Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

I told my addict bf he needed to go somewhere else to stay awhile until the drama. Settled down around here ,just way to much for me to deal with 2 addicts living in my home is a nightmare,he isn't likening it having to leave but so far he has been nice,I told him he could go to his old bosses house but he said NO...

lookingup · lookingup

I've lost or forgotten old usernames and passwords for this board,are there any way I can retrieve them back so that I can go back and read my old posts from yrs ago ???? Thank you ,lu ive had at least 3 or 4 usernames and passwords from over the years but don't have them now. Need help please . Lu

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

HIRED FOR 8HR SHIFT COLD CALLING FOR HOME SERVICES COMPANY. LOCATION WAS PERFECT BUT THE NEW OWNERS BREATHED DOWN OUR NECKS. tHERE WERE QUOTAS INPOSSIBLE TO MEET. tHE COMPUTORS KEPT MESSING UP AND THE LEAD GENERATER PROGRAM KEPT CALLING THE SAME PEOPLE. MUCH ITRATATION AND FRUSTRATION, OFFICE NOT...

joker · joker

I was reading Al-Anon literature this morning and the word Choices came to me. What are my choices? I thought hard about it and came up with a list: 1. Ask for help (call police, domestic violence help line, woman shelter, AA, Al-Anon, sponsor, friend, post on board here, let someone know what is happen...

Crau · Crau

If only I wasn't so passive he said. But what he didn't know is that when I wasn't, he didn't remember or picked a fight or threatened to leave. If only I wasn't so enabling his family said. But they couldn't see was what my day to day life was with him because they were so far away; all the times I put up boun...

Britta · Britta

My husband has relapsed and hes back to his old self. Sweet as can be when sober but mean as all hell (verbally) when drinking. I realize I love only part of him and I hate what he becomes when hes drinking. Hes been completely drunk the last 2 nights and I dont want to be treated that way anymore. Really just...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading brings up that difficult concept of detaching with love. In the reading it is suggested that this is important for US-- that until we are able to lovingly detach we are bound to the past and moving forward in life is very difficult. The opening sentences are about how the reader saw so...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, As some of you know I started a new job last week. It's been an eventful week at the new workplace. As I suspected my new boss is an ACOA. She got word that her biological father died this week. He left her and her brother when they were very small with their mother who was a violent alcoholic. M...

joker · joker

Its been another hellish 5 days of alcoholic using. He came home from work Thursday night and went straight to the bar. He did not come into the house. I went to bed and woke up at 3 am. He was still not home but I had a good laugh. I thought for sure he would make the liquor store before 2 am, he needs his alcohol...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, I went to an open meeting and then to a step meeting. Tonight I was at the step meeting for just the second time and shared with the group that I have spoken my peace to my husband this past week. I had told him that I was seeking recovery, that I hoped he would seek it for himself also because my f...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

I mean, he was diagnosed with Barretts Esophagus and told to "Wien" off alcohol and lay off pop. So what does he do? Spends the rest of the day after the Upper endoscopy, eating everything in sight. (junk food) And I am not sure, but i THINK he drank a little. Thursday he drank his usual 1/2 a 5th...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've always been terrible at taking care of myself. Last week I got really sick with a bad cold and I had to stay home from work for a day and for several days I couldn't speak much (lost my voice) and had to take things really slow. I think it was my HPs way of telling me to listen and learn. I listened to my b...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

Sooo, My AH and I are in a church that has small satalite Home Churches, like Bible studies. We get together once a week, and then go to the "big" church on Sunday with other home churches. This keeps it kinda nice, cause you have the feel of a small church when you are within a larger church. I a...

outlandergirl · outlandergirl

I'm so glad I found this site. I'm new to this site but not new to alanon. I've been reading a lot of the posts and the words are like water for someone dying of thirst. I work in a treatment center so I'm around just barely treated alcoholism every day...I've got some time in AA, which is where I've spent...

lookingup · lookingup

My addict sister is in another crises with her oldest daughter which is 18 and lives out on her own with a healthy boyfriend,so to try and stay out of the drama and chaos of a/ sister and her being very emotional and crying can't eat,etc all on account of her daughters bad attitude toward her,says her moms...

lookingup · lookingup

Any suggestions would be great as in my working my program as best and as hard as I can and as I have time to do so,I'm asking for Tools and Slogans to get me through tough times as have a addict sister and addict / alcoholic bf living in my home they can both be helpful in some ways both pay their way mostly sist...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

Hello everyone. I'm pretty new here, and I am very thankful to the kind people I have already met here. I took a few days away. After my husband came home from detox (long story, but I didn't even know he was an alcoholic he was so highly functional and good at hiding it - then he went through a brutal phys...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Gotta get this out: It is leap day & it feels really strange. Don't know how to explain it but then again some days are just strange anyhow. I am so grateful for all of you who shared your experience w/ recovery. I thought it was a pretty good thread myself. So today is full of good memories. I am on my own...

