Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

Last few days or so ,my a/sister has been ignoring me ,if I ask her something she keeps walking then when I tell her I need to ask her something concerning finances ,bills etc...she turns at me with a acowl on her face ,she stays in her bedroom,my x/bf came to visit and you couldn't have poured sugar on her a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am not sure how I want to approach the rest of this beautiful day! I for sure want to continue my gratitude mission. I guess I want to spread the love... Today could be one of my best days if I just let it be. It seems that no matter what happens I can start my day over if I need to. But, I have a feeling that I am no...

Giancarlo · Giancarlo

I'm not really sure how to start this, my therapist thinks it would be productive for me to post here, maybe help me find some catharsis. I guess the easiest place to start is with the obvious. I'm here because I was raised in an abusive environment.. I like saying it like that "abusive environment" if...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

There was a challenge I saw on FB (I think) to participate in writing a letter a day for every day in the month of April and I accepted the challenge. Thirty letters in thirty days. I wrote on my calendar for the entire month who I would write to and I tried hard to stick to it. Only one day did I forget to wri...

Fedora · Fedora

background to my post ... Today my spouse and I made an arrangement to meet up at kids' school where we would attend a kid related event, and I would take the kids from there to next thing. As soon as I met them, my "somebody has been drinking" radar went up. He had that "squinty eye" look (I don't know how to...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about the concept of humility, and how we can perceive it to mean placing the wants and needs of others above our own, taking care of others and ignoring our own needs. In al-anon we learn that humility isn't about self deprivation or neglect, but rather about doing our part in our rela...

FHP · FHP

My AH and I started marriage counseling yesterday, last ditch effort to save the marriage. It was ok, mostly just setting up how it all works. Untill yesterday, the only communication we had was via text, and then only about logistics. His sponsor suggested doing that because we'd been in a cycle of hi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had a complete internal meltdown this morning. The OCD Genie has been out of his bottle just lately. I hate that guy. We had a night and a day of really extreme weather and I was up most of the night listening to things bang around in the wind. There were lots of warnings to stay indoors, park cars away from...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This has been a really intense week. I'm currently doing a full time study load plus 2 extra subjects, and tonight, I had 4 assignments due at midnight, so I've been stuck in a chair typing non stop all week. Anyway I submitted everything at 10 minutes to midnight (I'm sure that's the title of a book lol) a...

SCGirl84 · SCGirl84

Hello everyone. I hope that I have found a place to get everything out there and find the help needed. My story is a little long, but it will give you an idea on where to even start. I met a guy who was in a rehab facility. We started dating and I would pick him up on the weekends and we would spend time together t...

lookingup · lookingup

while waiting on dr office to open a man was waiting also so decided he started talking to me so the conversation goes on for 10 mins ,then he ask if it's OK to change ph no.i say why not it's just for friendship only or go drink a cup of coffee,I'm at dr ,sick with crud he is there broken down on the verge of losi...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Sound familiar? My 35 year old AD makes lots of bad choices (surprise!). I tryto remain positive, steer conversations away from ones in which she talks about illegal activities, reminding her yhat I do not want to hear about drugs/drug use etc. When she asks me what she should in in various difficult...

El · El

I have been with my alcoholic SO for 13 years; living together for the past 5. Our friends and family "get" him and know how he gets when he drinks too much. Although it is embarrassing and distressing, no one is surprised by his behavior. The problem I have is when my brother comes to visit from out of t...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm beating myself up with ..not being or going to church,my church family has tried and tried to get me to attend church with no avail,I'm feeling like I'm just not ready,why ,I don't know really myself,recovery right now ,my step program is most important to me and priority for most part and it's work...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Woo hoo! It's been a month since my AH's last drink. That is the longest (aside from when he was recovering from open heart surgery) that he has gone without drinking in about ten years. My question is...do I celebrate this? Do I congratulate him, or do something special? I'm interested in hearing yo...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I've been busy and haven't been on here in a while. But, a lot has been happening. I go back to work tomorrow. I'm going to be getting pictures of my daughter soon. I think I may have had a miscarriage. Boyfriend still isn't drinking and his daughter went back to her mother's about a week ago. I've ha...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

