Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...

el-cee · el-cee

I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...

CFGirl70 · CFGirl70

I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...

Dawn1118 · Dawn1118

I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...

joker · joker

I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...

Fooled · Fooled

I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...

el-cee · el-cee

Self pity has been such a destructive, negative shortcoming for me. Feeling like the victim of my relationships has kept me guarded and defensive and it keeps people out of my life. Its fear based and its a choice for me. For example if someone is short or curt with me I can go into my old pattern of feeling...

lookingup · lookingup

He cooked a nice breakfast and got his things together and loaded in his car,said his goodbyes ,bittersweet I guess is how I see it,it is hard for me to except him for who he is what he has become he was doing so good staying sober 2 years ago with no recovery program it's like he went into a tail spin and down h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

We had a great day together -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 1st of March 2016 04:13:47 PM

joker · joker

I was thinking of acceptance and I came up with a list of behaviors that active alcoholism displays and when it happens I should not be surprised. 1. They will lie right to your face they are not drunk or drinking 2. The drinks is more important than anything in the world 3. They will steal, borrow (if low...

joker · joker

I have been working really hard on staying focused on myself and reading a lot of al-anon literature, AA big book and just trying to let go. I got the best news today from my ABF, he is working this weekend! I am so, so happy! I am so fed up with this drinking and talking to himself and being drunk 24 hours a day...

Just Kris · Just Kris

Hello, I'm new here. I am so appreciative of the online option because I know I'd get the 3rd degree of questioning if I attempted to go to face-to-face meetings. My husband is very anti-counseling or anti-tell others about our problems. The short version is this is my second marriage. My first wa...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Stood up to boyfriend yesterday for behavior of his towards me that i felt was unacceptable. Looking out for number one-ME. Wont bore you with many detailes. Just that boyfriend had angry exchange with strange woman i didnt know about money. Saw a side of boyfriend had never seen.. He hastly decided t...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

This morning I was driving to work and the "Stand By You" song came on by (Rachel Planten? Maybe) I heard the following line-- "I'm going to stand by you, even if I don't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you..." My first thought was, "Oh, she needs al-anon."...

joker · joker

I just had a moment of clarity. Who am I? I see that I try and hide myself to please others. I want others to see me in a good light! I am afraid of people seeing my anger! I am an angry, angry person. I try and not show that side to anyone! I am afraid to stand up for me, say that I am angry, that I do not deserve this!...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Got out of bed at 5:30Am to walk the puppies in the morning first light and then back into the house to do the other stuff; you know the support the spouse stuff and take care of myself stuff and now I'm disappointed? Made breakfast (cooking style) and served it with fresh coffee and then when it was d...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I began live classes this week and OH what a difference to my spirit already. It's SO good to have a reason to get dressed, take a little pride in my appearance, converse with real people, it's magic. it's been a long, long stretch of on-line study (It was never meant to happen and ended up stretching for 7...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses Step 4, and how it brings about the awareness of our part in the disease. The writer shares that much of their behavior was extremely immature and then goes on to share a lovely list of what they consider mature behavior. While the answer may be different for each of us, askin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There's a lady who lives directly opposite me who has some clear mental health issues. I feel for her, she's sweet and friendly one minute and then in the middle of the street screaming and arguing with rocks, or thin air, or her own foot, or...you get the idea. Schizophrenia or something alike I guess,...

joker · joker

Drama, drama, never ends with my ABF. He is back at work and I have kept my distance and conversations to a minimum. I do not want to hear any more lies and BS from him. I did text him and said clearly, you need to drink elsewhere (hotel room or elsewhere) as I can not deal with your drinking anymore. As you kn...

lookingup · lookingup

What if h don't leave?theres my what ifs again,he may not,I'll just ask him nicely again? Then he will still try to use me ,my being nice etc,,,good hearted ness and my sister will fall sorry or bad for him ,I done talked to her about it and told her to not say a thing when I ask him to leave she bad to say ...I'm...

