Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

manas · manas

Does anyone here have anything to share about "near-responsible drinking" or anything resembling that after an A has learnt a lesson? I am totally convinced that its all downhill after the first sip, progressively worsening disease etc. But while I mature applying Al Anon tools, was cu...

Rebounder · Rebounder

Has anybody successfully recovered and stayed married? I know a long list of things I don't have to do anymore. And the top of my to-do list is to take care of myself. But how in hell does anyone stay in a relationship???

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c is about pigeons. Specifically, it's about how if you sit under a tree full of pigeons, it won't do you much good to get angry and shout at the pigeons if they poop on you, because that's what pigeons do. Instead, the writer notes, it's wisest to check the tree for pigeons before sitting under...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well it has been awhile since I posted... not too much has changed...I am still moving through the divorce process, living with a freind and the custody arrangement is 50/50. Today though is the day we go sign our settlement agreement and then the paperwork for the div mediator to start the divorce pr...

a4l · a4l

My ah and I seperated physically a year ago. Basically we live in different states. I raise the three kids and he pays the bills. We spend almost every weekend together as a family. There are advantages to this situation. Living with him drives me insane or makes me very tired. But over time the weekends...

andromeda · andromeda

Crazy how my life has changed in the past year. My bf, whom I've been with now for almost a year, has asked me to move in with him soon. We have had a few talks about it over the past 2 days and I expressed all my fears and concerns. He told me there were a few he didn't have answers for, but he said he was commit...

Fooled · Fooled

As long as it took me to get through step one, I look at step 2 and think wow ok This is going to take me awhile. Because I have serious trust issues. Its not that I don't believe in God, who is my Higher Power, its that I have kind of lost my faith. For so long my glass has been half empty. Very little be...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-I just wanted to share a short example of how alanon is in my head in the most wonderful and desirable way. I got into a discussion with my A last evening about her drinking last weekend when she was so nasty. It started out OK but quickly got detoured. She was herself-lying, denial, and I was BRIEF...

feistychick · feistychick

I spent my childhood, sheltered in an abusive home. that I never really realized was abusive till years later. I guess when you're little you think your home is normal. Especially, when your parents keep you literally in your room. Both were alcoholics and although i'm sure they loved me, the scars t...

jenny1000 · jenny1000

hi all I'm very new to al anon, began attending meetings just 3 months ago. my story... i'm married to a functional alcoholic for 24 years and we have 3 grown kids together. before attending al anon i was at a complete breaking point in my life but i felt i knew exactly what was the right thing to do to begi...

Rebounder · Rebounder

Started program more than 20 years ago. Husband hated it then. I got pissed at God, left maybe 7 years ago. Now deep in insanity and back. Husband still here... still hates program. Wondering why I stay. Must be a payoff somewhere?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 12 speals about "absorbing" other people's moods and having them affect us negatively. It points out that arguing with someone who is intoxicated is like beating my head against the wall, yet prior to program ,I always dove right into the arguments because that i...

womanking · womanking

I've been with my partner for 3 years now. There have been many ups and downs with his drinking and drug use. He ended up in detox and was finally doing outpatient rehab, only for me to find out that he was lying about going to the therapies and meetings, the whole time. While he wasn't drinking at home w...

Ruby Crystal · Ruby Crystal

I need solid coping skills that is why I came to this site. MY AD, I need to detach. HOW?

lucymae · lucymae

And if you have did you try it? Did it work for you?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 13 speaks about Step Seven. This is the Step where we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcoming". The word "humility" sometimes caused me to cringe as I read the step in the beginning. My sponsor explained that I can use the tools, prepare myself to chang...

0211

Attended a few f2f meetings so far and trying to let go of trying to control him...the marriage I had envisioned for us and wanted so badly...the emotional bond I had ached for. I have been in AA for 5 years now, while he is a daily potsmoker which causes an emotional wall between us. The codependency I hav...

