Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C addresses the denial many of us develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that even thog we may have been living for years with doubt, fear, chaos and all manner of unpleasant emotions and situations, we develop the habit of assuring everyone else, and ourselves th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- The focus of today's reading is humility. There is a sentence on the page that says it all for me: 'Attempting to work the program has given me some humility.' Well ain't that the truth! I think once I started working on my recovery, one of the concepts I worked on accepting had t...

KT2015 · KT2015

Before Al Anon I was someone who stuffed her feelings down. I would ignore, push through and stuff down any bad feeling I had. I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling. Instead I was running around interpreting and being affected by other people's moods and feelings. Don't get me wrong I could neve...

AJR1983 · AJR1983

Hi there. I Googled this site on the recommendation from my mom. I currently an in a relationship and his drinking is affecting everything. He is depressed and the drinking makes it worse. Or maybe his drinking makes him depressed. I don't know how to handle it. Is this the place for me? I am not religiou...

Luke 1234 · Luke 1234

im new to this and want to go to meetings but I'm to scared. My head is going mental at the moment yet the person in my life with this illness she has hasn't picked up for over two weeks. I really need some help

vorpal · vorpal

Hi everyone, I have gained a great deal of strength from this board, and turn to posting tonight as a step in my own recovery, which has been going on for over 33 years. The last two months have been unrelenting. Two of my sisters have medical conditions that have required a great deal of time and attenti...

Changejones · Changejones

I am a 22 year old lady from the united kingdom and am very new to the programme / alanon, i have only been to 2 meetings. My mum is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years but it has left me completely destroyed and riddled with depression and anxiety which is completely ruining my relationship with my partner...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been pondering this and thinking about what it was about my own journey that helped me commit to this program. I know that i reached a bottom, a place of utter hoplessness. I had finally run out of my own ideas and solutions, that were of course not solutions. I remember feeling like putting my hands u...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Life has been busy .. busy is good.. I have found you tube "hope and Healing 24/7" from alanon seminars... Oh my .. do I highly recommend them! I have the past year been doing so much personal growth .. my new "addiction" is audio books (being careful with this)... I came across these seminar recordings...

Fooled · Fooled

Today is my birthday. Its like the cold war here. AH is in a full relapse. There is no more slips, there is nothing but active drinking. Every day. He drives home that way from work-an hour. Last night he said he would be home at 730 so that I could go to my face to face, my children called me from thei...

hopeful987 · hopeful987

Is there anyone on here that is working through adjusting to life with a man who is working towards sobriety and is doing well (He started rehab April 2015 and relapsed twice, last relapse August 2015) AND at the same time also trying to not only forgive the alcohol but is having a harder time forgiving...

Truth · Truth

Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...

hotrod · Newbie

CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...

debvin22 · debvin22

Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...

gribouille2701 · gribouille2701

Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

My bf hasn't had a drink in over 3 weeks. He's doing really well. He said he was done and so far, he's kept his word. How long should he be sober before I can start trusting him again? Still trying to figure out the job situation. On the bright side, I'm only $52 short on rent. Not sure where I'm gonna get...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 24 speaks about the slogan,"Easy Does it". It points out that many times we try to force solutions and end up being frustrated and disheartened in the process. If we use the slogan" Easy does it" ,it is interesting to observe the results. Life is more serene because I'm not p...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The last pearl to the necklace arrived at 7:00 something last evening and his name is Levi. He takes the character form of the other side of the family and not so much mine. That is how it has often come about for us as our family is multi-racial as so many pacific islanders are. He weighed in at 7 pound...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 23 speaks about being "shut down" and not feeling. The reading points out that as the result of living with this disease many of us have reached the point where we could experience life without being moved by it . This is a destructive tool that we developed as a result of livin...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I have to admit this has been a worry to me for a month now. He has been bringing up this topic, yes for a month now and the day is coming near, tomorrow! He has been bringing up the topic that he will be going out for a drink with his friends to celebrate his birthday. He is being nice like a kid waiting for hi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Why is it that it seems that lots of people like to create controversy & lies then gossip about it? I am so sick of the media assuming things. IF I was in the position that some people are, I would be outraged. I am not a gossip generally speaking but I care about most people I talk about. I guess I can slip...