Crau · Crau

Why is putting our selves first the most difficult part of this whole thing? I can put everyone else before me and yet it comes time to just focus on me, I'm uncomfortable. I feel like I am abandoning all that "need" me. My thoughts are consumed by the other person and what they are doing o...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for February 28 speaks about the Third Step and discusses how turning our will and life over to the care of HP helps to relieve anxiety and fear . The reading points out that the Third Step is an ongoing process and is not simply done once and forgotten. It suggests that a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's courage to change reading likens our journey to the functioning of an auto-pilot system in an airplane. It explains that the automatic pilot is in fact only "on course" a small percentage of the time, and the rest of the time is spent meandering across it's course and making adjust...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Growth. I challenge you all to share a word or two to describe your recovery.

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! The 4th Step has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please visit at this web addy: http://stepwork.activeboard.c...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm telling you what just when I get to a point where my blood has calmed that man does something so dang stupid I think I can actually see the fire coming out of my ears we are beyond smoke at this point. This is not my problem it's exactly what my attorney said .. the judge in our case could tell him he's out o...

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon tells us not to give advice and to suggest someone actually leaves their alcoholic partner could be the wrong thing. We don't know all the facts and details enough to ever tell someone to do that. However, it is an option, a choice. We are so sick when we live with active drinking. Our relationshi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Whew I'm glad today is done. There was a luncheon for my Grandmother's 80th today, which involved getting up at the crack of...well, 7:30 which is early for a Sunday, and traveling 3.5 hours to get there, have lunch with a family i have almost nothing to do with these days, and then 3.5 hours home again, u...

jacsuemarie · jacsuemarie

I have been in and out of Al-Anon as well as OA for 20 years. I am finally living some of the promises, but one painful side effect is truly knowing that I'm not willing to live with my husband of 23 years, who has stopped using drugs and alcohol--not completely but mostly--for 3 years but is not in a 12-ste...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I want to share a little about my search for a new job. I've been trying to put "fear of the unknown" in balance and stay true to myself in my search. I had quite a few interviews last week, five of them. Three of these were in person. I prefer conversation over being quizzed about hypothetical...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

sTARTED A NEW JOB ON THURSDAY. 8 HRS COLD CALLING LEAD OBTAINER /SALES OF HOME SERVICES. hATE THE JOB BUT THE LOCATION IS PERFECT AND THE WORKERS NICE. oN tHURSDAY, I WAS RUNNING SORT OF FOR THE BUS AND MY SHOE GOT CAUGHT IN ONE NICHE OF THE SIDEWALK THAT lOS ANGELES NEVER FIXES. bOOM CRASHED TO CEMENT. i SC...

joker · joker

Just reading some Toby Rice Drew material on line and I came up with a brillent idea as to how to deal with my ABF when he is using. Set up clear single boundaries with him for my sanity. He is currently sleeping off another drunk. When he wakes up, I decided that I will tell him to plan his drunk. Get his booze...

LinSC · LinSC

He was only 23, drunk and spaced out on pot.....I was sick just like he was with the disease. Until a sponsor woke me up when she said: "Why is it so hard for you to stop martyring and do whats right for your son. You keep saying how much you love him, then kick him the hell off your couch and let him sink...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf that lives here with me had a woman on the side that use to buy his clothes phones vehicles she married to a veteren lots older than her I found out through his texts their love letter texts this all being 2 yrs ago non stop this other woman would leave me landmines with receipts with her name on them etc e...

Mojo · Mojo

I'm humbly back from too many years away from Alanon. I divorced my husband of 16 years bease his drinking was getting worse. We have 2 beautiful girls who never see their dad because his bottom may be death. Now I'm married to another one. I'm so embarrassed that I would walk right into the insanity a...

lookingup · lookingup

I've found a few strategies when dealing with addicts like ,that's a shame,I'm sorry you feel that way,I'm not attending that issue or talk about that but we can can go for a walk etc,I need all the stratigies I can get to keep my sanity,when the addict starts pointing,blaming wether it directly or indi...

