Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...

kspec85 · kspec85

I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...

Gailsy · Gailsy

I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...

Delta40 · Delta40

Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...

Wife321 · Wife321

Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...

Jennyp · Jennyp

So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i read the posts on this board every day 2xs a day. After reading some more of the painful episodes our fellow members have been going through, I realize how grateful i am. Im grateful with my hp f2f and all of you here, that im doing ok. I wake up every morning after a good night sleep[mostly],dont have to b...

Gardening · Gardening

Hello all, I joined recently and posted a thread introducing myself. I'm engaged to an alcoholic and shortly after I joined this forum we had a large fight. I got off of work early and went to his work to see him. He was sitting in his truck at work drinking, he works at a place where we both are also keep s...

manas · manas

My A is out of rehab (out on 12th March) . I am slowly detaching. I gave him my attention for these few days. Now, I am back to working my first full day in office. Usually, when I come home, he is just like a kid but dull. Forcing me to take him out and so on. But from 2-3 days, he is sleeping heavily and at odd hour...

lookingup · lookingup

Yes I haven't been able so to grab any alanon tools up to deal with my a sis,I ended up leavening my home for the day to get my balance back and to take some deep breaths before I exploded on her which I didn't but I did feed all up into her mess with blaming me for everything i.e,I'm stealing from her,I'm snoop...

acook · acook

My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years. We have 3 children in their 20s who are grown and out of the house. My husband has always been a heavier drinker than I am. I am not a teetotaler by any means, but hardly ever get buzzed and can count on one hand (with leftover fingers) how many times I...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Sometimes i wonde if watching out for myself backfires. I quit my 2nd job in a month yesterday. It was a stinky job,really low but i reasoned that a job was a job. it was selling over the phone fake male enhancement pills to old men. it was an easy bus ride to the office but Im not a liar so it was hard to sell fal...

manas · manas

My A is out of forced rehab. I am consciously applying my newly learned Al Anon tools. Challenging, because his behavior is already unpredictable. I am not pushing anything, letting things flow, yet making my point once so that he knows that there are new boundaries. He enjoyed his first hour of freed...

kspec85 · kspec85

I apologize in advance for a long post. My fianc was 10 months clean when all of a sudden he suffered a freak accident and had to go into emergency surgery. I was proud that the whole day leading up to it (we did not yet know he would need surgery) he refused all narcotics and was honest with the staff that he w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's courage to change reading speaks about the pitfalls of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our recovery. It suggests that if we develop idealised standards about how we are supposed to be when we are 'recovered" then we are likely to become dissapointed and unhappy. It s...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm reaching out because I really feel like I'm in a low place in my life. Quick background on me. I left my AH 2 years ago. I chose to walk away from the home I own because he wouldn't stay gone when I asked him to leave. There's a lot of financial issues mai...

Stella1 · Stella1

Hi! :) I'm new to this site and I hope I'm doing this right.My common-law husband is an incredibly mean drunk. He says the most hurtful things to me when he's drinking. He verbally attacks me and incredibly enough he verbally attacks my dog too (Who, incidentally, is an incredibly well behaved husky)....

tim0398 · tim0398

Well where do I begin, For the last 3 years my bf has been having issues with drinking. He was having outbursts and then having explosive ( call episodes) where he would fall over the place, be angry, black out, didn't know who I was or where he was. Last October I didn't know he was drunk, thought he was hav...

Crau · Crau

my exAbf and I are really good at sinking back into old patterns and staying connected through breaking up. the perks of an on-again-of-again relationship is that you have practive for breaking up each time (said with much sarcasm). thing is we never were good at breaking up. we'd be togther for years...

KT2015 · KT2015

We have friends we see regularly and the wife drinks frequently. When she drinks her behaviour annoys my AH. Yet sometimes it is the exact type of behaviour that he exhibits himself when he is drinking. So we have been talking about going on a vacation with them and he and her were texting back and forth a...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

First of all my son (37) is not a qualifier. However, he has been non-communicative since I left his Father 18 months ago. Early on he responded to an email that he did not want involved in our stuff that he had enough stuff of his own to deal with. I have respected that and never mention his dad. It has bee...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't know if I have shared the debacle that has been this job I've been applying for is either going to be the best job I've ever gotten or it's going to a nightmare .. the reason for the two extremes is this is what has happened (and I say so far since we are not done yet .. lol). First, I showed up at the wrong...

