Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Peaf · Peaf

Hi all. I'm new here. Not sure where to start, but I guess background first. My husband is 42, I am 40,we've been together 3 years, married for one. I have 3 daughters (18 & 16 y/o twins) and he has one son (13). The girls live with us, his son is in AZ. We moved to Germany almost 4 months ago. This is the s...

el-cee · el-cee

Thank you for the many gifts I have in my life today. I most likely always had gifts but was too sick to see them. Not physically sick but spiritually and mentally sick. My distrubed and distorted thinking caused by the disease of alcoholism filtering through the generations of my own family acted like...

Layla Marie · Layla Marie

I have been with my fiancé for 3 years now.. I have a son from before and we have a daughter together. I knew he liked to party when we met and due to me having my son at an early age I was intrigued by this environment. It was not an everyday thing and he seemed fine when we were out. It was a few months into da...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hi all My husband's drinking happens everyday. This desease is way bigger than him now. Right now I cannot even ask him a simple question he is out of it. I've gone thru so many apologies, then the very next day BOOM he's at it again. I am going to a depression group, on meds that don't help me calm down while...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I've been working through some disappointment concerning a new job I accepted and have now left. I've been inventorying myself, looking at where red flags might have been present in the interview process. I have found a few and realize I should have resisted accepting this job. Some red...

Hope4Healing · Hope4Healing

Hi, everyone. This is my first time here. My twenty-seven-year-old daughter who works and lives out of the house is an alcoholic. She was diagnosed with OCD and depressive tendencies about eight years ago and was on medication that was no longer working. She said she turned to alcohol to cure her anxi...

Fooled · Fooled

Even before AH went to rehab in January he came home from work and plopped on the couch and slept. Every household responsibility fell on me. He has always admitted he is a napper. Now since he has been home for about 7 weeks, this behavior has returned. I have to nag him to get anything completed....

joker · joker

Since the last ABF last binge, I have lost all feelings of love and respect toward him. I look at him and I am disgusted and I think to myself, what a loser he is. He has nothing worthwhile to give to me and what am I doing with him? I deserve better, not a selfish jerk that only has one thought, alcohol. I am try...

jilld30 · jilld30

It's taken me 6 years to realize my husband is a HFA and marijuana addict. 6 years of a rollercoaster and i'm only just getting help for myself - just finding out that i'm not as crazy as he told me i was. I'm so relieved by everyone's posts - to know that it's not just me, but that so many are suffering t...

LinSC · LinSC

Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them in...

Doves · Doves

Please read my private messages to you as I need your help

hotrod · hotrod

Step 6 has been posted to teh Step Work Board-- Please join in and share your ESH Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61912861/alanon-step-6-3-31-2016/

Iamhere · Iamhere

It's the last day of March and I hope each of you have a great day! Today's Courage to Change reading talks about how many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we reach Al-Anon. We learn to face the real world and to own our actions/reactions. We begin toI beco...

Aerin · Aerin

Hello everyone! This is my first time ever posting to a board like this. I have read through a lot of your posts and they have helped. But I am so new that I am still learning. I hope I make sense in my post so here goes.. I am 45, my boyfriend is 44. We are both divorced with a child each. We do not live together. (...

joker · joker

Yesterday, it was another nightmare. We went to church and my sister called me and asked me to drive her truck after church. The abf got mad, as I was going to my sisters. I see he is trying to isolate me and not let me have any outside contacts. He got mad and left. He lost his drivers license so I have to drive...

Doves · Doves

just really frazzled right now over today's events and incidents. Send prayers, really need them right now and praying this situation that arose today gets straighten up soon so I can enjoy my recovery.

Doves · Doves

when you are online please look at your private message as I sent you one as I need administration help. Thanks

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c reading speaks of the confusion and resistance many of us feel when we arrive at al-anon and are told to "keep the focus on ourselves". Many of us reject this notion because it sounds so foreign, selfish and similar to the way our qualifiers behave so, why would we ever want to be like that? The...

