Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

I just had an angry outburst at my a ,it like came out like an reflex violent words I'd never use ,as I grab my Ctc and read upon anger I've come to realize that easy does it is a good tool that I can use before I act out or count to 10 or 100 with deep breaths ,my abf and a sis were fixxing to jump in her car and leave t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning to one and all and happy Friday! Today's reading shares about how uncertain or confused we were when we came to the Al-Anon program. The writer suggests one struggle with understanding what was our responsibility vs. what was not. A lovely list of items resulted from program effort a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK things have been pretty hard lately but, you know. We're rising to the challenge and that's all you can ask of yourself really. I've gone from being housebound and horribly depressed to travelling 1.5 hours each way to my uni and doing classes with live people....7 classes this semester which is mo...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm gonna try and make this long story into a short story if possible,lol,I'm been hanging on to this for days now and it needs to be let out so here it is.....I get a phone call from this woman she is married but slips around on her aged veteran husband she been married to for 4 yrs and she been married 5 or 6 ti...

joker · joker

Yesterday was another nightmare, moving my daughter to her new home. We did it however and its now done. She is 22 years old in April and needs to be on her own. I am now at the house with the ABF-sober for 5 days now. He is determined as ever to stay sober this time around. I believe he hit his bottom this time....

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

As you guys know, I'm really struggling with an unknown physical ailment... Have been for some time. This illness has completely stolen my life, and seemingly all that is me. I feel very close to a vegetable, based on how debilitated and miserable I am. The doctors say they don't know what's wrong, but...

donnaisdone · donnaisdone

Hi there, I have been coming here for 5 months now - I am a work in progress and I truly have so much work to do. I was hoping to get clarity if, when and who I should ask to sponsor me. I have gone to my first face to face meeting and felt so much love there - I needn't see if it is the right fit for it already feel...

lookingup · lookingup

Hugs and more hugs going out to all my peeps here in alanon, loyalty and great friendship and all the Esh I need,,,,,lu

joker · joker

I am so angry today! My daughter who I have been looking after has mental illness and is now just starting to stabilize. Its been a rough 2 years on different medication and just now she is getting better. She appears almost normal and started opening up to her psychiatrist and nurse and father. Last wee...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

Today's C2C reading has me thinking about a conflict I am having: Soon-to-be X and I began our relationship 45 years ago. We were not in the drug scene, thank God, but drinking was just an everyday part of our lives. Of course, in no time, we were drinking alcoholicly. He comes from a family of alcoho...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I had been having a good run. I went to a first F2F meeting and was overwhelmed with the kindness of people there. The speaker said something that unlocked so much emotion in me when it helped me to realize I had been expecting a life that didn't involve the disease. I had failed to acknowledge my AH's s...

lookingup · lookingup

How do I set me a quote for my threads ?

mjferg · mjferg

As I go through this journey of recovery and am blessed with grace and the love of my higher power I often feel a deep sadness at the same time. Not only did I end the relationship with my A, he was also found dead ten months later from an overdose.So my journey has been very painful, as I have had to grieve a d...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c talks about how al-anon can help resolve the contradiction between not wanting to dwell on or be governed by past hurts and disappointments, but also not dismissing them without "dealing". The writer suggests that by joining with others in the fellowship, they feel they have been able to...

el-cee · el-cee

I have this spoilt brat voice in my head at times and when things arent going exactly to my liking I revert to a child and have a wee bit of a subtle, passive manipulative tantrum. Can you relate? This relationship I am in has many beautiful things in it. When I am being a grown up and mature I appreciate it an...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK, it's been a full moon kinda day and that's a for sure. Earlier, daughter decided she didn't want to come to the gym/pool and so i decided to leave her at home with the dog in charge and take myself there for a "quick swim". So I rushed through my swim, and left while it was still light. It's been a crappy da...

mom2_4 · mom2_4

Hello Everyone. I am new here. This is my first post. My son is 25. My son is an alcoholic. I've said it, yet I feel guilt, shame and failure. My son has been on his own off and on for 6-7 years. He always ends up coming back to mom after he has made so many bad choices in his circumstances and burned so man...

