Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Melmel69 · Melmel69

A few days ago my ex who I was with for 27 years died from complications of his acholisizm. I was hit so hard by his passing. I feel alone in my grief and overwhelmed. Has anyone else had this experience?????

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses seeing ourselves as we truly are today, in time, vs. how we perhaps felt as we grew up. Many of us grew up with guilt and blame, amidst harsh criticism and constant fear. The writer discusses that even now, after years of recovery, past mistakes can come forward and reactio...

Asdfghjkl · Asdfghjkl

We're both in our early 30's, she's 18 months sober, we have successful careers and have been married for 1 year. It just so happens I work in a brewery and the resentment my wife shows towards me is getting to be detrimental to our marriage. Whenever I consume alcohol she gets angry with me. This leads to...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I'm not sure whether I am expecting too much out of my sponsor or not but it seems every time I call her and I'm going through something that I need help with her response is "I'm sorry you are going through this, but this too shall pass, you just have to walk through it". I have told her that I want...

yippee1999 · yippee1999

Hi all. Attended my first meeting today. My sense is that attendees can talk out loud if they want, but that no one is supposed to give any feedback to others during a meeting...is that correct? I on the other hand feel that give and take...feedback...can be very helpful to others. For e.g., in toda...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And definitely handled much better because of the rock Al-Anon and my HP are in my life. Basics: Hospitalized for 8 days (barely remember 4 of them) with Gallstone Pancreatitis, poked by everyone, arms black and blue, home with incredible physical weakness I'd not experienced before, sent home to l...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to get this out of my mind. I had a nightmare this morning. It was about a close friend her husband. It was so real it makes me sick. The dream was about them breaking up due to cheating. I wasn't really there for her except hugs. Now this was a dream for sure but this could happen. I guess this is probabl...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in the Courage to Change focuses on learning through our experiences. I am going to start with today's reminder - "Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something for me to...

Stormyyoda · Stormyyoda

My husband is a drunk. He won't admit he has a problem but it is getting out of control. He seems to think he can handle it but once he starts there is no stopping him. I can't deal with it anymore. He rather drink then face life. Always threatening to leave me. How I make his lif bad. I have tried walking away a...

jocelgp · jocelgp

So there's a change in my husband's drinking habit. He doesn't go home in the wee hours, like a cinderella he's home by 12 mn and because the time is short, he was not able to drink as much. I thought I should be happy, i thought it was my husband's self determination... i learned that the reason for this is...

xirei · xirei

Hello, I'm new to Al-anon and I'm not sure if I'm 'doing it right'. I went to my first meeting a couple of weeks ago. Ironically, I grew up around AA meetings with my dad and step mom, and yet for some reason until a friend invited me to go with her Al-Anon had never even occured to me. Durp. Anyway - It seems l...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I figure I can get on here w nothing to do or say except I love you all. I have been having challenges but it is all good. Thanks for your support.

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So I stopped going to my meetings a few months ago and stopped coming here. I was struggling very much with pulling away from my ABF and I felt like Al Anon was playing a part in that. So I detached from my program. Then I just felt gilt from that. I felt like I had betrayed myself and my Al Anon family from not...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since moving out onto my own for the first time ever, I have the confidence to be worthy, whole and own my time and space. I am amazed at how my life has changed when I dragged my sad miserable carcass into my first meeting a few years ago. My sponsor loved me until I really learned how to love myself. I have se...

Mommyof3 · Mommyof3

I have been married for 12 years. We have three children and I am concerned with what my children are seeing. My in-laws drink every evening after they get off of work. Overtime we have asked them to please not drink whenever they have the kids over. It always concerns me, what they are seeing. Are the gr...

Inga · Inga

Hello! I am finding here many that talk about their stupid boyfriends, etc. and I want to talk to you women having long term marriages like I have. Tell me: all about yourselves. I would very much like to know. Share with me please. I need to discuss my issues, but I am quite leary to share with someone...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading in C2C is one of my favourites. Its beautiful. It has such simple wisdom in it. It says 'I block my own well being each time I base my self worth on what I do or what others think of me' So true. I have identified one of my shortcomings as people pleasing and looking for validation of my worth fr...