Hillyard · Hillyard

I'm lonely, tired and worn out and for the first time I'm actually thinking about calling it quits in this relationship.

joker · joker

I just had another moment of clarity after reading on fear! My ABF is emotionally blackmailing me! A member had wrote her alcoholic had said god is going to bless us and I added what ABF had said, same words and if we are together, and another member wrote (this man does not want god in his life right now)....

joker · joker

I attended an AA meeting today, needed a 12 step program, was really good and met with a man from the program afterwards and I told him what is happening in my home-ABF drunk behaviors, talking, cheating on me with his ex-wife, (yes, he got a hotel room with her and had sex according to her), he denied that...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for February 27 speaks about the fact that once we begin to participate in Al-Anon recovery, we can learn to trust that HP will assist in mapping out the direction.that our recovery takes. We must simply humbly ask for God's guidance, and for the willingness to follow that gu...

oops35062 · oops35062

I am a two time offender. I qualify for both rooms of AA and Alanon. I met and married a man in the rooms 2 1/2 years ago. He had gotten 8 years in December. Never saw his relapse coming(Or maybe I did and didn;t want to acknowledge it). A little over 48 hours ago my life has been turned upside down. He ha...

manas · manas

My A is in "forced" rehab (we don't really have interventions here). The program is for 3 months and they teach some good things like Yoga, meditation, control tools and techniques, education about Alcoholism, Alcoholics, AA (in house and outside if the person is not likely to run away :-...

el-cee · el-cee

What i mean is. The 'normal' idea society feeds us about how to love is very dangerous, life threatening for an active drinker and the affected partner. We, who end up with alcoholic partners think we love very deeply. Look at all we do, in the name of love. We very often take verbal, maybe physical abuse...

Crau · Crau

It happened. And funny how even with the alchohlic "out" of my life. I am impacted. His counselor called me to get some information about how the week was going. I told him "I don't know I asked him to move out last week", which the counselor had no idea. Hence why I'm still lis...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I have been in a dysfunctional alcoholic marriage for so long that I am not sure sometimes what is an appropriate way of behaving and what is being selfish. I have an opportunity to take a road trip with my sister (with whom I am very close to emotionally but she is 2 states away so we don't get a lot of time t...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I know it sounds like I'm whining... I must be truthful despite my embarrassment of this trait however. I want my AH to do his step work first... he has more time in the program this time and I want HIM to make amends. He isn't. He got his one year coin and proceeded to immediately stop all meetings and...

marniep222 · marniep222

I can't stop the obsessive behaviors that I've managed to have my whole life. No matter how my brain tells me to stop, my heart leads me to more and more trouble. My qualifier, who's been in recovery for 9 years, told me that I'm selfish, I only want what I want, no matter what detriment it may bring to his...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I am just wondering if anyone has had this similar situation and has some good tips on how you were able to detach and not dwell. My AH who had been sober (on his own, no program) for three months had started in the past week to relapse. I knew it was coming and even though I am sad about it and disappointed, I...

stillsmilin321 · stillsmilin321

I am looking for suggestions for how to connect at face to face meetings. I hear "pick up the 1000 lb phone" and "get a sponsor" but I'm really struggling to make connections. I've attended two different groups almost every week since July. The first three months I went mostly t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading shares about being human, making mistakes and growing through the Al-Anon program. We are able to learn from our mistakes, and continue our growth in self-awareness as we progress in the steps. What a gift that we can own our mistakes, make amends and keep moving forward - we can cha...

lookingup · lookingup

"I am right where I'm suppose to "so I told my sister and she interpreted it like you mean your right where God our hp wants you to be allowing my bf to live here with me so my sister says that's wrong,which it is wrong I'm living in sin,but I am where I'm suppose to be right here living in the moment...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C points out that growing up around alcoholism tends to teach us self neglect. (Boy does it ever!) The reading points out that many of us tend to push ourselves to ignore our own well being even when we are ill and simply keep on keeping on. The writer suggests that through al-anon they discove...