Fooled · Fooled

Ive been seeing the signs for the past couple weeks. Here and there. Only been here a little while, but prior I would react like a wild woman. AH was extremely late coming home from work Saturday night. Told me he was stuck in traffic and then got a flat tire. Even had grease and dirt on him to "...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I'm always afraid to argue and think my boyfriend of 2 years will walk out of my life. But I started a argument anyway, because I felt like he is too hard on my 7 year old. He thinks I coddle her. So I finally put my feelings out there and I think I made a few mistakes in what I said by bringing up my exAH into it. My...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, the week started poorly but, it didn't stay that way. I guess because my life revolves around lots of things now, not just the behaviour of one person (who isn't me). Last weekend A came over to spend saturday night and sunday with me. He was sober when he arrived, but managed to get staggeringly dr...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been wanting to ask someone in my group to be my sponsor for a while now. I was just so afraid to ask for help. When I first started there were a few people who approached me and offered to help me and I am grateful to them for doing so. But for some reason or another we just haven't clicked enough that I...

lookingup · lookingup

just found out there's a close by alanon meeting ftf,on wed,at noon time every week,I maybe jumping the guns but I hope not I'm to call back in a hour to get the correct times,....LU is Excited,lol, and been looking for ever seems just decided to google it in my area and found it,wow now how easier can it ge...

joker · joker

Its been 4 days since my abf has come home from work. He is exhausted and sleeps. Get up and goes back to sleep, get up and goes back to sleep. He has no motivation to do anything. I sit on the couch with him but I sense a distance between us. I do not say anything to him due to fear he will flip out. I ask him lets ge...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i think discernment is my new go to word. I need to keep it at the top of my head along with judgements. They go together in my new world. By being in recovery my underbelly is exposd and raw. I need to keep it protected and secure without walls being up and closed off. I need recovery in many areas they ar...

lucymae · lucymae

I have been in Alanon for about 12 years. Before Alanon I was physically abused and terrified all the time. Alanon changed my life and my marriage became better "for awhile". I have been married for over 25 years now. I have hard life situations going on. First I had breast cancer last year,...

lookingup · lookingup

Step work,sponsor,huge amounts of reading cal reading,and Q&a lists everyday,has kept my sanity and living in today .My A/sis that lives with me had a huge argument with her daughter over my A/s breaking into her daughters apartment ,which was WRONG ,I felt really bad for the daughter,but dau...

Younglady · Younglady

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and looking for advice or any perspective you can offer. Last month I found out my fiance was addicted to Oxycontin and has been for 2 1/2 years. We are supposed to get married in a year. After I found out and spoke with his parents, he agreed to go to rehab and is getting bac...

Laurie16 · Laurie16

I'm so glad I found this board. I love reading the posts, and am truly inspired by the participants here and how their stories echo my own. I was reading through another post today about Step One, and I found this step really easy, as I had pretty much given up when I got here. I found the step, at first, ga...

Fooled · Fooled

When I started here I was a hot mess. My RAH was not recovering, he was not sober, and I was angry, resentful, hurt and betrayed. Before I came here I was so resistant to Alanon my self righteousness belief was why do I need recovery I am not the alcoholic. Im the victim here, I shouldn't have to learn ab...

Amandasheart · Amandasheart

So I had enough, I prayed and prayed and things came together so I moved out and I'm now in my own little apartment. Its sad here, I'm in a fog, it's like a death somehow, I feel like I am in mourning now. I miss my codependency. There I said it, I needed him to need me. But now what? I believe in my HP. I am not taki...

purplegoldi · purplegoldi

My partner of almost 7 years comes from a family of alcoholics. However, my partner would be so upset knowing that I am saying this as she feels that i am judgmental. To make a long story short my partner began drinking at age 14 and is now 39. Whenever we visit her family of origin everything centers ar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about acceptance, humanism and being LTP - Less Than Perfect. I'm going to flip things a bit, and start with the Quote for the day - from As We Understood.... "My Higher Power is the confidence within me that makes me unafraid to make mistakes." Our reminder for today sug...

joker · joker

I am working on boundaries with my ABF. He called me yesterday and was drunk and said he got kicked out of his camp where he works (5 hours from me), the night before but he still have his job. He said he is in a hotel room in the city and for me to drive 5 hours and get him. I said NO. I had discussed with him when he...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Left by Jazzie....Mahalo Jazzie...soooo much "My relationship with my AH is so much better now that we are addressing the elephant in the room. You can read my past posts. I first came to al-anon last March/April. I was on the verge of leaving my husband as I just couldn't detach with love and...

Katsfree · Katsfree

So just because I wanted to share.... my RAH and I love to sit and write together, he loves to play the guitar... anyway I had a small poem I started and he said lets make a song... its AMAZING!! Its healing, forgiving, empowering!! So it got me thinking, what do you do to aide in your healing?