So, I think I mentioned that I was very sick last summer. My Dad passed in February, and then in May I got really, really sick. Without going into detail, I will share that we were told that if I had waited two more days, before going to the Emergency Room, I would not be here. I was in the hospital for eleven d...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- This reading speaks to the sanity as described in step two: 'came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity'. The writer acknowledges that insanity for many of us is holding on to the defects within us. Not that the defects themselves- jealousy,...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH was intoxicated last night and he started telling my daughter some ridiculously untrue story about almost selling her to the circus and about how she outran a wolf as a toddler. It was quite honestly very ridiculous. She's 7 and she seemed to believe it and asked him several times if it was true. ...

lookingup · lookingup

hp- be his or let him be your tin God???? What's the definition or what exactly is this meaning? What is the message it's trying to get across and is everybody got a diff. Interpretation of this saying .?Plz anyone give me esh on this one....confused......hugs lu

oceanpine · oceanpine

My AH and I moved 800 miles away from our parents, siblings, etc almost 3 years ago. It has been very difficult for a number of reasons, but first and foremost, due to his active A behavior. Two years ago this week, I threw together an emergency intervention, with new neighbors and friends who had witn...

joker · joker

I am grateful today as I had a great night sleep, despite the abf getting drunk. We worked all day in the back yard and he drank all day but did work. By evening, he was getting drunker and had to go for a beer run. I admit, I enabled him, by driving to the liquor store. He made a fire outside in the fire pit in the...

Aerin · Aerin

He constantly says he knows he has a binge drinking "issue", and that one day he will conquer the "demon". So basically he goes 5 days without drinking, sees that as progress and "rewards" himself with a few drinks! He refuses to see that as going backwards in his goal! He loves to say there is nothing wro...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Spent thurs,Fri,sat and 1/2 sunday at his house. We worked so hard at our yard sale there,im exhausted. Anyway, during a lull a kind of strange friend of his sidled up to me and said, " you should stop talking about your X because H doesnt like it[ H is my boyfriend]. So when H and I were taking a break, I said...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 30 speaks about the importance of " patience". It points out that often, prior to program, we have handled issues by simply ignoring them, and had little success with this process. This is denial Thanks to Al-Anon we no longer have to wait for situation to explode. before...

lookingup · lookingup

ive never been on a airplane in my 52 yrs of life,and lived here in Mississippi most of my life,my sil joined the airforce 8 yrs ago he and my daughter been doing the over seas only ,just the way they chose to do it,my only grand babies travel with them,my daughter has several times over the years to get me on...

Jennyp · Jennyp

I know I can't control him or cure him but some days, it hurts me so deeply that I am at the bottom of his prority list. I am very ill today and he said he would bring me ginger ale on his way home, should be about half an hour he said. 3 hours ago and I know he has been drinking all day and " one more" takes priority...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All, It's been a few weeks since I last posted... I have been reading others' posts, but have not wanted to be repetitive re my own problems/circumstances - which I am sad to report have not changed (referencing the mystery illness). I had been doing a bit better with my obsessing (bit being the opera...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 Has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together http://stepwork.activeboard.com...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today , May 1, talks about some of our negative habits that keep us unhappy and living in the victim role.It goes on to indicate that when we "day dream" and think "if ionly" my partner was sober, rich, more successful then I would be happy. It suggest that by so doing .many of us hav...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, I got a text from my exBF after two weeks of no contact. He just said 'Hi, I hope you are doing okay'. I received the text just as I was heading out the door to meet up with a guy friend of mine to listen to a band and dance. I felt incredibly guilty. I responded to him this morning and said that I...

Fedora · Fedora

My mother knows my AH drinks too much. She doesn't live near us, but she has spent enough time, she knows. My MIL, as far as I know, doesn't know that AH drinks. He has gone to great lengths to hide it from her all our dating/married lives. His brother does the same. She was married to an alcoholic (AH's dad...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm wondering if I'm getting these 2 confused,my feelings and gut feelings ,I e been told several times that my gut feelings were wrong,and I'd get mad but maybe their right,that's coming from my qualifiers they (my abf) at the time now my xabf Has said this to me that my gut was usually wrong .anybody kn...

ksmom80 · ksmom80

I'm using talk to text so I apologize in advance for any typos so I'm less than 12 hours away from facing the alcoholic and drug addict father of my two-year-old son I have PTSD from his emotional abuse and the flashbacks have been horrible all day I thought I had protected myself as well as my child by ente...

