Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

The C2C for today discusses the 4th Step inventory that the program suggests as part of the 12 Steps. ur fourth step inventory shows us where we have empty spaces, and what our short-comings are - just as an inventory in a retail space points out gaps on the shelf of out of stock items. The fourth step does...

el-cee · el-cee

What if someone told you that you are the same as your alcoholic partner, would you believe them? I would have argued against this before alanon. Ive became aware, with amazement, that i have the disease of alcoholism, exact same disease, minus the drinking as the alcoholics in my life. I just never kn...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

Hello all, I am asking this question not to cause controversy but because I am very new to this whole experience. My husband is currently in detox in the hospital. The past five days have been horrible. Firstly I had no idea he was drinking this much as I am rarely home. It sounds crazy but I truly didn...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Interesting when i reflect back on my life pre recovery .. I can see (and admit today) there wasn't higher power in me in truth .. there was more often than not lower power such as fear anger confusion .. wasn't until i began joining the fellowship that i began to experience occasions of higher power suc...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

This week an issue came up with my AH - He was upset about something and wanted to reach me. I was in a group meeting and had my phone on silent. Near the end of the meeting I checked my phone -- "Call me please, when you have a moment" was his text at 9am and one missed call. I sent a text back at that ti...

Crau · Crau

I have incredible guilt right now for ending things with my boyfriend who was just days home from treatment. Guilt that I wasn't patient enough, that I let my emotions overshadow my ability to make a sound decsision. But he's moved out and its done. Back story at what brought me to my breaking point...

Crau · Crau

I am tired of the thoughts that constantly flow through my head about what I should have or could have done differently. I'm tired of being crippled by the obsession of needing to know what tomorrow will bring or if that one thing I did or say was the right or wrong thing. I'm tired of needing external va...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

12 days ago I posted about the peace I felt in spite of the craziness in my home. Then shit got really real last night (4:30 am) as my AH fell down stumbling to bed and gashed his head on the bedside table. Blood everywhere. Now there is no mention of the incident tonight and I am not sure if talking about it wi...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Just did my taxes and because we got laid off and had to cash in our pensions to survive, we owe a s___ load of money to IRS. Im hoping I can work with them on payment plan. Im sooo stressed,what with having divorce papers served, dealing with home ownership transfer,my sis in law and no job. The only thing g...

Browneyedgirl66 · Browneyedgirl66

Hi I'm KG and my boyfriend is in the midst of a 2 week bender. He has been in a rapid relapse cycle for the past 4 months or so, and like so many others say, he is Mr Wonderful when he is sober - I've never gotten along better with a man than I do with him. When he drinks, he becomes a belligerent arse and I want no...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Hi all, I am really stuck. I have made progress, and am increasingly realizing how stuck I am. I moved out of my house last July, because my AH refused to go. 18 months earlier, a counselor had recommended he move out for awhile. This was before I knew he was secretly drinking - we had terrible fights an...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I am not sure why I so strongly feel the need to post today, but I do, so here it is.My AH is retired, and 13 years older than I. We live about 17 miles from town, in a gated lakeside community. His world is very small. Mostly he works around the house on projects I wrack my brain to come up with, plays comput...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Every since I joined Al anon I have been an open book. Sometimes I think it is due to the fact that I have this illness. Bipolar disorder. I am not a Bipolar. I have the disease. Anyhow, I realized that 30 years ago, I had an awful experience that changed my life. I am a new person w/ a new outlook on life. I actu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

g The MIP family has known my story for a long time and that I am also a double winner; AA membership. It is frightening when the disease kicks in during very clean, clear peaceful times and demands attention. Some here know that I've been in program for 37 years and don't ever want to return to the ins...

petey49 · petey49

Hi. I am new here and to al-anon. I need some help as to the best way to respond in a certain situation. When he drinks he gets depressed and starts saying things, in a very casual conversational tone, like "I am contemplating the best way to kill myself", "I have checked the trusses in th...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have heard it mentioned many times, but have never read an explanation of what it is. I'm guessing it is assets you have on your side, i.e. good health, resources, etc... but would love any more enlightenment, suggestions or examples. Thank you!

