Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Truth · Truth

Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...

hotrod · Newbie

CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...

debvin22 · debvin22

Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...

gribouille2701 · gribouille2701

Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

My bf hasn't had a drink in over 3 weeks. He's doing really well. He said he was done and so far, he's kept his word. How long should he be sober before I can start trusting him again? Still trying to figure out the job situation. On the bright side, I'm only $52 short on rent. Not sure where I'm gonna get...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 24 speaks about the slogan,"Easy Does it". It points out that many times we try to force solutions and end up being frustrated and disheartened in the process. If we use the slogan" Easy does it" ,it is interesting to observe the results. Life is more serene because I'm not p...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The last pearl to the necklace arrived at 7:00 something last evening and his name is Levi. He takes the character form of the other side of the family and not so much mine. That is how it has often come about for us as our family is multi-racial as so many pacific islanders are. He weighed in at 7 pound...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 23 speaks about being "shut down" and not feeling. The reading points out that as the result of living with this disease many of us have reached the point where we could experience life without being moved by it . This is a destructive tool that we developed as a result of livin...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I have to admit this has been a worry to me for a month now. He has been bringing up this topic, yes for a month now and the day is coming near, tomorrow! He has been bringing up the topic that he will be going out for a drink with his friends to celebrate his birthday. He is being nice like a kid waiting for hi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Why is it that it seems that lots of people like to create controversy & lies then gossip about it? I am so sick of the media assuming things. IF I was in the position that some people are, I would be outraged. I am not a gossip generally speaking but I care about most people I talk about. I guess I can slip...

Fedora · Fedora

Hi everyone. I attended a counseling session today and my "homework" was to confront my AH about the booze under our bed. "Normal people do not keep bottles of booze under your bed", she said. "If he's going to drink, tell him that you know that, and he should do it in front of you. If it's all in secret, it...

Doves · Doves

This could apply to any of you as you deal with your alcoholic or even dry drunk, but what I'm about to tell you is about my teenage son (almost alcoholic, definitely a dry drunk in personality the last two years and weed smoker). Last night he didn't have to work at his part time job and of course went out w...

Bianca75 · Bianca75

I have only suspected my son is an alcoholic for maybe a month. He received the diagnosis on Tuesday. He's currently sober because we forced it on him..He says he doesn't want to be an alcoholic, but he acts like one every. I think you call that dry drunk. I can't express to you the depth of my pain right now...

Jen61 · Jen61

I joined MIP a little over 3 years ago. I have also been in face to face meetings with Al-Anon, AA and ACOA. None of this makes me a hero, but it does help me to understand why people become addicted, how it affects the whole family and how to survive.A year ago this July 14th I lost one of my best friends to C...

Gardening · Gardening

Hello all, So AH was doing good and now he has relapsed. I knew it was coming. He had a few drinks with friends multiple nights in a row. A glass of wine with dinner. And then a blow up. He is currently pouting because he got mad at me and said i dont believe him that he wasnt drunk. He now admits he was drunk bu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yeah I actually still ask that question? I am not going to do a poor me. I just want to throw out my garbage! Pity is not in my vocabulary. OK so I can be a whiner. So today I noticed nothing new but my Ah is pissy. He didn't know where I was after church & couldn't wait to pick me up so he again commented that h...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My AH is on his second day of sickness after about a two week bender. It was a bad one this time with an average of a fifth of vodka or whiskey a day. I knew he would crash and burn at some point and it started Saturday morning. All day he was throwing up and had the shakes. He slept most of the day. Today he i...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I really don't want to post this. Because I feel like it is too complex to describe. But I'll try to be simple. I'm curious if others have had a similar experience/feeling about sex with their A, with the A using it as a drug. Or maybe that's something that people in general do, and some of them happen to be A...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...

andromeda · andromeda

Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...

lookingup · lookingup

it just don't seem right that I should put up with a addict sisters behavior it don't never stop comes and goes ,and it's all so crazy ,listens in on my conversations and even gets so ugly at me on ph that I hang up,she gets so messed up on her drugs that she turns on me,I got our brother down for a few days he has...