lookingup · lookingup

My thoughts are .....your not working,don't work,you got it made here just constantly studying on where his next hit is gonna come from or how he is gonna afford it ,beer in my fridge ,and not a cent for a pack of cigs,I feel played like a fiddle ,and he ain't letting up,. Now my thinking is I'm sick of this ,...

lookingup · lookingup

S-save M-motherO-obsessO-ownT-take abuseH-HP (be his or let him be your tin God)E-expectR-react What's the opposites to these ? Please any body ?? Gonna be my tool for today,,,,,my abf not wanting to leave he is being so nice and helpful,and I'm feeling bad sorry for him,but I need my...

lookingup · lookingup

So many diff. Personalities going on at once ,sister is fine now after a nite of drama and chaos with daughter,she is running about acting and talking very positive things she is gonna do,which I've heard the wind blow before,and abf has retired to bed early afternoon when his car didn't sale and no mon...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's reading discusses the marvelous tool that is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) and what a benefit it has been to the writer's life. It points out that although opening up to others took time and multiple meetings, she was able to engage with the program from the very beginning by reading t...

Xxtitchxx89 · Xxtitchxx89

rehab ahhh :( My partner when to rehab today we have been together 5 years have a 2 and a half year old, basically since I have know him alcohol and drugs have been a big part of his life that's got a lot worse the last two years where he will literally go on a 3 or maybe 4 day binge have a hangover for 3 days then d...

lookingup · lookingup

Sit and wonder,lol I have to laugh about it cause I'm so darn exhausted abf will be here until tomorrow,I know a lot of you prolly remembers him ,he is my ex old abf from way back in 2009 I have been rereading old posts from back then I went under diff. Usernames all them posts and replies were all still intac...

lookingup · lookingup

meetings...........?????????>>>>>>

lookingup · lookingup

I told my addict bf he needed to go somewhere else to stay awhile until the drama. Settled down around here ,just way to much for me to deal with 2 addicts living in my home is a nightmare,he isn't likening it having to leave but so far he has been nice,I told him he could go to his old bosses house but he said NO...

lookingup · lookingup

I've lost or forgotten old usernames and passwords for this board,are there any way I can retrieve them back so that I can go back and read my old posts from yrs ago ???? Thank you ,lu ive had at least 3 or 4 usernames and passwords from over the years but don't have them now. Need help please . Lu

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

HIRED FOR 8HR SHIFT COLD CALLING FOR HOME SERVICES COMPANY. LOCATION WAS PERFECT BUT THE NEW OWNERS BREATHED DOWN OUR NECKS. tHERE WERE QUOTAS INPOSSIBLE TO MEET. tHE COMPUTORS KEPT MESSING UP AND THE LEAD GENERATER PROGRAM KEPT CALLING THE SAME PEOPLE. MUCH ITRATATION AND FRUSTRATION, OFFICE NOT...

joker · joker

I was reading Al-Anon literature this morning and the word Choices came to me. What are my choices? I thought hard about it and came up with a list: 1. Ask for help (call police, domestic violence help line, woman shelter, AA, Al-Anon, sponsor, friend, post on board here, let someone know what is happen...

Crau · Crau

If only I wasn't so passive he said. But what he didn't know is that when I wasn't, he didn't remember or picked a fight or threatened to leave. If only I wasn't so enabling his family said. But they couldn't see was what my day to day life was with him because they were so far away; all the times I put up boun...

Britta · Britta

My husband has relapsed and hes back to his old self. Sweet as can be when sober but mean as all hell (verbally) when drinking. I realize I love only part of him and I hate what he becomes when hes drinking. Hes been completely drunk the last 2 nights and I dont want to be treated that way anymore. Really just...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading brings up that difficult concept of detaching with love. In the reading it is suggested that this is important for US-- that until we are able to lovingly detach we are bound to the past and moving forward in life is very difficult. The opening sentences are about how the reader saw so...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, As some of you know I started a new job last week. It's been an eventful week at the new workplace. As I suspected my new boss is an ACOA. She got word that her biological father died this week. He left her and her brother when they were very small with their mother who was a violent alcoholic. M...