Fedora · Fedora

Hi everyone. I attended a counseling session today and my "homework" was to confront my AH about the booze under our bed. "Normal people do not keep bottles of booze under your bed", she said. "If he's going to drink, tell him that you know that, and he should do it in front of you. If it's all in secret, it...

Doves · Doves

This could apply to any of you as you deal with your alcoholic or even dry drunk, but what I'm about to tell you is about my teenage son (almost alcoholic, definitely a dry drunk in personality the last two years and weed smoker). Last night he didn't have to work at his part time job and of course went out w...

Bianca75 · Bianca75

I have only suspected my son is an alcoholic for maybe a month. He received the diagnosis on Tuesday. He's currently sober because we forced it on him..He says he doesn't want to be an alcoholic, but he acts like one every. I think you call that dry drunk. I can't express to you the depth of my pain right now...

Jen61 · Jen61

I joined MIP a little over 3 years ago. I have also been in face to face meetings with Al-Anon, AA and ACOA. None of this makes me a hero, but it does help me to understand why people become addicted, how it affects the whole family and how to survive.A year ago this July 14th I lost one of my best friends to C...

Gardening · Gardening

Hello all, So AH was doing good and now he has relapsed. I knew it was coming. He had a few drinks with friends multiple nights in a row. A glass of wine with dinner. And then a blow up. He is currently pouting because he got mad at me and said i dont believe him that he wasnt drunk. He now admits he was drunk bu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yeah I actually still ask that question? I am not going to do a poor me. I just want to throw out my garbage! Pity is not in my vocabulary. OK so I can be a whiner. So today I noticed nothing new but my Ah is pissy. He didn't know where I was after church & couldn't wait to pick me up so he again commented that h...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My AH is on his second day of sickness after about a two week bender. It was a bad one this time with an average of a fifth of vodka or whiskey a day. I knew he would crash and burn at some point and it started Saturday morning. All day he was throwing up and had the shakes. He slept most of the day. Today he i...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I really don't want to post this. Because I feel like it is too complex to describe. But I'll try to be simple. I'm curious if others have had a similar experience/feeling about sex with their A, with the A using it as a drug. Or maybe that's something that people in general do, and some of them happen to be A...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...

andromeda · andromeda

Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...

lookingup · lookingup

it just don't seem right that I should put up with a addict sisters behavior it don't never stop comes and goes ,and it's all so crazy ,listens in on my conversations and even gets so ugly at me on ph that I hang up,she gets so messed up on her drugs that she turns on me,I got our brother down for a few days he has...

FHP · FHP

Last week, my husband's sponsor told him we shouldn't talk at all except via text, and even then only about logistics, because the way it has been, every few days he suddenly gets angry at me out of the blue and that triggers my chronic illness and I get sicker. His sponsor said we need space so we can both h...

Tiger Lady · Tiger Lady

Hi all, this is my first attempt at anything Al-anon. My work schedule is crazy and when I am off work I have kids to watch or AH goes to a meeting, so that leaves me with no opportunity for home town meetings. I keep wanting to join in the weeknight meetings on this site but haven't made it home in time yet. I'...

JuliAn1413 · JuliAn1413

I feel scared. I finally "get" how serious an enabler I have been with my Adult Child and I don't know how to transition in the midst of everything. I feel very strongly that if I had set boundaries earlier that things would have been better and my son would be in a healthier place. No matter what anyone...

a4l · a4l

Well, a huge weight has been lifted today. Today i received some official mail and found myself immediately doing what I imagine a normal person would do. I picked up my phone and called to sort things out. Its a child support matter. I had to call my country of origin, and honestly even hearing the kiwi a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family and happy Thursday to one and all.... Today's Courage to Change reading discusses the unity we can discover through diversity in Al-Anon. We learn from Tradition 4 that each group is autonomous - free to conduct meetings in a way that works for it's members as long as it abides...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, In doing some Step 4 inventory work, I have been working on getting more clear on my value system. My exBF and I had differing interests - I am an 'athlete', a runner, I workout, I'm a personal trainer. He likes sports, he plays golf, he likes to do things around his house. I believe our relation...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

My AH has been sober for a few months after a brief relapse in November. I know there are times when I would like to know if he has been drinking due to his behavior, however I also know that this same thing occurs on days when there was no way he could have had a drink. EVERY NIGHT, typically at about dinn...