Fooled · Fooled

My exAH is a dry drunk, he also has no program, and is pulling away from his higher power. He is now married to a recovering alcoholic and polysubstance abuser. She is also bipolar. Too make a long story short her son did the unforgiveable to my handicapped son who was 16 at the time. Now my ex parenting tim...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Ex-AF emailed me to tell me he "knows" I'm snooping around in his accounts and trying to manipulate him and hurt is new relationship (I'm truly not...). Because of this, he wants nothing to do with me going forward. Ever. I sobbed telling him it wasn't true and not to do this... He wouldn't li...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading opens with a description of a dream in which the writer is surfing in huge and unrelenting waves. In the dream the writer's HP is waiting at shore to protect the surfer each time a new wave carries him in. The writer interprets the dream in this way: the ocean is lif...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Had a fabulous day today. It was a public holiday here. Labor day, when no-body works and everything is shut. Go figure. I had a great plan in mind. Go for a gym and swim with daughter, and then go to the movies together to see that movie she's been hassling me to take her to. The one that I said isn't really f...

newhere94 · newhere94

I'm new here, I'm sorry if I'm breaking any posting rules. My ah possibly stbx and I are separated for almost six months now. Alcohol was only part of the problem....severe abuse, not working, eviction, drug abuse, homelessness, criminal behavior. He just started drinking heavy because he got off h...

manas · manas

Does anyone here have anything to share about "near-responsible drinking" or anything resembling that after an A has learnt a lesson? I am totally convinced that its all downhill after the first sip, progressively worsening disease etc. But while I mature applying Al Anon tools, was cu...

Rebounder · Rebounder

Has anybody successfully recovered and stayed married? I know a long list of things I don't have to do anymore. And the top of my to-do list is to take care of myself. But how in hell does anyone stay in a relationship???

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c is about pigeons. Specifically, it's about how if you sit under a tree full of pigeons, it won't do you much good to get angry and shout at the pigeons if they poop on you, because that's what pigeons do. Instead, the writer notes, it's wisest to check the tree for pigeons before sitting under...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well it has been awhile since I posted... not too much has changed...I am still moving through the divorce process, living with a freind and the custody arrangement is 50/50. Today though is the day we go sign our settlement agreement and then the paperwork for the div mediator to start the divorce pr...

a4l · a4l

My ah and I seperated physically a year ago. Basically we live in different states. I raise the three kids and he pays the bills. We spend almost every weekend together as a family. There are advantages to this situation. Living with him drives me insane or makes me very tired. But over time the weekends...

andromeda · andromeda

Crazy how my life has changed in the past year. My bf, whom I've been with now for almost a year, has asked me to move in with him soon. We have had a few talks about it over the past 2 days and I expressed all my fears and concerns. He told me there were a few he didn't have answers for, but he said he was commit...

Fooled · Fooled

As long as it took me to get through step one, I look at step 2 and think wow ok This is going to take me awhile. Because I have serious trust issues. Its not that I don't believe in God, who is my Higher Power, its that I have kind of lost my faith. For so long my glass has been half empty. Very little be...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-I just wanted to share a short example of how alanon is in my head in the most wonderful and desirable way. I got into a discussion with my A last evening about her drinking last weekend when she was so nasty. It started out OK but quickly got detoured. She was herself-lying, denial, and I was BRIEF...

feistychick · feistychick

I spent my childhood, sheltered in an abusive home. that I never really realized was abusive till years later. I guess when you're little you think your home is normal. Especially, when your parents keep you literally in your room. Both were alcoholics and although i'm sure they loved me, the scars t...

jenny1000 · jenny1000

hi all I'm very new to al anon, began attending meetings just 3 months ago. my story... i'm married to a functional alcoholic for 24 years and we have 3 grown kids together. before attending al anon i was at a complete breaking point in my life but i felt i knew exactly what was the right thing to do to begi...