Crau · Crau

Sifting through posts it's clear to see how much relationships suffer because of this disease. So many of us have thought about leaving, have left, etc. Can one truly be happy with a recovering alcoholic in their life? It's truly a depressing thing to look at as I read through everyone's Sharings. ...

MeganG · MeganG

Hey Everyone! A little background on me I am married and have 2 beautiful kids and one amazing stepson. I am married to an amazing man, who happens to be an alcoholic. We have been married for almost 6 years and it's been a very challenging time. I feel like I am at a breaking point with my husband. It's funn...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

Well, he went to his bible study and found an intervention instead! Just one of the guys, but he is in his 70's and his father was an alcoholic, and his son is struggling too. Learned about others in the home church that are struggling with various things. Drugs, porn, food. Anyway, he will be going to a gr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about taking risks, changing our old ways of thinking and accepting what is. The reading suggests that life involves one risk after another and that some pain is unavoidable. Old ways of thinking before Al-Anon included avoiding risk, playing things safe and trying to run a...

Ruby Crystal · Ruby Crystal

Hello everyone. I am a mom with a 32 year old daughter who is an alcoholic and drug user. In the past 12 months she has literally lost everything. Her husband of 9 years, her house, her vehicle, her apartment, you name it she has lost it. She has been in a recovery house twice. She has and continues to put our...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well this waiting for a job thing is just not working for me .. lol. I get finger printed on Friday however UGH .. I hate waiting and then I always think UGH .. what if it doesn't workout then I'm totally screwed. It's not that I'm worried .. it's more of UGH .. hurry up already. I will be 2 weeks without a ch...

Tired-of-it · Tired-of-it

Well, My AH told me that The guy he meets with on Wednesday night Bible Study sent him a message asking if he would be there tonight. When my AH said Yes, the guy said "GREAT!" (he is the one that's going to talk with him) MY AH said "I think he gets lonely." So he has no clue it's coming...

Beanie1 · Beanie1

so ah has been staying with his parents for a week now. He has had minimal contact, a few texts saying all the right things, he needs help, he's having a breakdown, he accepts he needs to stop etc! But everyday he has been drunk, not turning up for work, now drinking in the morning. Action speak louder than...

CaitlinTait28 · CaitlinTait28

I'm at rock bottom. Two years ago I fell in love with an older man who is intelligent, charismatic, adventurous, kind-hearted and compassionate; he is also an alcoholic. Out of ignorance, I felt the disease would not manifest as a problem in our relationship, as he has been proudly sober for 17 years...

Laurie16 · Laurie16

I'm new to al-anon, but have found in the few weeks of learning about it, I've taken to it like a sponge to water. Everything I read and hear, resonates and I'm amazed how many stories there are like mine and the hope and inspiration I can get from them. I have found, that I'm really struggling with the ide...

el-cee · el-cee

I have lots to be grateful for. Nothing is perfect and its becoming more and more okay with me, including myself. Im okay with my shortcomings, knowing im working on them , slowly, is enough right now. Its not a race but a journey, right? Im grateful for the weather today, its sunny and cool, i love the col...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't know if people remember the Mathew Wayne Sheppard hate crime it's been a long while. I watched a very moving documentary about him from the stand point of his friends, parents and it gave a beautiful overview of who he was as a human being. If you haven't watched MWS was a Friend of Mine I highly e...

Crau · Crau

My exAbf offered the second bedroom of our house (he is still on the lease) to a friend of his from treatment. He didn't consult me, and just said he did it and said "he doesn't know what he's going to do his fiancÃ© kicked him out, all he wants to is stay sober" So here's where my brain is doing f...

joker · joker

I see I have to high expectations of everything around me and with me. This really hit home for me yesterday when I went and seen the doctor. I have been sick for a year now, nearly died once. I survived 2 intensive care stints and been off work for a year now. After leaving the hospital, after a month, I stil...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's reading addresses knowing the difference between HP's will and my own. It points out that struggling to choose one path over another steals our serenity from us. The writer suggests that a desperate urge to act is usually a sign that they are acting out their own will, and a calm certainty is a s...

stj · stj

Recently someone close to me reached out for help for the first time. I told them that if they are going to work on it, then I am going to be right there with them. My first step is finding someplace with long term recovery, but I have no idea where to start. I have a few names and numbers for places near here...

Debb · Debb

I did not want everyone to think that I disappeared because there is something wrong! On the contrary, all that I have learned and absorbed here from all of you has made my life incredibly better, especially having you all as friends. I noticed, as time went on, that all those questions you ask yoursel...