joker · joker

Just read some things on emotional blackmail on the board here and one of the things that really struck me is by listening to the ABF is I am giving him attention. By giving him attention I am saying your a great guy with great wisdom and I need to listen as I will learn something from your great wisdom that i...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone It's been a while but I'm doing good. Tomorrow will be the day my son is released from prison and I pray for him to come out ready to start a new and continued life. I am grateful for all of you that has helped me so so much....I will never forget. God bless you all and thank you ((( hugs )))

jvbaker · jvbaker

Hi I've never done this before so I'm not sure where I should start. I have always loved an addict from the time I was a just a young girl. My life has had numerous addicts and I have never been without trying to love one. I became really great at helping people with addiction to alcohol find sobriety. I oft...

joker · joker

I had been reading recovery material this morning and I had a moment of clarity. I need a team of people in my life, not one person. I need a person to do the physical things that require doing, a person to address the mental, emotional, and spiritual. I can not depend on one person to be all these things to m...

joker · joker

I just had another moment of clarity. I was reading on fear on this board and I see that fear has kept me stuck. Fear of rejection, fear of being judged bad, fear of being alone, fear of not being loved, fear of stepping into the unknown, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of abuse, fear of t...

joker · joker

When I met my husband I used to ask him to protect me from her (isn't that crazy and irrational) I felt safe. This quote from a member is what I read on fear and OMG it hit me why I am still with my ABF. I am looking at him for protection, to feel safe! I am looking to my ABF to make me feel safe! I am looking to him to...

joker · joker

Just wanted to share some insights and to let you all know that my daughter appears to be stabilizing on her new medication! I am so grateful! The home front appears stable with her for the moment! The nurse is coming to see her again today! The ABF drank from Thursday to late Saturday night, slept all day...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm finding it hard to stand up for me when it comes to the addicts in my life its like their master manipulates and blamers so therefore I'm the one ,I live with 2 addicts one being my sister and my boyfriend live here with me,and omg it gets bad I'm to blame for everything and because I'm so easy going and go...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

I just wondered if there was any kind of connecting type service with mentors here.... like people who will text and/or skype.