joker · joker

Its been another hellish 5 days of alcoholic using. He came home from work Thursday night and went straight to the bar. He did not come into the house. I went to bed and woke up at 3 am. He was still not home but I had a good laugh. I thought for sure he would make the liquor store before 2 am, he needs his alcohol...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, I went to an open meeting and then to a step meeting. Tonight I was at the step meeting for just the second time and shared with the group that I have spoken my peace to my husband this past week. I had told him that I was seeking recovery, that I hoped he would seek it for himself also because my f...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

I mean, he was diagnosed with Barretts Esophagus and told to "Wien" off alcohol and lay off pop. So what does he do? Spends the rest of the day after the Upper endoscopy, eating everything in sight. (junk food) And I am not sure, but i THINK he drank a little. Thursday he drank his usual 1/2 a 5th...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've always been terrible at taking care of myself. Last week I got really sick with a bad cold and I had to stay home from work for a day and for several days I couldn't speak much (lost my voice) and had to take things really slow. I think it was my HPs way of telling me to listen and learn. I listened to my b...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

Sooo, My AH and I are in a church that has small satalite Home Churches, like Bible studies. We get together once a week, and then go to the "big" church on Sunday with other home churches. This keeps it kinda nice, cause you have the feel of a small church when you are within a larger church. I a...

outlandergirl · outlandergirl

I'm so glad I found this site. I'm new to this site but not new to alanon. I've been reading a lot of the posts and the words are like water for someone dying of thirst. I work in a treatment center so I'm around just barely treated alcoholism every day...I've got some time in AA, which is where I've spent...

lookingup · lookingup

My addict sister is in another crises with her oldest daughter which is 18 and lives out on her own with a healthy boyfriend,so to try and stay out of the drama and chaos of a/ sister and her being very emotional and crying can't eat,etc all on account of her daughters bad attitude toward her,says her moms...

lookingup · lookingup

Any suggestions would be great as in my working my program as best and as hard as I can and as I have time to do so,I'm asking for Tools and Slogans to get me through tough times as have a addict sister and addict / alcoholic bf living in my home they can both be helpful in some ways both pay their way mostly sist...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

Hello everyone. I'm pretty new here, and I am very thankful to the kind people I have already met here. I took a few days away. After my husband came home from detox (long story, but I didn't even know he was an alcoholic he was so highly functional and good at hiding it - then he went through a brutal phys...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Gotta get this out: It is leap day & it feels really strange. Don't know how to explain it but then again some days are just strange anyhow. I am so grateful for all of you who shared your experience w/ recovery. I thought it was a pretty good thread myself. So today is full of good memories. I am on my own...

Crau · Crau

Why is putting our selves first the most difficult part of this whole thing? I can put everyone else before me and yet it comes time to just focus on me, I'm uncomfortable. I feel like I am abandoning all that "need" me. My thoughts are consumed by the other person and what they are doing o...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for February 28 speaks about the Third Step and discusses how turning our will and life over to the care of HP helps to relieve anxiety and fear . The reading points out that the Third Step is an ongoing process and is not simply done once and forgotten. It suggests that a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's courage to change reading likens our journey to the functioning of an auto-pilot system in an airplane. It explains that the automatic pilot is in fact only "on course" a small percentage of the time, and the rest of the time is spent meandering across it's course and making adjust...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Growth. I challenge you all to share a word or two to describe your recovery.

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! The 4th Step has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please visit at this web addy: http://stepwork.activeboard.c...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm telling you what just when I get to a point where my blood has calmed that man does something so dang stupid I think I can actually see the fire coming out of my ears we are beyond smoke at this point. This is not my problem it's exactly what my attorney said .. the judge in our case could tell him he's out o...

