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Staying in the moment!
(Preview)
I have a child who doen't believe or think like me. I still meed to love her. She is A product of my drinking.
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canig70
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2
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421
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Valentine's Day with my A
(Preview)
Hi-So today is a day to celebrate love and appreciation of loved ones. That is easy for me to do except with my A. I did buy a generic card and some scratch offs. For me I see several presents waiting. I tell my A I am no longer "in love" with her. I love her as a human being, a family member, and...
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Lyne
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5
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552
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Different this year.
(Preview)
Do you know I've never had a valentines day card or gift or any of that. I'm not feeling miserable about it or anything; don't worry lol...just reflective. It used to really upset me. When I was younger I guess I imagined all sorts of romantic futures and then with the guys I have been with, well, I bought p...
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missmeliss
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7
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671
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slipped up
(Preview)
I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...
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joker
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4
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597
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Difficult Day + Email from ExAF
(Preview)
Hi All, This is my first time starting a new thread since joining this board - so for background, my original thread is called "Please Help". Anyways, this passed summer - I accidentally became pregnant with my exAF (not ex at the time). Due to my physical illness and his addiction - I deci...
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Jaclyn
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30
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999
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One Day At A Time - Clearing The Debris - 2-13-16
(Preview)
Al-Anon tries to help us learn to clear the debris of our mistakes, to help us to learn to recognize how we have contributed to the destruction of our home life. The Alcoholic in our lives did not do all the damage in the household, when we react to their poor conduct by screaming and getting upset we add t...
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Debb
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8
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523
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slipped up
(Preview)
I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...
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joker
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0
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468
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How to refuse money to A
(Preview)
My A is in rehab and likely to be out in a month's time. The A did not have a job and I was paying (way too much) for the work my A used to do at home (cooking, cleaning, groceries etc). I realize I was an enabler. I'm taking it one day at a time, but I can't help thoughts about how I will be able to refuse money (of co...
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manas
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5
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605
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Following InPatient Treatment
(Preview)
First of all, I am rather new to all of this. Four weeks today as a matter of fact. My Wife returned home from in patient treatment, 28 day program on Friday. She did amazing while completing the program. I found this board and the chat board of this group and that has helped a lot. I knew the transition back...
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Weeks7304
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20
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1039
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Valentine's Day & DAD
(Preview)
Just want to share that tomorrow being Valentine's Day & my dad's 76th birthday, I am actually feeling pretty good this year. I am on here today because of the holiday on Monday & the fact that this library computer will not be available tomorrow. I guess I don't have to explain why I am here ever...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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535
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Courage to Change (C2C) 2/14/16
(Preview)
Today's reading starts by suggest that confusion can be a gift from God. The writer states that often he/she was not truly ready to take action when looking back at times he/she felt desperate for an immediate solution. When fully ready, the information necessary was there for the taking. The writ...
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Iamhere
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0
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5437
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You win some, you lose some
(Preview)
I was so excited. Number 1 I'm finally over this flu that hit me earlier in the week and I feel like a human again. Number 2, I got a new job and I start on March 1st! This new job pays about 20% more than what I was making before but it's only a 9 mile drive instead of a 32 mile drive. That, in effect, saves me a...
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andromeda
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9
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763
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Courage To Change 13/2/16
(Preview)
Today's C2C likens us al-anoners to snowflakes, pointing out that although we come together to face similar common problems, we are all unique. It goes on to discuss how for many of us, comparing ourselves to other people has been a harmful habit that has left us feeling inadequate, and that we can eve...
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missmeliss
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2
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783
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Just for today saying I been understand wrong,plz need help with this one
(Preview)
Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,and not tackle my whole life problemat once. I can do something for twelve hoursthat would appall me if I felt that I had tokeep it up for a lifetime. ????????????,explain,this seems to be a tough one.i make mountains out of molehills . Thanks L...
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lookingup
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4
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591
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Shame Vs. Guilt
(Preview)
I have a couple of thoughts tonight that have been weighing on my heart. LOL .. if I can keep them straight I'm just going to do two separate posts. I'm looking for ESH on how to figure out what is guilt and what is shame. What does guilt feel like? What does shame feel like? What is the difference? No I d...
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Pushka
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16
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4308
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Are my wife and I in the right place?
(Preview)
My wife and I both are in a pretty desperate situation with her son (my stepson) and our marriage. Our son's father whom he sees every other week is a former drug addict. My wife's parents were not alcoholic growing up though they were very unhealthy and no doubt there was alcoholism somewhere. My pare...