Andie69 · Andie69

Hi all. My boyfriend has just gone into treatment for alcoholism. I was just wondering if Al-Anon is right for me? A little about me, I have been living with alcoholics my entire life starting with my dad. Me myself drink maybe once a year and only about two or three drinks at that. My bf and I have bee...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

Sometimes after a slip up my AH will come to me and apologize. Last night was one of those nights, I was able to detach from him. I had very little interaction with him in that state. This morning he calls me on my way to work to say "sorry" for last night. I struggle with how to respond to him. Tod...

joker · joker

Good morning. I was in meditation this morning and reading some daily readings on co-dependency and I had two thoughts that entered my mind about relationships. My relationships with people (my ABF) is a reflection of me. His drinking and insanity is a reflection of my insanity within me and I react t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- There are so many messages of strength and hope in this reading. Much of it is a discussion of the alanon pamphlet "A Guide for the Family of the Alcoholic". The first part of today's reading mentions that there are times that the As in our lives may use some of the di...

jocelgp · jocelgp

i tried tracking how often my husband drinks and the level of alcohol intake (light, moderate, heavy). he does not really drink daily but i can feel his desire to get a drink and i really feel disappointed. i know he wants to have a drink so often ... what stops him sometimes is he knows that i don't really f...

Crau · Crau

I have for so many years kept the truth of my exAbf drinking from so many because I was embarrassed. and then through al anon and sharing my story with those in and out of it; it realized I'm not alone. And the judgement I placed on myself for the choices I made to keep my life to myself until it all when to hell...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

divorce will be final in 5mths,AH is in rehab,havnt and dont see oe speak to him anymoe. he is very ill physically and mentally.his sister taking care of his affairs. im with new sober guy for over 3mths i embrace alanon principles for my life. but do i need face to face meetings anymore. i feel depressed...