Fooled · Fooled

I rounded out my birthday weekend with something that I love to do....yard work. Sunday was a day of weeding and moving plants, mowing the lawn. I went to a plant auction on Saturday and I got two things I have always wanted....a Crepe Myrtle tree and a weeping cherry tree. So Sunday was also a day of di...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks about loving and accepting ourselves. It suggests that even if we could make all of the people around us happy and "straighten them out" it would probably not increase our self esteem, in fact it probably makes it worse as we lose ourselves in the process of "sorting out" others. Th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am in Kansas so if any of you watch weather, you know that the middle of the country is under severe weather watches, warnings, complete with strong wind, heavy downpours, flash flooding and tornadoes!! So - it's Tuesday and Tuesday is softball night - 4 games each week. Well - nobody thought we woul...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C addresses the denial many of us develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that even thog we may have been living for years with doubt, fear, chaos and all manner of unpleasant emotions and situations, we develop the habit of assuring everyone else, and ourselves th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- The focus of today's reading is humility. There is a sentence on the page that says it all for me: 'Attempting to work the program has given me some humility.' Well ain't that the truth! I think once I started working on my recovery, one of the concepts I worked on accepting had t...

KT2015 · KT2015

Before Al Anon I was someone who stuffed her feelings down. I would ignore, push through and stuff down any bad feeling I had. I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling. Instead I was running around interpreting and being affected by other people's moods and feelings. Don't get me wrong I could neve...

AJR1983 · AJR1983

Hi there. I Googled this site on the recommendation from my mom. I currently an in a relationship and his drinking is affecting everything. He is depressed and the drinking makes it worse. Or maybe his drinking makes him depressed. I don't know how to handle it. Is this the place for me? I am not religiou...

Luke 1234 · Luke 1234

im new to this and want to go to meetings but I'm to scared. My head is going mental at the moment yet the person in my life with this illness she has hasn't picked up for over two weeks. I really need some help

vorpal · vorpal

Hi everyone, I have gained a great deal of strength from this board, and turn to posting tonight as a step in my own recovery, which has been going on for over 33 years. The last two months have been unrelenting. Two of my sisters have medical conditions that have required a great deal of time and attenti...

Changejones · Changejones

I am a 22 year old lady from the united kingdom and am very new to the programme / alanon, i have only been to 2 meetings. My mum is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years but it has left me completely destroyed and riddled with depression and anxiety which is completely ruining my relationship with my partner...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been pondering this and thinking about what it was about my own journey that helped me commit to this program. I know that i reached a bottom, a place of utter hoplessness. I had finally run out of my own ideas and solutions, that were of course not solutions. I remember feeling like putting my hands u...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Life has been busy .. busy is good.. I have found you tube "hope and Healing 24/7" from alanon seminars... Oh my .. do I highly recommend them! I have the past year been doing so much personal growth .. my new "addiction" is audio books (being careful with this)... I came across these seminar recordings...

Fooled · Fooled

Today is my birthday. Its like the cold war here. AH is in a full relapse. There is no more slips, there is nothing but active drinking. Every day. He drives home that way from work-an hour. Last night he said he would be home at 730 so that I could go to my face to face, my children called me from thei...

hopeful987 · hopeful987

Is there anyone on here that is working through adjusting to life with a man who is working towards sobriety and is doing well (He started rehab April 2015 and relapsed twice, last relapse August 2015) AND at the same time also trying to not only forgive the alcohol but is having a harder time forgiving...

Truth · Truth

Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...

hotrod · Newbie

CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...

debvin22 · debvin22

Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...