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon tells us not to give advice and to suggest someone actually leaves their alcoholic partner could be the wrong thing. We don't know all the facts and details enough to ever tell someone to do that. However, it is an option, a choice. We are so sick when we live with active drinking. Our relationshi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Whew I'm glad today is done. There was a luncheon for my Grandmother's 80th today, which involved getting up at the crack of...well, 7:30 which is early for a Sunday, and traveling 3.5 hours to get there, have lunch with a family i have almost nothing to do with these days, and then 3.5 hours home again, u...

jacsuemarie · jacsuemarie

I have been in and out of Al-Anon as well as OA for 20 years. I am finally living some of the promises, but one painful side effect is truly knowing that I'm not willing to live with my husband of 23 years, who has stopped using drugs and alcohol--not completely but mostly--for 3 years but is not in a 12-ste...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I want to share a little about my search for a new job. I've been trying to put "fear of the unknown" in balance and stay true to myself in my search. I had quite a few interviews last week, five of them. Three of these were in person. I prefer conversation over being quizzed about hypothetical...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change reading 3-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 5 speaks about how we feel when we begin working the Steps It acknowledges all l the " irrational fear" we hav regarding having our "character defects" removed. It points out that many of us thought we would end like a chunk of Swiss cheese" compl...	hotrod	1	448	Mar 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Judgements (Preview) Personally to me judgements do not help only hinder growth, if i feel judged i feel hurt and/or rejected, i need to remember that for others too Especially in recovery. I am not very judgmental so its not as hard for me Except maybe about my Xah then my judgements come out in full force They are based on my...	Mirandac	5	532	Mar 4, 2016 by Mirandac
	Humility (Preview) I got a bit of a reminder yesterday, from a drinker in my life, that this disease is still alive and well and waiting for my guard to drop. I got an invitation to rush in and ' help' i was tempted. When its your son, its like these Mother alarm bells that ring. I was conditioned by my own upbringing along with s...	el-cee	7	562	Mar 4, 2016 by LinSC
	Need advice... (Preview) I have been married for 20 years, however for the last year my husband and I have been separated. We have been living separately since last January. After 4 years of dealing with his alcoholism, I filed for divorce. He has not hit rock bottom, despite 3 detoxes, 2 inpatient rehabs, losing me and his dau...	CFGirl70	4	576	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Everything really happens for a reason .. (Preview) I don't have to like it or even agree with it however it really does. It's always a bigger picture thing than I can see. My assignment ended so that kind of sucks however it's ok to. It was starting to feel really painful just the whole waiting thing. The best thing about the job is the people and I know t...	SerenityRUS	5	612	Mar 4, 2016 by newleaf66
	change kicks up the anxiety doesn't it? (Preview) I wanted space. Peace. Freedom to think what I want, manage my day in my own way, have my relationships, talk to who I'd like and not be micromanaged. I asked for it and more. I put in a boundary. So far, my AH is either respecting it or just ignoring me for punishment. Either way...I have some room no...	newleaf66	9	683	Mar 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am new here (Preview) I need some guidance.....I am leaving my husband after 39 years and I feel guilty. I am 60 he is 65. He is an addict in every sense of the word and I have been a co-dependent all these years. I have finally gotten the nerve to tell him I want out. I am and have had counseling for the last 20 years and I have l...	Dawn1118	7	767	Mar 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	Obsessing again (Preview) I have been obsessing about the alcoholic. I want to call him and really see if he is at work. My mind keeps saying he is lying about working and he drinking. Last night I was obsessed that I texted him and texted him. He finally called and he was mad. He said I am not drinking and I am in the town by his camp, whe...	joker	2	595	Mar 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/4/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about the Slogan "THINK". The writer suggests that it caused confusion in the beginning as we are told through the ESH of others that our own stinking thinking often caused us problems in our daily life. The writers says clarity for this slogan came when he/she heard a...	Iamhere	1	549	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