Tigerlily · Tigerlily

To begin, I know there are other older threads regarding relationships and how they are affected. This isn't easy to say and I hope I don't come across as some self centred fool but here goes... I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years (I'm 37 he's 33) and engaged for most of that time. Whilst I have no...

Fooled · Fooled

AH and I had a couples counseling session last night with our Pastor. It was right after a verbal exchange in which it appears that he may have been untruthful regarding a large purchase and trying to recoup some of that. The exchange came when I asked him about it and he became very defensive, espec...

scotty · scotty

Hello, I'm new to this forum but need to get things off my chest somehow. I am the wife an alcoholic. I was brought up by an alcoholic father and ironically I'm a alcohol misuse worker! My husband has always been a heavy drinker but things started to get out of control when he suffered his second bout of dep...

John · John

We are charged 16.95 per month for this board, and when it goes into any arrears, they start to tinker with things some to give us a wake up call. Right now we are 50.85 in arrears. S0 they have it where you can't tell new post or replies from already read ones. Because of the highlighting code on their en...

SeaMe4 · SeaMe4

I am here so that I can first and foremost UNDERSTAND and NOT JUDGE. I wish to SUPPORT my girlfriend in a HEALTHY way. Because I can be co-dependent I can easily make excuses for her behavior should she fall back into it. She is clean and has been for a little over a year. I just want the support and understan...

LinSC · LinSC

:) I appreciate it....

Living508 · Living508

grateful member of al anon for several years. father is my qualifier. haven't been able to get to meeting lately due to health problems and a difficult pregnancy while caring for another young child with a husband who works away. anyway, dad went into rehab a few years ago. i have never since him drink s...

howtohelp · howtohelp

I don't know where else to turn. I don't want to walk away from her. She became my employee. We became close friends. She doesn't like to feel, she opened up to me. It took her two years to get on her GED and in two months time I had her done with three of the 4 tests. I pushed and pushed so she got her community pr...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Something weird happened to my account and maybe one of the moderators can address it in this thread or privately. I logged in and first off I had started a topic and usually that is saved to draft for the next time I log in that is gone. Everything on the site looks like it has been read. Is there a reason...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning- Today's reading speaks about the practicing our program tools and keeping an open mind, with a specific mention of meditationband how restorative that practice can be. The writer compares meditation to checking in with her HP as she hornets through life. When meditation was first...

lookingup · lookingup

my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...

Mattie · Mattie

This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...

lookingup · lookingup

As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone.

remember,"Safety Third"my de...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...

petey49 · petey49

He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...

caprilyeous · caprilyeous

Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......

Momof1 · Momof1

This is my first time here. Here is my back story...I'm married and the mother of a seven year old. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict. Her is an equal opportunity drug user...whatever he can get! In January, he decided he wanted to "to get off the hard stuff" and sought out Xanax, whic...

lastonestanding · lastonestanding

I have had limited contact with my alcoholic sibling and my mother for a number of years. I needed boundaries to protect myself from the effects of his drinking (violence) and her enabling. In the course of 6 months, she has been admitted to a nursing home - quite elderly and with dementia. I am her POA...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 21 focuses on listening to the still small voice within and then acting upon what we hear It points out that we cannot see around blind corners and that if we simply ask for guidance, listen and act we will be directed in the right path. The reading goes on to suggest that we m...

joker · joker

I am feeling stronger day by day and the decision to leave the ABF is becoming clearer. Yesterday, he just completed a week drunk. What a nightmare but I did my best to not engage in an argument with him and instead left the room to not be effected by his active drinking. He has gotten himself into trouble....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 20 speaks about the fourth Step Guide:"Blueprint for Progress" . It points out that this book focuses on defining our self-worth while we are taking a searching and fearless moral inventory. Many times we will find that we have judged our value on the basis of our...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am now a Board Certified Registered Nurse! Yesterday I passed and have accomplished the biggest goal I had set for myself since leaving my exAH and heading out into this big world without needing to rely on a man! I have broken so many family cycles and the dysfunction just keeps sloughing off. I truly...

kspec85 · kspec85

Sometimes I forget to be grateful. I thought it might be nice to start a thread For what we are grateful for today. I'm grateful for my job. I don't always like it but it's income does allow me to live fairly comfortable with my children. I'm grateful that my children are healthy. I'm grateful fo...

a4l · a4l

Its my daughters 3rd birthday tomorrow and we are having a small party for her. She loves frozen so there's a bunch of frozen themed stuff and ill make her cake in a letter a and stick some little dolls on it. I've finished stuffing the pinata with lollies and chocolate eggs. But here's the thing. Her dayc...

a4l · a4l

I was tempted to go buy a perfect cake yesterday and I'm so glad I didn't. Today my lovely neighbour came with some of her brood for daughters birthday but not before popping in earlier to see if there was anything I needed from the shops. She was on her way to get daughter a present though I had said honestl...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...

kspec85 · kspec85

I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...