FHP · FHP

Last week, my husband's sponsor told him we shouldn't talk at all except via text, and even then only about logistics, because the way it has been, every few days he suddenly gets angry at me out of the blue and that triggers my chronic illness and I get sicker. His sponsor said we need space so we can both h...

Tiger Lady · Tiger Lady

Hi all, this is my first attempt at anything Al-anon. My work schedule is crazy and when I am off work I have kids to watch or AH goes to a meeting, so that leaves me with no opportunity for home town meetings. I keep wanting to join in the weeknight meetings on this site but haven't made it home in time yet. I'...

JuliAn1413 · JuliAn1413

I feel scared. I finally "get" how serious an enabler I have been with my Adult Child and I don't know how to transition in the midst of everything. I feel very strongly that if I had set boundaries earlier that things would have been better and my son would be in a healthier place. No matter what anyone...

a4l · a4l

Well, a huge weight has been lifted today. Today i received some official mail and found myself immediately doing what I imagine a normal person would do. I picked up my phone and called to sort things out. Its a child support matter. I had to call my country of origin, and honestly even hearing the kiwi a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family and happy Thursday to one and all.... Today's Courage to Change reading discusses the unity we can discover through diversity in Al-Anon. We learn from Tradition 4 that each group is autonomous - free to conduct meetings in a way that works for it's members as long as it abides...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, In doing some Step 4 inventory work, I have been working on getting more clear on my value system. My exBF and I had differing interests - I am an 'athlete', a runner, I workout, I'm a personal trainer. He likes sports, he plays golf, he likes to do things around his house. I believe our relation...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

My AH has been sober for a few months after a brief relapse in November. I know there are times when I would like to know if he has been drinking due to his behavior, however I also know that this same thing occurs on days when there was no way he could have had a drink. EVERY NIGHT, typically at about dinn...

Lupo · Lupo

So it's been a long time since I have been on this site. My alcoholic/addict wife has had many relapses over the yers, some. About a year ago I got my own place due to her heavy drinking and using at home, after about 6 months of living separately and her with some clean time she gradually started to move bac...

Doves · Doves

The other night my son started ranting at me because I refuse to help him get out of the huge mess he knowingly and consciously chose to put himself in knowing the what the full consequences would be should he be caught which he was. He tried all the guilt trips, asked me why I ever became a mother ( yeah beca...

Jerry F · Jerry F

...not so much for me and for a program sister who is going to be going thru yet another open heart surgery which comes with a lack of confidence from her surgeons. Her name is Robin and she has triple decades of sobriety. She is a mutually supportive sister and a double winner and is going over to Maui...

Bianca75 · Bianca75

It seems like most of you are dealing with an alcoholic partner, spouse, or parent. Is there anyone else who is parent to an alcoholic teen? You can't just leave a child even if they are tearing you up inside. I feel intolerably trapped. Some days the grief is unbearable.

Sara in CO · Sara in CO

Well. This is my first post ever to any Alanon board or site. And all I can say is I'm terrified to go to my first meeting. I try to tell myself in not codependent, but I know in my heart I'm terrified of letting go. My biggest fear is just letting my A husband do what he wants. And him taking full advantage. ...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C talks abot learning that it's safe to be ourselves in al-anon. The writer shares that they feel they can share embarrassing secrets they once kept carefully hidden with their al-anon friends, where once they would keep quiet at all costs. They also share that once they refused to smile be...

Aerin · Aerin

So for the past 6 months A really seemed to be making real progress trying to make changes, and was doing pretty good. But his His rational is that he def doesnt need AA, but that he is going to quit on own by drinking less and the days in between drinking binges will get longer until he stops. (he promises he...

missmeliss · missmeliss

As I've mentioned, daughter's father, Faceache, has organised to take daughter on a family vacation that causes her to miss school every year since she was 5. Anyway it's made me angry for a long time; we have school holidays 4 times a year here and it's extremely simple to organise vacations during th...