gribouille2701 · gribouille2701

Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

My bf hasn't had a drink in over 3 weeks. He's doing really well. He said he was done and so far, he's kept his word. How long should he be sober before I can start trusting him again? Still trying to figure out the job situation. On the bright side, I'm only $52 short on rent. Not sure where I'm gonna get...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 24 speaks about the slogan,"Easy Does it". It points out that many times we try to force solutions and end up being frustrated and disheartened in the process. If we use the slogan" Easy does it" ,it is interesting to observe the results. Life is more serene because I'm not p...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The last pearl to the necklace arrived at 7:00 something last evening and his name is Levi. He takes the character form of the other side of the family and not so much mine. That is how it has often come about for us as our family is multi-racial as so many pacific islanders are. He weighed in at 7 pound...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 23 speaks about being "shut down" and not feeling. The reading points out that as the result of living with this disease many of us have reached the point where we could experience life without being moved by it . This is a destructive tool that we developed as a result of livin...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I have to admit this has been a worry to me for a month now. He has been bringing up this topic, yes for a month now and the day is coming near, tomorrow! He has been bringing up the topic that he will be going out for a drink with his friends to celebrate his birthday. He is being nice like a kid waiting for hi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Why is it that it seems that lots of people like to create controversy & lies then gossip about it? I am so sick of the media assuming things. IF I was in the position that some people are, I would be outraged. I am not a gossip generally speaking but I care about most people I talk about. I guess I can slip...

Fedora · Fedora

Hi everyone. I attended a counseling session today and my "homework" was to confront my AH about the booze under our bed. "Normal people do not keep bottles of booze under your bed", she said. "If he's going to drink, tell him that you know that, and he should do it in front of you. If it's all in secret, it...

Doves · Doves

This could apply to any of you as you deal with your alcoholic or even dry drunk, but what I'm about to tell you is about my teenage son (almost alcoholic, definitely a dry drunk in personality the last two years and weed smoker). Last night he didn't have to work at his part time job and of course went out w...

Bianca75 · Bianca75

I have only suspected my son is an alcoholic for maybe a month. He received the diagnosis on Tuesday. He's currently sober because we forced it on him..He says he doesn't want to be an alcoholic, but he acts like one every. I think you call that dry drunk. I can't express to you the depth of my pain right now...

Jen61 · Jen61

I joined MIP a little over 3 years ago. I have also been in face to face meetings with Al-Anon, AA and ACOA. None of this makes me a hero, but it does help me to understand why people become addicted, how it affects the whole family and how to survive.A year ago this July 14th I lost one of my best friends to C...

Gardening · Gardening

Hello all, So AH was doing good and now he has relapsed. I knew it was coming. He had a few drinks with friends multiple nights in a row. A glass of wine with dinner. And then a blow up. He is currently pouting because he got mad at me and said i dont believe him that he wasnt drunk. He now admits he was drunk bu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yeah I actually still ask that question? I am not going to do a poor me. I just want to throw out my garbage! Pity is not in my vocabulary. OK so I can be a whiner. So today I noticed nothing new but my Ah is pissy. He didn't know where I was after church & couldn't wait to pick me up so he again commented that h...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My AH is on his second day of sickness after about a two week bender. It was a bad one this time with an average of a fifth of vodka or whiskey a day. I knew he would crash and burn at some point and it started Saturday morning. All day he was throwing up and had the shakes. He slept most of the day. Today he i...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I really don't want to post this. Because I feel like it is too complex to describe. But I'll try to be simple. I'm curious if others have had a similar experience/feeling about sex with their A, with the A using it as a drug. Or maybe that's something that people in general do, and some of them happen to be A...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...

andromeda · andromeda

Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...