Doves · Doves

Hotrod: I private messaged you and need your help. Thanks

Fooled · Fooled

I am so hard on myself and always feel like I am not doing things correctly. Had a rough day earlier this week with RAH and forgetting my tools and allowing my teen daughter to manipulate me a little. Was very frustrated with myself and my process. This morning, my handicapped sons aide came to me v...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

Since AH "fell love with another woman", he moved out and has been living with a friend and his wife, rent-free. He has filed for divorce, and we are in the 90-day waiting period before it is finalized. He was a dry drunk, and I have no idea if he is drinking now - it's irrelevant. He is so full of anger, and...

littlelionman · littlelionman

First off I want to acknowledge the progress I've made in managing my emotions when my kids act up. Kids will be kids and for the most part I'm happy with the way I'm becoming a more patient and loving parent. That said, getting my kids to stay in bed after bedtime can be frustrating at times. Bedtime is 8...

joker · joker

Its been a nightmare around the house since Sunday when the ABF started drinking after church. I went to my basement suite in the house and let him be. I heard him walking around the house all day and night and talking to himself non stop. I listened to music and TV downstairs to drown his voice out. It work...

Lookingup1230 · Lookingup1230

follow up to my last post. Is it better to attend Al Anon alone, or with family involved? thanks!

Crau · Crau

An alcoholic (active or in recovery) will always have an enabler. True or False? Discuss. I write this not to put focus on the alcoholic but to get us thinking about ourselves and our roles our own lives. And enabling can looks so different; even when the alcoholic is not longer drinking and we ar...

Sober Bunny · Sober Bunny

Dear all, I'm copy/pasting a post I made on another AA board here as I'm too emotionally exhausted right now to relive all this by rewording it. I posted there first because while a little ESH is always a good thing, what I'm really looking for most is advice from those in AA on what they feel is appropriat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a little more than a slip and slide this weekend on my own recovery I have to admit .. I really only feel badly for the fact I was not parent of the year .. I absolutely do not feel badly at all for it though. I was not rude, I was bluntly honest and sometimes other people's ignorance needs a swift yet prec...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today was my face to face meeting. I have been attending this meeting for a year now and it is a great, diverse group that I am privileged to share this journey with. However, with a group of any size, sometimes there are things that will rub others wrong. I generally get along with everyone, but every n...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am actually flowing through life right this moment without any major hiccups which is very nice. I accepted my first RN position and it may be hairy for a few months until we move to our new spot with commuting, but with all we have made it through I know we can do it. We have been house hunting which is fun,...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I told AH last week that he had till end of day Friday to set up some kind of treatment plan or I was going to leave (5 months pregnant with out two year old in tow). I needed some kind of commitment from him, no more promises to go to a meeting, or plans to call a counselor. He's been sick for 10+ years and only tr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Yesterday was my oldest son's birthday - he turned 24. He's got two little ones, works and goes to school. This is the son who relapsed but is in recovery, sort of....he goes to meetings but suggests he doesn't have time, blah, blah, blah! So for the last 2 weeks (really that last 10 years), I've been tr...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

_Good morning everyone- Today's reading is a focus on our slogan "Let Go and Let God". The writer acknowledges when her A left their home, she was very good at the first part of the slogan and let everything go- friends, meetings, readings. She, like many of us (at least initially) believed if the A wer...

Love-rain · Love-rain

Hi all I'm a 26yo woman, still living at home (don't panic, it's not unusual in this country) with my alcoholic dad and apparently severely depressed mum. I've been going to alanon for over two years and doing really well, despite not having a HP (I'm agnostic). I think this is starting to be a problem. I...

FHP · FHP

I tried to post this yesterday but it didn't work. I made some changes, and will try again. Apologies if this shows up twice... My husband of more than 40 years has just discovered he's an alcoholic. He doesn't get drunk, at least not since college days, and has maybe one drink a year. But after retireme...

Fooled · Fooled

Nothing is good enough for you....Its harder than you think....You don't understand Those were his words to me as he walked out the door to his favorite AA meeting. For weeks now made every attempt to get dinner out on time so he can get to his meetings, 5 6 nights a week. Doing my absolute best and work...