Rebounder · Rebounder

Started program more than 20 years ago. Husband hated it then. I got pissed at God, left maybe 7 years ago. Now deep in insanity and back. Husband still here... still hates program. Wondering why I stay. Must be a payoff somewhere?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 12 speals about "absorbing" other people's moods and having them affect us negatively. It points out that arguing with someone who is intoxicated is like beating my head against the wall, yet prior to program ,I always dove right into the arguments because that i...

womanking · womanking

I've been with my partner for 3 years now. There have been many ups and downs with his drinking and drug use. He ended up in detox and was finally doing outpatient rehab, only for me to find out that he was lying about going to the therapies and meetings, the whole time. While he wasn't drinking at home w...

Ruby Crystal · Ruby Crystal

I need solid coping skills that is why I came to this site. MY AD, I need to detach. HOW?

lucymae · lucymae

And if you have did you try it? Did it work for you?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 13 speaks about Step Seven. This is the Step where we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcoming". The word "humility" sometimes caused me to cringe as I read the step in the beginning. My sponsor explained that I can use the tools, prepare myself to chang...

0211

Attended a few f2f meetings so far and trying to let go of trying to control him...the marriage I had envisioned for us and wanted so badly...the emotional bond I had ached for. I have been in AA for 5 years now, while he is a daily potsmoker which causes an emotional wall between us. The codependency I hav...

Fooled · Fooled

Ive been seeing the signs for the past couple weeks. Here and there. Only been here a little while, but prior I would react like a wild woman. AH was extremely late coming home from work Saturday night. Told me he was stuck in traffic and then got a flat tire. Even had grease and dirt on him to "...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I'm always afraid to argue and think my boyfriend of 2 years will walk out of my life. But I started a argument anyway, because I felt like he is too hard on my 7 year old. He thinks I coddle her. So I finally put my feelings out there and I think I made a few mistakes in what I said by bringing up my exAH into it. My...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, the week started poorly but, it didn't stay that way. I guess because my life revolves around lots of things now, not just the behaviour of one person (who isn't me). Last weekend A came over to spend saturday night and sunday with me. He was sober when he arrived, but managed to get staggeringly dr...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been wanting to ask someone in my group to be my sponsor for a while now. I was just so afraid to ask for help. When I first started there were a few people who approached me and offered to help me and I am grateful to them for doing so. But for some reason or another we just haven't clicked enough that I...

lookingup · lookingup

just found out there's a close by alanon meeting ftf,on wed,at noon time every week,I maybe jumping the guns but I hope not I'm to call back in a hour to get the correct times,....LU is Excited,lol, and been looking for ever seems just decided to google it in my area and found it,wow now how easier can it ge...

joker · joker

Its been 4 days since my abf has come home from work. He is exhausted and sleeps. Get up and goes back to sleep, get up and goes back to sleep. He has no motivation to do anything. I sit on the couch with him but I sense a distance between us. I do not say anything to him due to fear he will flip out. I ask him lets ge...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i think discernment is my new go to word. I need to keep it at the top of my head along with judgements. They go together in my new world. By being in recovery my underbelly is exposd and raw. I need to keep it protected and secure without walls being up and closed off. I need recovery in many areas they ar...

lucymae · lucymae

I have been in Alanon for about 12 years. Before Alanon I was physically abused and terrified all the time. Alanon changed my life and my marriage became better "for awhile". I have been married for over 25 years now. I have hard life situations going on. First I had breast cancer last year,...