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LetGoLetGod
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8
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723
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Need to vent
(Preview)
Went out for dinner with friends tonight. AH is doing what alcoholics do. Drinking too much then trying to start a fight with me when we get home. Sat back and let me deal with the bill at dinner then angry because he feels I paid too much and it was my fault the last time too you know that we paid too much for...
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KT2015
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2
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577
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To go away or not
(Preview)
I was to go out of country in a few days thinking my young adult son would be in treatment already. However we were just informed it may be 2-3 weeks more. He wants me to go as he was looking forward to quiet time (we have an up and down relationship). My concerns are his safety. i know he can do things while I'm...
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Momofk
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6
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693
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Grateful
(Preview)
I am so very grateful to MIP and the Al-Anon program and wanted to share this as it has an essential key to happiness. The program works when you work it!! {{HUGS}}
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Debb
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3
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560
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alcoholic drank again
(Preview)
I am coming to the point of acceptance slowly. The alcoholic got drunk last night again but I did not care. I had a good night sleep. He came into bed with me and kept talking in my ear. I finally got mad and told him to go to sleep. He would not of course. I finally got up and went to the other bedroom and had a sou...
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joker
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8
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570
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Courage to Change (C2C) 2/12/16
(Preview)
The daily reading from C2C for today talks about detachment. The writer discusses that it's easier to detach from casual friends than loved ones because we are less involved emotionally. If family members act as the casual friends, we have a different response, at times. What the reader discuss...
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Iamhere
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2
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574
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Please Don't Make Us Do This Again
(Preview)
I'm new here. I work in substance abuse treatment. My father is an alcoholic. I fail to do the things that I should do for me, mostly. I am, at least, in therapy. Tonight my father called me. He seemed a little goofy, but was coherent, and we made some weekend plans. He texted me a little while later as if we h...
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ElsieParalyzed
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3
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686
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Hard to admit... but I need help
(Preview)
It is so incredibly hard for me to admit that I need help now. I have been sober for nearly 3 years (in July) but I have always done it without help, I never went to therapy and quit cold turkey without picking up any other habits or addictions. I am not saying all of this to sound pompous, I have struggled eve...
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Armywife
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6
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780
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"Unconditional Love"
(Preview)
What is unconditional love to you? Can humans really love unconditional? Or is this a term we use loosely? respectfully, linsc
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LinSC
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12
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1013
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Opinions
(Preview)
Is it ok for someone else to push their strong opinions on a person? I apologize for not wording it right the 1st time. ,thanks, I'll get it right one day ,lol,I'll just tell what's really going on is that my sister whome lives here with me in my home,says shes a strongly opinionated person and that she w...
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lookingup
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12
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733
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Excepting my a/d bf
(Preview)
I know how to argue and win most arguments but this time I told my drug addicted bf that I wasn't his type or was he my type person that he needed to go back to his type gf that loved her drugs to,he said he didn't want a woman that done drugs so I said I didn't want or need a man that done drugs and that run them up hi...
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lookingup
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6
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901
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QUICK UPDATE
(Preview)
MY SIS IN LAW FINALLY STEPPED UP AND GOT AH INTO HOSPITAL. HE WAS NEAR DEATH BUT STILL RELUCTANT. SHE IS HANDLING SOME OF HIS FINANCES NOW. MY LIFE HAS JUST GOTTEN MORE COMPLICATED AS I WATCH TO SEE IF HE WILL RECOVER. THAT WILL DETERMINE WHETHER I WILL TURN OVER OWNERSHIP OF HOUSE TO HIM, FILE DIVORCE OR WA...
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YARNCRAZY
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2
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429
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Getting off this rollercoaster
(Preview)
Good Morning to everyone.
I am the spouse of an AH. Sorry for any mistakes I may make in posting, is my first time.
I have spent the past 24 yrs with an alcoholic spouse. When we first met, I knew he drank beer but didn't even realize that a person could be an alcoholic just drinking beer. I did not grow up in...
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strick62
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15
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708
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Depression and family contact
(Preview)
I've been noticing a lot of raw emotions surfacing lately, likely a result of trying to let go and detach. Without trying to control I am free to feel things and boy, am I feeling things. I don't mind it so much as long as they don't surface at inappropriate times...which they seem to. My mother visited ye...
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MollyOwl27
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9
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1072
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a good day to be alive!
(Preview)
Not much to say even anything negative. I am just grateful simply said. It just keeps getting better! If I keep the focus on the good things good things will happen!
Love you all!
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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433
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Courage to Change Reading 2-10-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for February 10 speaks about one of the many effects of living with the disease of alcoholism is that many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings and desires. In Al-Anon we learn to note, appreciate and expresses our true selves. We do find that creativity is a powerful wa...