	Sub Forum	Topics	Posts	Last Post
	Al-anon speakers - Read Only Al-anon speakers	2	2	October 26th by WebHelper
	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Grief (Preview) A few days ago my ex who I was with for 27 years died from complications of his acholisizm. I was hit so hard by his passing. I feel alone in my grief and overwhelmed. Has anyone else had this experience?????	Melmel69	8	1505	Apr 29, 2016 by Bethany66
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/29/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses seeing ourselves as we truly are today, in time, vs. how we perhaps felt as we grew up. Many of us grew up with guilt and blame, amidst harsh criticism and constant fear. The writer discusses that even now, after years of recovery, past mistakes can come forward and reactio...	Iamhere	1	711	Apr 29, 2016 by hotrod
	My wife is in recovery and I work at a brewery (Preview) We're both in our early 30's, she's 18 months sober, we have successful careers and have been married for 1 year. It just so happens I work in a brewery and the resentment my wife shows towards me is getting to be detrimental to our marriage. Whenever I consume alcohol she gets angry with me. This leads to...	Asdfghjkl	7	792	Apr 29, 2016 by Fooled
	Sponsor question (Preview) I'm not sure whether I am expecting too much out of my sponsor or not but it seems every time I call her and I'm going through something that I need help with her response is "I'm sorry you are going through this, but this too shall pass, you just have to walk through it". I have told her that I want...	Mobirdie	8	831	Apr 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Attended my first ever meeting today...anyone here to answer some questions? (Preview) Hi all. Attended my first meeting today. My sense is that attendees can talk out loud if they want, but that no one is supposed to give any feedback to others during a meeting...is that correct? I on the other hand feel that give and take...feedback...can be very helpful to others. For e.g., in toda...	yippee1999	8	676	Apr 28, 2016 by Jerry F
	Illness and surgery (Preview) And definitely handled much better because of the rock Al-Anon and my HP are in my life. Basics: Hospitalized for 8 days (barely remember 4 of them) with Gallstone Pancreatitis, poked by everyone, arms black and blue, home with incredible physical weakness I'd not experienced before, sent home to l...	likemyheart	7	666	Apr 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	dreams & infidelity (Preview) I have to get this out of my mind. I had a nightmare this morning. It was about a close friend her husband. It was so real it makes me sick. The dream was about them breaking up due to cheating. I wasn't really there for her except hugs. Now this was a dream for sure but this could happen. I guess this is probabl...	Hoot Nanny	3	2128	Apr 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/28/16 (Preview) Today's reading in the Courage to Change focuses on learning through our experiences. I am going to start with today's reminder - "Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something for me to...	Iamhere	4	798	Apr 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just can't take anymore (Preview) My husband is a drunk. He won't admit he has a problem but it is getting out of control. He seems to think he can handle it but once he starts there is no stopping him. I can't deal with it anymore. He rather drink then face life. Always threatening to leave me. How I make his lif bad. I have tried walking away a...	Stormyyoda	17	1120	Apr 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	changes in my husband's drinking pattern.. i should be happy but i'm not... how do i process this? (Preview) So there's a change in my husband's drinking habit. He doesn't go home in the wee hours, like a cinderella he's home by 12 mn and because the time is short, he was not able to drink as much. I thought I should be happy, i thought it was my husband's self determination... i learned that the reason for this is...	jocelgp	12	909	Apr 28, 2016 by jocelgp
	Hi, I'm new here... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to Al-anon and I'm not sure if I'm 'doing it right'. I went to my first meeting a couple of weeks ago. Ironically, I grew up around AA meetings with my dad and step mom, and yet for some reason until a friend invited me to go with her Al-Anon had never even occured to me. Durp. Anyway - It seems l...	xirei	6	807	Apr 27, 2016 by xirei
	alone w nothing to do. (Preview) I figure I can get on here w nothing to do or say except I love you all. I have been having challenges but it is all good. Thanks for your support.	Hoot Nanny	4	571	Apr 27, 2016 by hotrod
	Have been gone for a bit (Preview) So I stopped going to my meetings a few months ago and stopped coming here. I was struggling very much with pulling away from my ABF and I felt like Al Anon was playing a part in that. So I detached from my program. Then I just felt gilt from that. I felt like I had betrayed myself and my Al Anon family from not...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	5	622	Apr 27, 2016 by hotrod
	What alanon has done for me thus far..... (Preview) Since moving out onto my own for the first time ever, I have the confidence to be worthy, whole and own my time and space. I am amazed at how my life has changed when I dragged my sad miserable carcass into my first meeting a few years ago. My sponsor loved me until I really learned how to love myself. I have se...	Breakingfree	13	874	Apr 27, 2016 by likemyheart