Lupo · Lupo

So it's been a long time since I have been on this site. My alcoholic/addict wife has had many relapses over the yers, some. About a year ago I got my own place due to her heavy drinking and using at home, after about 6 months of living separately and her with some clean time she gradually started to move bac...

Doves · Doves

The other night my son started ranting at me because I refuse to help him get out of the huge mess he knowingly and consciously chose to put himself in knowing the what the full consequences would be should he be caught which he was. He tried all the guilt trips, asked me why I ever became a mother ( yeah beca...

Jerry F · Jerry F

...not so much for me and for a program sister who is going to be going thru yet another open heart surgery which comes with a lack of confidence from her surgeons. Her name is Robin and she has triple decades of sobriety. She is a mutually supportive sister and a double winner and is going over to Maui...

Bianca75 · Bianca75

It seems like most of you are dealing with an alcoholic partner, spouse, or parent. Is there anyone else who is parent to an alcoholic teen? You can't just leave a child even if they are tearing you up inside. I feel intolerably trapped. Some days the grief is unbearable.

Sara in CO · Sara in CO

Well. This is my first post ever to any Alanon board or site. And all I can say is I'm terrified to go to my first meeting. I try to tell myself in not codependent, but I know in my heart I'm terrified of letting go. My biggest fear is just letting my A husband do what he wants. And him taking full advantage. ...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C talks abot learning that it's safe to be ourselves in al-anon. The writer shares that they feel they can share embarrassing secrets they once kept carefully hidden with their al-anon friends, where once they would keep quiet at all costs. They also share that once they refused to smile be...

Aerin · Aerin

So for the past 6 months A really seemed to be making real progress trying to make changes, and was doing pretty good. But his His rational is that he def doesnt need AA, but that he is going to quit on own by drinking less and the days in between drinking binges will get longer until he stops. (he promises he...

missmeliss · missmeliss

As I've mentioned, daughter's father, Faceache, has organised to take daughter on a family vacation that causes her to miss school every year since she was 5. Anyway it's made me angry for a long time; we have school holidays 4 times a year here and it's extremely simple to organise vacations during th...

BeYoutiful · BeYoutiful

I've been with my alcoholic boyfriend (AB?) for about 7 months now. The first 3 months I was clueless. I knew something was up because he had mentioned that he USED TO be an alcoholic, but it wasn't until me and his mom took him to the emergency room in December and found out that his BAL was 8 times over th...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