KT2015 · KT2015

So I live with my AH and my mother whom I would describe as an untreated Al Anon. My mother has her own place in the basement. The two of them don't get along very well. Wait, let me revise that....when forced to deal directly with each other they are just fine. When I am not present (at work or what not) a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	While I'm detaching and applying Al Anon tools (Preview) Does anyone here have anything to share about "near-responsible drinking" or anything resembling that after an A has learnt a lesson? I am totally convinced that its all downhill after the first sip, progressively worsening disease etc. But while I mature applying Al Anon tools, was cu...	manas	9	660	Mar 14, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Has anyone managed to recover a marriage? (Preview) Has anybody successfully recovered and stayed married? I know a long list of things I don't have to do anymore. And the top of my to-do list is to take care of myself. But how in hell does anyone stay in a relationship???	Rebounder	10	998	Mar 14, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Courage to Change 14/3 (Preview) Today's c2c is about pigeons. Specifically, it's about how if you sit under a tree full of pigeons, it won't do you much good to get angry and shout at the pigeons if they poop on you, because that's what pigeons do. Instead, the writer notes, it's wisest to check the tree for pigeons before sitting under...	missmeliss	2	674	Mar 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	today is the day (Preview) well it has been awhile since I posted... not too much has changed...I am still moving through the divorce process, living with a freind and the custody arrangement is 50/50. Today though is the day we go sign our settlement agreement and then the paperwork for the div mediator to start the divorce pr...	Theoceancalls	9	668	Mar 14, 2016 by andromeda
	pretty cages. (Preview) My ah and I seperated physically a year ago. Basically we live in different states. I raise the three kids and he pays the bills. We spend almost every weekend together as a family. There are advantages to this situation. Living with him drives me insane or makes me very tired. But over time the weekends...	a4l	3	454	Mar 14, 2016 by hotrod
	My bf wants us to live together (Preview) Crazy how my life has changed in the past year. My bf, whom I've been with now for almost a year, has asked me to move in with him soon. We have had a few talks about it over the past 2 days and I expressed all my fears and concerns. He told me there were a few he didn't have answers for, but he said he was commit...	andromeda	17	811	Mar 13, 2016 by andromeda
	My own Barriers (Preview) As long as it took me to get through step one, I look at step 2 and think wow ok This is going to take me awhile. Because I have serious trust issues. Its not that I don't believe in God, who is my Higher Power, its that I have kind of lost my faith. For so long my glass has been half empty. Very little be...	Fooled	9	619	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Me and my tool box (Preview) Hi-I just wanted to share a short example of how alanon is in my head in the most wonderful and desirable way. I got into a discussion with my A last evening about her drinking last weekend when she was so nasty. It started out OK but quickly got detoured. She was herself-lying, denial, and I was BRIEF...	Lyne	3	361	Mar 13, 2016 by hotrod
	am i doing something wrong (Preview) I spent my childhood, sheltered in an abusive home. that I never really realized was abusive till years later. I guess when you're little you think your home is normal. Especially, when your parents keep you literally in your room. Both were alcoholics and although i'm sure they loved me, the scars t...	feistychick	16	910	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	lost and confused (Preview) hi all I'm very new to al anon, began attending meetings just 3 months ago. my story... i'm married to a functional alcoholic for 24 years and we have 3 grown kids together. before attending al anon i was at a complete breaking point in my life but i felt i knew exactly what was the right thing to do to begi...	jenny1000	5	630	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back after ~7 yrs. Nice to be home. (Preview) Started program more than 20 years ago. Husband hated it then. I got pissed at God, left maybe 7 years ago. Now deep in insanity and back. Husband still here... still hates program. Wondering why I stay. Must be a payoff somewhere?	Rebounder	6	554	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 3-12-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 12 speals about "absorbing" other people's moods and having them affect us negatively. It points out that arguing with someone who is intoxicated is like beating my head against the wall, yet prior to program ,I always dove right into the arguments because that i...	hotrod	2	639	Mar 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Leaving him...how can I help my kids through it? (Preview) I've been with my partner for 3 years now. There have been many ups and downs with his drinking and drug use. He ended up in detox and was finally doing outpatient rehab, only for me to find out that he was lying about going to the therapies and meetings, the whole time. While he wasn't drinking at home w...	womanking	3	460	Mar 13, 2016 by Newlife girl
	Coping Skills Needed (Preview) I need solid coping skills that is why I came to this site. MY AD, I need to detach. HOW?	Ruby Crystal	12	1394	Mar 13, 2016 by Jerry F
	Has anyone heard of EMPower Plus by TrueHope (Preview) And if you have did you try it? Did it work for you?	lucymae	0	1932	Mar 13, 2016 by lucymae