	Am I overreacting? (Preview) I have been married for 12 years. We have three children and I am concerned with what my children are seeing. My in-laws drink every evening after they get off of work. Overtime we have asked them to please not drink whenever they have the kids over. It always concerns me, what they are seeing. Are the gr...	Mommyof3	16	913	Apr 27, 2016 by Mattie
	Women of Long Term Marriages ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hello! I am finding here many that talk about their stupid boyfriends, etc. and I want to talk to you women having long term marriages like I have. Tell me: all about yourselves. I would very much like to know. Share with me please. I need to discuss my issues, but I am quite leary to share with someone...	Inga	53	1942	Apr 27, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Self Love (Preview) Todays reading in C2C is one of my favourites. Its beautiful. It has such simple wisdom in it. It says 'I block my own well being each time I base my self worth on what I do or what others think of me' So true. I have identified one of my shortcomings as people pleasing and looking for validation of my worth fr...	el-cee	3	902	Apr 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	MUSCLE RUB NAZI (Preview) I rounded out my birthday weekend with something that I love to do....yard work. Sunday was a day of weeding and moving plants, mowing the lawn. I went to a plant auction on Saturday and I got two things I have always wanted....a Crepe Myrtle tree and a weeping cherry tree. So Sunday was also a day of di...	Fooled	18	3247	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 27/4 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about loving and accepting ourselves. It suggests that even if we could make all of the people around us happy and "straighten them out" it would probably not increase our self esteem, in fact it probably makes it worse as we lose ourselves in the process of "sorting out" others. Th...	missmeliss	2	704	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Silly Silly Softball People (Preview) I am in Kansas so if any of you watch weather, you know that the middle of the country is under severe weather watches, warnings, complete with strong wind, heavy downpours, flash flooding and tornadoes!! So - it's Tuesday and Tuesday is softball night - 4 games each week. Well - nobody thought we woul...	Iamhere	3	663	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 25/4 (Preview) Today's C2C addresses the denial many of us develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that even thog we may have been living for years with doubt, fear, chaos and all manner of unpleasant emotions and situations, we develop the habit of assuring everyone else, and ourselves th...	missmeliss	4	648	Apr 26, 2016 by Jennyp
	Hope for Today Apr 26 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- The focus of today's reading is humility. There is a sentence on the page that says it all for me: 'Attempting to work the program has given me some humility.' Well ain't that the truth! I think once I started working on my recovery, one of the concepts I worked on accepting had t...	yanksfan51	6	648	Apr 26, 2016 by sweetness34
	Feeling my feelings is hard (Preview) Before Al Anon I was someone who stuffed her feelings down. I would ignore, push through and stuff down any bad feeling I had. I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling. Instead I was running around interpreting and being affected by other people's moods and feelings. Don't get me wrong I could neve...	KT2015	6	3496	Apr 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Very new and lost (Preview) Hi there. I Googled this site on the recommendation from my mom. I currently an in a relationship and his drinking is affecting everything. He is depressed and the drinking makes it worse. Or maybe his drinking makes him depressed. I don't know how to handle it. Is this the place for me? I am not religiou...	AJR1983	8	687	Apr 26, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Going out of my mind (Preview) im new to this and want to go to meetings but I'm to scared. My head is going mental at the moment yet the person in my life with this illness she has hasn't picked up for over two weeks. I really need some help	Luke 1234	11	900	Apr 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Acceptance in the middle of crisis (Preview) Hi everyone, I have gained a great deal of strength from this board, and turn to posting tonight as a step in my own recovery, which has been going on for over 33 years. The last two months have been unrelenting. Two of my sisters have medical conditions that have required a great deal of time and attenti...	vorpal	11	776	Apr 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Very new to this - 2 alanon meetings along and struggling within myself, need some support (Preview) I am a 22 year old lady from the united kingdom and am very new to the programme / alanon, i have only been to 2 meetings. My mum is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years but it has left me completely destroyed and riddled with depression and anxiety which is completely ruining my relationship with my partner...	Changejones	8	750	Apr 26, 2016 by Changejones