My company decided to run a thorough background check on all employees. Mine turned up something that shouldn't be there. I haven't been fired - but I can't go to work until it gets straightened out. Who knows how long that will take? I can't afford to miss much work - just missing today is going to ma...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my MIP family. I wanted to share some things that have happened in my life recently. First, during this month, I lost it badly over an employment decision my RAH was thinking of. I simply could not deal with the proposed change he was considering. No matter how hard I tried to respect him and le...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Good Monday morning all, I've been doing some Step 4 work around my tendency to people please, to the degree that I sometimes give up my own value system or self discipline in order to 'go along with' others. Rather than speak up and say what I mean and mean what I say, even if it is 'unpopular', I am the ni...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 25/4 (Preview) Today's C2C addresses the denial many of us develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that even thog we may have been living for years with doubt, fear, chaos and all manner of unpleasant emotions and situations, we develop the habit of assuring everyone else, and ourselves th...	missmeliss	4	580	Apr 26, 2016 by Jennyp
	Hope for Today Apr 26 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- The focus of today's reading is humility. There is a sentence on the page that says it all for me: 'Attempting to work the program has given me some humility.' Well ain't that the truth! I think once I started working on my recovery, one of the concepts I worked on accepting had t...	yanksfan51	6	590	Apr 26, 2016 by sweetness34
	Feeling my feelings is hard (Preview) Before Al Anon I was someone who stuffed her feelings down. I would ignore, push through and stuff down any bad feeling I had. I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling. Instead I was running around interpreting and being affected by other people's moods and feelings. Don't get me wrong I could neve...	KT2015	6	3298	Apr 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Very new and lost (Preview) Hi there. I Googled this site on the recommendation from my mom. I currently an in a relationship and his drinking is affecting everything. He is depressed and the drinking makes it worse. Or maybe his drinking makes him depressed. I don't know how to handle it. Is this the place for me? I am not religiou...	AJR1983	8	616	Apr 26, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Going out of my mind (Preview) im new to this and want to go to meetings but I'm to scared. My head is going mental at the moment yet the person in my life with this illness she has hasn't picked up for over two weeks. I really need some help	Luke 1234	11	823	Apr 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Acceptance in the middle of crisis (Preview) Hi everyone, I have gained a great deal of strength from this board, and turn to posting tonight as a step in my own recovery, which has been going on for over 33 years. The last two months have been unrelenting. Two of my sisters have medical conditions that have required a great deal of time and attenti...	vorpal	11	714	Apr 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Very new to this - 2 alanon meetings along and struggling within myself, need some support (Preview) I am a 22 year old lady from the united kingdom and am very new to the programme / alanon, i have only been to 2 meetings. My mum is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years but it has left me completely destroyed and riddled with depression and anxiety which is completely ruining my relationship with my partner...	Changejones	8	687	Apr 26, 2016 by Changejones
	Is surrender vital? (Preview) Ive been pondering this and thinking about what it was about my own journey that helped me commit to this program. I know that i reached a bottom, a place of utter hoplessness. I had finally run out of my own ideas and solutions, that were of course not solutions. I remember feeling like putting my hands u...	el-cee	5	705	Apr 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	I have missed my friends here.. (Preview) Life has been busy .. busy is good.. I have found you tube "hope and Healing 24/7" from alanon seminars... Oh my .. do I highly recommend them! I have the past year been doing so much personal growth .. my new "addiction" is audio books (being careful with this)... I came across these seminar recordings...	sweeetr	2	2520	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Kindness to myself (Preview) Today is my birthday. Its like the cold war here. AH is in a full relapse. There is no more slips, there is nothing but active drinking. Every day. He drives home that way from work-an hour. Last night he said he would be home at 730 so that I could go to my face to face, my children called me from thei...	Fooled	12	932	Apr 25, 2016 by lookingup
	Alcoholism and an Affair (Preview) Is there anyone on here that is working through adjusting to life with a man who is working towards sobriety and is doing well (He started rehab April 2015 and relapsed twice, last relapse August 2015) AND at the same time also trying to not only forgive the alcohol but is having a harder time forgiving...	hopeful987	8	1122	Apr 25, 2016 by Luke 1234