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how difficult decision making is when our standards are impossible to achieve. The writer shares that he/she wanted to make decisions that would deliver exactly what was desired...or they chose to avoid making them completely. He/She learned in Al-Anon that no one ca...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All - Lying in bed, miserable, haven't reached out to anyone in days - so thought I'd give this a shot. I've been through so many medical tests and doctors' appointments this week... And what am I lying here OBSESSING about? Ex-AF... Endlessly. It won't stop. I've tried listening to my Al Anon au...

Britta · Britta

My husband has been sober for 6 months and he recently admitted to having a drink because he was feeling sick and shaky. Now today I found out he has been having drinks every now and then since the first incident. He constantly says things like he's a failure with sobriety and our relationship. I really d...

brkdrms · brkdrms

I've been married to my Alcoholic for 26 years. The last 4 we have been separated. My 4 kids really prefer not to be around him. It took me years of analyzing every argument, praying for guidance, checking through my logic a million times to trust myself that it was okay to separate. It got to the point tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's reading addresses tradition 10- that al-anon has no opinion on outside issues. The reader notes that thanks to this tradition, they were able to have a close relationship with their sponsor, even though the sponsor had personal views and opinions that would ordinarily conflict with their...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I dont know if this is good or not but AH,s sister has taken over care of him and his financial picture etc. It sounds good but is awkward for me as we[sis in law] were never close at all from her choice. Now she is calling me with all kinds of questions and ideas for handling things. Im angry because where was...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I'm making some changes to my estate planning provisions - previously, I had a set up a simple three way split for my three kids - two normal kids, and my active alcoholic/addict younger son that I've shared about here before. I'm coming to feel that it wouldn't be in my younger son's best interests to j...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

You know I try .. lol. My job situation is not good which is actually ok. I am currently looking for another one and will need to make another leap of faith. I will miss working downtown and really would rather stay in that area .. I love it is putting it mildly. So far the purging has been 7 people in the l...

pixie · pixie

That's what my AH had. 14 25 oz. cans of beer at least in 6 hours. I'm sure he had more before I noticed that and he had six full cans besides that in the back of his vehicle. Buy evening he was staggering all over the place. I was waiting for him to fall so I could step over him and leave him laying there to get hi...

mom 2 five · mom 2 five

My A has been dry for 3 months; the alcoholic behaviors and attitudes are still here.... I am new to this group (found it just a week or so ago) and new to Al Anon... looking forward to going to a F2F meeting this week. I have learned to "detach" and walk away, find something else to do when he ac...

BobbiLaila · BobbiLaila

Hi, husband has been hospitalized for alcoholic hepatitis, almost died of acute liver failure. I'll skip out on the whole history but he tried AA before and didn't like it, just upset him more. He says he knows he can't ever drink again, and that he has no desire to drink. Therefore he hasn't accepted an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for today discusses that we learn in Al-Anon that we do not have to accept unacceptable behavior! We don't have to tolerate violence or abuse and we have choices that perhaps were not readily recognizable before recovery. We can set limits that offer us guidelines without trying to con...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and to be an old timer watching newcomers work it and create miracles in their lives is a gift from HP. At last nights Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG the oriental family who have been attending for about a month came back. We used the Paths To Recovery second step section...read and then share an...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I dont post often but I read everyday. The posts here have helped me tremendously... My AH has been "trying" to work his program since April (10 months). He suffered one relapse in August and I believe a second in October (he nevered admitted to it). I have been trying to detach as much an...

andromeda · andromeda

I wanted to explore the topic of being in acceptance of others, people whom you are in romantic relationships or friendships with, and knowing what your needs are within the context of that relationship. It's something I struggle with. I have learned to accept people for who they are and I accept my...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C discusses step 4 - "making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves" and the fact that this step can help us to finally see that we are in a state of sickness just as much as the alcoholic in our lives may be. The writer notes that they were struck by the obsessive way t...

joker · joker

Update on my home situation since my last post. ABF sobered up and went back to work for 4 days. I did share with him what he had done to me while drunk-grabbing me and what I intend to do if this happens again. I was very clear that if he grabs me again while drunk, there will be no further talk, the police will...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Haven't written in awhile but pop in and read posts to keep me going. I've been chugging along in my life, dealing with the good stretches and then empty promises, one step forward, two steps back. Taking care of my kids, doing my work, trying to detach like crazy in my marriage. Sometimes it works. I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I heard last night that a member from my 'other' fellowship lost her battle with the disease over the weekend. She was 50 years old, and leaves behind a child (son), a loving and supportive home group, a loving family and many who don't understand. She'd been in the program and sober for 10+ years. She...