	Courage to Change 3-13-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 13 speaks about Step Seven. This is the Step where we" humbly ask HP to remove our shortcoming". The word "humility" sometimes caused me to cringe as I read the step in the beginning. My sponsor explained that I can use the tools, prepare myself to chang...	hotrod	6	536	Mar 13, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	New here (Preview) Attended a few f2f meetings so far and trying to let go of trying to control him...the marriage I had envisioned for us and wanted so badly...the emotional bond I had ached for. I have been in AA for 5 years now, while he is a daily potsmoker which causes an emotional wall between us. The codependency I hav...	0211	6	560	Mar 13, 2016 by 0211
	Which is worse (Preview) Ive been seeing the signs for the past couple weeks. Here and there. Only been here a little while, but prior I would react like a wild woman. AH was extremely late coming home from work Saturday night. Told me he was stuck in traffic and then got a flat tire. Even had grease and dirt on him to "...	Fooled	20	684	Mar 13, 2016 by Newlife girl
	I am not good at argueing, but started one last night that continued to this morning (Preview) I'm always afraid to argue and think my boyfriend of 2 years will walk out of my life. But I started a argument anyway, because I felt like he is too hard on my 7 year old. He thinks I coddle her. So I finally put my feelings out there and I think I made a few mistakes in what I said by bringing up my exAH into it. My...	Breakingfree	12	941	Mar 13, 2016 by Newlife girl
	The usual ramble. (Preview) Well, the week started poorly but, it didn't stay that way. I guess because my life revolves around lots of things now, not just the behaviour of one person (who isn't me). Last weekend A came over to spend saturday night and sunday with me. He was sober when he arrived, but managed to get staggeringly dr...	missmeliss	14	708	Mar 12, 2016 by Newlife girl
	I have a sponsor (Preview) I've been wanting to ask someone in my group to be my sponsor for a while now. I was just so afraid to ask for help. When I first started there were a few people who approached me and offered to help me and I am grateful to them for doing so. But for some reason or another we just haven't clicked enough that I...	KT2015	9	630	Mar 12, 2016 by jenny1000
	Ftf meeting (Preview) just found out there's a close by alanon meeting ftf,on wed,at noon time every week,I maybe jumping the guns but I hope not I'm to call back in a hour to get the correct times,....LU is Excited,lol, and been looking for ever seems just decided to google it in my area and found it,wow now how easier can it ge...	lookingup	6	1148	Mar 12, 2016 by lookingup
	Triggers (Preview) Its been 4 days since my abf has come home from work. He is exhausted and sleeps. Get up and goes back to sleep, get up and goes back to sleep. He has no motivation to do anything. I sit on the couch with him but I sense a distance between us. I do not say anything to him due to fear he will flip out. I ask him lets ge...	joker	7	974	Mar 12, 2016 by Bettina2
	Discernment (Preview) i think discernment is my new go to word. I need to keep it at the top of my head along with judgements. They go together in my new world. By being in recovery my underbelly is exposd and raw. I need to keep it protected and secure without walls being up and closed off. I need recovery in many areas they ar...	Mirandac	11	635	Mar 12, 2016 by Mirandac
	Absolutely Terrified! (Preview) I have been in Alanon for about 12 years. Before Alanon I was physically abused and terrified all the time. Alanon changed my life and my marriage became better "for awhile". I have been married for over 25 years now. I have hard life situations going on. First I had breast cancer last year,...	lucymae	6	501	Mar 12, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Insanity (Preview) Step work,sponsor,huge amounts of reading cal reading,and Q&a lists everyday,has kept my sanity and living in today .My A/sis that lives with me had a huge argument with her daughter over my A/s breaking into her daughters apartment ,which was WRONG ,I felt really bad for the daughter,but dau...	lookingup	2	415	Mar 12, 2016 by lookingup
	Fiance's Returning From Rehab This Week... ( 1 2 ) Engaged addict fiance advice support (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and looking for advice or any perspective you can offer. Last month I found out my fiance was addicted to Oxycontin and has been for 2 1/2 years. We are supposed to get married in a year. After I found out and spoke with his parents, he agreed to go to rehab and is getting bac...	Younglady	60	14251	Mar 12, 2016 by hotrod
	A thought on Step One (Preview) I'm so glad I found this board. I love reading the posts, and am truly inspired by the participants here and how their stories echo my own. I was reading through another post today about Step One, and I found this step really easy, as I had pretty much given up when I got here. I found the step, at first, ga...	Laurie16	2	748	Mar 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step One (Preview) When I started here I was a hot mess. My RAH was not recovering, he was not sober, and I was angry, resentful, hurt and betrayed. Before I came here I was so resistant to Alanon my self righteousness belief was why do I need recovery I am not the alcoholic. Im the victim here, I shouldn't have to learn ab...	Fooled	4	483	Mar 11, 2016 by Fooled
	I left (Preview) So I had enough, I prayed and prayed and things came together so I moved out and I'm now in my own little apartment. Its sad here, I'm in a fog, it's like a death somehow, I feel like I am in mourning now. I miss my codependency. There I said it, I needed him to need me. But now what? I believe in my HP. I am not taki...	Amandasheart	13	1173	Mar 11, 2016 by milkwood