sunflower22 · sunflower22

Hello all, I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years now. He is my drug of choice. Currently he has been sober for 4 months, but not in any recovery or therapy. Our relationship for the past 4 months has been so chaotic. We constantly fight, almost everyday. Our fights are started by him almost 100...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Distressed (Preview) I told my addict bf he needed to go somewhere else to stay awhile until the drama. Settled down around here ,just way to much for me to deal with 2 addicts living in my home is a nightmare,he isn't likening it having to leave but so far he has been nice,I told him he could go to his old bosses house but he said NO...	lookingup	2	549	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Forgotten passwords (Preview) I've lost or forgotten old usernames and passwords for this board,are there any way I can retrieve them back so that I can go back and read my old posts from yrs ago ???? Thank you ,lu ive had at least 3 or 4 usernames and passwords from over the years but don't have them now. Need help please . Lu	lookingup	9	589	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	QUITT JOB (Preview) HIRED FOR 8HR SHIFT COLD CALLING FOR HOME SERVICES COMPANY. LOCATION WAS PERFECT BUT THE NEW OWNERS BREATHED DOWN OUR NECKS. tHERE WERE QUOTAS INPOSSIBLE TO MEET. tHE COMPUTORS KEPT MESSING UP AND THE LEAD GENERATER PROGRAM KEPT CALLING THE SAME PEOPLE. MUCH ITRATATION AND FRUSTRATION, OFFICE NOT...	YARNCRAZY	2	513	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	choices (Preview) I was reading Al-Anon literature this morning and the word Choices came to me. What are my choices? I thought hard about it and came up with a list: 1. Ask for help (call police, domestic violence help line, woman shelter, AA, Al-Anon, sponsor, friend, post on board here, let someone know what is happen...	joker	2	592	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	If only... (Preview) If only I wasn't so passive he said. But what he didn't know is that when I wasn't, he didn't remember or picked a fight or threatened to leave. If only I wasn't so enabling his family said. But they couldn't see was what my day to day life was with him because they were so far away; all the times I put up boun...	Crau	6	651	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do you know when its over (Preview) My husband has relapsed and hes back to his old self. Sweet as can be when sober but mean as all hell (verbally) when drinking. I realize I love only part of him and I hate what he becomes when hes drinking. Hes been completely drunk the last 2 nights and I dont want to be treated that way anymore. Really just...	Britta	3	651	Mar 2, 2016 by Xxtitchxx89
	Hope for Today March 1 (Preview) Today's reading brings up that difficult concept of detaching with love. In the reading it is suggested that this is important for US-- that until we are able to lovingly detach we are bound to the past and moving forward in life is very difficult. The opening sentences are about how the reader saw so...	yanksfan51	6	754	Mar 1, 2016 by Crau
	Could Use Some Help (Preview) Hi Everyone, As some of you know I started a new job last week. It's been an eventful week at the new workplace. As I suspected my new boss is an ACOA. She got word that her biological father died this week. He left her and her brother when they were very small with their mother who was a violent alcoholic. M...	tiredtonite	10	728	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Giving back the problem to alcoholic (Preview) Its been another hellish 5 days of alcoholic using. He came home from work Thursday night and went straight to the bar. He did not come into the house. I went to bed and woke up at 3 am. He was still not home but I had a good laugh. I thought for sure he would make the liquor store before 2 am, he needs his alcohol...	joker	5	685	Mar 1, 2016 by missmeliss
	f2f questions...I left feeling confused tonight (Preview) Hello all, I went to an open meeting and then to a step meeting. Tonight I was at the step meeting for just the second time and shared with the group that I have spoken my peace to my husband this past week. I had told him that I was seeking recovery, that I hoped he would seek it for himself also because my f...	newleaf66	14	789	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	I think he is trying to kill himself!! (Preview) I mean, he was diagnosed with Barretts Esophagus and told to "Wien" off alcohol and lay off pop. So what does he do? Spends the rest of the day after the Upper endoscopy, eating everything in sight. (junk food) And I am not sure, but i THINK he drank a little. Thursday he drank his usual 1/2 a 5th...	Tired-of-it	10	978	Mar 1, 2016 by Jerry F
	Feeling uneasy when things are going smoothly (Preview) I've always been terrible at taking care of myself. Last week I got really sick with a bad cold and I had to stay home from work for a day and for several days I couldn't speak much (lost my voice) and had to take things really slow. I think it was my HPs way of telling me to listen and learn. I listened to my b...	KT2015	3	624	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Intervention..Of sorts (Preview) Sooo, My AH and I are in a church that has small satalite Home Churches, like Bible studies. We get together once a week, and then go to the "big" church on Sunday with other home churches. This keeps it kinda nice, cause you have the feel of a small church when you are within a larger church. I a...	Tired-of-it	6	682	Mar 1, 2016 by Tired-of-it
	New Here (Preview) I'm so glad I found this site. I'm new to this site but not new to alanon. I've been reading a lot of the posts and the words are like water for someone dying of thirst. I work in a treatment center so I'm around just barely treated alcoholism every day...I've got some time in AA, which is where I've spent...	outlandergirl	16	655	Mar 1, 2016 by missmeliss