Katsfree · Katsfree

Hello all - I vaguely remember this site from about 8 yrs ago, when my H's drinking was bothering me... but it wasn't my time then :) I just wanted to say thank you for the message board and meetings here online! What a blessing to have something to take "on the road". I have attended 2 of the onl...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I am different. I go against the norm and my brilliant ideas and understanding of things is too advanced for others to grasp. I tell the truth and people aren't ready for that! People are so dumb. I am glad I am so much smarter than everyone else. It is not at all that I have problems fitting into groups and...

little_phoenix · little_phoenix

I used to get really angry when my husband would drink.. and we got into a lot of fights. Looking back at it, I can't help it's been all my fault and if only I didn't say anything, we would still be together. His drinking lately has been under control and he decided to break up with me because of our differe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to the family and Mahalo (thanks) for the honest and open share. I've been around a bit and appreciate loving shares...that was a loving share. Please keep coming back often. ((((hugs))))

Katsfree · Katsfree

Hello MIP I was thinking about this.. faith vs fear. Today I know I cant be in both at the same time. I know I have to believe in both in order for them to work in my life. For so many years I was driven by fear, coped in fear, lived in fear. It kept me stuck in quicksand, sinking. It made false appearances seem so...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading opens up reminding us about daily practice of the Al-Anon program. It helps us become more tolerant of others and keeps us focused on ourselves. The writer discusses how many of the defects he/she saw in others before the program came to be common of themselves in their inventory st...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

whoooo it will be official in 6mths. new boyfriend is going to take me then for a cruise to celebrate my b-day and official end of divorce Soon to be XAH now in rehab and will be served there. his sister is helping to manage everything thank g-d i guess this is when HP has decided would be the time and he has al...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Every time I go by my neighbor place what is left of it I experience mixed emotions. Basically sadness but gratitude at the same time. It makes me sick to my stomach to see the devastation of loss especially of their home. The gratitude is out of me not having to go through this myself. I say a prayer every t...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I will admit it, I am struggling with my job right now. I can say this freely, because I see other posts with folks who are not grooving at their place of employment either. I have been here for a LONG time (15 years last year). I have done just about every job and I have grown up with this company. From 11...

KathRN · KathRN

I've been up since 5:30 this morning listening to podcasts and interviews on "The addicts Mom" website. I feel very empowered and for the first time, feel like I know what I need to do, and will be able to stick to it! I was in the middle of writing my daughter a letter, and she called. She asked...

el-cee · el-cee

I kind of am!! I know it sounds ridiculous. Its such a painful, taker this disease. I am grateful though. If this disease hadn't taken me to my own 'bottom' I would never have saught help in this wonderful fellowship and I would still be one of the walking dead. Living without living. Walking around with...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

How normal is it for a 44 year old man to require a walker after 5 days in detox?? I am horrified. he fell yesterday, luckily onto a mattress... but the physio gave him a walker. What??? Is this common? I feel shocked. and horrified. This is a guy who is big and strong. He's using a walker. I can't ev...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change reading for today discusses how limited our vision is and how we can become fixated on only the outcomes 'we' can imagine. This is often what drives us to seek to believe in a power greater than ourselves, a higher power, who is not limited by the same logic. The author points out t...

vintagebel · vintagebel

Well I haven't been on here for a while now. I married my AH three months ago (we've been together two years). He had been going really well - doing daily meetings, looking healthy & our relationship was great. Fast forward three months. He's back to drinking every day now, hiding his "stash&...

Bettina2 · Bettina2

Hi everyone. Some may still remember me and I know some won't. Been such a busy year. Went back to school to study Alcohol and drug counseling, will graduate soon. Right now doing my internship at the US Vets at March AFB in sunny California. But I never forget this board and the great people on it. Hope to...

KT2015 · KT2015

So I had a rough weekend with AH. It was pretty rough. We got into a disagreement I told him how I felt about something and he hasn't been able to accept what I said. So he's been quite the bear. He's withdrawn all physical affection, his drinking increased dramatically in the last couple of days and h...