	New to this but not new to dealing with it (Preview) I am just lost. My anxiety is just out of control. Trust is gone. I am angry. I was directed to this forum by my Husbands sobriety coach. He has been out of inpatient about a month. I could not go to the facility family discharge program because I couldn't get the time off work and they only offe...	Fooled	5	573	Mar 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Self pity is the enemy (Preview) Self pity has been such a destructive, negative shortcoming for me. Feeling like the victim of my relationships has kept me guarded and defensive and it keeps people out of my life. Its fear based and its a choice for me. For example if someone is short or curt with me I can go into my old pattern of feeling...	el-cee	15	1787	Mar 4, 2016 by el-cee
	Abf has moved out (Preview) He cooked a nice breakfast and got his things together and loaded in his car,said his goodbyes ,bittersweet I guess is how I see it,it is hard for me to except him for who he is what he has become he was doing so good staying sober 2 years ago with no recovery program it's like he went into a tail spin and down h...	lookingup	4	566	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Pina Air Museum (Preview) We had a great day together -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 1st of March 2016 04:13:47 PM	Cathyinaz	10	746	Mar 3, 2016 by Jen61
	active alcoholism behaviors (Preview) I was thinking of acceptance and I came up with a list of behaviors that active alcoholism displays and when it happens I should not be surprised. 1. They will lie right to your face they are not drunk or drinking 2. The drinks is more important than anything in the world 3. They will steal, borrow (if low...	joker	9	725	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	Feeling of joy (Preview) I have been working really hard on staying focused on myself and reading a lot of al-anon literature, AA big book and just trying to let go. I got the best news today from my ABF, he is working this weekend! I am so, so happy! I am so fed up with this drinking and talking to himself and being drunk 24 hours a day...	joker	1	551	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	New here - introducing myself (Preview) Hello, I'm new here. I am so appreciative of the online option because I know I'd get the 3rd degree of questioning if I attempted to go to face-to-face meetings. My husband is very anti-counseling or anti-tell others about our problems. The short version is this is my second marriage. My first wa...	Just Kris	4	631	Mar 3, 2016 by Mattie
	PROUD OF SELF (Preview) Stood up to boyfriend yesterday for behavior of his towards me that i felt was unacceptable. Looking out for number one-ME. Wont bore you with many detailes. Just that boyfriend had angry exchange with strange woman i didnt know about money. Saw a side of boyfriend had never seen.. He hastly decided t...	YARNCRAZY	1	422	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Funny of the day. (Preview) This morning I was driving to work and the "Stand By You" song came on by (Rachel Planten? Maybe) I heard the following line-- "I'm going to stand by you, even if I don't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you..." My first thought was, "Oh, she needs al-anon."...	Bloodshotbetty	5	567	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	who am I (Preview) I just had a moment of clarity. Who am I? I see that I try and hide myself to please others. I want others to see me in a good light! I am afraid of people seeing my anger! I am an angry, angry person. I try and not show that side to anyone! I am afraid to stand up for me, say that I am angry, that I do not deserve this!...	joker	2	416	Mar 3, 2016 by missmeliss
	Hurt?....not quite...disappointed? let me tell you. (Preview) Got out of bed at 5:30Am to walk the puppies in the morning first light and then back into the house to do the other stuff; you know the support the spouse stuff and take care of myself stuff and now I'm disappointed? Made breakfast (cooking style) and served it with fresh coffee and then when it was d...	Jerry F	14	681	Mar 3, 2016 by el-cee
	And in happier news... (Preview) I began live classes this week and OH what a difference to my spirit already. It's SO good to have a reason to get dressed, take a little pride in my appearance, converse with real people, it's magic. it's been a long, long stretch of on-line study (It was never meant to happen and ended up stretching for 7...	missmeliss	2	519	Mar 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses Step 4, and how it brings about the awareness of our part in the disease. The writer shares that much of their behavior was extremely immature and then goes on to share a lovely list of what they consider mature behavior. While the answer may be different for each of us, askin...	Iamhere	3	500	Mar 3, 2016 by newleaf66