Jim521 · Jim521

Hi All, I`ve been browsing the forum for a while now and thought it would be good to sign up. I`ve been with my AOH for around 18 months now and through many ups and downs she is finally doing various stints in between relapses (just over 3 weeks currently. Shes currently in AA and seems to be going on a regul...

Fooled · Fooled

I always thought my mother and I were very close. We live in different states and we talked on the phone quite frequently until my AH hit his rock bottom. I called her the other day just to check in as she had been sick and she is almost 80 so sometimes I worry. The conversation was very cold on her end....

lookingup · lookingup

As you all know or most on here about my a/sister that Li Es here with me and in no program or gets any help,getting on with my story she decided to get off her 20 yr opioids addictions,on her own she says,I had told here that she couldn't do it on her own that she would need help,she says she had to detox hersel...

joker · joker

I wrote down all my fears about my abf drinking today and it was 2 pages of dread. I fear this..that would happen if the drinking does not stop. I am fearing for him, and not myself. He does not care about the fears I project. He just lives in the moment and drinks. Yet, here I am fearing this or that outcome fo...

Sonny123 · Sonny123

My brother has been an alcoholic for probably fourty years. He has many drunk driving violations and should probably be in jail for many years. I also believe he has mental illness. He is out on two separate bails and if found would definitely go to jail. He is in a remote location and now does not have a ca...

a4l · a4l

I no longer follow the urge to bang my head against them. My technical and legal husband is in our island of origin at the moment. we have a weird marriage. He lives and works in another state during the week and comes up on weekends. I tried to end it. He just ignored me and keeps coming back. More or less he...

Melmel69 · Melmel69

A few days ago my ex who I was with for 27 years died from complications of his acholisizm. I was hit so hard by his passing. I feel alone in my grief and overwhelmed. Has anyone else had this experience?????

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses seeing ourselves as we truly are today, in time, vs. how we perhaps felt as we grew up. Many of us grew up with guilt and blame, amidst harsh criticism and constant fear. The writer discusses that even now, after years of recovery, past mistakes can come forward and reactio...

Asdfghjkl · Asdfghjkl

We're both in our early 30's, she's 18 months sober, we have successful careers and have been married for 1 year. It just so happens I work in a brewery and the resentment my wife shows towards me is getting to be detrimental to our marriage. Whenever I consume alcohol she gets angry with me. This leads to...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I'm not sure whether I am expecting too much out of my sponsor or not but it seems every time I call her and I'm going through something that I need help with her response is "I'm sorry you are going through this, but this too shall pass, you just have to walk through it". I have told her that I want...

yippee1999 · yippee1999

Hi all. Attended my first meeting today. My sense is that attendees can talk out loud if they want, but that no one is supposed to give any feedback to others during a meeting...is that correct? I on the other hand feel that give and take...feedback...can be very helpful to others. For e.g., in toda...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And definitely handled much better because of the rock Al-Anon and my HP are in my life. Basics: Hospitalized for 8 days (barely remember 4 of them) with Gallstone Pancreatitis, poked by everyone, arms black and blue, home with incredible physical weakness I'd not experienced before, sent home to l...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to get this out of my mind. I had a nightmare this morning. It was about a close friend her husband. It was so real it makes me sick. The dream was about them breaking up due to cheating. I wasn't really there for her except hugs. Now this was a dream for sure but this could happen. I guess this is probabl...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in the Courage to Change focuses on learning through our experiences. I am going to start with today's reminder - "Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something for me to...

Stormyyoda · Stormyyoda

My husband is a drunk. He won't admit he has a problem but it is getting out of control. He seems to think he can handle it but once he starts there is no stopping him. I can't deal with it anymore. He rather drink then face life. Always threatening to leave me. How I make his lif bad. I have tried walking away a...

jocelgp · jocelgp

So there's a change in my husband's drinking habit. He doesn't go home in the wee hours, like a cinderella he's home by 12 mn and because the time is short, he was not able to drink as much. I thought I should be happy, i thought it was my husband's self determination... i learned that the reason for this is...

xirei · xirei

Hello, I'm new to Al-anon and I'm not sure if I'm 'doing it right'. I went to my first meeting a couple of weeks ago. Ironically, I grew up around AA meetings with my dad and step mom, and yet for some reason until a friend invited me to go with her Al-Anon had never even occured to me. Durp. Anyway - It seems l...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I figure I can get on here w nothing to do or say except I love you all. I have been having challenges but it is all good. Thanks for your support.