BeYoutiful · BeYoutiful

I've been with my alcoholic boyfriend (AB?) for about 7 months now. The first 3 months I was clueless. I knew something was up because he had mentioned that he USED TO be an alcoholic, but it wasn't until me and his mom took him to the emergency room in December and found out that his BAL was 8 times over th...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

My company decided to run a thorough background check on all employees. Mine turned up something that shouldn't be there. I haven't been fired - but I can't go to work until it gets straightened out. Who knows how long that will take? I can't afford to miss much work - just missing today is going to ma...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP family. I wanted to share some things that have happened in my life recently. First, during this month, I lost it badly over an employment decision my RAH was thinking of. I simply could not deal with the proposed change he was considering. No matter how hard I tried to respect him and le...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Good Monday morning all, I've been doing some Step 4 work around my tendency to people please, to the degree that I sometimes give up my own value system or self discipline in order to 'go along with' others. Rather than speak up and say what I mean and mean what I say, even if it is 'unpopular', I am the ni...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

My communication (emails) with my boyfriend are causing me confusion. He has 'explanations' for every one of my concerns, and he feels I have drawn 'wild conclusions' and that I continue to attack his character and judge him as an 'addict' unfairly. He has already acknowledged that the pot was rec...

lookingup · lookingup

A/sis has been on a war path I told her to move out again to no avail except that I couldn't make her leave cause she got mail coming here with her name on it she done that soon after moving in she put in for a change of address and then her mail filled up my mailbox wished I'd told her to get her a p.o. Box now to lat...

Fedora · Fedora

Today I visited with a friend who I've been close to for most of my life. However, in the last year I have kept most of the talk about my AH out of our conversations. I decided that I was tired of saying "everything is GREAT" when she asked about my life. So I told her what was Really going on with the spouse, th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- This reading is about how for some of us recovery was imagined with a 'finish line'. If we just did what we were supposed to do, at some point we would graduate from Alanon and really start living our lives! The writer points out that after a couple of years in the program charact...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, today I received an email from my now ex boyfriend. I wanted to share an example of what makes me so confused. Essentially he feels I betrayed him and attacked his character unfairly. That I 'pretended' to go along with his 'habits' all along and suddenly did an about face after my heart attac...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c suggests listing all of the things we feel we need, but have been denied by others, such as respect, affection, communication, etc. It suggests we then consider that we CAN have these things if we are willing to give what we want to receive, and be what we want to attract. In reviewing this...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I have no problem at all admitting that I'm powerless over alcohol. I can control my drinking because I'm not an alcoholic and I rarely drink - when I do, its usually not more than a wine cooler or two. I know that I can't control my boyfriend's drinking. If he decides to drink again, that's on him and th...

Jennyp · Jennyp

I have been attending weekly FTF meetings for abut a month now and I cannot express how much these , along with this board,have helped me. I was overwhelmed at the beginning from really reading too much literature and now stick to a topic or reading a day. I compare my thinking now to almost a fog being lif...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - off to Florida I went and had a lovely time. The wedding was awesome, my nephew and his bride were adorable and all went well. I went on a few 'field trips' that were not in my wheel-house because it seemed like the right thing to do. I did not get enough sleep, as we know happens but it was awesome! My n...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I participated in an online alanon meeting earlier. In the beginning, they asked for new people to introduce themselves and give a short description of their qualifier and how he/she acts. Someone told me that I didn't really belong in alanon because I'm not being abused or mistreated and his drin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Good to have you here. I got good stuff from your share so am grateful and open to more...((((hugs))))