	Look at all these circuses that aren't mine!!! (Preview) There's a lady who lives directly opposite me who has some clear mental health issues. I feel for her, she's sweet and friendly one minute and then in the middle of the street screaming and arguing with rocks, or thin air, or her own foot, or...you get the idea. Schizophrenia or something alike I guess,...	missmeliss	3	527	Mar 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Not talking the blame (Preview) Drama, drama, never ends with my ABF. He is back at work and I have kept my distance and conversations to a minimum. I do not want to hear any more lies and BS from him. I did text him and said clearly, you need to drink elsewhere (hotel room or elsewhere) as I can not deal with your drinking anymore. As you kn...	joker	0	464	Mar 3, 2016 by joker
	What if he don't leave,jade is what I'm useing (Preview) What if h don't leave?theres my what ifs again,he may not,I'll just ask him nicely again? Then he will still try to use me ,my being nice etc,,,good hearted ness and my sister will fall sorry or bad for him ,I done talked to her about it and told her to not say a thing when I ask him to leave she bad to say ...I'm...	lookingup	0	450	Mar 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Am I having stinking thinking or what (Preview) My thoughts are .....your not working,don't work,you got it made here just constantly studying on where his next hit is gonna come from or how he is gonna afford it ,beer in my fridge ,and not a cent for a pack of cigs,I feel played like a fiddle ,and he ain't letting up,. Now my thinking is I'm sick of this ,...	lookingup	0	420	Mar 3, 2016 by lookingup
	My tools for today (Preview) S-save M-motherO-obsessO-ownT-take abuseH-HP (be his or let him be your tin God)E-expectR-react What's the opposites to these ? Please any body ?? Gonna be my tool for today,,,,,my abf not wanting to leave he is being so nice and helpful,and I'm feeling bad sorry for him,but I need my...	lookingup	3	449	Mar 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Updates on me (Preview) So many diff. Personalities going on at once ,sister is fine now after a nite of drama and chaos with daughter,she is running about acting and talking very positive things she is gonna do,which I've heard the wind blow before,and abf has retired to bed early afternoon when his car didn't sale and no mon...	lookingup	4	487	Mar 3, 2016 by Bettina2
	Courage To Change 2/3 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the marvelous tool that is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) and what a benefit it has been to the writer's life. It points out that although opening up to others took time and multiple meetings, she was able to engage with the program from the very beginning by reading t...	missmeliss	5	628	Mar 2, 2016 by Shakti
	Partner rehab ahhh (Preview) rehab ahhh :( My partner when to rehab today we have been together 5 years have a 2 and a half year old, basically since I have know him alcohol and drugs have been a big part of his life that's got a lot worse the last two years where he will literally go on a 3 or maybe 4 day binge have a hangover for 3 days then d...	Xxtitchxx89	14	701	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm exhausted doing nothing (Preview) Sit and wonder,lol I have to laugh about it cause I'm so darn exhausted abf will be here until tomorrow,I know a lot of you prolly remembers him ,he is my ex old abf from way back in 2009 I have been rereading old posts from back then I went under diff. Usernames all them posts and replies were all still intac...	lookingup	0	659	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Phone meetings (Preview) meetings...........?????????>>>>>>	lookingup	4	2019	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Distressed (Preview) I told my addict bf he needed to go somewhere else to stay awhile until the drama. Settled down around here ,just way to much for me to deal with 2 addicts living in my home is a nightmare,he isn't likening it having to leave but so far he has been nice,I told him he could go to his old bosses house but he said NO...	lookingup	2	458	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Forgotten passwords (Preview) I've lost or forgotten old usernames and passwords for this board,are there any way I can retrieve them back so that I can go back and read my old posts from yrs ago ???? Thank you ,lu ive had at least 3 or 4 usernames and passwords from over the years but don't have them now. Need help please . Lu	lookingup	9	499	Mar 2, 2016 by lookingup