Lyne · Lyne

There is always more to learn and practice. I understand the slogan "keep coming back." If I am having trouble with my A, it doesn't feel earth shattering anymore. I have detached with love and more importantly, whatever the future holds for us, I have HP and I will be OK. But with my brot...

el-cee · el-cee

Happy Valentine's day. It's a good day to for 'love' and what it is. It seems to mean different things to different people. Living with alcoholism distorted my perception of love. I believed love was needing a person and being needed. I think my idea of love was co dependency. Enabling was another fe...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Not sure how to feel about getting canned from a job I hated. Was mostly that they couldn't afford to keep me. Either way, it is reminiscent of being in a relationship with a drunk and feeling rejected by someone you hate anyhow. Being unemployed is scary. Very anxious. Something will work out.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how difficult and dangerous it can be to get caught up in your own head with obsessive thoughts. There can be a fearfulness connected with too much thinking; I have definitely caught myself going down that path and prayed 'oh no please help me get out o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Prayers please for the family who lost their trailer home this morning. Grease fire. Lost everything. I know it is safe to post this here. Didn't want to post it on Facebook. Small town.

joker · joker

I have not shared that the home situation is getting worse than said. He has grabbed me and has left bruises on my arms. He again grabbed me on the weekend and so far there is no bruises on me today (Sunday). I am near the end of my rope where I will call the police and have him charged for assault. Usually he wi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

"Expectations lead to big let downs, because in those expectations are only what you think you know. Expectancy allows God to move in unthinkable ways." ~~~~ Loving on purpose dot com The above quote was in my daily feed this morning, and it gave me reason to pause. I believe it's because...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

OK I texted my a brother that I landed a job and he congratulates me which is nice. He then tells me (insert sad story here). In this instance he on the job and is sitting waiting in a car in a temperature in the single digits. OK this is where maybe I could have just detached by saying sorry to hear that, hope i...