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Baby Steps (Preview) Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...	Truth	11	632	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	My father passed away (Preview) My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...	Mirandac	31	751	Apr 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	Moved this post by CheezyNana a new member from Sticky (Preview) CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...	hotrod	4	647	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question for Hawaii Double Winners or Maui Residents only please (Preview) First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...	Doingmybest	3	2452	Apr 25, 2016 by Doingmybest
	NEED YOUR THOUGHTS (Preview) I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...	YARNCRAZY	5	548	Apr 25, 2016 by hotrod
	New here and just left alcoholic spouse of 18 years (Preview) Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...	debvin22	7	666	Apr 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Explaining alcoholism, detachment and forgiveness to a disabled Adult Child??? (Preview) It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...	Rosemeyer	3	506	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	my mum is in danger and I don't know what to do and how to do it (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...	gribouille2701	6	582	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Wondering When? (Preview) My bf hasn't had a drink in over 3 weeks. He's doing really well. He said he was done and so far, he's kept his word. How long should he be sober before I can start trusting him again? Still trying to figure out the job situation. On the bright side, I'm only $52 short on rent. Not sure where I'm gonna get...	WhiskeyLullabye	11	662	Apr 24, 2016 by el-cee
	C2C 4-24-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 24 speaks about the slogan,"Easy Does it". It points out that many times we try to force solutions and end up being frustrated and disheartened in the process. If we use the slogan" Easy does it" ,it is interesting to observe the results. Life is more serene because I'm not p...	hotrod	2	431	Apr 24, 2016 by missmeliss
	Levi is in the house.... (Preview) The last pearl to the necklace arrived at 7:00 something last evening and his name is Levi. He takes the character form of the other side of the family and not so much mine. That is how it has often come about for us as our family is multi-racial as so many pacific islanders are. He weighed in at 7 pound...	Jerry F	13	704	Apr 24, 2016 by Doingmybest
	C2C 4-23-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 23 speaks about being "shut down" and not feeling. The reading points out that as the result of living with this disease many of us have reached the point where we could experience life without being moved by it . This is a destructive tool that we developed as a result of livin...	hotrod	6	803	Apr 24, 2016 by Truth
	it's my AH's birthday... HELP1 (Preview) I have to admit this has been a worry to me for a month now. He has been bringing up this topic, yes for a month now and the day is coming near, tomorrow! He has been bringing up the topic that he will be going out for a drink with his friends to celebrate his birthday. He is being nice like a kid waiting for hi...	jocelgp	9	679	Apr 23, 2016 by jocelgp
	contervesy, lies & gossip. (Preview) Why is it that it seems that lots of people like to create controversy & lies then gossip about it? I am so sick of the media assuming things. IF I was in the position that some people are, I would be outraged. I am not a gossip generally speaking but I care about most people I talk about. I guess I can slip...	Hoot Nanny	2	552	Apr 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Enabler question, unrelated HP musing, and a question about books (Preview) Hi everyone. I attended a counseling session today and my "homework" was to confront my AH about the booze under our bed. "Normal people do not keep bottles of booze under your bed", she said. "If he's going to drink, tell him that you know that, and he should do it in front of you. If it's all in secret, it...	Fedora	4	679	Apr 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	My dog taught me a lesson in detachment (Preview) This could apply to any of you as you deal with your alcoholic or even dry drunk, but what I'm about to tell you is about my teenage son (almost alcoholic, definitely a dry drunk in personality the last two years and weed smoker). Last night he didn't have to work at his part time job and of course went out w...	Doves	2	889	Apr 23, 2016 by Hope4Healing
	Brand new to this (Preview) I have only suspected my son is an alcoholic for maybe a month. He received the diagnosis on Tuesday. He's currently sober because we forced it on him..He says he doesn't want to be an alcoholic, but he acts like one every. I think you call that dry drunk. I can't express to you the depth of my pain right now...	Bianca75	11	692	Apr 22, 2016 by Doves