	QUITT JOB (Preview) HIRED FOR 8HR SHIFT COLD CALLING FOR HOME SERVICES COMPANY. LOCATION WAS PERFECT BUT THE NEW OWNERS BREATHED DOWN OUR NECKS. tHERE WERE QUOTAS INPOSSIBLE TO MEET. tHE COMPUTORS KEPT MESSING UP AND THE LEAD GENERATER PROGRAM KEPT CALLING THE SAME PEOPLE. MUCH ITRATATION AND FRUSTRATION, OFFICE NOT...	YARNCRAZY	2	404	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	choices (Preview) I was reading Al-Anon literature this morning and the word Choices came to me. What are my choices? I thought hard about it and came up with a list: 1. Ask for help (call police, domestic violence help line, woman shelter, AA, Al-Anon, sponsor, friend, post on board here, let someone know what is happen...	joker	2	488	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	If only... (Preview) If only I wasn't so passive he said. But what he didn't know is that when I wasn't, he didn't remember or picked a fight or threatened to leave. If only I wasn't so enabling his family said. But they couldn't see was what my day to day life was with him because they were so far away; all the times I put up boun...	Crau	6	559	Mar 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do you know when its over (Preview) My husband has relapsed and hes back to his old self. Sweet as can be when sober but mean as all hell (verbally) when drinking. I realize I love only part of him and I hate what he becomes when hes drinking. Hes been completely drunk the last 2 nights and I dont want to be treated that way anymore. Really just...	Britta	3	545	Mar 2, 2016 by Xxtitchxx89
	Hope for Today March 1 (Preview) Today's reading brings up that difficult concept of detaching with love. In the reading it is suggested that this is important for US-- that until we are able to lovingly detach we are bound to the past and moving forward in life is very difficult. The opening sentences are about how the reader saw so...	yanksfan51	6	654	Mar 1, 2016 by Crau
	Could Use Some Help (Preview) Hi Everyone, As some of you know I started a new job last week. It's been an eventful week at the new workplace. As I suspected my new boss is an ACOA. She got word that her biological father died this week. He left her and her brother when they were very small with their mother who was a violent alcoholic. M...	tiredtonite	10	635	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Giving back the problem to alcoholic (Preview) Its been another hellish 5 days of alcoholic using. He came home from work Thursday night and went straight to the bar. He did not come into the house. I went to bed and woke up at 3 am. He was still not home but I had a good laugh. I thought for sure he would make the liquor store before 2 am, he needs his alcohol...	joker	5	583	Mar 1, 2016 by missmeliss
	f2f questions...I left feeling confused tonight (Preview) Hello all, I went to an open meeting and then to a step meeting. Tonight I was at the step meeting for just the second time and shared with the group that I have spoken my peace to my husband this past week. I had told him that I was seeking recovery, that I hoped he would seek it for himself also because my f...	newleaf66	14	687	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	I think he is trying to kill himself!! (Preview) I mean, he was diagnosed with Barretts Esophagus and told to "Wien" off alcohol and lay off pop. So what does he do? Spends the rest of the day after the Upper endoscopy, eating everything in sight. (junk food) And I am not sure, but i THINK he drank a little. Thursday he drank his usual 1/2 a 5th...	Tired-of-it	10	887	Mar 1, 2016 by Jerry F
	Feeling uneasy when things are going smoothly (Preview) I've always been terrible at taking care of myself. Last week I got really sick with a bad cold and I had to stay home from work for a day and for several days I couldn't speak much (lost my voice) and had to take things really slow. I think it was my HPs way of telling me to listen and learn. I listened to my b...	KT2015	3	528	Mar 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Intervention..Of sorts (Preview) Sooo, My AH and I are in a church that has small satalite Home Churches, like Bible studies. We get together once a week, and then go to the "big" church on Sunday with other home churches. This keeps it kinda nice, cause you have the feel of a small church when you are within a larger church. I a...	Tired-of-it	6	597	Mar 1, 2016 by Tired-of-it
	New Here (Preview) I'm so glad I found this site. I'm new to this site but not new to alanon. I've been reading a lot of the posts and the words are like water for someone dying of thirst. I work in a treatment center so I'm around just barely treated alcoholism every day...I've got some time in AA, which is where I've spent...	outlandergirl	16	568	Mar 1, 2016 by missmeliss
	Not getting enmeshed (Preview) My addict sister is in another crises with her oldest daughter which is 18 and lives out on her own with a healthy boyfriend,so to try and stay out of the drama and chaos of a/ sister and her being very emotional and crying can't eat,etc all on account of her daughters bad attitude toward her,says her moms...	lookingup	1	459	Feb 29, 2016 by lookingup