Lyne · Lyne

Thanks for your help yesterday. In the afternoon my A and I spent some time with my extended family. My A got blamed for doing something inappropriate, not horrible, not due to alcohol, and now she is completely depressed as my sister-in-law went berserk in front of others. I have learned since th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/24/16 (Preview) The C2C for today discusses the 4th Step inventory that the program suggests as part of the 12 Steps. ur fourth step inventory shows us where we have empty spaces, and what our short-comings are - just as an inventory in a retail space points out gaps on the shelf of out of stock items. The fourth step does...	Iamhere	0	475	Feb 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	You and the A are the same. (Preview) What if someone told you that you are the same as your alcoholic partner, would you believe them? I would have argued against this before alanon. Ive became aware, with amazement, that i have the disease of alcoholism, exact same disease, minus the drinking as the alcoholics in my life. I just never kn...	el-cee	12	860	Feb 24, 2016 by MeTwo2
	is al-anon for atheists? (Preview) Hello all, I am asking this question not to cause controversy but because I am very new to this whole experience. My husband is currently in detox in the hospital. The past five days have been horrible. Firstly I had no idea he was drinking this much as I am rarely home. It sounds crazy but I truly didn...	Rachel Blue	19	792	Feb 24, 2016 by MeTwo2
	just an honest share; lessening the illusion .. (Preview) Interesting when i reflect back on my life pre recovery .. I can see (and admit today) there wasn't higher power in me in truth .. there was more often than not lower power such as fear anger confusion .. wasn't until i began joining the fellowship that i began to experience occasions of higher power suc...	MeTwo2	0	463	Feb 24, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Clarifying an issue with AH and cell phones (Preview) This week an issue came up with my AH - He was upset about something and wanted to reach me. I was in a group meeting and had my phone on silent. Near the end of the meeting I checked my phone -- "Call me please, when you have a moment" was his text at 9am and one missed call. I sent a text back at that ti...	Taraxacum	4	520	Feb 23, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Guilt... guilt relationships letting go support recovery (Preview) I have incredible guilt right now for ending things with my boyfriend who was just days home from treatment. Guilt that I wasn't patient enough, that I let my emotions overshadow my ability to make a sound decsision. But he's moved out and its done. Back story at what brought me to my breaking point...	Crau	12	3254	Feb 23, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	I'm just plain tired.... (Preview) I am tired of the thoughts that constantly flow through my head about what I should have or could have done differently. I'm tired of being crippled by the obsession of needing to know what tomorrow will bring or if that one thing I did or say was the right or wrong thing. I'm tired of needing external va...	Crau	7	598	Feb 23, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Feeling like a sham (Preview) 12 days ago I posted about the peace I felt in spite of the craziness in my home. Then shit got really real last night (4:30 am) as my AH fell down stumbling to bed and gashed his head on the bedside table. Blood everywhere. Now there is no mention of the incident tonight and I am not sure if talking about it wi...	Bethany66	3	433	Feb 23, 2016 by Freetime
	fREAKIN oUT (Preview) Just did my taxes and because we got laid off and had to cash in our pensions to survive, we owe a s___ load of money to IRS. Im hoping I can work with them on payment plan. Im sooo stressed,what with having divorce papers served, dealing with home ownership transfer,my sis in law and no job. The only thing g...	YARNCRAZY	4	538	Feb 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Advice Please - Unsure how to respond to actively drinking boyfriend (Preview) Hi I'm KG and my boyfriend is in the midst of a 2 week bender. He has been in a rapid relapse cycle for the past 4 months or so, and like so many others say, he is Mr Wonderful when he is sober - I've never gotten along better with a man than I do with him. When he drinks, he becomes a belligerent arse and I want no...	Browneyedgirl66	3	569	Feb 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	getting over resentment of being the one to move out of family home (Preview) Hi all, I am really stuck. I have made progress, and am increasingly realizing how stuck I am. I moved out of my house last July, because my AH refused to go. 18 months earlier, a counselor had recommended he move out for awhile. This was before I knew he was secretly drinking - we had terrible fights an...	oceanpine	6	456	Feb 22, 2016 by a4l
	Need to air my thoughts... (Preview) I am not sure why I so strongly feel the need to post today, but I do, so here it is.My AH is retired, and 13 years older than I. We live about 17 miles from town, in a gated lakeside community. His world is very small. Mostly he works around the house on projects I wrack my brain to come up with, plays comput...	Bethany66	25	947	Feb 22, 2016 by mom 2 five
	my life is pretty much an open book... (Preview) Every since I joined Al anon I have been an open book. Sometimes I think it is due to the fact that I have this illness. Bipolar disorder. I am not a Bipolar. I have the disease. Anyhow, I realized that 30 years ago, I had an awful experience that changed my life. I am a new person w/ a new outlook on life. I actu...	Hoot Nanny	2	367	Feb 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Here is one way the disease works in my life. (Preview) g The MIP family has known my story for a long time and that I am also a double winner; AA membership. It is frightening when the disease kicks in during very clean, clear peaceful times and demands attention. Some here know that I've been in program for 37 years and don't ever want to return to the ins...	Jerry F	3	438	Feb 22, 2016 by Katsfree