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So I stopped going to my meetings a few months ago and stopped coming here. I was struggling very much with pulling away from my ABF and I felt like Al Anon was playing a part in that. So I detached from my program. Then I just felt gilt from that. I felt like I had betrayed myself and my Al Anon family from not...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since moving out onto my own for the first time ever, I have the confidence to be worthy, whole and own my time and space. I am amazed at how my life has changed when I dragged my sad miserable carcass into my first meeting a few years ago. My sponsor loved me until I really learned how to love myself. I have se...

Mommyof3 · Mommyof3

I have been married for 12 years. We have three children and I am concerned with what my children are seeing. My in-laws drink every evening after they get off of work. Overtime we have asked them to please not drink whenever they have the kids over. It always concerns me, what they are seeing. Are the gr...

Inga · Inga

Hello! I am finding here many that talk about their stupid boyfriends, etc. and I want to talk to you women having long term marriages like I have. Tell me: all about yourselves. I would very much like to know. Share with me please. I need to discuss my issues, but I am quite leary to share with someone...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading in C2C is one of my favourites. Its beautiful. It has such simple wisdom in it. It says 'I block my own well being each time I base my self worth on what I do or what others think of me' So true. I have identified one of my shortcomings as people pleasing and looking for validation of my worth fr...

Fooled · Fooled

I rounded out my birthday weekend with something that I love to do....yard work. Sunday was a day of weeding and moving plants, mowing the lawn. I went to a plant auction on Saturday and I got two things I have always wanted....a Crepe Myrtle tree and a weeping cherry tree. So Sunday was also a day of di...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks about loving and accepting ourselves. It suggests that even if we could make all of the people around us happy and "straighten them out" it would probably not increase our self esteem, in fact it probably makes it worse as we lose ourselves in the process of "sorting out" others. Th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am in Kansas so if any of you watch weather, you know that the middle of the country is under severe weather watches, warnings, complete with strong wind, heavy downpours, flash flooding and tornadoes!! So - it's Tuesday and Tuesday is softball night - 4 games each week. Well - nobody thought we woul...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Alanon learning or how to use alanon (Preview) Last few days or so ,my a/sister has been ignoring me ,if I ask her something she keeps walking then when I tell her I need to ask her something concerning finances ,bills etc...she turns at me with a acowl on her face ,she stays in her bedroom,my x/bf came to visit and you couldn't have poured sugar on her a...	lookingup	9	578	May 4, 2016 by lookingup
	not sure what to do today?? (Preview) I am not sure how I want to approach the rest of this beautiful day! I for sure want to continue my gratitude mission. I guess I want to spread the love... Today could be one of my best days if I just let it be. It seems that no matter what happens I can start my day over if I need to. But, I have a feeling that I am no...	Hoot Nanny	11	585	May 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	How I remember them/moving forward (Preview) I'm not really sure how to start this, my therapist thinks it would be productive for me to post here, maybe help me find some catharsis. I guess the easiest place to start is with the obvious. I'm here because I was raised in an abusive environment.. I like saying it like that "abusive environment" if...	Giancarlo	6	660	May 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reaching out with healing words (Preview) There was a challenge I saw on FB (I think) to participate in writing a letter a day for every day in the month of April and I accepted the challenge. Thirty letters in thirty days. I wrote on my calendar for the entire month who I would write to and I tried hard to stick to it. Only one day did I forget to wri...	Bethany66	6	687	May 4, 2016 by milkwood
	working on step 1 and ruminating about other issues like detachment (Preview) background to my post ... Today my spouse and I made an arrangement to meet up at kids' school where we would attend a kid related event, and I would take the kids from there to next thing. As soon as I met them, my "somebody has been drinking" radar went up. He had that "squinty eye" look (I don't know how to...	Fedora	6	628	May 4, 2016 by sweeetr