Gailsy · Gailsy

I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...

Delta40 · Delta40

Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...

Wife321 · Wife321

Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...

Jennyp · Jennyp

So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Anger (Preview) I just had an angry outburst at my a ,it like came out like an reflex violent words I'd never use ,as I grab my Ctc and read upon anger I've come to realize that easy does it is a good tool that I can use before I act out or count to 10 or 100 with deep breaths ,my abf and a sis were fixxing to jump in her car and leave t...	lookingup	3	533	Mar 25, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/25/16 (Preview) Good morning to one and all and happy Friday! Today's reading shares about how uncertain or confused we were when we came to the Al-Anon program. The writer suggests one struggle with understanding what was our responsibility vs. what was not. A lovely list of items resulted from program effort a...	Iamhere	2	616	Mar 25, 2016 by hotrod
	The Pig Of England. (Preview) OK things have been pretty hard lately but, you know. We're rising to the challenge and that's all you can ask of yourself really. I've gone from being housebound and horribly depressed to travelling 1.5 hours each way to my uni and doing classes with live people....7 classes this semester which is mo...	missmeliss	4	687	Mar 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Needing to share (Preview) I'm gonna try and make this long story into a short story if possible,lol,I'm been hanging on to this for days now and it needs to be let out so here it is.....I get a phone call from this woman she is married but slips around on her aged veteran husband she been married to for 4 yrs and she been married 5 or 6 ti...	lookingup	4	494	Mar 25, 2016 by lookingup
	Relief (Preview) Yesterday was another nightmare, moving my daughter to her new home. We did it however and its now done. She is 22 years old in April and needs to be on her own. I am now at the house with the ABF-sober for 5 days now. He is determined as ever to stay sober this time around. I believe he hit his bottom this time....	joker	4	477	Mar 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Sick & Scared (Preview) As you guys know, I'm really struggling with an unknown physical ailment... Have been for some time. This illness has completely stolen my life, and seemingly all that is me. I feel very close to a vegetable, based on how debilitated and miserable I am. The doctors say they don't know what's wrong, but...	Jaclyn	10	671	Mar 24, 2016 by a4l
	How/when/who to get as a sponsor? (Preview) Hi there, I have been coming here for 5 months now - I am a work in progress and I truly have so much work to do. I was hoping to get clarity if, when and who I should ask to sponsor me. I have gone to my first face to face meeting and felt so much love there - I needn't see if it is the right fit for it already feel...	donnaisdone	6	641	Mar 24, 2016 by donnaisdone
	Good morning everybody (Preview) Hugs and more hugs going out to all my peeps here in alanon, loyalty and great friendship and all the Esh I need,,,,,lu	lookingup	4	478	Mar 24, 2016 by lookingup
	angry at others (Preview) I am so angry today! My daughter who I have been looking after has mental illness and is now just starting to stabilize. Its been a rough 2 years on different medication and just now she is getting better. She appears almost normal and started opening up to her psychiatrist and nurse and father. Last wee...	joker	3	815	Mar 24, 2016 by joker
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/24/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...	Iamhere	4	634	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Does it matter if it is alcoholism or not? (Preview) Today's C2C reading has me thinking about a conflict I am having: Soon-to-be X and I began our relationship 45 years ago. We were not in the drug scene, thank God, but drinking was just an everyday part of our lives. Of course, in no time, we were drinking alcoholicly. He comes from a family of alcoho...	Rosemeyer	2	635	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Trouble Separating the Person from the Disease (Preview) I had been having a good run. I went to a first F2F meeting and was overwhelmed with the kindness of people there. The speaker said something that unlocked so much emotion in me when it helped me to realize I had been expecting a life that didn't involve the disease. I had failed to acknowledge my AH's s...	sunmustshine	4	745	Mar 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Settings on board (Preview) How do I set me a quote for my threads ?	