	Tis The Season For Wishing It Wasn't, Falalalala Oh Please God Why. (Preview) It always start out so simple and progresses into such an unholy nightmare. Long story short, I agreed that after driving 3ish hours (with ABF) to lunch with my family I would drive with ABF to his home town a further 3 hours away for a big family get together. He's been so nice all year ad it is important to...	missmeliss	17	857	Dec 25, 2015 by likemyheart
	Courage to Change Reading for 12-24 and 12-25 (Preview) I will be going out of town shortly and will not be back until late Christmas Day so I have posted two days C2C readings today.Have a lovely Holiday celebration. The C2C reading for December 24 speaks about losing the focus on ourselves and constantly being in crisis mode by helping others....	hotrod	6	2378	Dec 25, 2015 by Debb
	Fear (Preview) I am seriously wracked with fear right now. I was talking to a friend expressing these fears (non-program friend) and they told me that maybe the fear is trying to tell me something and that there's a lesson to be learned. Yeah, well I get that, but I am so done with living with active alcoholism that I a...	andromeda	26	1102	Dec 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Friend not respecting the boundaries I set. (Preview) I have asked many people in my life to not speak negatively of my ex husband and not to offer advice. I have a friend who refuses to do that, saying I need reminders of how terrible things were so I don't go back. I told her it is not helpful in my forgiveness work and dealing with my resentments. I told her...	Bloodshotbetty	14	3443	Dec 24, 2015 by kismetstrand
	My truth (Preview) Facing my truths, owning my part and healing and going forward, That's a lot of hard work and reflection. I am sitting here listening to meditation music on you tube. i am so glad to be out of the crazy and that toxic Environment. I really was close to a An emotional and mental break down. At the hands of a m...	Mirandac	15	747	Dec 24, 2015 by andromeda
	Slowly I am understanding, and it feels really good (Preview) I've posted a few times before, and I am beginning to understand how this works and why it works. I've been to 3 meetings. My entire life I've focused on worrying about (ie: controlling) other people. Finding out that I don't have to do that anymore is such a gift. It isn't easy -- being one way for 47 years...	ShellyM	4	659	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 12-23 (Preview) The CC reading for December 23 speaks about "belonging in Al-Anon. " The Third Tradition suggests that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. If we are not aware of alcoholism in a family member, the reading suggests that we co...	hotrod	1	593	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	I didn't see yesterday turning out like that (Preview) Sorry, I think this is going to be long, but so much has gone on in the last 48 hours or so, I need to get it all out... Bound and determined to not fall into the helplessness and tears of last Christmas, I've prepared myself better this year. My kids - 15, 12, and 10 - are all quite aware of their dad's drinkin...	Mermaid4	5	551	Dec 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	My disease is prevalent (Preview) I think it's weird that my boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or, at least, that's how I felt this past weekend. A lot was revealed to me over the weekend and I realized that I have a ton of growth ahead of me! We had a conversation where he basically told me that I try too hard. That I people plea...	andromeda	7	787	Dec 23, 2015 by Jerry F
	Set Boundaries Emotionally Abused (Preview) I am getting tired. I know it is my job to protect my boundaries. The emotional abuse is draining me. I set a boundary and follow through and my ex-A just changes the tactic. I am practicing self-validation just tired.	Truth	7	665	Dec 23, 2015 by Truth
	On a Lighter Side Just for Fun - 12 Steps for the holiday (Preview) The 12 Steps of ChristmasAdmitted we were powerless over Christmas and that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a power greater than consumer credit could restore our sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to Santa as we understood him.Made a searching and fea...	tiredtonite	6	717	Dec 23, 2015 by andromeda
	Realizing my husband is never going to stop drinking...needing to stop enabling his behavior after his binging. (Preview) I can't keep excusing his episodes of drinking. I cant protect my sweet children from his crap anymore. So exhausting! He will go a month, sometimes several. Then the flood gate opens and he stays out til 2am and is so intoxicated. Then a fight, then he sulks around for three days repeat, repeat re...	Islander22	4	678	Dec 23, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Dealing with guilt after leaving alcoholic. (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm new here. Please bear with me. I started dating my ex two and a half years ago. She had told me she used to drink a bottle of wine a night during her previous marriage, but since she met me she hadn't felt the need to. Well, in the next few months I was spending more and more time with h...	Seymore	30	6825	Dec 22, 2015 by LinSC
	HP has a mysterious way of working (Preview) So for the past month or so I've been down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself for things I don't have in my relationship. It was consuming my thoughts 24/7. Well, I go for my annual pap and assume everything is fine--it's not. Came back mildly abnormal so now I have to go for a colposcopy/biopsy on Dec 14...	Yankeerose	19	839	Dec 22, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Use of Al-Anon as a diversion tactic?? (Preview) Hi, there! :) I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this... I am a chemically dependent person with four years of sobriety, currently (yahoo!). I'm one of three children; my two sisters and I are grown now (in our 30's), but we were raised by two alcoholic parents. Our father is deceased,...	Stizzle	7	669	Dec 22, 2015 by Jazzie18
	ho hum (Preview) Sad again... I wish I was on a beach in CA...soaking up the sun. Don't get me wrong...I love it up here in the snow... there is a peacefulness...& time of reflection. This time of year I just have to wing it...smile & suck it up! So now that I have exhausted myself I will wrap myself w love & gent...	Hoot Nanny	2	485	Dec 22, 2015 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.