	Trying to keep focus on ME , (Preview) Any suggestions would be great as in my working my program as best and as hard as I can and as I have time to do so,I'm asking for Tools and Slogans to get me through tough times as have a addict sister and addict / alcoholic bf living in my home they can both be helpful in some ways both pay their way mostly sist...	lookingup	2	503	Feb 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Asked him to leave. (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm pretty new here, and I am very thankful to the kind people I have already met here. I took a few days away. After my husband came home from detox (long story, but I didn't even know he was an alcoholic he was so highly functional and good at hiding it - then he went through a brutal phys...	Rachel Blue	6	634	Feb 29, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	memories & leap day! (Preview) Gotta get this out: It is leap day & it feels really strange. Don't know how to explain it but then again some days are just strange anyhow. I am so grateful for all of you who shared your experience w/ recovery. I thought it was a pretty good thread myself. So today is full of good memories. I am on my own...	Hoot Nanny	4	455	Feb 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Putting Me First: The struggle is real! (Preview) Why is putting our selves first the most difficult part of this whole thing? I can put everyone else before me and yet it comes time to just focus on me, I'm uncomfortable. I feel like I am abandoning all that "need" me. My thoughts are consumed by the other person and what they are doing o...	Crau	8	699	Feb 29, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Courage to Change 2-28 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for February 28 speaks about the Third Step and discusses how turning our will and life over to the care of HP helps to relieve anxiety and fear . The reading points out that the Third Step is an ongoing process and is not simply done once and forgotten. It suggests that a...	hotrod	11	463	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage To Change 29/2 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading likens our journey to the functioning of an auto-pilot system in an airplane. It explains that the automatic pilot is in fact only "on course" a small percentage of the time, and the rest of the time is spent meandering across it's course and making adjust...	missmeliss	3	406	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	telling my story in one word (Preview) Growth. I challenge you all to share a word or two to describe your recovery.	Hoot Nanny	25	933	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	4th Step (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! The 4th Step has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please visit at this web addy: http://stepwork.activeboard.c...	hotrod	1	364	Feb 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hell Hath No Fury (Preview) I'm telling you what just when I get to a point where my blood has calmed that man does something so dang stupid I think I can actually see the fire coming out of my ears we are beyond smoke at this point. This is not my problem it's exactly what my attorney said .. the judge in our case could tell him he's out o...	SerenityRUS	4	651	Feb 29, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Is leaving the right or wrong decision? (Preview) Alanon tells us not to give advice and to suggest someone actually leaves their alcoholic partner could be the wrong thing. We don't know all the facts and details enough to ever tell someone to do that. However, it is an option, a choice. We are so sick when we live with active drinking. Our relationshi...	el-cee	9	1096	Feb 28, 2016 by Nana Benny
	Little ramble about nothing much :-) (Preview) Whew I'm glad today is done. There was a luncheon for my Grandmother's 80th today, which involved getting up at the crack of...well, 7:30 which is early for a Sunday, and traveling 3.5 hours to get there, have lunch with a family i have almost nothing to do with these days, and then 3.5 hours home again, u...	missmeliss	6	532	Feb 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	When do you know it's time to leave your alcoholic spouse? jacquievictoria@yahoo.com (Preview) I have been in and out of Al-Anon as well as OA for 20 years. I am finally living some of the promises, but one painful side effect is truly knowing that I'm not willing to live with my husband of 23 years, who has stopped using drugs and alcohol--not completely but mostly--for 3 years but is not in a 12-ste...	jacsuemarie	9	1362	Feb 28, 2016 by LinSC
	Trusting Myself, Trusting Others, Trusting HP (Preview) I want to share a little about my search for a new job. I've been trying to put "fear of the unknown" in balance and stay true to myself in my search. I had quite a few interviews last week, five of them. Three of these were in person. I prefer conversation over being quizzed about hypothetical...	tiredtonite	31	935	Feb 28, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.