lookingup	2	424	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	When recovery is bittersweet (Preview) As I go through this journey of recovery and am blessed with grace and the love of my higher power I often feel a deep sadness at the same time. Not only did I end the relationship with my A, he was also found dead ten months later from an overdose.So my journey has been very painful, as I have had to grieve a d...	mjferg	3	669	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To change 23/3 (Preview) Todays c2c talks about how al-anon can help resolve the contradiction between not wanting to dwell on or be governed by past hurts and disappointments, but also not dismissing them without "dealing". The writer suggests that by joining with others in the fellowship, they feel they have been able to...	missmeliss	2	561	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Inner Child - shut up (Preview) I have this spoilt brat voice in my head at times and when things arent going exactly to my liking I revert to a child and have a wee bit of a subtle, passive manipulative tantrum. Can you relate? This relationship I am in has many beautiful things in it. When I am being a grown up and mature I appreciate it an...	el-cee	2	682	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Weird situation that has my cage well and truly rattled. (Preview) OK, it's been a full moon kinda day and that's a for sure. Earlier, daughter decided she didn't want to come to the gym/pool and so i decided to leave her at home with the dog in charge and take myself there for a "quick swim". So I rushed through my swim, and left while it was still light. It's been a crappy da...	missmeliss	11	613	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Son (Preview) Hello Everyone. I am new here. This is my first post. My son is 25. My son is an alcoholic. I've said it, yet I feel guilt, shame and failure. My son has been on his own off and on for 6-7 years. He always ends up coming back to mom after he has made so many bad choices in his circumstances and burned so man...	mom2_4	6	539	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm losing the love of my life to AA (Preview) To begin, I know there are other older threads regarding relationships and how they are affected. This isn't easy to say and I hope I don't come across as some self centred fool but here goes... I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years (I'm 37 he's 33) and engaged for most of that time. Whilst I have no...	Tigerlily	9	736	Mar 23, 2016 by Truth
	He's different (Preview) AH and I had a couples counseling session last night with our Pastor. It was right after a verbal exchange in which it appears that he may have been untruthful regarding a large purchase and trying to recoup some of that. The exchange came when I asked him about it and he became very defensive, espec...	Fooled	8	644	Mar 23, 2016 by Fooled
	struggling (Preview) Hello, I'm new to this forum but need to get things off my chest somehow. I am the wife an alcoholic. I was brought up by an alcoholic father and ironically I'm a alcohol misuse worker! My husband has always been a heavy drinker but things started to get out of control when he suffered his second bout of dep...	scotty	7	571	Mar 23, 2016 by el-cee
	Problems with Board... (Preview) We are charged 16.95 per month for this board, and when it goes into any arrears, they start to tinker with things some to give us a wake up call. Right now we are 50.85 in arrears. S0 they have it where you can't tell new post or replies from already read ones. Because of the highlighting code on their en...	John	3	552	Mar 23, 2016 by a4l
	Support for my Girlfriend (Preview) I am here so that I can first and foremost UNDERSTAND and NOT JUDGE. I wish to SUPPORT my girlfriend in a HEALTHY way. Because I can be co-dependent I can easily make excuses for her behavior should she fall back into it. She is clean and has been for a little over a year. I just want the support and understan...	SeaMe4	5	741	Mar 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	Thank you John you fixed us.... (Preview) :) I appreciate it....	LinSC	2	405	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	punched in the gut (Preview) grateful member of al anon for several years. father is my qualifier. haven't been able to get to meeting lately due to health problems and a difficult pregnancy while caring for another young child with a husband who works away. anyway, dad went into rehab a few years ago. i have never since him drink s...	Living508	3	579	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Best Friend Recovering Addict; Graduated Drug Court, seems to be throwing me away (Preview) I don't know where else to turn. I don't want to walk away from her. She became my employee. We became close friends. She doesn't like to feel, she opened up to me. It took her two years to get on her GED and in two months time I had her done with three of the 4 tests. I pushed and pushed so she got her community pr...	howtohelp	2	593	Mar 22, 2016 by Mattie
	Site Question (Preview) Something weird happened to my account and maybe one of the moderators can address it in this thread or privately. I logged in and first off I had started a topic and usually that is saved to draft for the next time I log in that is gone. Everything on the site looks like it has been read. Is there a reason...	SerenityRUS	15	621	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 22 (Preview) Good morning- Today's reading speaks about the practicing our program tools and keeping an open mind, with a specific mention of meditationband how restorative that practice can be. The writer compares meditation to checking in with her HP as she hornets through life. When meditation was first...	yanksfan51	2	562	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is it pity or love? (Preview) my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...	lookingup	4	898	Mar 22, 2016 by lookingup