	Baby Steps (Preview) Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...	Truth	11	656	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	My father passed away (Preview) My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...	Mirandac	31	774	Apr 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	Moved this post by CheezyNana a new member from Sticky (Preview) CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...	hotrod	4	668	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question for Hawaii Double Winners or Maui Residents only please (Preview) First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...	Doingmybest	3	2520	Apr 25, 2016 by Doingmybest
	NEED YOUR THOUGHTS (Preview) I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...	YARNCRAZY	5	570	Apr 25, 2016 by hotrod
	New here and just left alcoholic spouse of 18 years (Preview) Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...	debvin22	7	684	Apr 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Explaining alcoholism, detachment and forgiveness to a disabled Adult Child??? (Preview) It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...	Rosemeyer	3	528	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	my mum is in danger and I don't know what to do and how to do it (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...	gribouille2701	6	601	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Wondering When? (Preview) My bf hasn't had a drink in over 3 weeks. He's doing really well. He said he was done and so far, he's kept his word. How long should he be sober before I can start trusting him again? Still trying to figure out the job situation. On the bright side, I'm only $52 short on rent. Not sure where I'm gonna get...	WhiskeyLullabye	11	679	Apr 24, 2016 by el-cee
	C2C 4-24-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 24 speaks about the slogan,"Easy Does it". It points out that many times we try to force solutions and end up being frustrated and disheartened in the process. If we use the slogan" Easy does it" ,it is interesting to observe the results. Life is more serene because I'm not p...	hotrod	2	450	Apr 24, 2016 by missmeliss
	Levi is in the house.... (Preview) The last pearl to the necklace arrived at 7:00 something last evening and his name is Levi. He takes the character form of the other side of the family and not so much mine. That is how it has often come about for us as our family is multi-racial as so many pacific islanders are. He weighed in at 7 pound...	Jerry F	13	722	Apr 24, 2016 by Doingmybest
	C2C 4-23-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 23 speaks about being "shut down" and not feeling. The reading points out that as the result of living with this disease many of us have reached the point where we could experience life without being moved by it . This is a destructive tool that we developed as a result of livin...	hotrod	6	824	Apr 24, 2016 by Truth
	it's my AH's birthday... HELP1 (Preview) I have to admit this has been a worry to me for a month now. He has been bringing up this topic, yes for a month now and the day is coming near, tomorrow! He has been bringing up the topic that he will be going out for a drink with his friends to celebrate his birthday. He is being nice like a kid waiting for hi...	jocelgp	9	702	Apr 23, 2016 by jocelgp
	contervesy, lies & gossip. (Preview) Why is it that it seems that lots of people like to create controversy & lies then gossip about it? I am so sick of the media assuming things. IF I was in the position that some people are, I would be outraged. I am not a gossip generally speaking but I care about most people I talk about. I guess I can slip...	Hoot Nanny	2	570	Apr 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Enabler question, unrelated HP musing, and a question about books (Preview) Hi everyone. I attended a counseling session today and my "homework" was to confront my AH about the booze under our bed. "Normal people do not keep bottles of booze under your bed", she said. "If he's going to drink, tell him that you know that, and he should do it in front of you. If it's all in secret, it...	Fedora	4	700	Apr 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	My dog taught me a lesson in detachment (Preview) This could apply to any of you as you deal with your alcoholic or even dry drunk, but what I'm about to tell you is about my teenage son (almost alcoholic, definitely a dry drunk in personality the last two years and weed smoker). Last night he didn't have to work at his part time job and of course went out w...	Doves	2	926	Apr 23, 2016 by Hope4Healing
	Brand new to this (Preview) I have only suspected my son is an alcoholic for maybe a month. He received the diagnosis on Tuesday. He's currently sober because we forced it on him..He says he doesn't want to be an alcoholic, but he acts like one every. I think you call that dry drunk. I can't express to you the depth of my pain right now...	Bianca75	11	711	Apr 22, 2016 by Doves