	Just today... (Preview) I joined MIP a little over 3 years ago. I have also been in face to face meetings with Al-Anon, AA and ACOA. None of this makes me a hero, but it does help me to understand why people become addicted, how it affects the whole family and how to survive.A year ago this July 14th I lost one of my best friends to C...	Jen61	3	472	Apr 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reorganizing (Preview) Hello all, So AH was doing good and now he has relapsed. I knew it was coming. He had a few drinks with friends multiple nights in a row. A glass of wine with dinner. And then a blow up. He is currently pouting because he got mad at me and said i dont believe him that he wasnt drunk. He now admits he was drunk bu...	Gardening	7	546	Apr 22, 2016 by Bella0104
	why me? (Preview) Yeah I actually still ask that question? I am not going to do a poor me. I just want to throw out my garbage! Pity is not in my vocabulary. OK so I can be a whiner. So today I noticed nothing new but my Ah is pissy. He didn't know where I was after church & couldn't wait to pick me up so he again commented that h...	Hoot Nanny	5	605	Apr 22, 2016 by Bella0104
	Not sure what I am feeling...but it doesn't feel good (Preview) My AH is on his second day of sickness after about a two week bender. It was a bad one this time with an average of a fifth of vodka or whiskey a day. I knew he would crash and burn at some point and it started Saturday morning. All day he was throwing up and had the shakes. He slept most of the day. Today he i...	Bethany66	16	780	Apr 22, 2016 by lookingup
	sex as a drug? (Preview) I really don't want to post this. Because I feel like it is too complex to describe. But I'll try to be simple. I'm curious if others have had a similar experience/feeling about sex with their A, with the A using it as a drug. Or maybe that's something that people in general do, and some of them happen to be A...	oceanpine	8	634	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Question (Preview) Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...	pinkchip	24	995	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Would this be a red flag to you? (Preview) Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...	andromeda	12	792	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	this is what it sounds like... (Preview) When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...	Hoot Nanny	7	587	Apr 22, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/22/2016 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...	Iamhere	2	615	Apr 22, 2016 by missmeliss
	16 Days dry, and all is pretty okay. (Preview) Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...	sweetness34	4	688	Apr 22, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Annoyed (Preview) I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...	YARNCRAZY	3	557	Apr 21, 2016 by hotrod
	Letting go and letting God? (Preview) So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...	pjwa12726	4	635	Apr 21, 2016 by pjwa12726
	Venting (Preview) it just don't seem right that I should put up with a addict sisters behavior it don't never stop comes and goes ,and it's all so crazy ,listens in on my conversations and even gets so ugly at me on ph that I hang up,she gets so messed up on her drugs that she turns on me,I got our brother down for a few days he has...	lookingup	3	431	Apr 21, 2016 by lookingup
	I don't understand what's happening (Preview) Last week, my husband's sponsor told him we shouldn't talk at all except via text, and even then only about logistics, because the way it has been, every few days he suddenly gets angry at me out of the blue and that triggers my chronic illness and I get sicker. His sponsor said we need space so we can both h...	FHP	13	824	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Lost newbie (Preview) Hi all, this is my first attempt at anything Al-anon. My work schedule is crazy and when I am off work I have kids to watch or AH goes to a meeting, so that leaves me with no opportunity for home town meetings. I keep wanting to join in the weeknight meetings on this site but haven't made it home in time yet. I'...	Tiger Lady	3	564	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	I need help (Preview) I feel scared. I finally "get" how serious an enabler I have been with my Adult Child and I don't know how to transition in the midst of everything. I feel very strongly that if I had set boundaries earlier that things would have been better and my son would be in a healthier place. No matter what anyone...	JuliAn1413	8	608	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	a bit of progress (Preview) Well, a huge weight has been lifted today. Today i received some official mail and found myself immediately doing what I imagine a normal person would do. I picked up my phone and called to sort things out. Its a child support matter. I had to call my country of origin, and honestly even hearing the kiwi a...	a4l	4	527	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/21/2016 (Preview) Good morning MIP family and happy Thursday to one and all.... Today's Courage to Change reading discusses the unity we can discover through diversity in Al-Anon. We learn from Tradition 4 that each group is autonomous - free to conduct meetings in a way that works for it's members as long as it abides...	Iamhere	4	450	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Shared Values in Relationships (Preview) Hi all, In doing some Step 4 inventory work, I have been working on getting more clear on my value system. My exBF and I had differing interests - I am an 'athlete', a runner, I workout, I'm a personal trainer. He likes sports, he plays golf, he likes to do things around his house. I believe our relation...	CyndiODAT	4	796	Apr 21, 2016 by Bethany66
