Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...

Mattie · Mattie

This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...

lookingup · lookingup

As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone.

remember,"Safety Third"my de...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...

petey49 · petey49

He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...

caprilyeous · caprilyeous

Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......

Momof1 · Momof1

This is my first time here. Here is my back story...I'm married and the mother of a seven year old. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict. Her is an equal opportunity drug user...whatever he can get! In January, he decided he wanted to "to get off the hard stuff" and sought out Xanax, whic...

lastonestanding · lastonestanding

I have had limited contact with my alcoholic sibling and my mother for a number of years. I needed boundaries to protect myself from the effects of his drinking (violence) and her enabling. In the course of 6 months, she has been admitted to a nursing home - quite elderly and with dementia. I am her POA...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 21 focuses on listening to the still small voice within and then acting upon what we hear It points out that we cannot see around blind corners and that if we simply ask for guidance, listen and act we will be directed in the right path. The reading goes on to suggest that we m...

joker · joker

I am feeling stronger day by day and the decision to leave the ABF is becoming clearer. Yesterday, he just completed a week drunk. What a nightmare but I did my best to not engage in an argument with him and instead left the room to not be effected by his active drinking. He has gotten himself into trouble....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 20 speaks about the fourth Step Guide:"Blueprint for Progress" . It points out that this book focuses on defining our self-worth while we are taking a searching and fearless moral inventory. Many times we will find that we have judged our value on the basis of our...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am now a Board Certified Registered Nurse! Yesterday I passed and have accomplished the biggest goal I had set for myself since leaving my exAH and heading out into this big world without needing to rely on a man! I have broken so many family cycles and the dysfunction just keeps sloughing off. I truly...

kspec85 · kspec85

Sometimes I forget to be grateful. I thought it might be nice to start a thread For what we are grateful for today. I'm grateful for my job. I don't always like it but it's income does allow me to live fairly comfortable with my children. I'm grateful that my children are healthy. I'm grateful fo...

a4l · a4l

Its my daughters 3rd birthday tomorrow and we are having a small party for her. She loves frozen so there's a bunch of frozen themed stuff and ill make her cake in a letter a and stick some little dolls on it. I've finished stuffing the pinata with lollies and chocolate eggs. But here's the thing. Her dayc...

a4l · a4l

I was tempted to go buy a perfect cake yesterday and I'm so glad I didn't. Today my lovely neighbour came with some of her brood for daughters birthday but not before popping in earlier to see if there was anything I needed from the shops. She was on her way to get daughter a present though I had said honestl...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...

kspec85 · kspec85

I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...

Gailsy · Gailsy

I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...

Delta40 · Delta40

Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...

Wife321 · Wife321

Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...

Jennyp · Jennyp

So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i read the posts on this board every day 2xs a day. After reading some more of the painful episodes our fellow members have been going through, I realize how grateful i am. Im grateful with my hp f2f and all of you here, that im doing ok. I wake up every morning after a good night sleep[mostly],dont have to b...

Gardening · Gardening

Hello all, I joined recently and posted a thread introducing myself. I'm engaged to an alcoholic and shortly after I joined this forum we had a large fight. I got off of work early and went to his work to see him. He was sitting in his truck at work drinking, he works at a place where we both are also keep s...

manas · manas

My A is out of rehab (out on 12th March) . I am slowly detaching. I gave him my attention for these few days. Now, I am back to working my first full day in office. Usually, when I come home, he is just like a kid but dull. Forcing me to take him out and so on. But from 2-3 days, he is sleeping heavily and at odd hour...

lookingup · lookingup

Yes I haven't been able so to grab any alanon tools up to deal with my a sis,I ended up leavening my home for the day to get my balance back and to take some deep breaths before I exploded on her which I didn't but I did feed all up into her mess with blaming me for everything i.e,I'm stealing from her,I'm snoop...