Lookingup1230 · Lookingup1230

i am new to the board and am hoping you can help. I have an adult nephew I have not really seen much in years. He is an amazing person, but had a hard childhood (divorce, mom is bipolar, tension with a demanding stepmother and more) He has been a heavy drinker for over 20 years, but decided to stop, move away...

alcamp · alcamp

After struggling with addiction for at least eight years, my husband went to rehab last month. It was incredibly difficult, as I was left at home with our children, businesses and farm to take care of. We made it through and he did great in rehab. His spirits were so good. He was positive. He was pro...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Haven't been on here for awhile. I have been sick but it is all over now. I am frustrated today. But, it can't been helped right this minute. My AH has been struggling w/ the tax forms again. I wish I could help him & get it over w/ We haven't had to fill out taxes for a long time since recently. Long story....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Happy Easter Eve...I'm up checking in with you family, putting the finishing touches on the morning meal donation to the "Easter Feaster" annual breakfast at my Saturday AA Home Group AA at the bay. Every year we do an Easter and Christmas feed and we eat after the meeting. It is quiet in our house th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm posting this a little early because it's Monday night here and I might not get a chance later on. Today's c2c speaks of the pain of trying to hold onto something. It suggests that when we trust our HP to give us what we need, we can let go instead and look forward, and our hands become free for new and wond...

LinSC · LinSC

When it comes to your qualifier you can't tell them what to do or try to control them, or situations you can't have expectations of them, that will only hurt you Believe me they really are not listening to you taking their inventory is a waste of your precious time what you can do is immerse yourself into A...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

Happy Easter! Today was a good day. Thinking back on past Easters and holidays I realized how lucky I am to have had this holiday with no drama. Having no contact with my AH has allowed me to heal in ways that I never thought possible. My kids say I seem more at ease and not stressed out. Just the sound of h...

LinSC · LinSC

"I spent most of my life doing the Serenity prayer backwards, that is, trying to change the external things over which I had no control - other people and life events mostly - and taking no responsibility (except shaming and blaming myself) for my own internal process - over which I can have some degree...

oceanpine · oceanpine

This has been a very difficult week. Last week, I posted that my AH crossed a new boundary - being real drunk in front of the kids, where they witnessed a lot of the negatives of the disease. Although he admitted that night that he had been drinking, the next day he told them he was not drinking - it was the m...

Truth · Truth

Well it has been months since I have had to deal with my ex-A so naturally my emotional state is healing and my trauma is healing. I know my trauma is subsiding because my logical clarity is returning. This brings me to detaching with love vs detaching. I finally get that detaching with love is emotiona...

Fooled · Fooled

He seems sober tonight...which is good Something is under the surface though and I don't know what it is....A constant circle of questions is going through my head. I have verbalized my boundaries. But he hasn't followed them before. He even admitted when he came home from rehab, the more I got on h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 27 speaks about learning how to live within alanon principles. It points out that many times, before program, we have lived from crisis to crisis because it was the only way we knew or understood. The reading suggests the alanon's 12 Traditions are part of recovery and h...

hopeful59 · hopeful59

Hi, This is my first post here. I hope this is the right place to ask.... I have been seeing a man for about a year and a half. When I first met him I did not realize that he was an alcoholic-- he hid it very well, but shortly after it became obvious. Vodka was his drink of choice...he would buy nips and drink sev...

Crau · Crau

I recognize tonight that the boundaries I set often block me from having to feel the emotions I felt when my boundaries weak. I hold it together...stand firm in my wants...and then a weakening in the boundary and flood gate of tears. I'm not dealing with emotions just putting a wall up to block them. how...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I recently learned a girl who grew up in my neighborhood who I liked when I was a kid had become an alcoholic. We were FB friends now but she had been very close to one of my friends from HS who I'm recently back in touch with. He so happens to be coming around to an alcohol problem himself. I was shocke...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 26, speaks about the defects of "perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis." It points out that these " 3 Ps", are three of the worst effects of alcoholism upon our lives. It goes on to say that many of us have a tendency to spend our time waiting for the past to change a...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi all. I have a question that seem obvious but i am traveling and don't have my HoPe For Today book. Someone is directing me to pg 28, so i will look it up online now. would pg 28 be January 28? thank you!

lucymae · lucymae

I have Bipolar 2 and in the middle of medication changes. In the middle of this we may lose our home and move from Washington to Tucson. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I may not go with him. In the past two days I allowed him to wipe me out with his emotional abuse. I feel so tired and don...