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hotrod
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6
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980
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first post, needing some encouragement
(Preview)
hi everyone! I've been an Al Anon member for a long time, but have never come across these forums. This is my first post so saying hi to you all, hope you are doing well! Lately I haven't been able to talk to any friends about my problem, and was hoping someone could help me with some advice. I've b...
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little_phoenix
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5
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726
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Step 3
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together The 3rd Step has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link:http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61637772/al...
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hotrod
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1
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436
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WED SO TRAGIC
(Preview)
HI ALL EXCUSE THE CAPS, CAN TYPE BETTER WITH THEM. MY FRIEND TOOK ME TO THE HOUSE WHERE MY ALMOST XAH LIVES SO I COULD GET SOME PAPERS AND A CHECK ETC. i WAS EXPECTING TO SEE THINGS WERE BAD AFTER 2MTHS AWAY BUT NOT PREPARED TO SEE HIM SO VERY GAUNT,YELLOW,THIN WEAK AND UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE. i WAS HYSTERICA...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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662
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separating from A with young children
(Preview)
I am wading through my fears about possibly dovorcing my AH. One thought that holds me back is a loss of control over our son's environment. I have fears about unsafe behavior, and poor parenting affecting my son who is only 4 years old.
I have started working on my son's skills- making sure he knows ho...
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Taraxacum
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9
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702
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Courage to Change Reading 2-8-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for February 8 speaks about wanting everybody to like us and be our friend. If this does not happen we often end up feeling hurt, disappointed and "less than".The words spoken at the closing of an Al-Anon meeting are very helpful to listen to and absorb. They are "th...
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hotrod
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4
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885
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Just a positive share
(Preview)
Hi there, So I feel like things are going so well lately (knock on wood). Not that life is smooth but that I am handling the bumps in the road in a much saner way. I really feel more in touch with my HP and that is helping me so much. I'm starting to ask HP for help with things. I'm learning not to react to eve...
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KT2015
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8
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667
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Half lifing it...
(Preview)
The day came and went...calmly and sanely as so many others have since arriving at the front doors of the program of Al-Anon Family Groups. We started the day as many others with literature reading that sets us up to do the best day we can and not get blind sided by anything that could take us off the sur...
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Jerry F
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10
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664
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First world problems.
(Preview)
Well, I'm finally able to hobble around without crutches and that's a very good feeling!! I have to be very careful not to over-do it which is difficult because I am so sick of taking it easy and I am itching to get out for long walks in the summer breeze! But oh well. The whole debacle has set me back by six mo...
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missmeliss
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8
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692
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Hope for Today feb 9
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on concept 9- personal leadership at all service levels. The writer is more of a follower than leader, but through the study of concept 9 realizes there is leadership in following good example. There is leadership in following the suggestions of th...
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yanksfan51
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2
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712
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Today.
(Preview)
Saw this today and loved it; this is by far and away the best lesson I have learned during my al-anon journey. Today was a nice day. I had no-where to be, and A came over to ask if I would help him fix his resume and write cover letters for some job applications. I didn't mention the drunken conversation a fe...
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missmeliss
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8
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848
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How to deal with a relapse
(Preview)
Good morning - My son is 5 months sober, living in sober living and doing IOP (he just turned 19). I got a call last night that he relapsed. (drunk) I will soon need to talk to the professionals managing his recovery and him. I am desperately trying to figure out how I should best deal with this situatio...
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Peace Seeker
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9
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2594
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A regular day ..
(Preview)
I'm always grateful for the little and big things .. I still have not been hired on full-time and I'm really ok with that, it's been a little overwhelming in terms of the unknown .. I guess after so much going on it's ok. We are getting more settled and things are going in a positive productive way. My XAH...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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559
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Just stating the obvious
(Preview)
My AS was supposed to come over this afternoon to do some work on a car he's buying from us. He was a no-show. This is unsurprising, but I'm still having a quiet little panic over what might have happened to him, why he hasn't contacted us, etc. My grip on "I can't control what anyone else does, only wh...
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Foothold
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3
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553
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Should I give him one chance, take him out of center
(Preview)
Please help! I don't mind getting opinions, advice, shares, anything will do! Sorry for the messy post with random thoughts. I'm in India and things work a bit differently here. However, thankfully Alcoholics and co dependents, enablers are the same everywhere, I guess. I'm asking Questions and t...
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manas
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28
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9089
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Courage to Change 2-6-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for Feb. 6 speaks about the Al-Anon principle of not giving advise and waiting forissues to resolve themselves and not reacting -One such principle is that we mention to newcomers-- do not make any major life changes until you are in program for at least six first six months unles...