acook · acook

My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years. We have 3 children in their 20s who are grown and out of the house. My husband has always been a heavier drinker than I am. I am not a teetotaler by any means, but hardly ever get buzzed and can count on one hand (with leftover fingers) how many times I...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Sometimes i wonde if watching out for myself backfires. I quit my 2nd job in a month yesterday. It was a stinky job,really low but i reasoned that a job was a job. it was selling over the phone fake male enhancement pills to old men. it was an easy bus ride to the office but Im not a liar so it was hard to sell fal...

manas · manas

My A is out of forced rehab. I am consciously applying my newly learned Al Anon tools. Challenging, because his behavior is already unpredictable. I am not pushing anything, letting things flow, yet making my point once so that he knows that there are new boundaries. He enjoyed his first hour of freed...

kspec85 · kspec85

I apologize in advance for a long post. My fianc was 10 months clean when all of a sudden he suffered a freak accident and had to go into emergency surgery. I was proud that the whole day leading up to it (we did not yet know he would need surgery) he refused all narcotics and was honest with the staff that he w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's courage to change reading speaks about the pitfalls of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our recovery. It suggests that if we develop idealised standards about how we are supposed to be when we are 'recovered" then we are likely to become dissapointed and unhappy. It s...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm reaching out because I really feel like I'm in a low place in my life. Quick background on me. I left my AH 2 years ago. I chose to walk away from the home I own because he wouldn't stay gone when I asked him to leave. There's a lot of financial issues mai...

Stella1 · Stella1

Hi! :) I'm new to this site and I hope I'm doing this right.My common-law husband is an incredibly mean drunk. He says the most hurtful things to me when he's drinking. He verbally attacks me and incredibly enough he verbally attacks my dog too (Who, incidentally, is an incredibly well behaved husky)....

tim0398 · tim0398

Well where do I begin, For the last 3 years my bf has been having issues with drinking. He was having outbursts and then having explosive ( call episodes) where he would fall over the place, be angry, black out, didn't know who I was or where he was. Last October I didn't know he was drunk, thought he was hav...

Crau · Crau

my exAbf and I are really good at sinking back into old patterns and staying connected through breaking up. the perks of an on-again-of-again relationship is that you have practive for breaking up each time (said with much sarcasm). thing is we never were good at breaking up. we'd be togther for years...

KT2015 · KT2015

We have friends we see regularly and the wife drinks frequently. When she drinks her behaviour annoys my AH. Yet sometimes it is the exact type of behaviour that he exhibits himself when he is drinking. So we have been talking about going on a vacation with them and he and her were texting back and forth a...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

First of all my son (37) is not a qualifier. However, he has been non-communicative since I left his Father 18 months ago. Early on he responded to an email that he did not want involved in our stuff that he had enough stuff of his own to deal with. I have respected that and never mention his dad. It has bee...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't know if I have shared the debacle that has been this job I've been applying for is either going to be the best job I've ever gotten or it's going to a nightmare .. the reason for the two extremes is this is what has happened (and I say so far since we are not done yet .. lol). First, I showed up at the wrong...

Fooled · Fooled

My exAH is a dry drunk, he also has no program, and is pulling away from his higher power. He is now married to a recovering alcoholic and polysubstance abuser. She is also bipolar. Too make a long story short her son did the unforgiveable to my handicapped son who was 16 at the time. Now my ex parenting tim...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Ex-AF emailed me to tell me he "knows" I'm snooping around in his accounts and trying to manipulate him and hurt is new relationship (I'm truly not...). Because of this, he wants nothing to do with me going forward. Ever. I sobbed telling him it wasn't true and not to do this... He wouldn't li...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading opens with a description of a dream in which the writer is surfing in huge and unrelenting waves. In the dream the writer's HP is waiting at shore to protect the surfer each time a new wave carries him in. The writer interprets the dream in this way: the ocean is lif...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Had a fabulous day today. It was a public holiday here. Labor day, when no-body works and everything is shut. Go figure. I had a great plan in mind. Go for a gym and swim with daughter, and then go to the movies together to see that movie she's been hassling me to take her to. The one that I said isn't really f...

newhere94 · newhere94

I'm new here, I'm sorry if I'm breaking any posting rules. My ah possibly stbx and I are separated for almost six months now. Alcohol was only part of the problem....severe abuse, not working, eviction, drug abuse, homelessness, criminal behavior. He just started drinking heavy because he got off h...

manas · manas

Does anyone here have anything to share about "near-responsible drinking" or anything resembling that after an A has learnt a lesson? I am totally convinced that its all downhill after the first sip, progressively worsening disease etc. But while I mature applying Al Anon tools, was cu...