joker · joker

The last few days has been filled with a ton of emotions and awareness. I had to experience a lot of acceptance and cried a bucket of tears. I have now come to acceptance about my daughter moving out and living her own life. I see that I am a control freak, I know the way and you better do it my way. I see that ev...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I had been planning all week to go out with a gal I used to work with at my old job and we try to get together about once every other week. We haven't been able to get together over the last couple of weeks. We met up at a really neat place I want to take the kids to, pool, bowling and so on, flat fee and they pla...

andromeda · andromeda

I am feeling very disconnected from my program friends. I still go to one meeting a week, I try to hike once a week, I also try to make it to my son's tennis tournaments when they occur, I am working a new full time job now which requires a LOT of my mental energy, and I spend a LOT of time with my bf and our kids....

Fooled · Fooled

My 16 year old daughter joined a group through school for children of alcoholics, her birth father and current AH, and her paternal grandparent. She met a really nice friend in the group who has an alcoholic mother The two are pretty good friends and my daughter was a big support when the girl had to m...

mjferg · mjferg

I must say I have come a long way and learned so much since starting this program. I remember how I felt when I first began, scared and hopeless. I was struggling in every area of my life. Now, today as I sit here sharing I find myself completely different. I have moved into my own apartment! Some of you know...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So the last few weeks has been a struggle to put it mildly, I don't think I have had a full paycheck for about 6 weeks now and because today is Good Friday I won't get one next week either. I have a lot of financial responsibilities wearing on me. Easter, kids birthdays, I have got to get moved, the stuff fr...