	Nightly Fights - Sober (Preview) My AH has been sober for a few months after a brief relapse in November. I know there are times when I would like to know if he has been drinking due to his behavior, however I also know that this same thing occurs on days when there was no way he could have had a drink. EVERY NIGHT, typically at about dinn...	EarlyBird	3	602	Apr 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	What to do now. (Preview) So it's been a long time since I have been on this site. My alcoholic/addict wife has had many relapses over the yers, some. About a year ago I got my own place due to her heavy drinking and using at home, after about 6 months of living separately and her with some clean time she gradually started to move bac...	Lupo	5	467	Apr 21, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Feeling like others are threatened by my recovery (Preview) The other night my son started ranting at me because I refuse to help him get out of the huge mess he knowingly and consciously chose to put himself in knowing the what the full consequences would be should he be caught which he was. He tried all the guilt trips, asked me why I ever became a mother ( yeah beca...	Doves	3	526	Apr 21, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	I'm asking for support (Preview) ...not so much for me and for a program sister who is going to be going thru yet another open heart surgery which comes with a lack of confidence from her surgeons. Her name is Robin and she has triple decades of sobriety. She is a mutually supportive sister and a double winner and is going over to Maui...	Jerry F	21	1014	Apr 21, 2016 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic son (Preview) It seems like most of you are dealing with an alcoholic partner, spouse, or parent. Is there anyone else who is parent to an alcoholic teen? You can't just leave a child even if they are tearing you up inside. I feel intolerably trapped. Some days the grief is unbearable.	Bianca75	11	630	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	New. Lost. Scared. (Preview) Well. This is my first post ever to any Alanon board or site. And all I can say is I'm terrified to go to my first meeting. I try to tell myself in not codependent, but I know in my heart I'm terrified of letting go. My biggest fear is just letting my A husband do what he wants. And him taking full advantage. ...	Sara in CO	8	619	Apr 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 20/4 (Preview) Today's C2C talks abot learning that it's safe to be ourselves in al-anon. The writer shares that they feel they can share embarrassing secrets they once kept carefully hidden with their al-anon friends, where once they would keep quiet at all costs. They also share that once they refused to smile be...	missmeliss	3	490	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	He seems to be going backwards! (Preview) So for the past 6 months A really seemed to be making real progress trying to make changes, and was doing pretty good. But his His rational is that he def doesnt need AA, but that he is going to quit on own by drinking less and the days in between drinking binges will get longer until he stops. (he promises he...	Aerin	9	659	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Here we go again. (Preview) As I've mentioned, daughter's father, Faceache, has organised to take daughter on a family vacation that causes her to miss school every year since she was 5. Anyway it's made me angry for a long time; we have school holidays 4 times a year here and it's extremely simple to organise vacations during th...	missmeliss	8	863	Apr 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Don't Know What to do (Preview) I've been with my alcoholic boyfriend (AB?) for about 7 months now. The first 3 months I was clueless. I knew something was up because he had mentioned that he USED TO be an alcoholic, but it wasn't until me and his mom took him to the emergency room in December and found out that his BAL was 8 times over th...	BeYoutiful	4	553	Apr 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Can't Catch A Break (Preview) My company decided to run a thorough background check on all employees. Mine turned up something that shouldn't be there. I haven't been fired - but I can't go to work until it gets straightened out. Who knows how long that will take? I can't afford to miss much work - just missing today is going to ma...	WhiskeyLullabye	5	734	Apr 19, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Very emotional weekend after strange and emotional month. (Preview) Hello my MIP family. I wanted to share some things that have happened in my life recently. First, during this month, I lost it badly over an employment decision my RAH was thinking of. I simply could not deal with the proposed change he was considering. No matter how hard I tried to respect him and le...	Doingmybest	5	494	Apr 19, 2016 by hotrod