	Is surrender vital? (Preview) Ive been pondering this and thinking about what it was about my own journey that helped me commit to this program. I know that i reached a bottom, a place of utter hoplessness. I had finally run out of my own ideas and solutions, that were of course not solutions. I remember feeling like putting my hands u...	el-cee	5	767	Apr 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	I have missed my friends here.. (Preview) Life has been busy .. busy is good.. I have found you tube "hope and Healing 24/7" from alanon seminars... Oh my .. do I highly recommend them! I have the past year been doing so much personal growth .. my new "addiction" is audio books (being careful with this)... I came across these seminar recordings...	sweeetr	2	2706	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Kindness to myself (Preview) Today is my birthday. Its like the cold war here. AH is in a full relapse. There is no more slips, there is nothing but active drinking. Every day. He drives home that way from work-an hour. Last night he said he would be home at 730 so that I could go to my face to face, my children called me from thei...	Fooled	12	982	Apr 25, 2016 by lookingup
	Alcoholism and an Affair (Preview) Is there anyone on here that is working through adjusting to life with a man who is working towards sobriety and is doing well (He started rehab April 2015 and relapsed twice, last relapse August 2015) AND at the same time also trying to not only forgive the alcohol but is having a harder time forgiving...	hopeful987	8	1174	Apr 25, 2016 by Luke 1234
	Baby Steps (Preview) Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...	Truth	11	724	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	My father passed away (Preview) My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...	Mirandac	31	848	Apr 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	Moved this post by CheezyNana a new member from Sticky (Preview) CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...	hotrod	4	714	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question for Hawaii Double Winners or Maui Residents only please (Preview) First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...	Doingmybest	3	2692	Apr 25, 2016 by Doingmybest
	NEED YOUR THOUGHTS (Preview) I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...	YARNCRAZY	5	622	Apr 25, 2016 by hotrod
	New here and just left alcoholic spouse of 18 years (Preview) Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...	debvin22	7	738	Apr 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Explaining alcoholism, detachment and forgiveness to a disabled Adult Child??? (Preview) It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...	Rosemeyer	3	612	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	my mum is in danger and I don't know what to do and how to do it (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...	gribouille2701	6	665	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Wondering When? (Preview) My bf hasn't had a drink in over 3 weeks. He's doing really well. He said he was done and so far, he's kept his word. How long should he be sober before I can start trusting him again? Still trying to figure out the job situation. On the bright side, I'm only $52 short on rent. Not sure where I'm gonna get...	WhiskeyLullabye	11	746	Apr 24, 2016 by el-cee
	C2C 4-24-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 24 speaks about the slogan,"Easy Does it". It points out that many times we try to force solutions and end up being frustrated and disheartened in the process. If we use the slogan" Easy does it" ,it is interesting to observe the results. Life is more serene because I'm not p...	hotrod	2	500	Apr 24, 2016 by missmeliss
	Levi is in the house.... (Preview) The last pearl to the necklace arrived at 7:00 something last evening and his name is Levi. He takes the character form of the other side of the family and not so much mine. That is how it has often come about for us as our family is multi-racial as so many pacific islanders are. He weighed in at 7 pound...	Jerry F	13	790	Apr 24, 2016 by Doingmybest
	C2C 4-23-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 23 speaks about being "shut down" and not feeling. The reading points out that as the result of living with this disease many of us have reached the point where we could experience life without being moved by it . This is a destructive tool that we developed as a result of livin...	hotrod	6	880	Apr 24, 2016 by Truth
	it's my AH's birthday... HELP1 (Preview) I have to admit this has been a worry to me for a month now. He has been bringing up this topic, yes for a month now and the day is coming near, tomorrow! He has been bringing up the topic that he will be going out for a drink with his friends to celebrate his birthday. He is being nice like a kid waiting for hi...	jocelgp	9	759	Apr 23, 2016 by jocelgp
	contervesy, lies & gossip. (Preview) Why is it that it seems that lots of people like to create controversy & lies then gossip about it? I am so sick of the media assuming things. IF I was in the position that some people are, I would be outraged. I am not a gossip generally speaking but I care about most people I talk about. I guess I can slip...	Hoot Nanny	2	617	Apr 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Enabler question, unrelated HP musing, and a question about books (Preview) Hi everyone. I attended a counseling session today and my "homework" was to confront my AH about the booze under our bed. "Normal people do not keep bottles of booze under your bed", she said. "If he's going to drink, tell him that you know that, and he should do it in front of you. If it's all in secret, it...	Fedora	4	750	Apr 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	My dog taught me a lesson in detachment (Preview) This could apply to any of you as you deal with your alcoholic or even dry drunk, but what I'm about to tell you is about my teenage son (almost alcoholic, definitely a dry drunk in personality the last two years and weed smoker). Last night he didn't have to work at his part time job and of course went out w...	Doves	2	1049	Apr 23, 2016 by Hope4Healing