manas · manas

My A is out of rehab since March 12th. He slipped within 24 hours of being out, but is in control, not troubling me like he used to (but I know at some point it most probably will get worse). Anyway, I'm applying Al Anon tools, staying calm, taking it one day. One crazy thing though. He eats like crazy. Like,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New and need to find support (Preview) Hi all. I'm new here. Not sure where to start, but I guess background first. My husband is 42, I am 40,we've been together 3 years, married for one. I have 3 daughters (18 & 16 y/o twins) and he has one son (13). The girls live with us, his son is in AZ. We moved to Germany almost 4 months ago. This is the s...	Peaf	6	630	Apr 1, 2016 by Mirandac
	Dear Higher Power... (Preview) Thank you for the many gifts I have in my life today. I most likely always had gifts but was too sick to see them. Not physically sick but spiritually and mentally sick. My distrubed and distorted thinking caused by the disease of alcoholism filtering through the generations of my own family acted like...	el-cee	4	433	Apr 1, 2016 by Jerry F
	Just need advice from people in similar situations. (Preview) I have been with my fiancé for 3 years now.. I have a son from before and we have a daughter together. I knew he liked to party when we met and due to me having my son at an early age I was intrigued by this environment. It was not an everyday thing and he seemed fine when we were out. It was a few months into da...	Layla Marie	3	893	Apr 1, 2016 by Jerry F
	At wits end, don't even want to go home (Preview) Hi all My husband's drinking happens everyday. This desease is way bigger than him now. Right now I cannot even ask him a simple question he is out of it. I've gone thru so many apologies, then the very next day BOOM he's at it again. I am going to a depression group, on meds that don't help me calm down while...	Worried Wife	5	548	Apr 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Responding vs Reacting (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've been working through some disappointment concerning a new job I accepted and have now left. I've been inventorying myself, looking at where red flags might have been present in the interview process. I have found a few and realize I should have resisted accepting this job. Some red...	tiredtonite	3	959	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	When an adult child is an alcoholic alcoholic child worried parents blackouts medications (Preview) Hi, everyone. This is my first time here. My twenty-seven-year-old daughter who works and lives out of the house is an alcoholic. She was diagnosed with OCD and depressive tendencies about eight years ago and was on medication that was no longer working. She said she turned to alcohol to cure her anxi...	Hope4Healing	14	715	Mar 31, 2016 by Hope4Healing
	Get up and go still hasnt come back (Preview) Even before AH went to rehab in January he came home from work and plopped on the couch and slept. Every household responsibility fell on me. He has always admitted he is a napper. Now since he has been home for about 7 weeks, this behavior has returned. I have to nag him to get anything completed....	Fooled	4	544	Mar 31, 2016 by Fooled
	Trying to understand (Preview) Since the last ABF last binge, I have lost all feelings of love and respect toward him. I look at him and I am disgusted and I think to myself, what a loser he is. He has nothing worthwhile to give to me and what am I doing with him? I deserve better, not a selfish jerk that only has one thought, alcohol. I am try...	joker	6	711	Mar 31, 2016 by Tracy
	High Functioning Alcoholic husband (Preview) It's taken me 6 years to realize my husband is a HFA and marijuana addict. 6 years of a rollercoaster and i'm only just getting help for myself - just finding out that i'm not as crazy as he told me i was. I'm so relieved by everyone's posts - to know that it's not just me, but that so many are suffering t...	jilld30	6	2590	Mar 31, 2016 by Katsfree
	Enabling Behavior (Preview) Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them in...	LinSC	6	702	Mar 31, 2016 by Katsfree
	If Iamhere is on the board right now (Preview) Please read my private messages to you as I need your help	Doves	9	678	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 6 (Preview) Step 6 has been posted to teh Step Work Board-- Please join in and share your ESH Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61912861/alanon-step-6-3-31-2016/	hotrod	1	521	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/31/16 (Preview) It's the last day of March and I hope each of you have a great day! Today's Courage to Change reading talks about how many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we reach Al-Anon. We learn to face the real world and to own our actions/reactions. We begin toI beco...	Iamhere	3	805	Mar 31, 2016 by hotrod
	I am brand new here-Boyfriend binge drinker-I cannot trust him (Preview) Hello everyone! This is my first time ever posting to a board like this. I have read through a lot of your posts and they have helped. But I am so new that I am still learning. I hope I make sense in my post so here goes.. I am 45, my boyfriend is 44. We are both divorced with a child each. We do not live together. (...	Aerin	5	595	Mar 31, 2016 by Aerin