Rebounder · Rebounder

Has anybody successfully recovered and stayed married? I know a long list of things I don't have to do anymore. And the top of my to-do list is to take care of myself. But how in hell does anyone stay in a relationship???

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c is about pigeons. Specifically, it's about how if you sit under a tree full of pigeons, it won't do you much good to get angry and shout at the pigeons if they poop on you, because that's what pigeons do. Instead, the writer notes, it's wisest to check the tree for pigeons before sitting under...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well it has been awhile since I posted... not too much has changed...I am still moving through the divorce process, living with a freind and the custody arrangement is 50/50. Today though is the day we go sign our settlement agreement and then the paperwork for the div mediator to start the divorce pr...

a4l · a4l

My ah and I seperated physically a year ago. Basically we live in different states. I raise the three kids and he pays the bills. We spend almost every weekend together as a family. There are advantages to this situation. Living with him drives me insane or makes me very tired. But over time the weekends...

andromeda · andromeda

Crazy how my life has changed in the past year. My bf, whom I've been with now for almost a year, has asked me to move in with him soon. We have had a few talks about it over the past 2 days and I expressed all my fears and concerns. He told me there were a few he didn't have answers for, but he said he was commit...

Fooled · Fooled

As long as it took me to get through step one, I look at step 2 and think wow ok This is going to take me awhile. Because I have serious trust issues. Its not that I don't believe in God, who is my Higher Power, its that I have kind of lost my faith. For so long my glass has been half empty. Very little be...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Is it pity or love? (Preview) my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...	lookingup	4	1035	Mar 22, 2016 by lookingup
	trusting HP but unsure of paths and messages (Preview) I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...	oceanpine	3	662	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Food for thought (Preview) This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...	Mattie	9	768	Mar 21, 2016 by a4l
	My Honest Share !!!!! (Preview) As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...	lookingup	7	788	Mar 21, 2016 by lookingup
	Head In Sand (Preview) Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...	Fedora	22	1249	Mar 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	a poem (Preview) I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone. remember,"Safety Third"my de...	Taraxacum	8	826	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Keeping the focus. . . (Preview) Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...	Taraxacum	12	922	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Now what??? Will the other shoe fall??? (Preview) He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...	petey49	5	721	Mar 21, 2016 by Mattie
	ODAT 3-21: Focusing on Progress in Al-Anon (Preview) Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...	Enigmatic	3	664	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......	caprilyeous	5	752	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	First Time Here... (Preview) This is my first time here. Here is my back story...I'm married and the mother of a seven year old. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict. Her is an equal opportunity drug user...whatever he can get! In January, he decided he wanted to "to get off the hard stuff" and sought out Xanax, whic...	Momof1	5	825	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Adult Protective Services for sibling in another state? (Preview) I have had limited contact with my alcoholic sibling and my mother for a number of years. I needed boundaries to protect myself from the effects of his drinking (violence) and her enabling. In the course of 6 months, she has been admitted to a nursing home - quite elderly and with dementia. I am her POA...	lastonestanding	4	620	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Courage to Change Reading 3-21 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 21 focuses on listening to the still small voice within and then acting upon what we hear It points out that we cannot see around blind corners and that if we simply ask for guidance, listen and act we will be directed in the right path. The reading goes on to suggest that we m...	hotrod	1	826	Mar 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling stronger (Preview) I am feeling stronger day by day and the decision to leave the ABF is becoming clearer. Yesterday, he just completed a week drunk. What a nightmare but I did my best to not engage in an argument with him and instead left the room to not be effected by his active drinking. He has gotten himself into trouble....	joker	1	758	Mar 20, 2016 by a4l