	Not getting enmeshed (Preview) My addict sister is in another crises with her oldest daughter which is 18 and lives out on her own with a healthy boyfriend,so to try and stay out of the drama and chaos of a/ sister and her being very emotional and crying can't eat,etc all on account of her daughters bad attitude toward her,says her moms...	lookingup	1	569	Feb 29, 2016 by lookingup
	Trying to keep focus on ME , (Preview) Any suggestions would be great as in my working my program as best and as hard as I can and as I have time to do so,I'm asking for Tools and Slogans to get me through tough times as have a addict sister and addict / alcoholic bf living in my home they can both be helpful in some ways both pay their way mostly sist...	lookingup	2	601	Feb 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Asked him to leave. (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm pretty new here, and I am very thankful to the kind people I have already met here. I took a few days away. After my husband came home from detox (long story, but I didn't even know he was an alcoholic he was so highly functional and good at hiding it - then he went through a brutal phys...	Rachel Blue	6	729	Feb 29, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	memories & leap day! (Preview) Gotta get this out: It is leap day & it feels really strange. Don't know how to explain it but then again some days are just strange anyhow. I am so grateful for all of you who shared your experience w/ recovery. I thought it was a pretty good thread myself. So today is full of good memories. I am on my own...	Hoot Nanny	4	546	Feb 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Putting Me First: The struggle is real! (Preview) Why is putting our selves first the most difficult part of this whole thing? I can put everyone else before me and yet it comes time to just focus on me, I'm uncomfortable. I feel like I am abandoning all that "need" me. My thoughts are consumed by the other person and what they are doing o...	Crau	8	799	Feb 29, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Courage to Change 2-28 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for February 28 speaks about the Third Step and discusses how turning our will and life over to the care of HP helps to relieve anxiety and fear . The reading points out that the Third Step is an ongoing process and is not simply done once and forgotten. It suggests that a...	hotrod	11	554	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage To Change 29/2 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading likens our journey to the functioning of an auto-pilot system in an airplane. It explains that the automatic pilot is in fact only "on course" a small percentage of the time, and the rest of the time is spent meandering across it's course and making adjust...	missmeliss	3	506	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	telling my story in one word (Preview) Growth. I challenge you all to share a word or two to describe your recovery.	Hoot Nanny	25	1047	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	4th Step (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! The 4th Step has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please visit at this web addy: http://stepwork.activeboard.c...	hotrod	1	467	Feb 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hell Hath No Fury (Preview) I'm telling you what just when I get to a point where my blood has calmed that man does something so dang stupid I think I can actually see the fire coming out of my ears we are beyond smoke at this point. This is not my problem it's exactly what my attorney said .. the judge in our case could tell him he's out o...	SerenityRUS	4	750	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Is leaving the right or wrong decision? (Preview) Alanon tells us not to give advice and to suggest someone actually leaves their alcoholic partner could be the wrong thing. We don't know all the facts and details enough to ever tell someone to do that. However, it is an option, a choice. We are so sick when we live with active drinking. Our relationshi...	el-cee	9	1413	Feb 28, 2016 by Nana Benny
	Little ramble about nothing much :-) (Preview) Whew I'm glad today is done. There was a luncheon for my Grandmother's 80th today, which involved getting up at the crack of...well, 7:30 which is early for a Sunday, and traveling 3.5 hours to get there, have lunch with a family i have almost nothing to do with these days, and then 3.5 hours home again, u...	missmeliss	6	641	Feb 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	When do you know it's time to leave your alcoholic spouse? jacquievictoria@yahoo.com (Preview) I have been in and out of Al-Anon as well as OA for 20 years. I am finally living some of the promises, but one painful side effect is truly knowing that I'm not willing to live with my husband of 23 years, who has stopped using drugs and alcohol--not completely but mostly--for 3 years but is not in a 12-ste...	jacsuemarie	9	1476	Feb 28, 2016 by LinSC
	Trusting Myself, Trusting Others, Trusting HP (Preview) I want to share a little about my search for a new job. I've been trying to put "fear of the unknown" in balance and stay true to myself in my search. I had quite a few interviews last week, five of them. Three of these were in person. I prefer conversation over being quizzed about hypothetical...	tiredtonite	31	1035	Feb 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	NEW JOB/OUCH (Preview) sTARTED A NEW JOB ON THURSDAY. 8 HRS COLD CALLING LEAD OBTAINER /SALES OF HOME SERVICES. hATE THE JOB BUT THE LOCATION IS PERFECT AND THE WORKERS NICE. oN tHURSDAY, I WAS RUNNING SORT OF FOR THE BUS AND MY SHOE GOT CAUGHT IN ONE NICHE OF THE SIDEWALK THAT lOS ANGELES NEVER FIXES. bOOM CRASHED TO CEMENT. i SC...	YARNCRAZY	5	608	Feb 27, 2016 by Jill