	another insane day (Preview) Yesterday, it was another nightmare. We went to church and my sister called me and asked me to drive her truck after church. The abf got mad, as I was going to my sisters. I see he is trying to isolate me and not let me have any outside contacts. He got mad and left. He lost his drivers license so I have to drive...	joker	8	652	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	So upset (Preview) just really frazzled right now over today's events and incidents. Send prayers, really need them right now and praying this situation that arose today gets straighten up soon so I can enjoy my recovery.	Doves	3	358	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	To Jerry F (Preview) when you are online please look at your private message as I sent you one as I need administration help. Thanks	Doves	7	538	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	Courage To Change 30/3 (Preview) Todays c2c reading speaks of the confusion and resistance many of us feel when we arrive at al-anon and are told to "keep the focus on ourselves". Many of us reject this notion because it sounds so foreign, selfish and similar to the way our qualifiers behave so, why would we ever want to be like that? The...	missmeliss	2	435	Mar 30, 2016 by hotrod
	If hotrod is on here (Preview) Hotrod: I private messaged you and need your help. Thanks	Doves	0	389	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	Learning (Preview) I am so hard on myself and always feel like I am not doing things correctly. Had a rough day earlier this week with RAH and forgetting my tools and allowing my teen daughter to manipulate me a little. Was very frustrated with myself and my process. This morning, my handicapped sons aide came to me v...	Fooled	4	427	Mar 30, 2016 by Fooled
	Detatching when you have to negotiate (Preview) Since AH "fell love with another woman", he moved out and has been living with a friend and his wife, rent-free. He has filed for divorce, and we are in the 90-day waiting period before it is finalized. He was a dry drunk, and I have no idea if he is drinking now - it's irrelevant. He is so full of anger, and...	Rosemeyer	6	609	Mar 30, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Managing frustration at kid's bedtime (Preview) First off I want to acknowledge the progress I've made in managing my emotions when my kids act up. Kids will be kids and for the most part I'm happy with the way I'm becoming a more patient and loving parent. That said, getting my kids to stay in bed after bedtime can be frustrating at times. Bedtime is 8...	littlelionman	6	602	Mar 30, 2016 by Breakingfree
	I did it (Preview) Its been a nightmare around the house since Sunday when the ABF started drinking after church. I went to my basement suite in the house and let him be. I heard him walking around the house all day and night and talking to himself non stop. I listened to music and TV downstairs to drown his voice out. It work...	joker	4	490	Mar 30, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Follow up question. Sorry... (Preview) follow up to my last post. Is it better to attend Al Anon alone, or with family involved? thanks!	Lookingup1230	9	738	Mar 30, 2016 by Lookingup1230
	True or False? (Preview) An alcoholic (active or in recovery) will always have an enabler. True or False? Discuss. I write this not to put focus on the alcoholic but to get us thinking about ourselves and our roles our own lives. And enabling can looks so different; even when the alcoholic is not longer drinking and we ar...	Crau	7	674	Mar 30, 2016 by hotrod
	Girlfriend fudging steps...what to do/not do? (Preview) Dear all, I'm copy/pasting a post I made on another AA board here as I'm too emotionally exhausted right now to relive all this by rewording it. I posted there first because while a little ESH is always a good thing, what I'm really looking for most is advice from those in AA on what they feel is appropriat...	Sober Bunny	5	734	Mar 29, 2016 by Mattie
	My Holiday Slip .. (Preview) I had a little more than a slip and slide this weekend on my own recovery I have to admit .. I really only feel badly for the fact I was not parent of the year .. I absolutely do not feel badly at all for it though. I was not rude, I was bluntly honest and sometimes other people's ignorance needs a swift yet prec...	SerenityRUS	2	532	Mar 29, 2016 by hotrod
	More miracles (Preview) Today was my face to face meeting. I have been attending this meeting for a year now and it is a great, diverse group that I am privileged to share this journey with. However, with a group of any size, sometimes there are things that will rub others wrong. I generally get along with everyone, but every n...	Bethany66	2	489	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reminiscing of leaving the AH and where I went from there..... (Preview) I am actually flowing through life right this moment without any major hiccups which is very nice. I accepted my first RN position and it may be hairy for a few months until we move to our new spot with commuting, but with all we have made it through I know we can do it. We have been house hunting which is fun,...	Breakingfree	6	689	Mar 29, 2016 by el-cee
	I did what I said I would do...now having a hard time sticking it out. (Preview) I told AH last week that he had till end of day Friday to set up some kind of treatment plan or I was going to leave (5 months pregnant with out two year old in tow). I needed some kind of commitment from him, no more promises to go to a meeting, or plans to call a counselor. He's been sick for 10+ years and only tr...	CoopsMom	14	746	Mar 29, 2016 by KT2015