	Courage to Change Reading 3-20-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 20 speaks about the fourth Step Guide:"Blueprint for Progress" . It points out that this book focuses on defining our self-worth while we are taking a searching and fearless moral inventory. Many times we will find that we have judged our value on the basis of our...	hotrod	1	721	Mar 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	I did it!!!! (Preview) I am now a Board Certified Registered Nurse! Yesterday I passed and have accomplished the biggest goal I had set for myself since leaving my exAH and heading out into this big world without needing to rely on a man! I have broken so many family cycles and the dysfunction just keeps sloughing off. I truly...	Breakingfree	16	916	Mar 20, 2016 by andromeda
	Let's List Some Daily Gratitude (Preview) Sometimes I forget to be grateful. I thought it might be nice to start a thread For what we are grateful for today. I'm grateful for my job. I don't always like it but it's income does allow me to live fairly comfortable with my children. I'm grateful that my children are healthy. I'm grateful fo...	kspec85	13	834	Mar 20, 2016 by Gardening
	trying not to stress (Preview) Its my daughters 3rd birthday tomorrow and we are having a small party for her. She loves frozen so there's a bunch of frozen themed stuff and ill make her cake in a letter a and stick some little dolls on it. I've finished stuffing the pinata with lollies and chocolate eggs. But here's the thing. Her dayc...	a4l	14	878	Mar 20, 2016 by hotrod
	learned something today. (Preview) I was tempted to go buy a perfect cake yesterday and I'm so glad I didn't. Today my lovely neighbour came with some of her brood for daughters birthday but not before popping in earlier to see if there was anything I needed from the shops. She was on her way to get daughter a present though I had said honestl...	a4l	3	601	Mar 20, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading 3-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...	hotrod	3	642	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Out of the mouth of babes (Preview) Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...	Fairlee	4	728	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	I had an Interesting Revelation Today (Preview) I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...	kspec85	10	802	Mar 19, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Step 5 (Preview) Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...	hotrod	2	497	Mar 19, 2016 by KathRN
	Honesty and reality (Preview) Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...	Mirandac	3	797	Mar 19, 2016 by hotrod
	Avoiding Chaos (Preview) Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...	sunmustshine	10	870	Mar 19, 2016 by Mirandac
	feeling sad but hopeful today (Preview) I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...	Gailsy	3	632	Mar 18, 2016 by Fairlee
	Brother's 50th (Preview) Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...	Delta40	6	625	Mar 18, 2016 by Delta40
	Courage to Chance (C2C) - 3/18/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...	Iamhere	1	600	Mar 18, 2016 by hotrod
	Husband Lying about smoking! (Preview) Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...	Wife321	7	896	Mar 17, 2016 by Bettina2
	Week 1/ First meeting (Preview) So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....	Jennyp	1	602	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/17/16 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...	Iamhere	1	815	Mar 17, 2016 by hotrod
	First Post/Vent (Preview) I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...	sunmustshine	3	610	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	GRATEFUL (Preview) i read the posts on this board every day 2xs a day. After reading some more of the painful episodes our fellow members have been going through, I realize how grateful i am. Im grateful with my hp f2f and all of you here, that im doing ok. I wake up every morning after a good night sleep[mostly],dont have to b...	YARNCRAZY	3	507	Mar 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope (Preview) Hello all, I joined recently and posted a thread introducing myself. I'm engaged to an alcoholic and shortly after I joined this forum we had a large fight. I got off of work early and went to his work to see him. He was sitting in his truck at work drinking, he works at a place where we both are also keep s...	Gardening	5	611	Mar 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Whats going on? (Preview) My A is out of rehab (out on 12th March) . I am slowly detaching. I gave him my attention for these few days. Now, I am back to working my first full day in office. Usually, when I come home, he is just like a kid but dull. Forcing me to take him out and so on. But from 2-3 days, he is sleeping heavily and at odd hour...	manas	6	676	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feeding into my a sisters drama/ chaos (Preview) Yes I haven't been able so to grab any alanon tools up to deal with my a sis,I ended up leavening my home for the day to get my balance back and to take some deep breaths before I exploded on her which I didn't but I did feed all up into her mess with blaming me for everything i.e,I'm stealing from her,I'm snoop...	lookingup	5	705	Mar 16, 2016 by lookingup