	How should I respond? (Preview) Hi. I am new here and to al-anon. I need some help as to the best way to respond in a certain situation. When he drinks he gets depressed and starts saying things, in a very casual conversational tone, like "I am contemplating the best way to kill myself", "I have checked the trusses in th...	petey49	5	465	Feb 22, 2016 by Jazzie18
	what exactly is an asset list? (Preview) I have heard it mentioned many times, but have never read an explanation of what it is. I'm guessing it is assets you have on your side, i.e. good health, resources, etc... but would love any more enlightenment, suggestions or examples. Thank you!	oceanpine	6	1927	Feb 22, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/22/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how difficult decision making is when our standards are impossible to achieve. The writer shares that he/she wanted to make decisions that would deliver exactly what was desired...or they chose to avoid making them completely. He/She learned in Al-Anon that no one ca...	Iamhere	1	339	Feb 22, 2016 by KathRN
	Drowning (Preview) Hi All - Lying in bed, miserable, haven't reached out to anyone in days - so thought I'd give this a shot. I've been through so many medical tests and doctors' appointments this week... And what am I lying here OBSESSING about? Ex-AF... Endlessly. It won't stop. I've tried listening to my Al Anon au...	Jaclyn	10	554	Feb 21, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Signs of Relapse recovery relapse family support advice spouse (Preview) My husband has been sober for 6 months and he recently admitted to having a drink because he was feeling sick and shaky. Now today I found out he has been having drinks every now and then since the first incident. He constantly says things like he's a failure with sobriety and our relationship. I really d...	Britta	11	7830	Feb 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	Does the guilt, sympathy ever go away? (Preview) I've been married to my Alcoholic for 26 years. The last 4 we have been separated. My 4 kids really prefer not to be around him. It took me years of analyzing every argument, praying for guidance, checking through my logic a million times to trust myself that it was okay to separate. It got to the point tha...	brkdrms	3	2560	Feb 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage To change 21/2 (Preview) Today's reading addresses tradition 10- that al-anon has no opinion on outside issues. The reader notes that thanks to this tradition, they were able to have a close relationship with their sponsor, even though the sponsor had personal views and opinions that would ordinarily conflict with their...	missmeliss	1	393	Feb 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	small vent (Preview) I dont know if this is good or not but AH,s sister has taken over care of him and his financial picture etc. It sounds good but is awkward for me as we[sis in law] were never close at all from her choice. Now she is calling me with all kinds of questions and ideas for handling things. Im angry because where was...	YARNCRAZY	2	474	Feb 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Doing a will - provisions for my alcoholic\addict son (Preview) I'm making some changes to my estate planning provisions - previously, I had a set up a simple three way split for my three kids - two normal kids, and my active alcoholic/addict younger son that I've shared about here before. I'm coming to feel that it wouldn't be in my younger son's best interests to j...	texas yankee	15	709	Feb 20, 2016 by texas yankee
	Lots going on .. LOL (Preview) You know I try .. lol. My job situation is not good which is actually ok. I am currently looking for another one and will need to make another leap of faith. I will miss working downtown and really would rather stay in that area .. I love it is putting it mildly. So far the purging has been 7 people in the l...	SerenityRUS	3	395	Feb 20, 2016 by OceanTide
	at least 14 in 6 hours (Preview) That's what my AH had. 14 25 oz. cans of beer at least in 6 hours. I'm sure he had more before I noticed that and he had six full cans besides that in the back of his vehicle. Buy evening he was staggering all over the place. I was waiting for him to fall so I could step over him and leave him laying there to get hi...	pixie	4	546	Feb 20, 2016 by pixie
	Living with a dry drunk - help (Preview) My A has been dry for 3 months; the alcoholic behaviors and attitudes are still here.... I am new to this group (found it just a week or so ago) and new to Al Anon... looking forward to going to a F2F meeting this week. I have learned to "detach" and walk away, find something else to do when he ac...	mom 2 five	1	474	Feb 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	alcoholic hepatitis (Preview) Hi, husband has been hospitalized for alcoholic hepatitis, almost died of acute liver failure. I'll skip out on the whole history but he tried AA before and didn't like it, just upset him more. He says he knows he can't ever drink again, and that he has no desire to drink. Therefore he hasn't accepted an...	BobbiLaila	9	501	Feb 20, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/20/16 (Preview) The reading for today discusses that we learn in Al-Anon that we do not have to accept unacceptable behavior! We don't have to tolerate violence or abuse and we have choices that perhaps were not readily recognizable before recovery. We can set limits that offer us guidelines without trying to con...	Iamhere	2	460	Feb 20, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	This works when we work it.... (Preview) and to be an old timer watching newcomers work it and create miracles in their lives is a gift from HP. At last nights Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG the oriental family who have been attending for about a month came back. We used the Paths To Recovery second step section...read and then share an...	Jerry F	4	623	Feb 20, 2016 by Lyne