lookingup · lookingup

Step work,sponsor,huge amounts of reading cal reading,and Q&a lists everyday,has kept my sanity and living in today .My A/sis that lives with me had a huge argument with her daughter over my A/s breaking into her daughters apartment ,which was WRONG ,I felt really bad for the daughter,but dau...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change Reading 3-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...	hotrod	3	604	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Out of the mouth of babes (Preview) Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...	Fairlee	4	694	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	I had an Interesting Revelation Today (Preview) I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...	kspec85	10	759	Mar 19, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Step 5 (Preview) Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...	hotrod	2	456	Mar 19, 2016 by KathRN
	Honesty and reality (Preview) Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...	Mirandac	3	755	Mar 19, 2016 by hotrod
	Avoiding Chaos (Preview) Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...	sunmustshine	10	817	Mar 19, 2016 by Mirandac
	feeling sad but hopeful today (Preview) I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...	Gailsy	3	596	Mar 18, 2016 by Fairlee
	Brother's 50th (Preview) Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...	Delta40	6	582	Mar 18, 2016 by Delta40
	Courage to Chance (C2C) - 3/18/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...	Iamhere	1	561	Mar 18, 2016 by hotrod
	Husband Lying about smoking! (Preview) Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...	Wife321	7	860	Mar 17, 2016 by Bettina2
	Week 1/ First meeting (Preview) So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....	Jennyp	1	566	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/17/16 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...	Iamhere	1	759	Mar 17, 2016 by hotrod
	First Post/Vent (Preview) I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...	sunmustshine	3	566	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	GRATEFUL (Preview) i read the posts on this board every day 2xs a day. After reading some more of the painful episodes our fellow members have been going through, I realize how grateful i am. Im grateful with my hp f2f and all of you here, that im doing ok. I wake up every morning after a good night sleep[mostly],dont have to b...	YARNCRAZY	3	463	Mar 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope (Preview) Hello all, I joined recently and posted a thread introducing myself. I'm engaged to an alcoholic and shortly after I joined this forum we had a large fight. I got off of work early and went to his work to see him. He was sitting in his truck at work drinking, he works at a place where we both are also keep s...	Gardening	5	567	Mar 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Whats going on? (Preview) My A is out of rehab (out on 12th March) . I am slowly detaching. I gave him my attention for these few days. Now, I am back to working my first full day in office. Usually, when I come home, he is just like a kid but dull. Forcing me to take him out and so on. But from 2-3 days, he is sleeping heavily and at odd hour...	manas	6	632	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feeding into my a sisters drama/ chaos (Preview) Yes I haven't been able so to grab any alanon tools up to deal with my a sis,I ended up leavening my home for the day to get my balance back and to take some deep breaths before I exploded on her which I didn't but I did feed all up into her mess with blaming me for everything i.e,I'm stealing from her,I'm snoop...	lookingup	5	660	Mar 16, 2016 by lookingup
	First time I've asked these questions, not sure what to do. (Preview) My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years. We have 3 children in their 20s who are grown and out of the house. My husband has always been a heavier drinker than I am. I am not a teetotaler by any means, but hardly ever get buzzed and can count on one hand (with leftover fingers) how many times I...	acook	4	639	Mar 16, 2016 by milkwood
	short share (Preview) Sometimes i wonde if watching out for myself backfires. I quit my 2nd job in a month yesterday. It was a stinky job,really low but i reasoned that a job was a job. it was selling over the phone fake male enhancement pills to old men. it was an easy bus ride to the office but Im not a liar so it was hard to sell fal...	YARNCRAZY	8	572	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	My A's out of Rehab (not voluntary rehab). Deploying my Al Anon arsenal. First day success (Preview) My A is out of forced rehab. I am consciously applying my newly learned Al Anon tools. Challenging, because his behavior is already unpredictable. I am not pushing anything, letting things flow, yet making my point once so that he knows that there are new boundaries. He enjoyed his first hour of freed...	manas	12	728	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Losing My Mind (Preview) I apologize in advance for a long post. My fianc was 10 months clean when all of a sudden he suffered a freak accident and had to go into emergency surgery. I was proud that the whole day leading up to it (we did not yet know he would need surgery) he refused all narcotics and was honest with the staff that he w...	kspec85	11	795	Mar 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 16/3 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading speaks about the pitfalls of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our recovery. It suggests that if we develop idealised standards about how we are supposed to be when we are 'recovered" then we are likely to become dissapointed and unhappy. It s...	missmeliss	4	586	Mar 16, 2016 by hotrod