	First time I've asked these questions, not sure what to do. (Preview) My husband and I have been married for almost 27 years. We have 3 children in their 20s who are grown and out of the house. My husband has always been a heavier drinker than I am. I am not a teetotaler by any means, but hardly ever get buzzed and can count on one hand (with leftover fingers) how many times I...	acook	4	679	Mar 16, 2016 by milkwood
	short share (Preview) Sometimes i wonde if watching out for myself backfires. I quit my 2nd job in a month yesterday. It was a stinky job,really low but i reasoned that a job was a job. it was selling over the phone fake male enhancement pills to old men. it was an easy bus ride to the office but Im not a liar so it was hard to sell fal...	YARNCRAZY	8	610	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	My A's out of Rehab (not voluntary rehab). Deploying my Al Anon arsenal. First day success (Preview) My A is out of forced rehab. I am consciously applying my newly learned Al Anon tools. Challenging, because his behavior is already unpredictable. I am not pushing anything, letting things flow, yet making my point once so that he knows that there are new boundaries. He enjoyed his first hour of freed...	manas	12	770	Mar 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Losing My Mind (Preview) I apologize in advance for a long post. My fianc was 10 months clean when all of a sudden he suffered a freak accident and had to go into emergency surgery. I was proud that the whole day leading up to it (we did not yet know he would need surgery) he refused all narcotics and was honest with the staff that he w...	kspec85	11	833	Mar 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 16/3 (Preview) Today's courage to change reading speaks about the pitfalls of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our recovery. It suggests that if we develop idealised standards about how we are supposed to be when we are 'recovered" then we are likely to become dissapointed and unhappy. It s...	missmeliss	4	628	Mar 16, 2016 by hotrod
	It's been a long time and I'm reaching out again (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm reaching out because I really feel like I'm in a low place in my life. Quick background on me. I left my AH 2 years ago. I chose to walk away from the home I own because he wouldn't stay gone when I asked him to leave. There's a lot of financial issues mai...	Newlife girl	10	735	Mar 16, 2016 by a4l
	At The End of My Rope With All of The Abuse! (Preview) Hi! :) I'm new to this site and I hope I'm doing this right.My common-law husband is an incredibly mean drunk. He says the most hurtful things to me when he's drinking. He verbally attacks me and incredibly enough he verbally attacks my dog too (Who, incidentally, is an incredibly well behaved husky)....	Stella1	8	747	Mar 16, 2016 by el-cee
	My boyfriend is an alcholic (Preview) Well where do I begin, For the last 3 years my bf has been having issues with drinking. He was having outbursts and then having explosive ( call episodes) where he would fall over the place, be angry, black out, didn't know who I was or where he was. Last October I didn't know he was drunk, thought he was hav...	tim0398	18	1141	Mar 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	old patterns (Preview) my exAbf and I are really good at sinking back into old patterns and staying connected through breaking up. the perks of an on-again-of-again relationship is that you have practive for breaking up each time (said with much sarcasm). thing is we never were good at breaking up. we'd be togther for years...	Crau	3	600	Mar 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Interesting insight from AH (Preview) We have friends we see regularly and the wife drinks frequently. When she drinks her behaviour annoys my AH. Yet sometimes it is the exact type of behaviour that he exhibits himself when he is drinking. So we have been talking about going on a vacation with them and he and her were texting back and forth a...	KT2015	2	739	Mar 15, 2016 by hotrod
	Beyond Sad (Preview) First of all my son (37) is not a qualifier. However, he has been non-communicative since I left his Father 18 months ago. Early on he responded to an email that he did not want involved in our stuff that he had enough stuff of his own to deal with. I have respected that and never mention his dad. It has bee...	pjwa12726	12	726	Mar 15, 2016 by pjwa12726