	Need help with decision (Preview) My partner of almost 7 years comes from a family of alcoholics. However, my partner would be so upset knowing that I am saying this as she feels that i am judgmental. To make a long story short my partner began drinking at age 14 and is now 39. Whenever we visit her family of origin everything centers ar...	purplegoldi	4	483	Mar 11, 2016 by purplegoldi
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/11/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about acceptance, humanism and being LTP - Less Than Perfect. I'm going to flip things a bit, and start with the Quote for the day - from As We Understood.... "My Higher Power is the confidence within me that makes me unafraid to make mistakes." Our reminder for today sug...	Iamhere	1	502	Mar 11, 2016 by hotrod
	Boundaries (Preview) I am working on boundaries with my ABF. He called me yesterday and was drunk and said he got kicked out of his camp where he works (5 hours from me), the night before but he still have his job. He said he is in a hotel room in the city and for me to drive 5 hours and get him. I said NO. I had discussed with him when he...	joker	0	472	Mar 11, 2016 by joker
	Carrying the message (Preview) Left by Jazzie....Mahalo Jazzie...soooo much "My relationship with my AH is so much better now that we are addressing the elephant in the room. You can read my past posts. I first came to al-anon last March/April. I was on the verge of leaving my husband as I just couldn't detach with love and...	Jerry F	3	506	Mar 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Healing (Preview) So just because I wanted to share.... my RAH and I love to sit and write together, he loves to play the guitar... anyway I had a small poem I started and he said lets make a song... its AMAZING!! Its healing, forgiving, empowering!! So it got me thinking, what do you do to aide in your healing?	Katsfree	4	476	Mar 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is there any hope for success? (Preview) Sifting through posts it's clear to see how much relationships suffer because of this disease. So many of us have thought about leaving, have left, etc. Can one truly be happy with a recovering alcoholic in their life? It's truly a depressing thing to look at as I read through everyone's Sharings. ...	Crau	8	893	Mar 10, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Just need help (Preview) Hey Everyone! A little background on me I am married and have 2 beautiful kids and one amazing stepson. I am married to an amazing man, who happens to be an alcoholic. We have been married for almost 6 years and it's been a very challenging time. I feel like I am at a breaking point with my husband. It's funn...	MeganG	6	982	Mar 10, 2016 by Breakingfree
	He listened! (Preview) Well, he went to his bible study and found an intervention instead! Just one of the guys, but he is in his 70's and his father was an alcoholic, and his son is struggling too. Learned about others in the home church that are struggling with various things. Drugs, porn, food. Anyway, he will be going to a gr...	Tired-of-it	5	551	Mar 10, 2016 by el-cee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/10/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about taking risks, changing our old ways of thinking and accepting what is. The reading suggests that life involves one risk after another and that some pain is unavoidable. Old ways of thinking before Al-Anon included avoiding risk, playing things safe and trying to run a...	Iamhere	5	547	Mar 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Struggling with it all. I have to detach but don't know how. (Preview) Hello everyone. I am a mom with a 32 year old daughter who is an alcoholic and drug user. In the past 12 months she has literally lost everything. Her husband of 9 years, her house, her vehicle, her apartment, you name it she has lost it. She has been in a recovery house twice. She has and continues to put our...	Ruby Crystal	7	562	Mar 10, 2016 by el-cee
	Getting Serious (Preview) Well this waiting for a job thing is just not working for me .. lol. I get finger printed on Friday however UGH .. I hate waiting and then I always think UGH .. what if it doesn't workout then I'm totally screwed. It's not that I'm worried .. it's more of UGH .. hurry up already. I will be 2 weeks without a ch...	SerenityRUS	7	449	Mar 10, 2016 by missmeliss
	Tonight's the night (Preview) Well, My AH told me that The guy he meets with on Wednesday night Bible Study sent him a message asking if he would be there tonight. When my AH said Yes, the guy said "GREAT!" (he is the one that's going to talk with him) MY AH said "I think he gets lonely." So he has no clue it's coming...	Tired-of-it	10	619	Mar 10, 2016 by Tired-of-it
	I feel like I've abonanded him (Preview) so ah has been staying with his parents for a week now. He has had minimal contact, a few texts saying all the right things, he needs help, he's having a breakdown, he accepts he needs to stop etc! But everyday he has been drunk, not turning up for work, now drinking in the morning. Action speak louder than...	Beanie1	8	615	Mar 10, 2016 by Fooled
	Rock bottom with a dry drunk (Preview) I'm at rock bottom. Two years ago I fell in love with an older man who is intelligent, charismatic, adventurous, kind-hearted and compassionate; he is also an alcoholic. Out of ignorance, I felt the disease would not manifest as a problem in our relationship, as he has been proudly sober for 17 years...	CaitlinTait28	7	603	Mar 10, 2016 by Bettina2