	Brand new to this (Preview) I have only suspected my son is an alcoholic for maybe a month. He received the diagnosis on Tuesday. He's currently sober because we forced it on him..He says he doesn't want to be an alcoholic, but he acts like one every. I think you call that dry drunk. I can't express to you the depth of my pain right now...	Bianca75	11	761	Apr 22, 2016 by Doves
	Just today... (Preview) I joined MIP a little over 3 years ago. I have also been in face to face meetings with Al-Anon, AA and ACOA. None of this makes me a hero, but it does help me to understand why people become addicted, how it affects the whole family and how to survive.A year ago this July 14th I lost one of my best friends to C...	Jen61	3	549	Apr 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reorganizing (Preview) Hello all, So AH was doing good and now he has relapsed. I knew it was coming. He had a few drinks with friends multiple nights in a row. A glass of wine with dinner. And then a blow up. He is currently pouting because he got mad at me and said i dont believe him that he wasnt drunk. He now admits he was drunk bu...	Gardening	7	631	Apr 22, 2016 by Bella0104
	why me? (Preview) Yeah I actually still ask that question? I am not going to do a poor me. I just want to throw out my garbage! Pity is not in my vocabulary. OK so I can be a whiner. So today I noticed nothing new but my Ah is pissy. He didn't know where I was after church & couldn't wait to pick me up so he again commented that h...	Hoot Nanny	5	689	Apr 22, 2016 by Bella0104
	Not sure what I am feeling...but it doesn't feel good (Preview) My AH is on his second day of sickness after about a two week bender. It was a bad one this time with an average of a fifth of vodka or whiskey a day. I knew he would crash and burn at some point and it started Saturday morning. All day he was throwing up and had the shakes. He slept most of the day. Today he i...	Bethany66	16	862	Apr 22, 2016 by lookingup
	sex as a drug? (Preview) I really don't want to post this. Because I feel like it is too complex to describe. But I'll try to be simple. I'm curious if others have had a similar experience/feeling about sex with their A, with the A using it as a drug. Or maybe that's something that people in general do, and some of them happen to be A...	oceanpine	8	722	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Question (Preview) Have any of you had a qualifier that was so depressed damaged from addiction/laziness that they were utterly lacking in self care, no bathing, shoving disrty dishes under the bed, in the trash...moldy food every where. No amount of talking is working. This is in a rehab. 19 year old girl. I think we are...	pinkchip	24	1075	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Would this be a red flag to you? (Preview) Or maybe a pink one, lol? I recently expressed to my bf that he hurt my feelings. He immediately told me that I shouldn't feel that way because it wasn't a big deal. I told him, "Quit telling me how I should or shouldn't feel!!!" We had a brief discussion and he thinks I should have understood his posit...	andromeda	12	862	Apr 22, 2016 by Breakingfree
	this is what it sounds like... (Preview) When doves cry! I am saddened today by the loss of a man & artist who was the background of my young life. I was just a teen when the man hit this world w his music & message. I was moved by the music. The song When Doves Cry was a definite meaningful song w lyrics that include maybe you are just like my m...	Hoot Nanny	7	659	Apr 22, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/22/2016 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - Happy Friday - TGIF... The reading for today discusses the first three steps of Al-Anon and how important they are as a spiritual foundation for the remaining steps. We are asked to focus and work on these three steps to help us be thorough and grounded before we move to Step 4,...	Iamhere	2	675	Apr 22, 2016 by missmeliss
	16 Days dry, and all is pretty okay. (Preview) Sorry that I haven't been around much. Thankfully, I have been extremely busy, and things have been pretty good. It's been 16 days since my AH had a drink. He has continued to do his program, and is leading the two of us in prayer at least twice a day. We have been doing devotionals together too. Quite fran...	sweetness34	4	769	Apr 22, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Annoyed (Preview) I am annoyed. I just had a tooth pulled but thats not why im annoyed. I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking that something was wrong with the divorce papers. So I called my lawyer. Seems my x sis in law who was supposed to serve the papers since she says that they will only allow her to see soon to be XAH wh...	YARNCRAZY	3	638	Apr 21, 2016 by hotrod
	Letting go and letting God? (Preview) So, I am not living with my dry AH who has no recovery. We are living in different places . At my insistence, we do not communicate except email. If there is no drama in his life he will make it so no phone calls is better for me. Since I left he has (MDD) major depression, sees professionals and is consum...	pjwa12726	4	726	Apr 21, 2016 by pjwa12726
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.