	I've decided .. lol (Preview) I don't know if I have shared the debacle that has been this job I've been applying for is either going to be the best job I've ever gotten or it's going to a nightmare .. the reason for the two extremes is this is what has happened (and I say so far since we are not done yet .. lol). First, I showed up at the wrong...	SerenityRUS	7	725	Mar 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Applying to other areas of my chaos (Preview) My exAH is a dry drunk, he also has no program, and is pulling away from his higher power. He is now married to a recovering alcoholic and polysubstance abuser. She is also bipolar. Too make a long story short her son did the unforgiveable to my handicapped son who was 16 at the time. Now my ex parenting tim...	Fooled	0	576	Mar 15, 2016 by Fooled
	False Accusations (Preview) Ex-AF emailed me to tell me he "knows" I'm snooping around in his accounts and trying to manipulate him and hurt is new relationship (I'm truly not...). Because of this, he wants nothing to do with me going forward. Ever. I sobbed telling him it wasn't true and not to do this... He wouldn't li...	Jaclyn	8	632	Mar 15, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today Mar 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading opens with a description of a dream in which the writer is surfing in huge and unrelenting waves. In the dream the writer's HP is waiting at shore to protect the surfer each time a new wave carries him in. The writer interprets the dream in this way: the ocean is lif...	yanksfan51	4	621	Mar 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	All by myself... (Preview) Had a fabulous day today. It was a public holiday here. Labor day, when no-body works and everything is shut. Go figure. I had a great plan in mind. Go for a gym and swim with daughter, and then go to the movies together to see that movie she's been hassling me to take her to. The one that I said isn't really f...	missmeliss	4	765	Mar 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	What about alcoholism AND abusive (Preview) I'm new here, I'm sorry if I'm breaking any posting rules. My ah possibly stbx and I are separated for almost six months now. Alcohol was only part of the problem....severe abuse, not working, eviction, drug abuse, homelessness, criminal behavior. He just started drinking heavy because he got off h...	newhere94	14	884	Mar 14, 2016 by Bettina2
	While I'm detaching and applying Al Anon tools (Preview) Does anyone here have anything to share about "near-responsible drinking" or anything resembling that after an A has learnt a lesson? I am totally convinced that its all downhill after the first sip, progressively worsening disease etc. But while I mature applying Al Anon tools, was cu...	manas	9	817	Mar 14, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Has anyone managed to recover a marriage? (Preview) Has anybody successfully recovered and stayed married? I know a long list of things I don't have to do anymore. And the top of my to-do list is to take care of myself. But how in hell does anyone stay in a relationship???	Rebounder	10	1134	Mar 14, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Courage to Change 14/3 (Preview) Today's c2c is about pigeons. Specifically, it's about how if you sit under a tree full of pigeons, it won't do you much good to get angry and shout at the pigeons if they poop on you, because that's what pigeons do. Instead, the writer notes, it's wisest to check the tree for pigeons before sitting under...	missmeliss	2	796	Mar 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	today is the day (Preview) well it has been awhile since I posted... not too much has changed...I am still moving through the divorce process, living with a freind and the custody arrangement is 50/50. Today though is the day we go sign our settlement agreement and then the paperwork for the div mediator to start the divorce pr...	Theoceancalls	9	808	Mar 14, 2016 by andromeda
	pretty cages. (Preview) My ah and I seperated physically a year ago. Basically we live in different states. I raise the three kids and he pays the bills. We spend almost every weekend together as a family. There are advantages to this situation. Living with him drives me insane or makes me very tired. But over time the weekends...	a4l	3	600	Mar 14, 2016 by hotrod
	My bf wants us to live together (Preview) Crazy how my life has changed in the past year. My bf, whom I've been with now for almost a year, has asked me to move in with him soon. We have had a few talks about it over the past 2 days and I expressed all my fears and concerns. He told me there were a few he didn't have answers for, but he said he was commit...	andromeda	17	945	Mar 13, 2016 by andromeda
	My own Barriers (Preview) As long as it took me to get through step one, I look at step 2 and think wow ok This is going to take me awhile. Because I have serious trust issues. Its not that I don't believe in God, who is my Higher Power, its that I have kind of lost my faith. For so long my glass has been half empty. Very little be...	Fooled	9	761	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.