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hotrod
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2
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441
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New here and a bit lost....
(Preview)
I'm in a relationship with the person I truly do consider my soul mate. We've known each other since we were about ten, and the last few years we've finally had the opportunity to be together. I have three children with my ex. My partner has had addiction problems for most of his life. Drugs and alcoh...
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womanking
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10
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750
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Courage to Change Reading 2-7-16
(Preview)
C2C reading for February 7 speaks about making a decision every day to move in a positive direction. Knowing that major strides are often begun with very small steps, the reading suggests that by asking someone to be my sponsor, reaching out to a newcomer when trying a different Al-Anon meeting, m...
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hotrod
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1
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563
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trying to start anew. .needing strength
(Preview)
So. . An update. .my ah and i head back to the div mediator next week to iron out some final.details and then she will prepare the divorce papers for court. I find myself struggling with significant emotions and im so anxious about this as it draws near. How does one sign off on 17 yrs, get closure, let go an...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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689
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Heart beats and unusual feeling in chest after Trauma
(Preview)
My A is in recovery in India. I'm recovering too. Experiencing withdrawals about A :), but quite in control now. Now, I had a very traumatic day at the end .. before my A was "admitted". My heart beat at around maybe 160 beats per minute continuously for about 4-5 hours.. probably high blood p...
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manas
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5
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591
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Very rough week - feeling very isolated and overwhelmed
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am new to the group but not to al-anon. This has been an extremely hard week on me. I have been staying with my parents since my AH left me in July and filed for divorce in August. They have been out of town for a week tomorrow and I feel very isolated. I am 37 years old and feeling pretty lame f...
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Spice
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12
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764
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names of alcoholism
(Preview)
I had a good laugh today. Did you know active alcoholism is now called ADHD? what about the flu? any other names its been called?
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joker
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7
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561
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what are the facts
(Preview)
I have just had a moment of clarity. What are the facts. 1. I grew up in an alcoholic home and at 15 years old I left and started my life on my own. I could not not stand the insanity and feeling stuck. 2. In every serious relationship I had with a man, (6live in bf/c/l/husbandsx2) they have had alcohol issue...
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joker
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3
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449
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Emotional HangOver - Grateful for a Break Today!
(Preview)
I woke up this morning, and was just sad. Really, really sad. I am so grateful for recovery as I would be in far worse shape if I did not live/seek a spiritual solution for all that annoys, affects or hurts me... Many of you know that I lost my Aunt 9 days ago. She was an awesome person and I will miss her dea...
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Iamhere
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14
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836
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Soon to be ex husband relapsed
(Preview)
Hi everyone
This is my first post. A little background, I got with my X when we were 19 & 21. Right before my 21st birthday we unexpectedly got pregnant and got married a few months before we had our son in the summer of 2014.
I always knew XH was an alcoholic, but he was sober our entire relationship...
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felixfelicis
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3
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608
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Update on life
(Preview)
Hey everyone, I have not posted in a while  just thought I would update what is going on lately: AH is back to drinking, I may have mentioned that. Better luck next time I guess. MIL has been staying with us now for 10 days after a fall that landed her in the ER. NO broken bones or open wounds this time. s...
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Broken513
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4
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578
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Crises in my home
(Preview)
my a/sister lives with me and she stabbed me in the back I've put up and put up with her mood swings till this last one as of yesterday ,she tried her best to lie out of it and place blame on her daughter ,her daughter don't live here, she finally told me she did do it and that she apologized for it I still haven'...
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lookingup
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3
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660
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New to Al-Anon, not to AA
(Preview)
Hi everyone...first post here. I am an active member of AA (I am an alcoholic) in my community and truly have a love for the fellowship of AA. My wife have an compulsive eating disorder and attends OA meetings online. The other night, My sponsor suggested I attend some Al Anon meetings to gain some ex...
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pgd1979
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3
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559
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keep it simple
(Preview)
So I've been trying to focus more on myself and less on the As in my life. And in doing that I have found I kind of started to obsess about what was wrong with me. Because suddenly I can see all these irrational thoughts and feelings and behaviours that are unhealthy for me. And I have been obsessing over...
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KT2015
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3
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557
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Been a while since I have been here...
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Its been a while. First, I am SO sorry this is s long, but I haven't really talked to anyone that is going through this in a while and I guess I am just trying to gage where I am in the on going sinerio with my AH. For a long time, he has been averaging 1/2 a fith of Black Velvet a day, drinking it strei...
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Tired-of-it
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2
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571
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