	Courage To Change 2/5 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about the concept of humility, and how we can perceive it to mean placing the wants and needs of others above our own, taking care of others and ignoring our own needs. In al-anon we learn that humility isn't about self deprivation or neglect, but rather about doing our part in our rela...	missmeliss	8	563	May 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Need some input about what tools to use (Preview) My AH and I started marriage counseling yesterday, last ditch effort to save the marriage. It was ok, mostly just setting up how it all works. Untill yesterday, the only communication we had was via text, and then only about logistics. His sponsor suggested doing that because we'd been in a cycle of hi...	FHP	5	495	May 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Sage advice, Grandma. (Preview) I had a complete internal meltdown this morning. The OCD Genie has been out of his bottle just lately. I hate that guy. We had a night and a day of really extreme weather and I was up most of the night listening to things bang around in the wind. There were lots of warnings to stay indoors, park cars away from...	missmeliss	7	688	May 4, 2016 by Jen61
	Oh no :-( (Preview) This has been a really intense week. I'm currently doing a full time study load plus 2 extra subjects, and tonight, I had 4 assignments due at midnight, so I've been stuck in a chair typing non stop all week. Anyway I submitted everything at 10 minutes to midnight (I'm sure that's the title of a book lol) a...	missmeliss	19	892	May 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	My story (Preview) Hello everyone. I hope that I have found a place to get everything out there and find the help needed. My story is a little long, but it will give you an idea on where to even start. I met a guy who was in a rehab facility. We started dating and I would pick him up on the weekends and we would spend time together t...	SCGirl84	11	784	May 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Met someone new (Preview) while waiting on dr office to open a man was waiting also so decided he started talking to me so the conversation goes on for 10 mins ,then he ask if it's OK to change ph no.i say why not it's just for friendship only or go drink a cup of coffee,I'm at dr ,sick with crud he is there broken down on the verge of losi...	lookingup	1	492	May 3, 2016 by hotrod
	When your A turns vicious if you won't pay for the A's mistakes (Preview) Sound familiar? My 35 year old AD makes lots of bad choices (surprise!). I tryto remain positive, steer conversations away from ones in which she talks about illegal activities, reminding her yhat I do not want to hear about drugs/drug use etc. When she asks me what she should in in various difficult...	lgnutah	4	623	May 3, 2016 by LinSC
	How to handle embarrassment? (Preview) I have been with my alcoholic SO for 13 years; living together for the past 5. Our friends and family "get" him and know how he gets when he drinks too much. Although it is embarrassing and distressing, no one is surprised by his behavior. The problem I have is when my brother comes to visit from out of t...	El	12	739	May 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Beating myself up (Preview) I'm beating myself up with ..not being or going to church,my church family has tried and tried to get me to attend church with no avail,I'm feeling like I'm just not ready,why ,I don't know really myself,recovery right now ,my step program is most important to me and priority for most part and it's work...	lookingup	6	770	May 3, 2016 by lookingup
	It's been a month. (Preview) Woo hoo! It's been a month since my AH's last drink. That is the longest (aside from when he was recovering from open heart surgery) that he has gone without drinking in about ten years. My question is...do I celebrate this? Do I congratulate him, or do something special? I'm interested in hearing yo...	sweetness34	9	594	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	Been Missing for a While (Preview) I've been busy and haven't been on here in a while. But, a lot has been happening. I go back to work tomorrow. I'm going to be getting pictures of my daughter soon. I think I may have had a miscarriage. Boyfriend still isn't drinking and his daughter went back to her mother's about a week ago. I've ha...	WhiskeyLullabye	6	747	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	When two people you love are at odds (Preview) So, I think I mentioned that I was very sick last summer. My Dad passed in February, and then in May I got really, really sick. Without going into detail, I will share that we were told that if I had waited two more days, before going to the Emergency Room, I would not be here. I was in the hospital for eleven d...	sweetness34	11	811	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	Hope for Today May 3 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- This reading speaks to the sanity as described in step two: 'came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity'. The writer acknowledges that insanity for many of us is holding on to the defects within us. Not that the defects themselves- jealousy,...	yanksfan51	3	542	May 3, 2016 by sweetness34
	AH telling daughter "stories" (Preview) My AH was intoxicated last night and he started telling my daughter some ridiculously untrue story about almost selling her to the circus and about how she outran a wolf as a toddler. It was quite honestly very ridiculous. She's 7 and she seemed to believe it and asked him several times if it was true. ...	KT2015	6	745	May 3, 2016 by KT2015