	trusting HP but unsure of paths and messages (Preview) I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...	oceanpine	3	552	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Food for thought (Preview) This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...	Mattie	9	658	Mar 21, 2016 by a4l
	My Honest Share !!!!! (Preview) As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...	lookingup	7	685	Mar 21, 2016 by lookingup
	Head In Sand (Preview) Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...	Fedora	22	1116	Mar 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	a poem (Preview) I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone. remember,"Safety Third"my de...	Taraxacum	8	706	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Keeping the focus. . . (Preview) Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...	Taraxacum	12	804	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Now what??? Will the other shoe fall??? (Preview) He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...	petey49	5	611	Mar 21, 2016 by Mattie
	ODAT 3-21: Focusing on Progress in Al-Anon (Preview) Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...	Enigmatic	3	558	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......	caprilyeous	5	634	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	First Time Here... (Preview) This is my first time here. Here is my back story...I'm married and the mother of a seven year old. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict. Her is an equal opportunity drug user...whatever he can get! In January, he decided he wanted to "to get off the hard stuff" and sought out Xanax, whic...	Momof1	5	699	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Adult Protective Services for sibling in another state? (Preview) I have had limited contact with my alcoholic sibling and my mother for a number of years. I needed boundaries to protect myself from the effects of his drinking (violence) and her enabling. In the course of 6 months, she has been admitted to a nursing home - quite elderly and with dementia. I am her POA...	lastonestanding	4	500	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Courage to Change Reading 3-21 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 21 focuses on listening to the still small voice within and then acting upon what we hear It points out that we cannot see around blind corners and that if we simply ask for guidance, listen and act we will be directed in the right path. The reading goes on to suggest that we m...	hotrod	1	655	Mar 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling stronger (Preview) I am feeling stronger day by day and the decision to leave the ABF is becoming clearer. Yesterday, he just completed a week drunk. What a nightmare but I did my best to not engage in an argument with him and instead left the room to not be effected by his active drinking. He has gotten himself into trouble....	joker	1	647	Mar 20, 2016 by a4l
	Courage to Change Reading 3-20-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 20 speaks about the fourth Step Guide:"Blueprint for Progress" . It points out that this book focuses on defining our self-worth while we are taking a searching and fearless moral inventory. Many times we will find that we have judged our value on the basis of our...	hotrod	1	621	Mar 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	I did it!!!! (Preview) I am now a Board Certified Registered Nurse! Yesterday I passed and have accomplished the biggest goal I had set for myself since leaving my exAH and heading out into this big world without needing to rely on a man! I have broken so many family cycles and the dysfunction just keeps sloughing off. I truly...	Breakingfree	16	802	Mar 20, 2016 by andromeda
	Let's List Some Daily Gratitude (Preview) Sometimes I forget to be grateful. I thought it might be nice to start a thread For what we are grateful for today. I'm grateful for my job. I don't always like it but it's income does allow me to live fairly comfortable with my children. I'm grateful that my children are healthy. I'm grateful fo...	kspec85	13	734	Mar 20, 2016 by Gardening
	trying not to stress (Preview) Its my daughters 3rd birthday tomorrow and we are having a small party for her. She loves frozen so there's a bunch of frozen themed stuff and ill make her cake in a letter a and stick some little dolls on it. I've finished stuffing the pinata with lollies and chocolate eggs. But here's the thing. Her dayc...	a4l	14	792	Mar 20, 2016 by hotrod