	I'm just...... (Preview) I dont post often but I read everyday. The posts here have helped me tremendously... My AH has been "trying" to work his program since April (10 months). He suffered one relapse in August and I believe a second in October (he nevered admitted to it). I have been trying to detach as much an...	EarlyBird	7	498	Feb 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Needs, acceptance, and loving yourself (Preview) I wanted to explore the topic of being in acceptance of others, people whom you are in romantic relationships or friendships with, and knowing what your needs are within the context of that relationship. It's something I struggle with. I have learned to accept people for who they are and I accept my...	andromeda	13	762	Feb 20, 2016 by blindsided
	Courage To Change 19/2/16 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses step 4 - "making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves" and the fact that this step can help us to finally see that we are in a state of sickness just as much as the alcoholic in our lives may be. The writer notes that they were struck by the obsessive way t...	missmeliss	1	450	Feb 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	update on my life (Preview) Update on my home situation since my last post. ABF sobered up and went back to work for 4 days. I did share with him what he had done to me while drunk-grabbing me and what I intend to do if this happens again. I was very clear that if he grabs me again while drunk, there will be no further talk, the police will...	joker	5	528	Feb 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel disloyal? (Preview) Haven't written in awhile but pop in and read posts to keep me going. I've been chugging along in my life, dealing with the good stretches and then empty promises, one step forward, two steps back. Taking care of my kids, doing my work, trying to detach like crazy in my marriage. Sometimes it works. I...	newleaf66	14	656	Feb 19, 2016 by Bettina2
	The Disease Won Again.... (Preview) I heard last night that a member from my 'other' fellowship lost her battle with the disease over the weekend. She was 50 years old, and leaves behind a child (son), a loving and supportive home group, a loving family and many who don't understand. She'd been in the program and sober for 10+ years. She...	Iamhere	20	733	Feb 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Wow, what a place! (Preview) Hello all - I vaguely remember this site from about 8 yrs ago, when my H's drinking was bothering me... but it wasn't my time then :) I just wanted to say thank you for the message board and meetings here online! What a blessing to have something to take "on the road". I have attended 2 of the onl...	Katsfree	7	578	Feb 19, 2016 by el-cee
	Inner dialog of a dry drunk (Preview) I am different. I go against the norm and my brilliant ideas and understanding of things is too advanced for others to grasp. I tell the truth and people aren't ready for that! People are so dumb. I am glad I am so much smarter than everyone else. It is not at all that I have problems fitting into groups and...	pinkchip	14	826	Feb 19, 2016 by el-cee
	down in the dumps (Preview) I used to get really angry when my husband would drink.. and we got into a lot of fights. Looking back at it, I can't help it's been all my fault and if only I didn't say anything, we would still be together. His drinking lately has been under control and he decided to break up with me because of our differe...	little_phoenix	6	606	Feb 18, 2016 by Bettina2
	Welcome Cynthia MC (Preview) to the family and Mahalo (thanks) for the honest and open share. I've been around a bit and appreciate loving shares...that was a loving share. Please keep coming back often. ((((hugs))))	Jerry F	2	446	Feb 18, 2016 by Jerry F
	Faith vs Fear (Preview) Hello MIP I was thinking about this.. faith vs fear. Today I know I cant be in both at the same time. I know I have to believe in both in order for them to work in my life. For so many years I was driven by fear, coped in fear, lived in fear. It kept me stuck in quicksand, sinking. It made false appearances seem so...	Katsfree	2	657	Feb 18, 2016 by Katsfree
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/18/16 (Preview) Today's reading opens up reminding us about daily practice of the Al-Anon program. It helps us become more tolerant of others and keeps us focused on ourselves. The writer discusses how many of the defects he/she saw in others before the program came to be common of themselves in their inventory st...	Iamhere	0	417	Feb 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Officially Filed for Divorce!!! (Preview) whoooo it will be official in 6mths. new boyfriend is going to take me then for a cruise to celebrate my b-day and official end of divorce Soon to be XAH now in rehab and will be served there. his sister is helping to manage everything thank g-d i guess this is when HP has decided would be the time and he has al...	YARNCRAZY	3	453	Feb 18, 2016 by Inga
	gratitude & sadness (Preview) Every time I go by my neighbor place what is left of it I experience mixed emotions. Basically sadness but gratitude at the same time. It makes me sick to my stomach to see the devastation of loss especially of their home. The gratitude is out of me not having to go through this myself. I say a prayer every t...	Hoot Nanny	2	439	Feb 18, 2016 by Lyne
	The Job at Hand (Preview) I will admit it, I am struggling with my job right now. I can say this freely, because I see other posts with folks who are not grooving at their place of employment either. I have been here for a LONG time (15 years last year). I have done just about every job and I have grown up with this company. From 11...	Bethany66	2	523	Feb 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Arguement with my daughter....again! Warning, VENTING (Preview) I've been up since 5:30 this morning listening to podcasts and interviews on "The addicts Mom" website. I feel very empowered and for the first time, feel like I know what I need to do, and will be able to stick to it! I was in the middle of writing my daughter a letter, and she called. She asked...	KathRN	7	730	Feb 17, 2016 by Path to Serenity