	Struggling to detach with love (Preview) I'm new to al-anon, but have found in the few weeks of learning about it, I've taken to it like a sponge to water. Everything I read and hear, resonates and I'm amazed how many stories there are like mine and the hope and inspiration I can get from them. I have found, that I'm really struggling with the ide...	Laurie16	5	595	Mar 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Gratitude (Preview) I have lots to be grateful for. Nothing is perfect and its becoming more and more okay with me, including myself. Im okay with my shortcomings, knowing im working on them , slowly, is enough right now. Its not a race but a journey, right? Im grateful for the weather today, its sunny and cool, i love the col...	el-cee	4	470	Mar 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Anger as a healthy release (Preview) I don't know if people remember the Mathew Wayne Sheppard hate crime it's been a long while. I watched a very moving documentary about him from the stand point of his friends, parents and it gave a beautiful overview of who he was as a human being. If you haven't watched MWS was a Friend of Mine I highly e...	SerenityRUS	5	648	Mar 9, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Boundaries (Preview) My exAbf offered the second bedroom of our house (he is still on the lease) to a friend of his from treatment. He didn't consult me, and just said he did it and said "he doesn't know what he's going to do his fiancÃ© kicked him out, all he wants to is stay sober" So here's where my brain is doing f...	Crau	4	439	Mar 9, 2016 by Mirandac
	expectations (Preview) I see I have to high expectations of everything around me and with me. This really hit home for me yesterday when I went and seen the doctor. I have been sick for a year now, nearly died once. I survived 2 intensive care stints and been off work for a year now. After leaving the hospital, after a month, I stil...	joker	0	368	Mar 9, 2016 by joker
	Courage To Change 9/3 (Preview) Today's reading addresses knowing the difference between HP's will and my own. It points out that struggling to choose one path over another steals our serenity from us. The writer suggests that a desperate urge to act is usually a sign that they are acting out their own will, and a calm certainty is a s...	missmeliss	2	466	Mar 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	from the beginning- looking for guidance guidance help beginning long term recovery recovery extended stay (Preview) Recently someone close to me reached out for help for the first time. I told them that if they are going to work on it, then I am going to be right there with them. My first step is finding someplace with long term recovery, but I have no idea where to start. I have a few names and numbers for places near here...	stj	2	5619	Mar 9, 2016 by hotrod
	The Gifts That MIP/Al-Anon Has Given Me (Preview) I did not want everyone to think that I disappeared because there is something wrong! On the contrary, all that I have learned and absorbed here from all of you has made my life incredibly better, especially having you all as friends. I noticed, as time went on, that all those questions you ask yoursel...	Debb	5	877	Mar 9, 2016 by el-cee
	Is Al-Anon for me?????? (Preview) Hi all. My boyfriend has just gone into treatment for alcoholism. I was just wondering if Al-Anon is right for me? A little about me, I have been living with alcoholics my entire life starting with my dad. Me myself drink maybe once a year and only about two or three drinks at that. My bf and I have bee...	Andie69	4	547	Mar 8, 2016 by Thorn
	What do you say when they say, "sorry"? (Preview) Sometimes after a slip up my AH will come to me and apologize. Last night was one of those nights, I was able to detach from him. I had very little interaction with him in that state. This morning he calls me on my way to work to say "sorry" for last night. I struggle with how to respond to him. Tod...	CoopsMom	8	832	Mar 8, 2016 by Thorn
	Relationships (Preview) Good morning. I was in meditation this morning and reading some daily readings on co-dependency and I had two thoughts that entered my mind about relationships. My relationships with people (my ABF) is a reflection of me. His drinking and insanity is a reflection of my insanity within me and I react t...	joker	7	980	Mar 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 8 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- There are so many messages of strength and hope in this reading. Much of it is a discussion of the alanon pamphlet "A Guide for the Family of the Alcoholic". The first part of today's reading mentions that there are times that the As in our lives may use some of the di...	yanksfan51	2	573	Mar 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	all i want is for him to stop drinking this way (Preview) i tried tracking how often my husband drinks and the level of alcohol intake (light, moderate, heavy). he does not really drink daily but i can feel his desire to get a drink and i really feel disappointed. i know he wants to have a drink so often ... what stops him sometimes is he knows that i don't really f...	jocelgp	9	1284	Mar 8, 2016 by oceanpine
	Telling my story... (Preview) I have for so many years kept the truth of my exAbf drinking from so many because I was embarrassed. and then through al anon and sharing my story with those in and out of it; it realized I'm not alone. And the judgement I placed on myself for the choices I made to keep my life to myself until it all when to hell...	Crau	3	984	Mar 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	question? (Preview) divorce will be final in 5mths,AH is in rehab,havnt and dont see oe speak to him anymoe. he is very ill physically and mentally.his sister taking care of his affairs. im with new sober guy for over 3mths i embrace alanon principles for my life. but do i need face to face meetings anymore. i feel depressed...	YARNCRAZY	7	457	Mar 8, 2016 by maryjane
	Stuck in the middle.... (Preview) So I live with my AH and my mother whom I would describe as an untreated Al Anon. My mother has her own place in the basement. The two of them don't get along very well. Wait, let me revise that....when forced to deal directly with each other they are just fine. When I am not present (at work or what not) a...	KT2015	4	495	Mar 8, 2016 by KT2015
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.