	It's been a long time and I'm reaching out again (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm reaching out because I really feel like I'm in a low place in my life. Quick background on me. I left my AH 2 years ago. I chose to walk away from the home I own because he wouldn't stay gone when I asked him to leave. There's a lot of financial issues mai...	Newlife girl	10	694	Mar 16, 2016 by a4l
	At The End of My Rope With All of The Abuse! (Preview) Hi! :) I'm new to this site and I hope I'm doing this right.My common-law husband is an incredibly mean drunk. He says the most hurtful things to me when he's drinking. He verbally attacks me and incredibly enough he verbally attacks my dog too (Who, incidentally, is an incredibly well behaved husky)....	Stella1	8	704	Mar 16, 2016 by el-cee
	My boyfriend is an alcholic (Preview) Well where do I begin, For the last 3 years my bf has been having issues with drinking. He was having outbursts and then having explosive ( call episodes) where he would fall over the place, be angry, black out, didn't know who I was or where he was. Last October I didn't know he was drunk, thought he was hav...	tim0398	18	1098	Mar 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	old patterns (Preview) my exAbf and I are really good at sinking back into old patterns and staying connected through breaking up. the perks of an on-again-of-again relationship is that you have practive for breaking up each time (said with much sarcasm). thing is we never were good at breaking up. we'd be togther for years...	Crau	3	551	Mar 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Interesting insight from AH (Preview) We have friends we see regularly and the wife drinks frequently. When she drinks her behaviour annoys my AH. Yet sometimes it is the exact type of behaviour that he exhibits himself when he is drinking. So we have been talking about going on a vacation with them and he and her were texting back and forth a...	KT2015	2	698	Mar 15, 2016 by hotrod
	Beyond Sad (Preview) First of all my son (37) is not a qualifier. However, he has been non-communicative since I left his Father 18 months ago. Early on he responded to an email that he did not want involved in our stuff that he had enough stuff of his own to deal with. I have respected that and never mention his dad. It has bee...	pjwa12726	12	687	Mar 15, 2016 by pjwa12726
	I've decided .. lol (Preview) I don't know if I have shared the debacle that has been this job I've been applying for is either going to be the best job I've ever gotten or it's going to a nightmare .. the reason for the two extremes is this is what has happened (and I say so far since we are not done yet .. lol). First, I showed up at the wrong...	SerenityRUS	7	677	Mar 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Applying to other areas of my chaos (Preview) My exAH is a dry drunk, he also has no program, and is pulling away from his higher power. He is now married to a recovering alcoholic and polysubstance abuser. She is also bipolar. Too make a long story short her son did the unforgiveable to my handicapped son who was 16 at the time. Now my ex parenting tim...	Fooled	0	532	Mar 15, 2016 by Fooled
	False Accusations (Preview) Ex-AF emailed me to tell me he "knows" I'm snooping around in his accounts and trying to manipulate him and hurt is new relationship (I'm truly not...). Because of this, he wants nothing to do with me going forward. Ever. I sobbed telling him it wasn't true and not to do this... He wouldn't li...	Jaclyn	8	586	Mar 15, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today Mar 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading opens with a description of a dream in which the writer is surfing in huge and unrelenting waves. In the dream the writer's HP is waiting at shore to protect the surfer each time a new wave carries him in. The writer interprets the dream in this way: the ocean is lif...	yanksfan51	4	584	Mar 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	All by myself... (Preview) Had a fabulous day today. It was a public holiday here. Labor day, when no-body works and everything is shut. Go figure. I had a great plan in mind. Go for a gym and swim with daughter, and then go to the movies together to see that movie she's been hassling me to take her to. The one that I said isn't really f...	missmeliss	4	720	Mar 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	What about alcoholism AND abusive (Preview) I'm new here, I'm sorry if I'm breaking any posting rules. My ah possibly stbx and I are separated for almost six months now. Alcohol was only part of the problem....severe abuse, not working, eviction, drug abuse, homelessness, criminal behavior. He just started drinking heavy because he got off h...	newhere94	14	842	Mar 14, 2016 by Bettina2