	Setting Boundaries with Alcoholic (Preview) Just reading some Toby Rice Drew material on line and I came up with a brillent idea as to how to deal with my ABF when he is using. Set up clear single boundaries with him for my sanity. He is currently sleeping off another drunk. When he wakes up, I decided that I will tell him to plan his drunk. Get his booze...	joker	4	2187	Feb 27, 2016 by el-cee
	I Was Enabling Him..... (Preview) He was only 23, drunk and spaced out on pot.....I was sick just like he was with the disease. Until a sponsor woke me up when she said: "Why is it so hard for you to stop martyring and do whats right for your son. You keep saying how much you love him, then kick him the hell off your couch and let him sink...	LinSC	5	684	Feb 27, 2016 by Bettina2
	Unhealthy situation (Preview) Abf that lives here with me had a woman on the side that use to buy his clothes phones vehicles she married to a veteren lots older than her I found out through his texts their love letter texts this all being 2 yrs ago non stop this other woman would leave me landmines with receipts with her name on them etc e...	lookingup	11	752	Feb 27, 2016 by Bettina2
	Married another alcoholic (Preview) I'm humbly back from too many years away from Alanon. I divorced my husband of 16 years bease his drinking was getting worse. We have 2 beautiful girls who never see their dad because his bottom may be death. Now I'm married to another one. I'm so embarrassed that I would walk right into the insanity a...	Mojo	14	930	Feb 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Strategies ????? (Preview) I've found a few strategies when dealing with addicts like ,that's a shame,I'm sorry you feel that way,I'm not attending that issue or talk about that but we can can go for a walk etc,I need all the stratigies I can get to keep my sanity,when the addict starts pointing,blaming wether it directly or indi...	lookingup	4	571	Feb 27, 2016 by lookingup
	Spiritually and emotionally drained (Preview) I'm lonely, tired and worn out and for the first time I'm actually thinking about calling it quits in this relationship.	Hillyard	7	826	Feb 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Emotional Blackmail (Preview) I just had another moment of clarity after reading on fear! My ABF is emotionally blackmailing me! A member had wrote her alcoholic had said god is going to bless us and I added what ABF had said, same words and if we are together, and another member wrote (this man does not want god in his life right now)....	joker	3	619	Feb 27, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Just a object (Preview) I attended an AA meeting today, needed a 12 step program, was really good and met with a man from the program afterwards and I told him what is happening in my home-ABF drunk behaviors, talking, cheating on me with his ex-wife, (yes, he got a hotel room with her and had sex according to her), he denied that...	joker	6	668	Feb 27, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change Reading 2- 27 (Preview) The C2C reading for February 27 speaks about the fact that once we begin to participate in Al-Anon recovery, we can learn to trust that HP will assist in mapping out the direction.that our recovery takes. We must simply humbly ask for God's guidance, and for the willingness to follow that gu...	hotrod	1	1038	Feb 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	No defense over the first drink (Preview) I am a two time offender. I qualify for both rooms of AA and Alanon. I met and married a man in the rooms 2 1/2 years ago. He had gotten 8 years in December. Never saw his relapse coming(Or maybe I did and didn;t want to acknowledge it). A little over 48 hours ago my life has been turned upside down. He ha...	oops35062	2	565	Feb 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	A will be out soon; time to let go? (Preview) My A is in "forced" rehab (we don't really have interventions here). The program is for 3 months and they teach some good things like Yoga, meditation, control tools and techniques, education about Alcoholism, Alcoholics, AA (in house and outside if the person is not likely to run away :-...	manas	2	707	Feb 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Are you wrong to 'love' an active alcoholic? (Preview) What i mean is. The 'normal' idea society feeds us about how to love is very dangerous, life threatening for an active drinker and the affected partner. We, who end up with alcoholic partners think we love very deeply. Look at all we do, in the name of love. We very often take verbal, maybe physical abuse...	el-cee	2	598	Feb 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	The dreaded relapse (Preview) It happened. And funny how even with the alchohlic "out" of my life. I am impacted. His counselor called me to get some information about how the week was going. I told him "I don't know I asked him to move out last week", which the counselor had no idea. Hence why I'm still lis...	Crau	3	576	Feb 26, 2016 by hotrod
	Having trouble with personal decisions (Preview) I have been in a dysfunctional alcoholic marriage for so long that I am not sure sometimes what is an appropriate way of behaving and what is being selfish. I have an opportunity to take a road trip with my sister (with whom I am very close to emotionally but she is 2 states away so we don't get a lot of time t...	Bethany66	8	745	Feb 26, 2016 by maryjane
	Feeling like I'm being childish... step 8 (Preview) I know it sounds like I'm whining... I must be truthful despite my embarrassment of this trait however. I want my AH to do his step work first... he has more time in the program this time and I want HIM to make amends. He isn't. He got his one year coin and proceeded to immediately stop all meetings and...	LedfootJenny	8	794	Feb 26, 2016 by LedfootJenny
	Stopping the Insanity (Preview) I can't stop the obsessive behaviors that I've managed to have my whole life. No matter how my brain tells me to stop, my heart leads me to more and more trouble. My qualifier, who's been in recovery for 9 years, told me that I'm selfish, I only want what I want, no matter what detriment it may bring to his...	marniep222	1	357	Feb 26, 2016 by Bettina2