	learned something today. (Preview) I was tempted to go buy a perfect cake yesterday and I'm so glad I didn't. Today my lovely neighbour came with some of her brood for daughters birthday but not before popping in earlier to see if there was anything I needed from the shops. She was on her way to get daughter a present though I had said honestl...	a4l	3	509	Mar 20, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading 3-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 19 speaks about our compulsion to focus on other people. When we first enter Al-Anon and examine our motives we discovered that many of us have the idea that we are the experts on how everyone else should behave and feel self-righteous when they don't follow our rules of condu...	hotrod	3	561	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Out of the mouth of babes (Preview) Hello everyone! I have been reading, not responding much. I have been going to f2f meetings more, still difficult with them being an hour away, but always, always so glad that I go when I get there :) Nothing much has changed in my life. Active AH. 3 teenagers, each showing their own signs of this awful f...	Fairlee	4	645	Mar 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	I had an Interesting Revelation Today (Preview) I have not attended any F2F meetings. I'm scared. I feel embarrassed. Plus my A is attending AA and NA meetings and Al Anon is held at the same places his meetings are and the whole thing feels awkward and crazy for me. How quick I have been to be like, Get your butt to a meeting, don't tell me your trying when...	kspec85	10	712	Mar 19, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Step 5 (Preview) Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in at the following "addy" and share your thoughts...	hotrod	2	411	Mar 19, 2016 by KathRN
	Honesty and reality (Preview) Had a great meeting today, subject was honesty and then many shared it was Being honest about their reality. No longer in denial And willing to look within And be honest. That is the beauty of alanon you can see your honesty when you are ready to do so. Many come wanting answers to their problems. It ta...	Mirandac	3	703	Mar 19, 2016 by hotrod
	Avoiding Chaos (Preview) Spoke to AH on Skype from rehab tonight. He had told me to expect a call from his therapist a couple of weeks ago. I let him know tonight no one had called. He reiterated they would want me to participate at some point. I agreed. He said we could Skype because it wouldn't work with our daughter ther...	sunmustshine	10	771	Mar 19, 2016 by Mirandac
	feeling sad but hopeful today (Preview) I have not been on this site for quite a long time but find it necessary today to ask for support. For those of you that remember me I have a son who is in recovery for going on 5 years now. For that I am extremely grateful. I have a younger son who is in the military and lives with his wife and 2 children. I am visi...	Gailsy	3	549	Mar 18, 2016 by Fairlee
	Brother's 50th (Preview) Hello. I've attended several meetings thanks to a friend who told me about Al-Anon. I do have difficulty in opening up probably because I come from a family of alcoholics and I'm still learning about boundaries. It feels good having them in my life as I have noticed the effect it has had on my adult ch...	Delta40	6	533	Mar 18, 2016 by Delta40
	Courage to Chance (C2C) - 3/18/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family! Today's daily reading discusses our 8th Tradition - which states taht our 12 Step work should remain nonprofessional. This is further and simply explained that as Al-Anon members, our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) is more than enough to help others recover from...	Iamhere	1	517	Mar 18, 2016 by hotrod
	Husband Lying about smoking! (Preview) Hello, I have never done anything like this before but I am hoping this will help me! I was recently married last March 2015. I was able to help my husband quit smoking. I thought he was still a non smoker, I had my doubts and asked him multiple times to fess up if he started up again. He always had an excuse or...	Wife321	7	807	Mar 17, 2016 by Bettina2
	Week 1/ First meeting (Preview) So I have been to one meeting and have now been doing reasearch which is how I came across this forum. I actually think that 1 meeting (so far) helped me this week.My spouse is a binge drinking alcoholic I guess. There are many times when we can get together with family or friends and he has a few and is fine....	Jennyp	1	523	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/17/16 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change asks us to reflect on "This Too Shall Pass". The reading discusses how no problem lasts forever and no matter how permanently fixed it appears today, it will pass - even the pain. We all face difficult situations and often times those situations b...	Iamhere	1	705	Mar 17, 2016 by hotrod
	First Post/Vent (Preview) I have been relying on this board for support and wisdom for the last couple of months. The stories and shares have been so helpful. I can't get to FTF meetings because long hours at the office already cut into the time I need for my young daughter who struggles with her dad/my AH being away in rehab. Mo...	sunmustshine	3	516	Mar 17, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.