	While I'm detaching and applying Al Anon tools (Preview) Does anyone here have anything to share about "near-responsible drinking" or anything resembling that after an A has learnt a lesson? I am totally convinced that its all downhill after the first sip, progressively worsening disease etc. But while I mature applying Al Anon tools, was cu...	manas	9	773	Mar 14, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Has anyone managed to recover a marriage? (Preview) Has anybody successfully recovered and stayed married? I know a long list of things I don't have to do anymore. And the top of my to-do list is to take care of myself. But how in hell does anyone stay in a relationship???	Rebounder	10	1090	Mar 14, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Courage to Change 14/3 (Preview) Today's c2c is about pigeons. Specifically, it's about how if you sit under a tree full of pigeons, it won't do you much good to get angry and shout at the pigeons if they poop on you, because that's what pigeons do. Instead, the writer notes, it's wisest to check the tree for pigeons before sitting under...	missmeliss	2	761	Mar 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	today is the day (Preview) well it has been awhile since I posted... not too much has changed...I am still moving through the divorce process, living with a freind and the custody arrangement is 50/50. Today though is the day we go sign our settlement agreement and then the paperwork for the div mediator to start the divorce pr...	Theoceancalls	9	765	Mar 14, 2016 by andromeda
	pretty cages. (Preview) My ah and I seperated physically a year ago. Basically we live in different states. I raise the three kids and he pays the bills. We spend almost every weekend together as a family. There are advantages to this situation. Living with him drives me insane or makes me very tired. But over time the weekends...	a4l	3	555	Mar 14, 2016 by hotrod
	My bf wants us to live together (Preview) Crazy how my life has changed in the past year. My bf, whom I've been with now for almost a year, has asked me to move in with him soon. We have had a few talks about it over the past 2 days and I expressed all my fears and concerns. He told me there were a few he didn't have answers for, but he said he was commit...	andromeda	17	902	Mar 13, 2016 by andromeda
	My own Barriers (Preview) As long as it took me to get through step one, I look at step 2 and think wow ok This is going to take me awhile. Because I have serious trust issues. Its not that I don't believe in God, who is my Higher Power, its that I have kind of lost my faith. For so long my glass has been half empty. Very little be...	Fooled	9	717	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Me and my tool box (Preview) Hi-I just wanted to share a short example of how alanon is in my head in the most wonderful and desirable way. I got into a discussion with my A last evening about her drinking last weekend when she was so nasty. It started out OK but quickly got detoured. She was herself-lying, denial, and I was BRIEF...	Lyne	3	458	Mar 13, 2016 by hotrod
	am i doing something wrong (Preview) I spent my childhood, sheltered in an abusive home. that I never really realized was abusive till years later. I guess when you're little you think your home is normal. Especially, when your parents keep you literally in your room. Both were alcoholics and although i'm sure they loved me, the scars t...	feistychick	16	1022	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	lost and confused (Preview) hi all I'm very new to al anon, began attending meetings just 3 months ago. my story... i'm married to a functional alcoholic for 24 years and we have 3 grown kids together. before attending al anon i was at a complete breaking point in my life but i felt i knew exactly what was the right thing to do to begi...	jenny1000	5	731	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back after ~7 yrs. Nice to be home. (Preview) Started program more than 20 years ago. Husband hated it then. I got pissed at God, left maybe 7 years ago. Now deep in insanity and back. Husband still here... still hates program. Wondering why I stay. Must be a payoff somewhere?	Rebounder	6	647	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 3-12-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 12 speals about "absorbing" other people's moods and having them affect us negatively. It points out that arguing with someone who is intoxicated is like beating my head against the wall, yet prior to program ,I always dove right into the arguments because that i...	hotrod	2	744	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Leaving him...how can I help my kids through it? (Preview) I've been with my partner for 3 years now. There have been many ups and downs with his drinking and drug use. He ended up in detox and was finally doing outpatient rehab, only for me to find out that he was lying about going to the therapies and meetings, the whole time. While he wasn't drinking at home w...	womanking	3	562	Mar 13, 2016 by Newlife girl