	Higher power (Preview) hp- be his or let him be your tin God???? What's the definition or what exactly is this meaning? What is the message it's trying to get across and is everybody got a diff. Interpretation of this saying .?Plz anyone give me esh on this one....confused......hugs lu	lookingup	3	539	May 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Would like some ESH (Preview) My AH and I moved 800 miles away from our parents, siblings, etc almost 3 years ago. It has been very difficult for a number of reasons, but first and foremost, due to his active A behavior. Two years ago this week, I threw together an emergency intervention, with new neighbors and friends who had witn...	oceanpine	7	696	May 3, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Grateful today (Preview) I am grateful today as I had a great night sleep, despite the abf getting drunk. We worked all day in the back yard and he drank all day but did work. By evening, he was getting drunker and had to go for a beer run. I admit, I enabled him, by driving to the liquor store. He made a fire outside in the fire pit in the...	joker	1	509	May 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	He Refuses To See Drinking As Bad (Preview) He constantly says he knows he has a binge drinking "issue", and that one day he will conquer the "demon". So basically he goes 5 days without drinking, sees that as progress and "rewards" himself with a few drinks! He refuses to see that as going backwards in his goal! He loves to say there is nothing wro...	Aerin	8	722	May 2, 2016 by KT2015
	Learned valuable lesson from boyfriend (Preview) Spent thurs,Fri,sat and 1/2 sunday at his house. We worked so hard at our yard sale there,im exhausted. Anyway, during a lull a kind of strange friend of his sidled up to me and said, " you should stop talking about your X because H doesnt like it[ H is my boyfriend]. So when H and I were taking a break, I said...	YARNCRAZY	6	680	May 2, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Courage to Change Reading 4-30-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 30 speaks about the importance of " patience". It points out that often, prior to program, we have handled issues by simply ignoring them, and had little success with this process. This is denial Thanks to Al-Anon we no longer have to wait for situation to explode. before...	hotrod	4	752	May 2, 2016 by Mirandac
	Going to japan (Preview) ive never been on a airplane in my 52 yrs of life,and lived here in Mississippi most of my life,my sil joined the airforce 8 yrs ago he and my daughter been doing the over seas only ,just the way they chose to do it,my only grand babies travel with them,my daughter has several times over the years to get me on...	lookingup	5	761	May 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Priorities (Preview) I know I can't control him or cure him but some days, it hurts me so deeply that I am at the bottom of his prority list. I am very ill today and he said he would bring me ginger ale on his way home, should be about half an hour he said. 3 hours ago and I know he has been drinking all day and " one more" takes priority...	Jennyp	6	688	May 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Will It Ever Stop? (Preview) Hi All, It's been a few weeks since I last posted... I have been reading others' posts, but have not wanted to be repetitive re my own problems/circumstances - which I am sad to report have not changed (referencing the mystery illness). I had been doing a bit better with my obsessing (bit being the opera...	Jaclyn	5	675	May 2, 2016 by el-cee
	Step 8 Posted (Preview) Step 8 Has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together http://stepwork.activeboard.com...	hotrod	0	420	May 1, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 5-1-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for today , May 1, talks about some of our negative habits that keep us unhappy and living in the victim role.It goes on to indicate that when we "day dream" and think "if ionly" my partner was sober, rich, more successful then I would be happy. It suggest that by so doing .many of us hav...	hotrod	4	572	May 1, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Heard from exBF (Preview) Hi everyone, I got a text from my exBF after two weeks of no contact. He just said 'Hi, I hope you are doing okay'. I received the text just as I was heading out the door to meet up with a guy friend of mine to listen to a band and dance. I felt incredibly guilty. I responded to him this morning and said that I...	CyndiODAT	10	783	May 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	meddling mothers? (Preview) My mother knows my AH drinks too much. She doesn't live near us, but she has spent enough time, she knows. My MIL, as far as I know, doesn't know that AH drinks. He has gone to great lengths to hide it from her all our dating/married lives. His brother does the same. She was married to an alcoholic (AH's dad...	