	People pleasing, saying 'NO' (Preview) Good Monday morning all, I've been doing some Step 4 work around my tendency to people please, to the degree that I sometimes give up my own value system or self discipline in order to 'go along with' others. Rather than speak up and say what I mean and mean what I say, even if it is 'unpopular', I am the ni...	CyndiODAT	9	1181	Apr 19, 2016 by missmeliss
	Confused (Preview) My communication (emails) with my boyfriend are causing me confusion. He has 'explanations' for every one of my concerns, and he feels I have drawn 'wild conclusions' and that I continue to attack his character and judge him as an 'addict' unfairly. He has already acknowledged that the pot was rec...	CyndiODAT	15	581	Apr 19, 2016 by Mattie
	Forgot my toolkit,needs organised . (Preview) A/sis has been on a war path I told her to move out again to no avail except that I couldn't make her leave cause she got mail coming here with her name on it she done that soon after moving in she put in for a change of address and then her mail filled up my mailbox wished I'd told her to get her a p.o. Box now to lat...	lookingup	4	499	Apr 19, 2016 by Taraxacum
	friends who already knew ... and why do I keep having the same conversations with AH? (Preview) Today I visited with a friend who I've been close to for most of my life. However, in the last year I have kept most of the talk about my AH out of our conversations. I decided that I was tired of saying "everything is GREAT" when she asked about my life. So I told her what was Really going on with the spouse, th...	Fedora	7	559	Apr 19, 2016 by milkwood
	Hope for Today Apr 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone- This reading is about how for some of us recovery was imagined with a 'finish line'. If we just did what we were supposed to do, at some point we would graduate from Alanon and really start living our lives! The writer points out that after a couple of years in the program charact...	yanksfan51	4	418	Apr 19, 2016 by andromeda
	What to make of this? (Preview) Hi all, today I received an email from my now ex boyfriend. I wanted to share an example of what makes me so confused. Essentially he feels I betrayed him and attacked his character unfairly. That I 'pretended' to go along with his 'habits' all along and suddenly did an about face after my heart attac...	CyndiODAT	14	650	Apr 19, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Courage to Change 18/4 (Preview) Today's c2c suggests listing all of the things we feel we need, but have been denied by others, such as respect, affection, communication, etc. It suggests we then consider that we CAN have these things if we are willing to give what we want to receive, and be what we want to attract. In reviewing this...	missmeliss	3	532	Apr 18, 2016 by yanksfan51
	Step 1 Question (Preview) I have no problem at all admitting that I'm powerless over alcohol. I can control my drinking because I'm not an alcoholic and I rarely drink - when I do, its usually not more than a wine cooler or two. I know that I can't control my boyfriend's drinking. If he decides to drink again, that's on him and th...	WhiskeyLullabye	3	1730	Apr 18, 2016 by yanksfan51
	fog slowly lifting (Preview) I have been attending weekly FTF meetings for abut a month now and I cannot express how much these , along with this board,have helped me. I was overwhelmed at the beginning from really reading too much literature and now stick to a topic or reading a day. I compare my thinking now to almost a fog being lif...	Jennyp	8	495	Apr 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Great Wedding, Great Trip - Glad to be Home (Preview) So - off to Florida I went and had a lovely time. The wedding was awesome, my nephew and his bride were adorable and all went well. I went on a few 'field trips' that were not in my wheel-house because it seemed like the right thing to do. I did not get enough sleep, as we know happens but it was awesome! My n...	Iamhere	8	643	Apr 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Online Alanon Meeting (Preview) I participated in an online alanon meeting earlier. In the beginning, they asked for new people to introduce themselves and give a short description of their qualifier and how he/she acts. Someone told me that I didn't really belong in alanon because I'm not being abused or mistreated and his drin...	WhiskeyLullabye	13	690	Apr 18, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Welcome Newnoz (Preview) Good to have you here. I got good stuff from your share so am grateful and open to more...((((hugs))))	Jerry F	4	668	Apr 17, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.