	Coping Skills Needed (Preview) I need solid coping skills that is why I came to this site. MY AD, I need to detach. HOW?	Ruby Crystal	12	1639	Mar 13, 2016 by Jerry F
	Has anyone heard of EMPower Plus by TrueHope (Preview) And if you have did you try it? Did it work for you?	lucymae	0	2228	Mar 13, 2016 by lucymae
	Courage to Change 3-13-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 13 speaks about Step Seven. This is the Step where we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcoming". The word "humility" sometimes caused me to cringe as I read the step in the beginning. My sponsor explained that I can use the tools, prepare myself to chang...	hotrod	6	641	Mar 13, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	New here (Preview) Attended a few f2f meetings so far and trying to let go of trying to control him...the marriage I had envisioned for us and wanted so badly...the emotional bond I had ached for. I have been in AA for 5 years now, while he is a daily potsmoker which causes an emotional wall between us. The codependency I hav...	0211	6	661	Mar 13, 2016 by 0211
	Which is worse (Preview) Ive been seeing the signs for the past couple weeks. Here and there. Only been here a little while, but prior I would react like a wild woman. AH was extremely late coming home from work Saturday night. Told me he was stuck in traffic and then got a flat tire. Even had grease and dirt on him to "...	Fooled	20	792	Mar 13, 2016 by Newlife girl
	I am not good at argueing, but started one last night that continued to this morning (Preview) I'm always afraid to argue and think my boyfriend of 2 years will walk out of my life. But I started a argument anyway, because I felt like he is too hard on my 7 year old. He thinks I coddle her. So I finally put my feelings out there and I think I made a few mistakes in what I said by bringing up my exAH into it. My...	Breakingfree	12	1041	Mar 13, 2016 by Newlife girl
	The usual ramble. (Preview) Well, the week started poorly but, it didn't stay that way. I guess because my life revolves around lots of things now, not just the behaviour of one person (who isn't me). Last weekend A came over to spend saturday night and sunday with me. He was sober when he arrived, but managed to get staggeringly dr...	missmeliss	14	809	Mar 12, 2016 by Newlife girl
	I have a sponsor (Preview) I've been wanting to ask someone in my group to be my sponsor for a while now. I was just so afraid to ask for help. When I first started there were a few people who approached me and offered to help me and I am grateful to them for doing so. But for some reason or another we just haven't clicked enough that I...	KT2015	9	742	Mar 12, 2016 by jenny1000
	Ftf meeting (Preview) just found out there's a close by alanon meeting ftf,on wed,at noon time every week,I maybe jumping the guns but I hope not I'm to call back in a hour to get the correct times,....LU is Excited,lol, and been looking for ever seems just decided to google it in my area and found it,wow now how easier can it ge...	lookingup	6	1234	Mar 12, 2016 by lookingup
	Triggers (Preview) Its been 4 days since my abf has come home from work. He is exhausted and sleeps. Get up and goes back to sleep, get up and goes back to sleep. He has no motivation to do anything. I sit on the couch with him but I sense a distance between us. I do not say anything to him due to fear he will flip out. I ask him lets ge...	joker	7	1100	Mar 12, 2016 by Bettina2
	Discernment (Preview) i think discernment is my new go to word. I need to keep it at the top of my head along with judgements. They go together in my new world. By being in recovery my underbelly is exposd and raw. I need to keep it protected and secure without walls being up and closed off. I need recovery in many areas they ar...	Mirandac	11	736	Mar 12, 2016 by Mirandac
	Absolutely Terrified! (Preview) I have been in Alanon for about 12 years. Before Alanon I was physically abused and terrified all the time. Alanon changed my life and my marriage became better "for awhile". I have been married for over 25 years now. I have hard life situations going on. First I had breast cancer last year,...	lucymae	6	609	Mar 12, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Insanity (Preview) Step work,sponsor,huge amounts of reading cal reading,and Q&a lists everyday,has kept my sanity and living in today .My A/sis that lives with me had a huge argument with her daughter over my A/s breaking into her daughters apartment ,which was WRONG ,I felt really bad for the daughter,but dau...	lookingup	2	515	Mar 12, 2016 by lookingup
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.