	My Heart Hurts....This Disease Stinks! (Preview) Yesterday was my oldest son's birthday - he turned 24. He's got two little ones, works and goes to school. This is the son who relapsed but is in recovery, sort of....he goes to meetings but suggests he doesn't have time, blah, blah, blah! So for the last 2 weeks (really that last 10 years), I've been tr...	Iamhere	17	853	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 29 (Preview) _Good morning everyone- Today's reading is a focus on our slogan "Let Go and Let God". The writer acknowledges when her A left their home, she was very good at the first part of the slogan and let everything go- friends, meetings, readings. She, like many of us (at least initially) believed if the A wer...	yanksfan51	3	558	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Will it ever get better? adult child alcoholic father help depressed mother AF higher power my life is a mess and i am a stress (Preview) Hi all I'm a 26yo woman, still living at home (don't panic, it's not unusual in this country) with my alcoholic dad and apparently severely depressed mum. I've been going to alanon for over two years and doing really well, despite not having a HP (I'm agnostic). I think this is starting to be a problem. I...	Love-rain	8	7471	Mar 29, 2016 by Mirandac
	Separated and hurting (Preview) I tried to post this yesterday but it didn't work. I made some changes, and will try again. Apologies if this shows up twice... My husband of more than 40 years has just discovered he's an alcoholic. He doesn't get drunk, at least not since college days, and has maybe one drink a year. But after retireme...	FHP	9	640	Mar 29, 2016 by FHP
	Excuses Excuses (Preview) Nothing is good enough for you....Its harder than you think....You don't understand Those were his words to me as he walked out the door to his favorite AA meeting. For weeks now made every attempt to get dinner out on time so he can get to his meetings, 5 6 nights a week. Doing my absolute best and work...	Fooled	5	552	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Advice please....is this enabling? (Preview) i am new to the board and am hoping you can help. I have an adult nephew I have not really seen much in years. He is an amazing person, but had a hard childhood (divorce, mom is bipolar, tension with a demanding stepmother and more) He has been a heavy drinker for over 20 years, but decided to stop, move away...	Lookingup1230	3	591	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just out of rehab and relapsed. (Preview) After struggling with addiction for at least eight years, my husband went to rehab last month. It was incredibly difficult, as I was left at home with our children, businesses and farm to take care of. We made it through and he did great in rehab. His spirits were so good. He was positive. He was pro...	alcamp	9	652	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	haven't been on here... (Preview) Haven't been on here for awhile. I have been sick but it is all over now. I am frustrated today. But, it can't been helped right this minute. My AH has been struggling w/ the tax forms again. I wish I could help him & get it over w/ We haven't had to fill out taxes for a long time since recently. Long story....	Hoot Nanny	3	450	Mar 28, 2016 by hotrod
	Good Morning....Aloha Kakahiaka (Preview) Happy Easter Eve...I'm up checking in with you family, putting the finishing touches on the morning meal donation to the "Easter Feaster" annual breakfast at my Saturday AA Home Group AA at the bay. Every year we do an Easter and Christmas feed and we eat after the meeting. It is quiet in our house th...	Jerry F	4	619	Mar 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage To Change 28/3 (Preview) I'm posting this a little early because it's Monday night here and I might not get a chance later on. Today's c2c speaks of the pain of trying to hold onto something. It suggests that when we trust our HP to give us what we need, we can let go instead and look forward, and our hands become free for new and wond...	missmeliss	4	455	Mar 28, 2016 by Mirandac
	What it all boils down to is: (Preview) When it comes to your qualifier you can't tell them what to do or try to control them, or situations you can't have expectations of them, that will only hurt you Believe me they really are not listening to you taking their inventory is a waste of your precious time what you can do is immerse yourself into A...	LinSC	3	495	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy Easter! (Preview) Happy Easter! Today was a good day. Thinking back on past Easters and holidays I realized how lucky I am to have had this holiday with no drama. Having no contact with my AH has allowed me to heal in ways that I never thought possible. My kids say I seem more at ease and not stressed out. Just the sound of h...	pjwa12726	5	432	Mar 28, 2016 by Fooled
	Controlling People and events (Preview) "I spent most of my life doing the Serenity prayer backwards, that is, trying to change the external things over which I had no control - other people and life events mostly - and taking no responsibility (except shaming and blaming myself) for my own internal process - over which I can have some degree...	LinSC	2	529	Mar 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Praying for serenity; not off to a good start (Preview) This has been a very difficult week. Last week, I posted that my AH crossed a new boundary - being real drunk in front of the kids, where they witnessed a lot of the negatives of the disease. Although he admitted that night that he had been drinking, the next day he told them he was not drinking - it was the m...	oceanpine	4	636	Mar 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Detaching with Love (Preview) Well it has been months since I have had to deal with my ex-A so naturally my emotional state is healing and my trauma is healing. I know my trauma is subsiding because my logical clarity is returning. This brings me to detaching with love vs detaching. I finally get that detaching with love is emotiona...	Truth	4	612	Mar 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Why do I keep doing this to myself? (Preview) He seems sober tonight...which is good Something is under the surface though and I don't know what it is....A constant circle of questions is going through my head. I have verbalized my boundaries. But he hasn't followed them before. He even admitted when he came home from rehab, the more I got on h...	Fooled	26	1018	Mar 27, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change 3-27-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 27 speaks about learning how to live within alanon principles. It points out that many times, before program, we have lived from crisis to crisis because it was the only way we knew or understood. The reading suggests the alanon's 12 Traditions are part of recovery and h...	hotrod	3	621	Mar 27, 2016 by missmeliss