Fedora	8	729	May 1, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Feelings versus intuition or gut feelings (Preview) I'm wondering if I'm getting these 2 confused,my feelings and gut feelings ,I e been told several times that my gut feelings were wrong,and I'd get mad but maybe their right,that's coming from my qualifiers they (my abf) at the time now my xabf Has said this to me that my gut was usually wrong .anybody kn...	lookingup	10	801	May 1, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	urgent child custody trial tomorrow (Preview) I'm using talk to text so I apologize in advance for any typos so I'm less than 12 hours away from facing the alcoholic and drug addict father of my two-year-old son I have PTSD from his emotional abuse and the flashbacks have been horrible all day I thought I had protected myself as well as my child by ente...	ksmom80	12	784	May 1, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	I`m new here (Preview) Hi All, I`ve been browsing the forum for a while now and thought it would be good to sign up. I`ve been with my AOH for around 18 months now and through many ups and downs she is finally doing various stints in between relapses (just over 3 weeks currently. Shes currently in AA and seems to be going on a regul...	Jim521	18	1043	May 1, 2016 by Jim521
	Blindsided (Preview) I always thought my mother and I were very close. We live in different states and we talked on the phone quite frequently until my AH hit his rock bottom. I called her the other day just to check in as she had been sick and she is almost 80 so sometimes I worry. The conversation was very cold on her end....	Fooled	11	749	May 1, 2016 by hotrod
	Need help with this one (Preview) As you all know or most on here about my a/sister that Li Es here with me and in no program or gets any help,getting on with my story she decided to get off her 20 yr opioids addictions,on her own she says,I had told here that she couldn't do it on her own that she would need help,she says she had to detox hersel...	lookingup	7	718	May 1, 2016 by a4l
	Reacting to fear (Preview) I wrote down all my fears about my abf drinking today and it was 2 pages of dread. I fear this..that would happen if the drinking does not stop. I am fearing for him, and not myself. He does not care about the fears I project. He just lives in the moment and drinks. Yet, here I am fearing this or that outcome fo...	joker	6	671	Apr 30, 2016 by Jerry F
	New here Urgently Need Advice (Preview) My brother has been an alcoholic for probably fourty years. He has many drunk driving violations and should probably be in jail for many years. I also believe he has mental illness. He is out on two separate bails and if found would definitely go to jail. He is in a remote location and now does not have a ca...	Sonny123	18	692	Apr 30, 2016 by Sonny123
	when brick walls talk back (Preview) I no longer follow the urge to bang my head against them. My technical and legal husband is in our island of origin at the moment. we have a weird marriage. He lives and works in another state during the week and comes up on weekends. I tried to end it. He just ignored me and keeps coming back. More or less he...	a4l	4	783	Apr 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Grief (Preview) A few days ago my ex who I was with for 27 years died from complications of his acholisizm. I was hit so hard by his passing. I feel alone in my grief and overwhelmed. Has anyone else had this experience?????	Melmel69	8	1403	Apr 29, 2016 by Bethany66
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/29/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses seeing ourselves as we truly are today, in time, vs. how we perhaps felt as we grew up. Many of us grew up with guilt and blame, amidst harsh criticism and constant fear. The writer discusses that even now, after years of recovery, past mistakes can come forward and reactio...	Iamhere	1	652	Apr 29, 2016 by hotrod
	My wife is in recovery and I work at a brewery (Preview) We're both in our early 30's, she's 18 months sober, we have successful careers and have been married for 1 year. It just so happens I work in a brewery and the resentment my wife shows towards me is getting to be detrimental to our marriage. Whenever I consume alcohol she gets angry with me. This leads to...	Asdfghjkl	7	721	Apr 29, 2016 by Fooled
	Sponsor question (Preview) I'm not sure whether I am expecting too much out of my sponsor or not but it seems every time I call her and I'm going through something that I need help with her response is "I'm sorry you are going through this, but this too shall pass, you just have to walk through it". I have told her that I want...	Mobirdie	8	771	Apr 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Attended my first ever meeting today...anyone here to answer some questions? (Preview) Hi all. Attended my first meeting today. My sense is that attendees can talk out loud if they want, but that no one is supposed to give any feedback to others during a meeting...is that correct? I on the other hand feel that give and take...feedback...can be very helpful to others. For e.g., in toda...	yippee1999	8	616	Apr 28, 2016 by Jerry F