	When he feels guilty (Preview) I am just wondering if anyone has had this similar situation and has some good tips on how you were able to detach and not dwell. My AH who had been sober (on his own, no program) for three months had started in the past week to relapse. I knew it was coming and even though I am sad about it and disappointed, I...	CoopsMom	5	805	Feb 26, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Struggling to connect at f2f meetings (Preview) I am looking for suggestions for how to connect at face to face meetings. I hear "pick up the 1000 lb phone" and "get a sponsor" but I'm really struggling to make connections. I've attended two different groups almost every week since July. The first three months I went mostly t...	stillsmilin321	6	773	Feb 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/26/16 (Preview) Today's reading shares about being human, making mistakes and growing through the Al-Anon program. We are able to learn from our mistakes, and continue our growth in self-awareness as we progress in the steps. What a gift that we can own our mistakes, make amends and keep moving forward - we can cha...	Iamhere	2	684	Feb 26, 2016 by hotrod
	Issues again (Preview) "I am right where I'm suppose to "so I told my sister and she interpreted it like you mean your right where God our hp wants you to be allowing my bf to live here with me so my sister says that's wrong,which it is wrong I'm living in sin,but I am where I'm suppose to be right here living in the moment...	lookingup	3	600	Feb 26, 2016 by lookingup
	Courage To Change 25/2 (Preview) Today's C2C points out that growing up around alcoholism tends to teach us self neglect. (Boy does it ever!) The reading points out that many of us tend to push ourselves to ignore our own well being even when we are ill and simply keep on keeping on. The writer suggests that through al-anon they discove...	missmeliss	4	776	Feb 25, 2016 by KathRN
	Attention to the ABF (Preview) Just read some things on emotional blackmail on the board here and one of the things that really struck me is by listening to the ABF is I am giving him attention. By giving him attention I am saying your a great guy with great wisdom and I need to listen as I will learn something from your great wisdom that i...	joker	1	637	Feb 25, 2016 by milkwood
	2 Years pass quickly (Preview) Hi Everyone It's been a while but I'm doing good. Tomorrow will be the day my son is released from prison and I pray for him to come out ready to start a new and continued life. I am grateful for all of you that has helped me so so much....I will never forget. God bless you all and thank you ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	10	851	Feb 25, 2016 by hotrod
	Grieving the loss of a living addict (Preview) Hi I've never done this before so I'm not sure where I should start. I have always loved an addict from the time I was a just a young girl. My life has had numerous addicts and I have never been without trying to love one. I became really great at helping people with addiction to alcohol find sobriety. I oft...	jvbaker	6	798	Feb 25, 2016 by hotrod
	a team of people (Preview) I had been reading recovery material this morning and I had a moment of clarity. I need a team of people in my life, not one person. I need a person to do the physical things that require doing, a person to address the mental, emotional, and spiritual. I can not depend on one person to be all these things to m...	joker	2	620	Feb 25, 2016 by Freetime
	Control (Preview) I just had another moment of clarity. I was reading on fear on this board and I see that fear has kept me stuck. Fear of rejection, fear of being judged bad, fear of being alone, fear of not being loved, fear of stepping into the unknown, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of abuse, fear of t...	joker	4	655	Feb 25, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Understanding why (Preview) When I met my husband I used to ask him to protect me from her (isn't that crazy and irrational) I felt safe. This quote from a member is what I read on fear and OMG it hit me why I am still with my ABF. I am looking at him for protection, to feel safe! I am looking to my ABF to make me feel safe! I am looking to him to...	joker	0	556	Feb 25, 2016 by joker
	confused (Preview) Just wanted to share some insights and to let you all know that my daughter appears to be stabilizing on her new medication! I am so grateful! The home front appears stable with her for the moment! The nurse is coming to see her again today! The ABF drank from Thursday to late Saturday night, slept all day...	joker	3	627	Feb 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Master manipulaters (Preview) I'm finding it hard to stand up for me when it comes to the addicts in my life its like their master manipulates and blamers so therefore I'm the one ,I live with 2 addicts one being my sister and my boyfriend live here with me,and omg it gets bad I'm to blame for everything and because I'm so easy going and go...	lookingup	7	729	Feb 24, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	mentors (Preview) I just wondered if there was any kind of connecting type service with mentors here.... like people who will text and/or skype.	Rachel Blue	2	451	Feb 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feel trapped in relationship, so depressed (Preview) Hello all, I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years now. He is my drug of choice. Currently he has been sober for 4 months, but not in any recovery or therapy. Our relationship for the past 4 months has been so chaotic. We constantly fight, almost everyday. Our fights are started by him almost 100...	sunflower22	5	3070	Feb 24, 2016 by Mattie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.