	Recovering (Preview) Hi, This is my first post here. I hope this is the right place to ask.... I have been seeing a man for about a year and a half. When I first met him I did not realize that he was an alcoholic-- he hid it very well, but shortly after it became obvious. Vodka was his drink of choice...he would buy nips and drink sev...	hopeful59	3	363	Mar 27, 2016 by Lyne
	Setting boundaries or building walls? (Preview) I recognize tonight that the boundaries I set often block me from having to feel the emotions I felt when my boundaries weak. I hold it together...stand firm in my wants...and then a weakening in the boundary and flood gate of tears. I'm not dealing with emotions just putting a wall up to block them. how...	Crau	9	1108	Mar 27, 2016 by Freetime
	Tragedy, Reality Check, Grateful (Preview) I recently learned a girl who grew up in my neighborhood who I liked when I was a kid had become an alcoholic. We were FB friends now but she had been very close to one of my friends from HS who I'm recently back in touch with. He so happens to be coming around to an alcohol problem himself. I was shocke...	sunmustshine	5	3004	Mar 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading 3-26-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 26, speaks about the defects of "perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis." It points out that these " 3 Ps", are three of the worst effects of alcoholism upon our lives. It goes on to say that many of us have a tendency to spend our time *waiting for the past* to change a...	hotrod	2	953	Mar 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question, if anyone has a daily reader handy (Preview) Hi all. I have a question that seem obvious but i am traveling and don't have my HoPe For Today book. Someone is directing me to pg 28, so i will look it up online now. would pg 28 be January 28? thank you!	WorkingThroughIt	3	655	Mar 26, 2016 by WorkingThroughIt
	Exhausted and weary. (Preview) I have Bipolar 2 and in the middle of medication changes. In the middle of this we may lose our home and move from Washington to Tucson. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I may not go with him. In the past two days I allowed him to wipe me out with his emotional abuse. I feel so tired and don...	lucymae	1	472	Mar 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Experiencing Changge (Preview) The last few days has been filled with a ton of emotions and awareness. I had to experience a lot of acceptance and cried a bucket of tears. I have now come to acceptance about my daughter moving out and living her own life. I see that I am a control freak, I know the way and you better do it my way. I see that ev...	joker	1	434	Mar 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	LATE night shinanigans (Preview) So I had been planning all week to go out with a gal I used to work with at my old job and we try to get together about once every other week. We haven't been able to get together over the last couple of weeks. We met up at a really neat place I want to take the kids to, pool, bowling and so on, flat fee and they pla...	SerenityRUS	6	544	Mar 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	Feeling like I'm losing program friends (Preview) I am feeling very disconnected from my program friends. I still go to one meeting a week, I try to hike once a week, I also try to make it to my son's tennis tournaments when they occur, I am working a new full time job now which requires a LOT of my mental energy, and I spend a LOT of time with my bf and our kids....	andromeda	10	788	Mar 26, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Didnt see this coming (Preview) My 16 year old daughter joined a group through school for children of alcoholics, her birth father and current AH, and her paternal grandparent. She met a really nice friend in the group who has an alcoholic mother The two are pretty good friends and my daughter was a big support when the girl had to m...	Fooled	6	634	Mar 26, 2016 by hotrod
	The rewards of healthy choices (Preview) I must say I have come a long way and learned so much since starting this program. I remember how I felt when I first began, scared and hopeless. I was struggling in every area of my life. Now, today as I sit here sharing I find myself completely different. I have moved into my own apartment! Some of you know...	mjferg	7	703	Mar 25, 2016 by a4l
	Keeping it real .. lol (Preview) So the last few weeks has been a struggle to put it mildly, I don't think I have had a full paycheck for about 6 weeks now and because today is Good Friday I won't get one next week either. I have a lot of financial responsibilities wearing on me. Easter, kids birthdays, I have got to get moved, the stuff fr...	SerenityRUS	2	667	Mar 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's OK but eating like crazy (Preview) My A is out of rehab since March 12th. He slipped within 24 hours of being out, but is in control, not troubling me like he used to (but I know at some point it most probably will get worse). Anyway, I'm applying Al Anon tools, staying calm, taking it one day. One crazy thing though. He eats like crazy. Like,...	manas	12	705	Mar 25, 2016 by Inga
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.