	Are you grateful for alcoholism? (Preview) I kind of am!! I know it sounds ridiculous. Its such a painful, taker this disease. I am grateful though. If this disease hadn't taken me to my own 'bottom' I would never have saught help in this wonderful fellowship and I would still be one of the walking dead. Living without living. Walking around with...	el-cee	21	876	Feb 17, 2016 by Fairlee
	The shakes - what the heck?? (Preview) How normal is it for a 44 year old man to require a walker after 5 days in detox?? I am horrified. he fell yesterday, luckily onto a mattress... but the physio gave him a walker. What??? Is this common? I feel shocked. and horrified. This is a guy who is big and strong. He's using a walker. I can't ev...	Rachel Blue	9	661	Feb 17, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/17/2016 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today discusses how limited our vision is and how we can become fixated on only the outcomes 'we' can imagine. This is often what drives us to seek to believe in a power greater than ourselves, a higher power, who is not limited by the same logic. The author points out t...	Iamhere	0	462	Feb 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Three Months Married - My "Beloved" AH (Preview) Well I haven't been on here for a while now. I married my AH three months ago (we've been together two years). He had been going really well - doing daily meetings, looking healthy & our relationship was great. Fast forward three months. He's back to drinking every day now, hiding his "stash&...	vintagebel	2	557	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	You are always on my mind (Preview) Hi everyone. Some may still remember me and I know some won't. Been such a busy year. Went back to school to study Alcohol and drug counseling, will graduate soon. Right now doing my internship at the US Vets at March AFB in sunny California. But I never forget this board and the great people on it. Hope to...	Bettina2	8	608	Feb 16, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Progress coming in waves I guess (Preview) So I had a rough weekend with AH. It was pretty rough. We got into a disagreement I told him how I felt about something and he hasn't been able to accept what I said. So he's been quite the bear. He's withdrawn all physical affection, his drinking increased dramatically in the last couple of days and h...	KT2015	5	656	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Coping skills interesting (Preview) There is always more to learn and practice. I understand the slogan "keep coming back." If I am having trouble with my A, it doesn't feel earth shattering anymore. I have detached with love and more importantly, whatever the future holds for us, I have HP and I will be OK. But with my brot...	Lyne	2	565	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Love, what is it? (Preview) Happy Valentine's day. It's a good day to for 'love' and what it is. It seems to mean different things to different people. Living with alcoholism distorted my perception of love. I believed love was needing a person and being needed. I think my idea of love was co dependency. Enabling was another fe...	el-cee	9	740	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Fired/Laid off ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Not sure how to feel about getting canned from a job I hated. Was mostly that they couldn't afford to keep me. Either way, it is reminiscent of being in a relationship with a drunk and feeling rejected by someone you hate anyhow. Being unemployed is scary. Very anxious. Something will work out.	pinkchip	75	1834	Feb 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today. Feb 16 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how difficult and dangerous it can be to get caught up in your own head with obsessive thoughts. There can be a fearfulness connected with too much thinking; I have definitely caught myself going down that path and prayed 'oh no please help me get out o...	yanksfan51	1	479	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	my neighbors house caught on fire (Preview) Prayers please for the family who lost their trailer home this morning. Grease fire. Lost everything. I know it is safe to post this here. Didn't want to post it on Facebook. Small town.	Hoot Nanny	3	311	Feb 16, 2016 by milkwood
	Need to be honest (Preview) I have not shared that the home situation is getting worse than said. He has grabbed me and has left bruises on my arms. He again grabbed me on the weekend and so far there is no bruises on me today (Sunday). I am near the end of my rope where I will call the police and have him charged for assault. Usually he wi...	joker	8	725	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Expectations Quote in my Feed This AM.... (Preview) "Expectations lead to big let downs, because in those expectations are only what you think you know. Expectancy allows God to move in unthinkable ways." ~~~~ Loving on purpose dot com The above quote was in my daily feed this morning, and it gave me reason to pause. I believe it's because...	Iamhere	4	719	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Was Just Trying to Be Nice (Preview) OK I texted my a brother that I landed a job and he congratulates me which is nice. He then tells me (insert sad story here). In this instance he on the job and is sitting waiting in a car in a temperature in the single digits. OK this is where maybe I could have just detached by saying sorry to hear that, hope i...	tiredtonite	3	571	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mind my own business (Preview) Thanks for your help yesterday. In the afternoon my A and I spent some time with my extended family. My A got blamed for doing something inappropriate, not horrible, not due to alcohol, and now she is completely depressed as my sister-in-law went berserk in front of others. I have learned since th...	Lyne	2	445	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.