	Just today... (Preview) I joined MIP a little over 3 years ago. I have also been in face to face meetings with Al-Anon, AA and ACOA. None of this makes me a hero, but it does help me to understand why people become addicted, how it affects the whole family and how to survive.A year ago this July 14th I lost one of my best friends to C...	Jen61	3	491	Apr 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reorganizing (Preview) Hello all, So AH was doing good and now he has relapsed. I knew it was coming. He had a few drinks with friends multiple nights in a row. A glass of wine with dinner. And then a blow up. He is currently pouting because he got mad at me and said i dont believe him that he wasnt drunk. He now admits he was drunk bu...	Gardening	7	567	Apr 22, 2016 by Bella0104
	why me? (Preview) Yeah I actually still ask that question? I am not going to do a poor me. I just want to throw out my garbage! Pity is not in my vocabulary. OK so I can be a whiner. So today I noticed nothing new but my Ah is pissy. He didn't know where I was after church & couldn't wait to pick me up so he again commented that h...	Hoot Nanny	5	629	Apr 22, 2016 by Bella0104
	Not sure what I am feeling...but it doesn't feel good (Preview) My AH is on his second day of sickness after about a two week bender. It was a bad one this time with an average of a fifth of vodka or whiskey a day. I knew he would crash and burn at some point and it started Saturday morning. All day he was throwing up and had the shakes. He slept most of the day. Today he i...	Bethany66	16	799	Apr 22, 2016 by lookingup
	sex as a drug? (Preview) I really don't want to post this. Because I feel like it is too complex to describe. But I'll try to be simple. I'm curious if others have had a similar experience/feeling about sex with their A, with the A using it as a drug. Or maybe that's something that people in general do, and some of them happen to be A...	oceanpine	8	656	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Question (Preview) Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...	pinkchip	24	1014	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Would this be a red flag to you? (Preview) Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...	andromeda	12	810	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	this is what it sounds like... (Preview) When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...	Hoot Nanny	7	603	Apr 22, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/22/2016 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...	Iamhere	2	629	Apr 22, 2016 by missmeliss
	16 Days dry, and all is pretty okay. (Preview) Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...	sweetness34	4	712	Apr 22, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Annoyed (Preview) I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...	YARNCRAZY	3	572	Apr 21, 2016 by hotrod
	Letting go and letting God? (Preview) So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...	pjwa12726	4	656	Apr 21, 2016 by pjwa12726
	Venting (Preview) it just don't seem right that I should put up with a addict sisters behavior it don't never stop comes and goes ,and it's all so crazy ,listens in on my conversations and even gets so ugly at me on ph that I hang up,she gets so messed up on her drugs that she turns on me,I got our brother down for a few days he has...	lookingup	3	458	Apr 21, 2016 by lookingup
	I don't understand what's happening (Preview) Last week, my husband's sponsor told him we shouldn't talk at all except via text, and even then only about logistics, because the way it has been, every few days he suddenly gets angry at me out of the blue and that triggers my chronic illness and I get sicker. His sponsor said we need space so we can both h...	FHP	13	843	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Lost newbie (Preview) Hi all, this is my first attempt at anything Al-anon. My work schedule is crazy and when I am off work I have kids to watch or AH goes to a meeting, so that leaves me with no opportunity for home town meetings. I keep wanting to join in the weeknight meetings on this site but haven't made it home in time yet. I'...	Tiger Lady	3	581	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	I need help (Preview) I feel scared. I finally "get" how serious an enabler I have been with my Adult Child and I don't know how to transition in the midst of everything. I feel very strongly that if I had set boundaries earlier that things would have been better and my son would be in a healthier place. No matter what anyone...	JuliAn1413	8	630	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	a bit of progress (Preview) Well, a huge weight has been lifted today. Today i received some official mail and found myself immediately doing what I imagine a normal person would do. I picked up my phone and called to sort things out. Its a child support matter. I had to call my country of origin, and honestly even hearing the kiwi a...	a4l	4	548	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/21/2016 (Preview) Good morning MIP family and happy Thursday to one and all.... Today's Courage to Change reading discusses the unity we can discover through diversity in Al-Anon. We learn from Tradition 4 that each group is autonomous - free to conduct meetings in a way that works for it's members as long as it abides...	Iamhere	4	473	Apr 21, 2016 by Bella0104
	Shared Values in Relationships (Preview) Hi all, In doing some Step 4 inventory work, I have been working on getting more clear on my value system. My exBF and I had differing interests - I am an 'athlete', a runner, I workout, I'm a personal trainer. He likes sports, he plays golf, he likes to do things around his house. I believe our relation...	CyndiODAT	4	821	Apr 21, 2016 by Bethany66