	Illness and surgery (Preview) And definitely handled much better because of the rock Al-Anon and my HP are in my life. Basics: Hospitalized for 8 days (barely remember 4 of them) with Gallstone Pancreatitis, poked by everyone, arms black and blue, home with incredible physical weakness I'd not experienced before, sent home to l...	likemyheart	7	605	Apr 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	dreams & infidelity (Preview) I have to get this out of my mind. I had a nightmare this morning. It was about a close friend her husband. It was so real it makes me sick. The dream was about them breaking up due to cheating. I wasn't really there for her except hugs. Now this was a dream for sure but this could happen. I guess this is probabl...	Hoot Nanny	3	1953	Apr 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/28/16 (Preview) Today's reading in the Courage to Change focuses on learning through our experiences. I am going to start with today's reminder - "Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something for me to...	Iamhere	4	735	Apr 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just can't take anymore (Preview) My husband is a drunk. He won't admit he has a problem but it is getting out of control. He seems to think he can handle it but once he starts there is no stopping him. I can't deal with it anymore. He rather drink then face life. Always threatening to leave me. How I make his lif bad. I have tried walking away a...	Stormyyoda	17	1057	Apr 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	changes in my husband's drinking pattern.. i should be happy but i'm not... how do i process this? (Preview) So there's a change in my husband's drinking habit. He doesn't go home in the wee hours, like a cinderella he's home by 12 mn and because the time is short, he was not able to drink as much. I thought I should be happy, i thought it was my husband's self determination... i learned that the reason for this is...	jocelgp	12	818	Apr 28, 2016 by jocelgp
	Hi, I'm new here... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to Al-anon and I'm not sure if I'm 'doing it right'. I went to my first meeting a couple of weeks ago. Ironically, I grew up around AA meetings with my dad and step mom, and yet for some reason until a friend invited me to go with her Al-Anon had never even occured to me. Durp. Anyway - It seems l...	xirei	6	732	Apr 27, 2016 by xirei
	alone w nothing to do. (Preview) I figure I can get on here w nothing to do or say except I love you all. I have been having challenges but it is all good. Thanks for your support.	Hoot Nanny	4	507	Apr 27, 2016 by hotrod
	Have been gone for a bit (Preview) So I stopped going to my meetings a few months ago and stopped coming here. I was struggling very much with pulling away from my ABF and I felt like Al Anon was playing a part in that. So I detached from my program. Then I just felt gilt from that. I felt like I had betrayed myself and my Al Anon family from not...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	5	556	Apr 27, 2016 by hotrod
	What alanon has done for me thus far..... (Preview) Since moving out onto my own for the first time ever, I have the confidence to be worthy, whole and own my time and space. I am amazed at how my life has changed when I dragged my sad miserable carcass into my first meeting a few years ago. My sponsor loved me until I really learned how to love myself. I have se...	Breakingfree	13	800	Apr 27, 2016 by likemyheart
	Am I overreacting? (Preview) I have been married for 12 years. We have three children and I am concerned with what my children are seeing. My in-laws drink every evening after they get off of work. Overtime we have asked them to please not drink whenever they have the kids over. It always concerns me, what they are seeing. Are the gr...	Mommyof3	16	853	Apr 27, 2016 by Mattie
	Women of Long Term Marriages ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hello! I am finding here many that talk about their stupid boyfriends, etc. and I want to talk to you women having long term marriages like I have. Tell me: all about yourselves. I would very much like to know. Share with me please. I need to discuss my issues, but I am quite leary to share with someone...	Inga	53	1815	Apr 27, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Self Love (Preview) Todays reading in C2C is one of my favourites. Its beautiful. It has such simple wisdom in it. It says 'I block my own well being each time I base my self worth on what I do or what others think of me' So true. I have identified one of my shortcomings as people pleasing and looking for validation of my worth fr...	el-cee	3	819	Apr 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	MUSCLE RUB NAZI (Preview) I rounded out my birthday weekend with something that I love to do....yard work. Sunday was a day of weeding and moving plants, mowing the lawn. I went to a plant auction on Saturday and I got two things I have always wanted....a Crepe Myrtle tree and a weeping cherry tree. So Sunday was also a day of di...	Fooled	18	3105	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 27/4 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about loving and accepting ourselves. It suggests that even if we could make all of the people around us happy and "straighten them out" it would probably not increase our self esteem, in fact it probably makes it worse as we lose ourselves in the process of "sorting out" others. Th...	missmeliss	2	613	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Silly Silly Softball People (Preview) I am in Kansas so if any of you watch weather, you know that the middle of the country is under severe weather watches, warnings, complete with strong wind, heavy downpours, flash flooding and tornadoes!! So - it's Tuesday and Tuesday is softball night - 4 games each week. Well - nobody thought we woul...	Iamhere	3	607	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.