	Nightly Fights - Sober (Preview) My AH has been sober for a few months after a brief relapse in November. I know there are times when I would like to know if he has been drinking due to his behavior, however I also know that this same thing occurs on days when there was no way he could have had a drink. EVERY NIGHT, typically at about dinn...	EarlyBird	3	620	Apr 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	What to do now. (Preview) So it's been a long time since I have been on this site. My alcoholic/addict wife has had many relapses over the yers, some. About a year ago I got my own place due to her heavy drinking and using at home, after about 6 months of living separately and her with some clean time she gradually started to move bac...	Lupo	5	489	Apr 21, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Feeling like others are threatened by my recovery (Preview) The other night my son started ranting at me because I refuse to help him get out of the huge mess he knowingly and consciously chose to put himself in knowing the what the full consequences would be should he be caught which he was. He tried all the guilt trips, asked me why I ever became a mother ( yeah beca...	Doves	3	548	Apr 21, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	I'm asking for support (Preview) ...not so much for me and for a program sister who is going to be going thru yet another open heart surgery which comes with a lack of confidence from her surgeons. Her name is Robin and she has triple decades of sobriety. She is a mutually supportive sister and a double winner and is going over to Maui...	Jerry F	21	1060	Apr 21, 2016 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic son (Preview) It seems like most of you are dealing with an alcoholic partner, spouse, or parent. Is there anyone else who is parent to an alcoholic teen? You can't just leave a child even if they are tearing you up inside. I feel intolerably trapped. Some days the grief is unbearable.	Bianca75	11	648	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	New. Lost. Scared. (Preview) Well. This is my first post ever to any Alanon board or site. And all I can say is I'm terrified to go to my first meeting. I try to tell myself in not codependent, but I know in my heart I'm terrified of letting go. My biggest fear is just letting my A husband do what he wants. And him taking full advantage. ...	Sara in CO	8	634	Apr 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 20/4 (Preview) Today's C2C talks abot learning that it's safe to be ourselves in al-anon. The writer shares that they feel they can share embarrassing secrets they once kept carefully hidden with their al-anon friends, where once they would keep quiet at all costs. They also share that once they refused to smile be...	missmeliss	3	509	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	He seems to be going backwards! (Preview) So for the past 6 months A really seemed to be making real progress trying to make changes, and was doing pretty good. But his His rational is that he def doesnt need AA, but that he is going to quit on own by drinking less and the days in between drinking binges will get longer until he stops. (he promises he...	Aerin	9	684	Apr 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Here we go again. (Preview) As I've mentioned, daughter's father, Faceache, has organised to take daughter on a family vacation that causes her to miss school every year since she was 5. Anyway it's made me angry for a long time; we have school holidays 4 times a year here and it's extremely simple to organise vacations during th...	missmeliss	8	885	Apr 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Don't Know What to do (Preview) I've been with my alcoholic boyfriend (AB?) for about 7 months now. The first 3 months I was clueless. I knew something was up because he had mentioned that he USED TO be an alcoholic, but it wasn't until me and his mom took him to the emergency room in December and found out that his BAL was 8 times over th...	BeYoutiful	4	577	Apr 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Can't Catch A Break (Preview) My company decided to run a thorough background check on all employees. Mine turned up something that shouldn't be there. I haven't been fired - but I can't go to work until it gets straightened out. Who knows how long that will take? I can't afford to miss much work - just missing today is going to ma...	WhiskeyLullabye	5	753	Apr 19, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Very emotional weekend after strange and emotional month. (Preview) Hello my MIP family. I wanted to share some things that have happened in my life recently. First, during this month, I lost it badly over an employment decision my RAH was thinking of. I simply could not deal with the proposed change he was considering. No matter how hard I tried to respect him and le...	Doingmybest	5	512	Apr 19, 2016 by hotrod
	People pleasing, saying 'NO' (Preview) Good Monday morning all, I've been doing some Step 4 work around my tendency to people please, to the degree that I sometimes give up my own value system or self discipline in order to 'go along with' others. Rather than speak up and say what I mean and mean what I say, even if it is 'unpopular', I am the ni...	CyndiODAT	9	1227	Apr 19, 2016 by missmeliss
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.